I have studied psychology though I am not a psychologist or a licensed counselor of any sort. I'm an artist and writer and teach both to small private groups. I have worked with counselors by using art and writing projects at workshops to encourage people to open up, and I have been recommended by therapists to their clients to take my classes to help them understand more about themselves and what all is going on in their lives through art and writing. Though I'm not an art therapist, I use many tools from art therapy and my own experiences gleaned from counseling. I have always had the desire to help people and I do it in any way possible. Hopefully I can be of some help to many of you!
E-mail: susana182006-extra@yahoo.com
Gender: Female
Location: Virginia
Occupation: artist & writer/teacher of both
Age: 52
Member Since: November 27, 2005
Answers: 116
Last Update: February 25, 2006
Visitors: 15863
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16/F
Alright, so this is what is going down. I am going to ask this guy out, but the thing is, whenever I go to do it, he does something or calls one of his friends over. I am asking him out because he is incredibly shy and won't do it himself. But here is the other thing, his best friend asked him what he would do if someone, like me, asked him out. He said he would just wing it, but then a couple seconds later he said that he would say yes. I don't get it. I am really confused and a little pissed off, considering I tried to do this three times and each time it fell through. Is he just avioding the question, is he nervous about answering the question or does he just not like me at all? (link)
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OK, you say this guy is really shy. Maybe when a girl approaches him he doesn't know what to do or say so it's easier and safer for him to ask his buddies to join him. If his best friend asked him what he'd do if you asked him out and his answer was positive like it sounded it was, then I wouldn't worry too much about how he thinks of you. And, you obviously heard that he wouldn't mind if a girl asked him out. Meaning, he doesn't sound like the type of guy who would be offended by a girl asking him out. If you're truly interested in this guy and you're having trouble getting him alone to talk, you could always write him a sweet, SHORT note asking him if he would join you in going to the movies or wherever. If you think he's too shy to go out with you alone the first time, you could propose a second option in the note and ask him if he and his buddies would like to join you and your friends in some outing. In the note, simply ask him to call you sometime and include your telephone number so that he can choose to talk to you in private or not. You don't need to ask him if he'd go out on a date with you. Just come up with something you'd like to do with him and make your note a FRIENDLY gesture towards doing something together or with friends. You could pass the note to him in class, in the hall, or put it is his locker providing he has slits in the door like so many lockers do. Try not to give him this note in front of his friends. You don't want to embarrass him and give his friends a chance to tease him. Surely you can find some moment when he is alone to quickly pass the note to him? Give him a little while to respond. I wouldn't usually recommend a note for something like this, but it sounds as though this might be your only way to "talk" with him right now. See how he reacts to your note and then go from there. If he doesn't respond, then you'll know that you need to move on..find another interest.
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I just joined a club thats made up of adults who get together once a week and try out our public speaking skills on one another.
Well the first night I went a very well dressed, attractive, and intelligent man sat next to me. He knew I was nervous and was being so supportive and friendly.
I was absolutely convicned that this man must have been a doctor. He dressed like one and was SO nice like doctors are.
Well the next week he wasnt there and I talked to another one of the men. I asked him if (his name) was a doctor. Then the other guy started to laugh, and told me he was a financial advisor. He wanted to know why I thought he was a doctor and I said because of how he was dressed!
Well the next time I saw this man he was being very COLD towards me and barely looked at me.
He was also dressed down in Jeans!!
Now I think because of what I said that he thinks I'm a little gold digger or something. I also found out he's married so I feel like an even bigger idiot.
Should I apologize to him? I want him to be nice to me again. (link)
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First of all, I'd like to know what makes you think doctors (or anyone else for that matter) dress a certain way. Not a single one of my doctors dresses the same way in the office or in public. My neurologist has long hair and wears it in a pony tail! The reason I ask the above question is that you probably should look at this as a very important lesson on not judging people by their appearances.
Since you felt guilty about what you said, that could have distorted your image of this guy the next time he came in and you might have imagined that he was cold to you when perhaps he was just mingling with others or dealing with something personal. As far as finding out that he is married is no big deal. What you said to the other man in the group did not necessarily imply that you were after this guy! I'd go easier on yourself about that part for sure. Actually, I think you're being too hard on yourself in general. You made a mistake, one I'm sure you'll never repeat and you need to try to move on from this.
I'd suggest acting normal and just speaking to this man as though nothing happened because nothing really did happen! You can tell him how helpful he was to you your first attendance to this group and that you really appreciated it. If he continues to act aloof towards you, I'd just ignore it and hope that he'll work out whatever is going on with him. Just keep being nice and friendly. You have no idea if 1) he heard about your comment, and 2) if that really offended him. An apology may make YOU feel better, but what if it just confuses the situation? I'd play that one by ear and not jump the gun with an apology. For heaven's sake, you really didn't say anything wrong - just naive.
