Age:
28Member Since:
December 1, 2010Answers:
3046Last Update:
December 22, 2014Visitors:
57053Favorite Columnists
Dragonflymagic
solidadvice4teens
rainhorse68
AdviceMistress
adviceman49
Jasmine23
Razhie
NinjaNeer
LaMarionnette
flare
nascarfan1987
more...
about
I am straight to the point, My advice is given based on my opinions of what YOU write. I may not always tell you what you want to hear but I am not here to sugar coat shit.
I am honest, I am blunt, At times an asshole but one thing I can promise, I'll never lie.
advice
Please can you tell me how to get rid of sore throat pain? This has been going on for three days!
I know this is going to sound a bit terrible but I learned it when I was in NY at a Jewish camp back 7 years ago.
Tea and Honey (drink) or even better water with cayenne pepper (gargle). Maybe even try the old fashion salt and warm water gargle.
You could also try cough drops, They tend to sooth the pain of a sore throat.
Avoid drinking milk, It will only cause more phlegm which will irritate a sore throat worse then it already is. Also avoid spices!
Best of luck! I hope you feel better soon.
19F
So the past few years I've slowly began to accept the fact I am interested in both men and women. Not a lot of people know this, only my best friend and my boyfriend know. I really would like to tell my family, because it sucks not being myself and hiding a part of who I am from them. My father is a huge religious nut, he is very strict and self righteous, which I don't mind, I mean, it's his life.
But, he always sits and bashes and says rude things about people of other orientations, saying it's a sick abomination, his work had a float in the LGBT pride parade, he was disgusted and refused to take part. I've been thinking of coming out and telling him, part of me likes to believe he'd become more lenient and accepting, but the other part of me knows he's be disgusted and disappointed in me, it scares me and I don't know what to do, it took me forever to tell the people I told and I just want to stop hiding.
I'm going to be honest, If your father doesn't except people of different backgrounds then he may have a hard time excepting yours.
I don't know how your relationship is with Mom or if you have any siblings that you could talk too. However, Your best bet is to maybe talk to someone who is close with both you and your father that may be a bit more excepting. Perhaps an Aunt or an Uncle you could talk too, Maybe the will be willing to sit down with you when you tell your father.
Another good way to tell him is to try and write a letter and leave it somewhere he can read it on his own time. What you can add to the letter if you decide to do so is; "I've wanted to tell you this for awhile now but I feared judgement, I did nor do I want you to be disappointed in me as I love you and you are my father but ____________ I hope you can accept me and who I am as a person. When you are ready I am hear to listen if you need or want to talk about this subject"
This gives your father time to think it over and hopefully come to terms with the situation. This always gives him time to think of what he will say.
Good luck
Would you trust your significant other if they were living with their Ex boyfriend/girlfriend?
My boyfriend is still living with his ex girlfriend.. he claims they are just best friends and hes just living with her because their contract isn't up till october and he doesn't want to leave her stranded paying for the whole rent. They don't stay in the same room, but I don't know if I can trust them. He told me he was living with her and they were broken up a little while after he met me. He says that he can't put her out on the street.Should I trust my boyfriend that still lives with his ex-girlfriend?
That's absolute bullshit
A lease is a signed contract, If he was on the lease and signed it although he would be held responsible if he decided to leave he would still have to pay a portion of the rent either way until the lease is up. So that excuse to still live there because he doesn't want to leave her stranded is a complete lie.
Also no, I would most definitely not want to be involved with someone who was still living with an ex. It is completely not acceptable in my eyes, Like Rahzie said below, Unless he had immediate plans to pack his shit the same day they broke up and move out I would not get involved. You can trust a person but you just need to know where it draws the line and that's crossing it in my eyes.
Ok me and my boyfriend have sex, I am 9 days before my period.. He nut In me 2 times.. Can I be pregnant? How long before ur period can u get pregnant?? Somebody help me
The thing some people tend to get confused is that there is no "date" to get pregnant. Pregnancy can happen at any time, Even while you are on your period it is still possible.
I think it would help if maybe you read up on some stories of how people became pregnant to get a better understanding of how this all works.
