about

My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

I'm currently in Grade 12. Most people are excited to graduate, but I am dreading graduation. Let me explain my situation, and then can anyone help me?

I'm pretty much terrified. University is going to be so much different, and I won't have my friends around. I haven't had to face a single day of school without them since the first day of kindergarten, and even then I was introduced to my one BFF within like the first 5 minutes, and another of my BFFs within like 30 min. Like I'm going to be so lost without them!

Starting high school was sorta scary, but I knew it would be fine cuz half the teachers go to my church and already know me and almost half of the gr 9 class was from my grade school, and besides all that, I HAD MY 3 BEST FRIENDS!!!! I honestly have no clue how to survive without them! I am basically totally socially inept and I only ever attend any kind of social gathering because they are there! None of them even considered applying to the same schools as me cuz I'm applying to Christian universities, and they are all going public. But I need them!

And seriously, sometimes I feel like I should decide to go to the university in my town so that I will always be around whenever they come home.(They are each going about 1 hour away from home) But the rest of the time I am pretty certain that school is NOT the place for me, and that I would WAY rather go to one of the other two schools I applied to, which are 3 and 6 hours away, but it is so hard!

I just don't know how I will live without those girls. And it kind of breaks my heart to think that we will make new friends...I mean I've been friends with my one BFF pretty much from birth, and two of the others since kindergarten! I've only ever added to my circle of friends (and only in kindergarten and in Grade 9), I've never lost contact with a close friend. Like that's more than 12 YEARS OF HISTORY! All our inside jokes, all the stuff they know about me that I've never told anyone else, the way we know what each other need without even needing to say so....I can't imagine not having that!

Even now I find it difficult when I am in one class without any of them. ONE CLASS! and next year it's going to be the ENTIRE YEAR! AND THE ENTIRE YEAR AFTER THAT! I mean I'm sure we will see each other sometimes, but what if I go to the school that's 6 HOURS AWAY! How often will I be able to make it home? And how often will I be able to make it home at the same time that my friends aren't too busy! I just don't know! I feel ostracized if I don't see them for a weekend now...how am I going to manage going weeks without them? I am quite simply terrified!

So yeah....I'm pretty scared and it's already starting to stress me out now. It's like my 4 girls are the bubble I've lived in for my entire life. I don't know how to live outside of them. What do I do? How do I keep from being so stressed out? How do I make things easier for myself when I do graduate and go off to university?

One of the great things about college and University is it is easy to make friends. In a manner of speaking many of the freshman will be just like you just as scared as you. For just like you for the first time since probably kindergarten they too will have to make new friends.

Your first new friend most likely will be your roommate(s). You will be living together and living together makes it easy to be friendly. Next on this list of making friends will be the joining of different study groups. Study groups are a great way to make friends and to learn a subject better as each of you will have a strong point on the subject different from the other. The common purpose of a study croup being the subject is the motivator to making friendships.

Next on the is list is all the student activities that are available both on and off campus. There should be a list of activities for at the very least the ones on campus in your welcome package. Look through it and find things you are interested in and attend their meetings. Once again the commonality of the interest allows for building a friendships as you have something to talk about. If you can talk to someone you can build a friendship.

Don't let the fear of the unknown paralyze you. College and University life and be some of the best years of your life. Just remember your not the only one who needs to build a new support system. The other freshman will need to do the same. Make yourself open to making new friends and you will make new friends and you will keep your old ones for they will still be there when you are all home again for holidays and the summer.

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Does riding a guy means having sex too?

I would say in general terms that would be yes.

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I'm being blackmailed and I got scared so I reported the girl and deleted Kik what should I do she threatened to post it on Ellen show

You should know the ellen show would not do something like show a nude picture of you on the show to embarrass you or to participate in an illegal act. IF you are this concerned contact the show and the webmaster for their web accounts to be on the lookout for this picture so they can take it down and block her.

Hopefully you reported her to the police and gave them her contact information. If so I don't believe you will be hearing from her again. IF you only reported her to Kik then call the police and report her. Give them all the information you have and a copy of the contact with her threat to you.

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My fiance's grandpa is dying and I'm not there in person to help comfort him or his family, what are some things I can say to comfort them?

Solidadviceforteens advice was spot on. The only thing I can add is to call you fiancé and be supportive. Let him cry on your shoulder and if you can be there when his grandfather passes as that is when he will need you the most.

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I'm a 12 year old atheist girl. I'm not throwing shade to christians, because some of the ones I've met are good people, but why do people think christians are so perfect? In America, where I live every politician from Trump to Hillary has to profess their love for the bible to get a shot. Ted Cruz said he's a Christian first an American second. Imagine if a jewish person or a Muslim politician said that (as if Muslims have a chance) why is there god written on everything. Why must god be mentioned in the pledge? I've been called a "dumb shit" by someone for not believing when the evidence is "I have life" I responded I have life because my parents had sex. You see, Christians go around bashing everyone else's religion, then when we respond, we're close minded bigots and must drown in their Christian tears. A person I can't stand said it "makes sense" that I'm an atheist. This could either be regarding the fact I'm big on liberalism, or that I swear a lot. And here's another thing, how come with muslims lately, we are talking about banning them and making them wear special badges and closing down mosques for the action if isis (1% of muslims) why did we never talk about closing down churches after the crisis of priests molesting young boys, or banning Christians over the kkks, and making them wear badges because of the nazis, after all Hitler was catholic and stated his movement's christian (this stuff shouldn't happen to muslims or christians, don't get the wrong idea) and jewish people are the majority in religious hate crimes. I've met jewish people, muslims, atheists, and agnostic far more moral than some Christians. Also minorities like pagans, Jainism followers, hindus (mocked by people in bindis), etc are always getting attacked for being satanic? Why are Christians so loved and everyone else hated?

