Tell him no, and that that's final until you bring it up again. Tell him you're too young, that you want to wait and make sure it's with the right person.

If he breaks up with you over that, trust me, you DO want him to break up with you!

You want your first time to be with someone you love who loves you back, with mutual respect. This sort of behaviour is not respectful to you.

Set up a time to talk. That way you're not just throwing it at him. Explain that you think that you are ready to take your relationship to the next physical level, but that there are things you need to know first, before you make the decision. Make sure that you're somewhere quiet (i.e. not public!). No surprises.

A basic rundown of topics:

1) STDs

Both of you need to go get tested if either of you has had oral, anal or vaginal sex with anyone else. Do this BEFORE having sex.

2) Protection

What kinds of protection are you going to use? (I always suggest two or more: the pill/shot and condoms, preferably with a spermicidal or HPV killing lubricant). Are both of you on board with this?

3) The "what if" game

You've probably got all sorts of questions bouncing around in your head. What if I get pregnant? What if we get caught? What if... Put those doubts to use, and ask him anything that you're not sure on. If you have severely differing viewpoints, you may want to hold off for a while.

With all this taken care of before you have sex, it leaves you to enjoy the main event with much less worry. You have no idea how happy it makes me to see another young lady taking charge of things! :D

Pre-cum can absolutely get you pregnant.

Your boyfriend wouldn't be able to feel it. It's a slow leakage that happens while he's aroused. Theoretically, it's made up of the stuff that's in semen minus the sperm. However, because of that, sperm can definitely live in it. Even a couple strays that happen to get out can get you pregnant.

The pill is cheap, and you can get it without parental permission through Planned Parenthood, as well as free condoms. You don't want to have to go through an unplanned pregnancy at this age.

If you care about your teacher at all, you will stop immediately.

As I'm sure you're well aware, what she did was illegal and highly immoral. Teachers are put in a position that requires a great deal of trust. Parents expect that their child will be safe from sexual predators when they send them to school. Your teacher having sex with you, as a minor (I'm assuming) makes her a sexual predator.

I'm going to guess that you don't want to report herd. It's probably what SHOULD be done, since she's proven herself to be a danger, but you have the right to choose here.

I happen to know a woman who was recently arrested for having a relationship with one of her past students (he was 15, she is a married woman in her 30s). Even if you were to quit school, she could still be prosecuted if she were found out, and at the very least lose any chance of ever teaching again. So that's not an option.

As for the pregnancy issue, I'm sure she was covered. She's an adult, and knows the risks. If she were to get pregnant and claim you as the father, she'd have to face being arrested.

Please, please, stay away from this woman. It's not worth ruining your life and hers over sex. Find someone your own age.

Unfortunately, you really can't diagnose yourself as having a mental condition. Dr. Google often misleads people into thinking they have strange, exotic disorders, when they may have something else. What you're going through sounds a lot like what I go through in my depressive phases.

If you are concerned about your mental health, you should go to see a mental health professional, not a family doctor. A counsellor can assess your condition and refer you to a psychiatrist or psychologist if needed. Counselling doesn't cost all that much, and may be available for free in your community. Be open to what they have to say. Medication may be necessary, or it may not be the best course of action for you.

Really, there's no way to force more ratings. People will rate if they appreciate the time and effort that you've put into their answer.

My suggestion is to ignore the number. The best advice is given when you're thinking about what the person NEEDS to hear, as opposed to what they WANT to hear. That's why my rating is never a 5!

Keep on truckin'! Remember, for every person who doesn't rate, there's a person who wishes they could rate a million times :D

Unfortunately, you are actually downloading something when you load videos. Websites can load cookies or have hidden scripts to allow downloads.

It also might get slower because most of those sites have a lot of video ads which take up a tonne of bandwidth.

My suggestion? Get a good free virus scanner and set your security to high.

My advice? If you're still using the word prego in a serious context (like this one) you're not ready!

If you can't have this discussion with your girlfriend, then you aren't prepared to have sex. The two of you should be discussing several things before making the leap.

1) STIs. What happens if one of you gets one? What will you do to prevent it?

2) Birth control. What methods are you using? What if the condom rips? What if she misses a pill or two?

