about

Really bad advice, established in 2004.

FORUM.

advice

What's the best John Steinbeck book? I've read the Red Pony and really liked it. I heard the Grapes of Wrath but was unsure if it was worth the read (is it?). I'd like to read some more of his books though. Any recommendations on what to read next by John Steinbeck?

Tortilla Flat was pretty good, if I remember correctly. Better than Of Mice and Men.

[view]

I haven't heard about North Korea in a couple of weeks. Yeah, I don't have T.V. or anything and I'm gone a lot anyway. Last I heard, N. Korea was threatening to test bombs or something...IDK! It bothers me though and I didn't see any articles on my homepage today about them and wondered what happened. What's going on with North Korea now? Anybody know?

North Korea wouldn't dare fuck with the United States.

[view]


ok i'm not trying to sound stupid but how do you tell when a guy has a boner through his jeans. I was with my bf and was trying to tell but you know how guys pants bunch up there and it was hard to tell. It really bothers me cuz i want to know.

Use those hands that God gave you.

[view]


15/f
ok there is this boy who is in my lunch hour and i have a question. I don't know if you are good at reading body language but maybe you can help me. When he eats, he bites the food normally then when he starts to chew it he put his fist in front of his mouth. My mom says it's because he has some sort of insecurity about his mouth. What do you think?

I think he's trying to hide his vampire fangs so girls like you don't attack him looking for true love.

[view]

My wife seem to masterbait alot, Is this ok or should I talk to her about it, ( 2 to 3 times a week ) Thats what she tells me, I asked her what she is thinking about and she say's real dirty things Can you help J.D.

That's not too often, that's pretty standard. If you're pumping it daily, why can't she have her own alone time? It's no reflection on you, so don't worry about it.

[view]

How do you take a whoopin?

Considering you're from a region that uses the term whoopin', I'm sure you'll have more than a few of these laying around.

http://scrapetv.com/News/Classified/Images/chainsaw.jpg


Use the chainsaw, Luke.

[view]

I just finished the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer and I loved it! I really want to find books that have the same kind of romance that Edward Cullen and Bella Swan do in the Twilight series. I also like Bella and Edward's romance because it is so impossible (if you know what I mean)! Please help me find a book to match these qualities.

The Book of Genesis from The Old Testament.


It's about this vampire named Adam and this human named Eve. Adam's just chilling one day, sucking his own blood when he's like yo God gimme something fresh, kna' mean? And God was like yo bro I got ya back you won't be needing this rib. And God rips out Adam's rib. The rib grows into Eve and when she sees Adam she immediately falls in love but not before giving him a once over and saying hey I don't have one of those... when Adam suddenly jumps on her and yells let's get this party started. Eve then screamed out but wait I'm hungry! And Adam was like then make yourself a sandwich, and while you're at it make me one too. Many scholars see this as the start of the male view of women being inferior. Anyway, Eve started fooling around with this snake and the snake was like yo hunny can you get me one oh dem apples? And Eve was like yea baby gimme a minute. So after making Adam his sandwich Eve came back to the tree. Because Eve never learned to read because Adam considered her unworthy of literacy, she was unable to figure out what the blinking neon Vegas style sign that said forbidden meant. So she walked right on past it and took the apple, but decided to take a bite. This then resulted in God saying man this vampire love story shit is really overdone, everything is such a rehash. So he took the Adam and Eve portion of Genesis and uploaded it to a fan fiction website. The ghost writers of the Old Testament then copy pasted it off of there, and because Moses trusted his writers too much to test the story for plagiarism on turnitin.com, the story of Adam and Eve became the worlds first plagiarism and proof of creationism, two equally bad things. God then began working on his story about Noah's Arc, after deciding he needed something much more "metal".

The End.

[view]

has anyone used "bing"? it looks like the "msn" search engine. is it any better than google?

If you're viewing pictures, there's no pages. You just keep scrolling and scrolling. And for videos, there's a pretty efficient preview when you drag over it.



In conclusion, it's good if you're searching for porn.

[view]

these girls say they are going to come kick my ass both of them dont know how to fight im not really worried about it but do you have any tips on fighting?

As long as the reading on their power levels are under 9000, you'll be alright.

[view]

14/f
I love listening to Metallica, Pink Floyd, Guns n Roses, Nirvana, and Smashing Pumpkins. Do you know any more bands that sound similar to them? Any suggestions would help thank you.

Well, it depends on what era of Metallica you listen to. The 80s or 90s/today? Probably the latter. That's too bad. So yea, you're probably more into hard rock than metal.


A Perfect Circle, Tool (progressive metal but not insanely heavy), Peach, Interpol, Nada Surf, Kyuss, etc.

[view]

Me and my gurlfriend had unprotected sex on friday, well durin 2 times durin intercourse i felt like somethin came out, as if i had came but i wasn't even ready to. Well yesterday my gurlfriend took th home pregnancy test and she turned out negative. Is the test effective since it was done 5 days after intercourse? Do u think that somethin really came out or was it just a feelin and if so can my gurlfriend get pregnant from it?

It's time to stop having sex broski, finish puberty and sex ed before taking part in intercourse.

[view]

What is the best attitude to take with a conceited player that will drive him crazy!??? i was thinking to just ignore him and pay attention to everyone else and he would hate it...but what are some other opinions on here? What do u guys think?

How about you get over him and get on with your life instead?


If the guy is an asshole, who gives a shit what he thinks or how he feels?

