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MEN WHY IS THIS????????????
i took a random poll and asked men how long after dating a woman do you "expect" her to give you some? 98% said two weeks ...REALLY? that is so pathetic....are women really looked down upon as sex objects....men do wife those types of women, but do men really think after a few steaks and mcdonalds you're supposed to give him some...that is so sad, I think if women respected themselves and had some classes they wouldn't be looked at as sex objects and nutrags and men wont objective them...
aren't women worth more than being a sex toy...
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I assume your random poll was of men around your age. I believe the answers may change some for males from teen years to senior citizen ages. The younger the male, with less life experience, they can tend to be all about the new sensation of experiencing sex. I watching a dating video on you tube years ago by two men who were friends and recalled for the audience how many women they did not value and treated badly and yes, like sex objects when they were younger. These men didn't wake up to appreciate women like Mr. Wesley so wonderfully explained. I agree with him and will share more along those lines. The men in the video regretted how many women they mistreated or brushed off. Now looking back, they realized those women were all like precious jewels and they lost their chance with them.
As also mentioned, it is sexual attraction that most people experience first. While the female is simply happy to be in the presence of a man she is sexually attracted to while basking in all the wonderful feelings fluttering around inside her because of him, a male who is in the presence of a sexually attractive female, will experience way more than just the same good feelings inside, a certain member of his body, without him having any control over what it does, will react to her presence and when it does that, which is what must happen for any couples who want to have sex, it is quite hard to not at least think of sex because his member is now hard and ready. Sorry to be so graphic but this is something many women never give a thought to. If I had a penis and it was reacting like that all the time, I'd be thinking of sex too. Now what you are experiencing or simply finding from talking to other men, a good amount of men do not exercise self control which is something that must happen if they really have found a woman they really like. However we live in a society that parades 'self indulgence' in front of us daily in media ads and so on. "wear this after shave and you'll be sexually irresistible to women" the ads seem to say when a beautiful woman in the ad practically drapes herself all over him. And there are ads like this for women too. So some of this is due to todays society.
In the end, as the others told you, it is really up to the woman as to when she is ready to have sex with a man. A gentleman will give her clues that he finds her beautiful and attractive and as told by Mr Wesley, put her on a pedestal with how wonderful he treats her. The issue is, there are not many gentlemen to be found today as in past generations. They still exist though. I found one for a second husband. I will quickly share my story. Like Wesley, the first time around, I did not have sex before marriage and we did not live together. My experiences that I will now share are my own but influenced how I feel about when to have sex with a man I meet. The first hubby was dysfunctional, verbally abusive and had some mental illness. None of this did I see before marrying him. After our kids were grown, I left him and got a divorce. Because of not having a clue about him and his sexual habits, I ended up sexually mismatched and vowed to not experience that in a marriage ever again. I can give some examples, I had high libido, he had low one, so he didn't need as often, was always saying no when I made advances as it had to be on his terms, he was uninventive and didn't like to try things other than the missionary position, no oral sex, no mutual masturbation or play with toys, and I never had an orgasm with him. His eyes never lit with desire for me. I found this all out AFTER marrying him. So the second time around, it was important to me to find my sexual equal, a man with a high libido but who left it to me to make the first move. I was no longer a young girl marrying a dream to have kids with. I was older and my kids grown, so my situation was different. Both my 2nd husband and I communicate well. We talked a week solid, every evening after work until midnight and learned so much about each other, before we met in person (found on internet dating site) So we both already loved each others minds, what we stood for and now it was a matter of meeting in person to see if we felt any chemistry and attraction. There are plenty of good looking guys that I have never felt attraction to. A photo is one thing, but theres a certain chemistry you can only feel in person. We met on his job break on a Monday for a short short bit but we could tell there was chemistry. We talked another week til the next weekend when he invited me over, he had a teen age daughter for me to meet. She liked me so I passed there. He had repaired a book I gave him that was falling apart. So when it was time to leave, I thanked him and waited but he was not going to kiss me goodbye, he was leaving even that up to me. So I had to kiss him. When He knew that was okay, he took that cue