The majority religion in the US is the Christian Religion. The country was founded by the decedents of the Pilgrims who were of the Christian faith. Judaism or the Jewish religion is the second largest religion in the US. While I doubt there will ever be a Jewish President there is hope after JFk and President Obama broke the barrier on Catholics' and a Black President.

I wish I had a good answer to your question. TO my way of thinking anyone who bashes another based on their religion or way of life is the bigoted ones. Religion in general is suppose to be a calming influence in one's life to give them a moral direction. The Judeo/Christian are very similar following two different versions of the same bible. The old and the new testament. Many religions have their base in one of these religions.

If everyone who says they are a god fearing ???? whatever followed the teachings of their church, temple or Mosque the world might just be a better place. But most people are only god fearing on the day they attend services. The rest of the week they pretty much make up the rules as they go along.

Based on what I have read by the questions you write I like the person you are becoming. You are open minded and self thinker. This is not a bad way to be. You don't take things just a face value you have people prove their worth to you.

The one thing you can improve upon, again based on your own words, is your swearing. You can actually make yourself heard better if you don't swear. People especially adults will listen to you if you don't swear.

Personal example. Before I retired I worked as a sales representative for a major manufacturer of hand tools. My job required me to make two different types of sales calls. Calls in the field to the people actually using my tools and to the purchasing departments of the stores well them. Now swearing and cursing in the field was acceptable. Swearing and cussing in the purchasing department of my distributors was not. so I decided the best thing was not to swear or cuss.

At a sales meeting one of the other sales reps mentioned to our regional manager, I was standing with them, that he has never heard me cuss. The sales manager said he has never heard me cuss either when he traveled with me. I said I know all the words and if you were ever at the fire station with me you might definitely hear me use them because the young kids don't move unless I do cuss at them. At work I don't cuss and as you see in my numbers it works because my number are better than yours.

That was true I led the region in sales almost every month both in sales numbers and percentage to quota. By not cussing people listened to me. I also spoke in a normal voice which got my message across.

There is nothing wrong in what you believe, mainly because it is your belief. To convince others you truly believe town down the rhetoric cussing and see what happens.

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i frequent my bank, and there is a new teller there and ive notice she is always eager to help me and if I don't go to her window she gets upset and wont speak to me, or if I don't speak to her she gets upset....today I called the bank and boy was she extra happy...I can feel her just smiling in the background....wth...should I ask her what's up or just leave it alone? my bro thinks she is prolly bi and has a crush on me and told me to give her my number....she is younger than me I do know that much.....and she comes off as freaky.....what do u all think is she just being friendly or does she like me like? thanks

SO should I give her my number or wait to see if she's gonna ask me for mine....im not an outdoorsy person but I wouldn't mind chillin with her

In my younger days I worked as a teller for a Major New York Bank. One of the ones with a main Office in NYC built with all the Granit you could think of. They opened a branch on Long Island and I was asked to go to the branch to help with the opening.

While I was there a very nice looking girls would come into the bank and come to my window. If I was off that day or out to lunch my coworkers said she would leave after asking where I was.

Nothing could come of her interest in me as she was a depositor and the bank had rules against this. In fact we could not have an account in the bank for fear we might play some game against the bank. Our banking needs were met with an associate bank prearranged by our bank. I'm sure her bank has similar rules.

I suggest you do not encourage her in anyway and let her make any move on you if she wishes to.

PS. I was told by friends of mine at the Bank that after I left for another position she closed her account.

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I'm more into geography but I get higher levels in history and I like the history teachers more

If by "Higher Levels" you mean higher grades then by all means go with history. You may have a higher interest in geography but testing better in history. Go where your strengths are as these tests are most likely what the Universities look at for admission.

Here in the US we do not have GCSEs, we have standardized testing. The students do not get to chose which courses they study for to test in. These standardized test are relatively something students graduating this year will be only the fourth or fifth graduating class to have taken these tests throughout the school career, tested at different times throughout their school career.

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can a girl get pregnant if a boy just
touches his penis to her vagina from backside

IF you were not having anal sex and just fooling around. It is possible the boy had an emission called precum. In this emission there is sperm. While the possibility is remote it is possible that some of the sperm entered your vagina. If the sperm does enter your vagina then based on other factors your chance of getting pregnant increase exponentially based on the other factors.

On a 27 day menstrual cycle a women is most likely to get pregnant sometime between the 7th and 21st day of her cycle depending on when during her cycle she ovulates. There is a 6 day window, 3 days before and 3 days after ovulation that an egg can be fertilized by sperm and pregnancy develop. Now there are some other factors involved but these are the basic ones that have to occur.

Based on where you were in your cycle the chances of pregnancy, while remote, could happen. Rather than stress out over this which will cause you to miss your period even though you are not pregnant as stress cause missed periods more than pregnancy.

Get a home test kit and take a pregnancy test. If it does show your pregnant don't freak out, it may mean you tested too soon. Wait ten days and test again with a different kit by a different brand and manufacturer.

