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about

I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)

Facts about me:
*happy
*employed
*married
*large extended family
*bisexual
*advanced college degree
*no kids (yet)

advice

My husband and I had anal sex for the first time this weekend which we have not done in a couple of years. When I had my kids I developed hemroids and have not been able to rid of them. After we had anal sex my rectum bled lightly for about 24 hours after, I did not have any discomfort at all and yes we used LOTS of lube. Does this mean we should stop having anal sex or is a little bit of bleeding okay?

It sounds like it would be okay to me. As long as it's not bleeding a whole lot or causing you a lot of pain it should be fine. I think that you should ask your doctor about it anyways though. Since you have hemroids, just ask if anal sex would cause any complications. There really is no reason to be embarassed about bringing it up. Doctors have heard much worse and probably wouldn't even think twice about a question like that. Good luck. :)

For the past two weeks, I've woken up with extremely dry eyes. It makes me feel more tired and makes me want to close my eyes. I've tried putting saline solution in but it burns and stings (I can't even put my contacts in anymore). I can't really afford to go to the doctor for something this little. Does anyone know of anything that will help?

Instead of saline solution, try ReNu MultiPlus Lubricating and Rewetting Drops. They come in a really tiny box and they should be right next to the larger boxes of saline solution. Put a few drops in your eyes before you put your contacts in and after if you need more. I won't leave home without them. They're amazing. If something like this doesn't work you should see your doctor because then it's not just something little. It may just be a little discomfort, but it could be a big problem. Don't take chances with your eyes. Good luck! :)

okae. so i am a 13 year old female. and since i was 12 sometimes i would masturbate. but since i turned 13 i stopped. but idk if its normal for kids my age to do that. i use my fingers if that helps. but im so disgusted by myself sometimes. that i just break down crying. and i dont have a lock on my door my dad took it off for reasons [ family reasons ] so im afriad someone will walk in. ehrwsk - any ideas if its normal , and if it is where i could do it without anyone walking in cuz i have wanted to.

Masturbating at your age is very normal, don't worry about that.

It might get slightly suspicious if you spent a lot of time in the bathroom. Why not just do it when you take a shower? Then there would be no questions asked. If anything, maybe just a complaint that you took a long time. I don't see too many problems with just doing it in your room either. It's not like you don't have a door. I doubt someone is going to storm in really fast. There's plenty of time to stop what you're doing before anybody noticed. Just don't strip naked or make a lot of noise. If someone walked in, you'd have PLENTY of time after you heard the door start to open to make it look like you were doing something else. The fear of someone walking in on you can actually make it even better because of all of the adrenaline. Good luck.

At school, I am always struggling to make friends. I go over and talk to people but they always walk off. I try to get their attention, like make random jokes, and give my class a laugh every-so-often. I am pretty outgoing, and I am never shy or mean around people. I love people. But at school, people treat me like I am invisible. I always have to sit by myself at lunch, and it's been so hard teachers tried to get me hooked up with new friends but of course that never lasts. On myspace I used to have like 200 friends (and yes, I knew them all), but now I am down to 80. It slowly went down through the months. I am always trying so hard to befriend people, but nobody ever thinks about walking over to me, and talking to me. I try making conversations, but like I said, they walk off and ignore me. What can I do?

And yes I asked if they are mad at me, but they said no. They always tell me that we're good friends, but later on they totally ignore me no matter how hard I try talking to them.

I hope I didn't confuse anybody or not make any sense (I'm trying to explain the situation as best I can) but please help out if you can. I would really appreciate it! Thanks so much.

