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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

I'm 24 and so far I've had a difficult time staying at one job. In fact, the longest I've stayed at one job was a year (twice). I seem to make it around 4-9 months before something happens or I don't want to work there anymore.

For example, at my current job (at a bar) I make really good money, but constantly run into men sexually harassing me and touching me and after I was assaulted last week I no longer want to work there. I've been there for 9 months.

The job before that was in medical data entry and I also made good money there, but I hated my bosses who constantly yelled at everybody, insulted everybody, and would threaten to fire us constanty. I was there for 4 months.

Then before that I was laid off after a year when the company I worked for got bought out.

I was a nanny for a year before that, but then had to move for college.

I had a few retail jobs even before that, but they'd work out for around 4 months before I wound up hating it and leaving them.

How can I find and stay at a job for a long period of time. I'm worried about my resume currently because everything was fairly short term. I really just want to find somewhere I like enough to stay for a long time.

Help!

You attended college; did you graduate with a degree? What was your major? From what you have written it does not sound like you have had any job in your major course of study.

If you did not complete college I suggest you do so. If your have fallen out of love with your major or even if you have not; you can go to the counseling department and get tested for what you are best suited for. This test is usually provided for free. I did so many years ago and have had a great career in the area I was best suited for and made really good money.

In order to stay in a job it first has to be something you like. Old saying; i"If you love your work you will never work a day in your life." Meaning it is a joy to go to work.

why can't i ejeculate when I masterbate?

How old are you? Knowing your age will help us with ging advice.

Hi! My husband is a hoarder. The garage, shed, second outbuilding, attic, basement is full.He is piling things up outside and We got notices from the city about the "garbage" and he cleaned up a bitbut no all. We had a final notice today, we have 14 days to clean it or we go to court. I have done everything I can to clean up over 15 years but he just keeps accumulating. I am terrified of court and jail time. He gets very angry at me when I clean up. (donate, or thow out). He will pull things back out of the trash. This is killing me. We arent speaking again this evening because of it. What do I do? Go to court and say I have no say? Thanks..

You could just wait to be ordered to court and tell the judge this is all on your husband. That you have tried throwing things away to no avail that he just hauls them back.

Alternatively while he is at work you can call some one like 1-800-junk and have them haul the the junk away before he can retrieve it. Yes he will get pissed. Part two of this plan is get him some counseling with a psychologist about his hording. Counseling would not be an option he must go or the courts will send someone in to clean out the junk and he will be ordered to counseling.

This is your home too and you need to take charge.

What do I do? I'm married with two children and I no longer love my husband. We've been married for ten years and he is a soldier and is always gone. He doesn't acknowledge my feelings or needs. I want a divorce but with the financial situation, it would not be best at this time. I seek attention from other guys on the Whisper app but when it comes to the point they want to meet up I chicken out and ghost them. Can anyone give me advice?

I think your lonely and you have every right to be. Divorce is a solution not an answer to the problem. I also think that you are confusing or using your loneliness as having falling out of love with you husband.

You are not the first wife to feel this way. It's hard raising children on your own far from any family support. The military understands this and they have people to help. Take advantage of any support or counseling they offer.

Go to the base family affairs unit on base and ask for help. Please do not divorce your husband while deployed he needs to keep a clear head if you want him to come home safe.

I'm 24/f and I've been in college for around 5 years trying to get my bachelors. I work full time so I can't always take full time classes and had to take a semester off when I moved and had to find a new job. I still have a year and a half left of undergrad.

Anyways, I'm feeling very burnt out and like my bachelors degree is a giant waste of time. I'm so extremely tired of going to school and taking class after class with seemingly no end in sight. I feel like all I'm doing is wracking up debt. I'm newly engaged to my fiance and now the thing at the forefront of my mind (he's very solid in his career and financially) is us getting a house and getting married in the next two years. I know it won't be too long before he also starts wanting kids (probably around 5 years).

I've also gotten to the point where I realize my bachelor degree will mean little to nothing and I need a Masters in my chosen major to do anything with it. I feel scammed by my University advisors that create a false hope that there's a lot of openings in my career field, when in reality I've seen very few in the last few years.

