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i can't make friends.
At school, I am always struggling to make friends. I go over and talk to people but they always walk off. I try to get their attention, like make random jokes, and give my class a laugh every-so-often. I am pretty outgoing, and I am never shy or mean around people. I love people. But at school, people treat me like I am invisible. I always have to sit by myself at lunch, and it's been so hard teachers tried to get me hooked up with new friends but of course that never lasts. On myspace I used to have like 200 friends (and yes, I knew them all), but now I am down to 80. It slowly went down through the months. I am always trying so hard to befriend people, but nobody ever thinks about walking over to me, and talking to me. I try making conversations, but like I said, they walk off and ignore me. What can I do?
And yes I asked if they are mad at me, but they said no. They always tell me that we're good friends, but later on they totally ignore me no matter how hard I try talking to them.
I hope I didn't confuse anybody or not make any sense (I'm trying to explain the situation as best I can) but please help out if you can. I would really appreciate it! Thanks so much.
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This happens to just about everybody. As you grow up, you grow apart. People develop their own interests and they don't have as much in common with their friends as they used to. 200 friends is a lot. People can get by with just 2 or 3. Growing apart from your friends takes a ton of getting used to. I'm not even entirely over it and it's been about 4 years. The thing is, it's not important how many friends you have. What is important is that you have a few friends and that other people aren't mean to you. You have that. You're actually really lucky compared to a lot of people. No matter what you have or don't have, sitting alone at lunch can really get to you. I know, I do it every day. Something like this is especially painful because you see other people having so much fun with each other and you wonder what is wrong with you that makes it so that you can't have that. You may have a lot of friends, but when you're sitting there alone it certainly doesn't seem that way. The one thing that can solve almost any problem is your attitude about the problem. If you keep a positive attitude, good things will come your way. The less connection you feel with people, the worse your attitude gets and vice versa. What you need to do is find a way to stop this cycle. It will take a lot of work. You can't just chance your entire attitude by snapping your fingers. I can sit here and tell you that you should get out, go places, make new friends, yadda yadda, but honestly, that isn't going to work. It'll go about as well as your teachers trying to set you up with people. It's just a quick fix and quick fixes usually fall apart. What you need to do is work with what you have. Lots of people are friendly with you. It's not like you're actually being ignored or excluded, it just feels that way. Tomorrow at lunch just go sit with someone. So what if it's completely awkward. It's a start. It will get less and less awkward over time and soon you'll be laughing and having fun at lunch instead of sitting alone. Be confident and just do it. If you mess it up, hey, you're no worse off than before. Plus, there's more of a chance that it will go really well. Don't give up. Be outgoing and you will get what you want. Good luck! :)
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edit well if their showing feelings back then obviously they do care and you do have some friends...its just that sometimes people get caught up in thheir own lives and like for people to come to them rather then coming to other pepe...when that happens you should tell them how they make you feel but if they make you feel that bad then you need new friends...or maybe you do have friends you just dont realize it. maybe you need to bond more or somethig
Your trying to hard and people can sense that kind of thing. Just dont try as much or continuously go friend hunt just take it easy alittle bit for a couple of weeks without seeking people out or anything...then people might start coming to you.The more you focus on not having friends then that what youl get no friends because your attracting it by focusing on it so much...its better to come across a few people who will be true friends the 200 people who barely acknowledge you. Just stop trying so hard and kind of give the vibe that your not worried about it stop addressing these people who ignore you if they begin to come to you after a couple of weeks then ask them if they want to do something but if they dont then theyre not your friends and might even see it as an ego burts if they notice that your striving for their attention so just let those people go. and remember that there will be plenty of oppurtunities to meet new people to befriend.
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Join a club or something. Or a sport. If people tell you that they're "good friends" with you & when you talk to them, they walk off. They're obviously not good friends & you shouldn't want them as friends period. Honestly, it's better to be a loner than to have friends. Friends aren't really dependable so much. They talk shit behind your back, backstab you, steal your boyfriend's...they do everything they shouldn't. Good friends are hard to find. Anyways, just keep trying & if people keep walking away from you, then they're not worth your time.
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it sounds like you're doing everything right, just keep on being friendly. join some clubs, or sports activities at your school. ORRRR, you should have a party!!! just throw a random party.. at your house, at a local community center, or just anywhere! make it fun! have music, food, people, and everyone will start to notice you more. ♥ good luck hun! IM me if you want someone to talk to =] i'll be your friend lol [onexlove09]
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