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Am I being too jealous?


Question Posted Sunday July 22 2012, 11:21 am

Hi, I'll try to make this as short as possible and get right to the point. My boyfriend and I have been dating for six months and we're completely in love with each other. He has a lot of friends that are girls, which is not a problem of course since we trust each other. But, lately, this girl has been really attached to my boyfriend. She keeps leaving him comments on his facebook that are paragraphs saying she loves him, he's her "bestie" and is always there for her, etc. The thing is that I've only met her twice and I'm always with my man since we live together, so when did she suddenly become best friends with him?

That's not what has me jealous, though. A few days ago my boyfriend told me that this girl wants to use him to make her estranged husband jealous. She's been tagging my bf in posts, saying she's at his house "as usual" and that my bf is giving her money and they're getting matching tattoos. We have a lot of mutual friends, so I have a lot of friends hitting me up asking me if my man is cheating with this girl. i think it's immature no matter who the man she's using for it is. I mean, come on, she's in her thirties and she's using Facebook to make her husband jealous?! Ugh. So my bf asks me two nights ago if it's okay for her to write his name on her ring finger with hearts, and for him to do the same on his ring finger with her name. Then they want to take a pic of it, post it on Facebook, and make her husband think they're tattoos. I said I didn't want him to do it, it's stupid and disrespectful to me as his girlfriend. I'm being humiliated with y friends thinking he's sleeping with her. Of course, though, i look like the big bad bitch for saying no. My bf said that I can't take a joke.

Sooo my question is.. Am i right to be jealous over this? I mean it may not seem like a big deal but I'm a laughingstock to my friends right now who think he's cheating on me with her. When i'm not with him and she puts up statuses saying that she's laying in bed with my boyfriend I can't help freaking out thinking is it true? I think she's being very disrespectful to me as his girlfriend, but am i right to think that? Should I confront this girl? She's very pretty, which also puts me on edge due to my own insecurities, bu she's also very obnoxious and cocky. She thinks she's the hottest thing on earth. I just don't know what to do! My bf says he doesn't like me getting jealous but i never get jealous over his friends.. It was only when this girl started texting/calling constantly, leaving those facebook messages (she constantly refers to him as baby and says i love you.. my family sees that), and now this STUPID ring thing. Am i right to be upset, or am I overreacting?


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musicmaniac94 answered Monday July 23 2012, 6:11 pm:
Your boyfriend and his "friend" have a lot of growing up to do. If he really loved you, he wouldn't be doing this to you. You have every right to be upset. You need to tell him how you feel about this. He's your man and your "property"( I'm using that lightly) and this "friend" should keep her boundaries. It sounds like she wants your boyfriend and will do whatever it takes to get him. She needs to grow up and deal with her problems like a grown woman and keep your boyfriend out of them. You need to let him know how you feel about this situation and if he can't respect your feelings and how this impacts you, then sweetie, he needs to go. I'm sorry if that seems cruel but why should you put yourself through so much pain? i hope this helps.

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lightoftruth answered Monday July 23 2012, 5:51 am:
Wow this girl and your boyfriend are extremely immature. You have a right to be upset about this. You don't need to be jealous, just upset and angry about it.
If he's going along with this, and posting it all over facebook, it's embarrassing you and making him look either like a jerk or extremely stupid.

Confronting the girl would probably be a waste of time. Your boyfriend is the one who is going along with this crap. They are both acting like they are in middle school.

So bottom line, this is extremely disrespectful to you and you shouldn't stand for it.
Talk to your boyfriend again and tell him that you don't like that he is doing this and list the reasons. Make sure you're calm about it. If he tries to start an argument just tell him that this "joke" is something kids in middle school would do.
You deserve better than that.

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Xui answered Sunday July 22 2012, 11:18 pm:
Relationships have boundaries and your boyfriend has just about broke each and every one of them. If I were in your shoes I would be down right pissed to see he is actually feeding into this. Maybe he isn't exactly cheating physically but emotionally he is leading you on and he is also feeding into her drama and may end up giving her exactly what she wants. Some people never grow up despite their age, You can be 30-40 or even 50 some people are just simply drama.

The best thing I could recon is to leave him. This man has already betrayed you, broke your trust and it amazes me just how much stupidity he has to actually go along with her crap. The right thing he should of done was to simply tell her no and not get involved.

It's not physical but it's cheating in my eyes and it's time to move on. This man doesn't deserve you and you don't deserve him.

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mercury answered Sunday July 22 2012, 12:31 pm:
Take it out on him and then on that b....!He's been really disrespectful and immature! I don't know how you can put up with this situation so cooly,last night I practically threw a tantrum because my boyfriend stared at a girl who was sitting next to us in a restaurant.If I were you I would've dumped him.Wake up honey!

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Razhie answered Sunday July 22 2012, 11:57 am:
You are right to be upset that your boyfriend, who you probably think it's a cool, smart and sensible guy, is not only letting this weirdo use him in some immature game against her ex, but seems to be encouraging it.

It's sucky behavoir on his part. It's dishonest to all your friends and family, embarrassing and highly inappropriate.

In your shoes, I wouldn't be 'jealous', I'd be disappointed in my boyfriend for this behavoir. I'd be royally pissed at his huge lack of judgement.

Don't confront the girl. This isn't about jealousy and she really isn't the problem. Your boyfriend is the problem, so keep at him. This is, at best, exceptionally rude and disrespectful to you, everyone else you two know. He's embarrassing you publicly for the sake a grade-school-level kind of joke, and that needs to stop. He has no business publicly shaming you, and lying to everyone he knows, for some lulz.

If he can't understand that, then this isn't a guy you stay with long-term. It's kind of pitiful that he can't figure that out on his own, so please feel free to tell him as much.

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