about

Hi I'm Dee. I'm 23 and married. I've worked in health care as well as office settings but am now a home-maker. I'm knowledgeable in a variety of subjects but don't mind doing a little research if asked about something I don't know about. Most of my friends come to me for advice. I read several advice columns and would like to help you also.

I'm not judgemental. Your life is yours to live it as you choose. I believe asking for advice is good, but ultimately the choice is yours. You WILL NOT find a hurtful or smartass answer here.

If you have a question that you would like to keep private, you can email me and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

advice

hello
how i can get online study material or online access to the books on the subject of library and info science.
thank you.

Your school or public librarian would be the best place to start. Because they've had the training, they would know the best places to find study material, both offline and online. They can also offer you information on the training required to get your degree.


You might also try finding schools that offer the library science program. Their websites will sometimes provide study links or book lists related to the courses.

[view]

I am 21 yrs old and have been dating this guy for 3&1/2 yrs now (started my senior year of highschool) and I love him very much, but for the last year or so Ive gotten to the point where I just don't know if I can see us together forever anymore (like all girls dream) and am wondering if I should stay or go. We have been getting into alot more fights, way more easily than before and most of them are due to the fact that he is obsessed with video games and puts them ahead of hanging out with me all the time. Lately, hes gotten into this new game that has quests with alot of people on certain days of the weeks; scheduled quests. And he decides to not hang out with me and play instead even though its a friday night which is one of my nights off (no college the next day or work). We rarely see each other the way it is this semester due to classes and work and homework that this is ruining my time with him and it bugs me how he doesn't care. Even when we do hang out, when I come over to his house I have to get him off his game and its hard work. I just don't feel like a priority anymore, and because of this I get angry easier and then make him mad and we get into fights. He thinks I nag on him too much and I think he doesn't prioritize me enough. I love him sooo much, hes very honest and true to me, but I'm to the point where I'm jealous of a game?! This just doesn't feel right. The only other thing (other than his good points) stopping me from breaking it off with him is the fact that we have a class together and i don't want to have this stuff affect my grades and I am very 'addicted' to him (i love him soo much and dont know how to live without him anymore). Should i stay With him? Should i break it off? If so, when? Thanks for any advice you can give me.

Have you tried playing the game with him or finding a game that you both enjoy? That would give you a chance to spend time together while he still gets to play.


Personally, I would sit down with him and calmly let him know how you feel. Try not to sound like you're accusing him as he'll be less likely to listen. Something to the effect of "Honey, I'm glad you've found a game you like, but I miss the time we used to spend together. Can we come to a compromise?" By making it an issue of quality time rather than the game and offering to compromise, he'll be more likely to agree.


Have you tried setting aside a time or day for the two of you to spend together? My husband works six days a week and goes out with his friends at least once a week. I was beginning to feel like I came in last in his life. Finally, we sat down and discussed it and came to the agreement that Sunday was our day. If anyone calls or comes over, we tell them we're busy. Neither of us go out.


If discussing it and trying to come to a compromise doesn't work, you may need to decide whether you're willing to continue the relationship as it is. If not, your only option may be to move on to find a guy that can find the time for you. Good luck!

[view]

I want everything in life. I want to grow maximize my career to the fulliest.
But i feel like im doing enough to, to show how smart i really iam. Im 13/f. My last report card was bad..I got straight C'S (which isnt really bad for a few grades but in every class, bad.) any suggestions on how to improve my grades, and all?

To figure out how to solve your problem, you need to get to the root of the problem first. Why are your grades low? Are you not studying enough? Do you not understand what's being taught? Do you have trouble remembering the details? Do you have too much going on so you don't have time to focus on your schoolwork?


If you're not studying enough, try to schedule study time daily. Once you get into a routine of studying at a certain time every day, it will get easier. Try to study in a place free of distractions. Turn off the tv and tell your family you don't wish to be disturbed unless it's an emergency. If studying at home isn't an option, try your local library. It's generally quiet and you'll have access to more information if you need it.


If you don't understand what's being taught, talk to your teacher. Most teachers will gladly give you extra help if you only ask. Another option is a tutor. If neither of these is an option, try asking someone that's doing good in the class if they'd be willing to help.


If your memory is the problem, try taking notes and writing down the things you need to know. Read through your notes daily. Sometimes reading your notes aloud will also help.


If your schedule is too full, see if there's something you can drop. If dropping something isn't an option, sit down and write out your schedule. If you can, do a couple different schedules to find the one that works best for you.

[view]

I've always loved to sing, but have only this year been in choir at my school( It's only offered in high school). I am a soprano, and I'd like to think that I'm a good singer. I recently fell in love with the Phantom of the Opera and opera music. And yesterday I was hit with the notion of becoming an opera singer now, or when I'm older. I'm fifteen years old, and have a pretty mature sounding voice. Any ideas of how I could fufill this dream?

First, I would suggest taking voice lessons if it's financially possible. The voice coach will work with you to bring your voice to its maximum potential. Try asking your choir director or checking your phone book to find one.


Second, keep singing. It sounds trite, but practice makes perfect. By continually singing, you're training your voice.


Third, go to the opera and listen to operas whenever possible. By exposing yourself to opera, you're teaching yourself as well.


Fourth, try to find musical acting groups in your area. Audition for parts if you feel comfortable. It's great experience.


Last, do some research or speak to your guidance counselor about schools that offer music programs. I think one of the earlier posters gave a list.

[view]

18/f. I was molested when I was little, and every once in a while feelings from that time surface and I get very upset and depressed. It's not so often - maybe once or twice in a year, but I don't want that time to keep haunting me for the rest of my life, I want to move beyond the past. Does anyone have any advice on how I can do that?

Have you spoken to anyone about what you experienced? If you haven't, it may help for you to do so. You can talk to a counselor toll-free 24/7 by calling 1-800-656-HOPE. It's completely confidential. They may be able to help you work through your feelings and refer you to more resources.


If you're not comfortable talking to someone, sit down and write a letter to the person who molested you. You don't have to send the letter, but it will often help just to get the feelings out.


I also second younggrandma's suggestion of speaking to your family doctor. They can refer you to someone who may be able to help.

[view]

can someone please tell me what the difference is between credit and debit? thanks.

If you're referring the cards, I think the other posters have explained it quite well. However, if you're referring to on a financial statement, it is different. A credit is money added to your account (ex:a deposit). A debit is money coming out of the account (ex:a check).

[view]

When i get older i want to do stuff like CSI, Forensic files, && Like find out who murder people. And you know its pretty much all scientiftic.
I need help to know what exactly I may need to know, like topics like chemistry? and stuff.
Any tips, on what i can do to know things about it.
I mean i watch the tv shows, all day, and stuff.. but any more tips to improve me, for when i really do go to college scince im young enough now to start paying better attention, to what i want.

For this type of work, you really need a good background in science and anatomy. Computer skills and psychology classes would also help. I would try talking to your guidance counselor at school to see what classes you might be able to take. Your guidance counselor may also be able to point you in the direction of special programs that can help you.


In addition, I would recommend calling your local law enforcement agency to speak to one of their workers in forensics. They'll be able to give you more detailed information on the qualifications needed in the field and may even offer assistance to help you reach your goal.


I have a few links for you to check out. On the second link, click resources->choosing a career for loads of information explaining the various career paths, training needed, etc.
http://www.profiling.org/
http://www.aafs.org/


Good luck with your dream. I wish you all the best.

[view]

do herbs really work? if they do which ones help with anxiety attacks or over-worrying

Different people react to herbal remedies in different ways. You may have to experiment with different herbs and formulas to find the one that's right for you. Try checking your local library for "New Encyclopedia of Herbs & Their Uses", "Encyclopedia of Herbal Medicine: The Definitive Home Reference Guide to 550 Key Herbs with all their uses as Remedies for Common Ailments", or "The Green Pharmacy: The Ultimate Compendium of Natural Remedies from the World's Foremost Authority on Healing Herbs." All of these books will give you information on various herbal remedies and how they work. You can also try your local health food or herbal store. The workers can generally point you in the right direction. As with any medicine, I highly suggest checking with your doctor before taking them. Some herbs can interact with medications or worsen certain conditions.

[view]

Ok, I'm a 13/f who LOVES helping out the community. I do community work all of the time and I mean I make brownies and other deserts for the hospitals and nursing homes, I do all of my chores and get good grades. BUT I'm not a dork or anything. I mean I go out with my friends on weekends that I'm not helping out with a commuity service project or something. And I have a million friends. And I mean I'm never really happy. But is being too happy, and too helpful a turn off for guys? Because I'm not ugly (I'm a model I can't be ugly) but I still have only had 2 boyfriends in my life. When like EVERYBODY else who I'm friends with has had like at least 10. I rate 5 to any answer. thanks, Samm

Perhaps you just haven't met the right guy. When I met my husband, he told me that one of the things that attracted him to me was the fact that I cared about other people. Like you, I was involved in community and volunteer work. Just keep doing what you're doing. You're still young and have plenty of time to find your Mr. Right. I didn't meet my husband until I was 22.

