about

Hi I'm Dee. I'm 23 and married. I've worked in health care as well as office settings but am now a home-maker. I'm knowledgeable in a variety of subjects but don't mind doing a little research if asked about something I don't know about. Most of my friends come to me for advice. I read several advice columns and would like to help you also.

I'm not judgemental. Your life is yours to live it as you choose. I believe asking for advice is good, but ultimately the choice is yours. You WILL NOT find a hurtful or smartass answer here.

If you have a question that you would like to keep private, you can email me and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

advice

I just made my schools volleyball team this past week. (We had conditioning and try outs 2 weeks before)
Well ever since we started try-outs I've been eating more! I eat like 2 dinners; After breakfast (while I'm at school) I get so hungry, and even after lunch I'll get hungry in like an hour.

How can I prevent this, I don't wanna get fat!

It may be what you're eating. Try eating more protein (meat, cheese, beans) and switching to complex carbohydrates (think multigrain). Protein and complex carbs take longer to digest so they keep you feeling full longer.


It might be also the amount you're eating. If you're more active, your body needs more calories to function. Go to the site below to get an idea of the calories you need to be eating and which food groups you need to get them.
http://www.mypyramid.gov/

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something is wrong with my computer..i need to get to the "my computer" button so i can fix my virtual memory, is there any way i can get to it??or get to my virtual memory??
*-*rate high!*-*

I don't know whether this works on all computers, but I know it works on XP. Open your control panel. Up near the top, there should be a folder icon with an up button. Click it twice to get to a screen that has "my computer."

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hey yeah i need help w/ info for scholarships. i want to go to a private school and my familys definetly not poor, but the school is EXTREMELY expensive so a little extra money would help a bunch. Does anyone know of scholarships that are available to 8th graders in AZ? Or just any info on ways to get money through contests or academics because *not bragging* i have high grades. Thanks for everything...

The website below might be able to help. It has a list of scholarships and contests available for your age group.
http://www.finaid.org/scholarships/age13.phtml


You might also try talking to an admissions counselor at the private school. Some schools offer financial aid programs and scholarships to qualifying students.

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Yes, I'm on my period, but ususally I am so good about cravings, but now they're unavoidable! Could anyone please tell me how not stop, but give in to my cravings, without them being unhealthy? Chocolate...ugh...it's the worst. Your help would be appreciated. Thanks.

Distraction usually works for me. When the craving hits, go do something else for a little while. Since cravings generally don't last long, doing something else will keep you away until the craving passes.


Another option is looking for different ways to satisfy your craving. I bought Viactiv chocolates. They're tiny chocolates that also provide you with calcium, something every woman needs. Usually, eating one or two of them is enough to satisfy my craving. You can also try to find a low-fat chocolate item, perhaps low-fat chocolate pudding.

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okay, so, my dad is totally changing his views on everything now, and I don't really know how to talk to him like I used to. I mean, I could tell him anything, and now its just kinda weird. He won't let me read Seventeen until he cuts some "articles he doesn't want me to see" out. He says that I am not allowed to date (whereas in 4th grade I had a boyfriend and him and my stepmom would always be like "did you call him yet" and stuff). Him and my stepmom used to ask me how to have kids on the sims, i am not even allowed to make my sims kiss now (which I do anyways, but still). They used to be so cool and all, but now they are so overprotective. I don't go to school (homeschooled) so I don't have those kind of problems. They think that I will fall into all these stupid fads and trends and sex and drugs (yes, i love fashion, and music, and yes i do try to impress people and stuff, but only to a reasonable extent). I like this boy, who i like, just met about six months ago, but I have only seen him a couple of times. I know that he likes me, but when we get to know eachother more, and if he asks me out or something, what do i say, i mean "i have to ask my dad" or "i'll think about it" will sound like i am a baby or he might think that i don't like him and he might just look for someone else. I don't think i could do something like have a boyfriend behind my dad's back, and how can i have a boyfriend in front of his back? How do I tell my dad I like this guy and he likes me? (by the way, don't say "well, this guy hasn't even asked you out yet, and he might not ever." i am asking in advance so that when anyone does, what the hell do I say to my dad and future boyfriend?) thanx i rate :) (srry this was long, don't even answer if you're going to give some retarded answer like "hmmm...idk umm.. DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND!") thanx again

Did something happen to change the way he thinks? In my experience, people generally don't change that drastically unless something has happened. If you know what happened to bring on the change, you might be able to discuss it with them.


