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at my daughters schools from 6th -10th grade, in PE she attends the swim unit and boys and girls have
it together? Why is this allowed? Wouldn't this make girls feel uncomfortable
and give boys an opportunity to harass and humiliate girls? And cause
distractions and goofing off among everybdy? Not to mention young boys will be around girls shirtless which I think is inappropriate for young girls to be around of.
My daughter keeps saying she does not care but she is young and may not understand how wrong this is
this just seems wrong especially at school.You are at school to LEARN. Not to
goof off. Like it or not swimming is a class to workout and learn. Can't really
do that well with young boys and girls together. How can schools be so clueless?
can people really say honestly that young boys and girls will concentrate on swimming while they are around each other in bathing suits and not goof off? That boys (who arent known for sensitivity) won't use this opportunity to harass or tease girls? Seems kind of like a naive way of thinking to me (link)
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I think that if it is a problem for your daughter, then you should be concerned and bring it to the school's attention. But your daughter said she didn't care. That means no boys are harassing or teasing her. She learning just fine without the class beu=ing separated by gender.
And another thing: KIDS ARE KIDS. They're supposed to goof around and joke. It's your job as a parent to trust that you've put your son or daughter in the capable hands of a teacher who will stop everything if anybody goes over the line of appropriate and inappropriate school conduct. Also, some of these kids are starting to go through puberty so it's should be understandable that they might make a few jokes here and there. As an adult you should not try to mess with the natural order of things. Just LET THE KIDS BE KIDS.
I hope this helps.
~Andrew~
P.S: Not every boy is insensitive towards girls.
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Hi im a 15 year old guy from London.i barely know this girl but i really like her!she knows i want to get with her and at a party last night she said she didnt really want to but might another time.the main reason i like her is that at our age all our friends go out and get drunk every week..but she refuses to because she'll regret it later in life.i have so much respect for her because i dont drink either and the pressure is crazy especially for girls.she seems really down to earth and has the nicest eyes ive ever seen(like mila kunis).i really want to go out with her and if i did i would let her know how smart,brave and beaytiful she is...all i want to know is how to get her to like me back? I would be the best boyfriend ever (link)
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If you want her to like you, then you need to be honest with her and JUST BE YOURSELF.
That's really all you need to know.
Good Luck.
~Andrew~
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How can I pretend to be a virgin around my mom and dad?
I am afraid that they will find out
(link)
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Whenever you start trying to pretend about something, that's when it's time to TELL THE TRUTH. Most parents don't care about their children having sex as long as they are being safe and at least 17 or 18, but judging from your question I guess that's not your case.
Just tell them the truth. I don't know if the outcome is going to be good or bad, but I know that PRETENDING=LYING and LYING=BIG TROUBLE. So just tell the truth.
I hope this helps.
~Andrew~
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im a 13 year old girl me and my best friend have been bffs since 4th grade and she knows that i say stupid things without thinking like alot but she still gets really mad like i kissed her boyfriend pissed off at me when it has happened so many times before she sohuld know that i dont mean it why is she still getting mad after all these years (link)
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She gets upset because her boyfriend is her boyfriend and she wants you to KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF. What if you had a boyfriend and everytime you guys went out with your friends, he and your best friend would end up making out with eachother? Put yourself in her shoes and think about how you would feel if that was you.
I think that your friend gets upset because her boyfriend is supposed to belong to her. I may be a guy but I'm sure that girls don't share their boyfriends. So the next time you get the urge to kiss him, DON'T DO IT! HE IS NOT YOURS. If you want someone to kiss go get your own boyfriend.
I hope this helps.
~Andrew~
P.S: If your best friend's boyfriend keeps letting you kiss him, then your friend should be a little suspicious. I'm just saying.
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I feel lone (link)
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Can you add some more details to your question because I'm not sure how to answer it.
Thank You.
~Andrew~
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I'm a junior in high school, all my life I went to a private school until I left in the middle of 10th grade because I was being bullied there. Things are way better at public school. The only problem is it is really hard for me to actually get up and go to school, When my alarm clock goes off and wakes me up I notice I feel worthless, I think this is mainly because I don't really have any best friends and no one would even notice if I came to school or not. I have friends that are more like acquaintances, its really hard for me to make friends because I'm so shy. I noticed I do things to try to motivate me to go to school like dye my hair or pierce my lip to make me feel more excited that something has changed the way I look, It's not the healthiest thing and I know that because I've been considering getting a tattoo as my next motivation to get me out of bed in the morning and I'm scared things like that are going to get out of hand. I've been to counseling for depression but that didn't help, it made me more depressed and now I hate counselors. The only time I don't feel worthless is on the weekends when I can hangout with my best friend who doesn't go to my school and I think that's what gets me through the week knowing I will see her on the weekend. For some reason on the days I can sleep in I don't feel worthless whish seems really weird to me? But I was wondering if anyone else has ever felt this way? What should I do? (link)
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Well I'm glad you came to us and to answer your question I have felt like this before. I'm a junior in high school as well and I still feel that way sometimes.
