I asked a question regarding a married couple that I'm friends with a couple of months ago. I know the wife had cheated on the husband. Since, I've remained silent about the situation and vowed not to be in a position to witness that again. Well, the wife made a new friend recently and the girl has practically moved her & her two kids in with the couple & their 3 children. Anyways, his little girl pulled me aside after church last night wanting to talk to me and she was upset because the girl and her kids had practically moved in and taken over her bedroom. The couple's two boys are having to share a bed, and the friend is sleeping in the bed with the husband and wife. A friend of mine saw the friend & the husband at the grocery store the day before yesterday grocery shopping together. I thought this was odd. Anyways, I called the wife last night and she was crying and upset and wouldn't talk about it. I called thsi morning to check on her and she told me her husband left her last night and come back really late. I don't know what to do. I'm torn as to whether or not I should call and check on him or not because I spoke to him last night and he never mentioned anything about it. I'm friends with both of them. I've tried comforting her, but she still doesn't want to talk about it. I don't even know why they've split up.
Should I call him and try and talk to him or stay out of it and let them reach out to me when they want to?
luvbug555 answered Thursday January 25 2007, 9:26 pm: sounds like they are both cheating on eachother. you cant intervene, because they will think you are tacking sides, and the wife you are friendly with will be upset you didnt tell her sooner. just stay out of it. play dumb if they ask about it. all you can be is a sholder to cry on. I hope things work out! good luck! [ luvbug555's advice column | Ask luvbug555 A Question ]
sizzlinmandolin answered Thursday January 25 2007, 8:20 pm: I think that you should stay out of it and talk about things with them only if they ask you to. Let both of them know that you are there for them to talk at any time. Then, just leave it to them to sort out. This isn't something you should get involved in.
If you are concerned about the kids, though, do step in and don't hesitate. Don't get involved with anything but the kids. If they are living in a house with too many people, that is not okay. If you are capable of taking them in, volunteer. If your offer is declined and you are still concerned, tell them that you are going to call DSS. If they still refuse, call. Friendship or not. It's not the kids' fault that this is happening and if they're not being taken care of, something needs to be done and quickly.
Brandi_S answered Thursday January 25 2007, 5:18 pm: Since they are both your friends, you don't want to be caught in the middle or appear to take either side.
It is a sad situation, but really there isn't much you can do except be a shoulder to lean on for either of them if they need it. Allow both to confide in you. Don't tell one what the other says, etc. They will find out about each other in due time. You don't want to be the one responsible for breaking either heart. That's probably the safest way to keep both friendships in this situation.
They need to sort out their own lives. Let them reach out to you, if they choose. It's pretty clear that since neither stated the situation outright to you, that they don't want to talk about it as of yet. I'm sure they already know how much you care. [ Brandi_S's advice column | Ask Brandi_S A Question ]
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