"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." - Audrey Hepburn
I came to this site for advice about a man and love. That very question turned my entire world around and I have had my eyes opened to things I never noticed before.
I've stayed here so that I can share the knowledge I do have. I know I'm not changing the world but I do hope that I spark others to open their eyes.
"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." - Oscar Wilde
So, if you learn something from what I say then repeat it to someone else who can use it.
I hope that if you see an answer of mine that you enjoy it will inspire you to go out of your way to give good, solid information. Provide links for further information, detail your responses, encourage people to seek out professionals when it's needed, and stop sugar-coating responses and just say the truth.
I hope that even if you absolutely hate my answer that it'll kick start your brain. Hopefully you'll begin taking your time to respond instead of hurried answers that are useless to an already confused person.
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost
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Member Since: October 12, 2007
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i don't know what it is... i've tried virtually everything .... went to a counselor and all....
but yeah i am not sure what is wrong with me......... i am having difficulties describing what i am feeling... depression anxiety fear paranoia panic loneliness claustrophobia phobia of being alone! i don't know i am mixed up! its all together... please can anyone help? (link)
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I also suggest that you change your daily routine; however, I suggest you become more involved with the people around you.
Make your life meaningful.
Many people seem to be having this sort of problem now and I truly think that it's because we have lost the right path in life.
I don't mean this to be bad but I'm not sure how to put it: you need to start focusing on other people other than yourself all of the time. If you make your time useful and helpful to others, you will gain a sense of care about yourself. You will soon realize that you HELP others and that other people need and appreciate you.
Many people now are so busy with their own lives that they lose sight of what it is to be loving and caring. You see, knowing that you are helping others does great things for the self-imagine. You soon realize that you aren't useless and just a blob of flesh bobbing along through life.
It really seems that the problem is our current lifestyles. We no longer "have time" to help others. Nobody volunteers now because they feel that they should be paid money for their time. Nobody goes out of their way to show care for others because that time could be used for something else. Both of these are common and we're taught (it's drilled into our heads) that we are the most important in our lives. This is not true at all: the people surrounding us are the most important.
The people who surround you create your sense of belonging though. Those people help you to see yourself as useful. Those people are the ones that can show care back for you. Without those people, you aren't anything anymore.
The media keeps telling us to only worry about ourselves. Sure, it's find to tend to your own needs--but what happens when everyone is too busy with themselves? What happens when everyone stops worrying about caring for others? They become depressed, wondering why they don't belong somewhere and why they feel lost in society. That is what is happening to you, most likely, whether you realize it now or not.
What's strange is the more we focus on ourselves and stop helping others, the less we feel good about ourselves. As humans, we NEED interaction. We NEED acceptance. We NEED to know we are important in life. Most of all though, we desperately NEED to help others to gain all of that plus more.
I highly suggest that you stop focusing on yourself. Yes, still continue to get help but try to put your excess time/energy/efforts into others. Find places to volunteer regularly at.
You need to make more of your life. By giving to others, you are creating your sense of worth. You will soon realize that YOU DO make a difference and that people appreciate and care about you. You will realize that when you have to skip a volunteer day for a doctor's appointment that many of the people you have been helping will ask what happened to you--Ah-hah, there's your sense of belonging! You will begin to realize that being involved with the care of others can be very fulfilling spiritually.
Spend time at soup kitchens helping the hungry, volunteer at shelters, visit the elderly in homes so they're not as lonely (not everyone has visitors and just about everyone has neat stories to tell), read Bible passages to younger children, volunteer at local animal shelters, donate your time to what needs you, and do whatever you can with that time. You may even consider doing random acts of kindness:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=546646
If you feel like you don't have time now--make time. Alter your daily schedules to fit a few hours in for volunteering. Instead of being on the computer for an hour, log in only for 15 minutes and do what you NEED to do. Instead of sitting at home for dinner every day, take one day a week to eat at the soup kitchen after volunteering there.
Focus on who needs you. In essence, this is all for YOU so this is important. Helping others will help you.
I suggest you grab a phone book and make a few calls. Sit down with a calendar and set up one or more days a week to volunteer your time at certain places. Don't stress yourself out trying to fit things into busy schedules, but move things around so that your schedule won't be hectic but will have the fulfilling volunteer time in it.
It isn't your fault that you feel this way. You have just been fooled all of these years into believing that you are number one. Relax and focus on taking time for others and you will eventually find what is missing, trust me.
After awhile these problems may fade off completely. First your depression and anxiety will fade. You will find comfort in the people you are helping and will not be lonely any longer. You will relax in stressful situations because you know you are needed and that you will make the right decision. In time, you will be better.
I hope you take my advice and improve your life before things get worse. If you have any further questions regarding this subject please feel free to ask me!
P.S. Anywhere you volunteer your time at, you will happily fit in :) I promise, you'll see.
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Girl who didn't live with her father?
lets say a girl doesnt have a father, or he left her or whatever reason right? and her mom only takes care of her when she grows up does anything changes her love life? cause i heard if a girl didnt live with the father goes for older men to search for a lost father's love or something like that does anyone know any facts about this? (link)
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My father was constantly away on business trips when I was younger. He wasn't actually "HOME" until I was pretty close to 10 years old and, even then, he was not active in my life. Other than that, I saw him on weekends (but he came home very late at night on friday and left very early in the morning on monday) and saw him when he had a nervous break-down, between jobs.
My male role model, which was an uncle of mine, was not there either, and when he was he was not doing anything a father should do. He was not a good person and had no care for me. I saw him on weekdays, usually if my mother needed a babysitter. I spent a lot of time with him when I was VERY young because my parents couldn't afford a real babysitter and both of them were working. The time grew shorter, as I grew older, when I started school and after my mother eventually quit her job due to a back injury. The time I did spend with him I was with him trying to NOT be near him because he was very mean and I did not like him at all.
I am now 21 and am happily dating a man that is 38. The age difference is pretty large but I am incredibly happy--for many reasons other than the age, mind you. We've been dating for almost a year and he has taught me a lot. Some things he has had to teach me were things I should have learned when I was younger.
I don't know facts, but I know it has pretty much happened to me. My father was constantly gone and the only male figure I had in my life was pretty cruel to me. I can rely on my boyfriend, and he shows me all of the time how much he cares for me.
Everything you experience changes your future, especially when you are very young. If all men in your life were evil to you then you may develop a fear of men. If your mother was neglectful then you may not attach to women and have little to no female friends. If you were always picked on, severely, when you were little then you may steer away from making friends altogether and become a loner in every aspect of your life--even your dream occupation may be that of someone who must work alone for long hours. Just like if you're taught that sex snags a good man--you will eventually believe that if it's drilled in your head enough and by the time your life has ended you've had sex with nearly 300 men looking for love.
In short, it could happen that way but not always. I've heard the same thing from a few people and it has related to my personal life, but may not relate to every girl who has been in a similar situation.