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I have been doing some research on the dominant and submissive lifestyle because I have been dating this guy for over a year and he wanted to know if I had ever been involved with this type of sex I said no I am a virgin and he asked me how I felt about this and being submissive because he liked submissive type girls during sex and while I was looking it up on the web it basically said I would be doing what ever they wanted and they could do whatever they wanted to me does this mean once that I agree I can't say no or back out? What are safety issues? Tips on anything appreciated I am so nervous. First time havening any kind of intercourse.

27 female

First: As Dragonflymagic said when having sex for the first time do not commit to any deviant or fetish type sex practices. You want to first learn to enjoy sex as it is naturally meant to be done. Then if you wish to explore the avenues of sex that's fine.

second: By law even if you agree to something in advance you have the right to change your mind, before or during any sexual practice. This is why during some of the sexual deviants and fetishes the submissive has a safe word. The safe word when spoken is the same as saying stop.

Generally when someone is asked to be a submissive they are being asked to participate in BDSM, Bondage, Discipline Sado Masochism. It is in this deviant the submissive can be given different degrees of pain prior to intercourse or disciplined without intercourse. Personally BDSM is not something I think belongs under the heading of sex as very little sex takes place for the heavily into BDSM participants.

If you have any thought of giving into your boyfriend on this I suggest you discuss exactly what he means by submissive. Does he want to take you over his knee and spank you or does he want to handcuff you to the bed cane or whip you.

If this isn't the type of sex you have been looking for, especially for the first time you have sex. Then my suggestion is you find someone else for this man will never be satisfied with plain sex. There is nothing wrong with plain sex which can be very pleasing and exciting without any pain for rather participant.

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I'm 16 years old, about to be 17 in a few months. I'm about 7 months pregnant. I've been blessed to be able to stay in school this whole time. I've always wanted to be able to stay in school until my last month because I want to make sure I have high grades and get to enjoy half of my junior year. I've tried so hard to make it through my pregnancy while still getting my education. But it's become so hard lately, my belly has really popped and people notice right away and stare and talk. Obviously I knew it'd happen. Teen pregnancy causes so much controversy. It's just my hormones are going crazy and I'm emotional and it makes me want to stop going to school but I still have time to be in school for a bit more but is there any advice you can give me to help get through it?

I will assume this pregnancy is an accident and not something you planned. Being pregnant at your age has a triple whammy that you have to deal with.

First of course is the bit about teenage sex and pregnancy. Then there is the part about being an unwed mother with an illegitimate child. Compounding this are your hormones going wild as you nurture the child inside of you and dealing with the kids at school.

I admire the fact that you are sticking it out and attending to school. I'm sure you knew that outside of your closest friends that once the pregnancy was evident you were in for a rough time of it at school. That this time would come at the worst time for you when you are most uncomfortable.

Stress at this point in your pregnancy is not good for you or the baby. The teasing and finger pointing going on at school has to be stress full. Unless you have been appointed an emancipated minor, even though you are pregnant and about to become a mother you are still a minor, you are going to need your parents help in dealing with the school officials to do what is right for you and your baby.

Based on what you have written I do not believe you want a GED ,but wish to return to school for you senior year and get your high school diploma. Pregnancy should be treated no differently than any disease that might keep you at home in bed for a long period of time. Schools have programs to deal with long term illnesses.

The can send tutors to your home and there may even be online courses you can follow at home. The biggest problem here are budgets. Schools are always looking at the bottom line. They could contend that your pregnancy is not an illness and is something that was avoidable. Therefore they are not obligated to provide any type of home schooling assistants. They could offer you to repeat your junior year. They would be wrong.

Your parents should be ready to argue their case for you and have a lawyer ready to assist them. They should start now, Monday morning in preparation for when your doctor says you should be home resting which is very possible considering the stress you may be under.

The other alternative is for mom or dad to homeschool you under a recognized home school program. You may want to finish out you high school years under a home school program as it allows you to be home with your baby.

Many of these home school programs even have programs at the college level. This would allow you to continue your education, receive a recognized degree for both high school and college while being home with your baby until he or she starts school. Then you are prepared to go out into the world with a proper education to support you and you child.

Some of these home school programs do not require your parent to teach or proctor you. There may be another parent, near by, teaching their child willing to take you into their home to proctor and teach you.

I don't know what these programs cost and what programs would be recognized by your State Board of Education. Of the two alternatives I have given you the home schooling alternative is the one I favor as it gives you the best of both worlds.

I suggest you and your parents investigate homeschooling and if it is affordable then this is the way I believe is best for you to follow.

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Hi I'm a bisexual 15 year old female, and for the longest time I've been attracted to another female friend of mine. I've tried to explain to her but that went wrong in ways you don't even want to know, so I was thinking about getting together a bunch of her favorite snacks for valentines day but I need to know if that sounds to forward. I guess I should also explain that said girl also has this thing about also dating girls from Canada and also has a strong belief that she is fat. (Just in case that helps)

Before I answer your question let me say something about label's. Be careful about labeling yourself especially about your sexuality at this young age. Labels tend not to be understood by people your age and you could end up being hurt. To label yourself bisexual could be to some your gay or a homosexual and lead to be being gay bashed.

Fact is at you age you are more likely to be sexually experimenting then bisexual. For reasons I and other adults do not understand young people your age are in a hurry to grow up and put labels on things; especially their sexuality. You have plenty of time to declare your sexuality. Now is the time for exploration and finding out what sex is like with someone of your own sex does not make you bisexual. It makes you a normal teenager.

As to your question; given what you said about things going horribly wrong and thinking you may have declared yourself as a bisexual. Then I'm going to suggest you back off for now. She may share your desire to experiment or think herself bisexual but unwilling to declare herself as such. If you have declared yourself to all then being with you brings her out something she may not want to do.

This has nothing to do with her belief that she may be fat. It may have everything to do with how she wants her sexuality to be seen for the time being. If you have declared yourself to her then what I suggest is a slower approach. If she thinks she is fat giving her some of her favorite snacks would be the wrong approach. IF she is not really fat then explain to her why she is not.

People who see themselves as overweight when they are not are borderline for eating disorders to lose weight. By talking with her and helping her to see she is not overweight you could very well keep her from harming herself. You would be making a better friend in doing so and you could find out at some point why when you first told her about you being bisexual it did not go well. Then you can decide how to proceed from there. It is a longer way to go but a more trusted way.

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Hello everyone! I'm a sophomore in high school and my boyfriend is a senior. We have been dating for almost 6 months. We've talked about it a few times, but my boyfriend said he wants to go into the Air Force and it scares me because I don't know what to expect (I honestly don't want him joining because he'll be so far from his friends and I , but you know, I can't control that)... If he joins I want him and i's relationship to work if he does join. He graduates in May and I'm going to be a junior in high school next year. I love this boy with my heart and he means a lot to me. Can anyone give me advice as to what to expect in the air force, how I can make my relationship last, and what I can do? Thanks guys.. ):

For the first 16 weeks he will be in Lackland, Texas for Basic Training. The depending on what Career the Air Force chooses for him he will be sent to AIT School for training in his Air Force Career. Those schools can last from 12 to 50 weeks depending on the career training. While in training he will have little time off base so he will have little time to women who are not in his training squadron.

During basic training do not expect him to write or call much if at all during the first few weeks. Upon arrival the Drill Instructors will have him and the others write a letter home to mom. They are not given a lot of time to do this. If I remember correctly it was just enough time to write what they told us. Which is I was fine and what my mailing address and maybe a few more lines. Then they collected the envelopes and mailed them for us.

No one outside the military scares more than a mom who has not heard form her son in training. My letter got lost in the mail. My mom called the recruiter, who called someone else. Her call to the recruiter went up the chain of command and back down to me in a matter of hours. I was summoned to the commander's office and made to write another letter. I was given 10 minutes to return to my barracks. Along the way I spotted a phone called home and told my mother never to do that again. So don't get upset if you don't hear from him in a few weeks as they keep them very busy to ward off homesickness.

After he finishes advanced training he will be given leave. If he is in training over Christmas he will be given leave for that usually 14 days. If his advanced training is one of the longer training classed he will have limited time off base.

Once he finishes his training he will be sent to his first permanent party base and assigned to a Squadron needing his career or AFSC as it is called. Once he is at his permanent party base he can leave base anytime he wants and you can visit him anytime you want.

During basic training I seem to remember we were asked to fill out a questionnaire which asked what bases we would like to be stations at. We were given three choices. I put down Andrews to be near some cousins, a base on Florida and one in England. In true military fashion I was assigned to a base in California and then to a base in the Philippines when I asked for a transfer to England.

In a nutshell while in training you will have very limited access to him. Letters and occasional phone calls from him. When he is finished with training and assigned to a base you can visit him as much as you want depending on where he is stations and the cost involved in visiting him. You will not be allowed to stay with him in his room.

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This might sound a little stupid to some people, but to me it feels like the end of the world. My teacher had to take a phone call at the beginning of class, we also had a test that day. I guess I got so into my book I read right through the test and didn't even answer a single question, heck I didn't even get a paper! I heard the Bell ring and realized I didn't even get a test. I just walked out of the room like an idiot before he saw me. Now he's going to find out that I read right through a test and get really mad. I honestly don't know what to to and don't even want to go back to school tomorrow!

Okay you made a mistake, own up to it. By owning up to it and telling your teacher exactly what happened and apologizing you are in a better position for being allowed to take the test after school.

Right now your teacher could be thinking anything. Like he left the room; so you just blew off the test. You don't want the teacher thinking that or anything else he may think.

Go to school early and find your teacher. Explain what happened. We are all human and yes we can lose ourselves in books it happens to all of us. It is a plausible excuse. If your teacher knows you and knows you are not one to lie and make excuses he will believe you and possibly allow you to take the test. You may get marked down for taking it late but that's better than a failing grade for not taking it at all.

Make sure to tell him how embarrassed you were when you realized when the bell rang and that is why you left the room without telling him.

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I got my nails done today and when they were sanding my nails (using the rotating tool, it's called a dremel I believe) they scratched me on my cuticle. I wasn't actively bleeding but the area is tender and red now. I don't think they cleaned the dremel, honestly, and now I'm terrified of contracting some kind of illness.

Can HIV be transmitted this way if an infected person's blood was on the tool?

I will add to what Razhie said by saying it is highly unlikely to get AIDS from a manicurist's tool as the virus does not live long outside the body. If there was any blood on the tool it would have been dry blood and the virus would have been dead for some time once the blood drops below body temperature.

