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I am straight to the point, My advice is given based on my opinions of what YOU write. I may not always tell you what you want to hear but I am not here to sugar coat shit.
I am honest, I am blunt, At times an asshole but one thing I can promise, I'll never lie.
advice
I'm a girl freshman in high school. My friend asked me if he could smoke me out and I said yeah. We're gonna go smoke but I've never smoked before. I don't even know if I need to bring my own piece or something. I don't know how to even smoke at all. I've seen it it seems with a pipe people put the weed in and light it and just inhale it. Seems easy enough. Any tips? Also any tips on how to hide it other than perfume & eye drops ? We're gonna smoke in a park btw. I don't want any hate comments, I could care less I'm just trying to get high man.
Well, I am not going to encourage how to use weed.
Looks like you found the wrong place to ask, I am one that is against it unless it's for medical purposes.
alright.. so my husband is not my 3 1/2 year old daughters biological father.. but, he has been in her life since I was 4 months pregnant.. and her bio dad and I split up when I was 2 months pregnant with her.. he called for the first week or two after I left.. but after that.. nothing.. I got 2 text messages saying "to see how the baby is doing" and "nevermind" when I was 5 months pregnant.. after that when I was 7 and a half months along he got put in jail/prison for stat rape!! I have not heard from him and he has NEVER seen her.. I haven't even spoke to his family since she was 3 months old.. anyways my dilemma is that I am fixing to be getting her birth certificate.. and when I had her I never wrote her bio dads name ANYWHERE when I had her.. no papers have EVER had his name on them.. just mine.. but what I need to know is if anyone knows if when I file for her birth certificate if I can change her last name to his and put his name on her birth certificate without trying to find which jail her bio dad is in to get papers signed? I am trying to avoid dealing with him.. my husband is her dad! he has supported her financially and emotionally since before I even had her! please help!! thanks in advance!!
In order to have someone put their name on the birth certificate they will have to be present, You cannot put someone's name on a certificate without them there. Also, The biological father may need to give up his parental rights even if his name is not on the birth certificate. This is a court process but you can find out more information by calling the Department of Human Services in your city.
I feel like I'm being ripped off. I'm on my 3rd system and of course, warranty expires and I get this. Luckily the first two systems were under warranty. The second one was faulty right out the box! And it's not like I play all day and burn it out. My problem now is that I cannot play any games. It happened while playing the new GTA V. The game froze, causing me to have to pull the plug. Now, it makes an eject noise when I turn it on, and none of my games can be read. So I search the internet for solutions and people with the same problem. "Coincidentally" tons of people are having the same problem occur while playing GTA V. So I try the solutions, safe mode, reformat, rebuild, etc, and still nothing. Funny how this happens to a vast number of people RIGHT BEFORE the release of the PS4. So to get around this I said hey, I can download games, they're not discs. I buy GTA San Andreas, install it, bam. Freezes after the first mission. It tells me that it was corrupted and has to be reinstalled. and downloaded ag
Did you try to clean out the lazer disk on the system? It could be built up dust.
Also, If the warranty expired you may still be able to call Sony and ask them for an extended warranty or if you could renew it. If you still have the receipt then I would take it too Gamestop or where you bought the system from and demand a refund. Don't keep buying systems that you have had problems with, Sounds like someone could of possibly gotten a virus with a download. Call up Sony
I'm 14 f. My boyfriend is 17. We met 4 years ago. He moved in and we started dating. We've been on and off. I know it's not healthy. But last year in march he said he cheated on me and we broke up and 2 days later he got with some girl he knew I hated. They lasted 6 months and I tried to move on. I talked to so many guys and none of them could keep me from not being sad. It worked for a while but nothing, nobody could stop my heart break when I was alone or when It was night time. He was my first love. My first everything. In September we got back together but we only lasted 2 weeks then he left me again for the same girl I hate. I was furious. Him knowing what struggles I was going through and how I gave myself to him twice and he just does that I was like nah son. I promised I wouldn't get back with him but in November I had a message on Facebook from him. He was saying he was so unhappy and couldn't stop thinking about me and he was suicidal cause he lost the best thing in his life. I didn't feel sorry for him at all to be honest. That's nothing compared to what he put me through! But as my self the dumb self I am, ended up taking him back again. I know I'm young and there's plenty of fishies in the sea but he's my drug and I'm addicted. I love the feeling he gives me but he's ruining my life. I can't get unhooked though. I recently saw his ex (the girl I hate) posting statuses on Facebook saying they hung out and that he doesn'thave a gf, blah blah. I was so pissed cause he blocked her supposesably but he could of unblocked her or used his other account. I questioned him but he denied it. She said shed back off but I don't trust him or her. She's going to try to talk to him at school and I don't know what tO do. I still don't believe him, she's crazy and makes up lies but i don't know who to believe. I feel like hes the boy who cried werewolf. Lies lies lies then when it's true nobody believes him. What should I do?