I hope I helped give you a little feedback on your question. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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Well i go out alot and i usually go with a guy..
but for some reason i usually always end up paying for the guy and myself.. and i don't mind sometimes but all the time..? or just myself ..
i geuss it depends on the guy i choose but you as a girls.. does your man or "guy friend" pay for you or you pay for yourself? (link)
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I've been with guys who didn't pay for anything. It didn't work out with them for various reasons. I also noticed that these guys all seemed less caring of me and more feminine than manly.
My sweetie of a boyfriend pays for everything, everywhere we go. :) He also holds doors open for me and will help me in and out of cars. It's super nice that he helps me sit when we go out to dinner--pulling out my seat to me and gently sliding it up so I can get comfortable easily. He even did all of this before we actually started dating. I have gathered that I've snagged one of the few of these sorts of real men ;)
Maybe I'm a little old fashioned, but I think that's how things should be. Men are men and women are women and our roles, especially in dating, shouldn't be jumbled up. It leads to a lot of confusion, frustration, mixed signals, and embarrassment. Back years ago we didn't have to ask questions like this--we knew who was paying and that if it wasn't acceptable for the man to pay then we didn't go out to that specific place. We knew our roles as females.
A problem you may be facing is this:
Are you asking these guys out?
If you ask someone out, typically you are expected to pay. This is why only men asked women out years ago--things went smoother and there wasn't so much confusion. So, if you are asking your friends out then they are simply understanding the invitation as you are paying for them. If I invite one of my friends (though they are all female but in this day and age I suppose the males of today would apply to this situation) out to lunch then I know I am expected to pay for their lunch too. If there was a problem and I suddenly could not pay I would tell my friend before going out with her so she knew that she was then expected to buy her own lunch and would have the opportunity to suggest another place or another time.
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Ok, so really everyone does weed at least once in their life. Even if it's just a hit. I smoke weed, not alot but enough. But theres this girl who is best friends with one of my like really good friends, and she hates me cause i smoke weed, but it's my life. I dont make other people smoke or anything. She just hates me. Idk what to say to her now, i wanna talk to her but i dont wanna make her hate me even more. What should i do? (link)
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[EDITED TO ADD: I understand what you meant by the sentence now, but all of the below still fully applies. If weed isn't your life now, it will be if you don't stop. You may not see it now, and you may not see it then.]
You simply need to see her perspective before you can figure out how to deal with the situation. I understand that you want to be on good terms with her, and that's a super good thing to want really.
See, even if you don't pressure anyone to smoke weed, you are being a role model. Your friends hear about you smoking weed, or see you smoking weed, and feel that it must be acceptable. Your friends do not believe you'd make bad choices so they think you must know all about it. I'm sure you've gotten a few questions from your peers before about how weed makes you feel and such. ;) See what I'm saying?
Weed is your life. You even said it: "...she hates me cause i smoke weed, but it's my life." That is a really big problem though. Your friends are not as important as weed is in this very statement that you make. That's is a problem. You see, you are turning to weed for "fun" and entertainment and bringing down your friends with you. What ever happened to getting with some good pals and going roller-blading for the evening--not stoned so you can clearly remember the joy you have? It's really that simple. Your friends see you doing it and feel it's okay--so they slowly began to "try" it here and there.
Not everyone has smoked weed in their lifetime. Sure, I'm fairly young, but I've never had the urge to go out and smoke weed. Sure, I had a friend or two who did (and who are fried out to the max, you wouldn't believe it, man) but I stayed away from opening up to them. I knew they were bad news and I knew that if I got too close to them that they would suck me into the drug too. I know of many people who never smoked weed--but you know what? Those people are actually doing something with their lives.
Your friend's friend has every right to disapprove of you. You can hurt her friend terribly by just being friends with her. The closer that friend gets to you, the more likely she is to feel smoking weed is acceptable and began doing it herself.
Weed is a drug that you start off with. It doesn't seem like much but down the road you start looking for other ways to get a high or a good buzz going. My cousin started smoking weed when some life trauma happened--he later told me these very words: "Man, I've tried every drug I could get my hands on." What's even more scary is that his friends have done the exact same thing--and you ask how he got started with weed in the first place? Well, one of his close buddies started it--who had a close buddy who started it--who had a close buddy who started it. So, yes, it honestly is a gateway drug that becomes a black hole, sucking people who get too close.
So, the first problem that you need to figure out is this:
Weed is your life.
Make weed not your life. Sure, it sounds simple, but it takes a lot if you still plan on smoking every now and again. You simply have to cut everyone out and smoke it up as much as you desire or change and hide the fact that you do. That means you stop talking about it, doing it with people, smelling like it, acting like you're stoned, answering questions about it, etc.
I highly suggest you discontinue the use of the drug, but I know it tends to take a lot to get a stoner to stop. I know all the reasons why it's "good" and why it should be legal in the US. I know it's "not" addictive and you can just stop whenever you want. I know all of the "facts" and that "weed never killed anybody" (which is a laughing matter in itself).
I had a cousin who was taken away from his life because of weed--he use to be smart and an overall great guy--then after doing weed for a little while (~1 year), he couldn't remember his own home phone number--WHICH NEVER CHANGED SINCE HE WAS BORN! He seriously looked at the number ###-6011 and said, "I know that number from somewhere. Is it my lunch number? No...that can't be it...hmm...Hey, do you all know where I know this number from? I don't remember." He was serious with a dead serious look on his face when we had to tell him that it was the number to his house and had been for a good 16 years, if not more. I wish I was making this up!
His girlfriends slowly started to "try" it. The people who really wanted to be his friend (because he was, at one point, very nice and intelligent) ended up using with him because his time was consumed of weed. He talked about it, smelled of it, had charms of it, laughed about it, came to school a little high every now and again, and always wanted to "party" in his free time. You could NOT be friends with this guy unless you used too--that is what it came down to!
My cousin is now 22. He goes from house to house until they make him leave because he can't even hold down a job at Wendy's. He smokes weed. You call him up when you want to "party" with him. He doesn't do anything but lay around, reek of weed, and laugh all day. He has nothing going for him. He has broken veins all over his face. He isn't so smart anymore and if it came down to having a joint or saving someone's life he'd very much choose the high, claiming that he figured the person couldn't find a way out of the life/death situation. He no longer thinks things through. His friends do the exact same thing though. They all tried to work at Wendy's. They go to one friend's house (with their parents) to the other's, until the parents get fed up and make them leave.
My cousin, at one point, had a brother who was 33. He was dying of cancer (lung cancer that spread to the brain, liver, pancreas, and I think a kidney). The cousin was on morphine for the pain, naturally. His brother (the druggie cousin) calls one evening and says, "Hey, we're going to get kicked out of the place here. We don't have any money now. Can you get us some?" What's weird is they had just got a decent chunk of money (~600) the week before for rent. They had blown it on drugs because they wanted to "party" with a bunch of friends they met in Virginia! So, what does his dying brother do? He illegally sells his morphine, goes a good week in severe pain, and sends his brother some cash--that he does the SAME THING WITH! I mean, how selfish can you get for WEED?!
