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I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)Facts about me:
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My boyfriend and I have been together for a while now. He finally has told someone (me) about what has happened in his childhood and how messed up he is about it. He does drugs all the time, drinks, smokes. He used to cut himself but he is done with that and he and I want to get married. My problem is that he recently told me that he wants to also start having sex with other people, that he wants to act out his physical attraction but still be with me. In his mind, he thinks that sex and love are 2 different things, that he can separate the 2 without any attachments to another person and the other eprson won't have any attachment to him. We got into this huge argument about it, him not realizing that just by saying that, it hurt me so much. Well, in the end, he had sex with the girl anyways (but he didn't cum), but now the girl is possibly pregnant. She says that she hadn't had sex with any other person in that time period but they used a condom and it didn't break. How could she have gotten pregnant? I am devastated. I don't know what to do. I want to stay with him, and he knows that I am hurt so badly by these turns of events. But I just don't want to get out of bed in the mornings, I can't go to classes, and when I do, I don't understand anything that the teachers say because I am so numb because of it. I love him so much, and he loves me, but I don't know how I can trust him again without feeling like this.
I don't want to be told that I have to dump him or should dump him, I don't want to do that, I just want to be able to talk to him and not feel like screaming at him. We have been through so much already, and I don't want this to be the end.
Thank you all for your time in reading and responding to this question.
He is using his childhood as an excuse for actions that he knows are wrong. He needs to grow up and wake up to reality. How do you know what happened between him and the other girl? They could have had unprotected sex and he could have ejaculated. You weren't there. You can't know. What he did was completely unacceptable. I know you love him and you've been through a lot with him, but you need to make a statement. Let him know that you're not going to put up with him treating you like this for whatever reason. It's just not right. It's going to be hard on you too, but you need to take a break from him. If he really wants to be with you he won't go with other girls in that time. He'll be completely focused on you. If he isn't, I'm sorry to say, but he doesn't feel the same way about you that you do about him and you need to end it for yourself. Look what its doing to you. You can't handle everyday activities. It's screwing up your life. Breaking up with him isn't going to ruin your life any more than being with him already is. Tell him that you need to think about whether or not you two are right for each other and you want to take a break for a month. Don't talk to him at all. After the month, talk to him about what went on during that time in person. You'll know whether or not you should get back together with him. I wish you lots of luck.
I'm concerned about a couple of friends I have...I was wondering what age is appropriate to have sex...12?...14?...16?...18?...older?...they say they love the guy but come on...what's too young?
Love or not, no matter how old you are, you shouldn't have sex until you are ready for it. This website has a list of all of the things you should consider before having sex. http://www.coolnurse.com/sex.htm
I don't feel that many young teenagers are mentally mature enough to fully understand the meaning of sex and how it relates to love. Sex and love are very complex and teens are still developing mentally. Having sex at a young age can have detrimental emotional consequences, not just physical. I've seen it happen and it's not pretty.
I would say that sex before the age of 18 is stupid and before the age of 16 just isn't right. There is always the risk of pregnancy. Your friends think that its going to be special for them. Guys and girls view sex very differently. Guys tend not to attach meanings to everything like girls do. Your friends are going to get their hearts broken and its going to be even worse if it's by the guys they lost their virginity to and thought that because of that they would be together forever. They may not see it now, but a few years from now, they will most definitely regret having sex at a young age. Have you ever heard anyone say "I wish I'd had sex when I was 13"? No, it's always, "I wish I had waited".
Try to talk some sense into your friends. The decision is always theirs, but be a good friend and at least try to help them do the right thing. If they end up doing it anyway, be there for them when it all falls apart. They will need your support. Good luck.
Every now and again I'll click on something (a link, a shortcut, anything) and my computer screen will turn to just a blank blue screen with a message in white writing saying 'Driver may be at fault!' When this happens there is no way to get back to what I was doing before and the only way out is to switch off the computer. Does anyone have any idea what the problem is or how to solve it?
I'm not an expert, but from my experience, when something like that happens, you should reformat your computer. Reformatting involves deleting everything and starting over.