Move on
He is completely wasting your time. The reason he is sending you this message stating he is unhappy is because he KNOWS you will take him back and he uses it too his advantage. The guy left you not once but twice, He cheated. Generally a golden rule in any relationship is never to take back a cheater no matter how bad you want too. Basically, He wasn't happy in the relationship with you, Didn't respect you or love you and went ahead and did something he KNEW was wrong. As long as you let yourself be taken advantage of, The longer he will continue to use you as a rebound. You are not a doormat, If he is your drug then you need to get yourself into some rehab (not literally) but move on. Cut him loose and realize that the guy is nothing but full of shit. As long as you allow yourself to be a fall back, You will never move on from it.
Please don't juge. I got a lot of that already! 15/F. I think my pregnant. All the symtoms are there like abnormal pain and tender boobs and stuff like that! I want a abortion. I know its killing a poor soul and so on. But I don't have any other choise. Also I can't tell my mom or dad because it was with my nephew (32). I have this huge pain °̩n my left kidney. What could this be? And how could I stop it? Please don't be mean, I only need someone who is supprtive thxX
You need to tell someone, Whether it was willingly it was rape and what makes matters worse is it was incestuous. (Family related)
When people who have sexual intercourse with family members get pregnant not only are their a high risk for deformities and disabilities but there is also a lot of risk of other complications as well.
Hiding the truth isn't going to help you, The baby's father will eventually be revealed somewhere down the line..
Your nephew raped you, That's exactly what happened.
You must let your parents know the situation, If you choose not to abort then I highly recommend the possibility of putting the baby up for adoption. Legally, Your cousin can get into a lot of trouble. Incest is a crime and carries a hefty punishment.
You must get checked out and see a doctor as soon as possible to make sure you are well.
For as long as I can remember, I've been addicted to invading others privacy. Deep down, I know it's wrong but it's hard to stop. I've read conversations between my sister and her then boyfriend, hacked into family members facebook accounts to find out what they're saying about me, stalked both of my sisters blogs just to check on them, read their diaries, etc. I recently told my sister this and she's furious with me, which she has every right to be. I'm so angry with myself for letting myself be that impulsive. I feel horrible and like a huge jerk. How can I stop this habit for good? I've never heard of other people having this problem before.
You are being paranoid which is causing you too snoop around.
You stop by acknowledging the wrong, How would you feel if someone intruded on something that was private too you? Everyone is entitled to their privacy, To snoop around will only cause people to not trust you. In the end, It has no benefits. It is catty, dishonest and hurtful to invade others privacy because you feel the want to know everything.
You fix the problem, You are already on the right track by acknowledging the wrong. Put yourself in their shoes....Your biggest secret was revealed because someone decided to intrude on your privacy. Stop hacking facebooks that don't belong too you, Stop reading diaries. Not everything is about you or are even talked about you. Being impulsive upon others privacy isn't something you want people to remember you by, So there you change.
I have a crush on this guy.He's 19.He likes me but just as a friend , not even a close friend.i always have to knock him and he replies with short answers and sometimes he doesn't even reply.I told him that i like him and all he said was "aww".i also asked him "why don't you feel the way I feel about you?" and he told me that "You're a kid". But guys older then him asked me out , why does he feel that way?I mean I want him very badly.Don't know what to do :(
You didn't say your age.
I agree with Solid, You are wasting your time. This guy is not interested you in a romantic way and doesn't seem to even be really interested in a maintaining a friendship with you. Stop trying to contact because it's not getting anywhere.
i asked my bf to talk to his friend and ask him to stop asking me out.. and then they got in a fight should i just end everything? i need help... PLEASE AWNSER
Why didn't you tell his friend to stop asking you out? If you have and he didn't listen then maybe you weren't being stern enough?