There are some viruses such as the common cold virus that can live outside the body for some time. Washing of hands and using hand sanitizer during cold and flu season can lower your chances of catching these illnesses.

The Dremel power tool was not meant to be used on people. Why your manicurist has chosen to use it is beyond me. This tool with the proper attachments can cut metal or sand anything from wood to metal. It has attachments for wire scrapping and buffing though I would never use the buffing wheel on a human as it turns for to fast. This tool is for intensive purposes a home industrial tool.

I would suggest you think about finding a manicurist who does things the old fashion way, by hand, It is safer. You don't know what other shortcuts this manicurist is taking that may not be in your best interest.

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My mom was an active alcoholic for years and it ruined a lot of my childhood - especially high school. It was hard to watch and difficult to deal with an addict. The good news is, she's been sober for 4 years.

I'm really proud of her and am so happy, but now I'm 21. I want to have a drink now and then or just have some alcoholic beverage laying around for if I feel like drinking, but I'm so terrified to keep alcohol in the house.

How do I continue the occasional drink at 21 without making her feel bad or go down the wrong path again?

If you are living at home in mom’s house then this is something you need to discuss with her and see how she feels about having the temptation in her house. If mom is living in your house with you a discussion with her to tell her your bringing alcohol into you house and that it will be kept under lock and key if it needs to be and maybe it should be is still needed.

Hopefully mom is taking part in AA and working the 12 step program. If so bringing alcohol into her environment after 4 years of sobriety may not be the problem you think it is. My brother in-law is 25 years sober, a member of AA who still goes to meeting weekly.

My wife and I go out with him and my sister often for dinner. We all have drinks except him which does not bother him. There have been times when I will order a particular brand of something and he will say; "no you don't want that, trust me this brand is better." He hasn't had a drink in 25 years but he still knows which brands are better than another though he has no desire to drink.

Another think about my brother in-law is he is a closet Gourmet Chef. He needs to keep wines and certain alcoholic beverages in the house to make the fantastic meals he cooks. The alcohol burns off when you cook. How he is able to do this and never take even a swig is well beyond my will power.

I have told you all this for recovering alcoholics, especially those who are members of AA are stronger than you think. Talk to mom, if it is going to be a problem for her; then keeping anything you bring in under lock and key is the best thing to do. If you want beer then buy a small refrigerator with a lock on it for your room for the beer. Buy a small office cabinet for your alcoholic beverages with a lock. You keep the keys with you. Trust me you will know quite easily if anyone tries to get at you beverages.

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I'm in 7th grade and my parents watch the news a lot. It's always bad news. I live in America, we have a shooting every other day. The scariness started in 2014, with the ebola virus and isis starting up. I believe it was 2015 when isis chopped the reporters heads off. And throughout the year they were threatening to bomb places near me and hack soldier's twitter accounts and they attacked Paris, and San Bernardino. Then we hear very horrible stuff about how they are treating refugees and Republicans running around trying to make America into a Christian theocracy. Kids use the politicians for joke material like Trump and Cruz, but Cruz scares me because he is so against atheists and I'm an atheist! And Trump is scary too I think he'd make America very hateful. And in 2016 today for example there were like 5 bank robberies. A lot of kids dropped war games and stopped playing shooting games. I used to love those games but now not really. And sometimes I'm afraid someone will shoot up the school. A boy just got expelled out for doing cocaine!!!!!!!!!!!! And another for throwing his computer through a window trying to hit someone. Is it reasonable?

Is it reasonable NO but it is what society is today, unfortunately. What you can't do is let what is happening scare you to the point that you fear going out or going to school.

ISIS is a threat to our way of life as well as others around the world. Our government and other governments are working diligently to contain and eradicate the ISIS threat. I read yesterday the Prime Minister of Great Britain is wanting to send troops in to fight ISIS. Many world leaders believe it will take putting boots on the ground(soldiers)to fight ISIS in the desert to bring them to heal and to justice. Only President Obama feels an Air Campaign is needed to succeed with limited military ground troop support. The Prime Minister of England does not need President Obama's permission to build his own coalition to fight ISIS on the ground.

There have always been Bank robberies and unfortunately I suppose there always will be as long as there are banks around to rob. There are people out there that think they are entitled and can take things by force if they want. some feel they are not robbing a bank but an Insurance company so it's not your money they steal but some Insurance company who replaces what they steal. They are wrong but the justify what they do in that way.

As far as what is happening in school. Part of the problem is we live in the age of entitlement. Some of these kids have never known failure and have never been told no. So when they do fail they have no idea of how to process it. This is both society and parenting failure. It is also a problem of film makers and parents that don't teach their children the difference between reality and fantasy. It is also the age of the internet and Xbox. Children have no imagination for the games do the imagining for them.

As for the school shootings. These are things that school systems today are more attuned to then ever before. The have companies that scan social media looking for students that might be planning something. They have been very successful recently of stopping things before they happen. Homeland security, the FBI and other law enforcement agencies are also looking for people that may be planning things.

Yes, you might say they missed Paris, but they really didn't. The information was there they just misinterpreted it. The same with San Bernardino. All the indicators were there just not where it would normally be seen. Law enforcement are making adjustments in what they monitor.

Fact is you are more likely to be struck by lightning than be caught up in any of the things you are concerned about. Yes be concerned, be cautious about what you do and where you go. If something looks wrong dial 911. But do not be frozen with fear for if you are then the bad guys have won and that is wrong.

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Let me start by saying that I didn't mean for this to be so long, but I think it's important for you to know all of the details. Last Tuesday, my mom and I went out to dinner and I don't remember how, but she got on the subject of the four days of her life that she wished she had to do over. The day I was born was on the list, although not for the reason I probably made it sound like.

I was my parents' second child and my sister was like ten days late. She was supposed to come on new years eve and when she still wasn't born, my mom had to check into a hospital and have a C-section the next day. My mom never went into labor with her.

I was supposed to be born on September 18th, but my mom went into labor on the 6th instead. My parents were about 45 miles from home visiting my grandparents for labor day weekend when it happened. My mom didn't want to go on that trip and my other grandparents (her parents) tried to talk her out of it, but they went anyway. When she went into labor, she wanted to go to the hospital, but my grandmother who I love, but who doesn't make very rational decisions and who didn't want them and my sister to leave, said she couldn't be in labor because it was too early. My mom knew otherwise, but my dad was trying to please my grandmother and refused to go to the hospital.

She went into labor at around lunch time on Sunday and late that night, she was in such pain that she said she'd go to the hospital herself if my dad didn't take her. He didn't think that' be safe in her condition, so they went and by the time they got to our hospital back home, my mom couldn't even walk. I had flipped in her stomach, so she had to have a C-section and I was born early on Monday morning, about 12 hours after she went into labor.

I was born with a bruise on my face and a crooked smile, which the doctors said was probably just temporary. They called it Bell's Palsy and said it probably happened because I hit my face on one of my mom's ribs or something because she was in labor so long and I was trying so hard to get out.

Technically, I guess I don't have Bell's Palsy anymore, but I still have weakness. I had surgery and now I have the ability to smile straight, but it's hard to know when I am unless m looking in a mirror. I can't move my left eyebrow up and down and I can't wink my left eye or completely close it when I blink, which has severely damaged my vision.

My parents worked hard to keep me from being sensitive about it and I'm not really. It's not nearly the worst thing that could happen to a person at birth and I'm glad that's all that happened that night. I got teased in school a little, but I didn't really care. I just brushed it off and told myself that those kids were ignorant and if they were going to be such jerks, it's not like I wanted them as friends or anything anyway. Other than teasing, I've never really had any problems. In fact, there have been a few positive things that have come from it, including life lessons I've learned, the way it's helped shape my personality, and the people I've met with the same problem.

My mom feels terrible about it, though. She said she should have gone to the hospital herself when she first went into labor or gotten my granddad to take her. I kept trying to tell her that it was okay and I'm not upset about this problem, but she said it was just because I was such a good problem (sorry if that sounds arrogant). I also told her that she couldn't have known that was going to happen and she said, "But I was your mom, I knew something was wrong, I should have gone to the hospital sooner.)

Why is she making such a big deal about it? I've had this problem my entire life, I thought we'd all learned to deal with it by now, but she still feels so guilty about it. To be honest, she's making me feel bad. Why does it have to be such a big deal? Why is it such a big deal that she got so choked up about it? I mean, at least I don't have CEREBRAL palsy like her friend's son. At least I didn't die at birth like my friends' triplet brother. To be honest, I do kind of wish this hadn't happened, but I like to think it was part of God's plan and it was supposed to happen, but my mom acts like she doesn't even believe that. She and my dad spent years trying to teach me that there was nothing wrong with me, was that all BS? That's what she's making me think by acting like this. Also, how can I make her feel better?

As a parent I know how and probably why your mom feels as she does. I'm not sure I have the words to explain why other than to say you will understand why better when you become a parent.

There are some things mom is probably not sharing with you about the time just prior to your birth. You wrote that she did not want to make the drive to your grandparents. It may be that instinctively she knew your birth was imminent or her obstetrician had told her that you could be born any day and she should stay close to the hospital. For whatever reason she made the decision to go to your grandparents. She is blaming herself for not standing her ground because for reasons she either won't say or may not even know she changed her mind and went.

Your Palsy was avoidable and for that reason she is not going to forgive herself. While you don't blame her and you have learned to live with the minimal effects of the Palsy this is something as your mother she cannot forgive herself for.

The only thing you can do is to be supportive and continue to remind her that you do not blame her and that you are very lucky for even if she had done everything right things could still have been worse for you and her. Tell her you love her and remind her that you love her all the time when you are with her.

You can tell her you forgive her though honestly I believe that doing so will only feed her guilt. While you can't ignore the effects of the Palsy you do not have to reaffirm them all the time either is what I am getting at.

One thing you left out of your story is what your dad says or how he feels. Does he say anything to you about this?

