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my photobucket account was deleted! I was on there this morning...uploading pictures...now I try to sign in and it says there no such account. I DO have the right username and password. and I had pictures on my myspace from my photobucket that arent there anymore. HELP!

Their site is messing up at the moment; I just had the same problem. Apparently they got hacked or something, but they have back-up files so it'll be fine. They've temporarily removed the affected accounts while they sort it out and they should be back up within the hour.
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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sometimes i get real frustrated with my b/f. and i start to hit and throw things i feel that if i dont get my anger under control that i will hurt him one day and it will jeopardize our relationship. how can i get my anger under control?

It sounds silly, but every time you want to throw something, try and count to ten and calm down. It might not work every time so don't worry if you forget - don't get angry at yourself or you might take it out on your boyfriend. It'll soon become a habit though and will hopefully make you less physically angry!
Good luck :) and can I just say go you for admitting you have a bit of a problem here and for trying to solve it!!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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Ok i'm 13 and i still kinda have baby cheeks...(not very extreme baby cheeks but they're still anoying) lol Is there any way you can reduce the size of them? I know your supposed to grow into them or something like that, but is there any way to get rid of them?
Thnx~

There's a new product out by Rimmel that helps define your cheekbones and make your baby cheeks less pronounced. It's quite expensive though, so I suggest looking for alternatives or doing it yourself with seperate make-up. It's basically a dark blusher and a really light powder, and you put the blusher underneath your cheekbone and the light power on top. It'll take a bit of practise, so don't worry if it doesn't work first time.
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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i just want to sya i love this website,and that it has inspired me to start my own advice column at my school!!i really want 2 b/c i like giving out advice and seeing people happy!!!, but i have to talk to the dean about it..and i don't know want to say b/c i want him to take me seriously and not laugh in my face...i'm really nervous..b/c i don't want to make the dean mad b/c i'm his assistant,and i'm freaking out!!!!!! what do i say to make him take me seriously????? please help!!! i'll rate 5's for any help!! thanks!!! -nervous girl

You're his assistant - to have got that far up he must take you seriously!! Just be calm and say you think it'd be a good idea to add an advice column to your school's newspaper, or to start an advice column in it's own right. If he doesn't like the idea, get people you know (not just your friends) to vote on it. Ask people if they'd like it and keep a tally of the yes/no/maybe results. If you've done research, he'll definately know you;ve taken it seriously. BUT don't do the research before you speak to him because it'll seem like you're undermining his authority (you can say something along those lines ['I'll research into it, ask people if they'd like it, that kind of thing, but I didn't want to without your permission 'cause it seemed kinda sneaky'] - he'll appreciate that. And tell him about Advicenators :)

Good luck!! I hope it goes well!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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does anyone know any good exercises for your butt? i hate asking this but i hatee mine

reminds me of cottage cheese asss :/

Walking backwards!! Sounds funny, but it really works :)
Try dry-brushing your skin (either with a body brush or one of those wire-y sponge thigns that are made out of net) to exfoliate your skin and avoid cellulite as well.
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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ok !i am having a really bad problem. well me and my boyfriend got into a serious arrgument today. he got mad at me cause he said that i was smiling at his friend. i am like omfg cant i even look at anyone.and on the bus today he broke up with me. then he called me and asked me if i would go back out with him. he apoligized and i said ok. well he called me and talked to me a while ago and i dont even think his sister likes me. so what should i do brake up with him or not? srry for this bein so long.
i will rate all 5's and give feedback for helpful answers only.

First off: you shouldn't break up with him because of his sister. That's as bad as him not letting you smile at his mates. (Although I realise there are problems other than his sister).

I think you should wait it out for a little while. He is probably being possesive because he cares about you a lot. It's cute but you shouldn't have to deal with it. Let's hope he's learnt his lesson and will stop it now!! If he is still being all possessive and not even letting you look at people after a week or so, then have a word with him. Tell him that you like him a lot/love him but you can't be with him if he is going to be like this. You are your own person and you can be friends with whoever you want. Don't let him dictate your life and who you smile at. Assure him that you like/love him - he is probably just insecure.

If he is STILL doing it...then I think you need to break up with him. He obviously doesn't trust you and you don't like how he treats you, and that doesn't make for a healthy relationship.

However, this isn't all about him. You're going to have to try and put up with his sister, and make double sure that you don't flirt with anyone. Sure, you can talk to them, and yep it is his problem if he sees that as flirting, but just make sure you definately don't flirt with anyone 'cause that could really hurt your boyfriend.

Good luck!!

Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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hi, i dont know if you know about obsesive compulsive disorders but if you do then i'd really like your help.
I dont know what to do because mine is interfering with everyday life and makes me very anxious and upset.
i have the one where i wash my hands alot when making food which sounds normal but it is extreme.
the one thats the worst though is i have to say "take care, i love you" to my boyfriend alot and especially when he goes out, which sounds ok but i have to keep saying it until it feels right and make him keep saying it too, if i dont do it then i feel awful and think someone will kill him or he'll die in a car accident and it will be all my fault because i didnt say those words.
Also, if i'm in the kitchen or something i get a voice (my voice) in my head that tells me to do something like put a spoon in a certain place or put something in the bin etc or something tragic will happen to my boyfriend or another of my worst fears will happen, if i try to ignore it then my voice in my head starts screaming at me to do it and i get worried and cant decide what to do cos part of me knows bad things wont happen just because i dont do a certain thing but at the same time i darnt risk it and get myself into such a state and get bad anxiety and panic and get upset.

anya, 21, uk

Hey,

I have mild OCD that I am currently trying to keep under control, so I can relate. Firstly I'll say: DON'T WORRY. And don't think you're alone. OCD is a psychiatric problem, and if it gets any worse you'll need to see a doctor about it. Research it online; it helped me a lot.

OK, don't think about EVERYTHING that you're doing or not doing. Just focus on one thing at a time and try and change it. For example, everytime you hear that voice say back to it, 'why should I do that?'. It'll probably say because if you don't something bad will happen, but try and ignore it. You know nothing bad will happen; that's half way to solving the problem.

When you panic, just focus on your breathing and try and do something else - watch TV (preferably a show you like but an episode you HAVEN'T seen before you don't know what's happened and can't get distracted), or make a shopping list, or ring someone up. It might be good to go online when you're anxious, so you can talk it out and get it off your mind. Feel free to email me anytime you feel bad and feel like you 'need' to do something OCDish. My email addy is mitzirox1986@hotmail.com or hippiebanana13@yahoo.co.uk :)

I know it's a really hard mental attitude to get out of, but through just three months of trying I managed to reduce my OCD to such a low level that I forgot about it nearly all the time!! Of course, it won't just 'go away' and it flares back up whenever I have a lot of stressfull stuff going on, but I am a great believer that while you should probably get support, you shouldn't just go on OCD drugs straight away. They'll just make you more insecure and make you think you can't cope without the drugs. Try and exert some willpower first :)

Do you have problems making eye contact with people? I used to have huge problems with that and I overcame it by forcing myself to look people in the eye, and then down to the floor if I absolutely had to for a couple of seconds, and now it's become habit. It gave me a lot more confidence and I think it really helped me overcome my OCD. You should try it :)

I think you probably have to say 'take care, I love you' so many times because you ALWAYS say it. That means it sounds average when you say it and you have to keep saying it so it has 'meaning' and will 'protect' your boyfriend. Try saying something else, for example, 'I love you, drive safely' or whatever. Change what you say - it'll make the relationship a teeny bit more interesting and although it'll sound weird the first time you say it, you'll soon get used to saying other things. Don't get obsessive over saying a different thing every time though - you don't need to do that. Just vary it once in a while, and when you see that nothing goes wrong you'll get more confidence and will be able to do it more often!

Best of luck!!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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latly ive been finding it hard to come to advicenators as in like i have time and im bored but it just skipped my mind. how to i stay to help people and get thatwarm fuzzy feeling when you really help someone and know they feel better.

Solemnstar

I've had the same problem recently. I haven't answered any questions in a long time. You won't get the 'warm, fuzzy' feeling if you push it. Wait until you're ready and you really want to come back and then answer a question you feel strongly about. Eventually you'll get back into it. I'm planning on doing the same when I get the time!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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You helped me when I was having trouble choosing between my childhood crush(Michael) and my true love(Aaron) Of course I chose aaron. NOW I started dressing in black for a few days to annoy my teacher. (She hates black.) These guys (DJ, Travis, Michael(not the same one) and Joey) tols Aaron that I was a devil worshiper(DW)!And aaron broke up with me. I am trying to make Aaron believe I am not a devil-worshiper(my bff even told him for me) because I TRULY Love Aaron. I dream about him! Joey told Aaron that I was a DW because he likes me(GROSS!) He told DJ he wanted to have sex w/ me! so nasty! DJ doesn't like me because I told my bff that if I was her I wouldn't go out w/ DJ (they were a couple) but it was her decision. So he told Aaron. Travis told Aaron I was a DW because I wouldn't give him my food at lunch! And Michael just hates me. Sorry Its so long