[view]

im 14/f and i have alot of guy friends and also girls friends but i dont know how to ask my mom if i can hangout with my guys friends im always afraid she gunna say no what should i do?

I had a lot of guy friends when I was younger. What always worked for me was inviting them over to my house so my parents could meet them a couple times. Because my parents had met the guys and talked to them a bit, they were more comfortable about letting me out of the house with them.

[view]

hey there!
im a girl scout and im at the point where i have to start thinking of ideas for my gold award. for those of you who dont know what the gold award is .. its a project that takes 65 hrs to complete(including planing, and actually doing it). it needs to benefit the community in some way. does anyone have anyideas what i could do?

p.s. the people participating are going to need some kind of motivation to do this.

If you're handy with research, why not try a living history project? Visit your local senior center or nursing home and talk to the people that were raised in your community or town. From experience, I can say they rarely get visitors who want to hear about "back then" and welcome the chance to talk about it. You'll learn a lot about your community while helping to brighten their day. Local historians will also thank you. If the stories aren't recorded in some way, they'll be lost forever. When you complete the project, it can be displayed in your school or town library. You can even use the research to write a book, which can be sold to benefit the seniors or even your girl scout group.


Another option is seeing if your local hospital has a candy striper program. If they don't, perhaps you can work with the hospital to set one up.

[view]

I'm a straight A student and I'm going to be graduating this year from middle school. I can't wait! The most difficult thing for me right now is choosing the high school I would like to attend next year. There are so many things I would love to try out for next year. For some clubs, I know I will definitely join. I love all these sports, track, hockey, lacrosse, basketball, and so forth... Some sports only have a boys' team which kind of stinks. I've noticed that a lot of people are in more than one club and more than one sport... and are still a straight A student. I'm just wondering... How can someone manage their time with all of this going on? -- Thank you.

Try to see if you can find out when each activity meets. Once you have a general idea of the times involved, you can see which ones you have time for. Don't forget to leave some time free for studying and personal time. Sit down and make a few sample schedules, then pick the one that works best for you.

[view]

[True Question.] 15/f
I`m scared of dying or anyone dying close to me. I asked this question:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=412887

And I`m doing really good about that situation. I can finally look at his picture without wanting to cry. But lately everytime my mind goes blank, death of my parents or sister or brother come into my mind. The thing that even freaks me out the most is that I know that they are doing to die sooner or later, & I can`t even try to stop it. I know i`d be miserable without them. I couldn`t even cope with the lost of my cousin, imagine trying to cope with my parents or sister/brother dying. No body knows I feel this way, and it`s eating me inside. What I`m trying to ask is how can I possibily get over this right now & worry about it later? I don`t want my fear of death running my life. Ughhh. I`m just so scared of this. Help. PLEASE.

It's common after the death of a loved one to have fears of losing another. My best friend passed away at the first of the year and I noticed that I got real clingy with my husband for a couple weeks, not wanting to let him out of my sight for fear something would happen.


Unfortunately, death is something that we'll all to deal with at some time in our lives. I've learned to cherish the time I have with my loved ones. Just try to take things one day at a time. If you let yourself worry about the "what if" you won't be able to focus on what's going on right now.


It sounds to me like you would benefit from talking to someone. It's not good to hold things in. Talk to your parents, a school counselor, a close friend, or your spiritual leader. If you don't feel comfortable talking, try simply writing down your feelings. There are several grief/loss support groups online that you can also try. I'm giving you a couple links.
http://www.griefnet.org/
http://www.hovforum.ipbhost.com/

[view]

im 13 and i got my period a week before my 12th birthday. my boobs didnt grow at all before that and they are supposed to grow dramatically and then still havent grown much at all im like a 32A and its been a year and 2 months since ive gotten my period..is somethign wrong or are my boobs just enver going to grow?

Not everyone's breasts grow right away. Give it some time. Your body has a few years of growing yet to do. If you're still uncomfortable about your level of growth, talk to your doctor. They can tell you for sure if you're growing at the correct pace.

[view]

ok there's an older country song & a girl sings it & it says about a guy that cheated er something and the girls singing something about 'she'll do that to you' not exact words but that's what its basically about. hoping that his new girl er w/e does that to him. idk i cant think of the song er artist.

thanks

I don't know exactly how old you mean by older but are you talking about Lesson in Leaving by Jo Dee Messina?
From the chorus:Somebody's gonna give you a lesson in leaving/Somebody's gonna give you back what you've been giving/And I hope that I'm around/To watch 'em knock you down

[view]

Next year, I'm going to college, and I am freaking out =(. I'm worried that it will be really hard and that I won't be able to maintain a 3.0 GPA (the requirement to keep my great scholarship effective). So a few questions.
1. Is college really hard? How much time would you say do you have any free time (meaning not having to study, go to college, or work)?
2. Is maintaining a 3.0 possible? (not only possible, but probable?)
3. Are teachers/professors as understanding/nice as high school teachers, or are they "down to business and won't take any crap"? (lol)

Thank you!! Please add any other things that I should know (besides not partying hard and stuff like that..I know)

I remember how stressed I was before going to college. It's a new experience so it's common to be nervous.