Another thing I'd remember is that many men from all sorts of fields can be supportive and friendly. This does not just apply to doctors. Again, do not assume/presume things about anyone. If you're interested in what someone does for a living, especially in this group, then just ask what their profession is and tell them yours. Strike up conversations with this. Wanting to know what people's professions are in this group is probably something that is very normal. Again, don't beat yourself up. Just learn from this and in the future, don't judge people on how they act towards you or how they dress.
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What kind of jobs are there for someone under the age of 13? even lke just volenteer jobs?! What could i do to take up some of my time on the weekends? (link)
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Try to think of some places that could really use volunteers. For instance:
--The Humane Society or the SPCA - animals need so much love and attention
--a nursing home - many of the elderly don't receive any visitors and young people are often welcome; talk to a supervisor and ask about different things you might bring to help entertain some of the folks
--a hospital - a children's ward might be great for you and the sick kids; you could take music, games, books, etc.; also, you could just ask what you'd be able to do around the hospital if you're not interested in working with other kids
--a center for abused women - often the women who stay in these shelters have their children with them; if you're allowed, perhaps you could be a true friend to some of these kids; just ask what you could do to help them through this time of turmoil
Other options are offering yourself up to your neighbors to do yard work, baby sitting, pet care, car washing, or just anything they might need done. You could make money doing this type of work, but you also may want to do it solely out of the goodness of your heart. Either way is just fine.
By the way, asking your school guidance counselor what other kids your age do to keep themselves occupied in good and healthy ways, might be really helpful.
Good luck. I'll bet you find something that will make you feel good and happy!
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What age do purbity starts for a boy. (link)
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Puberty for guys is a little later than girls. It starts anywhere between the ages of 10 and 15. However, everyone is different and it can start a little earlier...or later, and that's normal. This is a great site to check out questions from kids/teens about puberty. It answers just about everything you might want to know. One of the things you might want to click on first in this site is, under GUYS, click on "stages of puberty guys" and you'll find some pretty interesting and hopefully helpful info.
http://www.puberty101.com/
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I have my period and I need to work from 10-4. This isn't a problem in school because I can put pads in my backpack - no big deal. But at work I don't know what to do. If I put it in my purse that's no good, my purse gets left in an office that's not near the bathroom. any other ideas? thanks! (link)
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I don't mean to seem like I'm judging you for wearing pads. I'm not. Many girls/women prefer them. But how about trying tampons...OBs, for example, are tiny and easy to stash away almost anywhere. OK, but if you really prefer pads - and again, that's OK - then you might want to do one of three things:
1) dash into the office on your way to the bathroom if the office doesn't stay locked;
2) buy a SMALL, pretty zippered make-up bag at your local pharmacy and fold a pad or two and put them into the tiny make-up bag (depending on how thick they are). If you wear pockets, this would fit nicely in a pocket and no one would know what's in it, should he or she see it for some reason;
3) if the bathroom is a private workers' bathroom, then try putting a couple of pads in a pretty gift bag or even a small brown paper bag (like the kind you buy for brown-bag lunches) and put it on a shelf or in a cabinet, providing one or the another is available in the bathroom (this would probably work even if the bathroom is open to the public).
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what are good ideas for gifts for a kid 14 and he loves electronics now he already has a digital camera and also i dont have enough for an i-pod and he dosent want mp3 players so can you please give me some gift ideas it dosent matter if they are electronic or not but i just need ideas (link)
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Is this guy your boyfriend, your son, or nephew? That could make a difference. But I'll go on as if he's your boyfriend although, if not, the following ideas are mostly good for anyone.
If this guy likes to have prints from his digital camera and he doesn't have a special printer for that, you could always give him a gift card to a local camera shop where people can use their CD and have prints made from it. If he likes electronics and wants/needs additional equipment, cables, etc. for what he already has, maybe you could give him a gift card to his favorite electronics store. These ideas may not sound particularly personal, but they are thoughtful and it allows him to buy whatever he needs or wants, and if need be, he can combine the gift card with his own money or gift money he gets at Christmas. You could always wrap the gift card in a smallish box and put some personal things with it, like a poem you've written, candy that he likes, info on a subscription to an electronics magazine you might want to purchase for him, etc. Just ideas... Good luck and have fun doing this!
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alright yesterday i was at this park with a bunch of my friends and this kid that i started to like started flirting with me and i was freezing so he was like.. come down here we can cuddle and keep each other warm im like alright so i moved down and he put his jacket on me and was rubbing my tummy and stuff and then he started going up my shirt im like alright oh well nothing big really and then they had to leave and so did i so when we were walking up the path thing to get to the road he stopped me turned me around and started kissing me yeah sounds cute and shit i know i thought so too and then im friends with the kid that is living in his house now and was talking to him on the phone and stuff and then he was telling me how the kid was saying he didnt know if he liked me and that if he stuck with this other chick that was at a party we were at early he probably would've gotten more shit from her and then this morning i talked to that kid thats living with him again and he said that the other kid wouldnt wanna hang out with that other girl and stuff and would wanna hang out with me and i was like well .. then why did he say that last night hes like i dont know he was being stupid he doesnt wanna show his feelings or whatever and now i dont know what to believe.. please help .
x3 brooke
sorry soo long (link)
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If I were you, I'd be careful with this new guy. Sounds like he expects a lot from his "girl." Do you want to "give out," and will you feel good about that? Yeah, fondling sure feels good, but it sounds as though that happened awfully quickly and that isn't always a good sign. I'm sure your friend who lives with this guy is telling you the truth, but remember what he said the guy said the night before about wanting to be with a girl who he could have gotten more from. Do you want a guy who bases his decisions about who will be his girl on whether or not she'll give him more? Wouldn't you rather be with someone who likes you for you without thinking about how much he can possibly get from you? Again, just be careful. You don't want to be hurt. It sounds to me like this guy has the potential to be a jerk.
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How does anorexia and bulimia relate to psychology? (link)
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Eating disorders are illnesses with a biological basis and have extreme underlying issues and are more often symptoms of greater problems. A good site to know about will explain the illnesses (disorders) in a very easy way: http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/p.asp?WebPage_ID=294
A person suffering from an eating disorder needs counseling to resolve the issues that surround the disorder. There are many distortions that an eating disordered person views about him- or herself, life and environment.
Eating disorders are definitely ILLNESSES that are related to psychological issues. It is said that they are "illnesses and not choices." They then must be dealt with seriously and NOT ALONE!
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OK I am about 5'0 or 5'1 and I weight about 140 ilbs. Im big and I know. I want to get a flat stamach the fastest I can. I love coke but i am willing to give it up. I just can not stand water. So what is somthing I can drink? I do not like most vegies, but I love all kinds of fruit. I do not own a bike. I would be willing to walk alot each day but it needs to fit in between homework and computer time. I love the computer so like yeah. LOL. How many crunches should i do also? I rate 5's!
Thx! *** Michelle (link)
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First of all, losing weight "fast" is never a good idea. It's not healthy and more often than not, the weight comes back on.
Yep, I'd give up the Coke and not substitue any other soda for it. I know you say you don't like water, but if you think about how good it is for you and that it can help you lose some weight you'll eventually - believe me - like the whole idea of WATER! Try to get your priorities in order and think about walking as soon as you finish your homework, before you get on the computer. You don't have to walk for long - 20 to 30 minutes is good, but start slowly and build up, like begin the walking at about 10 to 15 minutes and walk at a normal pace. Be sure to do some stretches before you walk! You also don't need to walk every single day. My doctors have said repeatedly that walking 3 to 4 times a week is good for the body and losing weight, AND it keeps you from burning out on this (or any) exercise. When the weather is bad, try first walking, then running up and down steps - wherever steps are conveniently found (school or home, for instance) - again, stretch first. Even walking around and around your house is better than not doing it at all.
About being on the computer: Sitting for long periods of time at the computer isn't the greatest because your body is completely inactive. When you ARE using the computer, set a timer for about every thirty minutes or so, and get up and do some stretches. This will be good for your body because it will get you moving around instead of being a computer-potato!
Eat the veggies you DO like and definitely include fruit in your diet. It's often good to eat a piece of fruit an hour before a meal and then again before bedtime. Before a meal, it helps to fill you up. Fruit helps to rid your body of toxins and is a healthy night-time snack. If you like yogurt - and there are SO many to try these days, I'll bet you'll find a few brands/flavors that you like - eat it for a dessert or a snack (the flavored non-fat yogurts taste just great and are better for you). It's not only tasty, but it's good for you too. One way I like to eat yogurt is to put a carton in the freezer, and then let it sit a little while in the fridge or on a counter until it's a little less frozen (freezer - 1 to 2 hours or longer; fridge or counter - maybe 30 minutes to an hour). It's not ice cream, but man I love it this way and it's the closest thing I've found that tastes like ice cream (you can also buy frozen yougurt, but sometimes it's hard to find non-fat frozen yogurt). Another way to eat yogurt is to put it in a blender, add a little diet 7-up or Sprite, and some ice cubes. (You can add fruit such as bananas to strawberry or vanilla and it's great!) This makes a yummy drink and can be a good snack, or if eaten with something light, a nice breakfast or lunch.
Try doing some things like crunches and leg lifts but always start slowly before you begin any new exercise. (Do as many as feels comfortable. Do NOT buy into the "no pain, no gain"! You do NOT want to experience pain at all! If you begin to feel pain...STOP!) Both of these exercises are good for flattening the stomach. There are others, and you might want to look up exercises on the net, ask your doctor, or browse through books at a bookstore or the library. There are SO many things out there to help a person with getting started on exercising. You could rent a video/DVD or buy one that has good stretches, aerobic exercises, and strengthening exercises. Most of them have pretty cool music.
Do you know how to swim? Do you like swimming? Does your school have a swimming pool? How about a local recreation center or a YMCA? This is something you could maybe do before you go home as long as you're committed to doing your homework AS SOON as you get home.
As far as drinks go, again, I'd work on getting used to water. There are some flavored waters out there, but read the labels because a lot of them are filled with some form of sugar. You can also drink low fat or no fat milk. Research is showing that drinking about 24 oz. of low fat or no fat milk a day actually helps a person lose weight! There are some great no-caffeine herbal teas out there. Some are good cold and poured over ice. (Try Celestial Seasoning teas - there are a lot of good flavors.) Hot tea is another good thing to drink before a meal because it helps to make you fill up faster.
If you can, eat several (more than 3; 6 is recommended) SMALL meals a day. Even a piece of fruit, low-fat cottage cheese with a few crackers, carrot sticks, etc. can be considered a "meal" IF you eat several meals a day, including at least two small, but nutritional "real" meals with either all or most of the food groups included. Believe it or not, nuts and seeds are good for you and will provide a good snack. You can carry nuts and seeds around with you quite easily. Eat plenty of fibrous foods.
When buying food, look at labels and compare. Try to stay away from as much salt, sugar and SATURATED FATS as possible. Our bodies need certain kinds of fats so note that polyunsaturated and monounsaturated fats are good for you.
I know you can do this if you're determined. But please, please don't try to do this too fast and push yourself into a state of unhealth or even anorexia! Losing weight healthily takes determination, will, and patience. And one more thing, this may sound incredible or unbelievable to you, but thinking POSITIVE thoughts about yourself and envisioning yourself as healthy, slender and agile will help your state of mind. If we think negative thoughts or listen to them and take them to heart, we are jeapordizing our inner energy and strength.
Lots of luck to you!
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I just started a new job. Well one day I took my break and then came back down to work. I saw another one of the girls that I work with and asked her a question about whether or not we have to tell the manager if we are on our break. Normally I work night shifts and my supervisor is gone by then, that is why we have to notify the manager.
Well anyways this girl came up to me afterwords and said that our supervisor saw us talking, and had asked the girl what we had been talking about!!
I was relieved I hadnt been gossiping, and the girl told our boss the truth that i had asked a question about our breaks. So I wasnt in trouble. But the fact that she even asked what we were talking about made me upset.
Should I have reason to worry? (link)
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Either your supervisor is just the curious sort, or she saw some kind of concern on your face while asking your co-worker your question and thus was concerned that you had a problem, only wanting to help you with it if you did.
Doesn't sound like you have anything to worry about, but it is natural to be overly-conscious of what your boss thinks about you when you first start a job. Try not to worry and just keep doing what you're doing. And it is good to steer clear of work-place gossip (or ANY gossip for that matter). That's something a boss is definitely not going to approve of.
I'm sure all is well. Just try to relax and enjoy your job. Next time though, if you have a question that involves certain aspects of the job or what you're supposed to do in reporting things to the supervisor, you may want to ask her yourself. There was NOTHING wrong with what you did, but this supervisor may rather have you come to her for the "rules," or expectations, of the work-place. Still, don't hesitate to talk to your co-workers and try to make some friends. You'll eventually get the general idea of how to go about getting certain answers. And yes, your co-workers can certainly help you fit in. No reason to assume that you have to go to the supervisor all the time with questions. Actually, it's probably better that you don't - you don't want to become a nuisance - unless, again, it involves the supervisor and what you're wondering she expects of you.
Good luck with the new job!
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okay so my boyfreidn of a year and 2 months reallly likes snowmobiles n plays hockey and i wanna get hime somoething dealing wiht that for chiristmas... im filling a stocking with like a gas card(for hsi snowmobile)candy n idk wut else to put in there? any ideas plllllease help!! (link)
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It's nice of you to want to give your guy gifts that have to do with the things that are important to him in his life. Very thoughtful. The gas card is a great idea!
Does he already have a cool keychain for his keys to the snowmobile (or in general)? If not, you could try to find one that has something depicting one of the two sports you mentioned. If you can't find a keychain with anything that you like, then, if you can afford it, buy a nice-sized white metal (often pewter) or silver (cheaper, of course, than gold) charm of either hockey sticks, or a snowmobile, or something along those lines, and attach it yourself to a simple keyring.
Do you like to write? How about writing a poem that addresses him and his love of winter, snow, and winter sports?
Does he have a sense of humor? A cute and "silly," but practical, idea might be to include a sort of First Aid kit for a hockey player...or even a fan of snowmobiles. You probably know the exact kinds of things a hockey player may need if slightly injured - real first aid stuff and maybe some things that would "comfort" him. Of course you don't want to assume that he'll EVER BE injured, but it's almost inevitable that hockey players do get bruised up and sometimes bloodied! It's a hardcore sport! You could write a silly little note (or poem) that you could wrap around the "kit" saying why you thought he might need something like this.
Does he wear a winter hat when he's snowmobiling? What are his favorite colors? Do you think he could use a cool pull-on hat with his favorite colors? Or maybe really neat gloves made just for a person who goes snowmobiling? Surely, if these two sports are popular where you live, there is a sports store that would sell these things. Also, look around that sports store and see if there are any small items that have to do with snowmobiles and/or hockey that would be great stocking stuffers.
Is he old enough to drive a car? If so, maybe you could find a pair of dangling hockey sticks for him to use on his rearview mirror. (Look first in a large auto supply store...or the sporting goods store. If you're in an area where hockey is a big deal, you'll probably find something there or the clerks might be able to tell you where to go to find something like that.) Would he use a bumper sticker? Lots of people don't like putting them on their cars, but if he wouldn't mind, I bet there are some fun bumper stickers out there about either snowmobiling or hockey.
If he doesn't drive, then perhaps he could use what would generally go on a rearview mirror to hang on his computer (you might want to buy a suction-cup hook for this), over a wall-peg, or just on the wall in his room?
Who is his favorite hockey player? Can you find a poster of this guy? Yeah, it would be a little big for a stocking, but rolled up, it could stick out of the stocking and not be a big deal.
Does he do long-distance snowmobiling? If so, can you make up a survival kit (could include a First Aid kit) with a water bottle, survival foods, identification card, a sweet note from you, etc. Again, these things and something to hold them should be found in a sporting goods store. (You'd probably have to really stuff and fold things into the stocking, but I'm sure you can do it!)
OK, I've run out of ideas for the time being. If I think of something else, I'll write again. I'd love to know what you end up putting in this lucky guy's stocking! Good luck.
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What do you think about a guy that you ask over on a date, and he continually disses you?
I invited this guy over that I had liked for a long time.
I have a small but clean and nicely decorated appartment. Well he would say mean things about it, like when his tea got cold I told him I could zap it in my microwave and he said sarcastically "oh you have one of those"? Then when I asked him if he wanted to watch one of my movies he said "oh, it's the movie queen,". But the way he said it wasn't complimentary. Then he started asking me questions about my finaces! I kept trying to enagage him in conversation by showing him pictures but he looked completely bored. I felt very uncomfortable. I thought if I guy was into you he would say things to make you like him better. But the way he was acting it's like he was purposely trying to make me not like him.
Why do you think he was acting like this? He's still trying to be my friend. What should I do? (link)
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It sounds as though this guy has some sort of chip on his shoulder. He doesn't sound like a particularly happy guy, that's for sure. And, he's putting his unhappiness on YOU, trying to make you feel bad for whatever reason - doesn't matter WHAT the reason is, he shouldn't be doing it...ESPECIALLY if he calls himself your friend.
Does he still live with his parents? Does he have roommates he doesn't like or perhaps his own apartment which isn't what he'd like it to be? Does he have a job? A job that doesn't pay all that well? The unnecessary and insensitive comments he made and the fact that he asked questions about your finances certainly make it seem like he's jealous. Not a great thing to have in a "friend." I wouldn't want to feel like I had to defend or apologize for anything that I've worked for...or, just for anything I've been blessed with, no matter how I got it! I would want a friend to be happy for me, support me, and say positive things - NOT things that are meant to bring me down!
I'm certainly not saying this is the case, but a lot of guys have a tough time appreciating or dealing with (in a MATURE way) a woman who is able to be independent and can afford things he can't. This, of course, is rather chauvinistic and an act of extreme insecurity. OK, so he may feel the same way or act in a similar way with a guy friend who has things he doesn't, but I'll bet you anything he acts worse with a woman. And, a woman is going to take his comments a lot more seriously than another guy - that's just the way things are most of the time. Especially if you like this guy for more than a friend, you probably felt even more hurt. How good can THAT be for any relationship?!
If he's still trying to be your "friend," then take advantage of that and simply ask him what the heck was going on the night he came to your home. Tell him that you felt confused by the sarcastic comments and his interrogation over your finances. Ask him what the deal was with all of that. If he denies that he did any of those things, then you'll know that this guy has a bigger problem than you might think. Ask him why he seemed to refuse to talk to you about other things that you brought up for discussion. Ask him what he would have liked to talk about other than your apartment, finances and the subjects you suggested. I bet you'll catch him off guard with these questions. He probably won't know how to answer them, and that, my friend, will put things in YOUR court - do you want this guy as even a "friend"?
OK, sometimes pictures can 'bore" other people for whatever reasons. Buy hey, you were trying and he wasn't. How very rude he was to SHOW you that he was bored! He was YOUR guest. There is definitely a lack of maturity in that.
Bottom line: the guy was rude, insensitive, immature, nosy, and acting mighty jealous. Seems like you've now had the opportunity to see what he's really like. Now, ask yourself if you even want this guy as a friend?! You DESERVE to have respectful, nonjudgmental, and supportive people in your life! Yeah, everyone has his or her own issues, but most of us don't take them out on our FRIENDS or potential boyfriends/girlfriends!
Good luck. I'd like to hear what this guy has to say if you choose to ask him any questions about the other night. And remember, don't ever allow yourself to be dragged down by another person's insecurities. It just isn't worth it!
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I have a cut on a huge stretch mark on the top of my leg and when I touch it, it burns like CRAZY! What can I use to make it better and heal?? (link)
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Aloe vera cream or gel would probably help the burning sensation. This is often used on burns. Cocoa butter may relieve some of the burning sensation as well. But if the cut is open too much, I'd be careful using the Cocoa butter. It's good for burns (like with sunburns) but you don't want to start an infection in an open wound. But the thing that many surgeons recommend for healing a cut or scar is Vitamin E cream (found in a pharmacy or health food store). It works wonders as I have used it after surgery.
You also might want to first try putting some Neosporin (antibiotic cream or gel) on it to help heal this cut if it doesn't seem to be healing. Do NOT use alcohol since alcohol can actually burn and irritate the skin to where it is more difficult to heal. If you want to put something on it before the Neosporin, use Hydrogen Peroxide. As the cut begins to heal, use the Vitamin E to help it heal faster and prevent scarring.
Hope you can get this cut to heal quickly!
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I'm 19/m
I've never masterbated before, and honestly I've never had an urge to.. Am I abnormal? (link)
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Abnormal? NO! Besides, who's to say what is truly "normal." We're all different - Thank God - and normalcy is so completely subjective.
Masturbating is totally a personal decision and if you haven't had the urge to do it, then don't worry that you're not. Perhaps some day you'll decide you want to try it. And...you may like it and you may not. I think a lot of people have issues with this, either way. Masturbating is a perfectly okay and healthy thing to do, but it's not unhealthy or weird that you don't do it. Be careful you don't lay a guilt trip on yourself whether you partake in this personal pleasure or not! I also think that many people just prefer having sex with a partner and don't get much enjoyment out of pleasing themselves. That's okay, and I don't think you're in a minority. I believe that there are an awful lot of people who feel as you do.
One thing to keep in mind though, is that masturbating can help you get more in touch with your sexual side. Experimenting can also help you know exactly what you'd like a partner to do. But you should NEVER put pressure on yourself or allow anyone else to do it either. Whether you masturbate or not, you'll eventually know what you want from a sexual experience.
Whether a person masturbates or not does not make them strange! Relax, and do whatever feels natural and comfortable to you. And don't let anyone tell you that if a person materbates it is wrong, dirty, or goes against anything "natural." That's just bunk!
You're okay...just fine. Don't get all obsessed with this and end up doing a number on your head!
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Is there any way to read books online. I want to read The 5 People You Meet in Heaven. Is there a website or something that I can go to so I can read this book? Thank you! (link)
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Response after your response:
I don't know if you have access to a credit or debit card, but I thought I'd give you the amazon.com link for this book - new and used. The prices are pretty good.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/search-handle-url/102-7240378-4484953?url=index%3Dstripbooks%3Arelevance-above&field-keywords=The+Five+People+You+Meet+in+Heaven&Go.x=11&Go.y=8&Go=Go
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Ok, this may should a little confusing and such, but please bear with me. I have a little birthday dilemma.
My sweet sixteen birthday is in about... two weeks and since most of my friends are seniors, i want to do something special... since technically this is the last party of the year i can have with them. I wanted to do something on Saturday [my birthday], but it ended up that my parents decided to go to one of their business partner's dinner instead... so I was planning to play laser tag then have everyone go to my house... but now that my parents won't be home... that won't be possible. I can't have my birthday on friday or sunday because everyone, including me has classes those days. And i cant do it the week after because of christmas break, plus i was hoping to do it the week of my birthday.
That's the first question. What should i do for my birthday?
Second issue. I'm new to my school by a year [this is my second year here] and i have two groups of friends. One i hang out occasionally and one i hang out every lunch, break, after school, etc. People in both groups are my friends and I'm still best friends with my friends from my old school. One group is my senior friends while the other one is my junior friends, then there are my old school friends. I wanted to have a huge party with all three groups, but now that i think about it.. 29 people is A LOT. So i decided to divide it into 1) senior friends and 2) junior friends [old school and new]. So basically two different parties [dunno how my parents would think about that... oh well] I want to take one group laser tag-ing and another group to just hang out at my home or something. I dont think combining the junior group and senior would be a good idea since they dont know each other that well...[some of my junior friends met my old friends]. I want to take both groups out laser tag-ing... but that seems impossible, it would be a bit complicated. I'm at my wits end of what to do for my birthday. ANy suggestions of what i should do?
Please dont tell me 'just invite one group' because i cant do that, they're all really close to me. (link)
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OK, so would your parents allow you to go laser tagging with your friends on your actual birthday? If they want an adult around, is there anyone they would trust to be the "chaperone" of your laser tagging party? After laser tagging, maybe you all could go to a pizza place (I'd definitely call in advance and reserve tables!) instead of going back to your house. Again, if your parents want an adult to accompany you guys, is there someone who would do it? If you want people to come back to your house, would your parents be willing to ask one or two of their friends to hang around the party so that it doesn't get out of hand and they can feel comfortable having all these kids in the house?
I know 29 people sounds like a lot (uh, and it is), but I'd go ahead and get the whole group together at one time, if possible. Hey, they may like getting to know new people. If they all like you, the probability of them liking your other friends is high!
I'm not sure why you don't want your party to be on the Friday before your b'day. You say you guys have school that day. OK, well the classes are earlier in the day, right? Lots of people have parties on Friday nights whether they're in school or go to work. Then they have Saturday to recuperate! I could understand why you might not want a party on Sunday because you guys will have classes the very next day. But Friday sounds like a good compromise to me unless there's something I'm missing.
Now, if you absolutely can't have your party on Friday, and If your parents don't like the idea of you doing anything on your brithday because THEY won't be around for whatever you do, then would you consider having a b'day/holiday party while you guys are on break? I know that's not as fun as having it ON or really near your birthday, but it might be fun. Since the holidays are so close to your birthday, you could easily make it a b'day/holiday party, announcing that you're starting off the upcoming New Year with a very special age and YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY READY TO MAKE IT THE BEST YEAR EVER by having all of your friends with you, celebrating, at this happy time - the beginning of a new year, the beginning of a new start, the beginning of a major turning point in your life!
Happy Sweet 16! I hope you can work this out to where you'll be happy since it's such a BIG deal (and really it is) to FINALLY turn 16! I'd love to know what you and your parents work out!
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Er, this is kind of embarassing to say, but I have this crush on this guy that I want to get out of my head, I've had a crush on him.. for about 3-4 years now, and it was only last year that I even told some of my close friends. Im in mixed emotions... because I dont want to be with him because I think Im too young for a boyfriend, but then the other side wants to be with him, but I then think of how embarassing that would be or what if he doesnt like me? Even though my friends think he might, there are other girls, since he hasnt been in my class for about 2 years now, and I'm not sure if I can compete.. or even have a chance with him. Especially since Im somewhat shy at first, but as I get used to someone I open up, like with my best friends. I also sometimes get clumsy at moments making me feel sort of awkward. Like at school when Im talking to someone, like a classmate or something, sometimes I mistakenly drop my pencils, or a binder or something, and I guess... well, it happens often. Whenever I imagine growing up and getting married, I imagine getting married to him *blush* GOD, this is so embarrassing to say. Like, I dont really think of anyone else. I'm kind of awkward around boys sometimes, like I just freeze up. And whenever I'm around him, I freeze up like.. well, something that freezes up a lot. He's in my Lunch period this year. I want to know.. well, what should I do? I'm not sure whether to ask whether I have a chance, or anything.. just I'm trusting you guys to give me my LoveSickness medicine. (link)
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So how old ARE you if you think you're too young to date? If you are too young, then thinking all the time about dating this guy (and eventually marrying him - don't be embarrassed about that...it happens all the time!) will only drive you nuts. If you're too young to date, then admire him from afar and know that when you're old enough there WILL be other guys that will catch your attention. If you're too young to date, then why even consider asking him if you have a chance? What if he said yes? What would you do then if you can't date? I suppose you guys could hang out together with friends - if your folks are okay with that - like get a burger together or go to the movies.
I'd suggest NOT asking this guy if you have a chance with him! If you want to make some sort of gesture, then get a group of friends together and ask him if he'd like to join you guys with some of his guy friends to go...wherever. However, if he brings a girl, then obviously he has a girlfriend and though that may hurt, you'll know if he's even available.
Try not to start - so young especially - thinking about "competing" with other girls. Dating may seem like a competition, but it shouldn't be one. If you hit it off with someone, then you hit it off. Don't look down on yourself and think that you have to compete. Just be yourself! The RIGHT guy will appreciate you for YOU and not pay attention to other girls.
When you become nervous, try to focus on calmness and tell yourself over and over that you're okay and that you WILL be okay no matter what happens. If you drop something, just make a joke of it and keep on with your conversation. I drop stuff all the time and I've learned to just laugh at it and that definitely makes other people either laugh WITH me (not AT me) or they just ignore it completely and don't think a thing of it, meaning your "clumsiness."
I DO know what it's like to have had a crush on someone older than I AND for a long time. It can get to you if you don't make the effort to open your mind and eyes to other possibilities.
Take it easy here and good luck with whatever you decide to do. Let me know how things turn out.
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so this guy asked me out finally.
but idk if it was a joke..
he asked me on myspace.
heres the exatc convo..
will you go out with me?
really?
yeah i like you alot.
awe.
yeah i dont want to be mean but whats the answer i gtg soon.
yeah sure.
so you will go out with me?
yeah.
then it ended..
the part where he said i like you alot dosent make since.
it could of been a joke.
what do you think.
i really need help
THANKS SO MUCH!
I RATE 5 (link)
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So when did this guy write to you and ask you out? If it was only recently, then I'd wait until he writes, calls or sees you at school (?) to ask you out on a definite date with day and time.