As far as the boy, you might try asking your dad and stepmother if you can invite him over for dinner one night. Because they'll be there, they might be more inclined to allow it. It will also give them a chance to get to know him, which might make them feel comfortable enough for you to go on a date.

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I have a new hamster. When she is on her wheel, it is really loud. It is keeping everyone up and I was wondering if there was anything I can do. I am going to try to find a different wheel, but I am not sure if there are any quiet ones out there. Does anyone know what I can do for right now, until I can find a new wheel?

Thanks!

We ran into a similar problem with my sister's hamster. You can try moving the cage to a room where it's less likely to be heard. Another option is simply removing the wheel at night when everyone is sleeping. We tried moving the cage, but it could be heard anywhere in the house. Finally, we started removing the wheel at night, which worked perfectly. The hamster learned to do its running during the day.

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Im a guy, me and my girlfriend of 3 years broke up(she broke up with me, said she needed some time off)...anyways its been over 2 months and all I do is think about her, i miss her so much, and even though we still hang out and talk on the phone, i feel alone. I wonder if maybe i should go and date other girls because i seriously can no longer take the emptiness in my heart, i love her so much and wanna be back with her, however, i dont know exactly what plans she has. I have asked her if she sees us getting back together and her answer is always the same " i cannot answer that, cause i dont know?"
What am i supossed to do here, in one hand i love her and miss her so much, and i can continue feeling empty while waiting for her to come back to me, but on the other hand, i dont know if we will ever get back together, so maybe im getting my hopes up too high, all i know is that the emptiness and despair i feel everyday cannot be good for my health, what should i do?

It sounds like you need some time to heal. I wouldn't suggest jumping right into another relationship. In my experience, rebound relationships rarely work. Once you're comfortable with your feelings, then I would start dating again. Yes, she might change her mind and come back. However, you don't want to wait forever on the chance she might come back. You might miss out on your Ms. Right because you were waiting on the wrong one.

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hey guys i need some advice....me and scott have been dating and everytime i try to call him the phone is ALWAYS busy! i know he has a lot of friends that are girls but he talks to like 7 girls on the phone every night he tells me its not even like that..but i'm having doubts then one day he called me and told me his ex girlfriend called him and she bought him a presant and i got mad and he goes " see i knew you would get all bent out of shape about it." ok if some whore is buying my boyfriend presants am i supposed to be happy? i dont know if hes cheating on me and i think he is because the phones always busy and when i try to talk to him about it he gets all mad..what do you guys think please help me out!

I would be upset too about an ex getting my partner a present. The way I look at it is that exes are in the past and should stay there.


Honestly, I would move on and find a better guy. I'm seeing some major issues here. One, he seems to be putting all these other girls before you. If he was really interested, he'd tell those girls he has a girlfriend and needs to spend time with her. Two, there's a trust issue. I'm a strong believer that there has to be trust for a relationship to work. It sounds to me like you don't trust him much and he's not giving you much reason to trust him. Three, he's not willing to work on the issues in your relationship. If there's a problem, he needs to be willing to work to fix it too. The fact that he gets mad rather than trying to work it out throws up major red flags for me.

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Okay, I wasn't sure if this was good enough for the health section, but I was just wondering about something.

A little over a year ago a friend of mine was in a car accident due to drinking and driving and she didn't make it. I was completely torn up about it. I wouldn't say that I'm over it now, but I've found other ways to deal with it.

Recently another friend of mine was in a car wreck and was injured pretty badly. The first week or so that he was in the hospital he was in a lot of pain but he was there. He understood what we said to him and he could talk back to us clearly. By the end of the 1st month it was just like something was eating away at him, he was like a mentally ill person. You couldn't understand what he was saying, and well I don't know if he could understand me. He lives in a different state than I do (I moved away a few years ago) but we still kept in close contact after I moved, he even helped me through the death of the friend I mentioned above. I owe him (and a few others) my life. But anyway, about a week ago his health completely deteriorated. He is now in a coma and I feel really guilty because I have shown no emotion whatsoever. I'm living my life just like I did before. I cried once and that is when I found out. And that kind of scares me. I am not that much of an emotional person, but when somebody like a brother to me is in a coma and his mom doesn't really love him (she used to abuse him) and wants to pull the plug thing that is keeping him alive (sorry, I don't know what it's called) because she is sick of paying for her sons mistakes (she told me that when I talked to her) I just don't know what I should be feeling.