I've heard what you are experiencing referred to as "the blue screen of death". It means there is a serious error that can sometimes be fixed by restarting, but other times, your computer may not be able to recover. So, one of these days it might not turn back on when you try to restart it. Get anything you don't want to lose forever off of it as soon as you can.
Again, I'm not an expert so I could be wrong. All I know is that reformatting will fix it. There may be an easier way to do it that doesn't involve completely starting over, so my advice would be to ask DangerNerd, or someone else that knows a lot about computers, before making a decision.
Good luck!
ok so im always hearing, on tv shows, "if we could afford it, i'd love to go to..bla bla bla..(name of university) and things like that, yet i often hear "all it takes is the good grades, and then there's always a fund, or a loan that will pay for university"
you know what im saying? llike if there's always a way to pay for the university of your choice, than howcome the wholeworld doesn't choose the best universities?? like ok, you'll be in dept for a while cause you have to pay back, but if you borrow ALOT and get into a awesome collage than you'll have a bigger chance of becoming something successful so you'll be able to pay back everything..am i making any sense? you know what im saying? like why is money a big issue for people who are choosing univerities or collages?
Money = prestige. In a job interview, someone with a degree from Harvard will probably get the job before someone with a degree from a state school.
Now think of it this way. Lets say you want to be a teacher. Teachers genearlly don't get paid that much. If you take out a lot of money in loans, its going to take you a VERY long time to pay them back on a teacher's salary. This will put a huge financial strain on you and your family, if you have one. If you go to a less expensive college, you can probably get the same exact teaching job and have fewer loans to pay back. Life will be much easier for you. Sure, you can go to and Ivy League school and get an education degree there, but why would you if you didn't have to?
Universities that cost more use the myth that you are describing to get you to go there. It makes people start thinking like you are and want to spend more money on college. Sometimes its the right choice, sometimes its not. You're right, money isn't an issue in the sense that you are talking about, but a lot of the time, it is more sensible to go to a college that is less expensive.
If you can get the same education without losing much in prestige for half the price, then you might as well. That's the situation I found myself in. I was paying 32 thou for a private, out of state college when I could be paying 16 for a public in-state college that better suited the field I was going into and would make it easier for me to find a job upon my graduation.
Schools that are "the best" are harder to get into. You need to have higher overall intelligence. Some people just aren't smart enough to make it through and most others would rather not work as hard for the same degree someplace else.
All in all, it really depends on what you want to do with your life. There's no reason to put yourself through 4 or more years of extreme stress and unhappiness when you don't have to. You'll have no time for anything other than work, probably through your twenties. It may be worth putting your life on hold, but it may not.
I'm not saying that more expensive colleges are the wrong choice. You just need to decide what you are willing to do, what you need to do, what you should do, and what you want to do, in order to get the job that you want. I loved the private college that I went to. If I had kept my original major, I probably would have stayed there. You can't get a Marine Biology degree from just any old college. When I switched to teaching, staying at that private school was a waste of money.
Don't go to the best college. Go to the college that is the best for you.
I hope that I made sense and that I answered all your questions. Good luck in choosing your college. :)
The bar scene is beginning to make me sick.
I really wanted to try the whole "interweb dating" thing, so I did! I met someone from MySpace and he completely hated me. You might say "Oh Erica, you're clearly exaggerating."
No. If this guy had a machete, I wouldn't have a head.
I want to date. Any advice, oh hell, just any response whatsoever, would make me happy.
I would suggest trying a site other than Myspace. Look for an actual dating site. Try to stay away from sites that specialize in finding sex partners or don't really specialize in anything at all (like Myspace, Facebook, and others). Do some browsing and see what you can come up with. I've heard some good things about yahoo personals, but any really good site you're going to have to pay a little for. Don't go and spend a hundred dollars or anything, but if it costs money, it means that generally everyone on there is serious. That's what you want. To find people that are just as serious about finding a partner as you.
You could also just do it the old fashioned way. Get involved in something co-ed and you'll probably meet lots of guys.
Don't get frustrated so easily. There's no quick fix to this. Finding someone is going to take some time. Try to be patient and good luck! :)
is there any way that you can find out who an "unknown" caller is?
When its an "unknown caller" that means that the number, for one reason or another, is not registering with the system. If the person was purposely blocking their number from being seen, it would say "blocked caller", "restricted number", or something of that nature, not "unknown caller".
So, basically, it means that your caller ID is not working. It's not broken, it just can't come up with the number to display for one of many possible reasons. If it happens a lot, it's probably a telemarketer.
No, you can't find out who it was and *69 isn't going to work. If you are having an issue with an "unknown caller" you can contact your phone service providor and they should be able to take care of it. Good luck. :)
what does it mean for a girl to "put out"?
From my experience with the phrase it doesn't necessarily mean that the girl is having a lot of sex. In some cases yes, but I know some girls that "put out" that have made the decision to wait until marriage for sex.
When I've heard it used, it has always meant that she shows off her body by wearing small, tight, or otherwise permiscuous clothing. She puts herself out there for everyone to see. It only gives the impression that she is looking for sex. It doesn't necessarily mean that she is.
Putting out can sometimes include other characteristics and actions (such as strutting, flirting, confidence, and being extroverted) along with the slutty dress.
I want to start shaving my bikini area. All of my my friends do but I'm a bit embarassed to ask them this!
You see, I'm just a bit, well, nervous, really about going around my bits with a sharp razor. For the first time, who wouldn't be? So I really need like a step by step guide. I've looked on the internet and I can't find much for teens that doesn't sound scary. Could any of you ladies out there help me? It needs to be quite detailed.
Much Love, FF. xx
The first thing is, don't do it just because your friends do it. It's not like they can see it and pick on you for it. If they are asking, it's none of their business, so don't tell them. Something like this, you need to do because you want to, not because you feel pressured to.
There isn't a particular way to do it. You just do it and be careful about it. It's one of those things that you have to learn for yourself. Some suggestions would be to trim it first, take it really slow, make sure your razor is very sharp (tiny cuts are better than razor burn in that area), use a small amount of soap instead of shaving cream so you can see what you're doing, make sure you are in a well lighted place, and use a handheld mirror for the parts you can't see. The best piece of advice I have for you is - don't be scared about it! You're not going to chop anything off. Worst case scenario is you get a cut and it heals within a few days. You'll be just fine, don't worry. Good luck!
my friend masterbated with two fingers but she can fit three and now she has realy bad cramps and is in ALOT of pain..shes 13 and the pain is so horrable its hard to walk..shes screming in pain..what do u think she could have done to herself and what could she do to make the pain go away...she cant tell her mom because she just never would...thank you
I highly doubt that the pain is linked to masturbation. There are many things that can cause bad cramps. She may have an ovarian cyst. She doesn't have to tell her parents that she masturbates, but she does have to get to a doctor very soon. All she has to do is tell her mom that she has severe cramps and needs to see a doctor. There will be no questions asked. If the doctor asks, she needs to tell the truth, but there's no reason why she would have to tell her mom. :)
Ok, so me and my boyfriend[Brent] have been dating only a few weeks. Well today at our schools football game, one of his friends showed up[he doesn't even go to our school] his name is Sam.
Well, I was flirting ALOT with Sam. And then when my boyfriend left, I thought about how cute Sam was and how I actually liked him.
Which is pretty weird because he has a girlfriend & I have a boyfriend. But then he would come over and talk to me, and I would catch him staring at me. And then he kept hugging me and patting my back and all of that.
So what do you think?