If it's been a while since he contacted you, you could do the following (actually you could do this even if the contact was recent):
Pass him a piece of paper with your phone number on it - even if he has it already...does he? - and just simply say, call me when you want to get together. Or, use Myspace and ask him to contact you when he's ready to go out. Tell him that you're flattered that he asked, but make your conversation short until you hear what kind of response you get. If he doesn't respond or call, then maybe he's tied up for a while, or, OK, maybe he wasn't all that serious. But I do want to know why you would think he's joking around with you? Have you had no contact, or very little, with him and this just came out of the blue? Still, that doesn't mean he's joking.
His abrupt "conversation" with you really could have meant that he had to go but that he wanted to contact you first. Cool. The other thing is that he may have been a little shy about doing this in the first place and didn't know what else to write.
Try not to focus on the negative...and so quickly, at that! Just relax and go with the flow. You'll find out sooner or later if he's serious. Be patient.
Good luck and let me know if he sets up a date.
P.S. You announce that you "rate 5." That's nice, but you really should only rate an answer by how much you feel it can help you. Adding that to your message only sounds like some sort of bribe! (Yeah, I know. You're not the only one who does this, but I don't think it's a great idea, if you don't mind my saying so.)
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i really like this guy a lot. He's in one of my classes. I can't tell him that i like him because i know for a fact that he does not like or even notice me (he's really popular and i'm not). So if i told him that i liked him then it would be weird in class with him for the rest of the year. I need a way for him to notice me and talk to me first. Any suggestions? (link)
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I know what it's like to be attracted to someone and you feel as though they don't even notice you. That does feel pretty crummy. You say that you "know for a fact" that he doesn't like you. How do you know this? Has he or anyone else told you this? It's not healthy to make assumptions - about anything!
First off, do you know for sure that he doesn't already have a girlfriend? If he does, you might want to put your attentions on someone else, as hard as that sounds right now.
As far as trying to get him to notice you: I'd start by trying to make eye contact with him and just give him a sweet smile. When you pass him in class or in the hallway, smile and say hi. Continue to do this and see what happens. Do you guys have assigned seats? If not, can you try to sit near him? If he doesn't seem to respond to any of your efforts, then he could just be overly involved in himself and/or his own "crowd," which I know may make you feel bad - it would anyone - but sometimes that's just how people work even if it seems narrow-minded and insensitive...and it is.
Another thought: What kind of class are the two of you in together? Can you ask him to partner with you on a project assignment? I know you'd rather him talk to you first, but without telling him you like him, you could always tell him that you admire his school work (if you do, that is) and tell him that you think he could really help you and would he be willing to do that? You could also ask him to help you with your homework, or work together on your homework if you don't need help, but only if that feels comfortable to you. If there are no class assignments to do together or you're too shy to ask him to partner with you or work on homework together, then just begin with what I suggested above, which, in all honesty, I think is the best way to go.
Mostly I suggest that you play it cool and just start slowly - like going for the eye contact, smiling and saying "hi." If he does respond well and begins talking to you, try to focus on this relationship as a budding friendship and see where that leads you.
Good luck and let me know if any of my suggestions help. I've been where you are and I understand completely how you feel! But remember, just because he's "popular" doesn't mean that you can't have some sort of relationship with him. NEVER ASSUME ANYTHING! Try to move on if this guy remains aloof. There's someone out there for you who will give you all the attention you deserve. Please remember that and try not to focus all of your energies on just one guy. You might not be leaving the door open for some other cool guy to walk through!
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Me and this guy were talking for a couple of weeks. We went on dates and had so much fun. Then we just stopped talking because we got mad at eachother. That was about a month an a half ago. I still like him and want to call him but if i do then i'll seem like a total dork. I need some advise on what i should do. I mean I want to start dating him again but i don't want to be the one to that calls him first. Should i just move on because he's not into me anymore, obviously, or what should i do? (link)
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Well, first of all you won't be a dork if you call this guy! It would appear to me that you'd be making the first gesture towards repairing a friendship, even if you two don't get back together as a couple. That's good...and very reasonable and mature.
Whether you decide to talk to him in person or on the phone, be honest with your feelings and let him know that you're really sorry that the two of you got into it the last time you were together. No need to bring up whatever subject about which you were arguing. It will be enough to just say that you wish your relationship hadn't ended the way it did. Ask him how he feels about things now that you both have cooled down and taken a break.
Hopefully by his responses to your honesty, apology, and request for his thoughts you'll be able to better determine where his head is and what you will need to do to make yourself happy - like moving on, if he can't handle a decent and calm discussion. Who wants someone in her or his life (boyfriend or pal) that walks away from a relationship just because of an argument? That's the pits, though it happens all too often because people are either too stubborn to apologize, embarrassed to make the first move towards repairing a friendship, or just too plain immature to communicate honest feelings.
Good luck! I hope you can get this resolved one way or the other...
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