How come I'm not feeling anything? Is it wrong not to be feeling anything knowing that such a great person and somebody so close to me may die?

I don't know, I'm just confused, I needed to vent and just see if anyone else has experienced or knows somebody who has experienced something like this. I just kind of found it weird that I was sooo devastated when it came to my one friends death, and now this person, and I've cried maybe once...

Oh 15/f

First off, I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. Having lost several close friends over the last few years, I understand what you're going through.


It's completely normal for your emotions to be kind of "off" right now. It can be for various reasons. One, it may not have fully sunk in yet. When a friend who was like a mother to me was diagnosed with cancer and given only a few months to live, I didn't cry. I knew in my head she had little chance of surviving, but I kept thinking she'd get better somehow. After all, she'd beat cancer once before. I was devastated when she took a turn for the worse and passed away.


Two, your body may not be able to deal with it right now so it's blocking the emotions as a protective mechanism. Not long after the friend I mentioned passed away, I found out my best friend had cancer as well. I wasn't ready to deal with losing another friend, especially to the same disease, so I kind of blocked it out. My head knew it was going on, but my heart refused to believe it. Even when the second friend passed away, I couldn't cry. Finally, about a month after her death, I finally broke down.


I wish there was something I could say to make things better for you, but I know there isn't. If you ever need to talk or need a shoulder, my email address is on my column.

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ok well first of im 13/f and everyone in my family is a drug addict, my mom, my dad and my brother(who is 21). right now everyone is clean except my brother, and i know im at a high risk of becoming a drug addict and im really scared. ive never taken anything except gotten drunk about 3 times. this is really hard to cope with. ive cut a couple times and my friends dont really help a lot. my dads been in and out of jail and in and out of rehab. and theres a lot of other things that i dont feel like going in to detail. but i dont know how to deal with this so my question is, is there anything i could do to cope with this better(ive already been to a shrink and it was no help) like is there any websites or anything and not al-anon(not sure if thats it) cause thats just people with familys who drink.. well thanks for any help in advance.

Naranon is similar to al-anon except it focuses on families of drug abusers. I'm giving you the website.
http://www.naranon.com/home.html


Also, you might consider seeing a different counselor. Sometimes it takes a couple tries before you're able to find a counselor that works best for you.

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Im a 15/f, 16 in april.
okay for some reason i think its really odd to date a guy whos like 17. but then id love to date a guys whos turning 15. i know usually everyone wants to date guys who are older and taller then them but i mean i think its kinda gross well not gorss but just weird if i would date a guy whos like 2 years older then me or 2 years younger. is there something wrong with my brain or is that just my personality towards guys i like?

I don't think there's anything wrong with you. Many women choose to only date guys their age. Just because other girls date older or younger guys doesn't necessarily mean those guys are the right one for you. Stick with what makes you comfortable. Only you can know which guy is right for you.

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okay is it true that your boobs can become deformed if youre wearing a bra cup size too small..? cuz mine tend to hurt after a while and i think my bras getting a little small.. cuz im like right between an a and b.. and its really difficult to find a nice bra.

I don't think they'll become deformed, but a too small bra will definitely be uncomfortable. I saw some bras by Playtex advertised the other day that are supposed to be for those in-between sizes. You might look into those as an option until you're fully into a larger size.
http://www.halfsizestoo.com/

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how do i change my yahoo messenger password.
i rate 5

Go to any yahoo page and sign into your account. Then, look for "my account" or "account info" and click it. It usually asks you to put your password in again for security. Then, it will pull up a page with your name, email, etc. On that page, look for "change password" and click it. You put your current password in the first box and your new password in the second and third boxes, then click save.
http://help.yahoo.com/help/us/edit/edit-13.html

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I really need to lose weight but I work from 4-9 so when I get home I eat which is bad. I can't eat on my break because it is only 15 minutes long so I can't eat that quick. Should I just skip eating dinner or what?

Contrary to popular belief, you can eat later than 7 pm and still lose weight. The key is in making sure your meal is a healthy one. I worked night shift for a while and lost weight even though I ate around midnight.


To help keep you from overindulging when you come home, try fixing healthy snacks to eat on your break. Fresh fruits and veggies are easy healthy snacks you can try. Then, when you get home, fix a light, healthy meal. Try a salad topped with grilled chicken or a veggie-filled omelet.


I wouldn't suggest skipping meals because it actually works against you when you're trying to lose weight.

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Okay so i am a 16year old female. and heres my situation. ive only gotten my period like 3-4 times in my life. and they havent been in consecutive months. the closest its ever been to consecutive was dec 2004 and january 2005. and the time after that was june 2005 then i didnt get it until my last period which was january 2006. my main question is...does my very irregular period mean that i am not ovulating like i should be and could it effect whether or not i will be able to have children when im older? dont get the wrong idea its not that i want a kid now or anything. but i do want a family in the future and this i just freaking me out. any advice/information anybody could give me will be much appreciated. thanks.

A lot of women have irregular periods. For most, once their bodies adjust, their periods become regular. Others stay irregular. I fall into the category of staying irregular. Because I was also worried about it effecting my ability to have children, I asked my ob/gyn. She told me that I may have difficulty becoming pregnant because I don't ovulate on a regular pattern, but it didn't mean I wouldn't be able to have children.


Contrary to her expectations, I get pregnant quite easily. I was on the birth control pill the first time I got pregnant. Because I was taking antibiotics, the effectiveness was reduced and I got pregnant. After I miscarried, I went back on the pill and made sure to always request medications that wouldn't interfere with my birth control. After my husband and I got married, we decided we wanted to start a family so I went off the pill. A month later, I was pregnant again. The baby is due in just a few months.


Speaking from experience, it is possible to have children when you have irregular periods. If you're really concerned, make an appointment with your ob/gyn for a checkup. They can examine you and run some tests to determine if there are any factors that might effect your chances of becoming a mother in the future.

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Ok, so um...here's the point:
My nipples look like their all bruised and they hurt when something lightly touches them.I know this is disgusting but I'm kinda worried about it. If this is any help, they didn't "grow" yet.

Since you say they haven't grown yet, I assume you're probably just starting into your breast growth. If this is the case, you might consider investing in a cotton cushioned bra. It will help to protect them until they get past this sore stage. You can also talk to your parents about taking an OTC pain reliever such as Tylenol for the discomfort. The good news is this stage generally doesn't last too long and is a sign of your body maturing.


If they are excessively painful, you might want to consider seeing your family doctor just to make sure things are okay.

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I can wear 32A or 32B, but most stores don't carry size 32, they usually start at 34. Does anyone know where I can get a nice push-up, cleavage-enhancing, curve-enhancing bra in size 32A or 32B for under $30? I've tried Target, Kohls, and Macy's, but I didn't find any I liked. and I'm pretty sure Victoria's Secret bras start at size 34. Any help would be much appreciated :)

JCPenney carries bras that start in 32. I browsed through the website and easily found a couple that sound like what you're looking for. I checked the Victoria's Secret website and they do carry 32s. I'm not sure if you'll be able to find them in the stores, but you'll definitely be able to get one through their website.

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I saw my bf at the mall with another guy kissing him! Not just kissing but making out! What should i do? Should i confront him?!
HELP me please!
Thank you soooo much

I would definitely speak to your boyfriend about what you saw. This is a major breach of trust. Even if the person is the same sex, it's still cheating. While he may have just been experimenting, he should be doing that while he's single, not while he's in a committed relationship.


If you're sexually active with him, you may also want to get tested for STDs. This may have been the first time he's cheated, but you don't know for sure. It's better to be safe.