3) What if she does get pregnant? Are you willing to deal with a pregnancy? What would she do if she got pregnant? Are you okay with her decision?

If you can't discuss all of the above and come to an agreement, then you should wait. There are plenty of other ways to express your love for one another :)

If you're looking for a specific diet to follow, I'd suggest South Beach. It's more of a lifestyle change, rather than binge dieting for a few weeks (and inevitably gaining it all back!).

It emphasizes lean meats and veggies, making sure you get lots of fibre and protein. You're supposed to eat 3 small meals and 3 snacks every day (very important, or else you get super-hungry!)

Basically, there are 3 phases. In the first one, you eliminate all breads, pastas, rices and sugars. That means no fruit, no sweets. That lasts for a couple weeks, in which you kind of detox and learn better eating patterns.

Phase 2 introduces a bit of whole-grain stuff, a tiny bit of brown rice and low-sugar fruits like mango and kiwi. You stay on this until you've lost all the weight you want.

Phase 3 is the maintenance phase, which lasts forever. You can fully reintroduce carbs, but you're supposed to stick to whole grains and avoid sugar. This keeps you from gaining the weight right back, which is usually what happens when people "diet".

I've just re-started it after falling off the wagon hardcore a few years ago. I love the food because it's simple to prepare and you can just modify your favourite recipes. You can still eat out at restaurants, and you really don't need to count calories. The cookbooks are fantastic, and I would really recommend taking them out from the library or buying them.

I would say to listen to what your daughter wants.

Soccer is supposed to be something fun that she does outside of school. The moment you make it into something she HAS to do is the moment she'll start hating it, as any of my friends who were forced into piano lessons can tell you.

Let this one slide. It's not worth risking your daughter resenting the time she spends playing soccer. She's not putting her entire future at risk by missing one soccer game at age 13. She is missing out on a big chunk of adolescence by missing her first dance.

Go to a doctor ASAP!

You may have strep throat, which can get a lot worse if it's left untreated.

Only a doctor can tell you what is wrong with you and what steps need to be taken to fix it.

As far as inexpensive products, I love Got2B's Smooth Operator line. I would particularly recommend the "lustre lotion"

http://www.fabulessbeauty.com/2009/04/17/got2b-smooth-operator-smoothing-lustre-lotion/

I use the entire line, from shampoo and conditioner down to hairspray.

It is possible that you are pregnant, or that you got a false positive.

Make an appointment at a Planned Parenthood or at your doctor's office. Let them know that you have received a positive and a negative on home pregnancy tests, and they'll do a more accurate one for you.

Good luck!

I'd suggest going to a Hanes or Playtex outlet. Their bras come in a wide range of sizes (all the way up to E) and they're really inexpensive. The only problem is that they're not all that cute, generally speaking. I'd say to go there for your practical, everyday bras and to somewhere like Victoria's Secret when they're having sales for your cute bras.

Unfortunately, it's a case of "love me, love my friends".

I personally am not fond of a few of my fiance's friends. I do make an effort to be friendly and non-confrontational when we hang out to make him happy.

If you don't like the friend, you don't like her. Nothing's really going to change that. Just put on a polite face, grin and bear it for your wife's sake when you need to hang out with the both of them.

You say that HE wants to have sex. Do you?

Only you can make the right decision for yourself, so be sure to stick to your guns and don't let him pressure you to do anything you don't want to.

As for the pain, tons of water-based lubricant and tons of foreplay will do the trick. When you become aroused, you sort of loosen up a bit.

It may not work out the first time, especially if he's too big for you. If you're in too much pain, stop and wait for another time.

You're mistaken when it comes to disorders.

They can be overcome. I myself have Type 2 Bipolar Disorder and OCD. I also have a loving fiance who I have been with for the last 4 years through thick and thin. It's taken extraordinary amounts of work on both my and his behalf.

Thing is, he needs to WANT to change. If he goes to counselling, they may be able to diagnose him. If he understands what's wrong with him, he can work to make it better. It takes a lot of soul-searching and self-analysis, and he may not be willing to do so.