1) It varies. A lot depends on what type of courseload you're taking. Try to keep an even balance between difficult and easier classes. The more difficult classes usually require more studying and work outside the classrom. You don't want to overload yourself. By keeping a balance, I was able to have some free time for myself nearly every day.


2) Yes, it is probable if you work for it.


3) Some are, some aren't. In my experience, if you have a situation come up and discuss it with them, they will generally work with you. However, you will come across some that are all business and expect your work to be done on time without complaint.


Other tips-
*Get to know your academic advisor well. They'll be the ones that help you plan your academic schedule. They're also the one you need to talk to if you're having problems.
*Invest in a dayplanner and use it. I used mine to write down assignments that were given in class. After classes, I would sit down and schedule the rest of the day for studytime, homework, me time, etc.
*Make friends with your classmates. This gives you the opportunity to easily make study groups as well as someone to help you catch up if you have to miss a class.
*Don't study during meals. There are several reasons for this. First, you'll easily gain the freshman 15 by not paying attention to how much you're eating. Second, the cafeteria is generally noisy, which makes studying difficult. Last, it gives you a much-needed break.
*If you live in a dorm, try to find others that are in your classes or majoring in the same thing. It gives you easy access to a study partner and someone to ask if you have a question about the coursework.
*Find the library and befriend the librarians. This will be invaluable to you when you're doing work that requires research. Also, it gives you a quiet place to study.

[view]

Does anyone know what programs are out there to cut up videoes to make them smaller so you can post them online? I didnt know what to look for. even if you could tell me what to put into google to look...thinks and sorry if it was confusing.

It sounds like you need some video editing software. You can visit http://www.download.com/ and do a search for video editing. If you're looking for free software, do the search and then scroll to the bottom of the page to the filter options and change "all licenses" to "free" and click update.


Make sure the video you're using is either yours or public domain. You don't want to end up in legal hot water for using video you're not authorized to use.

[view]

ok, me and my friend took the new york specialized high school admissions test, or SHSAT. My friend also auditioned for LaGuardia. I passed the SHSAT and made it into a specialized hs, while my friend didnt pass the test OR make laguardia. I feel really bad, and I cant really comfort her becuase I made it in. She really wanted to get into a specialized hs...what can I do to comfort her?

I ran into a similar problem when I was younger. My best friend and I both applied to a prestigious advanced high school. My friend immediately got in while I got put on the waiting list. My friend sat down with me and told me that no test could show what a great person I was and the school was the one that was going to miss out. She also told me that no matter what, our friendship would survive. I did make it off the waiting list and was accepted before the term started, but the fact that she put her own excitement aside to comfort me meant more.


Is re-taking the test an option? If so, you could work on helping your friend prepare for the test.

[view]

what kinds of perfumes do guys like on girls?
do guys even pay attention to stuff like that?
i am just wondering because i really like this guy who is one of my friends and we bump into eachother a lot (literally) in the halls. and i think he likes me back so i was just wondering if there was a cheap type of perfume that he would like. i wear victoria's secret forever romance or adidas moves for her. any advice would be helpful! i'll rate 5's!

btw : we are both in 8th grade (14 yrs old)

I think it varies by the guy. Short of asking him, there's really no way to be sure. One guy I dated said he preferred no scent at all. My hubby loves when I wear vanilla scents.


My suggestion would be to wear what pleases you as long as it's not too strong or overpowering. If a perfume makes you feel good, it will show in your confidence. After all, the guy will be dating you, not your perfume.

[view]

what r the symtoms of pregnancy? plz answer my best friend's girlfriend is saying she's pregnant but we arnt sure she's telling the truth

Generally, the first sign is a missed period. It may be accompanied by nausea, breast tenderness or changes, frequent urination, mood swings, and being more tired than usual. One thing to remember about morning sickness is that it's not a completely accurate term. Pregnant women can get sick any time of the day. I got sick all day and night myself. I would suggest your friend's girlfriend either take a home pregnancy test or see her health care provider to be tested. If she is pregnant, it's important that she starts prenatal care ASAP.
http://www.coolnurse.com/pregnancy.htm

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker