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Really bad advice, established in 2004.

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Someone told me once that you can tell how big a guy is from there foot. but then i heard it wasnt true. then someone else told me if you look from there wrist to the tip of there middle fingr thats usually how long it is wen its hard. is this true? someone please help me. is there an actual way to find out how big someone is?

No, that's not true. By those standards if you're born without hands or feet you're shit out of luck when it comes to your dick.

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me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 6 months. we still havent really made out. and just recently weve started giving longer pecks and way more. you understand? how do i get one of those long pecks into a makeout? and how do i get him to give me a hickey. i know there ugly. but for some reason i really want one. i never had one from a boyfriend before. what do i do? just hug him with my neck by his mouth? please give me advice were new to all this. and i want to show it instead of actually saying give me a hickey. i just want him to do it! thanks

When you're holding your kiss, open your mouth slightly. If he doesn't do the same you're dealing with a nincompoop. I've always wanted to slip that word into an answer. Then you can awkwardly tongue wrestle or whatever.

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Do more people dislike miley cyrus than like?

I was just wondering because she "seems" popular in america, where I live , the uk, not many people seem to be that keen on her.

So my main question is how popular is she in america, and within in certain age groups do the opinions change on her?

I know this isn't a proper question, but I'm just wondering why she is so popular....

At least in my area of the US, it's pretty much as Disconnected stated. The younger crowd of girls (and it is almost entirely a female fan/hater base, males are for the most part neutral)are very into her, but once you get to the teenage demographic there's a huge drop off in people that like her.


Her fan base is very different from that of the Jonas Brothers. The Jonas Brothers have all kinds of bizarre high school kids that want to ______ their ______s.

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Hi...

Everytime I stumble across people's questions...I always see your answers.

They are so short to the point, sarcastic and soo funnyy :)

I'm always laughing when I read you answers...

-Mariahwannabe (yeah I know, pathetic username..i was 13 at the time haha..)

Thank youuuu. And yea, your 13 year old username is nothing compared to mine, believe me.


EDIT:

Well yea, I made this when I was 16. My history on this site goes waaayyyy back through many columns, suspensions, bannings, etc.

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what is the job description of the ass. editor?

in order to claim this job i have to design a mock yearbook page as though i was the ass.edior

what should i do?

thanks!

At least at my school, the assistant editor sets up the look of the yearbook and does a substantial amount of creating layouts.


In your mock page, be sure to do it in Photoshop or In Design or some computer program of that sort. If you can't, well, you're not cut out to be the assistant editor.

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I really messed up. My friend told me that my crush, let's call him J, said that i need to leave him alone and to never talk to him again. I did the wrong thing and told him that he was a jerk without confirming that he indeed said what my friend said J said. When he messaged me back, he sounded really mad and ready to press harrassment charges on me if i wrote back. I wrote back saying sorry and that i am misunderstood at home and mistreated at school and i dont think that he will believe me.

What can i do now?

Your friend, while certainly pretty lolzworthy from afar, is a bitch.



You should have apologized for being momentarily thick headed in your reaction, you shouldn't have deflected blame to how your parents don't listen to you or you get made fun of at school or whatever.

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ok so when i shave down there, i can get to everything like theres some hairs that are noticable but they're kinda short. do guys care about that like everything else is clean and shaved all the way down


17/femalllle.

No.

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I'm 16, female.
My boyfriend of 2 years recently cheated on me. he was at a party and had sex with a senior from my school.i broke up with him. he now says he regrets everything and wants me back.He told me he loves me and only me. So, my question is should i believe him and take him back? i mean i love him and everything, i just don't wanna get screwed over.
thanks in advance :]!

I like your use of screwed over. Really fitting.



Yea you're going to get screwed over.

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There's this guy I've been talking to quite a bit for the past several months, and lately instead of just saying "Hi" or "Hello", he's been greeting me with "Hey You!"...does that usually mean someone's interested? Stupid question, heh....

He's more comfortable with you. Congratulations.

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orthodox jew?

Second most metal Jew.

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i said fuck you to my boyfriend.....i didnt mean to it just kind of slipped and now he wont speak to me...i need a way to apologize so that he really knows im sorry..help!

Say fuck me to him, he'll like that.

