about

I'm Johanna. I'll Come and Go. What can I say? I try.

One thing I LOVE to do is to analyze dreams. Just tell me about a dream you had, and I'll help you understand what it means. :)

advice

I dunno if this product is sold where you live, but it's the only bleach product sold where I live...I was wondering if you could use it to bleach hair on your head?...

If it matters, I want to bleach 2cm from the edges of bits of my hair. Very thin strands...

Thanks.

Yes, you can use it to maybe give yourself highlights. I have done it before, and if your hair is light brown, you will get blonde highlights. If your hair is darker brown, the highlights might turn out reddish.

It looks natural, and pretty good. But don't bleach your whole head- it might look weird. x]

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Why woulld anyone want to pretend to be pregnant?

http://www.wikihow.com/Fake-Pregnancy

There are two logical reasons for this.

One, is that people just want a baby really bad that they would pretend to be pregnant.

Or two, just to mess with people or shock people. (Haha, sounds like something I would do.) But many schools are discriminative against pregnant teen students, so I have seen TV shows where a girl pretends to be pregnant to see the teacher and student reactions and see how differently they would be treated if they were. Sort of like a research project.

:]

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So this is a survey that im doing..

If you would like to, please answer!

Thanks!


Do you believe in sex before marriage?

Yes. I don't think that religion should so much restrict you from sex before marriage, it should only depend on your personal values. Which basically means, don't do it unless you really want to.

It may sound shallow, but I certainly wouldn't want to marry someone before I knew what they were like in bed. I think that people SHOULD have sex before marriage, to see if they're actually going to like being with each other. X]

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i need a quote.
something that sends a message.
how i hate when 3 of my friends
go "awwwwwww" or "awwwwwww you like him"
or "he likes youuuuuuuuuu"
whenever i somewhat like someone.
or they think someone likes me
and i dont do that to them.
and it gets annoying
and i dont want to go right out and say that.
any quote or lyric i can use?
or something you could create?

thanks

Hmm, you sound a lot like me. I usually put song lyrics in my AIM profile when I want to say something to someone, but I don't want it to be obvious. (I think that's what you mean, right?)

Here are some song lyrics that may apply:

Best keep quiet,
You dont listen to me anyway.
Your gonna lose and it's gonna show.
Its far to late to avoid so.
Oh what's that sum,
it added up to nothing
cause your much too dumb.

-The Hives

When I think of what you thought of me,
I take offense, and I'm appalled
that you could discount all I love so easily.
Living your life is not for me.

-AFI

We've got a problem?
First of all there is no "we",
I'm detached from you completely.
I've got a problem.
You tell lies to my friends
and think it won't get back to me.

-AFI

Let's see who laughs last.

OR

I'll give you nothing but a mirthless laugh.


Thats all I can think of. Hope things get better for you! Friends can really be stupid sometimes!

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well, me and my boyfriend's one year will be coming up very shortly. i really need suggestions on what to get him. I've alreay made him a scrap book-so a no on that. he likes rock music, his main thing is music. no, we're not going to have sex. i'm waiting until i'm married. [he know's this] so, any suggestions on what to get him or what we could do? please answer this. i really want to make it special for the both of us.

Guys LOVE food. You could try baking him something, like cookies or brownies, or any food that he likes. You can make it special by putting the cookies/whatever in a pretty tin and maybe slipping tiny pieces of paper in with the cookies that say cute things, like, "I love you because.....blah blah."

Another thing you could do, is just make him something creative and artistic. My sister actually painted an old record and decorated it with hearts and song lyrics, since her boyfriend liked music alot.

Then there's always the idea of making him a CD. If you have an "our" song or two, put those on it. There are a ton of good rock songs that are about love that you could put on it.

In addition, you could make him a small book of reasons why you love him. My sister got a colorful envelop and put 100 slips of paper in it, each with a reason why she loved her boyfriend.

That's about all I can think of. Sorry if I'm not much help, I actually don't have a boyfriend and I have never given a guy an anniversary present, but I'm awaiting the day that I will be able to. :]

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Heyy I got my bellybutton pierced almost a year ago and I found it only hurt when the barbell was put in but I didnt have a good experience! Anyways, I want my tongue pierced and I was wondering how bad that hurt!

If you think your belly button was bad, I would NOT get your tongue pierced. It hurts alot, and you may develop bumps/ a sore on your tongue near the piercing. If you don't take care of it right, it can get infected easily. Also you can't eat solid foods for about a week, because it will kill. If you really want it, weigh the good against the bad and see if you really want it or not.