I would of said "I am in a relationship with your friend, If you were a real friend then you would learn to respect that"
Getting your boyfriend involved of course would ruin a friendship. I need more details to really tell you how to handle it..
21/f my boyfriend is turning 21 soon and I want to take him out to a bar, we don't live in a city like area and would only be able to be driven to the bar. I was planning on getting a car service to pick us up and bring us home (we are only about 20 minutes from the bar) but I don't know how expensive it will be! Does anyone have any idea or other suggestion? I read that I can call 1800-TAXICAB but that would most likely be more expensive. Thanks for the insight!
You could call your local cab company in your town for information on how much they charge. Most Taxi's charge about 3 dollars per mile.
Figure, If the bar is about 20 minutes then round trip it may be anywhere from $25-$30.00
Both of my best friends (Let's call them Jessica and Carrie) are moving away in a week. They're the ones I hung out with at school everyday, texted them all day, etc. Now that they're both moving back to they're old schools I don't really have anyone to hang out with anymore.
Jessica seems to be happy that she's moving and doesn't really care that she won't see me :/ Carrie's parents made her move and so did Jessica's.
How can I deal with this? It seems like every friend I make ends up moving away because of something. This has happened countless times. What do I do?
Over the years I have had many friends move away, Go off to college etc. Sometimes we just need to learn that not everyone is meant to stay in our lives forever. I am sure Jessica isn't happy she won't see you, Staying positive might be her way of coping. Moving isn't always a bad thing, Maybe Jessica chooses to look at the bright side.
Unfortunately, These friends weren't meant to stay. The good news though is that it's never to late to make new friends. Although it may not always be easy, It's possible. Just try to talk to people and get involved in things that you may find a common interest.
I'm having a hard time deciding what to do with my life from here on out. I don't know anyone else to ask and I used to come to this site for advice in middle school, so I thought I'd try again. Here is the situation.
I'm 22 and my boyfriend is 23. We live together in a college town in the midwest. We've been together for 2 years, and have been living together for 6 months. I graduate college in May and the lease on our apartment ends in the summer.
My boyfriend has already finished his degree and has set his sights on a graduate school in another state. I'm really happy for him that he wants to go to grad school. He has worked really hard to get admitted and save money over the past year, and for that I am really proud of him. I know he is going to love the town that the school is in and really thoroughly enjoy the masters program he's been admitted to. He's planning on moving up there when our lease ends in the summer, in time for the fall semester to start. The school is in a different state and a 13 hour drive from where we live now.
Of course, he is hoping and assuming that I am going to move there with him. Like I said, we already live together now, so by most people's standards, you can assume we're in it for the long haul. The problem is, I'm not sure I want to move to the grad school with him. On the surface, there are a few reasons I don't want to move there. First of all, I most likely can't get a job in my field there. I'm about to get my bachelors degree in journalism and there are zero jobs there even remotely related to journalism. Also, its very far north, and therefore cold and dark for much of the year. I know it sounds trivial, but I think I have a light case of seasonal depression disorder and I really don't thrive under those conditions. (As an endearment/pet name, by boyfriend calls me "Sunny" because he knows how happy I get when it's sunny out.) Its also far away from where any of my family and friends live. Living there would only be for a year, but those are just some of the surface-level reasons that this town really isn't the place for me.
But there are some deeper problems that make it difficult for me to decide whether I should move there or not.
The main one is that my boyfriend is very protective and jealous- and this has been an issue throughout our relationship. He got very upset when he found out that I had become particularly close with a male coworker early in our relationship, even though me and the coworker were no more than friends. (and just "work friends" at that- we almost never hung out together outside of work.) Since the coworker incident, my boyfriend has been paranoid about my fidelity. A few months ago, my boyfriend nearly got in a bar fight over a male friend asking me if I wanted to sing a kereoke duet with him. (I wish that was a joke, but unfortunately, it happened.) After the "Kereoke Incident" (as we now call it) I made it clear to my boyfriend that I seriously wanted to break up with him, but the next day, he signed himself up for anger management classes and has been attending them ever since. So I gave him a second chance at our relationship thinking, "Nobody's perfect, but someone willing to put serious effort into being a better person and a better partner is worth sticking around for." A true asshole will not regret being controlling, and an average joe will apologize for it, but someone making an honest attempt to fix a major behavioral flaw is a truly good person, right?