This happens to just about everybody. As you grow up, you grow apart. People develop their own interests and they don't have as much in common with their friends as they used to. 200 friends is a lot. People can get by with just 2 or 3. Growing apart from your friends takes a ton of getting used to. I'm not even entirely over it and it's been about 4 years. The thing is, it's not important how many friends you have. What is important is that you have a few friends and that other people aren't mean to you. You have that. You're actually really lucky compared to a lot of people. No matter what you have or don't have, sitting alone at lunch can really get to you. I know, I do it every day. Something like this is especially painful because you see other people having so much fun with each other and you wonder what is wrong with you that makes it so that you can't have that. You may have a lot of friends, but when you're sitting there alone it certainly doesn't seem that way. The one thing that can solve almost any problem is your attitude about the problem. If you keep a positive attitude, good things will come your way. The less connection you feel with people, the worse your attitude gets and vice versa. What you need to do is find a way to stop this cycle. It will take a lot of work. You can't just chance your entire attitude by snapping your fingers. I can sit here and tell you that you should get out, go places, make new friends, yadda yadda, but honestly, that isn't going to work. It'll go about as well as your teachers trying to set you up with people. It's just a quick fix and quick fixes usually fall apart. What you need to do is work with what you have. Lots of people are friendly with you. It's not like you're actually being ignored or excluded, it just feels that way. Tomorrow at lunch just go sit with someone. So what if it's completely awkward. It's a start. It will get less and less awkward over time and soon you'll be laughing and having fun at lunch instead of sitting alone. Be confident and just do it. If you mess it up, hey, you're no worse off than before. Plus, there's more of a chance that it will go really well. Don't give up. Be outgoing and you will get what you want. Good luck! :)

WHAT happens if you take an EC Pill while pregnant?

Sorry for the slow response.

The EC pill is not an abortion pill. If you're already pregnant it isn't going to terminate a pregnancy. Most of the time it won't do anything at all. The only risk is that it could cause complications in your pregnancy, just like any drug.

ummm..i really like this boy for months and i want advice on how to talk to him and how to ask him out!!

please help!!:(

Hey, sorry for the slow response. The problem you are having isn't about knowing what to say or do. It's about being afraid that you'll mess up. You know what to say. You know what's going to work and what's not. You don't need advice about what to say because everything you need to know is already in your head. The problem is that your nerves are clouding your thoughts.

The thing with asking someone out, it's not even always what you say, but how you say it. Confidence is the most important thing. Confidence is attractive. It doesn't matter what you say or do as long as you are confident about it. It's alright to be nervous. Everybody gets nervous, but don't be afraid. Go out and take a chance. Be confident. If you mess it up, the world keeps turning. You'll feel bad about it for a few days, but after that, it's all in the past and you can always try again.

My advice for you would be to flirt with him for a week or so to let him know that you are interested. Asking him to go out with you out of nowhere might surprise him into rejecting you. Take your time and try to be as confident as you can. You know what you want and you know how to get it, so go out and do it. Good luck! :)

ok, id like answers only from people who have been with their boyfriends/girlfriends for over 6 months. and preferably ages 16 and up, please. ok well, does it ever feel to you as if yall shouldnt be together? like theres nothing there anymore. youre not all excited to go home and talk to them. you really dont even care. youre not "cheery" around them or talking to them anymore. and you picture them with someone other than you, and it bothers you some, but not THAT much? i dont know what to do. im 16 and hes 17. weve been together 6 and a half months and were each others "first loves". ive never felt this way for anyone else before seriously. hes like a part of me now. but the past couple days ive been feeling this way and i dont know what to do. normally, im absolutely crazy for him, but there has been a couple times when ive been like "we should just be friends", but sooner than i say that, something happens that makes me realize just how in love i am and i could never lose him. so maybe its one of those times again..? or maybe its the gray weather.. ahh someone please help me. i dont want to make a huge mistake and regret it!! btw that whole "taking a break" deal does not swing with us we just dont really agree with it, we're either on or we're off.

Sorry for the clicheness of what I'm about to say, but...the honeymoon's over! What is happening to your relationship is very, very normal. The excitement of all the "firsts" is over, the initial happiness is gone, and you're just left with each other. At your age, this kind of thing can be hard to handle. Most teens misunderstand it as falling out of love. You're not falling out of love, it's actually quite the opposite. You are so much in love, you're beginning to, in a way, take it for granted. All of a sudden he becomes just like another sibling, cousin, or friend. He's nothing that special anymore. That is where you're wrong. The romance may be dying, but don't you love your family and friends more than anything? If he is becoming like them to you, that just means that you love him that much more. If you stay with him longer, it will keep growing and growing until it goes beyond the family/friend level. You just have to be be patient. You're getting more comfortable being around him. You've gotten to know a whole lot about him. The exciting part of your relationship may be gone, but your love is just beginning. If you were to leave him for someone else that you felt that "spark" again with, you would find yourself in the exact same situation you are in now after some time with the new guy. What has to happen is, that you have to accept that this is the way love and relationships work. You can either give up, or work hard. If you give up easily, relationships will likely be very hard for you. My advice would be to stick with him until you have a good reason to leave him (cheating, lying, crime, abuse, etc). Maybe he isn't the guy for you. Maybe he isn't worth the work. Decide by that, not by what you're feeling right now. Good luck!! :)

hey everyone.
my best friends boyfriend is into some bad stuff. [i hear this from alot of people not just one source and the people telling me dont even know eachother] my best friend and him are happy together. he makes her really happy and she loves him alot. i dont want to see her get introuble because of this because she doesnt do any of it. idk if i should tell her or not im kinda stressed about what to do.

thanks=]

If there is anything going on, your friend probably knows about it. If she's a good kid, which it sounds like she is, that can mean one, a few, or all of the following things. She's denying it, she thinks she can get him to stop, he's convinced her that it's not that bad, or she's gotten involved with it too. In all of these cases, it would be best if you, as a good friend, had a very serious conversation with her about this. Ask her what's going on and let her know that the only reason you are talking to her is because you are concerned. What you decide to do to help her depends on her level of involvement. If she's denying it, pound the the truth into her. She really needs to realize that no matter how much she may like him, if he's into some serious stuff, she should really rethink being with him. There are plenty of other guys out there. If she thinks she can get him to stop, remind make sure she knows that even though she thinks he is completely honest and truthful, it will be easy for him to go behind her back about it. People don't just change. If he has convinced her that it's not that bad, change her mind back! Let her know all the risks and it would help a lot if you told her it might end your friendship with her if she didn't start thinking straight. If she is actually involved, try to get her to stop, but be ready to get someone else involved. You're a good friend of hers and sometimes it is worth risking a friendship to get someone the help they need. I wish you the best of luck. Hopefully, the things you have heard aren't true!

I have this ex boyfriend. We dated on and off for more than a year.

Recently, I caught him in some lies and minor cheating stuff. I don't really trust him, but I consider him a very close friend.

We talk about once a week, and eveyrtime we do he nags about wanting to get back together. I don't want to right now, but its not because I don't trust him.

I mean, he's a great guy, but I want to be single right now.

So I need some more reasons, even if they are made up, to keep him off.

And if I happened to havea thing with one o fhis friends, how could i break it to him without hurting him?

He's really sensative.

Sensitive or not, there are certain things he needs to hear. You need to tell him how it is no matter how you think he will react. Give it to him straight up. It would also help if you gave him an ultimatum. Something to the effect of, "stop trying to get me to date you again or I won't talk to you for 2 weeks". If he tests you, it's his own fault and you need to follow through with your threat, whatever you decide it to be. Make it kind of harsh. He really needs to stop what he's doing. My guess is that right now he's just playing with your emotions. The more you walk lightly around him because he's sensitive, the more sensitive he will be. Your sensitivity to his alleged sensitivity is making him believe that you still have feelings for him. That's not good. He can handle, just as well as anyone, anything you feel needs to be said. You're not dating him anymore. Stop treating him like you are. He doesn't have to know that you want to date one of his friends. He doesn't even have to know that you are if you decide to. He'll find out just like every other one of your friends. The more special treatment you give him, again, the more he will think that you still have feelings for him. Dating someone else will likely help stop the nagging on its own. Especially if he finds out through someone other than you. If you're really serious about dating his friend go for it. That way you won't have to tell him how it is yet. Good luck. :)

How do you ask DangerNerd a question ? Sorry. Im just not sure. And i was talking about the page backround URL picture. but there is no butten there to click .

Click this link. :)

http://www.advicenators.com/question.php?u=16820

You could also try here.

http://www.advicenators.com/question.php?u=4

Good luck!

okay. does anyone know what the symptoms are for TSS?
because although my period was 2 weeks ago, I just found a tampon inside of me. ewww....
and I've been feeling really ill for about two weeks. so can anyone help me see if I can diagnose this(without going to the dr)

It could be anything. TSS is a possibility, but it probably isn't the case. My guess is that you just picked up a mild case of the flu. Don't postpone going to see a doctor because you are embarassed. Go see a doctor. Believe it or not, this happens to women all the time. Your doctor isn't going to be surprised or disgusted. It will be taken seriously and nobody will make a big deal of it. Don't ever try to diagnose things yourself. Always get an opinion from a real doctor. Good luck.

When I go to my column settings it wont let me change my colors or backround. Theres not butten to enter it for the backround URl. So how do I make it go on ??

Type in the URL of the picture you want, then click the button on the bottom that says "Submit Colors". That should work. If not, ask DangerNerd what's up. Good luck. :)

My dad has a huge anger issue! He always yells at me, even when I have done nothing wrong. He'll tell me I am not smart, wise, or I can never shut up and stop complaining. He is always throwing my school books around, even when it is not in his way, and makes me pick it up. He doesn't do that to anyone elses stuff. He throws shoes at me, hits me, and throws anywhere from pencils to hardbound books to me, whenever I ask him how to do a math problem.

Also when I prove him wrong, he gets mad and denies he even is wrong, and storms out of the room, snapping at everyone he sees. He even gets mad when I get a boyfriend. He thinks I am a total slut and he doesn't trust me because I took my ex (was my boyfriend) to my room once(while my friends were there with me!) thinking I would have sex with him (and I am a virgin!!!) on my bed. This angers me because my friends have gotten laid mass times and their parents trust them to go to their rooms with their boyfriend or girlfriend.

He yells at me when my grades aren't good enough. I am getting As and Bs this year but my dad doesn't think it's good enough. He always discourages me when I want to do something, and he stresses me so much I cry. And when I cry, he gets angry and calls me a big baby. He hurts me so horribly bad I just start thinking of not living, because he makes me feel worthless =[

What can I do???

Sorry that this is long, but thanks for your time.

It's perfectly normal for him to not want you to be alone in your room with your boyfriend. It's not that he doesn't trust you or that he thinks you're a slut. It's that he's being a good parent. That's what parents do. He, however, is not a good parent overall. Not even close. He is abusing you physically and mentally. You need to get out of that situation. My advice to you would be to tell a counselor at your school or a teacher that you really trust. What your dad is doing needs to stop. If he can't find a way to control it, living with him is not a good idea. You could get seriously hurt. He makes you feel worthless, but deep down, you know you're not. Do what you need to do for yourself because you're worth it. Your dad is messing up. Don't subject yourself to his mistakes any longer. Once the abuse is gone, you'll feel so much better about yourself and you'll be a whole lot happer. Good luck.

I'm a fourteen year old girl. My best friends, Jenny and Danny, have just started going out. Me and Danny were really great friends, and i trust him with everything. We used to flirt like crazy, even though we both knew it was nothing. I don't think I ever even liked him. But now that they're going out, I'm really jealous, and I hate it. It's hard to even talk to him, because I have to be careful about what I say. And, I'm jealous of Jenny. I know it's partially because she might replace me, but it's not all that, at least I dont think so. I really do love Danny, but as a friend. I don't think I love him as anything more. Why do you think I'm so jealous? What can I do?

Even if you hadn't been friends with Danny beforehand, these feelings are actually very normal. When a close friend starts dating a guy, no matter who he is, you'll start to view them a little differently. Don't let these feelings bother you. They mean nothing. Dealing with them is another story. I think that if you talked to Jenny a little about this that it would help. Your relationship with Danny is affected by his relationship with Jenny and it doesn't have to be. If Jenny is okay with you harmlessly flirting with Danny, which she should be, things between you and Danny wouldn't be quite so different. Other than that, the only thing that can help is time. Good luck. :)

I've read a bunch of places that if you put mayonnaise in your hair it works great as a deep conditioner. I was wondering though if it leaves a bad smell once your hair is dry and everything. If you've tried it, has it worked and does it leave a bad smell in your hair the next day?