Anyway, Like I said there is no special date.
I am a young adult now. I am not independent. I dont know how to pay bills and how to live when i move out and live by myself. So, anyone please tell me what to do first when i move out? What all do you have to do and go before you move out? I wanna be independent. Is it very hard?
Living independently nowadays is pretty tough, As I suppose the economy has a lot too do with today's struggles.
Paying bills is pretty simple. Here's an example;
If your electric bill came in for 150.00, Then you would write a check and send it in the envelope that the electric company mailed you and then you mail it out and the bill is paid in about 3 days or so.
So basically say you are looking at an apartment that would be $800.00 rent with heat and hot water included. That apartment will probably end up costing you about $1200.00 every month.
You would figure you also have to pay
Electricity
Food
Cable
You would figure the apartment is always another $400.00 more then the actual price. Unless somehow you luck out and all utilities are included.
This may seem a bit unbearable but it's honestly not as hard as it seems. As long as you are working a steady job then you should be okay. You could always try and find a friend that is willing to room with you where you can share the bills. It's a step by step process where you kind of learn as you go. When I moved out it took me about 3 years to finally get it down and learn to budget.
Hi, we have been dating for 2 years. we love each other and we live together. he's a single father. he's defensive of his ex (well, that's what i reckon) and when i refer his ex girlfriend as an ''ex'' he says he doesn't think of her as his ''ex'' he says, she's the mother of his child and i say but she's still your ex because they broke up long time ago. so, guys my question is, is he still loves his ex or what is it? thank you all.
No matter what, He will always love his ex on some level. This is the mother of his child. Now as far as "loving" her this meaning many vary to basically loving her as a person, a mother to his child and loving her in a way where she gave him that child. This doesn't mean he has strong feelings towards her in a romantic way nor does he want to be with her.
A child is a very sensitive subject for many people but it gets even intense when someone shows signs of jealousy towards the ex. The jealous is more offensive as they are the other parent of the child. Meaning, If you insist she is an ex, While you may have a valid point in your statement he sees her as the mother of his child.
As I'm sure you understand that his child will always come first, His ex will not come before you unless it is regarding his child being in danger. Remember, YOU are his girlfriend not his ex. Like I've always said an ex is an EX-ample of what we've done wrong. ;)
I work in a laboratory. Here one of our great benefits is getting free health care! They are now offering the IUD to women for birth control for free. I would like to know what the good and the bad are on this? I am currently on the depo and have been for over a year, before that I took birth control pills. Any info would be great! Thanks(:
Hello,
From personal experiences the IUD was probably one of the best birth controls I've experienced. It is changed once every 5 years, It must of worked because I never got pregnant. I however did use both double protection and used condoms also.
I was also on the Depo Provera shot and I wouldn't recommend it too anyone. After about 2 years, I ended up gaining a significant amount of weight from it.
The only down side with the IUD I had was my cycle was never again the same. I got off the IUD 3 years ago and I've yet to have a normal cycle. So, I think I would really all depend on the person as each has their own experiences with different things.
Here is a informative link about the cons/pros of the IUD; http://www.fitsugar.com/Pros-Cons-IUDs-Birth-Control-Paragard-vs-Mirena-16697501
I've come up with several names but I can't decide what to call him. Dribbles, Peachum, Gatsby. What sounds the best?
Out of the 3 I like Dribbles. Gatsby would be my last choice..
For about, maybe... 1 Week, I have been going to this camp that my friends have been going to. And let me say... I've been hit on a lot. But not as bad. Im just going to sum up this story.
On the first day, I was called "Sexy" and "Hot" a lot. I wasn't really worried about it. And then this guy, he's a year older then me (Im 14), started getting really... "Colorful" with me. He started with just messing with me, and then it got to touching. I was laying down, just chillin', and he came over, and he got super close to me, and he whispered "I would f***ing do it with you."
And then that hit it off. He's been touching me, name calling me, and attempting to get with me. It's actually freaking me out, because one of my "friends" told him where I lived. And this guy is almost 3 feet taller then me, he's way stronger then me as well, he could easily rape me, no problems. That's why I'm so scared about this. I'm not good with words, and I'm afraid if I say something that'll make him upset, he'll freak and go to my house. x I've stopped going to the camp, but I really need help on this. I dont know where to turn.
What should I do?! What should I say?!
The right thing to do is to let an adult at the camp become aware of the problem.
This boy has crossed the line and is harassing you like you said and the problem should be addressed. It is highly inappropriate to just confront someone the way he did, I would take his actions as a threat and report him immediately.
You can also let your parents know what happened also.
Hi, I'll try to make this as short as possible and get right to the point. My boyfriend and I have been dating for six months and we're completely in love with each other. He has a lot of friends that are girls, which is not a problem of course since we trust each other. But, lately, this girl has been really attached to my boyfriend. She keeps leaving him comments on his facebook that are paragraphs saying she loves him, he's her "bestie" and is always there for her, etc. The thing is that I've only met her twice and I'm always with my man since we live together, so when did she suddenly become best friends with him?
That's not what has me jealous, though. A few days ago my boyfriend told me that this girl wants to use him to make her estranged husband jealous. She's been tagging my bf in posts, saying she's at his house "as usual" and that my bf is giving her money and they're getting matching tattoos. We have a lot of mutual friends, so I have a lot of friends hitting me up asking me if my man is cheating with this girl. i think it's immature no matter who the man she's using for it is. I mean, come on, she's in her thirties and she's using Facebook to make her husband jealous?! Ugh. So my bf asks me two nights ago if it's okay for her to write his name on her ring finger with hearts, and for him to do the same on his ring finger with her name. Then they want to take a pic of it, post it on Facebook, and make her husband think they're tattoos. I said I didn't want him to do it, it's stupid and disrespectful to me as his girlfriend. I'm being humiliated with y friends thinking he's sleeping with her. Of course, though, i look like the big bad bitch for saying no. My bf said that I can't take a joke.
Sooo my question is.. Am i right to be jealous over this? I mean it may not seem like a big deal but I'm a laughingstock to my friends right now who think he's cheating on me with her. When i'm not with him and she puts up statuses saying that she's laying in bed with my boyfriend I can't help freaking out thinking is it true? I think she's being very disrespectful to me as his girlfriend, but am i right to think that? Should I confront this girl? She's very pretty, which also puts me on edge due to my own insecurities, bu she's also very obnoxious and cocky. She thinks she's the hottest thing on earth. I just don't know what to do! My bf says he doesn't like me getting jealous but i never get jealous over his friends.. It was only when this girl started texting/calling constantly, leaving those facebook messages (she constantly refers to him as baby and says i love you.. my family sees that), and now this STUPID ring thing. Am i right to be upset, or am I overreacting?
Relationships have boundaries and your boyfriend has just about broke each and every one of them. If I were in your shoes I would be down right pissed to see he is actually feeding into this. Maybe he isn't exactly cheating physically but emotionally he is leading you on and he is also feeding into her drama and may end up giving her exactly what she wants. Some people never grow up despite their age, You can be 30-40 or even 50 some people are just simply drama.
The best thing I could recon is to leave him. This man has already betrayed you, broke your trust and it amazes me just how much stupidity he has to actually go along with her crap. The right thing he should of done was to simply tell her no and not get involved.
It's not physical but it's cheating in my eyes and it's time to move on. This man doesn't deserve you and you don't deserve him.
lets call my friend D.
here's our conversation-ps: im keeping the fact that she had sex and shes 12 a secret. im 13)
D: dont tell anyone
me: i know i know.
D: even R -her friend- doesnt know.
me: ok. i dont get it. im secretly friends with both of you. im friends with you but she cant know. and im friends with her but you cant know. why cant we all be friends?
d: because we dont like you.
this made me cry because it hurt me because they're my only friends and schools starting soon.:( i have a disorder where the slightest insult wouldmake me cry. im not sure what its called, but this expecially hurt me. what should i say to her? I was going to say-
if you dont like me then you shouldnt have told me you had sex. it'd be too bad if i accidentally emailed those to everyone, huh?
but that sounds dumb, doesnt it? i just feel so upset because of her.
Honestly, Ignore her.
This girl is young, She doesn't even know what sex is and ratting her out isn't going to benefit you nor is it even going to give you the satisfaction you want.
There will always be kids out there that are mean, drama filled and like to piss on others. If she doesn't like you or want to be your friend then fine. Block her, Move on and meet friends who will like you.
If people want to try and make you feel bad then just simply block them and do not respond to them. Responding is feeding into the problem and will do nothing but provoke them and make the problem worse. Really, Who cares if she had sex. This girl isn't doing anything to be proud of, In fact she just made a real dumb choice at her age and I'm pretty sure you know that too. Having sex at 12, Is most certainly nothing to be proud of and if she wants to continue making bad choices then let her learn a lesson the hard way by ruining her reputation.
Focus on you, Move on and meet new friends who will value your friendship. Crying over childish drama is only giving them what they want. They are looking to tick you off and get a reaction out of you. Be the bigger person
Hey, 17/f
Basically I have a bit of a problem with talking to the opposite sex. You see, a relationship two years ago (over in 5 months) only came about because I talked to a guy, and he took it as me leading him on abit.
So now, I cant really have a conversation in class with any guy because I'm worried they'll think I fancy them. So basically in class I ignore the guys and talk to the girls. However, this cant continue as I'll be in a v.male class next year and they'll think I'm odd.
So How do you talk to guys without them thinking you fancy them?!
Thanks
Perhaps it's the way you are approaching them? Most people's first judgement is actions. Like the person said below try not to talk to them in a flirty tone. When you talk, be causal about it. I know where you are coming from, It seems like everyone just automatically jumps to assumptions these days. If someone tries to flirt with you, You don't have to be rude about it but just remain casual and respectful.
Unfortunately there will always be those people who will just keep trying to push limits and those are the ones that either need to be told to back off a little or ignored. :/
i am a 21 year old girl and i'm bi-curious. i've been bi-curious for a long time.. i masturbate to girl-on-girl porn, i think girls are hott, etc. i know i'm not fully bi, though, bc i can't see myself actually being in a relationship with another girl. i just wanna fool around and see what it's like to be with a girl. i think the female body is really beautiful and i wanna just see what it's like to be with a girl. i'm terrified of rejection so i don't wanna just walk up to girls at the bar or something and say hey wanna hook up? i was just wondering how to find a girl that would just wanna fool around with a bi-curious girl that wants to see what it's like. am i a sicko for wanting that?
The best way would be through a friend or a friend of a friend. The reason I suggest so is because you already have a bond with a friend then you would a complete stranger. If you are looking to hook up then you should try and find someone you are comfortable with.
No, You are not a sicko at all you are completely normal.
I was thinking that my ex-wife was such a b**** that at 3 am I would stand on her front lawn screaming the Christmas song must be santa in the middle of July what do you think
No, You will make a complete fool of yourself.
Standing on her lawn singing Christmas songs at 3am is harassment and can lead to you being arrested for also disturbing the public.
I also agree with the other user, You will give your ex wife the wrong impression. If you truly moved on from her then you would leave her alone and do more productive things with your time.
If it's not your ex wife that will call cops it will definitely be one of the neighbors. Don't do it
ok so my friend is 12 (im 13 we're like 3 months apart) and today she was going on about how this boy, lets call him O and her D, wants to have sex with her. you know what? here's the REAL conversation.
D:omg O wants to have sex with me!!
me: but eww you guys r too young and noones gonna sell condoms to you guys!
D: O has pulls, duh.
me: no D its a really bad idea youll be known as a slut.
D: WHO CARES ive liked him for 5 yrs.
me: so? you arent even dating him!!!!
D:what ever you dont get it.
me: yeah i do.
D: at least ive had a one night stand.
i havent replied to her yet but i dont want her to screw up :( i want to email it to her parents soo bad but i dont know what to do. and i really want to reply, THATS NOT A GOOD THING. i think you are screwing up your life and i swear ,D if you do have sex i think ill just breakdown because i just cant deal with the fact that one of my friendds has had sex 1. because your gonna screw up your reputaion and your gonna get in trouble for sure.