But the way I look at it, this controlling/jealous streak is two sides of the same coin when it comes to deciding to move to the grad school with him. On one side, it is a fair rationale to decide to not move with him. If I decided I didn't want to continue a relationship with someone as controlling/jealous as he is, I could live with that. The way he's treated me thus far has given me plenty of reason to end it, and maybe this move is the natural closing of our time together.
ON THE FLIP SIDE, I feel like moving to a new place with him could be like hitting the reset button on our relationship. It could give us a total second chance together in a town where we don't know anyone. We've got the lessons learned in our first apartment under our belts, and can move to the next one and put those into use. For example, when I told my boyfriend about my male coworker, I had no idea that it was going to absolutely disturb him like it did. I didn't know my boyfriend as well then, and I didn't know he had such a jealous personality. If I were to do it all over again, the obvious lesson learned is "don't rub your friendship with a guy in a jealous man's face." With this under my belt, I can make our relationship at the grad school go much more smoothly. It was a steep learning curve for sure, but I'm over the hump now.
In general, I really really don't want to break up with him. I love him very much and 99% of our relationship is nothing but true friendship, good sex, and having a hilarious time as roommates. Despite the bad picture I've painted, he is in general, a sweet and pretty selfless guy; he is self-reflective and feels serious regret when I told him he has hurt me. But I can't for the life of me make heads or tails of the decision to move with him next year. There's good reasons to break up and good reasons to stay together. Endless pros and endless cons. Half of me is saying "Move! Whats the worst thing that could happen? You hate it and break up?" and the other half of me is saying, "Are you actually considering moving to a podunk town thats dark half of the year for a man that controls you?" Isn't there something romantic about moving somewhere crazy for love in your early 20s? On the flip side, aren't I too young/wild/independent/good for him and his shit?
I know this is long, so MANY THANKS for reading and responding. Its really tearing me up so any advice is appreciated. THANK YOU.
Before I give my advice, I want to throw in there that for once, I am truly impressed with your intelligence. Not many people seem to have any sort of common sense these days so props to you.
On the down side my friend, I would say moving in with the boyfriend seems like a bad idea. One thing that really strikes me is this.. (He is jealous, protective and has anger problems and the big one is that you once before tried to break up with him) Although the boyfriend decided to seek help for this problem, You seem like you have your mind made up that moving isn't the right choice for you. Again, I really got to give it too you. I am very impressed that you are putting yourself first and deciding what is right for YOU and not making the mistake of doing what satisfies other people.
I think it would be in your best interest to stay home. Your friends and family should come first before your relationship. If anything where to ever happen between the two of you, You would need a plan B. *sigh* Likewise this relationship wouldn't work in the long run, The reason I say this is because you were on the rocks once before. The guy has jealousy problems and along with this problem is trust issues. If he truly trusted you then he would have no need to be jealous and a relationship without trust, Is no relationship at all.
Hugs, You are smart and I wouldn't tell you if you weren't. You're heart just isn't in it
Hi... 16F
*̩ lost my verginity this weekend. He weared a condom. And *̩ think *̩ have efection now*! *̩ have a high body tempreature and if *̩ pee it burns. *̩ can't tell my mom because se will kill me! Please help...
If it burns when you pee then you likely have a UTI (Urinary tract infection) which can be treated by antibiotics.
Considering you are of age 16, You legally do not need your parents in the doctors office with you. There is a law called patient privacy act, Any over 14 is entitled to their privacy. I suggest you see a doctor and get this treated.
iam from india..during having romance fun me n my gf got excited so i came in her back.but during this we didnt puts off our innerwear.while having romance i cummed inside my underwear so due to wetness of my cum inside underwear my gfs panty region between ass hole n vagina got wet .so is there any chance of pregnancy????..n yaa she is still a virgin
You stated she is still a virgin which indicates you did not have sexual intercourse. In this case she is likely NOT pregnant.
I am 52 and have decided to 'reinvent' myself. I have been in retail management for 25+ years and have hated every minute. I've regretted both NOT going into the military and NOT obtaining a college degree. Last year, after much debate, I decided to pursue college again (I have taken courses hear and there, but no degree). I want to do something more fulfilling, to help others, and to make a difference. I have chosen social work, specifically in the school systems. My questions are; am I wasting my time? It will take about 3+ years for a BSW and an additional 3 more for an MSW. Not to mention the money. Although there are hundreds of companies listed on the AARP website that seek out employees over 50 (in my case it will be 56), but I am really concerned about having a degree in hand yet no one will give me the time of day.