My advice would be to get a real product. The only thing I have heard that mayo does in your hair is help get rid of lice. Even if it does work as a good deep conditioner, which I don't believe it would, it's not worth the trouble trying to get it out. Good luck. :)

well usally theirs steps in a relationship and you usally tell your bf/gf that you want to go to the next step in a relationship as in my case french kiss or make out. but this person lives in another state. when they come to visit i'd like to take this step. so i was gonna tell them i wanted to make this step. but is that a good idea because i hardly ever see this person. i dont want to go to far and then not see them for a while and reck our relationship. any advice? thanks

What you do can not wreck a relationship. What wrecks relationships are feelings. Talk to your significant other and see how they feel about the idea. Then all of your doubts and all of their doubts will be out in the open. You'll be able to make a decision knowing all of the risks ahead of time. It might be a little awkward to bring something like that up, but once the conversation gets going, you'll be really glad that you started it.

I think that if your talk goes well that you should go through with it. Being in a long distance relationship with someone is hard. There's usually a great emotional connection, but the physical connection is very lacking. You can't even hold hands or sit together on the couch if you want to. When you finally get together with that person it's make-out city. You spent so much time on the emotional part of your relationship that all you want at that moment is to be able to connect with that person physically. All these feelings can be very stressful and you are right. Once you get your first taste of being physical with him, it will make you want it even more and put more stress on the relationship when you are separate again.

I think that this kind of stress might be good. If your relationship can't stand mild stress from not being able to express yourselves to each other physically, it isn't a very strong relationship and should probably end before it gets too serious. Making out isn't serious, relatively speaking. It won't cause as many problems as you think. Right now, your nerves are getting in the way of your judgement. Try to keep a level head, but know also that it's definitely okay to be nervous. Good luck. :)

How truly important is the SAT if you have all A's and 2 B's throughout high school with mostly advanced classes..?

SAT's aren't important unless you want to get into a very prestigious college. Such colleges have a "cut-off" point that you have to get on your SAT to go to that college. If you get lower than this cut-off point, it is not impossible, but quite difficult to get in so you had better have done really well on everything else (GPA, class rank, perhaps the ACT's, community service, activities, your essay, etc). I don't think that the SAT's mean as much as they used to since they have been completely revamped. I think that colleges are becoming frustrated with them and realizing that they can't predict if someone is going to be successful. Sure they help pick out the really smart kids, but on the other end, there's no way to know why someone did badly on it. If you are getting A's and B's in advanced classes in high school DO NOT worry about the SAT. You'll do well enough on it to get into most any college you want. If you do badly on it the first time because of nerves or something, remember that you can take it again as many times as you want. If you have any personal problems with the SAT, I'm sure that if you meet with someone from the college you want to get into that they will be more than happy to listen. If you find that there is no possible way to get into the college of your dreams, you can always transfer there after doing well for a year at a different college. Try not to worry so much about college. People are very understanding and you'll find that it is very easy to get what you want. Good luck. :)

Okay, so I'm a 14 year old female. There's this guy in one of my classes, and he's a junior. Since the beginning of the year, he has always paid "special attention" to me, like teasing me and stuff. I even recall a while back in October-ish, I was walking in the hallway afterschool, l and he was with his friend, and he stopped to talk to me for no reason at all. Back then, I thought he was kinda hot but never seriously considered him as a potential bf because a guy 2 years older than me having a crush on ME? The notion was impossible.

But as time went on I noticed more and more hints being dropped by him..for example, he always holds open doors for me and makes a huge scene of it "HERE, [myname], LADIES FIRST!". And when any of his friends try to talk to me, he instantly turns and stares at me. Whenever I talk to HIM, he stares right at me and gves me this huge grin.

Now, he's always like looking at me in class, especially when I talk to any guys. But I don't know if I'm just imagining the signs or if he teases me just to look cool in front of his friends. Or maybe he's just a friendly guy.