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My best friend is pregnant. This is really hard to believe for me because of the fact that we are 13 and that we promised eachother we wouldn't do it until we were at least 20. She says she was drunk but what the hell!? She's told me so many versions of the same story and i don't know which to believe! I don't even know how she found out. She is coming over Saturday and she is going to take the pregnancy test in my bathroom again just to make sure. I'm the ONLY one who knows. I want to be her friend but if its true I don't think I can stay friends with her. She is such a bad influence on me.

I know everyone is saying that you "need to be there for her, and blah blah." But honestly, if it was me, I would not want anything to do with her, even if she was my friend. Sorry that I sound like a mean person, but here's my point: You should continue to support her as long as she doesn't pressure YOU to do anything. You should stick by her side, but if she starts saying, "Oh, you should have a baby too." or "Oh why don't you have sex too?" thats when you need to dump her as a friend. You don't have to help her with the pregnancy test, you don't have to help her with anything if you really don't want to. She's not your daughter- let her parents help her if she needs it, because they've actually had children and understand it more. (Obviously she would have to tell her parents first...) But like I said...

A Bad Decision but Good Friend= Yes, she got pregnant but shes not pressuring you to do anything that you don't want to. (sex, drugs, drinking.)

A Bad Influence: She tries to convince you to have a baby with her, to do everything for her, or to engage in other risky behaviors.

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My bf wants to go all the way but i am not sure i am ready. I keep having fantasies of us together but i stop myself. It's getting really hard because he brings condums every time we see each other. My friends and their bf's are doing it...should I?

age: 15/f
my bf: 18

NO!!!! I'm not trying to be mean at all, I'm just telling you the truth. Your boyfriend is 18, and you are 15. He is considered an adult, and you are considered a minor. Having sex with a minor is considered rape (even if you want to do it too.) Your boyfriend could go to jail.

Another reason, most guys break up with you right after you have sex. They've gone all the way with you- there's nothing more to chase. I think its more fun to play hard to get and let the boys chase after you. Don't give in, don't do anything you don't want to.

And, don't do something "because your friends are doing it." Totally lame. Some girl walks up to me the other day and goes, "Hey, where can I buy punk clothes because my friend says I should go punk!" Okay. How lame does that sound to you? Can you imagine saying, "I'll do it with you, because my friends think that I should have sex with you." ???

Bottom line: If you let your friends and your boyfriend walk over you, EVERYONE in your life is going to start walking all over you. Please Please Please take my advice and don't do it. You should consider getting a new boyfriend and some new friends. TRUST ME- there ARE guys out there that think about more than just sex.

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i submitted this question once already but it like didn't go through so i fixed it up a bit..

alright well..

one of my friends has very strict parents. so they were looking at her search history and found her myspace. they also found mine.

i'm not aloud to have a myspace. my parents made it very clear that if i had one, i'd be in deep trouble. i wouldnt be allowed on the computer for a long time and when i am allowed to my parents would watch my every move. so on AIM, i cant talk to anyone about private stuff.

i deleted my account already but i dont know what to do. my friends dad said hes going to tell my parents. her dad is going to say he saw it a few days ago so there's no hiding that i actually did have one.

i really don't know what to do. i don't want to get in trouble and loose my computer rights. last resort would be to come clean but i don't want to have to do that. i need to get out of this situation. i really need help, and FAST!! please, does anyone have any advice?

thank you sooooooooooooooo much. you dont know how incredibly bad i need advice.

I really don't understand parents these days. Myspace is NOT a big deal. Yeah, people get kidnapped and raped off of it, but those are stupid people! (sorry to be mean- but if you post on your profile: "Hi My name is Jane Smith, I live on 123 ABC Lane and go to Mountain Junior High, then yeah...something might happen.)

Don't try to lie to your parents, you want them to think you're mature enough to keep your Myspace. Making excuses will only make you seem immature. If they ask about it, DON'T cry and DON'T whine. Two worst mistakes right there. Calmly admit that you did have a Myspace, and try to explain that it's not that dangerous if you're smart on it.

You could always go to Myspace, and show your parents ALL the safety tips. You know those things you see that say, "Please be aware that myspace is acessed by thousands of users every day...so be careful, blah blah," thing? Show them that. The only reason why parents don't like Myspace is because they don't UNDERSTAND it. Try explaining to your parents how it works- you can set your profile to private so that noone else but your friends can see it, you can block people if they bother you, and if you don't want to be friends with someone, you deny their friend request. Really, myspace has added TONS of new safety features to the site, so show your parents.

I don't know how old you are, but if you're 14+, almost everyone in your age group has a Myspace, and you should tell your parents that too. I got my first Myspace when I was 12, but my Mom made me delete it at first, (just because she didn't want me talking to my sister and her friends on it.) She let me make another one when I was 13, after she understood it better. (My Mom actually MADE a fake myspace just to see what it was all about.) She trusts me completely on it now, and she even takes pictures of me for Myspace. Haha.

x Johanna

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I'm 13 and I'm about 5' 1" and I weigh 79 lbs., and I know that's in the healthy range for BMI's but I can tell I have too much fat, especially on my stomach and thighs. Anyone have any advice on how to lose it?

YOU ARE UNDERWEIGHT! And to me, it sounds like you could be suffering from anorexia or bulimia. You may seem unproportional, because you're so thin, but there is an easy way to solve that: EAT! You can eat as much as you want as long as you work it off later. Just eat healthy, and work out.

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Well heres the thing.
I like three guys.
but one guy is my ex boyfriend.
and He really likes my other friend.
and she really likes him back.
but they dont want to date again becus the have dated before.
and so I like this boy and ever snice he dumped me I tried to make my feelings for him to go away and i dont know what to do.
I dont know if I should tell him or not. and I talked to my friend and she doesnt care as long no one gets hurts cuz i dnt wanna hurt her and she said im not.
so what should i do?
and this guy is like one of my best guy friends.

You can't really "make" your feelings go away, and you said he wasn't interested in you, I would let it go. It sounds like this guy has been dating a lot of girls, and if you go out again with him, it's only going to end in heartbreak. I can tell you from experience, getting back together with an ex is NOT fun. You think you want to, but things end up getting very awkward, and it will only bring up the point of why you two broke up in the first place. I would try to avoid this guy as much as possible, don't dwell on the thought of him. You can still be his friend, and talk to him occasionally, but play it cool. You don't want to be having a three hour long conversation with him, or he'll think you're desperate. In the mean time, try going for the other two guys you like. Stay open minded when it comes to new relationships. Maybe you could even make your ex jealous if you dated one of the new guys. ;]

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can bulimic people get ulcers???

You can get ulcers in your mouth a stomach. Being bulimic increases those chances, along with the chances of having a heart attack, hair falling out, losing all of your teeth due to infection, and many other gruesome side effects. if youa re bulimic, you need to get help soon, or it could turn deadly.

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Lost my job no money about to loose everything family to take care of now what?

Now....a positive attitude! I know this is going to sound corny, but you can go far by being positive. Don't think losing your job was a total bad thing, think of it as a new opportunity to find a new, maybe more interesting job.

What was your old job? What qualifications did you have for that job? Could any of those qualifications be used in another similar job? check around your neighborhood to see if there are any Help Wanted signs up, or check in your newspaper to see if there are any jobs available.

Sorry I'm not much help, but check out these sites:

http://www.allbusiness.com/human-resources/careers-changing-jobs/1620-1.html

http://www.metlife.com/Applications/Corporate/WPS/CDA/PageGenerator/0,4132,P1454,00.html

http://jobsearch.about.com/od/salary/a/fired.htm

http://www.iamnext.com/career/lostjob.html

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this is going to be hard to explain. but im going to try my best. anyway, 16/f. i think i might be bisexual. but thats a whole nother story.

anyway, me and this one girl, LP, are really good friends. i think im in love with her. seriously. i always walk her to class and everytime she sees me she gives me a hug. and when we text, she usually calls me baby and sweetie. now im not sure if all that is because she is being friendly or what. anyway, i cut. sunday night i cut and i told her monday. well she got extremely mad. she hasnt talked to me all day. and its really hard not to talk to her. but she asked me why i cut and i told her its because i realized something and i dont want it to be true but it is.and the realization that i made is that i love her. and she wants me to tell her what i realized, but i cant tell her that. and i told her if i did tell her things would probably change and i cant handle that right now. she just said ok. i mean i really want to tell her, but i dont wanna get shot down, like i know i would. she means so much to me and i DONT want to lose her. but i cant just say hey, im in love with you. i seriously doubt she likes girls AT ALL. but i just cant stop thinking about her. shes a junior and i told myself i would tell her by the time she graduated. but im thinking i should do it sooner, so at least if she ends up hating me or something we could work it out by the time she graduates so we wouldnt leave on bad ways. so my question is, do you think she could like me at all? and, should i tell her or wait?

It sounds to me, like she has some feelings for you. Believe it or not, most girls DO have an attraction to other girls to some extent. You could be bisexual, but just because you have a crush on ONE girl, does not mean you're bisexual. The whole bisexual thing is very complicated, and its best just to try it out. This girl that you like, she probably has attraction to you to some degree, because she gives you a lot of attention and calls you nicknames. I would tell her about how you feel, and you should also tell her that this bisexual thing is all new to you.

You should just say something like, "I really love our friendship, and you are a really awesome person...." Take it from there. You really have nothing to lose- if you say shes such a good friend, then she should always be your friend, whether you date her, whether you don't, whether you're Bi, or not. :]

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no im not the "kid" that keeps posting cause hes curious about his penis, this is my first penis post though :) And I know what im talking about when I say big breast sizes run in the family because it's a proven fact that it is hereditary. With SOME exceptions. good day

*laughs* Oh Okay. So i guess you're like 25 and asking on Advicenators. Thats nice to know. :)

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What are some great French songs, bands, and singer. (obviously ones in french).

I already know of Edith Piaf, just a heads up.

Vanessa Paradis, is the only one I know. She is pretty good, and perhaps the most lucky lady on earth, because she's dating Johnny Depp. :)

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if i pluck my moustache, would it grow back longer, or darker?


i cant wax it.

and no bleaching.


do u girls, pluck urs?


help.

Plucking won't work. It's the same with your eyebrows- you pluck them, and they grow back thicker and darker. I tried doing that with my mustache once- BAD idea. And it hurts REALLY bad too. Why can't you bleach your mustache? If you say your parents won't let you, that's just ridiculous and you need to talk to them. If you're scared to bleach them, then I sugguest you see a therapist. Lol jk. :)

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is your penis size in your genes like girls are with there boobs. like if your family has a history of "big" penis's, will it be hereditary?

No, not necessarily. You really have no idea what you're talking about with the "boob" thing. Technically, all the men in your family could be really "big" but it's different for everyone, so don't get your hopes up. Some genes in your family may do that, but its about a 50/50 chance, same with girls and their boobs. You would have to wait until you reached your peak of puberty (Around 19-20 years old) to see how big you're actually going to be.

And, Okay, I think this is the same person asking all these "penis" questions. You are getting really annoying and need to stop. People are answering you and you keep asking the same thing. If you are like 15 years old, you are really ridiculous, worrying about that at this age. Newsflash, most girls aren't going to care about your penis, and the ones that do, are dumb anyways.

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Okay so i herd that walking is better then running for loosing weight. So if you take a walk for 30 minutes everyday and then do 10 sit ups 5 crunches and 100 that excercise thing for your abs... and eat heathy can you loos weight or do i have to exercise more or less eat less or more?
my eating
Breakfast - nothing (most of the time) sometimes cereal)
Lunch- Apples&sandwich
Dinner-Rice or somethingelse.. a dinner meal (all sorts of things)

Is that okay and plus my excersising? or should i excersise and eat less please help?


Thanks,
15/f

Not eating makes you gain more weight. My mom is a nutritionist, and I have also been researching about the matter. People who eat breakfast actually lose 3 times more weight than people who don't. Why? Because eating breakfast, something like a bagel with butter, oatmeal, or just a few pieces of toast, help to fill you up, so they prevent you from eating too much later in the day. Eating breakfast also helps you burn calories and fat faster, and boosts your metabolism.

As for the exercise, you are at a good starting point. Do what you can- 30 minutes of walking is great, and just in 30 minutes, it's possible to walk 2 miles. Start out slow with your abs, because you have to slowly build up stamina for that. Then, gradually, each night, you can increase your amount of situps. Oh, and situps don't make you lose weight-they just tone up on your stomach muscles but you probably already knew that.

Eating is critical to lose weight. If you don't eat, you won't have energy to work out. If you don't eat, your metabolism will drop, and you could actually gain MORE weight by not eating. Eat healthy foods, such as lean meats (turkey, chicken, etc.), carbohydrates, (bread, pasta, rice) and fruits & veggies. Also make sure you drink milk. Limiting junk food such as chips, and candy will help also.

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what kinds of shirt styles should i wear to make my arms/shoulders look skinnier?

Dark colored shirts are good. But you can wear almost any type of shirt if you accessorize right. For example, if you want to wear a short sleeve shirt, you can pair it with a coat, a blazer, a jacket, or a knitted overcoat. This makes anybody look slimmer-all over! You can also try a tunic, which is basically like a long shirt that often fits loosely over your arms.

Examples:

http://www.fivetone.com/images/product/726.jpg

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/2923180?refsid=176913&refcat=0%7e2376776%7e2374327%7e2374333%7e2374362&SourceID=1&SlotID=1&origin=related

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/2921617?Category=&Search=True&SearchType=keywordsearch&keyword=tunic+in+All+Categories&origin=searchresults

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