and would kiss from then on but not make any sexual advances. I had to do that too. So I think we saw each other every evening from that first meet at his place where the daughter approved of him. She was the one who insisted he date and find himself someone as she would soon be out of the home and him all alone. It was only 2 weeks after meeting in person that I initiated sex with him. So far he was a gentleman and from what he said, he sounded like what I was looking for and the same for me with what he was looking for. I did not want to date longer to find out like the last husband that we were sexually mismatched. I was not disappointed. He is a most attentive lover. I realized I had found my sexual match, and what was left that only more time spent with him would reveal, is whether we could also treat each other as best friends and to see if his words about himself were only words or whether he could prove it through his actions as Mr. Wesley said. So a month after meeting him, I was already in search for a cheaper apartment for myself, so it was an easy thing to agree to move in with him, another thing I never did the first time. There are things you can learn living with a person that are too easy to hide if they just come pick you up for dates or you visit when they are expecting you and have cleaned the place for a guest. I am just trying to say that there are as many different situations due to experience growing up or in a previous marriage where a female may not choose to wait the same amount of time that another female does. My story shows that. Its nine years of marriage later and this man of mine still has eyes lighting up with desire when he looks at me. A woman at a volunteer thing we do every Tues. noticed him staring at me often, knows we're married and said something, "You're staring at your wife," "Yes, I love looking at her." he says. She nodded and said simply, "That is a good thing, that you do that." She saw his desire for me in his eyes. Nt many people would catch that but she did. This is how it should be for couples but rarely is. Decide what it is you want and if a guy is interested enough to ask you out a second time, then lay down a list of what your boundaries and rules are. I never left this up for a guy to guess on. They knew I was looking for my best friend and sexual equal and never thought it odd that I spelled it all out right in the beginning as I did with my now husband. I also found that men respond well to a self confidence in a female, are actually very attracted to it. And what they interpret as self confidence is a female who is not afraid to spell out what she wants and doesn't want and who is not afraid to ask for it and doesn't apologize for it. Yes, I met plenty of men who only wanted a female for social dating and sex but nothing in the future. I let them know I was okay dating for a while but I would be happiest finding a man to marry. All I wanted was the truth from them. Of course, these were men in their forties and fifties, but all respected my wishes. If they could not meet my criteria quite a few got upset and said I was unreasonable and they never made it past the first meet up. The lady calls the shot as the others told you. So make sure to work on your self confidence and not afraid to spell out what you want and don't want right at the start. If a guy doesn't like that, then good, let him walk away because you would not have been happy with him. Only the ones agreeable to what your boundaries and rules are, are the ones worth investigating further.
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My wife and I waited till we were married before we had sex and for that matter to live together. I know in this day and age that is considered outdated and definitely rare, but ultimately it is you decision on how you approach sex. My personal opinion women that are trying to find a lasting relationship should be looking for a guy that puts them on a pedestal. Not to worship them, but to respect them as a person and not an object. They should want to protect you from anything they can, honor you with not just their words, but their actions. You can't possibly know someone enough to give the most intament part of you in just a few dates. I hear guys all the time talking about a woman as a piece of meat. Find someone that talks and treats you like a precious treasure that they don't want to loose. Then you will know you have found someone you can trust and cares about you as a person and not an object to be used and discarded.
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Back in the dark ages of the mid to late 60's it was felt that after a 3rd date it was okay to have sex. Fact is though it is really up to the female as to when and what type of sexual pleasure to offer and indulge in.
As for women being sex objects. THe first attraction in any male/female relationship is sexual attraction. We, men and women, are hard wired to procreate. While we each attract the opposite sex in different ways it is the female of the human species that is designed specifically to attract the male.
This is why I say it is the female of the human species that controls when and type of sex to offer the male. If you are running into me that see you only as a sex object you dating the wrong men and probably looking in the wrong places. Just remember in the future it is up to you to offer sex not up to him to demand it because he bought you a steak dinner or a couple of hamburgers.
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