Erinn_the_bamf's advice column

Hey

Im 16/f and I still dont have my period. Yeah yeah im a real "late bloomer" Im seeing a doctor and she says im normal. Anyways my epifoses (wowww thats def not how you spell it) The things on your bones that close are still open. Currently my boobs are between an A and B cup. (depends which brand) They are super super sore all the time. Does this mean they are growing? About when do boobs stop growing? How long after your period to they stop.. or start? Im confused.

Yes, your boobs are most likely growing now. Typically, when you're boobs are experiencing pain, they are growing. Your boobs usually stop growing around age 18-20, but every girl is different. Yours may not stop growing until a little after that because you haven't started your period yet. Extra weight can also cause your boobs to be bigger and having a child can, aswell. Moreover, they usually start growing right before you have your period.

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Im starting a new school next year.
Im 16/f. Im pretty shy :) Any advice on making new friends and being more confident?

In almost every question about confidence that I answer, I tell the asker to use this little excercise:

Grab a piece of paper and sit in front of a mirror. Write down everything you like about yourself, physically and emtionally. Everyday or just everytime you need a boost in confidence, read over the piece of paper. Your confidence will build a lot.

As for meeting people a simple "Hi, my name is ____" will do. Being new isn't as scary as it seems. A lot of people will be welcoming to you. Chances are you won't even have to do more of the talking.

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For verizon wireless, i have free after 9:00 pm. but when does that end. at 12:00 am? or in the morning? or what? thanks.

It ends at 6:00. So talk all night =].

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Don't get me wrong, I love my mum and she's not a bad parent but...

Well it's just us, and she has barely any friends and no one to vent out anger onto. So when she's feeling angry (Which isn't very often don't worry) she vents it all onto me. She'll yell at me for the littliest things, ground me and send me to my room. If I try to defend myself...she hits me.

She's been angry lately and I'm scared she'll hit me. She's been saying threats like one day she'll grab ahold of my throat and won't stop until I pass out and I'm getting scared to just do anything. I get really apologetic and apologize for the littliest things.

I can't talk her out of it because any word that comes out of my mouth she yells at me and gets even angrier. She seems to think that because she's the adult and I'm the child I don't get an opinion or the right to say something.

What do I do? When I tell my dad he thinks I'm just saying it because Mum and I are in a fight. I don't trust teachers or councillors and I don't want my mum to get into trouble.

Sweetie, you know what you have to do. Whether you like it or not you have to tell someone. Yes, it will get your mom in trouble, but what she's doing is wrong. Try telling your dad a few more times. If he still doesn't do anything you have to tell a teacher, a councilor, or call the cops. Your mom will not stop unless you tell someone who can make her stop. Yes, they will most likely take your mother away.

All in all it's really your choice. What's more important? Living with your mom or actaually living at all?

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I'm eating chex mix right now and i'm wondering if it's good for me. like better then chips? will it make me fat? haha

Chex Mix is much better for you than chips. However, watch how much you eat. Too much of anything is never good. And Chex Mix is known to be addictive. So make sure you can control yourself.

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Some people say you can't only lose fat in one spot so crunches won't make your stomach flatter. Others say that they know people that lost 20 pounds from doing a lot of crunches. I don't get it. Do crunches make your stomach flatter or not?

Doing crunches will cause you to loose weight, but it won't be direct exactly towards your stomach, What crunches will do is tone your stomach and make it muscular.

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me and my boyfriend like.
make our myspace songs good songs that show we have a good relationship.

like. i used to have.
"must have done something right" by relient k.
and right now he has
"you are the one" by shiny toy guns.

can you name some more like those?

I Wanna Know Your Plans- Say Anything
Hey There Delilah- Plain White Tees
MFEO (Made for Each Other)- Jack's Mannequin
Umbrella- Rihanna
Finally- Fergie
Like Vines- The Hush Sound
So Much Love- The Rocket Summer

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okay. so my boyfriend and i have been going out for about a year now. and i really really love him. infact we talk about getting married one day. heres the problem, im young. 15. same for him. is it odd for us to be thinking that far ahead even when we are so young? i mean i can't doubt us being in love, and we just feel that connection. and its been there from the start. there are no dull moments. yes we have been through alot, but it was my fault(i was diagnosed with a brain disorder about halfway though everything and had to spend alot of time in the hospital). but i honestly think that we have a future together. does anyone think this is odd?

Nope, that isn't odd at all. Plenty of people marry others that they met in highschool.

Furthermore, the tough times you went through probably brought you closer together. This means your relationship is stronger than others because you know you will be there for each other.

So basically, it's not odd. Be happy that you have found someone that you could picture yourself spending the rest of your life with =].

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Just like an hour ago, I masturbated by using the bath faucet to let the water fall onto my clit. Like ten minutes later after i'd gotten up, I coughed because I have a cold, and water came out of my vagina. I thought it was kind of odd. I coughed again, and more came out. I decided to look what was wrong. I coughed, and the water was coming out of my 'pee hole', but it wasn't pee, just water from the faucet. I keep coughing to try and get the water out, but it's really freaking me out because I don't think there should be water in there. Is this okay?

What should I do? Help?