So, yes, that is why the girl does not like you. It isn't your attitude--it's your lifestyle. She is worried about her friend because she is a good friend and cares. She may have even seen you be pulled in from another person or witnessed people get pulled in by you. I mean, all you have to do is answer a few questions about why weed is oh-so-good and people get curious and wonder if it really is.
So, my suggestion:
Stop smoking weed.
If anything, you'll smell better :) seriously. Weed has an awful odor that sticks to your clothes and will seep out of your pores (which is natural for the body to be releasing toxins from the pores) and it really gives you a very unpleasant odor.
I know you won't and you'll make every reason up why you shouldn't, but you really should. That honestly is the only way this will be completely resolved.
I hope you listen and you realize why some people are very much against allowing you into their lives. Please reconsider what you've been doing to yourself. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me :)
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I have two Bettas, one make and one female. They have a fairly large tank, considering that they're small fish. I had a divider that separated them from each other, but today when I was cleaning their tank I decided to leave it out. A few minutes ago, for the first time I fed them together. The male hasn't looked so good since I got them about a month ago. The female seems to be really possessive and doesn't let the male eat. She goes as far as to fill her mouth with the TOP FIN Betta Bits even if she can't eat it all. I know that they are fish.. and they can't be trained and whatnot... haha. However, if anyone can tell me why this is then I'd appreciate it. (link)
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You really need to separate your Betta fish again. They do not need to be together. They do not live this way naturally.
Bettas' natural habitat is actually in rice patties in Asia. The rice patties are shallow and usually murky so there isn't much room for them to swim around in, let alone be together in. I've read that they have even been found living fine and dandy in small bits of water similar to puddles! This being said, they do not do well when meeting another Betta.
Bettas are very territorial and will kill each other. People who breed these fish have to be very careful on the timing of this so that their fish do not end up both dead--from fighting each other. They will fight to the death and, usually, if one successfully kills the other it will not be alive long because of the wounds it will have sustained.
Bettas will even attack other fish's fins if they are tanked with them. They are fragile fish themselves; however, they are drawn to the fins of other fish if they are "flowy" like theirs are. They can really be vicious little creatures.
Typically, one Betta will kill the other after breeding takes place if they are not separated. The male becomes extremely aggressive after mating and will literally attack the female so she leaves quickly. Bettas were simply not made to be together. They are solitary and are happy that way.
Even if the Bettas do not kill each other, the situation is very stressful for them both and will shorten their life expectancy. Usually one will chase the other, trying to get them away from THEIR home, and this alone can cause an immense amount of stress on the fish.
To breed bettas there is a period of conditioning them, introducing them, watching closely as they mate, removing the female immediately, making sure the male takes care of the fry, making sure they're all fed properly. It's a pretty intense process, and is only done successfully after quite a few times.
Regarding breeding these beautiful fish:
"The courtship can get rough with a lot of chasing and nipping, resulting in some torn fins [which can lead to the death of the fish]. When the couple is ready to spawn they will swim up to the bubble nest and entwine their bodies. The male will squeeze the female to release her eggs, which he fertilizes. He quickly gathers the fallen eggs with his mouth and places them into the nest.
After mating is completed the male will guard and care for the eggs, chasing away all comers including the female."
Take from: http://www.bettafish.name/Siamese_Fighting/breeding_betta_splendens.html
Please separate your fish back out. They simply were not meant to be paired together. They are not and will not be happy and healthy.
Please take the time to research pets before putting them in a risky situation. These fish have been separated for a reason, and special takes with dividers are made specifically for them. Please think about things like this next time so you don't end up with 2 dead fish.
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me.
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I'm a pro photographer and I was going to do some "insane asylum" shots of people, but I need to get me and my models to watch these movies, so they'll know how to move, and what kind of attitude to have.
So can anyone recommend a good movie focusing around insane asylums, or psycho houses, or mental institutions?
(link)
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I highly recommend the movie Twelve Monkeys, when the character that Brad Pitt plays enters for the first time. He is so believable that sometimes I really do believe he's looney and that it takes him a lot of effort to seem normal (or as normal as actors and actresses are).
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest is also said to be good so I highly recommend it as well.
Girl, Interrupted is really a so-so for this sort of thing. Some of the people the main character interacts with are very believable; however, the main two females of the movie aren't very convincing as severe crazies. The lesser characters may give you some neat ideas on different attitudes though since they aren't as OUT THERE as you would imagine most insane people are.
You may be able to make a short visit to a local psych-ward if you call ahead of time. I know that some nursing students visit there a few times a year if their group is fairly small. I would definately call a good time ahead of time and speak to the head nurses to see if it would be feasible to visit for 10 or 15 minutes.
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How would I go about contacting Disney?
I cannot find the Disney email address, mailing address, and it seems like there isn't a place to submit fan-art or general fan-mail (online or otherwise). What about an address to mail to receive autographed photographs or merchandise?
Could someone please help me out? (link)
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The Walt Disney Company is the third largest media and entertainment corporation in the world. As you can imagine, things are pretty private and they don't throw around mailing addresses, phone numbers, and email addresses.
Request Autographed Pictures (Characters or Executives!):
The Walt Disney Company
Attn: Fan Mail Dept.
500 South Buena Vista Street
Burbank, CA 91521
You could, alternatively, send your favorite photo of a character from a specific show to them to have it signed and returned. This could be things like Kevin, Joe, or Nick Jonas from The Jonas Brothers since they have an up-and-coming television series on Disney called J.O.N.A.S! and the current Disney television hit-show Jonas Brothers: Living the Dream.
Walt Disney World Info/Guest Letters/Letters to Mickey Mouse:
P.O. Box 10040
Lake Buena Vista, FL 32830-0040
I am certain that these fan letters are not only to Mickey Mouse. If I were you, I would feel free to write to any disney princess (Snow White, Cinderella, Aurora, Ariel, Belle, Jasmine, Mulan, Pocahontas), Mickey Mouse friends (Donald Duck, Daisy, Pluto, Minnie Mouse, Goofy) Winnie the Pooh character (Pooh, Eeyore, Piglet, Rabbit, Owl, Christopher Robin, Kanga & Roo), characters from any original Disney chartoon (Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers, Woody Woodpecker, DuckTales, TaleSpin, Darkwing Duck, Goof Troop, Disney's Adventures of the Gummi Bears, etc.), or charactes from any original Disney animated movie (Pinocchio, Dumbo, Bambi, Peter Pan, Lilo and Stitch, The Lion King, Alice in Wonderland, The Brave Little Toaster, etc).
You could always send some compliments, complaints, and suggestions for them here, especially if you want to request they have a special address for a specific thing (such as a specific famous character or group like The Cheetah Girls):
Walt Disney World Guest Communications
P.O. Box 10000
Lake Buena Vista, FL 32830-1000
You can always send mail to the Disney Channel, and anyone in particular that may work/be there that you'd like to send mail to:
[Name if Applicable]
Disney Channel
3800 W. Almeda Ave.
Burbank, CA 91505
Send Emails to Disney / Disney World below. Feel free to ask them any questions, especially about specific addresses to send certain things to if I missed it somewhere:
https://secure.disney.go.com/wdw/contact/contactUs
&
http://home.disney.go.com/guestservices/contact
Here is a couple of lists of phone numbers that may be helpful in the future if you plan on going to Disney World and need some more information, reservations, or special accomodations:
http://www.explorethemagic.com/disney-world-contact.asp
&
http://www.hiddenmickeys.org/Contacts.html
An online Disney Fan Club is right here, for free sign-up:
http://www.disneyfanclub.org/
Remember that if there is a specific character on a show that you would like to write, they may have a fan club just for them. Take for example Miley Cyrus from the Hannah Montana show. She has her own official fan club and website devoted to her ( http://www.mileyworld.com/community/home ).
If, by chance, you need to actually write to an official Disney executive or such, then this link may be helpful in finding their address:
http://allears.net/pl/contact.htm
Lastly, the generic email address you can write to and get responses from is:
wdw.guest.communications@disneyworld.com
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14/f
Hey so my hair isn't exactly short. But it isn't long either. And I want it long, Well longer than i have it now. I've gotten clip on hair extensions but they didn't work out for me. They fell out and were uncomfortable and got ruined easily. I asked my mom about the glue-on ones but she wasnt too sure about that. So I know this is going to sound crazy but i'm just wondering if there are any like, I don't know shampoo's or some kind of hair product that makes hair longer? I haven't gotten and hair cut in a long time cause i'm trying to hard to grow my hair out but it just WONT GROW! My mom says my hair has always been like that:\ So yeah if you could help me out that would be great! Thanks(: (link)
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To strengthen hair, you'll need to purchase some products (shampoos, conditioners, etc) to apply to the hair shaft itself.
A good multivitamin might be the place to start for making hair grow longer and healthier. Here is a list of specific vitamins and minerals you're going to want to take though:
* Vitamin A
* Vitamin C
* Vitamin E
* Biotin
* Inositol
* Niacin (Vitamin B3)
* Pantothenic Acid (Vitamin B5)
* Vitamin B6
* Vitamin B12
# Calcium
# Chromium
# Copper
# Iodine
# Iron
# Magnesium
# Manganese
# Potassium
# Selenium
# Silica
# Sulfur (methyl-sulfonyl-methane or MSM)
# Zinc
From:
http://hairloss.about.com/od/preventinghairloss/a/Vitamins.htm
&
http://hairloss.about.com/od/preventinghairloss/a/Minerals.htm
To strengthen your hair you should buy shampoos, conditioners, and leave-in conditioners that include pro-vitamin B5 (also referred to as panthenol). It helps to heal your hair, recovering it from split-ends. It may also help to thicken the hairs if they are thinning and breaking, making it shorter.
Remember that leave-in conditioners are your friend when it comes to dyed, dry, and damaged hair. Also, try to use products that help to protect against heat products if you are a user of blowdriers, curling irons, and even straighteners. Protecting your hair will allow it to be long and not break off easily so make sure you take good care of it.
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A few months ago, i wrote on here about my mixed family.( I married my high school sweetheart after we both had previous relationships and children from them. Her kids were absolutly wild, never punished for anything in their life, just completely wreckless) Now my worst fears have come to reality and i am now facing a teen pregnancy with the youngest of my step daughters. Of course she is hysterical about the situation and wants to get an abortion. I am entirely against that and would never let my sons think that this is a way out of this kind of situation. her mom (my wife) is saying that she can do whatever she needs to do. Do i allow her to have the abortion or make her own up too her mistake? (link)
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I know this is very late; however, I am hoping that there was nothing drastic done yet (ie: abortion).
This girl does not need to have an abortion. You need to educate her on what abortion can do to her and what it is. She needs the information NOW so she knows it is a very bad decision.
Please read my full response to this question:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=541168
My answer is located near the bottom. You may suggest your step-daughter read the response, check out the links, and watch the videos.
Women who have had abortions can experience problems later on. Many women suffer from major depression for years after having an abortion because, in the end, they come to realize that they have completely stopped another human life. The dates of conception, abortion, and the estimated day the child would have been born haunts many women for years. Some woman can't deal with this so much that they end up committing suicide. If that isn't enough, many women experience difficulty conceiving years later after an abortion--yes, it can render a woman infertile for the rest of her days.
This is not something to take lightly. Parents need to guide their children in life and help them learn enough to make responsible, healthy decisions. This girl is, understandably, upset but does not have a good amount of knowledge to make this sort of decision or she would not be in this situation.
Please sit down and talk with your wife so she realizes how serious this issue may be. The future of two lives are at stake--you could be left with a zombie-like (or postitute-ish) young teenager and an innocent soul murdered.
The girl is not able to make a responsible decisions, obviously. Please take care of her and your family. Your family can survive through this if you all stick to making it through it and helping each other.
I hope an abortion has not occurred and does not occur, and I hope your family grows healthier each day. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me.
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I had sex and my hymen broke i believe. But i only bled for 2 days, and i was in some pain but it wasn't pain like my period. My period last normally for 5-6 days. It wasn't a lot of bleeding but it wasn't just spotting either. Is that normal? (link)
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In short, it doesn't matter if you bleed when your hymen is broken or not--your period is not affected by such. A lot of women experience late periods after losing their virginity because they begin to stress over a possible pregnancy, thus delaying the period a few days.
The hymen usually has a small hole in it as it is. A hymen is made of very thin tissue and it is fairly easy to tear or stretch. It's located at the entrance to the vagina so, actually, it isn't inside of the vagina. The hole is there to allow menstrual blood to escape the body and is usually too small to accommodate an entire penis to enter the vagina without being stretched.
If you do have vaginal intercourse and you do not completely break/tear your hymen it will stretch out and create a larger hole, just as your vagina will naturally stretch out to accommodate the penis. Some hymens are elastic enough to permit a penis to enter without tearing, or they will tear only partially, and there may be no bleeding at all.
The blood that comes out of your body during your menstruation is actually the lining of your uterus being expelled because of an unfertilized egg. Your body does this, in short, to rid itself of the waste (egg that can no longer be used). Losing your virginity has nothing to do with this part really and you should still be experiencing your regular cycle (maybe a few days off because of the stress of worry).
Bleeding for a short period time over your torn hymen is nothing to be concerned over; however, two days is a little much. The bleeding has NOTHING to do with your normal period though. The bleeding you experienced is not considered a period at all.
It's normal to bleed when a party of your body is torn, but it isn't typical to bleed for two days. You may want to see a doctor to make sure you do not have an internal injury.
Your period should come on time, just like usual.
