about

Hi I'm Dee. I'm 23 and married. I've worked in health care as well as office settings but am now a home-maker. I'm knowledgeable in a variety of subjects but don't mind doing a little research if asked about something I don't know about. Most of my friends come to me for advice. I read several advice columns and would like to help you also.

I'm not judgemental. Your life is yours to live it as you choose. I believe asking for advice is good, but ultimately the choice is yours. You WILL NOT find a hurtful or smartass answer here.

If you have a question that you would like to keep private, you can email me and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

advice

I am going to be a freshman this year, and I have just started talking to this guy. Well, He is going to be a junoir and i know him from my sister--who is going to be a senior.
I have started having feelings for this guy. We talk alot online, and he is really sweet. But there are two problems. 1)He has a girlfriend 2)He still see's me as a kid.
Now both of those are really..hard. Because I think he see's me more of a little sister, then a friend. And it is so tough to deal with. Because I know i am not brave enough to tell him how I feel. And I know he doesnt feel the same. What should I do?

First off, it's never good to poach another woman's man. Since you can't find the courage to tell him and you know he doesn't feel the same, I wouldn't make a move. I think you'll only end up getting your heart broke. Keep talking to him but try to put your feelings away. Maybe you can build this relationship into a friendship once he realizes you're not a kid anymore.

Good luck and best wishes.

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alright..there is this guy at my work that i used to like..but now i dont like him anymore and he still likes me and he stalks me everywhere..like at work, online, and we had this fun fest and he even stalked me there..and he freaks out at me when i say i have to go..he makes me real uncomfortable and he always stares at me..and everyone knos it.and im scard cause hes a weirdo..and me doesnt leave me alone! what should i do!? xo and im 14

Tell the guy firmly that you are not interested and to quit following you. If he continues following you, talk to your boss and your parents. What he's doing is wrong, not to mention against the law. You need to make sure the authorities know about it before he tries something else.

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I have some questions about mostly everyhting that has to do with pleasuring your partner. I'm a virgin and unexperienced. Okay here goes...

Once you get on birth control or take the pill or whatever, is it possible for your parents to find out eventually?

Can your gyno tell if you're on the pill or birth control?

What are whipped cream & strawberries used for; like where do you place them and stuff?

How can you get rid of the odor down there? Are guys actually enjoying the smell of it? And if possible, is there anything you can eat/drink to make the smell/taste better?

What are the best type of condomns? Most effective?

Thanks in advance.

First off, I'm glad you came to someone with questions rather than going it yourself. Many girls find theirselves pregnant or with STDs because they didn't take the time to explore the options first before jumping into that bed. With that said, I'll try to answer your questions as best as I can.

It is highly possible for your parents to find out eventually. The best thing you can do is be up-front with them about it. While they may not agree with your decision to have sex, they'll respect the fact that you came to them first and want to protect yourself. My mom had me put on the pill herself when I was old enough to start getting curious about sex.

Since your gyno is usually the one that puts you on the pill, yes they will know. It's usually a good idea to let any doctor know what pills you are taking since some medicines can counteract. For instance Amoxicylin (an antibiotic) decreases the effect of birth control pills.

Whipped cream and strawberries can be fun They can be put anywhere and licked off. They're usually not used for your first time though.

Try taking a shower before having sex and cleaning with an antibacterial soap. Make sure to rinse well so you don't get irritated. I usually don't recommend douching since it can push bad bacteria higher into the vagina and cause infection. It also destroys the good bacteria in your vagina so your body has less resistance to infection.

There are a variety of condoms on the market. Personally I prefer Trojans since I'm allergic to most of the other kinds. As long as you buy a name brand condom, they're all about the same effectiveness. Try finding one with a spermicide (usually nonoxynol-9) since this will kill any sperm that it touches.

Last but not least, talk to your parents or another trusted adult before making the decision to have sex. You can even drop a note in my inbox. I do not mind at all answering any questions you have. You can also go to your local health department or planned parenthood office. Make sure you know the dangers of having sex, not only pregnancy but also STDs, and how to protect yourself. These places often provide contraceptives at little or no cost in complete confidentiality.

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Me and my boyfriend went to the movies last week. Just me and him.

It sounds to me like he was wanting you to go farther than you're comfortable with and since you wouldn't, he didn't want to continue the relationship. Sex is a very personal choice, something each person has to make for theirselves. I applaud you for having the strength to say you didn't know rather than going for it because he wanted to.

If you have a strong relationship and he truly loves you, he'll respect your decision to wait on sex. Don't feel bad thinking you led him on. You had no way to know that he was wanting to go farther since you had only made out before.

I know it's hard but stand strong and don't have sex until you're ready. A true loving boyfriend will wait until you're ready and not try to blackmail you into it.

Good luck and best wishes.

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ok, i lost my virginity july 2004, the nxt time i had sex was July 2005 (a year later) after i was bleeding like crazzy, it was almost like i had my period for a few hours, eventually it stopped but it was kinda gross and i dono wat to think . . . gimme your advise PLEASE

It's common to bleed your second time or after an extended period of time after the first time you have sex. Since the bleeding stopped after a few hours I wouldn't worry.

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It was my week to feed the dog and I totally forgot because I got so caught up on going to a a carnival thing where "famous" people were going. I kept getting out of the house with my friends looking for good clothes and stuff like that, you know getting ready. So I TOTALLY forgot about the dog and left the poor thing with no food. I know it was my fault but I didnt want to get grounded from going so I blamed it on my brother. I told my mom that we switched weeks and we didnt. My brother will not talk to me because hes grounded for the rest of the month since the dog is sick. And it really sucks because its summer! Well I want to tell my mom that it was really my week but I dont know if I should. I am driving myself INSANE over this. Please helppp!!


Britt

Since your conscience is obviously going into overtime bothering you, the best thing you can do is come clean. First ask your brother if he'll forgive you then go to your mom and tell her it was you. It sounds hard but it will make your relationship better with your brother, ease your conscience, and show your mom that you're responsible enough to take responsibility for your actions.

Good luck.

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Is there a way to knwo if your cherry is popped? I am very active in sports and have been for over 6 years but i don't remeber randomly bleeding or feeling a pain down there liek a tear. I'm active with my boyfriend but not having sex... i just want to knwo if theres and easy way to know or if you just have to wait and find out

There's not always pain or bleeding when your cherry pops. Since you're active in sports, it's possible that it's already been poppped. Sometimes just riding a bike is all it takes. Short of going to the doctor to see if your hymen(cherry) is still intact, you'll have to wait.

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im 14/f...i feel like i sleep a LOT! like here's an average day: wake up around 10...take a nap from like 1 to 3 30...then get up and do whatever...then take another nap from like 5 to 6 30...then stay up until like 1 in the morning and go to bed and do it all over again the next day...is this normal or is there something wrong???

It's natural for you to be sleeping alot. Teens need 10-12 hours a sleep. Your body is going through a lot of changes right now and sleeping is your body's way of keeping up with them. If it's interfering with your life, try keeping your sleep to a schedule. Go to bed around midnight and sleep until 9, then take a 1-2 hour nap once a day. If this doesn't help, go see your doctor. Excessive tiredness could be a sign of low iron.

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This years camp play was supposed to be Annie. I wanted to be annie so bad! But the counciler said I was really good. So I got the part. The next day on stage I was getting my costume on. The tiny red dress, just didnt fit. It ripped in half! I mean I know im overweight but I have never ripped clothes before! What do I do to get a new dress? I cant buy one! The play is 3 nights! HELP!

See if you can repair the dress or have it repaired. A good seamstress can add fabric to the dress without it showing while also making it where it can be taken in if someone is wearing it and is smaller. Ask the counselor about getting one in a little bigger size. The counselors should realize that not everyone is the same size and make adjustments for that fact.

Best wishes on your play.

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I have a boyfriend named Banard. He farts.. IN PUBLIC! I love him and his farts, but not in public! I mean, I don't wanna be called names, because of him. And, my parents thinks it's soo unexceptable that he farts in public. How should I talk to him about this? What do I do?!?!? HELLPP MEE! PLEASE!



Signed,
Fartness Confused

Tell your boyfriend it makes you uncomfortable when he farts in public and ask him if he can restrict his gas to more private places.

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Saturday, I am going to the beach with my mother, father, brother, and dog. I bought extra towels, extra food, and extra toliet paper. I know that sounds weird but hey, you never know!. Anyways my problem is that I cannot find a cute bathing suit. I was hoping for a one peice with the lion king on it! Sounds cute to me!! Well My mother said that I have "outgrown" the lion king! Give me ideas for a type of bathing suit to wear!


Thanks Much!!!!!!
DORIS

You should go with what you're comfortable with. Many cartoon characters are popular with all ages. I'm 23 and still love Scooby Doo. lol Try doing a google search for lion king bathing suits.

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ok well i wanted to sell things ok ebay. im 15 years old and i wanted to sell like old pokemon cards and all that kinda stuff. what do i have to do to get started? do i need anything special

Have your mom set up a different account for you. That way you can deal with questions, etc with what you're selling and she won't have to.

Search ebay for items similar to what you're selling to get an idea of what prices are normal. If possible, put up a picture of the item. Items with pictures get more response since we all like to see what we're getting. Make sure to make your description appealing and informative. For example instead of just putting "Pokemon card" put "rare Pokemon card, like new condition, showing ______" (just fill in what the card shows). You can go to pokemon.com and click on trading cards, then click your set and view set list to get a list of the cards and how common they are. The more rare ones will draw more money.

Either set up a folder in your email for Ebay stuff or create a totally new account specifically for your Ebay items. That will help you keep track of what your items are doing.

Good luck.

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I am goin out with this kid and my friend likes him too I think I should tell her that I am goin out with him or should I not But we tell each other like every thing

I will RATED YOU HIGH
Please help mee

Always
Mee

It's better to tell your friend now so she doesn't make a move on him. If she tries to date him anyway even knowing that you're dating him, she isn't that great of a friend since no true friend would poach her friend's guy.

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Okay so i meet this boy. And he came to my house meet my family. But prior to this. We had talked and i told him to just say he was 16. Well then he told my mom that he was 16 and wud be 17 on july 19th. Which happens to be today. Well i forgot that he was kidding, and i completely took him seriously. And then when i was like oh happy birthday .. he goes. megan, that was fake member? And im like.. ohhh yeah shoot. But i seriously forgot. So what do i do, tell my parents or let them think its his birthday. Like right now we really have something that will probably turn into a serious relationship. So like what if we are still together next year.. or on his REAL birthday. (march) what do i do? Tell my parents or no? -- I dont want them to think hes a liar. cuz he not. But we just didnt want my parents to be guy about it cuz im only 14. i'll be 15 in 6 days tho. (for real)

..HELP SERIOUSLY.

I noticed you didn't say how old he really is. If he's older than 17, it would probably be best to tell your parents up-front. They may not like it but it'll be worse if they find out you and your boyfriend lied about it.

Good luck.

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i am a 14/f and i am the oldest from my sisters. well my parents are Over protective like the other day i went outside to take a walk with my sister and my mom made my dad come after uis. but anyways i have a boyfriend (Which i am not supposed to have) he is 15 and i like him a lot. but i need to get a way so that i can get out of the house and spend sometime with him with my parents bein able to trust me.. they always think i am up to something bad and they think my boyfriend is only a friend of mine. he lives about a 15 minute drive away from me and i want meet up with him how can? and if i get my friend to go to the mall i dont want her to be left behind because he will be with me and if he brings a friend my friend wont like him because she only likes italians... so yea i really some help. please.

Your parents are just looking out for you. Since they think your boyfriend is a friend, ask them if he can come to your house to watch a movie. If they agree, wait a while after they've got used to him being around and then tell them you think you like him. They'll appreciate your maturity in coming to them first and probably let you continue seeing him.

Good luck.

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what are some cute, but somewhat original boy/girl names? thanks in advance for your help!

Most ordinary names can be made original by changing the spelling. For instance my niece is named Apryl and adopted nephew is named Jasyn.

Names that are also places can also work. If I have a boy I plan on naming him Austin Dakota. Other options would be Carolina, Georgia, Paris, London, Dallas, etc.

Try doing a google for baby names or look in books for different names. I got my girl's name from 2 books, Kiernan Celeste.

Good luck.

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Okay I’m 15 and I weigh 110 and I’m 5’6 is that to skinny? I don’t think it is but some people say that is and I wanna gain some pounds. And I want it to show I just maybe wanna get to like 120 at least. If anyone knows any good ways of gaining some pounds please let me know what they are. Also will you tell me from the information I gave you up top does that sound like I’m skinny or is it fine? Thank you so much!!

*K

You are a little underweight but not much. 120 will put you in the healthy range for your body but I wouldn't go more than 5 pouns past that.

Try exercising more. I know it sounds weird if you're trying to gain weight but muscle weighs more than fat so it's a healthy way to add pounds.

Adding more carbohydrates (breads, pastas) to your diet will help you gain weight. Just make sure to make them healthy carbs such as whole grain bread.

Hope this helps. Good luck and best wishes.

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hey♥ i have been with Tim off and on since february vacation but at the end up may we started actually getting close and can talk about anything now. we have been goin out and we hangout alot ( we`ve already had sex, so dont critisize) but today i noticed he asked me something that i was sort of worried about before. me and him were sitting at dunkin donuts and he was like " do you seriously love me" and he was the first guy i have ever said it to and i said of course i do, alot and i told him he has no idea what he means to me, then i asked why? and he was like i love you and like you alot, and sometimes i think you dont and your randomly gunna not like me and break up with me. it was so weird! like i dont understand why hed say that, should i be worried? then we were across the street outside and he was gunna go in and get something but these guys came out of a store and sat in there car and tim waited till they left to go in the store because he thought they would talk to me and id do somethin.. id never do that.. whats some ways i can show him how much i love and care?♥ thanksss!

Ok first off about the sex. I am not going to criticize you since this is a personal choice that everyone must make for themselves. However, I wouldn't feel comfortable with myself if I didn't at least mention to you that you need to protect yourself if you are having sex. If you have any questions on that, feel free to ask.

With that said, it seems to me that your boyfriend is feeling a little insecure. Try to figure out why that is. Has he had someone cheat on him before? Many men and women tend to judge their partners on what happened before. I myself was guilty of it. My ex cheated on me so it was a long time before my husband could convince me to trust a man again.

There's many ways you can show him you love him. Let him know that you've never told anyone that you loved them before. Giving him a hug or kiss and telling him you love him every time you see him is a good start. Find out what his favorite dinner is and surprise him with a candle lit dinner. Write him a little note telling him why you love him and slip it in somewhere he'll find it when he's not with you.

Give him a hug or kiss just because. When he asks what it was for, tell him just because you love him.

If he likes to work on cars, help him. Most guys know their tools enough that they can say get the long skinny thing with the big red handle (a screwdriver lol). Even if you don't get his tools for him, just talking to him and spending time with him are key. If nothing else, you can bring him a drink when he gets hot.

Take him on a romantic picnic. Pack a basket full of food, a CD of love songs, and a blanket and go somewhere you can be alone.

Make him a CD. This is a good one. My husband listens to his almost every day. Pick songs that have special significance to your relationship. Ex: your couples song, the first song you heard together, the first song you danced to, a song that tells him how you feel when you're with him, etc.

Make him a love box. Take an old shoebox, decorate it, and fill it with little notes on what makes you love him. Ex: his smile, the way he holds the door for you, the way he's always there for you, etc. Whenever he's feeling down or having doubts about the relationship, he can read one of the notes and be reminded of your love.

The following sites have thousands of ideas for couples to show their love. These are great resources I use myself when I can't come up with an idea to remind my husband I love him.

http://www.lovingyou.com/
http://www.romantic-tips.com/
http://www.theromantic.com/

Hope this helps keep your relationship going strong. Good luck and best wishes.

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So, about a year ago. I stole a little make up bag from a store. And ever since then i keep stealing more and more. && i cant help it. It's gotten worse ive stolen hundreds of dollars of makeup and hundreds more of clothes, you name it, i've stole it. When i see somethign, i dont feel like i ened money to buy it, because its so easy. One time i almost got caught, but i was lucky and got away with out gettin introuble. I thought for sure this stopped me. But then i stole something the next day. THen after that, i was in a wheel chair for being hurt while playin soccer. And that was 5 weeks that i havent stole when i was at the mall or ne store for that matter. (wasnt physically possible) well i was happy with myself. And today i went to the mall w/o crutches or a wheel chair for the first time in 5-6 weeks. Andi was all happy cuz i hadnt stolen nething, and i didnt steal ne clotehs. but then, i stole a neclace. I dont know what to do. :-/ HELP PLEASE?

Talk to you parents or another trusted adult. A constant need to steal can be a sign of a problem. You've already taken the first step by admitting you have a problem and also that you feel guilt. The next step is seeking help before you get yourself in trouble.

Good luck and best wishes.

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Sorry this is so long plz don’t pass it by
13/f
All my life I dreamed of being famous when I was six I wanted to be just like britney spears so when I was about 7 years old I joined chorus for about a year then I figured it just wasn’t for me you know so I quit then things kind of got bad between my parents so we didn’t really go to church anymore and then for about 3-4 years I played soccer was really really good at it then I quit that too when I was 11 and then my parents got a divorce and when I was 11-12 I took drama and acting lessons and now hear I am I’m 13 now and I really want to model I mean its like a passion for me I really want to be a model more than anything in the world because I figure it’s a good place to start if I want to be an actress when I get older so I want to be a model for like modeling clothes kids clothes and stuff you know I know I have the attitude to be a model I’m 110% happy with myself I think I’m pretty enough to do I have everything really but there’s one problem I don’t live anywhere near any modeling stuff or anything like that but I am about 3 hours away from Atlanta a.k.a A Town lol but and I just don’t really know where to start modeling or who to start modeling for does anyone have any ideas for me I really wanta reach my dream all my friends have already started on their dream I have a boyfriend who is an incredible gutair player friends how are amazing writers and are really smart but now more then ever I wanta reach my dream but I don’t know how and where to starts
PLZ HELP*
Oh yea I didn’t know what thins went under

Ok first off, you need to decide for sure what you want to do. Trying new things is helpful but can get expensive in the long run.

You don't necessarily have to live in a big city to be a model. The following site allows you to post pictures and a free profile. Modeling agencies often look at this site to find the person they need. Get a couple good quality pictures. They do not have to be professional pics, just clear. Post a face picture and a full body shot(clothed). Try not to go overboard on the makeup in the face shot; let your natural beauty shine through.

http://www.supermodelscouts.com/

Hope this helps. Good luck and best wishes.

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