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Ok, here goes... I guess I should tell you a bit about myself, at least the basics: 17, female, and a virgin. Great, right? Now, onto the question.
Last year there was a guy in a couple of my classes that we're going to call "Aaron." He was a year older than me but I was in his classes because I am on a more advanced track. Well, Aaron sat in my little group during math class along with his other friend, "John." I had known John from before so we all got along really well. It wasn't soon before I started to really like Aaron. Besides celebrities, he was the only guy I had ever felt sexually attracted to. It was apparent he liked me too. As the months progressed, we started being more open with each other and joking about sex. One day when we were sitting in Spanish (our table was WAY in the back), we got on the topic of boobs somehow. I made a comment like "I don't get why guys like boobs, they're just big bags of fat!" to which he retorted, "Well, if you were a guy and saw your chest, you'd be attracted to them too." With that, he cupped my boob. I was kinda shocked! I mean, we were in the middle of the classroom! Part of me thought it was strange and the other part was in heaven! It felt really good and I completely trusted him. This continued on and we made out a few times. One day, we were eating lunch and he told me to meet him up at his locker in ten minutes. We each got locker passes and I follwed him up shortly after he left. I was really happy. His locker was located by a guy's bathroom. He told me to follow him inside. I was REALLY scared to go in. The big taboo, you know? But I was so enamored that I followed him in. He asked if I would give him a blowjob. He did not pressure me and asked very sweetly, making sure I was ok. Let me tell you, I've never wanted to do anything more in my life. I was so ready for it, but in a bathroom? No. It felt so wrong. It was then that our male science teacher walked in. We were shouted at but in the end we didn't get into too much trouble. After that Aaron became a recluse. I don't know if it was because he was embarrassed, angry, or scared, but he stopped talking to me. It really hurt me and I gave up the hopes of ever being with him.
Skip to the end of this year:
We eventually made up, but he still didn't really talk to me. It wasn't until a week ago I actually spoke to him for more than two minutes. We were confined to the auditorium, setting up amps for an assembly later that day. We talked, but we didn't mention the year before or anything sexual.
Later that day, Aaron sent me a message on facebook asking if I would give him a blowjob.
I really didn't know what to say. This was really unexpected and I wasn't prepared at all. I decided in my mind that I still really wanted to do it. I liked him a lot, and this was basically for my pleasure as much as his. He wants me to do it behind our stage, in a loft that holds all the costumes after school. It's hard to find the time, but I really want to!
So here are my questions:
1) Am I really wrong to do this?
2) Should I lie to my parents so I can do this?
3) At school?!
4) How can we find the time?
Thanks for everything and I'm sorry this thing is so LONG! I'm hyped on Caribou right now and my fingers just keep going!

1) Yes
2) No
3) No
4) see above.

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How do I get a guy to get me praegnent? I really like this guy and I want his babys but we haven't really done anything like sexual or anything. Is there some way I can get him to have sex with me but make sure I get praegnet?

Tubal ligation will get you pregnant for sure. Look into it.

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hey i liked the advice you've given me before :) soo..

i'm bringing my ex with me on vacation in july. we broke up in april, but we both decided that we were still gonna stay good friends and see where things go from there. i'm still in love with him. he broke it with me because he said his feelings changed, but he said he still wanted me in his life, and i know he means it too. we're going to myrtle beach together and do you think theres a chance of him falling back in love if we're like on the beach at night flirting and hanging out? what do you think of this situation? and what things can i do to make it as romantic as possible. i would do absolutely anything to get back with this guy.

17/f, 17/m
thanks so much for your time.

oh and we were together for about 9 months, if that helps. and we met in the summer and starting dating in the summer.

Mmmm I'm not sure how much help I'll be. From my point of view, this is pretty fucked up. I would never go on vacation with my ex if I didn't have feelings for her (and I'm assuming if he did have feelings he'd be with you still), and I'd never want to take an ex on vacation if I still had feelings for them but not vice versa.

So basically you're both pretty screwy from my point of view. So, because I'm absolutely no help, I asked my friend Inga about it. SHe's better qualified anyway, on account of her vagina.

inga (4:55:26 PM): poor girl
inga (4:55:41 PM): everyone has relationship problems tody! :|
inga (4:55:44 PM): today*
inga (4:55:45 PM): frick
inga (4:55:47 PM): ok so
inga (4:56:22 PM): theres always a chance that he might want her back so she should at least try when they're there
inga (4:56:38 PM): she shouldnt make it too obvious, especially with flirting
inga (4:56:45 PM): hmmm
inga (4:57:06 PM): and the beach is romantic enough so theres no need for any effort to make it more romantic
inga (4:57:20 PM): and besides theres always a chance that he wants frienship


Turns out she's not that helpful either.

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female

i've had sex a fair amount of times, and i never have orgasmed ! it sucks, and i really want to.
also, my pussys been kinda loose ever since before i had sex, could this be a sign of sexual abuse as a child ? when i lost my virginity the guy was like 'are you sure youre a virgin because you dont feel like it !'
i dont know , could that be the reason i dont orgasm ?
any answers and advice are welcome :)

a) most women do not orgasm through penetration, they need some other kind of stimulation (ie: oral).
b) there is no way to tell if someone is a virgin or not. The idea of looseness is figurative (loose morals), not literal (loose vagina). Your vagina could only be loose if you had something huge going inside of you on a regular, constant basis. Remember, the vagina is designed to give birth to a baby and STILL go back to normal.
c) you should break up with that asshole. If you're not together, well, that speaks for itself.

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I keep hearing about Susan Boyle. A bunch of people at school have been talking about Susan Boyle left and right and I feel stupid because I don't know who she is! I asked one of my friends but all she said was she was a lady from television. Is she a good actor or something? Is she from a reality show like American Idol, Big Brother, or even The Real World? I mean, she has to be famous other than just being on some random TV show, right?

So, who is Susan Boyle and what is Susan Boyle famous for?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Susan_boyle

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my friend thinks she is fat and guys always make comments about her being fat also. what do you think?

http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t146/aliraelovesyou/1234456.jpg

Not fat.

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I'm constantly renting movies and would just like some ideas on really good movies. I like romances (like The Notebook, Titanic), and historical movies (The Other Boelyn Girl) and comedies (My Best Friend's Girl).

Any ideas?
What's your favorite?

-Thanks

No Country For Old Men, Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, The Godfather, The Godfather II, etc.



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what do nudists do when they get their period?

Disappear.

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well, like this guy
hes soooooo hot and he might say yes if i ask him out, but the probllem is he just broke up with his girlfriend should i ask now or later
plz help me i like him alot
thanks
Love yuh

No.

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