I hope you become better informed of your body. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me :)
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hi
i was wondering if its safe to put a tampon in your vagina before you actually get your period? like if its safe. my sis wants to know wether its safe or not so plz answer this question! (link)
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No, it is definately not safe at all. Tampons aren't safe anyway actually, but moreso when you're not on your period. You increase risk so of toxic shock syndrome dramatically if you aren't on your period.
I definately recommend pads for your menstrual cycle. Pads can be worn during light days, heavy days, and even simple discharge days. Tampons can only be worn during your actual period or your risk of Toxic Shock Syndrome increases dramatically. You also do not need to worry about waking in the middle of the night to change your pad if you're not a heavy bleeder; however, with tampons they MUST be changed every 6 - 8 hours or bacteria will multiply so quickly it can cause some severe problems.
Symptoms of TSS include high fever, vomiting or diarrhea, severe muscle aches, a feeling of extreme weakness or dizziness, and a rash that looks like a sunburn. If you ever have these symptoms while wearing a tampon, remove it and tell an adult immediately. Have someone take you to the nearest emergency room as soon as possible.
When I tried tampons I ended up passing out over and over again within seconds of insertion. My body was obviously screaming at me that something was terribly wrong although nothing was painful at all. I often wonder if some other women have experienced this and thought it was normal because it definately is not okay to experience. I really believe it dramatically shocked my body and that's why I passed out.
My first gynecologist I had actually told me that tampons increased my risk of cancer. My mother had cancer before in her vagina area and was told to NEVER wear tampons again because if there is any cancerous cells in there it will irritate them and cause them to begin multiplying if they aren't already. My mother was also told to tell her female children this too since we are higher risk for that sort of cancer. I asked my first gynecologist about it and he definately recommended not using tampons because of the increase cancer risk.
The longer you leave a tampon in, the higher risk of TSS you are taking. Bacteria begin to grow in the warm, moist environment of your vagina. These bacteria can grow within the tampon, enter the body from inside the vagina, then invade the bloodstream, releasing toxins that can cause a very severe, life-threatening illness.
Tampons also pull a bit of your vaginal lining out when being removed, believe it or not. This is why many women who use tampons aren't as sensitive as they once were inside of their vaginas and why many tampon-users suffer from yeast infections and bacterial vaginosis. The tampon also can leave particles behind from it, causing bacteria and yeast to grow on it. Another case is that women are frequently needing to purchase personal lubricant for sexual activities because their bodies have stopped producing enough natural lubricant to engage in such activities without problems.
The ripping of your flesh and leaving particles of material behind cannot be avoided when using tampons and could very well be why you experience discomfort with removal. I would be big money on that being the reason it is painful to remove tampons from your body. This will not go away until you become somewhat desensitized down there--and what woman truly wants that?! Please consider switching products for your own health and safety.
Here are some good websites about why women should stay clear of tampon-usage. Theses sites are pretty darn interesting:
http://www.thekeeperstore.com/dangers-tampons/
http://www.thebody.com/content/art497.html
http://www.earthisland.org/journal/tampons.html
http://www.frontiernet.net/~ruthb/Tampons.html
As a very last note, you may want to check out menstrual cups. You can safely wear a menstrual cup any time during your cycle--period or no period. Here is a link to a question about some and my answer is pretty thorough when explaining them:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=533850
I hope I answered your question thoroughly and you take good care of your body. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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15/f
do you think its weird for someone to "brush up" on conversation topics before leaving the house, for ex: spending time looking it up on the internet or watching the show that everybody likes.
the idea sounds a little unsettling to me. i want to do it, to get over my shyness, but it feels like brushing up on conversation topics is like going out of your way for others to like you. (link)
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I think everyone should do this.
If you don't have knowledge about a topic that someone is interested in then you're not going to have a decent conversation. This is why we have newspapers, CNN, local news stations, and the like. We have to keep up on what is happening around us because others are interested in it too and it makes for good conversation because of that.
When people say, "we ended up talking about the weather," it's because they couldn't make decent conversation, and it's because EVERYONE knows about the weather. It becomes daily common knowledge so it's easy to conversate about it; although, it isn't pleasing because it's uninteresting, for the most part. If that is all you have to talk about (and you're both not weather forecasters or something around those lines) then it shows disinterest in the person and their likes/dislikes.
Some people do not need to "brush up" because they already know about what the person is interested in. If someone is always talking about hunting and you know all about hunting, fishing, and guns, and you have been doing it for years, then there is probably no need to "brush up" before engaging in a conversation.
However, if you're put into that same situation and you have never left the city, never even seen a gun in real life, and think you could never place a bullet or arrow into a living being, then you're either going to have to education yourself for a conversation or simply don't communicate at all. You cannot just pull interesting, decent information out of thin air ;)
People are interested in all sorts of things. Once you figure out what they like to talk about then you're pretty much set. You can find all sorts of information to talk about and can keep a conversation going longer.
This is a very impressive thing to do. Many people are pleased when they run into people they can actually TALK to about what they're interested in. You become interesting and entertaining. It opens a door for the conversation and the person usually becomes more interested in what YOU like too. You are more likely to become a friend to this person because they will that it is easy to talk to you.
This method impresses your bosses, coworkers, friends, and family. You enlarge your circle of interesting, different friends. You get better jobs because you're more relaxed around the boss. You are, over-all, more liked and more likely to be approached by others.
If you haven't been alive too long, or are poorly education, then you probably don't have a decent amount of knowledge as it is. You definately should be cramming your brain full of information for discussions--present and future. Once you get the hang of this you'll find yourself needing to research topics less and less--you'll simply have interesting topics to discuss already stored.
In short, this is a wonderful idea that everyone should be doing now. Do not be ashamed to do this. Everyone likes people they can have an interesting discussion with.
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me :)
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How do you love? Not a sexual question. (link)
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First you have to define what love is properly and then you simply go from there. Once you have the right definition of love, then things are pretty much self-explanatory.
Love means caring about someone more than you care about yourself.
This means you look after the other person first. You let them have the better one of something. You do things just to make them happy, even if it's an inconvenience to you. Your first thoughts no longer revolve around yourself, but the other person instead. You take care of your loved one before yourself.
I'm not just talking about relationships between boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife either. This applies to all relationships in which you love someone--such as mother and daughter, father and son, brother and sister, etc. You show love the same way for all types of relationships.
You cannot make someone love you, of course, and sex is no sign of love really because it isn't showing care--it's just animal instinct. Showing love comes from your heart--not your body. You don't have sex with your grandmother because you love her but you try to make her smile, keep her company, and brighten her days by spending time with her and showing her that you...CARE.
It doesn't matter what the person looks like, but you want them to have good health. It doesn't matter how the person walks, but you don't want them to be made fun of by others and get hurt. It doesn't matter if the person is deathly afraid of something, but you want to help them overcome their fears.