Right. Well first of all, if Aaron is going to break up with you because of silly, unfounded rumours, he's not worth bothering with. Really! You might think that you love him but trust me, there will be someone better out there for you.
If you still want to give Aaron a go though, the best option is talking to him yourself. On his own. Don't get your best friend to do it, don't tell it to his best friend. Send an email if it's too hard in person or he tends to ignore you now, just do whatever you do yourself. This is about you two, not his friends or your friends or anyone else who may be involved.
You need to tell him that you are not a devil worshipper (also, if he really loved you he wouldn't care if you were a murderer. Although I guess loving someone that much comes after marriage, not high school dating, lol). Tell him why you were wearing black. And then tell him straight that if he'd rather believe some dumb rumours than you, he can forget about your relationship. He obviously doesn't know you. If he looks interested again and wants to take you back, then make sure he knows he has to know who you are and trust that if you are going to get back with him!!
If he doesn't want you back, then just remember that he's a petty little boy who would rather believe rumours than what his heart is telling him. And come back here for some kind words and advice on how to get over him quicker =)
Good luck hun!!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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me and my ex jus broke up and there's this kid (brandon) and he likes me and i think i kinda like him too, but there's this other kid (mitchell) and i think i kinda like him too, all my friends think mitchell is rly cute and some of my friends think brandon is cute but spme think he's scummy n dont want me to go out with him but i dont know what to do. i could either keep tryin to get mitchell to like me or tell brandon that i like him and go out with him. please help me because i cant make up my mind.

Well first of all take some time to get over breaking up with your ex then go for whoever you want to go out with 'cause your friends dont know whats in your head, you do.

I'd go for Brandon 'cause he already likes you, you cant make someone i.e Mitchell love you.

Blessed Be
Rach

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my mom is overweight, and i am not, however i want to tone my muscles an be in all around better physical condition. I wanted us to join a pilates class together, but she is afraid that's too strong of program to begin with, as we currently are not doing any sort of athletic activities. We were going to do yoga instead, and then move to pilates perhaps later...but my boyfriend said that yoga stretches your muscles and elongates them, but doesn't give you much exercise in the way we were hoping. Is this true? What should we do? all suggestions are appreciated! thanks!

You could start off with a yoga/pliates video at home together, so you both get used to the pace and the basics and have an idea of what to expect before you go. You could also stop whenever you need to.
It might also be a good idea to increase your stamina by walking for 10 or 20 minutes, briskly, every day until you start classes. If you're finding this easy, try walking uphill, faster, or for longer.
You might wanna try Power Yoga. It's like yoga, but less stretchy and more of an aerobic work-out. It has the yoga breathing, poses etc...it's just quicker movements between them all. That's the most basic explanation I can give of it anyway :)
Have fun!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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I have this boyfriend right and we've been goin out for bout 3 months 2 weeks now and things have been goin great but lately i dont know like i've been gettin annoyed with him really easily and i dont know why. he hasn't done anything but he's just been getting me mad. i dont know what to do and i cant talk to my friends about it because i dont know if i really want to break up wit him or not and if i dont want but people find out i was thinking about it he'll break up wit me so i just really need your help right now. i'm so confused.

OK...sometimes we all get a little annoyed with everyone and anyone. A lot of the time it's just because we're having a bad day and they just the tiniest wrong thing, or they have a lot of little annoying habits that just all build up and eventually start to get on your nerves.
I'd say give it another week, and if you're still getting annoyed by him, then chances are things between you aren't right. Could you really spend anything up to years dating this guy when he annoys you so much? See if it dies down, and if it doesn't then I think it's probably best that you break up with him. You don't have to say that it's because he annoys you - you could just say that you feel like you've drifted apart or something.
Don't put up with something that isn't making you happy. Try and make it work, do something about it - and if it doens't work then at least you can say you tried.
And I think that's really sweet of you to want to talk to him first about this :)
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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Hey I saw you had 5 stars. I was wondering if you can help! Ok. I like this guy. Let's say his name is Bob. I really like Bob. Bob likes this girl name Hilary. Hilary is really ugly and everyone says he should like me not Hilary. Do you know anyway you think Bob will ask me out.


PLEASE DO NOT DELETE!!!!!