A big part of me wants to say screw it, and go and get some kind of year to two year long medical certification that makes a satisfactory amount of money versus go to school for another four to five years for a job in my current major field. However, people keep insisting that my major is a good one and I'll be able to go on to do great things with it. Other people tell me to just finish my bachelors in my major and go for my Masters in something related, but in a different area.

I despise my classes currently and have no inspiration to continue on next semester. I just want to spend time with my fiance, work, do things I love, and live my life without the worry of studying, homework, and exams that seem to be never ending. I'm tired of professors saying they don't give A's in their class and I'm very much over borderline A/B grades which seem to happen a lot. I'll study intensely, have a high A all semester, and then in the last couple weeks the professors pile on more intense work to get more grades in their book and I'll wind up with something ridiculous like an 89.8B versus a 90A.

I really need some advice. I'm starting to feel like I'm just not cut out for this school thing, but it's too late to go back now. I can't take any further semesters off and I'm under pressure by my family, friends, and fiance to hurry up and finish a degree so I can move on with my life.

You sound very stressed out and may not be seeing things to clearly at the moment. I do like your thinking of getting a medical technicians degree or certification. Depending on what you are looking for you could work in a variety of places. Many of the medical technician training courses are only six months long.

Of course obtaining your BA is also important regardless of whether you work in your chosen field or not. My daughter in-law decided to go for her Masters Degree as it will mean more money in the field she is working and will also open more doors for her to advance her career. Like you she did not wish to become overwhelmed by school work or rushing from work to school. she has chose to get her degree through on-line courses taking one class a semester. Yes it took longer but her stress level will be lower and she will obtain her goal. She will receive her degree in June. Like you she also had to plan a wedding so she took that semester off.

From what you have written you have many avenues open to you. I suggest you finish this semester then take a semester off to relax and talk with your fiance as to just which avenue is best for you to follow that he can support.

I am an 18 year old girl. I feel like my nana prefers my cousins over me. I recently got a new job in my local council and a few months later my cousin who is the same age as me got a job in mcdonalds. My nana posted a facebook status congratulating him for getting a job but didn't do the same for me. Am I being selfish? Everytime I see my nana I feel like she prefers my cousins than me because she spends more time with them and never praises me for anything. I just feel like she hates me

I am the only boy in my family and I was the apple of my grandfathers eye because of this fact. Did he love my sister or two cousins any less? I don't think so but many years later my sister confessed she felt left out just as you are saying now.

There is probably more to this story then you are telling or may even know about but I doubt your Nana hates you. You're an adult know so I suggest that you sit down with Nana and ask her straight outwhy she favors your cousin over you. I'm certain she will tell you that is not true.

I had a counselor at Texas workforce comission for the WIOA program. They put you through training and help get jobs. My counselor did some things behind my back, like contacting my distant family members and spreading false information about me. She did tell Some of my personal business people and acted overall very unprofessional. When I confronted her about it, she got an attitude with me. I would call her to tell her that I had a bad day and she would contact my family members and a former counselor repeating to them everything that I told her. She got me a job, but told my supervisor negative things about my life to make them feel sorry and hire me out of pity. That supervisor on the job even said she did. She caused drama in my family by contacting them and a former counselor and discussing whatever I told her or whatever I did in the program. I really don't think shes supposed to do this. She tried to justify starting drama in my life by telling her boss that I'm a negative, horrible person and my family told her bad things about me which she repeated to her boss/coworkers.

She basically went behind my back to contact my family members/get in the middle of my family drama. She told my family everything I said to her in her office, which caused drama. She also told employers about my living situation and my family situation. They criticized me based on that. Most of these things I never told her, she got the info from contacting my former counselor and my family members. She acted unproffessional and tried to make me look like a horrible person. I feel like she has crossed the line and broken my trust.

Didn't she break confidentiality or something? I'm so annoyed. Is there any way I can report her?

From what you have written she has broken any confidentiality agreement. For just what your recourse is I suggest you contact a lawyer as laws vary from state to state. Most lawyers will see you at no charge for a first visit. If a monetary recovery is possible most lawyers will take the case for a percentage of the recovery.

Does anyone know if it's okay for a 15 year old to loose his virginity with a 13 year old virgin?

No it is not okay to have sex with a 13 year old virgin. She is to young to be making that kind of decision and you are two young to be having sex as well.

So I’ve been in a relationship for 5 years and my girlfriend is pressuring me with getting married. The issue is her sex drive is pretty low (We’re in our mid 20’s) and we only have sex once a week sometimes once every two and I feel like she only does it to keep me happy on routine. I’m afraid that once we get married this will get worse to the point I will be unsatisfied. I’ve brought this issue to her attention multiple times and it just ends up with her crying. It’s been over 2 years with this issue so I have given it some time. We get along really well and rarely fight but this one issue really concerns me. What should I do?

I am not a doctor but a twenty something with a low sex drive could be a hormonal problem. Before you throw 5 years out the window I suggest you ask her to talk to her PCP or GYN. A simple pill may be all that is needed to unlock her sex drive.

While your at it and in the spirit of solidarity ask your pcp to test your testosterone level.

Is that an insult?

yes

I have had burning a little on and off, feelings of having urinate a lot, tested for UTI it came back normal. I had sex with someone different for about the last 2-3 months. I have felt fine, but I'm worried about STD's. I was at my OBGYN, He said all looked good, but would he have a feeling if I had an STD? I'm so worried and feel so scared to get tested, help?

Get tested the longer you wait the worse the problem could be if you do have an STD. The sooner discovered the sooner an STD can be cured. Chances are good you do not have an STD but you need to be tested to be sure.

In the future and until you are in a steady monogamous relationship make sure the boy uses a condom. Condoms prevent the transfer of most SYD's and the HIV/AIDS virus. You need to protect yourself and not count on the guy to be truthful.

To make a long story short, I've been working at a strip club as a waitress for going on 9 months soon. At first I had also been working a second job as a medical claims associate, but two jobs and college proved to be too difficult and I was making way more at the strip club and able to take time off from there as needed for classes so I left my medical job.

My question is, should I put my waitressing job on my resume to show that I am currently working and that I haven't been unemployed or is it too unprofessional?

List the job. College resumes are looked at not the type of work you do but your work ethic. The waitressing job is easily explained as a means to an end. This job allowed you the flexibility to obtain your degree. This show your work ethic very clearly.

Hi there! My question is more so for people who hire teachers, but any advice is appreciated! This is my second year teaching full-time. Before this, I worked in a tutoring center and I taught ESL part-time. But, I've had two years of experience as a classroom teacher. Both of these, however, have been at different schools.

I left the first school because I was promised a raise and it was not granted to me. Normally, I don't make decisions based off of finances only, but my salary was less than $30,000 and I live in a city where the cost of living is relatively high. I am now at a school that I like everything is great. I really enjoy my job. But, I want to leave the city because it is much much too expensive for me. At my previous jobs, the tutoring center and ESL job, I was there for 2 years at each. But, I was only one year at each of these schools full time.

I'm wondering if this would be an issue if I move. Would my employment history not look good because I was only at these schools for one year? On the other hand, however, moving is a pretty understandable reason for not being able to stay in your previous place of employment. Also, I would have glowing reviews from that leadership.

Any help and wisdom from experience is appreciated!

Jumping from job to job can say alot about the person whose resume is being looked at. In your case being young and these jobs in the past were right out of college; most Human Resource Managers will over look it. Also being a teacher whose job is dependant on budgets you would be last in first out in any job shrinkage from budget cuts.

Question if you like the school and the job you have now whby do you have to change jobs. You can move out of the city and into the suburbs and commute. My niece is doing just that having taken a teaching job in one county but has moved further away in to another county for the lower cost of living.

15 year old girl...lately, I've been having these bizzare sexual dreams. And it isn't just plain old sex-I once had a dream where literally everyone everywhere I went was fighting to eat me out, and another one where I was being paid by two girls to have threesomes with them in the bathroom, or even one that involved me riding a barrel attached to a rope hanging from the ceiling that made me aroused.