Due to the fact that water flowed into your vagina, it needs to come out. Obviously, the water does pour out. However, it is a bit peculair that it only happens when you cough. I wouldn't be too worried about it, but if it conitunes for a day or so contact your doctor.

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Is "Ginny" short for a different name (a girls name)??

And can everyone PLEASE tell me their favorite boys and girls names??

Thankss soo much!!

Ginny is short for Virginia.

Guy names: Atticus, Aiden, Kyle, Travis, Ryden.
Girl names: Jennifer, Tiffany, Antionette, Margueriette, Loreli.

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am i still a virgin, even though my cherry's poped because i fingered myself?

Yes, you are still a virgin. You do not loose your virginity until you have sexual intercourse.

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i am not sure this category fits, but its the best i could choose..sorry

okay..so im a 15/f...almost 16 in october..

i have always lacked self-confidence, and i think i am really ugly and fat..but everyone always tells me im hott, but i honestly dont get it. when i look in the mirror i hate what i see..
i dont know if me being REALLY fat last year has anything to do with it. i lost over 40 pounds, but i still feel fat, even though i am in the healthy weight range, and i also have double d's, if that has any effect.

so i was wondering what i could do to make myself feel better? should i lose more weight? or what? any advice helps, and please be honest! thanks!

here is my myspace, if you wanted to see a picture of me..
myspace.com/THISisWHYimHOTTdoubleD

Grab a piece of paper and sit in front of a mirror. Write down everything you like about yourself, physically and personailty wise. Read this list over once a day or whenever you feel down about yourself. It's a great exercise and it really works.

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Do long distance relationships work?
Or what are your views on them?
I'm not thinking of starting one, but a friend is and I was just wondering what others thought about them.

The truth is, some work some don't. In order for one to work there needs to be a lot of trust. Many people aren't able to trust easily, so it doesn't work. Furthermore, there are some people who really don't deserve to be trusted. And then the other person finds out and all hell breaks loose...

Anyway, I think two people need to be together in the same area for a while before a long distance relationship can work. Their love for each other needs to grow beforehand.

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my mom's extremely strict and stubborn. i can't hang out with guys, can't date them, and i can't do a bunch of other stuff that every other 13 year old girl CAN. i can't have sleepovers with friends. and it drives me NUTS. i've had one in my life with a friend because my parents had a wedding, and thats IT. my friend jenna and me are staying home all summer and we wanna hang out..a lot. (were best friends) and she was like "lets have a sleepover on friday with ana" (ana is my other friend) and im scared my mom wont let me. im not sure if shes okay with it or not, because its summer and she knows i have nothing to do. im just so scared. i know jenna is going to have SO many sleepovers like she always does. and i always feel like im a weirdo and im always outside of my circle of friends. they have millions of sleepovers with each other, and i havent had any. i just really need some VERY convincing reasons why i should be able to have sleepovers over the summer. please, i dont want to be left out all summer to..:-\

You'll never know if you're allowed to have a sleepover, unless you ask. If your mom says no, tell her your fears about being left out of your circle of friends. Remind her that you are a very responsible young adult, due to the good job she has done rasing you. If it makes her feel more comfortable, tell her to call Jenna's mom to make sure you guys will be safe.

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Is it appropriate to wear a bright red dress
to a wedding?

The wedding is a formal evening wedding. The
dress is a simple sleeveless dress. It has a
scoop neckline and shows just a little, but
not a lot of cleavage. I would wear it to other
formal events, just not sure if its appropriate
for a wedding.

It sounds perfectly fine to me. As long as you don't wear white. You might wnat to doublcheck with the bride just in case, but I think you should wear it.

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how do i get guys to think im not prude?

Why would you want guys to think you aren't prude? Most guys that care about that kind of thing are pervs anyway. A really great guy won't care if you're prude or not. He would love you for you. You don't need to try to get people to think you aren't.

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ok well yeahh me and my friend might go on a double date tonight and well my boyfriend isn't a virgin and i am...but i sort of am prude..i mean ive made out and everything but like he told my friend he wants to finger me....i feel kind of weird asking this but like when i guy fingers a girl, he gts like stuff on his finers rgiht? do they think thats weird at all.....help me!!

Yes, he gets "stuff" on his fingers. Most guys don't find it gross because it is natural.

Nevertheless, you shouldn't let him finger you tonight. Your friend will be that and I doubt she wants to see that. Furthermore, if you don't know much about it, you really shouldn't be doing it.

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Well, i go too high school. At high school we have populars and well geeks and i really, really hate this! No one has the right to tell you who you are or name you.
Populars think they can boss me about for example 'get out of this room', 'go away, you can't hang around here'. Am really fed up i just want to answer back but then everyone will hate me, and my friends are scared because they don't want to be hated, and everyone eles sucks up to them.
i would really like to know how can i stuck up for my self without being hated by people.

Honestly? If you stand up to them the only ones who will hate you are them. Everyone else will LOVE you. Because you would be doing something that they don't have the guts to do. The only people who would hate you are ones that don't even matter.

EDIT: If your friends are really your friends they won't hate you for sticking up for yourself.

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hi, i am 14 and haven't started my period is this a problem and i want to start it all my friends have except me

No, it's not a problem. Plenty of girls your age haven't started it yet. And be happy you don't have it. It's not fun.

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