Would you trust your significant other if they was living with an Ex?
Question Posted Saturday July 28 2012, 5:36 pm
Would you trust your significant other if they were living with their Ex boyfriend/girlfriend?
My boyfriend is still living with his ex girlfriend.. he claims they are just best friends and hes just living with her because their contract isn't up till october and he doesn't want to leave her stranded paying for the whole rent. They don't stay in the same room, but I don't know if I can trust them. He told me he was living with her and they were broken up a little while after he met me. He says that he can't put her out on the street.Should I trust my boyfriend that still lives with his ex-girlfriend?
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life? egreen88 answered Wednesday September 19 2012, 3:39 pm: I met a man about a month ago and we really hit it off instantly. Now I didn't think I found the one or anything but I was really looking forward to how far we would go. He defiantly seemed like the 'perfect' man. He's an engineer, he has a really nice place (that I thought was just his), he is a great cook, he is charming, he intelligent, et cetera.
With me working full time and attending grad school and with him working full time we only see each other Saturdays during the day time, but during the remainder of the week we talk on the phone every chance we get and if we are not talking we are texting. The other night I mentioned that we should have a sleepover this upcoming weekend so we can have more time together. I don't like only getting a few hours with him than having to wait a whole 6 days to see him again. At this point his tone changed and he states that his ex-girlfriend (that too my knowledge supposedly ceased to have a place in his life the past 3 months) still stays with him from time to time because she is not financially able to live on her own-_- Than he goes on this long tangent about how he doesn't want to lose me, he never met a woman like me, he sees me as a future wife, blahh, blahhh, blahh, blahh, blahhhh, basically BS. At that moment my stomach cringed and I felt used and mislead.
I slept on it before I gave my feelings so I would say the wrong thing. When I woke up I talked to my two best friends to get their perspectives about the situation. While it sucks to have to lose someone that I thought was the 'perfect' man I decided to let it go. I told him that I wasn't feeling it and to give me a call when she moves out. There are too many men in this world for me to invest my feelings and time into someone that another woman is invested into. Furthermore, I don't feed into that were living together for some type of benefit. That just means that for a few hours on Saturday out of a 7 day week he gets the benefit of laying up with me, but 7 nights a week he is under the same roof as her. Oh and I’m not oblivious to the fact that there is still some bumping and grinding. I'm not giving him the benefit of 'having his cake and eating it too.' [ egreen88's advice column | Ask egreen88 A Question ]
Erinn_the_bamf answered Wednesday August 1 2012, 9:18 pm: That's sketchy as shit my friend. I understand this is a shitty economy, and no one necessarily wants to back out of a lease and have to continue to pay rent, continuing to live with an ex while dating someone new is all sorts of unhealthy for the psyches of everyone involved. Tell him to call you when he's living with someone else. [ Erinn_the_bamf's advice column | Ask Erinn_the_bamf A Question ]
A lease is a signed contract, If he was on the lease and signed it although he would be held responsible if he decided to leave he would still have to pay a portion of the rent either way until the lease is up. So that excuse to still live there because he doesn't want to leave her stranded is a complete lie.
Also no, I would most definitely not want to be involved with someone who was still living with an ex. It is completely not acceptable in my eyes, Like Rahzie said below, Unless he had immediate plans to pack his shit the same day they broke up and move out I would not get involved. You can trust a person but you just need to know where it draws the line and that's crossing it in my eyes. [ Xui's advice column | Ask Xui A Question ]
Razhie answered Saturday July 28 2012, 7:17 pm: I wouldn't date someone who was still living with their ex, and had no immediate plans to move out.
Even if I really did believe that he was over his ex and there was nothing going on between them, I'd still be very concerned by the fact they decided to keep on living together. That's weird, and more likely than not, unhealthy. Even if he FELT he was ready to date someone else, I wouldn't be able to be with him on those terms, and I wouldn't be willing to wait it out till October. [ Razhie's advice column | Ask Razhie A Question ]
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