Just because you like someone else doesn't mean that you have to break up with your current boyfriend over it. You'll always be attracted to people other than the person that you are with. That's very natural. Denying that you are can get you into trouble. It's good that you realize it, but don't think for a minute that need to do anything about it. Liking someone else sucks, but if you let it mess up your current relationship, you're going to have relationship problems for a long time to come. It's a viscious cycle. There's always going to be someone that seems better. The fact is, guys aren't really that different from each other. If you were to leave your current boyfriend for Sam, you'd be disappointed. Sam isn't all he's cracked up to be. Its hard to see his faults because you aren't dating him. He has them though, everyone does. You like your current boyfriend don't you? Give him the fair chance he deserves. I'm sure he's a really great guy. There are tons of people out there that you could be happy with. Don't go out searching for the best one because you're not going to find it. Different guys will have some qualities you like and some you dislike. Stay with the one you have and love should come. He will become the best one just because he is him. Don't go looking for perfection - make perfection out of what you have. It's ok to enjoy your attraction, but don't go any further with it. Good luck. :)
Ok well i fell inlove with this one guy and i lost my virginity to him and all that good stuff but hes just a player. And i basically thought i got over him and recently started dating this other guy because i realized that there was no sence in waiting for the 1st guy two stop being a player and love me like he should...which is what everyone told me to do and its workin out fairly well....But my problem is, is today i was hanging out with him (tha player) because he lives with me (DONT ASK)and the way he was acting is the way before i would know that he wanted to fuck around. Since im not doing anything with my boyfriend yet because ive been introuble and not able to leave the house i was really just wanting to start makin out with tha
"player" and get laid because im definitely still physically attracted to him even though i dont want to be. I was really holding it back because i dont want to cheat on my boyfriend. I never cheated before and ive never been cheated on. I would be really pissed and fuck up who ever my boyfriend cheated on me with if he did that to me...so i dont want to be a hipocryt and do something fucked up like that because i totally hate cheaters...but idk what i should do because its like this super hot ass guy just there wanting to get with you...and knowing that not one person would know bout it... What do you think bout this situation?
Don't compromise your relationship with your current boyfriend for this jerk. Hot or snot. You will regret it and feel guilty about it for the rest of your life. After you do it the first time, you may be tempted to do it again and again. Have some respect and pride for yourself.
I don't know the circumstances surrounding the fact that he's living with you. You say "DONT ASK", but I'm going to. Excuse my language, but what the hell are you thinking? Whatever is going on, get out of that situation. Leave your house, hurt his feelings, move in with your boyfriend, do whatever you need to do. You have to stay away from this guy. He's going to ruin your life and make you hate yourself.
I wish you the best of luck and I hope that you decide not to cheat on your boyfriend. It's always your decision how you decide to live your life, but be very careful what choices you make. They can have a huge, negatice impact on your present and future relationships.
k this is akward but what does orgasm mean i know it has sumthin to do with sex but what
The best answer I can give you is this website.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orgasm
It's not porn or anything, it's strictly informational. I hope it helps! :)
For the past 4 days I've been getting an "unknown caller" showing up on my call display. This has never happened before. Usually when someone calls their name or phone number will show up; like it might say "private caller" but then have the number. Well the weird thing is whenever this"unknown caller" shows up and I answer; whoever is on the other line never talks to me- I usually will say "hello- hello-- hello? and then I hang up. This was the third time this has happened to me in the last 3 days. Also; I check my missed calls and this "unknown caller" has also phoned when I've been out and has not left a message. My gut is telling me it's my loser ex. I think this is because he has also been getting friends of his to come into the store I work at and they just stare at me. Do you guys think I'm right? I don't know who else would be that creepy- maybe he's not ready to talk yet but wants to hear my voice; and he doesnt want me to know it's him so he's been phoning from a line that would say "unknown caller'.
It's probably a telemarketer. Don't look too deeply into it. As far as I know, there's no way to trick caller ID into hiding the number. If there was your ex probably wouldn't be smart enough to figure it out. Plus, if it was an ex, this probably would have started sooner after you broke up and he wouldn't call that much. It'd be more like once a day. If it is a telemarketer, the calls should stop soon. If they don't, contact your phone company and maybe they can get it to stop for you. Don't answer it next time, it's just wasting your time. Good luck. :)
i am almost positive i have anorexia, as hard as that is for me to admit. i don't want to tell any of my friends or family, but i know i need help and i cant do it on my own. i went online and searched for help sites, or centers near me to help and i found nothing. the first step is to admit you have a problem, and i am doing that, but now i cant even get help. if you know of any web sites that will help me, sites to find a place near me, or can give me any other advice, i'd appreciate it.
Here are two hotlines that may be able to help you.