You also need to be willing to change. If you attend counselling with him, you can learn how to help him change and how to deal with his difficulties.

If this is his only problem, then he can make you happy. Disorders are not a character flaw. They're something you develop over time or are born with. Keep in mind that it's not his fault unless he refuses to change.

Stay with him for a while. Give him that push to start the change. Give him the ultimatum; counselling or nothing.

If you do need to break up with him (i.e. he decides that he's perfect and doesn't need to change) then be firm.

No bargaining, no pleading. He's used to the emotional upper hand, and you need to take it away from him. Tell him you've made the decision and that you're not changing your mind. Then walk away.

_________________________________________________

Edit time!

_________________________________________________

First off, cut ties definitively. Tell him that it is over, that you are done. He will try to argue this with you. Use his viewpoints against him. He says that you're the unhappy one. You are! If he tries to pin the blame on you, tell him that he's right; you ARE unhappy, and you're doing something to change that by leaving him. He might get the idea.

You said that he chases you down relentlessly. Don't let him. You really need to be firm. He's convinced, because of his disorders, that you don't really want to dump him, that you're making a mistake. Thing is, you know you're not. Don't try to be "just friends", because you can't do that with a person like him. He's going to manipulate you and lie to you to get what he wants. Cut off communications. Block his number or any number he calls you from, delete him from online messenger lists, let your friends know that you've cut ties with him and don't want to hear anything from him. Ignore him entirely. If he shows up at your house, don't talk to him. If he turns violent, call the police.

It sounds awful and horrible, but he's got a disorder that makes him awful and horrible, and incredibly dense when it comes to understanding the workings of relationships.

No judgment here based on age, by the way. I'm 22 as well, and I've been dealing with this crap for ages from the disordered person's end. Fortunately, I've just had the most wonderful patient fiance in the world, and that's why I'm now able to be here.

Okay... deep breath.

You can't erase the past. You made the choice to have the baby, so that can't change now.

Unfortunately, he can stick you with the majority of the responsibility and take the baby on weekends. However, him leaving means that he is now responsible for child support. Make sure you know what you're entitled to and that you get it.

You do not have the right, however, to deny him visitation with his child. He's a parent too, so he is entitled to parental rights.

If he's willing to drop the mother of his young child like that, he's not worth keeping. This is a time where you need him to be responsible and mature, and he isn't.

Let him go, give him what he's entitled to and make sure you get what you're entitled to. This is not the time to think about your romantic life. You need to be there for your baby!

Could it be this one?

http://www.la7oon.com/lyrics/lyrics/v/47FAE7BB43

(Ignore the video, it seems to be unrelated)

This sounds totally counter-intuitive, but people who have had sex with a bunch of other people aren't actually any better in bed than someone who hasn't.

When you start having sex with a new person, it's like learning how all over again. You've got to totally adjust your style to fit with your new partner. This is why the first few times with a new partner, the sex kind of sucks.

A guy would want a virgin because she clearly thinks that her body is something special, not something to be tossed around like a Frisbee. Not to say that you need to wait until marriage, but it's definitely important to wait until you're with a person you love and trust, because having sex is a really special bond.

My Personal Forum

My name is Amanda and I'm 26 years old. I'm currently studying electrical engineering. Armed with a fairly odd sense of humour and a sunny outlook on life, I'll take on just about anything. I'm also cussedly stubborn, which has its ups and downs. Things get tough sometimes, and I've never been one to run from it.

In my last 8 years with Advicenators, I've gone from honours student to failing out of university (and getting back on top again!), from single to married, from tenant to homeowner.

Until lately, I have been struggling with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and OCD, which had basically ruined my life and taken just about everything from me. I'm thankful every day for every experience I've had because of this ordeal, because it's helped to make me who I am today. Things like that really make you appreciate what you do have. Now that I'm back in work and school and starting to become myself again, I couldn't be happier. I credit Advicenators with saving my life back when I was a teenager, which is a big part of why I'm still here.

I won't necessarily give you the answers you want to hear, but I'll always be honest and do my best to help.

Gender:
Location:
Occupation:
Age:
Member Since:
Answers:
Last Update:
Visitors:
Main Categories:




Favorite Columnists