Long distance relationships are hard. I'm not saying it's not going to work, but you should consider your options. You can date this guy at your school and see what all happens with that-or you can keep staying with Christian.

You seem to really like Christian, so I don't see a problem unless you aren't a long distance kind of girl. It takes very hard work and you both have to put in all of your efforts to keep it alive.

-TheTeenGirl

It will take very long for you to get over this guy, but what other choose do you have other then to just keep being heartbroken for a couple of more years? It's definetly far from worth it. Three years was way too long to keep trying.

Stop trying to figure this guy out and start moving forward with your life. You will continue to think of him, but start looking at some other guys you are interested in because you've waited too long on this guy. If he wants you, then let him come to you! If he starts telling you he misses you, just say, "Aww" instead of, "I miss you too" you'll feel better. Don't read his away messages unless you must know where he is. But it seems to me that he doesn't like to tell where hes at.

I think this guy can't seem to know who he wants, so he's complimenting every girl to recieve the attention he's getting. So, backfire his plan and don't let him feed on your attention and he'll eventually learn that he has to make a move sometime. As for what you do in your spare time, work on something else instead of being on the computer. It'll keep you from reading his messages and give you some space from him.

-TheTeenGirl

I completely agree. Anytime I can't even read a question, I skip it and move on and thats what everyone should do. If you want a question answered, you should type it, copy it into Microsoft for a spell check and then post it. Not everyone, but people who aren't very good spellers.

But what really gets to me is when people don't make sense in what they are typing. It's like I will get completely lost and will have to skip it. The moderators really need to write those people a personal message saying that the question won't be submitted until the question has correct grammer and makes some sense! And we aren't even asking for that much here, just a little grammer, not a big run-on sentence that gives us a headache!

-TheTeenGirl

It's just better for you to step away and let your friend decide whether or not this guy is good for her. I mean, your words advice might help, but she probably won't listen to you and not because she doesn't think you're right, but because she just wants to keep control in her own relationship.

So you should try checking on her and ask her how things are going every once in a while, but don't make it sound like you are a concerned parent or anything because she'll just take it like you don't trust her that her boyfriend has gotten better.

-TheTeenGirl

If you really feel like this is going to hurt your friend, don't be afraid to come out and ask her. Tell her that you really feel that she may be hiding her feelings and that you really need to know that this is ok.

I think you should listen to that side thats screaming because it's probably right. Heres the opportunity to do something for yourself and you might not want to miss out on it. It could be something really good.

-TheTeenGirl

-Get yourself a Photobucket account or any website that hosts pictures.

-Upload the pictures from your computer file and there will be 3 codes at the bottom of your picture. Copy the 'Tag' code and paste it in your About Me section in Myspace.

(Incase you didn't know, you click on the code and it will highlight itself and you right click on it and click, "Copy".)

-TheTeenGirl

It wasn't really right to tell Brittany anything that Carrie said about her.

It's really hurtful to repeat things that were said about the girls and it's not important for her to know. Now, lets face the facts, you told Brittany everything so that maybe she would like you more for telling her everything and being honest, right?

Whatever the reason was, it was wrong for you tell her anything that was said. If they really need to know, they should go and ask each other themselves. The best that you can do is stay out of it. Especially when it's a girl fight. They get catty and they say horrible things about each other that they hardly even mean and it's best for you to just nod and listen, and then change the subject. If they start asking you what you think or whose side you're on, start talking to them both about how you are not going to be forced on sides.

Maybe it's time to tell them separatly that it's best for them to go their own ways and quit talking about each other. Which may not happen, but as long as you stay out of it, then things will eventually get better for all of you.

-TheTeenGirl

I think your thoughts are moving in the right direction. I think it's time to break-up and I know that thought really hurts, but it's for the best. I can promise you that. I think you need to really start a new chapter in your life without him and without drugs. If you are with someone who does drugs or gets drunk all the time, you'll never be able to trust them and what is a good relationship without trust?