I don't know what these dreams mean nor do I know how to stop them, they just make me feel weird. Is this normal?

It's normal to have these dreams. THe dream itself is meaningless. THe cause of these dreams are hormonal associated with puberty. Boys have these dreams as well and usually end up with them ejaculating in there slee THe guys call them wet dreams. If you haven't had a climax in your sleep you will at some point.

As I said the dreams themselves are meaning less. They don't mean this is the type of sex life you want or will have as an adult. They are simply hormonal stimulation. If you do orgasm relax and enjoy the feeling.

i took a random poll and asked men how long after dating a woman do you "expect" her to give you some? 98% said two weeks ...REALLY? that is so pathetic....are women really looked down upon as sex objects....men do wife those types of women, but do men really think after a few steaks and mcdonalds you're supposed to give him some...that is so sad, I think if women respected themselves and had some classes they wouldn't be looked at as sex objects and nutrags and men wont objective them...
aren't women worth more than being a sex toy...

Back in the dark ages of the mid to late 60's it was felt that after a 3rd date it was okay to have sex. Fact is though it is really up to the female as to when and what type of sexual pleasure to offer and indulge in.

As for women being sex objects. THe first attraction in any male/female relationship is sexual attraction. We, men and women, are hard wired to procreate. While we each attract the opposite sex in different ways it is the female of the human species that is designed specifically to attract the male.

This is why I say it is the female of the human species that controls when and type of sex to offer the male. If you are running into me that see you only as a sex object you dating the wrong men and probably looking in the wrong places. Just remember in the future it is up to you to offer sex not up to him to demand it because he bought you a steak dinner or a couple of hamburgers.

24/f
Through working a lot of extra hours and having a new job that pays more than my old job, i've been able to save more money than I've ever had before. I currently have around 13k in my bank account. I told myself when I got to 10k that it would be enough for me to feel financially secure and that anything I made over that I would use just to pay bills and buy anything extra I need. My bills every month are around $1500 to give some perspective.

I currently have a new car, a home I love with my significant other, and really everything I need. I have a few things that could use upgrading, but they still work fine. For example, I have a three year old laptop. It works fine, but I would eventually like to upgrade to the newer model. The issue is a new one would be around 2k so I'm just going to wait because I feel like 2k is just a bit more than I want to spend right now, while my current one still works fine.

With that said though sometimes I wonder if maybe the 13k isn't enough because I still worry about spending 2k. Does that mean I should save more? Is 13k really enough?

My significant other has his own savings and a lucrative job (he makes far more than me actually) and he's always reminding me that money isn't an issue and is something I should never worry about because he could pay for anything that need be if I couldn't. However, I don't like to rely on his money so I'm not counting it.

Am I overthinking things? I really worry about something big happening that I'll need the money for, but I don't know if I'm just paranoid because in the past I've never really had more than 2k in my account.

You are in far better financial shape then I was at your age and probably better then 90% of people your age today. Being aware of your finances is a good thing. Making sure you spend your money wisely on things you need not just must haves to keep up with friends is very good.

Can we ever be totally financially secure? THat is a question you can spend hours discussing and still not be sure of an answer. THe rule of thumb has always been that three months earnings in the bank is what a person needs to guard against a financial disaster in an emergency.

I hope I have offered you some insight.

I'm 18 and I work in a restaurant. There's this guy that works there as well. Hes 22. He's very sweet, very nice, and he's a really good person to talk to.

Any problem I ever had, I would go to him and he'd always help me out and give me advice. Once, I was supposed to talk to him about something at the end of work but someone kept talking to him and i had to go. He texted me later that night apologizing for not being able to talk to me, and he told me to text him what's wrong.

He's like my best friend at work, we always talk and joke. A few days ago, we were talking about something and he said "it's hard not to notice you" and I'm like "what's that supposed to mean??" And he was like "because you're really pretty". I thought he was just lying because it was out of the blue and random.

Today, I had different makeup on and when he saw me at work, he was like "you look nice today". And then later on I started talking to him something while he was doing something on the computer and he got distracted and started talking a lot and then he was like "wait.. what was I doing? See, i forgot what i was doing because you're so pretty!"

Does this mean anything? It just kinda feels as if he's saying it just to be nice. I don't know.

Is there any reason why someone would not find you pretty? There is only a 4 year age difference between you so there is no reason why if asked not to date him.

If you two were younger say 15 and 19 then there would be an age problem. You are an adult now, even if in your senior year of high school by law you are an adult. As an adult the age difference between two adults dating has less mean.

Enjoy the compliments and if asked for a date; use your best judgment and decide if you want to know him at that level or just as a friend.

Hello , so i am a 22 year old healthy fit male who's mixed and I've been trying to deal with this issue for quiet a while now : people (males &females) stare at me for some reason which really annoys me. It makes me feel uncomfortable ; it takes away my focus when I'm doing something. It makes feel like something is wrong about me whether it's appearance,clothes...etc. What i do is i look back with a stern look!. I'm just trying to give them a signal to stop looking at me. i already lack self confidence and self esteem , so when that happens i get worse...

People stare for many different reasons. At one time a male or female of mixed race was an oddity; not so today. The people who stare are just being plain rude and I would suggest you try to ignore them.

While looking back may let you feel better you are in a sense antagonizing them. Giving them reason to stare at you over and over again.

If this is happening in the work place or at school then you can talk with HR about this as it is creating a "Hostile Work Environment for you," a violation of Federal Law. If at school go to the Dean of students with the same complaint.

I am planning on seeing a play on my birthday. I am thinking about seeing the Witches at the Los Altos Stage Company on my birthday. It is an adaption of a Roald Dahl novel and in 1990, the novel was adapted into a film starring Anjelica Huston and Rowan Atkinson. I have read some of Roald Dahl’s other works such as the BFG, James and the Giant Peach, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and its sequel Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator, Matilda, and Danny: Champion of the World. However, the Witches is more aimed towards children and my next birthday is going to be my twenty-sixth birthday, so I may be a little too old to be seeing this play. The thing is that the play is going to be in Los Altos, California and I live in Danville, which is an hour northeast of Los Altos. So it is going to take an hour to get home from Los Altos if I see the play.

Because I am autistic, I tend to like things that are meant for younger people. For example, I like Beauty and the Beast, Thomas and Friends, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, and Hello Kitty. However, I have always been a fan of Roald Dahl’s works so this play might be suited for me. Plus my mother likes witches so this play may be suited for her as well.

What do you think I should do? Should I see this play or should I not waste my money on it and see something else like a movie that night? Please let me know what you think I should do. I hope that you can help me come up with a solution to the problem.

A play adapted from a book does not mean the play follows the book exactly. One of the main problems in adapting a book to a play rather than a movies is the stage is limited in what can be presented. Where as a movie can more follow the book because of the fewer limitations in presentation.

That being said nothing says the play is directed at a younger audience. Even so you like the works of the book author it might be interesting and entertaining to see how the director adapts the book to the stage.

My advice is go and enjoy the play.

I'm 14 and my sister is 10. Since my sister was about 4 years old my mom started not being nice to me but super nice to my sister ( offers to help my sister with school work, does her chores for her and never blames her for anything ) in fact if my sister ever does bad stuff ( which she does all the time knowing that she won't get in trouble ) my mom screams at me saying my sister used to be sweet and i made her a brat but then goes back to my sister like everything is fine. also we are both homeschooled and my mom will not help me with my school work i have to try and do all of it by myself i also cook all the meals for my family, clean and do all the laundry anyway i just don't think it's ok the way she treats me. sorry this is so long.

Your situation is not unique. THe younger child is generally the one mom will always think of as her baby. THe older child is the experiment in parenting. Whatever they feel they did wrong with the older child they make up for with the younger child.

The real problem is parents do not realize what they are doing and how it affects the older child and the relationship between siblings. My Aunt pitted my two cousins against each other to the point as adults they do not speak to one another.

I suggest you talk with grandparent or Aunt, preferably moms sister and see if they won't intervene for you.

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