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24/f
Met a guy on tinder who just recently moved to the area. We met in about August. We both broke up with our spouses in about June/July so it was newly single to the both of us. First time we hung out i went to his apartment we told each other we werent going to cross boundaries but we did and had sex and it was great. I stayed over his house. The second time we hung out probably a week after we had sex again and i stayed over hung out and it was great. Texted all the time, pretty much lead me on and i started getting attached. About 3 days after we had sex i broke out with herpes. (we used a condom both times) i told him and he was in denial and said that he doesnt have it and if he did his ex would have it and she does not. So im still stuck between if it was my ex or him. Anyway, i still really like this guy but hes busy with work and going back and forth from his hometown to visit family and friends which is about 5 hours away...he moved here for work. Its been about 6 months and i personally feel like hes avoiding hanging out with me but he claims he is just busy with work. I put myself down telling myself he doesnt want to be with me because of the H. We finally hung out last night and it was strictly friendzoned because thats what he wants. I know he cares deeply about me as a friend it just hurts im not sure on what to do i love him as my friend but i wonder if he felt the connection i did too last night. It kind of hurt he never tried to make a move on me which i respect but i genually like this person and he obviously doesnt feel the same way. From the time in August until now we go on and off about flirting ive sent him naked pictures of myself sometimes to "brighten his day" and he obv likes the pictures and what not but we are just friends? I just feel like my heart/head is being all messed up and im not sure how i should feel. I went home that night he walked me to my car gave me one of those side hugs and kissed my head and i texted him being like good job on not crossing boundaries lol and he responded with thats why i didnt let you sleep over. I answered with nothing would have happened anyway lol. I asked him today if he doesnt want to hook up with me because of the H. And he says that it has nothing to do with that he is busy with work and starting a life out here and he told me many months ago when we first hung out hes not looking for a hook up/ realtionship with anyone and i told him i respected that 100% i just wanted to make sure it wasnt because of the H. What is everyones thoughts

First thing and really the most important thing is STOP SENDING HIM NAKED PICTURES. Not only does it make you look desperate. You do not know him well enough to know what he might do with them. You two are not in a relationship and can both go your separate ways at any time. Those naked photos are now his to do as he pleases and could end up on any of a hundred different websites.

Condoms stop the transmission of many different STDS but not all. It is also possible he had a cold sore and you had oral sex with him when he did. Cold sores are a different type of Herpes virus but can be transmitted by contact just like the other type. The fact that you broke out on or around your vagina makes it an STD regardless of which simplex the Herpes virus is. You need to know which type you have Type I or Type II.

If it is Type I then you most likely got it from oral sex. Cold sores are something the majority of the population must deal with as the Herpes virus that causes cold sores lives in moist of us. The Type II virus can usually only be gotten from intercourse though it is possible for someone to have it in their mouth and transfer it through oral sex as well.

If you do have the type II virus you would most likely be contacted by your State or County Health Department as they would want to contact you recent sex partners to test them as well as their recent sex partners to stop the transmission of this strain and treat those infected.

As for your guy and his sudden cooling off with you. As much as he may deny it I would have to say the herpes has to play some part in it. What he should do is be tested to make sure he is not a carrier which is possible too. A person can be a carrier and transmit the disease without showing signs themselves.

Then once he knows for sure if you and he have any feeling for each other it may be possible to continue to have a sexual relationship provided you take proper precautions and not during an outbreak. You of course will be on medication most likely for life if the type you have is TYPE II. You and your partners will have to know what to look for and when to reframe from sex.

Having Herpes is not the end of the world neither is it the end of your sex life. There are a number of dating sights, too numerous to list here, explicitly for people with herpes. Just type in to a search engine; "Dating site for people with herpes."

A number of returns will be listed. Review them and find one you might like to join. It is very possible you will find someone to have a relationship with that could lead to finding a new husband.

The first thing to do though is find out from your doctor just which type of Herpes you have. Then if you want look at the different dating sites and see if you find someone that might be compatible and contact them. Also list yourself and see who might contact you. You have nothing to lose and nothing to fear from having Herpes.

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so today me and my guy were naked. his penis was near my vagina. i have never had sex. so i dont allow him to insert his penis in my vagina. today he was just touching my vagina with his penis. not totally near my vaginal opening but near the inner thigh and on my belly and he touched once above the clit. in between i was giving him blowjob and he was fingering me too. he came at the end when we were all done. i am scared about his pre cum. does pre cum contain sperm? my menustral cycle usually is 32-34 days long. and i had my last period on 13th of jan. could i be pregnant? im 19. please help

Based on your cycle I would estimate you safe times are the 11 days after your period and the 11 days before your period. The 11 days in the middle are when you probably ovulate and are most likely to get pregnant. Based on my estimate your safe time ended on the 24th of January and you are in your fertile time until the 4th of February.

Now that does not mean you are pregnant. You can only get pregnant during a six day window around the time you ovulate. If you have sex three days before, during or 3 days after you ovulate this is when you can get pregnant. Three days before as sperm can live for three days while searching for the egg.

While precum has more than enough sperm in it to impregnate a women. Your chances of being pregnant are, by your description, extremely low. Sperm was nowhere near your vagina or your vaginal opening. The best chance of getting pregnant is of course if the sperm is ejaculated in your vagina. The chances reduce exponentially the further from your vaginal opening cum may land. Even if he had some dried cum on his finger chances are the sperm had already died as it does not live long outside the body.

To really put your mind at ease in about ten day buy a home test kit and test for pregnancy. Should it come back positive don't freak. You probably tested to early. By a second kit from a different company and test again in about ten days.

Based on what you have written, if I were you I would not be worried about being pregnant but do test for if you stress out over this I guarantee the stress will cause you to miss your next period.

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I'm 18/f.

My ex broke up with me exactly a year and 5 months ago, (wow) August 30th, 2014 and I think i'm pretty much still yearning for him although i don't want a relationship with him. It's just sexual and I know its a bad idea but it's all I wanted. Now i just want to lose my virginity to eliminate that 10% of want i still have for him. But there is a problem with this.