As far as pursing a career, I think it's a fantastic idea. It is never too late to go back to college and get an education in what you desire. I have read a few times where people get a degree at 90+
We live once life, We have one shot at making life be about what we want it too be. As long as you have education and a degree then you are a candidate for a potential hiring position. Nobody can turn you away because of your age, This is discrimination and a company can be charged for turning you away for that reason.
A person who would be likely not to stand a chance would be someone with no experience, degree or any sort of education despite their age.
I have in my lifetime been in counseling and one of my main request I had for the resource center was to work with someone who was older. I felt they had more wisdom and life experience then those who were young with little experience. I have been a client for over 10 years, I have had both young and older social workers and I have benefited way more from the older people rather then people who were in their 20's and 30's. So, You are very much an important person in this field. Don't feel you aren't, Enter with confidence, Do your work with confidence because I feel you will do fantastic.
I was texting my boyfriend last night and I asked him why he hadn't been talking to me much. He downright told me that he wasn't sexually attracted to me because of my weight. What should I do? Should I break up with him?
He is arrogant and insensitive, Yes you break up with him.
The guy is a judge mental ass who has no clue of what it means to love someone. Loving someone isn't about how they look, It's about who they are as a person. I pity this kid for the way he thinks, I really do.
Basically, He is a waste of space. Nobody is worth someones time who puts them down because of their appearance.
I am a 22 year-old college student, and I live at home with my parents and my grandmother. My 28 year-old older sister lives away from home, and is in an abusive relationship with her boyfriend of four years.
Today I went to mass with my mom, and I never noticed how badly my sister's situation affected her. For awhile she told told me that she chose not to get involved in the situation, and that my sister made her choice. In her opinion, she chose her boyfriend over the family.
Before leaving mass she suggested that I light a candle for my paternal grandmother who passed away in February, and since I know the kind of relationship that she holds with members of that side of the family I was kind of puzzled. So I kept on asking her why she was crying over her death, and she told me that it was because my grandmother would have been there to talk to her about this situation when she was alive and healthy.
I am very concerned about my mother because she's not the healthiest person. Yet, admittedly, I'm not the right kind of person to go to about the situation I'm too temperamental, passionate, high-strung, and I hate when certain things like this are out of my control. Also, under certain circumstances in the past, I have not been the best person to go to in drastic situations although I do try to be supportive.
I have no idea what to do, I have tried talking to my sister but this always turns into a fight. As far as she's concerned, regardless of the situation that occurred between them less than two months ago in which her friends and family found out about her situation with her boyfriend, she's happy and safe and he's in love with her. I can't help but think that she's only there because her boyfriend is controlling the situation.
My mom is not the healthiest person in the world. She has diabetes that went untreated for years, this condition left her blind in one eye, unable to wear heels, and with her kidneys unable to function properly making it where she needs to go to dialysis every other day.
The main thing is that unlike most people, she does not have a close group of girl friends who she can hang out with to get her mind off of things. This probably results from the fact that she has never been particularly involved in her community, and she doesn't work.
So, how do I handle this situation? I told her to go to church and ask to speak to a priest (we're Catholic), to talk to a cousin who she grew up with, and to even talk to my sister's friend who has been extremely helpful in this situation, and has definitely shown that if we need to talk to she's there for us.
This is one of them questions that is indeed hard to answer but I'll give it a shot.
I suggest your mother try going to counseling for depression. You're mother is grieving the death of your grandmother and is trying to cope with your sisters situation.
I second the person who suggested another go at an intervention. I, Who had been in a physically abusive relationship will give you a few pointers though...
People who are in a abusive relationship tend to have little to no mind of their own. Sadly, People who are in this sort of situation need to want to help themselves. I'm not sure exactly how effective an intervention will go as the letter didn't work but I would maybe write her another letter expressing your concerns and how you love her. If you guys are close at all, Maybe talk to her in person but don't come across as attacking her. Let her know that if she wants too talk that you will listen, Leave the door open for her so she will come when she is ready.
I also do think it's a wonderful idea for your mother to talk to the priest also. Try to get her involved in the community, Maybe have her visit an animal shelter a few times a week just to spend time with the animals etc.
Do other people see my username when I'm logged in and I ask a question?
No, Only people who are level 2 moderators and higher.
I'll try to keep this short. About 2 years ago, I discovered my boyfriend putting pictures of girls faces on pornstar's bodies. The pictures were taken off of facebook. Not only did he do this, but he had countless folders of these girls stored away. Some, were his ex's. Others, were girls he had crushes on in the past.
They all live in the same town as I do, and while I was going to a local breakfast shop I saw one of the girls he had done this to. The girls don't know about the pictures, I haven't exactly told too many people. It wasn't her fault, I know that, but I felt my heart sink as soon as I saw her. I felt the same pain I had felt when I found out about all of the pictures, and I fear that this thing that happened will haunt me for forever.
Yes, I am still with the man who did this, because I have been trying to put the past behind me after he has assured me that he truly feels terrible for what he has done.
What also worries me is that I recently read an article about a man who devoted a whole website to actions much similar to what my boyfriend had done. He photoshopped pictures of girl's faces onto porn stars' bodies , as well. This man pushed the envelope further by falsely accusing the women to be whores, and planted the blame on them.(basically, he denied ever photoshopping the pictures. this was because the website was a forum, and people would degrade the women in the pictures) Eventually, so the article says, the man was forced to stop by the police, that this was a form of harassment, and he could get sent to jail if he didn't stop (sorry for the lack of detail)
However the point is that my boyfriend had thought to do this same degrading, terrible thing that this man was getting in trouble for, deeply disturbs me. The only difference is in my boyfriends point of viewm it was for his pleasure..
Still, it gives me a strange perspective.
I just don't know how to cope with this post-anxiety that seems to always creep up on me at random times, and I honestly feel emotionally mind-f*cked, to say the least.
I don't know where to go from here, since it's already been so long of a time. He seems to still really love and care for me, but I just can't shake the fact that there is a "what if" to it all. I also think that this type of behavior is abnormal and I am with someone who is always hiding something, or has a wall up.
Overall, I'm really just asking advice for my own sanity. What would be the best solution for me? How do I get out of this loop of insecurity?
Thank you
It is normal to feel the way you do, He broke your trust.
"Trust takes years to build, seconds to break,and forever to repair. If its lost it's not easily found and if it is found its never the same again."
My friend, To be honest with you things never may be the same again and you may never fully trust him the way you once did.
You have every right to feel anger, He hurt you. Taking pictures of women and fantasizing about them. His actions were hurtful not just too you but these women, These women were victims.
I may never truly understand the reason for you wanting to still be with him and that's okay. He hurt you and he deserves your lack of trust and I would of personally never took him back. This man is crass and has no clue of his wrong doing.
The reason you feel insecure is because of his poor choice of actions. This man has broken the secure barrier and overstepped his boundaries. Unfortunately, Damage may of been done as sometimes when someone fantasizes about women they know it is almost a fantasy of wanting to cheat. (In my point of view to say the least) I'm leaning more towards moving on and finding someone else, This relationship has ended long ago.
Good luck partner
I need to lose weight! What you should pay more attention - fitness or food? Thanks
I have lost 143 lbs and I will give you some tips on how I did it.
Cutting out fried, fatty or any foods that contained "Added" sugars.
Example:
Graham Crackers
Fat (10g)
Sugar (23g)
Ingrediants: Brown sugar, Corn Syrup, Eggs etc.
I was raped at the age of 6. No one knows about this and I want it to remain that way. I am now 24 and engaged to be married to an amazing person and I need to fake my virginity for my wedding day. Please help.
There is no need to hide the past, In order to move on from it somewhere in life you must accept it. We don't need to forgive or forget but for your own sake acceptance is important.
It is okay to feel scared but it's not okay to allow yourself to live in fear. You were a victim, You are not a fault or a blame.
Sweetie, Let me explain something..
Sometimes horrible things happen to people, When I was young I was raised in an abusive house hold. We must learn to come to terms that the past is something that happened, We cannot deny it. As long as we live in denial and anger then we will never allow ourselves closure. It's okay to talk about it, It's okay cry and scream about it but it's not okay to allow yourself to bottle it up to where it is allowing you pain and hurt.
There are many resources and people who can help you, This would be the first step towards your healing process.
A good therapist or even someone you truly trust but you should talk about it. Nobody can understand something if they aren't aware of it. It's nothing to be embarrassed about, It wasn't your fault. Try to accept, Write in a journal how you feel, your anger and try to write how you will learn to cope with it.
A new year, A new start. Be healthy, Be happy.