I really hope that you come clean with your life and find a guy you truly deserve. You are right when you say that this guy is the reason for a lot of your troubles. And I know another reason why you have so many troubles. You are doing drugs too and that causes a lot of problems also. So I really hope you get your life together because you seem to be very smart about things and you can get through this.

-TheTeenGirl

I know your feelings. Being jealous is just about the worst feeling and it takes some time to make it go away.

The only reasons you should feel jealous about your boyfriend interacting with girls is if:

-He's cheated on you before

-One of those girls is an Ex-girlfriend

-You possibly have trust issues with your boyfriend

If you have no reasons at all to feel jealous, then it's pretty unfair to your boyfriend. It's basically saying that you don't trust him before he even gets a chance to show you that you can trust him. You have to be fair and give your boyfriend a chance.

When you go to bed and start feeling depressed, think about these reasons I've listed and tell yourself that you have to be fair. By all means, you can cry it out, but you have to begin understanding that you have no reason not to trust him. When you see him talking to other girls, don't be afraid to but in and say hi. Who knows, you might even become friends with these girls or at least people who are ok with each other. I know it might seem crazy, but don't you think it's better than not knowing who these girls are?

-TheTeenGirl

Well, this really has to be hard. It's pretty hard to be just left hanging.


However, I went through the same thing. This guy always left me hanging and finally I told him that I just couldn't wait anymore and we ended it to make a long story short.

So basically you have to decide whether you can wait or not. If you feel like you aren't being told the truth about why he needs a break, then I think you should call him and ask him if he's telling the truth. It won't make you seem at all desperate, it's not right for you to feel like you are being lied to. If he says that he's being honest, then you have to ask him what kind of break he means. A break as in he's going to date other girls, or a break as in he needs time.

If he needs time, then you have to decide whether you want to wait. No matter what you do, it won't be wrong. The only thing that would be wrong is to wait while he was dating other girls. So, just find out what he really wants and I'm sure you can go from there.

-TheTeenGirl

Very interesting question. To be honest, I doubt theres a right reason.

People want to find love because its nothing like you've ever experienced before. It makes you happy, it makes you feel good about yourself and when we feel good about ourselves it just makes everything easier. Of course, you should never try to look for love to higher your self-esteem. You should be able to make yourself happy first.

It's as if you have your family and your friends and they may be close to you, but it isn't nearly as close as coming home at night to the person who understands you and loves you.

There is no clear explaination as to why we feel the need to always want love, but we want it because its wonderful. It brings two people very close and it's only those two people. It's not like having a best friend, you know where friends always have other friends? Well it's not that way for having a boyfriend or a girlfriend. It's two people only being close to each other. Theres no third party or other people. It's like a big secret that two people keep together.

I think what you heard is right. No two people can fully understand each other. There will always be times when you don't understand and disagree. People don't exactly set out to find someone who fully understands us, we look for people who will treat us right and make us feel wanted.

I'll admit that this was really hard to explain, but let's face it, we really don't have a clue as to why we look so hard for love.

-TheTeenGirl

[READ THIS!]



Are you kidding me? Who are you to judge me and whether I have been in love or not? You don't idiot. "Oh I can't live without him" do you know how third grade that is? You CAN live without him, and it doesn't matter what your life is like, whose died and if you are in some foster home, you get heart broken, and you go through the same pain that everyone else does.

It just so happens that I have been in a serious relationship, it went for 3 years and guess what? We broke up! And guess what else? I'm still alive! I'm still happy, and I know that I can live without him.

If you think that you can stop him from doing pot, you have fun with that, but let me tell you, the chances are too slim to try. It's not worth it. So before you go off and assume that I've never been with someone, make sure you know that. So lets compare, 3 years-5 months. Hmm, no way you'll never survive without this guy after 5 months...
Seriously, get over yourself.

I'm sorry, but why would your boyfriend say this unless it was intentional?

I'm not trying to critisize the poster below me, but this isn't something you can just forget about. It's harsh and it has nothing to do with 'not caring about looks' even if you really thought someone was ugly, you don't tell them that harshly unless you are absolutely trying to put them down on purpose.

