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January 24, 2008

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The name's Emily.
First off- thanks for actually reading this!
I love to give advice
I will always try to anwser your questions.
But try to not to rite lk dis
I know my favorite topics says "Love life, nutrition, and friendship", but I'm intrested in tons of stuff. ASK!
I don't care about rating..so be warned...I'm not necessarily always going to give you the anwser that you want to hear. But I do want to help you!
And I would tell you more, but that's not whats important here: let me help you!

peace.

advice

hey, I have a rare and widely unknown disease called interstitial cystitis. If anyone has this disease, PLEASE TELL ME! I don't know anyone else with this disease, and the doctors are shocked that I have it so young, they say that it's usually in people over 40. Thanks :]

Well, I don't have the disease but I'm glad that I heard about it so I can pray for you and others.

This link is to a book about other IC patients and their stories, you should check it out..I'm sure you're not alone.
https://www.ichelp.org/store/shop.cgi?page=Topic10.html#BKMF06

I started using a fake tanner in the past week. It works great and looks natural and real. My question is, can I go outside and sitll sunbathe while I am still using a fake tanner? Becuase I was thinking of this; take a shower in the morning and apply fake tanner. Then later on in the afternoon, I would sunbathe for about 15 minutes on each side, and work it up to 30 min. Is this ok, and will I still be able to tan outside? Thank-you for your advice.

I'm pretty sure that that's ok, as long as the tanner doesn't make you phohosensitive or just reflects even more light on you to the point that you burn.

Ok, here is my problem. I have a group of friends. We all were pretty cool with eachother until this year. One girl was acting annoying etc. etc. and making some huge mistakes. My other friends got made at her and talk about her everytime I come over because they are dissappointed and mad at her because she made mistakes, especially a huge one. I agree with them on some topics, but not on others. The friend who makes mistakes is still my friend...but sometimes she goes and makes a white lie to me every now and then and it makes me uncomfortable. I can not side with her or else I'll lose some of my good friends, but I cant side with them either because I do not agree with everything they are doing. I am being used and pestered by the annoying friend sometimes. I try to talk to her about it....but I never can say the things I want to say right. I need help! What should I do?

--Stuck in the Middle

When you and your friends talk about her behind her back about her mistakes..that's not doing anything to fix them. If you guys are really friends with her then yall should tell her that she is making mistakes. Help her through hard times instead of gossip. That's what you should say to the friends that you don't agree with. Don't side, be nuteral and talk to both parties about how you feel about the issue.

I have a secret crush and she dosent know it, or at least i dont think she does, she has a bf and she really likes him, i have had a crush on her for awhile even before her bf but i had a gf at that time, should i try to go for it or leave her alone?

Leave her alone while she's with someone else, but be a good friend. He probaly won't be around forever.

15 / female / Pennsylvania (if that helps with the things-to-put-in-the-box thing)

Hi, I have a penpal from France. We have been sending letters back and forth, and now I want to send a shoebox of American things.

But what kind of things should I put in it?

So far I have:
American Dollar/quarter/etc.
A magazine
Photos

Yeah, that's it. Pretty sad, I know, but I'm clueless. If you could help me think of ideas, that would be great. And I would like it if the objects would have purpose (not like a pack of stickers or stuffed animals).

Thanks a lot!!

*american candy

*a CD from a band you like

*something from a store they don't have in France (forever 21, american eagle....)

*A t shirt that says a place in the U.S. on it.

eh sorry that's the best I can do when I'm so tired!

Okay soo I'm a 15 year old female. I've been going out with my boyfriend for just over a month now. I love spending time with him! but i see him more as a friend than anything else. When we kiss there just arent any sparks. I'm afraid of hurting him, but i think if i stay with him ill just hurt him more later on... any ideas?

Well, you're right. Leading him on would much worse. The best thing you can do is tell him what you just wrote. Tell him how much you love to be around him and how much you care about him. Don't do it over the phone, email, internet chat, text messages, or through other people, etc. Just tell him in person so that he can see that you sincerly mean it. It'll probaly be akward at first, but if you keep trying things could get comfortable again.

Okay, so, they guy i like, has a girlfriend, but he told me that he liked me and to wait for him. Should i continue to wait for him?

Well, what does that tell you about him? If he would like another girl while he's with someone, then mabye he'd do the same to you.

I've caught my dad in porn and sex chat rooms so many times. Everytime he talks to me its not the same anymore, we used to be sooo close and now i cant even look him straight in the eye anymore. Hes always out of the house, and my mom works at nightt. I went to his work one day he wasnt there, and then a lot of people called the house asking for him. When he got home I asked him where he was at, he said golfing in the morning with the hugest smerk ever it disgusted me and i wanted to just cry. Then i was like what about later he said he was at work. But those people that called me at like 5pm said he wasnt there. Then he always locks his computer, and one day i caught him using a web cam, then i found lub. and a vibrator. He gets home so late on the nights my mom works. What i want to know is what should i do, cause for all i know he's just a guy looking at porn.

You should talk to your mom about this if you think it is an issue. If she doesn't know and you confront your dad then your just giving him a heads up and enough time to hide it all. Mabye she knows about it and it's not a big deal, or mabye she doesn't and really should know. You shoulden't have to feel uncomfortablr like that around your own father. Talk to someone that can keep a secret....but don't do nothing!

Do Nair-type products make hair grow back thicker?

No, I've even heard that they work better than shaving.

Hello. I have an appointment to get my eyebrow pierced tomorrow and a tattoo on my shoulder. I've already decided I was going to get a butterfly tattoo on my shoulder since I have a butterfly tattoo on my lower back. I'm sorta trying to look for more designs though just in case I find something better. I am wanting either something with butterflies, or something with stars and moons. I want a really pretty design. I've been looking soooo much for some nice tattoos. It's hard though cuz I keep finding all these sites where you have to buy the design and download it and everything. I want to just be able to save the picture as it is, so I'll be able to send it to the guy who is doing my tattoo tomorrow. If anyone finds any really nice butterfly or star and moon tattoos that would be good on someone's shoulder, please let me know! I'd really appreciate it. Please answer back asap cuz I don't have much time. I don't want the tattoo to be huge either, but I also don't want it too small. I guess you could say i want it to be medium sized.

I'm sorry, but I have to ask...why would you scar your body like that?

When shaving your legs, are brand new razor or razors that have been used about 1 or 2 times better? Like what type will get the hair off faster and more easier?

The newer razor will always do a better job. It's not as dull as one that's been used longer, so you'll get a better shave!

Alright. So i think i might sort of have a problem. A while ago (this year though) I started kind of cutting myself, but i didnt think of it as cutting. I didnt actually use a knife so i didnt think it was cutting. I just scratched my self w/ something sort of sharp, until i started bleeding. I did it twice the first time, and then the next time three smaller ones, and then the third time one small & one normal one. But their on my arm where a cutter would cut. And i think people think i'm trying to look like i cut, so i havent yet, and even though i'm not planning on doing it again, if i do i'm just gonna do it on my ankles.. But is that really considering cutting anyways? i mean its not like w/ a knife. When i told one of my like good guy friends about it i was bawling, i felt like a disappointment to him (hes sort of like a brother) and i didnt know what to do, i felt like it was a mistake to tell him But he said its better then lying to him. now we like barly talk & our relationship has started to become distant, but i dont know if its all for that reason. i feel stupid for doing it & i feel like the few people that know, judge me because of it. it really is stupid and i know it, and i really dont even know why i do it. Its not like i do it b/c i cant control my anger, but it does help, like instead of freaking out its easier for me to just do this, and then as i do it i think about what happens. But now i have scars, and seriously i'm embarrassed by them. A few people can tell that i cut myself, other people like my sister fool around & like joke & say that it looks like i did, but i just say that i like fell into a fence, and stupid stuff like that. PLEASE HELP ME. i seriously dont know what to do.

Who cares if it's considered cutting or not? Either way you are harming yourself. So, either you have a miserable existence and for some reason want to harm yourself, or you are pretending to be like that for the attention. If it's the first, get help immediently. Try to be strong and positive. Look for the happiness in your life...talk to people about how you are feeling! If it's the second, get a life! Either way, you should tell your friends the truth. Good luck!

15 / Female

Every two weeks I like to go one day with out eating, or skipping a meal. I do not do it to lose weight but I have heard it is good for you ( I still drink water ) and it helps to flush out toxins in your body. Is this true? I regularily eat small meals throughout the day that are healthy and I get usually 2-4 hours of exercise a day. After fasting for a day I continue with my normal eating pattern and I do not try to eat a lot to make up for it.

This is beneficial, right?

No, this is not good. It's never good to deny your body of nutrients. There are other ways to flush out toxins, certian foods do the trick! 2 to 4 hours of exercise a day requires a lot of calories in return, or you aren't doing yourself any good. (And I'm not just talking about the days you fast, you probaly need to start eating larger meals. But keep them healthy) If you burn more calories than you are eating and you don't need to lose weight, you probaly will and that's not good!

First of thanks to anyone who tries to help me. Your not waisting your time as I will rate and give feed back for all advice. Here goes. My husband lives in California, I live in North carolina, he flew down here to marry me and I'm going to live with him in a couple weeks (we lived together before but had to return to nc for custody issues with my daughter from a previous marriage) I am having serious trust issues with him and I don't know why. Every little thing he does, I find something wrong with it and want to start an argument and call it quits. I dont know why I do this, as I love him with all my heart. A couple months ago we broke up and I miscarried, he didnt call me the whole time and i think I have alot of anger torwards him for that. Is there any way to get over this? Please help me. I do want to make this marriage work. p.s. I'm 24, he's 26.

Well I am 14, so mabye my anwser is dumb, but I'll give it a shot.
I think your trust issues come from a previous failure in marriage. You don't want that to happen again, so you worry about what's going on in the relationship. Just try relaxing and finding a different focus in life. Call him and let him know you want to make things better, do something special for him.
However, you are not the only one at fault. Looks like he did wrong too and he owes you an apology. You guys need to get together and have a long talk. Good luck!

Well since it's summer I want to get tan, but the only roblem is I'm not going to the beach once the whoel time! I need to find a quick and fast way to get a dark tan as soon as possible. I don't think I'm going to go to a tanning salon because I can't afford the membership. I had bad past experiences with fake tanners (spray ons and lotions). I live in Pennsylvania too, so it's hard for me to get a good tan by laying outside in the sun. Are there any tanning oils out there that really work, or even fake tanners that last for a long time and turn you a bronze color, not orange or brown! Thanks for the Advice!

Well, tans are bad for you. (okay, I admit..I'm not perfect and I fall to the temptation...but below is a good alternative) Even if you don't get sunburned, a tan is still a scar from sun damage. It might look good now but...Have you noticed how some old ladies have gross brown dots...yeah..sun damage!
Ok so I would suggest Jergins Natural Glow Moisteriser. It doesn't give you orange palms or weird spots. It's defintaly a very pretty bronze, withought a ton of annoying sparkles.

okay, there's this gorgeous boy I know. He's completely flawless, and I have a big thing for him. One of my friends tells me that he actually likes me. Naturally, I was thirlled, but there's on problem: HE WON'T GO OUT WITH ME!! There's a lot going on with him, I guess. I mean we still flirt, hang out, etc., but does this mean I should lay off him in terms of flirting? the things have nothing to do with me [more-so family], but does that mean I should leave him be for now? thanks

Stay a good friend and try to help him through the hard times. Don't press him to date you but don't break the connection, because things will hopefully get better!

hello in 14/f and the thing is that i want to lose some weight off my thighs. like, im totally fine iwht my body except for the fact that my inner thighs are a little blubbery. im 5'7" i weigh 120 lbs and i dance regularly, but i just cant seem to get it off. could you please recommend some exercises or something i could do to fix this problem? id like to lose it by the end of the summer

I would buy a pilaties tape that focuses on the hips and thighs. Pilaties is an exercise simmilar to yoga and I lovee it! You shoult go to your local gym and work out on the leg machines.

What`s the best thing to use for pimples that actualy works? & that I don`t have to orde.

Oh I'm sorry, I missed that part. Umm...all the Clean&Clear brand products work really well!

I got my period about noon July 4. How long should my period last? I usually go a full 7 days. Is there anything to shorten myperiod or make it go faster? I've heard all kinds of things... Doing a lot of standing/jumping, drinking water, exercise, etc. Which of these are true?

I don't think those things are true, and you really need to talk to a gynacologyst. I won't pretend to be an expert..but you shoulden't do anything withought consulting a doctor, or at least your mom. I'm pretty sure only pregenacy and birth control can alter your period.

I defentally need some advise!Ok well theres this guy...i really love him and always have, ever since i knew Kimmy. She is 16 and just recentally moved from Mongolia, so obviously her and her family are oriental. The only problem is the guy im madly in love with is her dad, Sanneybobo. I mean its not like hes married or anything. Well he was. It was just a fling, i know he really digs me! Hes 57 and i am 16. Do you think its too much of an age diffrence or will the love we both share for each other shine trough? Please tell me what you think!

Ok. BACK OUT OF THIS NOW! I think that age difference is ridiculously to big. It's huge...I want to throw up just thinking about this. If he is really showing intrest then most likley he is not a good man and could try to make you do something you don't want to do. If he gives any signs (flirting, touching, anything that makes you uncomfortable) then tell someone before something bad happens. If you seriously want him, get mental help! Only bad things could come from that. Also, he might not really like you, and you should not give him any reason to think you like him. Just leave it be.

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