Hi,
I am so sorry this has taken me so long to answer! Exams - ew!
Anyway. If Bob likes Hilary, then it is probably because she has a really nice personality or something, and he doesn't care about looks. If he likes her then there really isn't anything you can do about it. It doesn't matter what everyone else says - he listens to himself. That's a good thing though - if he was going out with you, and everyone said he should break up with you, and he didn't listen to them...then that would be good. This thing with Hilary will end soon or just blow over. All you can really do is be yourself and be nice to Bob, and hopefully he will see the nice side to your personality and start liking you.
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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What do you do if you find yourself more and more each day, liking a guy who does not believe in God? I am a christian and I have my morals, standards and beliefs and he doesn't meet my number one standard which is believeing in God and having a relationship with him but, on the other hand, I am so drawn to him I can't help it.He's a really great guy but should we just stay friends and nothing more?

I'm not a Christian, but I can relate. It's really important to be in a relationship with someone who understands and appreciates who you are in every aspect - including religion. And who else would do that better than a Christian, someone of your own religion, right?
Yeah, maybe in the long run that will be the case. But unless you are planning on spending the rest of your life with this guy, does it really matter? Think of it as a learning experience - if it doesn't work out, you can ask yourself if it was to do with him not being a Christian. If it does (and even if it ends eventually but was still a great relationship), then you know not to exclude non-Christians in the future.
The fact is that some Christians, like some members of all other religions, are going to be assholes and not understand or appreciate you, even though they ARE the same religion. The same goes for non-Christians. You'll find someone who appreciates you AND your religion - whether they are a part of it or not. Luckily, a lot of people are really open-minded nowadays so just think of dating people belonging to other religions as 'expanding your horizons' rather than closing them in. What I'm saying is, don't expect a non-Christian to not understand how important God is to you...I think it depends more on the person and not their religion.
Give it a go with him! What's the worst that could happen? Your religions clash and you break up? Well then, you know to be more careful when considering non-Christians in the future. Just don't tar us all - Christians or otherwise - with the same brush :)
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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i want to join a martial arts class but dont know which one as in karate, judo, taekwondo etc, plus anyone know whats the difference between them all?

OK...
Karate: this is kicking, punching, blocking...probably the easiest, especially for the beginner, and the moves are very easy to pick up. The stances are kind of hard though.
Judo: this is all the usual fighting but you try and throw your opponent on the ground. Requires a higher level of fitness, ability to learn quickly and you have to be able to adapt to falling correctly so you don't get hurt.
Tae-kwondo: This is karate with more use of the hands. It involves a lot more flat hands and 'slapping' actions than karate and judo. Probably one of the less common martial arts...you might not find any teachers. But it is nice and easy to pick up.
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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Ok, i think i have the flu, and i keep coughing and my nose is all stuffy, but i don't have allergies. Would this be the flu? I already got my flu shot i thought though, so i wasn't sure... Anyway, does anybody know good ways to get rid of it fast? I an having a party in a week, and dont want to be sick for it. I tried all sorts of medicines, not all at the same time, but they just make me sleepy, and dont get rid of the cold. What else can i do? I've been drinking a lot of fluids. 14/f btw.

The medicines won't work straight away - and they mean to make you sleepy a lot of the time. Sleep is the best cure for flu :)
You might just have a really, really bad cold. With flu you'd also be all achy and tired (without the medicine). Either way, take it easy, sleep as much as you can, drink lots of water, and stay warm. Also, don't sniff when your nose is runny, blow! Otherwise you'll get catarr and feel bad even when your cold is over. Try getting lots of vitamin C too, through orange juice or supplement tablets.
I hope it goes away soon!!
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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my knee has been messed up for like a long time. i had x rays taken of it and they doctor said that the knee cap had slipped over alittle but the other one was over to the side too he said i was prolly born w/ that but now it has gotten worse and my knee cracks like 2-3 times a day and it hurts even more!!!! is there anything i can do to help it?

My friend's sister had this. She had to have an operation because in the end her knee cap kept falling out of place and it really hurt. It was only a little operation and she was on crutches for about...three weeks I'd say? It's about three months on now and she can do everything fine and her knees have stopped cracking and hurting. She couldn't do much excersize but swim before but now she's getting back into it all.
Talk to your doctor about what you can do...as your's isn't actually slipping out of place yet there may be something else he can do for it.
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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How do you know if you've found "the one"? What makes them special and different from all the others? If it's a matter of being about to "tackle life together" then why don't young relationships last? I'm 14 and a female. Me and my boyfriend have been going out for only almost 6 months. But we've been through a lot together already. He helped me though the death of my sister, I helped him raise his grades, he helped me stop cutting, I helped him avoid getting kicked out of school... What more can life throw at us? Despite our age, I think we have more of a "love" than some of the people who get married. I'm not saying I'm thinking of marrying the guy, but I'm wondering what it takes to have "true love". What more is there to it? And if you do reach it, how will you know? Sometimes I think the word love is used to freely. (From "I love potato chips!" to "I love my mom.") So what is love and how do you know? Please reply! And no immature, stupid comments, either! I want real opinions and ideas.