Now, I'm wondering if this was during a fight. People tend to say things they don't mean when fighting, but he kind of crossed the line with that comment. Whatever the situation was, it was wrong and you have to tell him that it hurt you. Plus, let's admit something true here. If we aren't attracted to the person we love, it makes it harder to love them as much. I'm definitely not saying what he said was true, but it's pretty important that you know what he really thinks of you.

If what he said was true, then obviously you can't stay with him. It would jeopardize your relationship and you're self-esteem would eventually go all the way down the drain and you don't deserve that. If what he said wasn't true, give him a hard time about what he said and let him know how you felt when you heard it. I think he deserves to feel pretty bad about this.

-TheTeenGirl

As much as you want this girl to have feelings for you, she doesn't and it's something you have to just deal with.

Plus, she's probably not the only girl you have your eyes on lately. And besides, she's only dating this guy, they aren't getting married and they likely won't. Now who knows, she might end up liking you later on, but not now.

The best that you can do is live your life in the present. Everyone gets rejected and hurt, and they just move on whether they want to or not.

-TheTeenGirl

I wouldn't jump to conclusions just yet. I mean this is pretty bad, but if they are friends like he claims, then you should tell him that when he says "I love you" to other girls it's not as special because you know he's off saying it to other girls. Don't be afraid to speak your mind.

If he gets all moody and acts like it's such a big deal to not be able to say he loves another girl, then you have to decide whether you can accept this or not. Personally, I'd be pretty upset and tell him he can't say it to other girls. It's not even apart of his friendships. He may care very much for his friends, but he's taking it too far. He should really care for his friends and love you.

-TheTeenGirl

I think it's really good that you've admitted to yourself that you have anorexia, but what they mean by admitting is telling an adult.

You're right, you can't do this on your own, you need to just confess this to your mom or dad, whichever you feel the most comfortable telling. And I know you may not feel comfortable at all, but once it's out, you'll feel a lot better knowing that someone knows you have a problem.

Maybe you should look at sites on the best way to go about confronting anorexia and how to approach your parents on it. Just don't let fear stop you from telling them, you have to take care of your body now and not keep letting yourself live like this.

http://www.mirror-mirror.org/telling.htm
[This is on telling someone, I think it'll help you a bit on confronting your issue]

http://www.gurl.com/findout/dwi/pages/0,,644678,00.html
[This is a few resources for eating disorders. I personally love this site, it's a guide for teenage girls in just about every problem you can think of.]

-TheTeenGirl

Listen. You aren't the only guy whose been through a very tough break-up. I know you feel horrible and worthless right now, but these feelings are temporary, I can promise you that.

If you continue to convince yourself that it's the end of the world, then you will get worse. You may think that every day when you wake up and every night before you fall asleep, but do not let that become of you. If a break-up meant it was the end, then we'd all be gone right now. Your situation, feelings and problems may feel different than everyone elses, but they aren't that different. Almost everyone faces this.

What you have to do is take everything one at a time. Crying is more than ok. It drains most of the bad feelings and you feel a little bit better after a really good cry. Don't be afraid to really break-down sometimes and just let it out. Being a male doesn't mean you don't feel pain. If you are a human being, you feel pain and you cry.

As you can probably tell, I've been through this. Actually I'm getting through it right now. I was with a guy who I had very strong feelings for. It wasn't some sixteen year old fling. It was a relationship that lasted 3 years and ended very recently. It's far from easy, but each day I realize that I am getting stronger. And I realize that I am living my life without him when all of this time I thought he was my life. But that wasn't true. He was a very big portion of my life. There was my life, and then there was his, and then there was our life binded together. So now the only part left is my life and I have to live it. Just like you do. You have your life left ahead of you to live. You can't give up because of this girl.

I know exactly what you feel when you can't seem to believe that there is no more good times to come. It's ok to feel this way. You have just been put through something very hard, of course you're feeling this way.

The part of your question that concerns me is that you say there are only two options left for you. Take pills, or end your life. You are wrong. You left out the last option. And that one is moving on and picking yourself back up. The option that makes you stronger. You know it's absolutely too far to end your life over this girl. She may have been very special to you, but it's not enough to end your life over.


