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said something about a guy that I now regret
I just joined a club thats made up of adults who get together once a week and try out our public speaking skills on one another.
Well the first night I went a very well dressed, attractive, and intelligent man sat next to me. He knew I was nervous and was being so supportive and friendly.
I was absolutely convicned that this man must have been a doctor. He dressed like one and was SO nice like doctors are.
Well the next week he wasnt there and I talked to another one of the men. I asked him if (his name) was a doctor. Then the other guy started to laugh, and told me he was a financial advisor. He wanted to know why I thought he was a doctor and I said because of how he was dressed!
Well the next time I saw this man he was being very COLD towards me and barely looked at me.
He was also dressed down in Jeans!!
Now I think because of what I said that he thinks I'm a little gold digger or something. I also found out he's married so I feel like an even bigger idiot.
Should I apologize to him? I want him to be nice to me again.
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Woah lol that's a little weird. But yes apologize. =)
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First of all, I'd like to know what makes you think doctors (or anyone else for that matter) dress a certain way. Not a single one of my doctors dresses the same way in the office or in public. My neurologist has long hair and wears it in a pony tail! The reason I ask the above question is that you probably should look at this as a very important lesson on not judging people by their appearances.
Since you felt guilty about what you said, that could have distorted your image of this guy the next time he came in and you might have imagined that he was cold to you when perhaps he was just mingling with others or dealing with something personal. As far as finding out that he is married is no big deal. What you said to the other man in the group did not necessarily imply that you were after this guy! I'd go easier on yourself about that part for sure. Actually, I think you're being too hard on yourself in general. You made a mistake, one I'm sure you'll never repeat and you need to try to move on from this.
I'd suggest acting normal and just speaking to this man as though nothing happened because nothing really did happen! You can tell him how helpful he was to you your first attendance to this group and that you really appreciated it. If he continues to act aloof towards you, I'd just ignore it and hope that he'll work out whatever is going on with him. Just keep being nice and friendly. You have no idea if 1) he heard about your comment, and 2) if that really offended him. An apology may make YOU feel better, but what if it just confuses the situation? I'd play that one by ear and not jump the gun with an apology. For heaven's sake, you really didn't say anything wrong - just naive.
Another thing I'd remember is that many men from all sorts of fields can be supportive and friendly. This does not just apply to doctors. Again, do not assume/presume things about anyone. If you're interested in what someone does for a living, especially in this group, then just ask what their profession is and tell them yours. Strike up conversations with this. Wanting to know what people's professions are in this group is probably something that is very normal. Again, don't beat yourself up. Just learn from this and in the future, don't judge people on how they act towards you or how they dress.
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If your conscience is telling you need to apologize to him, do it. You never know though - it may have just seemed he was acting cold to you. sometimes I think people are acting differently towards me after I've said something I feel I shouldn't have, and it turns out all to just be in my mind. Anyway, there's no harm in going up to him and making amends. Just go up and say hello, how are you to him and pretend like nothing has happened. If he is standoffish, then tell him that you're really sorry about assuming he was a doctor, and you didn't mean it in a mean way at all, and you hope that you two don't get off on the wrong foot. If he a decent person, he'll understand and put it behind him. If not, then leave it, you did the right thing by apologizing - if he can't get over it then he's not worth an ounce of your time.
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Maybe you should just talk to him and find out if you have actually upset him before you consider apologizing to him. It could just be that he'd had a bad day when he was being 'cold' towards you, if he's married then maybe he was having trouble at home, until you talk to him you won't find out. If it turns out that you have upset him in some way then just give a simple apology explaining that it was all just a mistake, I'm sure that if he's an intelligent man he will understand, if he doesn't then maybe you need to re-assess your opinion of him.
Hope I've helped.
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