Oh, let me add some more details about us, I guess. I gave him a present over christmas break (it was just a card lol) and he seemed to really like it, he had this big smile on his face. And he's always telling me how nice I look. Also, I'm the girl he talks most to in class (this isn't much though, because there arent a lot of other girls in the class and all the girls are freshmen) I expect HIM to tell ME if he likes me or not, because he's a junior, and if I say no to him (which I wouldnt), it shouldnt be a big blow to his ego. But he keeps on dropping hints that he likes me as something..more. That's where I'm getting confused. Luckily there's a winter formal coming up on the 9th that he can ask me to AND valentine's day 5 days later. Think I should ask him to the dance?

oh and there was also this time in December, when we had free time in class and him and his friends were talking about THE basketball game of the season, and suddenly the guy turned to me and asked me if I was going. I told him I wasn't, and he asked, "why not?" Of course, me being STUPID and MISSING the hint, I said "i'm kinda busy," when I really wasn't (i was completely and totally free!!), because I was embarassed at being singled out like that. If i were smart i would've said "no, because I can't get a ride". and he mightve invited me to come. sorry it's so long T_T

Don't worry about the length and sorry for not answering sooner, but I got really busy over the weekend. Anyways, this could be one of two things. Either he really likes you and wants to go out with you or he just thinks you're hot and likes flirting/looking at/and otherwise being around you and would possibly try to date you just to get some. Until something happens between the two of you, there's no way to find out. Even when and if anything does happen (such as going to the dance together) it is often very difficult, especially in high school, to be able to tell the difference. In any case, this guy does like you a lot in some way. Going to the dance with him would help you figure out if you liked him enough back to want to pursue anything further with him. I think that you should try to get him to ask you to the dance. Hint at it, but see if he will actually do the asking. My advice for you is to try not to let the fact that he likes you get in the way of your deciding of whether or not you like him back. When someone likes you, it makes you feel good. You may never have even thought about your feelings for them before, but upon learning that they like you, your feelings suddenly come out of nowhere and they're usually very strong. Don't let your true feelings for him get in the way of how much you like that he finds you so interesting/attractive/etc. Good luck. :)

I am turning 18 on sunday and i want to really celebrate! What is something I can do with this guy im seeing because I'm supposed to stay the night there saturday night. should i go on a road trip or something with him? i wanna do something crazy!

A road trip sounds fun. If you're into it, camping is always great too. Going someplace, such as a club or casino, that you would need to be 18 to get into would be a wonderful time for you. Being able to show your ID and get in for the first time is an amazing experience especially if it is on your birthday.

Whatever you decide to do, don't get too crazy. Have a good time, but be smart about it. You want to make it to your 19th right?

Good luck!

I asked a question regarding a married couple that I'm friends with a couple of months ago. I know the wife had cheated on the husband. Since, I've remained silent about the situation and vowed not to be in a position to witness that again. Well, the wife made a new friend recently and the girl has practically moved her & her two kids in with the couple & their 3 children. Anyways, his little girl pulled me aside after church last night wanting to talk to me and she was upset because the girl and her kids had practically moved in and taken over her bedroom. The couple's two boys are having to share a bed, and the friend is sleeping in the bed with the husband and wife. A friend of mine saw the friend & the husband at the grocery store the day before yesterday grocery shopping together. I thought this was odd. Anyways, I called the wife last night and she was crying and upset and wouldn't talk about it. I called thsi morning to check on her and she told me her husband left her last night and come back really late. I don't know what to do. I'm torn as to whether or not I should call and check on him or not because I spoke to him last night and he never mentioned anything about it. I'm friends with both of them. I've tried comforting her, but she still doesn't want to talk about it. I don't even know why they've split up.

Should I call him and try and talk to him or stay out of it and let them reach out to me when they want to?

I think that you should stay out of it and talk about things with them only if they ask you to. Let both of them know that you are there for them to talk at any time. Then, just leave it to them to sort out. This isn't something you should get involved in.

If you are concerned about the kids, though, do step in and don't hesitate. Don't get involved with anything but the kids. If they are living in a house with too many people, that is not okay. If you are capable of taking them in, volunteer. If your offer is declined and you are still concerned, tell them that you are going to call DSS. If they still refuse, call. Friendship or not. It's not the kids' fault that this is happening and if they're not being taken care of, something needs to be done and quickly.

Good luck.

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