1- Distractions: When you find yourself really depressed and upset, turn on the TV or go for a walk. Go to the gym and workout or anything that takes your mind away.

2- Venting: There are times when you won't be able to take your mind away as easily. So you have to just deal with the feelings in your own way possible. Write in a journal, cry, call a friend, go walking, listening to a favorite song and sing until you can't anymore.

3- Limiting: It's ok to have days where you stay at home and be alone, but you have to limit those days. Staying at home in your bed may feel good every once in a while, but it won't if you do it repeatedly. Spend a lot of time out with friends or family members. Even if you feel horrible the entire time, it's worth it.

4- Counseling/Support groups: I know you wanted support groups online, but what about some private counseling sessions? It wouldn't hurt to have a counselor help you get through all of this. If you find that it isn't working, then you can always stop. Just try things, you never know how it might help.

5- Dating again: You might be thinking that just because you don't have a girlfriend anymore you have to start searching immediatly for another. That isn't true. You have to start dating again when you feel ready. Which could be a very long time.


I hope that everything I've said has helped in some way. But I will give you some sites too since that's what you really wanted.


http://teenadvice.about.com/od/factsheetsforteens/a/10thingsbreakup.htm
[This one is basically some tips on moving on]

http://www.samaritans.org.uk/
[You can E-mail this group and it's basically for emotional support. You can also call or write to them, which ever is best for you.]

http://www.eslteachersboard.com/cgi-bin/motivation/index.pl?noframes;read=585
[7 quick and easy ways to feel happier]


-TheTeenGirl

Alright, pretty tough situation.

First, you can't make yourself not have feelings for someone. It'll never happen so don't even try it, I promise it's all just a waste of time.

Don't cuddle with this guy at all. What were you thinking when you were doing that anyway? I mean it's one thing to have a crush on your best friend's guy, but you act on those feelings, that's when it gets too far. Even if it's a joke. It shouldn't matter, especially with the fact that you've got a thing for him. It makes you feel happier and it makes it harder for you to accept that this guy is not yours.

What you have to do is stop being so touchy-feely with him. Stop doing anything close with him even if his girlfriend could care less.

-TheTeenGirl

I definetly think you have every right to worry or feel a little scared of him cheating, but the thing is that the past is the past and you have to be fair to this guy by giving him a chance and if he actually does cheat, then you should be jealous and upset.

You can't really spend most of your time with him being scared or it won't be any fun to be with him and it definetly won't be fun for him. And you're right, if you don't stop being paranoid and jealous then he might have to leave because he's not being trusted when he hasn't done wrong yet.

I know you can't just snap your fingers and get rid of these emotions, but you can keep these feelings to yourself and reach out to him by trusting him even if you are paranoid inside. The best way to fade out these feelings are to do activities of your own. Don't just sit at home while your boyfriend is out with friends or other events. It lets your mind wander and that's probably when you'll start feeling scared.

-TheTeenGirl

I don't see any problem with taking your Ex back, but not on your terms. If he wants you back, he should tell you. You shouldn't confront him or talk to him about it. He should instant message you, call you, or come up to you and tell you he has regrets. And your best friend should be telling him this too.

The thing is, that when you are young, it's not going to really matter whether he thinks he can come back or not. He has probably realized that he made a mistake and there is truly nothing wrong with giving him another chance. The only wrong with it would be if you didn't have feelings for him anymore, but yo do.

-TheTeenGirl

My name is Erin and I am now 18 years old. You may realize through out looking at my column, some of you love me and some of you flat out hate me. There's really no gray area with me I guess you can say.

I haven't given advice here in so long and it's only because I got caught up in life. But I'm more mature than I ever thought I could be.
So anyway I'm here again. It's been a long time, but I still love giving advice and still plan on it in the future.

Everyone should feel free to Private Message me for advice, I can be harsh, but I'm always trying to help someone by giving them the truth they need.

About My Ratings:
I enjoy ratings. And if I ask a question on here, I always rate the person. If you work hard to give advice, you deserve to be rated.

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