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my date kept dissing me!


Question Posted Wednesday November 30 2005, 2:38 am

What do you think about a guy that you ask over on a date, and he continually disses you?
I invited this guy over that I had liked for a long time.
I have a small but clean and nicely decorated appartment. Well he would say mean things about it, like when his tea got cold I told him I could zap it in my microwave and he said sarcastically "oh you have one of those"? Then when I asked him if he wanted to watch one of my movies he said "oh, it's the movie queen,". But the way he said it wasn't complimentary. Then he started asking me questions about my finaces! I kept trying to enagage him in conversation by showing him pictures but he looked completely bored. I felt very uncomfortable. I thought if I guy was into you he would say things to make you like him better. But the way he was acting it's like he was purposely trying to make me not like him.
Why do you think he was acting like this? He's still trying to be my friend. What should I do?


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Tulipg17 answered Thursday May 4 2006, 12:23 pm:
Whats wrong with you? Cut off ties and show yourself some respect.

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Kristen03 answered Friday December 2 2005, 12:54 am:
Stay his friend. But talk to him about the way he feels about you. You don't want to hold on to something that isn't there.

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xxoBriannax answered Wednesday November 30 2005, 6:20 pm:
It seems like he is jealous of all that you have. He definitely isn't worth it if he is putting you down all the time. Tell him that.

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girlygirl answered Wednesday November 30 2005, 4:33 pm:
If you really like him then you'll probably give him the benefit of the doubt and it was just because he was nervous around you. But from an outsiders point of view, he just sounds like an arrogant jerk and wants everything his way. My best girl friend has been dating a guy like that for almost 2 years! Every single time he always makes some sarcastic and demeaning remark. She says 'oh that's just they way he is' but how long do you want to be treated that way? Find someone who's nice and appreciates the little things, don't waste time on someone who makes you feel badly about yourself.

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hopeihelped answered Wednesday November 30 2005, 3:39 pm:
Well, it sounds like you're old enough, being that you live in your own appartment. If this guy is still completely immature, I'd forget about him. That behavior is completely unacceptable on a date! Especially since it was at your house, it's just rude. If you think he's good enough to be your friend, go ahead. But he's still in the state of mind that girls have cooties, so you should probably just be friends. Or maybe the opposite. Maybe he just wanted to get some booty. Either way, it's disrespectful.. Not worth yout time.

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sexy_poo answered Wednesday November 30 2005, 3:21 pm:
omg you served you date tea..i mean who does that..you must be british! ummm he probably wanted to hit it then quit it and with you babbleing on and on he was trying to jet oout of there

rate high tootles <poo

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Mercy_x_Me answered Wednesday November 30 2005, 3:05 pm:
Wow, from the sound of it, this guy was either nervous or just naturally a jerk. He could've been nervous. I know sometimes when I'm nervous I say stupid things I don't mean. But usually not around people I am attracted to.

All I can say is that maybe he is just really terrible at first impressions. While a lot of people are rooting you on to just forget about him, I think you should give him one more chance.

You don't know a persons WHOLE life story from one date. If you are very attracted to him and personally think he's worth it, I say you try a second date. If he starts offending you again, get very quiet after he makes those sardonic comments. Maybe he'll get the hint that you're not appreciating it.

And if he proves to be a jerk the second time, then you can be done with him. I know some people come off differently then they actually are if you don't know them.

Good Luck!

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kriddle06 answered Wednesday November 30 2005, 2:54 pm:
i agree with some of the other people that answered your question drop his ass like its hot and say he aint worth your time but then if he was saying rude comments about everything then why did he say yeah what the hell is on his biscut. is he dum if he didnt want to go through with it then why did he some guys in this world are crazy as hell but i hope i really did help you (he is a HUGE ASS HOLE, you can tell him yoour home gurl told you that)

kriddle06

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Advicelady6798 answered Wednesday November 30 2005, 10:00 am:
I think that is not the right guy for you. The perfect guy would always comliment you even if you didnt look your best. You need someone you feelcomforable with and doesnt do that to you. You dont deserve to have someone like that. And i think you sound like a really nice person who deserves much better. I think that he is jealous of what you have so he makes fun of it. When someone is jealous they do act like that. I am certain you will be able to find someone that respects you and your belongings no matter what they are and i hope that you find him soon.

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susana answered Wednesday November 30 2005, 8:45 am:
It sounds as though this guy has some sort of chip on his shoulder. He doesn't sound like a particularly happy guy, that's for sure. And, he's putting his unhappiness on YOU, trying to make you feel bad for whatever reason - doesn't matter WHAT the reason is, he shouldn't be doing it...ESPECIALLY if he calls himself your friend.

Does he still live with his parents? Does he have roommates he doesn't like or perhaps his own apartment which isn't what he'd like it to be? Does he have a job? A job that doesn't pay all that well? The unnecessary and insensitive comments he made and the fact that he asked questions about your finances certainly make it seem like he's jealous. Not a great thing to have in a "friend." I wouldn't want to feel like I had to defend or apologize for anything that I've worked for...or, just for anything I've been blessed with, no matter how I got it! I would want a friend to be happy for me, support me, and say positive things - NOT things that are meant to bring me down!

I'm certainly not saying this is the case, but a lot of guys have a tough time appreciating or dealing with (in a MATURE way) a woman who is able to be independent and can afford things he can't. This, of course, is rather chauvinistic and an act of extreme insecurity. OK, so he may feel the same way or act in a similar way with a guy friend who has things he doesn't, but I'll bet you anything he acts worse with a woman. And, a woman is going to take his comments a lot more seriously than another guy - that's just the way things are most of the time. Especially if you like this guy for more than a friend, you probably felt even more hurt. How good can THAT be for any relationship?!

If he's still trying to be your "friend," then take advantage of that and simply ask him what the heck was going on the night he came to your home. Tell him that you felt confused by the sarcastic comments and his interrogation over your finances. Ask him what the deal was with all of that. If he denies that he did any of those things, then you'll know that this guy has a bigger problem than you might think. Ask him why he seemed to refuse to talk to you about other things that you brought up for discussion. Ask him what he would have liked to talk about other than your apartment, finances and the subjects you suggested. I bet you'll catch him off guard with these questions. He probably won't know how to answer them, and that, my friend, will put things in YOUR court - do you want this guy as even a "friend"?

OK, sometimes pictures can 'bore" other people for whatever reasons. Buy hey, you were trying and he wasn't. How very rude he was to SHOW you that he was bored! He was YOUR guest. There is definitely a lack of maturity in that.

Bottom line: the guy was rude, insensitive, immature, nosy, and acting mighty jealous. Seems like you've now had the opportunity to see what he's really like. Now, ask yourself if you even want this guy as a friend?! You DESERVE to have respectful, nonjudgmental, and supportive people in your life! Yeah, everyone has his or her own issues, but most of us don't take them out on our FRIENDS or potential boyfriends/girlfriends!

Good luck. I'd like to hear what this guy has to say if you choose to ask him any questions about the other night. And remember, don't ever allow yourself to be dragged down by another person's insecurities. It just isn't worth it!

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Belladonna answered Wednesday November 30 2005, 8:22 am:
That's awful. Some guys, however, can be a little weird when they like a girl. Some can treat them like total dirt because they're afraid of getting close to them and being hurt. He may be vulnerable. I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt that he's not just a complete jerk that wanted to bring you down. I believe he may have had other motives. If he was a complete jerk, he wouldn't still be trying with you. He definitley went about things the wrong way, and he's lucky that you're still talking to him.

If I were you I'd explain to him that he hurt you by dissing you and you want an explanation as to why he acted the way he did. You definitley deserve that. If he can't foster an decent explanation, your best bet is to forget about him. See how that goes. Chances are, he's just totally clueless when it comes to girls and how to behave like a gentlemen.

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karenR answered Wednesday November 30 2005, 6:59 am:
I really don't think I would want a friend like that. He sounds a little jealous to me.

Anyone who would be jealous because you have some nice things is probably not someone you want to have a round.

I don't know why anyone would behave the way he did. I think I would ask him, then tell him because he acted that way you can live without him.

Trust your instincts. He made you uncomfortable. There are better guys than that out there. Meet guys in public places from now on until you are sure about them. :)

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