That right there is where a lot of people get lost about love. I hear all the time, "If he loves you then it won't matter if you're fat! Don't change yourself for someone!" If he loves me, then it WILL matter. He will want me to be healthy and happy. It would make him happy for me to live an extra year longer if I was healthier. You should WANT to change yourself for someone--to give them what happiness they deserve in life.
I think hearing, "I love you, please lose some weight so you are healthier," is not an insult at all. The person is showing that they care about you. They care if you're unhealthy. They care and want you to do something to make yourself healthy. They are bringing a problem to your attention because they LOVE you.
You try your best to be what the person deserves, whether that's a better mother, father, husband, wife, brother, sister, etc. You change what needs to be changed and improve what needs improving.
As my loving boyfriend says, when you wake up in the morning, the first thought to come into your head is, "What can I do today to bring a smile to [LOVE]'s face and happiness to his/her heart?"
I really think that's all that love is, and it seems that today a lot of people don't realize that. A lot of people claim to have love for someone but they never think if anyone but themselves--I've always wondering how in the world that can be loving.
I know I'm loved. I don't hear it all day, every day, but I know it so well. I don't have to hear that I'm loved because I have proof every day. I'm thought of first by someone. I'm taken care of by someone. Someone does whatever he can for me without asking anything in return--simply because he LOVES me.
I hope I've helped you see another perspective on love, what it means, and how to show love. If you have any other questions about this sort of thing, please feel free to ask me :)
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yesterday i lost my virginity to this amazing guy that i have been seeing for about 2 months already.
we were dating before but it didn't work out as planned. i'm 15 and he's 18.
when i lost my virginity, afterwards i was emotional because i felt dirty and slutty.
is that normal?
and where can you get the morning after pill?
we used a condom and it didnt break,but just to make sure.
thanks . (link)
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In my experience, if you feel dirty and slutty after engaging in sexual relations with someone then you have a reason to feel that way.
It should not be normal to feel this way and it's sad to see so many young girls below answering that they felt the same. I do admit that I've been in this situation and it has taken me years to figure out exactly why I felt that way.
The reason you feel dirty and slutty is because your conscience is screaming at you that what you have done was very wrong. Good reasoning for feeling this way is that deep inside you know you're too young to be having sex and that this type of relationship only leads to a troubled adulthood.
Feeling dirty and slutty isn't really normal. You only feel this way if deep inside you feel it was wrong. It is a fact that when people feel slutty/dirty/whorish they reach out to people they feel will accept their actions and tell them that they are not doing anything wrong. Advicenators is pretty well-known for their abundance of uneducated sexual interaction with others.
The problem with friends with benefits is that people tend to become emotionally attached at some point, usually females. When this happens it seems that the person simply cannot grasp that a real relationship is not forming and is not there. They tend to become very depressed and may even obsess over their sexual partner, hoping for some glimmer of a relationship--which, by the way, can never be strong if it were to form because the entire basis for (at least) one person would be sex. Maybe you feel slutty because inside you KNOW that there will never be anything between you and this guy now.
When you interact sexually with a person that is not your partner (especially married partner or long-term partner) it does put a stigma on you. The person will perceive you as sexual and empty. They see that you will make them feel good physically but have nothing else to really offer them. Most, if not all, of these sort of relationships burn out quickly. Deep inside you KNOW you don't want to perceived in this manner.
These types of relationships tend to mess with a person's ability to affectively communicate with people that they are not engaging in sexual relations with. It's very unhealthy and degrades a person to where they have no self-esteem, leading them to be more promiscuous.
I suggest you discontinue sexual activity with people you are not actually partnered with. It really sounds like you rushed into things completely unprepared mentally. You are hurting your mentality of relationships. If you continue you will mix sex and love up for each other--leading to some VERY painful situations. Please trust me.
I know deep inside you feel you did bad or you wouldn't be concerned over those feelings. Please stop doing this to yourself. It will go away once you start killing off your conscience.
People who engage in these sorts of relationships tend to be left with depression, suicidal thoughts, and very poor self-esteem. Many people end up in therapy, trying to figure out why they are so unhappy with their lives years after these relationships have ended. It makes a person end up feeling like they are disposable--and you, most definately, are not.
To purchase Plan B you will need to ask a pharmacist for it, as they do not place it on the shelves. Plan B is stocked by all major pharmacy chains, but be sure to call ahead to make sure that it available in your pharmacy. You can go to this site, input your zip-code, and you should be able to see where Plan B is sold in your area:
http://www.go2planb.com/plan-b-pharmacy.aspx
Girls younger than 18 need a doctor's prescription. However, anyone 18 or older--male or female--can buy the OTC product. You may need to show identification to a pharmacist.
After taking these pills, be prepared for possible side effects. Some side effects that are associated with Emergency Contraception:
1. A female's next period may be earlier or later than usual
2. Nausea and vomiting may occur
3. Her flow may be lighter, more spotty, heavier, or the same as usual
4. A female may experience headaches
5. Breast tenderness could be common
6. Dizziness is also common
Just as a note, typical use of a condom means that it's only actually about 88% effective on preventing pregnancy. Also note that condoms do not protect against ANY std/sti so you are at high risk for many diseases and infections.
If you ever decide to take birth control pills, be aware that they are only actually 92% effective on preventing pregnancy with typical usage.
"Safe" sex is not nearly as safe as the media would like us to believe. ;)
I hope you alter your behavior so that you're not regretful years down the road for what you've done to yourself. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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Hi, I am Rajib from Bangladesh . I am 20 . I love a girl who is 17 . I am trying to propose her in many ways . But because of some problem in her house , I cant ! My mom & dad like her also . Please tell me how I can propose her ? (link)
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Hello Rajib. Thanks for coming to Advicenators for help! :)
I know that proposing marriage takes a lot of time and effort. I know that everything needs to be just perfect.
I'm not sure what problems are going on in her home but I am wondering if maybe you should give her a little time before asking her to marry you. If she is having a hard time at home then maybe you should just be supportive and friendly right now so she can relax about the stressful situation. I know when you're in love that marriage seems to be a huge goal, but sometimes you need to take time so the marriage will not be tough. You want things to go smoothly.
Something to consider is her own desires. You should have already had a few small discussions about marriage and how she feels about it in her life. She may be planning on never getting married or she may have a total dream proposal that she wish would happen. You don't have to make it obvious to her that you are looking to marriage, but it would be good to have an idea of things she expects when it comes to marriage.
So, you may want to consider giving the relationship more time to grow before popping the question. You are both very young and should be enjoying your youth. It may be best to continue dating this girl and enjoy each other's company before rushing into married life, especially during a rough time in her own home. You want this to be memorable, not something she looks back and sees surrounded by lots of stress and pain.
You should probably talk to her parents about marrying her before any of this. It is only polite, of course, to ask for their daughter's hand when she is so young. Her parents need to know that you want to marry her before you propose--you can even ask them if they feel this time is appropriate of if she is in such a stressful situation that it should wait. Here parents have known her since birth and can give you ideas on when the right time may be.
If you find that proposing right now is best then here is a neat site with 50 different ways to propose to the person you love:
http://wedding.theknot.com/getting-engaged/marriage-proposals/articles/50-romantic-ways-to-propose.aspx
Here is some good tips on HOW to propose. Make sure you read the entire thing before jumping into the proposal:
http://www.mahalo.com/How_to_Propose
You definately do not need to make the occasion fancy and expensive. You can simply make a small, romantic evening of it and propose on one-knee, traditionally. Remember things like:
Experts recommend an 18-month lead time for wedding planning.
Only 19% of women feel that asking parental permission prior to proposal is unimportant. Asking IS something to take note of.
About 58% of women feel that the place of the first date is an excellent place to propose--no matter how public it is.
90% of women truly want their partner to propose on bended-knee.
Women's number one complaint about their proposals was that he asked without a ring.
90% of women say they do not want to be involved in the planning of their engagements. Surprises are good when it comes to proposing!
So, relax and re-evaluate the situation. Make sure that this is something you both really want and that you both can handle at this point in your lives. You both are very young and it may be best to wait until her life has settled and there isn't as much stress.
I hope all goes well with your relationship. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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I have been with this guy for five yrs now and we have a son who will be three soon.There are many things about him that have just changed in the past four years and I'm only with him now for our son.I know I love him because he is my sons father and for the time we have been together but I'm just not in love with him. he has disappointed me so much.All the promises he made...he didn't accomplish not even one. He doesn't give me enough attention or time and he's just all about himself and not even since he has no car now and a sucky job so he isn't doing anything for himself anyways the list goes on and on....i have tried leaving him plenty of times but he just won't accept it even before I got pregnant and now it doesn't feel right trying to leave the father of my son. it doesn't feel right trying to look at anyone other than him for comfort but what should I do if I'm not happy by his side anymore? should I just keep sucking it up for my sons sake or try to move on and try to find love and happiness?? would that be selfish on my part? this is something that just kills me. I'm so confused and have mixed emotions because I also feel like it would be hard starting another relatinship now that I have a son, many guys don't want anuthing serious with women that already have children. and I want to get married and not have to date around...I'm 23 he is 26.please I would love to get some different opinions and just weigh out my pros and cons to conclude this dilema. thamks to all who respond. (link)
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What you should do, before deciding anything, is talk to your partner.
Communication is the key to making any and all relationships work. It sounds to me that this has been lacking from your current relationship. When two people do not communication clearly then nothing can be solved, plain and simple.
Your situation sounds like many here:
"I found this guy and we have been together for a long while now. Everything was okay for awhile. We went out to movies and dinner, and he seemed pretty interested in me. Well, we ended up having a baby and now it seems like my partner is all about himself. I want to leave because I'm not happy."
What you are REALLY saying is this:
"I met this man and we started dating. We went out regularly and spent a decent amount of time enjoying each other's company. It's been a few years now, we've had a baby, and things seemed to have died down. We don't go out much anymore and he is focused on other things that aren't me. I'm unhappy because I haven't told him this so he's never had the chance to "fix" this. I feel completely neglected. Things have dramatically changed and I'm unhappy now."
The main point of all of this is that your partner no longer seems interested in you. Maybe you don't quite see it that way at the moment, but it's true and in time you'll realize that is the real problem.
You say yourself:
"He doesn't give me enough attention or time and he's just all about himself..."
Sure, there are other factors in your unhappiness, but this was the first one listed. Do you know why it was the first listed? Because it's the first thing that was in your mind. It was the most bothersome thing.
You simply feel unhappy because you haven't told your partner that things have changed and that you feel he's neglecting you. You're not giving your partner the chance to change the situation.
Since you haven't expressed your concerns to your partner, you really have no clue as to what is going on with his side. If you're feeling bored, chances are he is too. Your relationship is a two-sided deal and you need to pull you weight as much as he needs to pull his.
Ask him what you can do to make him more active in your relationship, especially if he has expressed the disinterest in taking you out. Maybe he wishes you'd dress up more or would be more willing to do things he enjoys doing (or see movies he enjoys seeing or...well, you get the point). For all you know, he's been waiting on you to press him to go out together and has thought you've became uninterested in him. Whatever it is, ask him what you can do differently to liven things up!
You have to let him know what you feel is missing and what you wish would be happening. He has to know what he needs to "fix" to be able to change it and meet your needs. If you don't tell him that you feel like he's completely lost interest then he cannot tell you if he has or hasn't and has no idea that he needs to alter his current behavior.
Really express exactly what you've been feeling about the situation though. Let him know if you feel he's uninterested in you. You have to communicate with him for anything to go smoothly--he isn't a mind reader. Spill your guts to the man. Give him tips on things too--tell him what you wish would happen!
After discussing with him about what is going on between you two, make plans to go out one evening. If, for some reason, he puts it off then you need to let him know what it makes you think. For the "date" think of a couple of nice things you two can do together that you haven't done in awhile. It doesn't have to be expensive or fancy--just time out together.
You may also want to suggest to your partner about making a date-night once a week or month--or whenever you can fit that in. Again, it doesn't have to be costly and you could possibly even do this at home with some home-made popcorn, snuggling on the couch, and a rental movie.
You may be able to find a decent neighborhood babysitter for low cost if you only spend a couple of hours out each date night. Remember to screen the babysitter so you are not leaving your child with a person irresponsible.
Remember the things you use to do that he really loved. As time goes on, couples tend to forget about complimenting each other and things become so routine they don't think about it any longer. It's always the little things that really matter. Show him you're still interested in those small ways.
In the future, remember to go to your partner first about problems. He knows your relationship and he is aware of what exactly is going on with him. He may be just as lost and confused as you are if he's feeling what you're feeling and hasn't opened up to you.
When something feels wrong then TELL your partner--no matter how silly it may sound at first, he needs to know.
NO, you definately shouldn't up and leave this man because his focus has changed. You need to take initiative to fix this. Sit down with him and tell him everything--even that you've considered leaving the relationship, but realized that the real problem is that YOU haven't been TALKING to HIM.
I hope things work out well between you and your partner. If you have any more questions then please feel free to ask me :)
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ew ok so my hair is gross with split ends and i want them to go away with out having to cut all of my hair so is there a really good product or house hold w.e to really get my hair back to health ? (link)
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I read in a book about an ingredient in some shampoos and conditioners that is really important to look for.
It was called panthenol. It is suppose to be the B5 pro-vitamin and helps to strengthen the hair by filling in damaged areas, leading to less breakage and a smoother feel. It is suppose to help retain moisture (helping to keep it shiny) and thicken hair strands as well. Look for hair products containing this.
In addition, the book I was reading suggested finding a leave-in conditioner that had panthenol in it (some are even labeled on the front of the bottle) to help repair the hair follicles. The book claimed that this was the best method to repairing damaged hair and, if used properly for an extended period of time, would eventually "heal" the hair completely.