2.i cant let you.
You may want to confront her parents about your concerns for her. From the sound of it she isn't going to listen to you no matter what you say.
Also, She is way to young to be having sex with boys at that age. The age to consent to sex in many states is 16. It is unlawful and wrong to have sex at the age of 12.
I think it's really caring of you to be concerned for her and I would confront her parents privately about this matter. It's better to be concerned for her then to watch her make the biggest mistake of her life.
(I'm sorry, this is going to be long...but I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read it)
I let myself develop deep, deep feelings for someone...who already has a girlfriend...normally it would have been , "Oh well, he's taken. Next!" but not this time. This time, my feelings took over me. Whether or not I was going to try to break them up was never an issue, and still isn't. That's not who I am, and I will never attempt such a selfish act. So, I told him how I felt, but also told him that I'm not looking to sabotage anything and then we continued to be his friend as usual...
But here's where it gets a little trickier...I'm very, very sure that he has strong feelings for me too. And I'm not saying this because of how I feel for him. There are definite signs. (before I go on, I want to say that I have NOT 'thrown myself' at him or anything like that...in fact, I have told him again and again that I want him and his girlfriend to remain together) He wants to spend a lot of time with me, he's always texting me, sometimes late into the night, he is playful, flirtatious and subtly touchy feely with me, (not like "groping" or anything) and tons of other basic "he likes you" signs...plus, he has dropped several hints that his relationship has been on the rocks and that he is unsure of how it will go...he has said that he loves his girlfriend, but has never once mentioned that he is *IN* love with her...now I'm not saying that automatically means that he's not in love with her, it's just a possibility is all...but there are just so many possibilities right now, and it's been emotionally draining...and believe me, it's not like I haven't tried to look for other men, and I've definitely kept my options open, but it's pretty slim pickin's where I live...that's not me being picky, either, it's just how it's been luck-wise...the man I currently have feelings for is quite rare, in that we have so much in common, and the fact that he is a good person.
I have such a strong, strong connection with this man, and he has even agreed with me on that. Now, I know a very easy answer to this for some people might be, "he's a player" blah blah blah...but I don't believe that is the case...again, another easy answer from me because of my feelings for him. We've known each other for quite awhile, and he is a very, very caring, compassionate person, and he has never once made an actual "move" on me...he's just not the 'cheating type'...I think if that is all he wanted, or if he were the type to "cheat", he would have tried to do it with me by now.
I'm so confused and emotionally exhausted...There's part of me that wants more with him so very badly, then there's another part that feels guilty and selfish for doing so, because I don't want anyone to get hurt in any of this...so what am I asking in all of this? I don't know...I suppose part of me is venting and just wanting someone to listen...
I do ask that people be kind in answering...I'm NOT looking to be coddled or have sugar-coated answers, but please, no mean, smart-ass remarks or unnecessary pessimism.
Apart of me is a bit confused
You stated you did not want to sabotage his relationship but you went ahead and freely expressed how you felt knowing he was in a relationship with someone else? This right here is the beginning of putting his relationship at risk. Although it wasn't your intention if you didn't want to come between that then it would of been best to keep your feelings to yourself.
Another thing, You state this man is not a cheater. However if he is directing strong signals at you then maybe that isn't physically cheating but it most certainly is leading his current girlfriend on. Technically, He is playing with her feelings. If he is willing to play his current girlfriend then what makes you think for one second he isn't capable of doing it again?
Maybe in your mind he is the perfect catch but he seems to already to be showing his flaws by not being honest with his girlfriend. This man is also allowing his feelings to get in the way. I'm not being pessimistic but I'm being honest with you. Telling him that you want him to stay with his current girlfriend while after you expressed you had strong feelings towards him is sort of implying that you will be waiting on the side line and to give it thought. It is in no way supportive of his relationship, There are boundaries when it comes to respecting someone and hence there was no respect for his relationship there.
Now one last thing, I'm not saying not to date him if it doesn't work out with his current girlfriend but because you pretty much did come between his relationship I just hope it doesn't backfire down the line. Right now maybe the spark is there between the two of you but if anything does happen I hope he doesn't end up resenting you for breaking him up to begin with. Anything can happen , Nobody can predict what the future holds no matter how strong of a connection we may have.
The guy I've been off and on with for 3 years (mostly on with a few breakups)is not the perfect guy for me in just a few ways. All these ways have nothing to do with personality. He is addicted to rescription pills and just about any drug when he gets in his lows. I've constantly tried to help him but he always pushes me away and then comes back.Fact is, I was probably enabling him more than helping him back then.
Last time he relapsed (a month and a half ago) after going 90 days clean and being in rehab, I figured enough was enough and ended it. He keeps coming back here and then saying he still loves me. And it sucks cause I still am SO in love with him but know I can't be with him.
I'm just hoping for some advice on moving on. I know the first step is accepting the decision to and I'm having trouble doing that. I keep wishing that he would just get clean and we could be together. This guy is like perfect for me personality wise. We click so well and only ever fight about the drugs. Plus we have an insane physical attraction that I'm also missing :/ I feel like I'm never gonna get through this. I just really really crave to be happy again. I can't stand this pain :(
I believe you are the same person who asked a similar question awhile back?
Honestly, You need to just leave him. This guy isn't helping himself and you just can't help him. It is time to except that, You cannot help someone who doesn't want to be helped.
His problem will drag you down, His begging for you to come back into his life is only going to do you both more harm then good. If you want to help him, Then move on. Hopefully a piece of reality will get him to clean up his act.
If you crave to be happy so badly, Then move on and meet someone who isn't hooked up on pills. I'm not trying to be an ass but you are just wasting your time hoping he will change. Maybe he will, Maybe he won't but in the meantime you need to focus on YOU. You also have a life too live and you need to stop allowing him to hold you back because as long as you crawl back to him you are missing other opportunities in your life.
Post graduate degree holder... Did not get nay job for the last 4 years... My all attempts are failure at end...I am very upset and disappointed...Pls anyone help to recover from this problem...
Unfortunately this isn't you, It's the status of the economy. Many people are having hard time finding jobs even those who attend college and have degrees end up finding themselves working low end jobs. It's disappointing I know, Everyone is in the same boat.
I have a college degree also and I am currently working at Walmart. The only way to really get yourself out of the hump is just to try and apply anywhere that may hire you even if it's not a job you want. Fast food places are usually hiring and once you get in there you can try to apply elsewhere and hope for the best.
hi my name is ashey im a girl im 11 and i was wondering what should i do i wanna hav sex so badbut i dnt wanna get pregnant, i no ppl say use condoms but they still get u pregnant.. and i dont find any lesbians to do it with...... please help me......
I don't know if this is a serious question as we had another question very similar from a girl named "Jazzy" but this is not the site to be looking for someone to hook up with nor should you be having sex at such a young age. In many states the age to consent is 16, You are too young and need to stop thinking about sex!
Sex is not a sport or something you do because you are bored. You as an 11 year old should be thinking about school, friends and things an 11 year old should be thinking about. Trust me, Sex at your age will only be a bad thing later on. Stop worrying so much and just be a kid because you only get to be a kid once. Leave the adult stuff for when you are in High School.
My boyfriend is a US Marine, therefore i barely see him. He was here for the past week, and we had sex up to 5 times every single day, extremely rough sex too. He left 2 days ago, and i realized that i have a very bad cut on my inner labia, its a tear. When i looked down today with a mirror, i realized i had all these small, skin colored bumps that are sensitive to the touch. My vulva is also really swollen. I've also been shaving every single day since he's been here, and theres been a lot of rough grinding and whatnot. He told me he gets STD screens often, and he's clean. And i got a pap smear about a month ago, and the gyno said everything looked normal. I read online that it could be blisters from really rough sex, or could this be herpes? help please!!
None of us are doctors, We cannot give you a diagnosis.
It could be bumps from ingrown hair but I am not really convinced this is the problem as you said you had "all" these small colored bumps which sounds like something else.
I would definitely make an appointment with your OBGYN as it could be something more serious.