The friend that I have in mind has had sex with at least 8 other girls. There is a girl who lives close to where his father lives that he goes to see (pretty rarely actually), and he just received a blowjob for the first time from another friend of mine about 2 weeks ago that he used to have a crush on (but that might end anyway, she said to me that she is "already bored" lol). At the same time he and I might become friends with benefits. Even though if I start to have sex with him I would be the most frequent (and most exciting) one, that's 3 girls he's going to be having sexual contact with at least occasionally, and that's a possible STD or STI I might get. I don't want that complication, but I really don't think i can afford to wait any longer, I might go crazy.

I'm still thinking about sex with my ex and its driving me crazy. I can't just look for someone else because no one will match what I'm looking for, then on top of that I want to be sexually compatible with the guy. That will take too much effort.

I don't want to want my ex at all. I don't want to want anything to do with him but a part of me still doesn't know what dignity is. So I want to kill that part of me. I know that my friend and I are sexually compatible enough, and he likes my body and I like his body but we would never date each other (he has even told me he makes a horrible boyfriend, and i know exactly what he's talking about), SO IT'S PERFECT because I don't want any of my relationships to start off as just sex anyway. It would just be a mistake.

This friend was the one that I went to on the occasions when I was missing my ex really bad. He's a good listener, and I appreciate that, this is how i know he is totally worthy of having a girl like ME lose her virginity to him. He has been so patient and kind to me. I'm even starting to fantasize about him. This is a huge, really big sign because for the whole time I had feelings for my ex, I had dreams and fantasized about him and only him (we're talking, over 2 years of me being completely sexually focused on him, yes including the 4 months of me just admiring him and the 2 months of actual talking) and I'm finally done. Now I'm just waiting until I start having dreams about my friend for more encouragement that I'm really done. I'm excited and scared and preoccupied with birth control and I need to talk to him about getting tested, etc. Being a virgin is so annoying...

So, my question is: Would this be a mistake? I am 100% sure I'm ready to lose my virginity, but I'm not sure if this will solve my problem. It's really a priority in my life. I don't want to be in love with my first love forever, like they say. Not even a little bit. No, thank you

Thank you for reading and being in my brain for a little bit. I appreciate it and I hope you have a great day because they all are :)

There are really four separate issues here to discuss.

1. First Loves

2. Losing your virginity

3. First Time sex for the sake of just losing your virginity.

4. Birth control and STDS

First time lovers; you say; I don't want to be in love with my first love forever. First time loves stay with a person almost forever. More so with women but men remember their first loves with fondness as well. There is a difference though in remembering a first love and staying in love with a first love. You will remember this boy for many years because he was and always will be your first love. There can never be another first love. But you will not continue to love him the way you did or the way you will your future husband. Your first love will fade as a lover as you experience new love and a lasting relationship though you may never forget him.

Losing you virginity: TO have first sex just to lose your virginity I have to caution against. You will later resent doing so. To seduce this friend into having sex with you so you can lose your virginity is also fraught with pitfalls.

Entering a sexual relationship where there is not a mutual attraction and loving relationship is a great way to lose a great friendship. I'm sure you have heard about people who have friends with benefits. It is a great relationship to know there is someone you can call for sex when you want it with no strings attached. The problem is in almost everyone of these relationships one of the partners, not always the female, starts to have feelings for the other. If the feelings are not reciprocated the friendship breaks up. You lose twice for you not only lose a sex partner but you lose a great friend.

First Time sex just to lose your virginity: You are just 18 while legally an adult and have every right to a sex life. I caution you to wait until you find the right person to have sex with for the first time. TO have sex just for the sake of losing your virginity is going to be very unfulfilling and you will regret it later. I'm not saying you should wait until you find the man you want to marry. You should wait until you find someone you can have a relationship with that is not going to be a one night stand. Who will respect you and appreciate the gift you are giving to him.

Losing your virginity can be painful enough. It can be more painful if the man your with has no real feeling for you and just wants to get his satisfaction and not worry about you. If he has feelings for you and understands the trust you are placing in him with this gift then losing you virginity will not be more painful than it has to be. It will be an experience you hopefully will have fond memories of and it should be.

Birth control and STD's: Yes you should be on birth control before having sex, it is the responsible adult thing to do. You should also carry condoms in your purse for you should never let a guy have sex with you unless he wears a condom even though you are on birth control.

When I was your age the girls had a motto, "no rubber, no lover." Remember this motto for it is important not only for the added birth control they offer. Condoms protect against many of the STD's out there and THE HIV/AIDS virus.

When I was your age AIDS had not shown its ugly head in this country so we were not worried about it. MOST STDS were curable with a shot of Penicillin and were not epidemic. Condoms were at the time the primary form of birth control. With a woman on birth control and the male using a condom the protection offered goes from 95% to 99.995 percent or just about no chance of getting pregnant.

You have every right to be concerned about pregnancy and STDS. You should not be frozen in fear as there are ways to protect yourself. We have discussed pregnancy and condom usage. If you are in a relationship with someone long term and you are thinking of entering into a sexual relationship. The proper thing for you both to do is to get tested. Then you know you are both safe.

In short my advice is to wait until you find the right guy to give you virginity to. Get on birth control so that you are ready and to carry condoms in your purse. Sex for the first time especially for the women should be something special. It should take place someplace that is comfortable and safe. Someplace you will not be intruded upon. Hopefully it will be a memorable experience if done with the right guy.

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