[view]

18/f.

my boyfriend is a somewhat famous singer, & we have been dating for a while now. i'm on tour with him right now & i keep getting really jealous, because all these girls throw themselves at him & he like kisses their hands & cheeks, and i know he doesn't actually like them, but you never.. some of the girls are so pretty, & you never what could happen, when my back is turned. Also, i kind of did something really bad. well i was really jealous because he kissed this girl on the cheek & then she grabbed his dick & i was like freaking out on the side of the stage. & so, i got really mad and i stormed off & his best friend was back in the tour bus, so.. me & h is best friend kind of had sex. & his best friend said he doesn't want to tell him, but i feel guiltly, but i don't want to tell him either, because it might ruin our relationship. he told me this was his first honest relationship in a long time, because he has gotten lied to alot in the past. we have been dating since last november. & i love him soooo much, but i just don't know if i can deal with all the jealousy and stuff. & he just recently signed a really big record deal soo.. another good reason not to break up with him. i love him with all my heart, & i know i made a mistake.

what should i do?
i can't break up with him.

You should break up with him, he deserves way better than you. Another reason to not break up with him is because he signed a big record deal? What the fuck are you? Some kind of leech?


Go take your hypocritical cheating self somewhere else. But not before you tell him about everything. That way when he dumps you, he'll have all this material he can use in his music. Yay!

[view]

So I've been with my fiance since 7th grade. I'm now 16 years old (I'll be 17 in a month) and he's 19 years old (He'll be 20 about a week before I turn 17). We've been engaged for little over 4 months now, and recently we've decided to try for a baby. I have irregular periods at times, but this summer they've been pretty regular. I had my last period in the beginning of June and have had unprotected sex twice since July 9th. I haven't gotten my period for July yet, but then again I'm not sure when it's supposed to come. My plan was to test on my birthday (August 16th) if my period hasn't come yet. But I'm just trying to see if it's even worth testing, or if it's even possible I'm pregnant. I haven't had many pregnancy symptoms besides gas and extreme tiredness. But then today I felt like something was leaking (like I might have gotten my period) down there. so I checked in the bathroom and I had this clearish-white lotion textured discharge. It doesn't have a strong smell at all or anything so I googled it, because I've never had this type of discharge before. Well yeah, google says it could be a sign of early pregnancy. So I'm just trying to get other points of view to see what my chances are. Thanks in advance.


p.s.
I know that I'm young and so is he, but we've always wanted children (especially together). we're stable enough to support this child (If I am pregnant). so if you could, please have enough respect for me not to lecture and to just give advice. I've gotten enough lectures from my parents. Thank you again.


-Bianca

Whoopdy doo, you and your boyfriend are in a stable relationship. How stable is your bank account. Not stable enough. Period. I don't care what you have to say. The acknowledgment that you're trying to do something that is a bad idea is the acknowledgment that you're being an idiot. Show some respect for your life and your future child. You weren't brought into this world by your parents to toss it away.

[view]

i dont understand post-season games in sports. championship games are in season, right? whoever wins, might not win because once a season ends, why are there more games?
post-season = playoffs? i get if there is a tie you compete again? does that always happen? im not really familiar

Postseason = playoffs.


Championship games are considered part of the postseason. What happens is teams play in the regular season, and depending on win/loss record or division standings (depends on the sport), certain teams will move on to the playoffs, which is done with brackets. The two remaining teams play in the championship game, which, because it's not during the regular season, is considered part of the postseason. Get it?

[view]

Blessthefall
Hopes Die Last
Enter Shikari
Silverstein
The Number 12 Looks like You
Heavy Heavy Low Low
Greely Estates
Attack Attack
Oh, Sleeper
A Skylit Drive
Alesana
Emarosa
Eyes Set To Kill
Every Time I Die
Before Their Eyes
Pierce The Veil
The Devil Wears Prada
Bring Me The Horizon
A Bullet For Pretty Boy
Chiodos
A Day To Remember
Drop Dead, Gorgeous
Emery
Escape The Fate
The Fall Of Troy
Four Letter Lie
Lovehatehero
From Autumn To Ashes
From First To Last
Haste The Day
Hopesfall
I Am Ghost
In Fear And Faith
Inhale/Exhale
Norma Jean
Sky Eats Airplane
Senses Fail
Saosin
A Static Lullaby
Underoath
We Are The Ocean
With Broken Wings
Alexisonfire
As Cities Burn
The Bled
The Blackout
Scary Kids Scaring Kids

What good screamo/post-hardcore bands don't I have? Those are all the bands on my iPod.

Just wanted to comment on the other person's answer... As I Lay Dying isn't screamo or post-hardcore, they're metalcore.

[view]

what other stupid games are there besides bloody knuckles do people do?

You can play quarters, at least I think that's what it's called. You take a quarter, flick it to keep it spinning, then you rotate with flicking it to keep it spinning. The person that screws it up or lets it fall then has to put their knuckles on the table, and the winner slides the quarter as hard as they can into their knuckles. Yum.


Then there's a good old fashioned roshambo. Kicking each other in the crotchal region until someone realizes (too late by now) that this is the worst game ever invented.

[view]

nineteen, female (:

okay so everytime me and this guy hang out he always triese to go down my pants.

i've never been fingered before, but i have heard that when a guy fingers you, its for YOUR pleasure, not the guys.

does this mean that he cares about me? i mean he NEVER has asked me to give him a blow job or hand job or anything of that sort.

he just always tries to do things, to me. is this a good sign?

He doesn't like you, and he doesn't like your vagina.



He likes all vagina. You're just the one that's most likely to allow him access. Ditch this asshole.

[view]

i want to be faster and better at techniques
i also have a problem with my breathing what can help me?


thank you

Inhaling.

[view]

Matt, you are quite entertaining. I was having a bad day and usually reading through your answers cheers me up, just wanted to thank you =)

~MAK

Thanks. :]

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker