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one of my best friend's boyfriend=my secret lover
15/f
one of my very good friends is going out with another one of my very good friends. before they were going out i didnt like him any more than a friend but now that they are i have this strong attraction to him. we joke around together, for example he'll cuddle with me in front of his girlfriend and we'll just say "oh dont tell her" but she's ok with it and knows we're joking.he tries to hold my hand but im not that comfortable doing that when he has a girl friend. but ever since we've been joking around i finally realized that i really do like him but i would never want him to cheat on one of my best friends. i like them as a couple alot, they're really cute together but even when he's cuddling with her i still have an attraction to him. basically i want to make myself see him as just a friend again and i dont know how.
PLEAS HELP
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hey babydoll. ♥
i am kinda going through this right now except for the fact that its not my best friends boyfriend! anyways..i was good friends with this guy for about 5 months.. we flirted like crazy and then i was starting to think. hes so adorable, sweet, everything..am i starting to like him? but i kept this all a secret because i am definately someone who doesnt show their feelings. he liked this other girl at the moment and he asked her out and now they have been going out for 4 months. i know how hard it is for you to see them together even though you think they are cute together! i try to be happy for this guy i mean he is my friend right? i want him to be happy! but then again he always flirts with me, and i personally dont know his girlfriend but then i feel bad flirting back because i know he has a girlfriend and i know its not fair for her! i am STILL trying to get over this guy and the thing im trying to do is keep my distance from him! try going out with your girl friends and have a good time, get your mind off him..look for another guy! because i mean this guy is already taken right? so whats the point of flirting with him still because this is going to make you more attached to him. i know it may be hard to keep your distance from your best friends boyfriend but it would be the best thing for you. its not fair for you to wait around and maybe wait for them to breakup if thats what you want. but then like at the football games you can go say hi to him but then go find your friends, go with your other guy friends maybe if you start hanging out with one of them you may start having feelings for him, and start flirting with him and be attracted to him like your attracted to this guy. i know its going to be REALLY hard to try and look at this guy as "just friends" because im trying to do the same thing with the guy i am talking about and i know what your going through but try and keep your distance, get your mind off him! :]
you deserve someone who loves YOU and you only! not another person, especially your best friend. be happy for her, for them. and try not to flirt with him because its probably hurting her but she doesnt want you to be mad or anything.
goodluck hun, keep me updated and sorry i couldnt help out that much but you cant really control your feelings!
♥
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Never, EVER flirt with your best friends guy! EVER! You are being selfish by risking your relationship for this guy. The fact that you liked him AFTER he started dating your best friend is a major red flag to me. You only have an attraction because you can see what he is like with your best friend, and how he is as a boyfriend now and not as a friend, and you like it. But he is obviously not so great for your best friend if he flirts with you and tries to hold your hand... think about it... He is trying to cheat on her with her best friend! How does that make him a good guy at all? Exactly. He is not. I'm sure he is sweet and has his moments, but cuddling with you in front of her? That is completely crossing the line! Completely! She might say it doesn't bug her, but it probably does. If you were dating some guy you liked, and your best friend started cuddling next to him, flirting with him, and then you see him try to hold her hand, I'm pretty sure you would be pissed as hell! So tell this guy to keep his hands off you, because he is dating your best friend and you were wrong for flirting with him in the first place. Make it clear to him that your friendship matters more to you. If you are unwilling to change the relationship between you and this guy, then you should stop referring to your best friend as your BEST friend. Because best friends do not back stab eachother. So make the choice, or prepare for the consequences. I may be blunt, but the truth is more blunt and more painful then my words are, so take that to heart. Best of luck.
~Sherah
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Alright, pretty tough situation.
First, you can't make yourself not have feelings for someone. It'll never happen so don't even try it, I promise it's all just a waste of time.
Don't cuddle with this guy at all. What were you thinking when you were doing that anyway? I mean it's one thing to have a crush on your best friend's guy, but you act on those feelings, that's when it gets too far. Even if it's a joke. It shouldn't matter, especially with the fact that you've got a thing for him. It makes you feel happier and it makes it harder for you to accept that this guy is not yours.
What you have to do is stop being so touchy-feely with him. Stop doing anything close with him even if his girlfriend could care less.
-TheTeenGirl
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