Circumstances don't make true love. If you love each other, it's just because you do, not because you've helped each other through bad stuff. It's not the bad stuff that has made you fall in love - it's the way that your love has dealt with the bad stuff that has made you realise that you've fallen in love.
Love is...whatever you want it to be. Love is when you would do ANYTHING for someone. Love is when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is better than a dream. And there's a difference between loving and being in love. I know this is the most annoying answer ever, but when you are in love, you will know. You'll just...know. You won't be obsessed and forever thinking of them - that's infatuation, not love. The person you are in love with has the power to make you feel on top of the earth with one look when you're on the brink of committing suicide.
You're right, the word love is used to freely. It's OK to use it about potato chips because everyone knows that that's a different kind of love, and no-one is going to get hurt (except your waistline) through your love of potato chips. If you go on a diet, potato chips won't cry over it. Saying that you love potato chips isn't decieving anyone.
The only time when saying 'love' is wrong is when it's in between the words 'I' and 'you' and you don't mean it. THAT gets people hurt. THAT makes people cry. THAT decieves people. Do you see what I'm getting at? I agree with you - only say it if you mean it. Humans aren't potato chips, because we can feel.
:)
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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I kno Im to yung, but I had sex wit my bf like 3 months aftr we went out and I didnt wanna do it but he prssurd me into it, so we did it. Now I unno wat to do but I like him a lot and I dun wanna break up wit him but he keeps makin me do it! Wat shud i do?

You either tell him that you don't want to have sex (don't be a doormat for god's sake, this is rape) and that either he respects this decision or you walk out on him, or you just walk out on him anyway. THIS GUY IS RAPING YOU. He doesn't love you - I'm sorry, I know that will hurt to hear but he's only in it for the sex. You could get this guy done for rape. Tell him that he has to start respecting your thoughts and feelings...
You have to STOP this right now before it gets any worse and pressure turns into force. If you don't stop him doing things like this then he could continue on to be a rapist and even start hurting people he's not dating. YOU HAVE TO STOP THIS NOW. I'm sorry and I know it sounds harsh but I don't think you realise how bad this is. Get OUT of there while you still can. Do you know that what he is doing is illegal? And if he's over 16 he could be done for statutory rape.
Is 'liking someone a lot' enough to put up with rape? I don't think so. Love isn't enough. GET OUT OF THERE, find someone better. You deserve better.
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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I think I love this guy but I really don't know anymore. I'm confused. I just moved a little while ago and we never see eachother. It seems like he likes other girls to me but I think it is just because I'm so far away and I barely ever get to see him. We live almost half an hour away and I'm scared to get hurt. I don't know what to do... We've been through a lot together and I know I love him but I feel like he's pushing me away. HELP! 14/F

Half an hour isn't that far away!! I got o a school where people come from an hour away and I still hang out with them! To see him you could both meet half way (your rents won't mind driving 15 minutes, or you could both catch a bus or a train) or have sleepovers/day-long vists at each other's houses. You could meet him at your old local town centre/mall as it will be easier for you to find that than him to find yours.
Suggest things like this to him. If he seems awkward, reluctant to agree to meet, or keeps making up excuses then you know he is trying to push you away. It could be just the distance, in which case these visits will solve that problem, and if he really is pushing you away then proposing seeing each other still, and regularly will reveal that. Try and do this over the phone or on IM with a webcam so you can really see his reaction. If you are viewing his webcam, leave it as long as you can before asking him about it so he's forgotten about it being on and won't try and hide his real facial expressions.
Did you make any agreement before you left that you two would stay together? Did you both make it completely clear that that was what you wanted? Because unless you both verbally said so, then he could be confused as to whether you want to continue the relationship, or even using this as an excuse to break up with you the coward's way - hoping the relationship will fizzle out and you'll forget about him. You'll also know if something's up if you leave it ages and he doesn't suggest meeting.
If he seems fine with arrangements to keep meeting, but you're still worried, talk to him. It can be over MSN/AIM/Yahoo/etc if it's too hard in person. Ask him if he's OK with you being far away, or tell him that you're a bit worried that he might leave you because it would be easier for him to have a relationship with someone closer to home.
Blessed Be,
Rach xxx

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