So, if I were you, I'd head to the store and look for some products containing this. Remember to pick up a good leave-in conditioner with it as well. In addition, always use products that help protect against heat styling products (like blowdriers, curling irons, and straighteners) to help prevent more damage being done.
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So i had sex with my boyfriend, we couldn't kiss because he had a cold sore and we didnt want to risk the chances of me getting a cold sore. I went onto the interent and then it says cold sores are actually a type of herpes, like herpes simplex or something!! and we had sex but with a condom, i hear stories that i could get herpes even though he got a cold sore on his mouth and we didnt kiss. apparently herpes can be passed to another person just by the gentials touching! but he had no sores there on his penis! so am i infected? (link)
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Cold sores are herpes simplex 1 (HSV-1). Genital herpes is herpes simplex 2 (HSV-2). They are two completely different stains.
Your partner needs to wash his hands thoroughly and avoid touching the cold sore on his mouth. You also need to do this. He can spread the herpes all over his and your bodies. That's why it's important that he washes up very well before touching you--just in case.
If he has sores on his lips it doesn't mean he will have the virus on his penis too unless he has spread it there (which he may have noticed bumps similar to the cold sores on his penis at some point in his life) or if he ASLO has strain 2. Like I said, cold sores are typically strain 1.
I know it's complicated and confusing.
If he's never experienced an outbreak on his genitals, it's likely he only has oral herpes on his mouth. You CAN get oral herpes on your genitals if he puts his mouth there though so please be aware. He can also give you HSV-1 on your genitals if he touches his lips and then touches your genitals with the same fingers.
So, it's possible he has herpes on his genitals, but you can't be for sure if he isn't having an outbreak. A lot of people become infected by partners who never had an outbreak or wasn't having one at the time of their contact.
So, in short:
He has HSV-1, most likely, but only a doctor can tell you for sure--your partner may want to get an STD testing to figure out which strain of herpes he has.
Wash your (and have your partner do this) hands thoroughly before touching other areas of the body.
Do not engage in sexual contact in which his mouth comes in contact with your genitals. It is risky to even kiss him (even if he doesn't have a sore) because you can contract it onto your lips too.
If you have any questions about herpes, please feel free to ask me since I've researched this quite a bit! :) I want you two to be safe and happy.
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okay so me and my boyfriend had been dating for three years and he asked me to marry him!I'm only 14! and he's 16. we're sooo young! I didn't give him my answer yet but I just don't know what to say. I mean I love him with all my heart and when he cry then I cry. when he's hurt or injured then I injure myself to be injured with him. we do everything together besides go to school. I do plan to get married some day but not this soon. he said we'll be engaged until I'm 17 or 18 and that's when we'll get married. but should I wait till I'm that age or should I just tell him no?what should I do? (link)
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Simply put, I think you're way too young to be making these sorts of decisions.
I know it may seem like you two have everything planned out. I also know that it may seem like you have a perfect relationship; however, you're both going through some tough, life-changing years right now. You two really shouldn't be worrying about marriage quite yet. If you love each other, then give yourselves time to grow up a little, and I mean this in the most pleasantest way possible.
If I were you, I would tell him everything you told us. You love him very, very much and you would like to spend the rest of your life with him; however, you feel you're too young to make that sort of decision at this point. Let him know that you're not necessarily telling him that you don't want to or aren't going to marry him. Let him know that you just need a few more years to grow and learn about the world.
You really sound like you have your head on your shoulders. You do want marriage, but you know you're simply too young for that. That is really a very good thing to know.
Worry about being 14 while he worries about being 16. Have fun going out as boyfriend/girlfriend and having double-dates and the like. Make lasting memories right now because there will be plenty of years ahead to work on a marriage.
To me, when you tell someone you will marry them then you have to be serious. You're at a time now that so many things may happen and you two may drift apart (not saying that it will happen)--you really never know. You should be more worried about keeping the relationship together and strong instead of when to marry each other because you two simply don't know what life may throw your ways.
Like I said, worry about being a teenager right now. Maybe you can even let him know that it might be acceptable for you to make this decision at age __ (I suggest 18, 21, or later). I think if you two really are in love then he'll understand what you're saying.
You can prove your love in so many ways. It's a shame that teens don't realize that now. You don't need to throw the word engagement around and you don't have to have sex. My suggestion for the time being is simply this:
Make memories of your youth.
When you're older you'll have something to say. Your grandchildren will all sit around, wanting you to tell them about the time you and grandpa went out and did this and that. They'll come to you advice on how to make their own relationships work and you'll be able to say, "It isn't about having sex. It isn't about saying you're going to marry them. It's about life, love, and making lasting memories together."
I feel sad that a lot of the teenagers now won't have a "how we met" story other than, "We met at a party and starting making out and had sex." I feel sad that teenagers will have to say, "I was engaged to 3 guys before he asked me and we got married." I feel sad that they won't have anything to say about what they did together other than, "Well, we we could see each other, we had sex. Sometimes with a condom, sometimes without. We had a few pregnancy scares." I feel sad that they will have to tell their own children things like, "No, your mother/father wasn't my first sexually. I lost my virginity when I was 13 to this one guy/girl. I had been with 13 people prior to your mother/father."
Go roller-blading.
See concerts.
Go to the park and watch old people in love.
Lay on the ground and look at the clouds.
Go on movie dates.
Share a milkshake.
Read books together.
Go have a few double-dates with your best friend.
Volunteer together.
Talk to strangers together and see if you can help brighten their day.
Help each other grow.
Don't worry about marriage.
Don't worry about sex.
The time will come when those will be important.
The time is not now.
Be 14.
Be 15.
Be 16.
Be 17.
Be 18.
Enjoy your youth while you can, and look back to laugh and smile at the good, wholesome memories.
I hope your partner takes your response well, whatever you decide. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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how would you clean your vagina like u would the rest of your body or you dont im not sure female! (link)
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The best way to wash your vagina is with clean, clear, soapless water.
Typically girls will take some soap and clean the sides of that area where your thigh meets the pubic region, but they have to be very careful not to get the soap into the vagina.
If you get soap in your vagina you can end up with a nasty yeast infection, which will take some treatments to get rid of, and possibly a visit to the doctor.
So, my normal routine is this:
Wash body off with body wash.
Rinse washcloth.
Take washcloth and soap it up again.
Lightly "scrub" where my thighs meet my pubic region, staying clear away from the slit where the vagina is.
Rinse off area thoroughly with clean water.
After rinsing off all of the soap, rinse the slit and vagina with water. Do not try to "fill" your vagina up with water or anything--just wash it off like you had soap on it and were trying to rinse the soap off.
Take clean wet washcloth (no soap at all on it) and wash off the inner portions of the slit in case anything is trapped in a little fold or anything.
So, in short:
Use water and no soap for the actual vagina or you'll end up very unhappy.
In addition, never douche. Douching is very, very bad for your body no matter what the packaging says for it. It clears out too much of the good bacteria and most women end up with very bad infections sooner or later.
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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