Eating Disorders Awareness and Prevention
1-800-931-2237 (Hours: 8am-noon daily, PT)
Eating Disorders Center
1-888-236-1188
This website has a lot of information that you can look at about anorexia.
http://www.coolnurse.com/eat_disorder.htm
Telling a counselor or trusted teacher at your school is always an option too. Good luck. :)
I'm taking a poll and I'm curious what people think the most spoken language is. Don't search the site or look at other people's answers and see. I want what YOU think.
Last I heard it was Chinese.
You asked for what I thought and I gave you what I thought, so yes, I'm positive. If I'm not allowed to search for it or look at what other people thought, of course I'm not going to be able to be very specific. I don't know what different kinds of Chinese there are off the top of my head, goodness.
hey,
My name is Julie and iam 20. iam kinda hairry around my pubic area(u can say that i have a bush)since i had never trimmed before since puberty.i was just woundering if i should keep it or trim it or even shave it?.And iam asking girls and boys...I heard that many man men prefer bushes(they find it sexy and feminine while others not).So wat you think i shall do?
Thanks for your help.
Keep it how you like it. It sounds like you're not dating anyone at the moment, so there's no reason to be uncomfortable. If you are, or start dating someone and you want to accomodate their likes, the best thing to do would be to ask them. Different guys will like different things. If you don't ask, it's nothing more than guesswork so you might as well keep it as you like it anyways. Of course it's going to be a little awkward, but if you ask, you'll know for sure. Asking isn't going to hurt anybody, and it'll all be over in a matter of minutes. My current boyfriend actually told me what he liked, so that took a lot of the strain off of me. Guys want you to know, they just don't want to pressure you into doing something you don't want to just for them. If you ask, a guy will probably be more than happy to tell you. Good luck. :)
Hey I have a macintosh and my boyfriend sent us a picture of us over aim. The problem is that when I drag it to the desktop, it is a picture clipping, and I was wondering how to make it into a jpg pic because I want to photoshop it.
Thank You.
Open the file, click on the "File" tab on the top, then "Save As". Below where you type in the "File Name", there is another drop down box called "Save as type". Choose the JPEG or JPG option from the list and you should be set.
If it's opening into a picture viewer that doesn't have a file tab, to open it, right click on the file and select "Open with". The best option to choose would be "Paint".
I hope that all of that makes sense to you. If not let me know and I'll try to clarify. Good luck! :)
Hope you still remember me. I'm the one who asked how to deal with my envy toward my boyfriend. ("I envy my boyfriend like hell.") Thank you so much for your answer. I thought about talking about the issue with my boyfriend. However, isn't envy kind of a sinful thing? What if my boyfriend would hate me for being such a envious person? What if he also knows that quote, "envy's true nature is the will to completely destroy the envied". He'd leave me if he ever knew that the envious part of myself wants to "destroy" him. I really don't want to lose his love. I've been hiding my envy from him, in case this bad personality trait of mine would make him think less of me. So outwardly, I pretend to "feel happy" whenever he accomplishes something grandiose, but inside my envy is killing me. I wish I could truly feel happy at his accomplishments some day. Since envy is considered a bad thing in society, I fear my boyfriend's reaction to the disclosure of my envy would be negative as well.
Whether it's negative or not, its who you are. You say that "inside my envy is killing me". If you keep it in, you'll feel worse and worse and worse about it. So, in a way, letting it out some is a positive thing. If you hold it in, someday you'll just explode and express it negatively. Keep control of it or it will control you.
Maybe your boyfriend isn't the right person for you. You can never know until you let him see your true and full self. A significant other needs to be able to accept the good and bad things about you in order for the relationship to work. Just telling him about your feelings isn't going to do anything but bring you closer together. If you don't express your envy through actions, he's not going to think badly of you for any reason. If he does, he's not emotionally mature enough for relationships yet and you shouldn't be dating him. I think you'll be surprised at how understanding he'll be.
Most of the time we exaggerate our own problems into these huge crisises, when, in reality, it's not that big of a deal. The big deal is how you feel about your problem, not the problem itself. Your boyfriend can help you feel better about yourself if you share your feelings with him. Talking something over with someone else can solve so much. Its hard to do, I know, but it's usually the best option in any situation.