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14 year old female, big boned. height=5'9 weight=180

i've recently changed my eating. here are two days worth of eating examples;;


1. no breakfast( i woke up too late)
lunch-2 peices of wheat bread, 1tbsp of mayo & 2 tbsp of honey. and lettuce. ( no lunch meat )( total=345 calories)
yogurt, light n fit. (35)
2 nature valley bars (190)
dinner-banana
nature valley bars
chives & sour cream baked potato frm wendys
snacks-apples

about 900 caloires

2.
breakfast-apples
lunch-apples
diet cherry vanilla dr. pepper
nature valley bars
yogurt
dinner-bagel with cream cheese
baked poatoe with chip dip
snacks;a bite of chocolate

about 800 calories

am i eating too less? its hard to eat heatly & eat alot. $ is a huge issue

i exercise so thats not a problem

i'm trying to lose weight, but ami eating to little? and what is cheap and easy to eat that i could add bc i don't think thats enough food

any help/tips greatly appreciated

That sounds like too little calories for your body. Right now, your body is going through a lot of changes and needs calories to fuel these changes. There is a government website that will help you calculate the calories your body needs and which food groups it should come from. It's very user-friendly. Just put in your age, sex, and level of activity.
http://www.mypyramid.gov


From the sample diet you've posted here, I'm not seeing a lot of protein in your diet. Try adding some lean meats such as turkey or chicken. If you like fish, it can also be added. Switch to lean or ultra-lean ground beef. Beans are also full of protein and have the added bonus of fiber.


For your breads requirements, look to whole grain options. Whole-grain breads, pastas (check your pasta aisle for whole-grain pastas), and healthy cereals (Think whole-grain Cheerios, plain shredded wheat, etc) will help fulfill this requirement.


Vegetables can be great snacks, which will help you get your daily requirement. I often snack on baby carrots or celery. Make sure you're not adding calories when you fix your veggies. Stick with raw, steamed, or boiled. Salads are also an easy way to get your veggies. Just make sure the dressing you use isn't loaded with calories.


For fruits, try adding some to your breakfast cereal. Fruits can also be snacked on. I love fruit because it satisfies my sweet tooth without extra calories. If you use canned fruit, make sure it's not in syrup as this will add a lot of calories.


Dairy products are a major necessity for you at this age. Women need calcium to promote healthy bones and prevent osteoporosis. There have also been studies that suggest milk drinkers lose more weight and keep it off longer.


Look for ways that allow you to combine the various requirements. Fajitas and veggie pizzas are a good example. Salads can also be used as a combination meal by stirring in a little chopped chicken and low-fat cheese.


A few recipe sites for you.
http://www.fitnessandfreebies.com/local/recipelist.html
http://www.weightlossresources.co.uk/recipes/low_calorie/main_meals.htm
http://whatscookingamerica.net/RecipeIndexDiet.htm

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14/f. My boyfriend just turned 17. I am a virgin, he isn't. He's had sex with 2 people. We have been together for probably about 4 months. He respects me and I know he loves me and always wants to spend time with me. I know that he wants to have sex but tries his best to repect what I want. I sort of want to have sex, I know he loves me and cares about me. But there is another guy who I talked to before I knew him and he was in love with me. For some reason I stopped talking to him. And I'm just confused about what I want. Please give me advice, and when you have sex, do you immediately start to bleed your first time? and how much? I will rate.

It sounds to me like you're still very unsure. Until you can work through your feelings and be completely sure, I would steer away from a sexual relationship. Once you take that step, there is no going back. I know a lot of women, myself included, that deeply regret losing their virginity when they did.


The fact that you've only been together 4 months is also a concern. I realize that it seems like a long time (I was a teen not too long ago), but I would suggest waiting. Right now, you're still in the stage of getting to know each other. By waiting until you know each other better and have to go a point where you're more comfortable, you'll be able to make a better decision.


As for your questions, try the link below. It will explain what to expect. Your question is the last one on the page.
http://www.coolnurse.com/sex_faqs2.htm


If you do decide to take this step, I suggest a few things. First, I would have your boyfriend get tested. Since he has been with other women, there is a chance he may have an STD. I would also recommend you make an appointment with your family doctor or gynecologist. They can examine you to make sure your body is ready and also help you find the birth control option that's best for you. If you don't feel comfortable seeing a doctor that your family knows, you can also visit your local health department or planned parenthood office. Remember to also use a condom as birth control does not protect against STDs.

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