There's no denying that envy is a sin. What you need to do is stop thinking about sin. Whether it's a sin or not, it's who you are. Labels will only complicate things. Remember too, that it's not always so clear cut. I don't think that what you're feeling is pure envy. Envy is wanting what another has and finding pleasure in seeing them fail. You want to be happy for him, you're not rooting for him to fail. There is a big difference. There's not as much envy here as there is admiration with a twinge of jealousy. Admiration is a good thing. Jealousy isn't so much of a good thing, but everyone gets jealous to an extent. You're not overly jealous, and that's good.
I'm guessing that you are religious since you seem very concerned with sin. Don't let sin control your life. You're not going to live a sin free life. Don't get preoccupied with it. Be happy that you're a little envious instead of a serial killer. Enjoy the life that God has given you and remember that no matter what sin you commit, you can get forgiveness for it. God gave you the desires that you have, so it would seem a bit unfair for Him not to give you a way to get out of punishment for them wouldn't it? Right now you're being punished by feeling all this worry and fear. Along with talking to your boyfriend about this, talk to God about it. Pray. You'll get results.
Good luck :)
To get it straight, envy is my biggest weakness, and I can never stand being with anyone that is better than I am (in whatever way: intelligence, appearance, accomplishments, etc.) Whenever I come across someone whom I perceive is a better individual than me, I'll run away from him/her as far as possible, otherwise the envious fire at my heart would burn me to death. Paradoxically, I fell in love with a guy whom I perceive is smarter and more accomplished than I am. He loves me too (or even more than I do him). But part of me doesn't seem to be able to carry on this relationship anymore, because I can’t stand the fact that I'm inferior than my boyfriend in some areas. I usually date someone that is equal to me or slightly dumber than me so that I can feel I'm in control. My boyfriend's intellectual superiority makes me insecure and vulnerable. I shiver whenever seeing his grandiose accomplishments. I remember someone said, "envy's true nature is the will to completely destroy the envied"—do I want to destroy my boyfriend then? Well, yes, I do RESENT him for having talents that I don't have. Yet at the same time I'm in love with him. Yes, I love AND hate him simultaneously! Such feeling is too much to handle. Ugh. I don't think I can leave him, because he loves me so deeply that I'm afraid he'd have a huge breakdown if I went away—that'd be too selfish of me. If I could get rid of my envy, everything would be fine. But how can I do it? This bad trait of mine is so ingrained in me. I always uncontrollably compare myself with others. I can't help it. So I am seeking advice from you guys. Please don't say, "everyone has his/her talents and defects. You are equal to your boyfriend because you have talents too." Yes, I do have several talents he doesn't have. But from what I perceive, my boyfriend has MORE talents than I do. He is superior to me MORE OFTEN than I am to him. I can't stand this. Meanwhile, I wish I could eradicate my envy and have a wonderful relationship with this guy.
It is very possible for you to stay with him and be happy. I've been through something similar. It will make you feel a lot better if you talk to him about this. Tell him everything you are feeling like you did here. You will feel so much better and he will realize how high of a regard you hold him in. Only positive things can come of it. He may even have some words of comfort for you. If you stay with him you should learn how to cope with these feelings. If you leave him because of them, you could keep having the same problems in relationships over and over. Good luck. :)
are fishnets too slutty for halloween? in the picture of my costume the girl is wearing fishnets and i was gunna buy them,but my mom is saying if i wear fishnets all of my friends' moms are gunna think ima whore. is that true?? like i know halloween is for dressing up, but my best friend is going as a ninja turtle and ill be walking next to her in fishnets, and people might get the wrong opinoin of me, i dont want my friends mom to get the wrong idea and think im a slut,and tell people that i wore fishnets because they may not let their kids hang around me anymore.im only 14 help???
I did that when I was younger and nobody thought anything about me. Just as long as you don't wear a really short skirt with the fishnets, it's perfectly okay. You'll see people dressed a LOT sluttier than you, don't worry. If your mom isn't going to let you wear fishnets, try to find stockings with a fishnet-like design, or just wear black. Good luck. :)