But getting tattoos and piercings won't help because what you're doing is hiding who you really are. When you go to school, you have to go as you are and not as someone you're not. I try to remind myself of this everyday that my life is my life and if it was meant to be different then I would change it for myself and nobody else.
YOU ARE SPECIAL! Everyone has something they're good at. You just need to find what you like to do and DO IT.
Now about making friends. To this day I am still very shy. But you have to take a risk and put yourself out there. Join some clubs that you are interested in. If you ever want people to notice you, you have to take down those walls that you built up and let people SEE and KNOW who YOU ARE!
I hope this helps.
~Andrew~
P.S: And remember, no one can make you feel inferior. DON'T EVER LET ANYONE'S WORDS GET YOU DOWN.
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Hi,
I have a past situation that still bugs me from time to time & I would appreciate a non judgemental outsiders advice who can step into both shoes please.
There is a long story to this situation, over about 4 years long but the same question remains...Do I tell my partner the whole truth about the situation or continue with him knowing parts or most of the truth, leave it in the past, let it go & move on?
I have been with my partner for 10 years (with a few breaks in between). He was around when this went on & does know a lot about it yet there are parts that I blocked out, feared revealing, were too painful, regretted, was a different person at the time & or traumatised by. Needless to say, certain parts have come back or are clearer now.
I am not fully sure why it comes back to bug me except that it is a part of my past I am ashamed of, the whole truth of it has not been disclosed to anyone, fear of always being defined as the black sheep in the family, no one understands, will I now lose my partner, if I do tell will it really make me feel better & improve our relationship?
I realise this is a grey area & that is why I get so caught up in the whole thing. Do I tell or don't I? I have bit my lip a few times plus started to say more about it then stopped, changed the subject or brushed it off but I am also sick of swallowing it back down, feeling caught in the web, letting it affect my soul & have it return.
We try to tell each other everything. We are normally great communicators. He has been my rock & is a wonderful man. This is something that stops me feel honestly worthy of his love & I believe creates distance between us (from my part) that I do not want us to have. We are looking at getting engaged/married & starting a family soon.
Is it something I must get over & leave alone or it is to be fully shared in hope it does bring us closer after the possible tears & hurt?
Thanks in advance!
(link)
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Well I am a firm believer in "THE TRUTH" and if there is one thing I know from experience is that the truth will SET YOU FREE. I mean it! It actually will set you free.
Now that doesn't mean that the outcome will be good or bad. It just means that if you tell your partner, this weight that you have been carrying for these past years will be lifted. I don't know your situation, but one thing that I know from experience is that all things will work out for your good. So whatever happens, happens.
But this is still your decision.
I hope this helps.
~Andrew~
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Do u think its ok to trust a guy that was once a guy mistress? (link)
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What do you mean by a guy mistress? Do you mean he was a male escort? If so, from what you told me it seems like he's trying to change. You said he was once a guy mistress which infers that he is no longer a guy mistress.
Usually men and women are only escorts, mistresses, etc. for money. I'm sure most of them don't do it for fun.
So to answer your question, and I'm guessing that maybe you like this guy, what does your heart say? Do you really like/love this guy? If so, then you should trust him. If you have a really bad feeling from this guy then maybe you should take things slow.
But this is your decision.
I hope this helps.
~Andrew~
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is making a comment such a big deal that people have to go and make a fuss to someone and cause trouble for her? it is not like she is groping her students or something (link)
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You're right. She isn't groping her students, but because she is a teacher, adults hold her to high standards and expect her not to make comments about how good looking her male students are. If the guys were wearing clothes and she called them handsome, she still could get in trouble but not as much as she could get in trouble now because the guys were shirtless.
In the eyes of adults and other professional teachers, the comment she made could possibly be considered as sexual harrassment.
My point is, if a student didn't like what she said and they decided to report it to the pricipal or vice principal, she would be in trouble, even if you and your friends didn't mind. And if a teacher was around and heard her say that then that teacher, by law, would have to report her.
I'm in highschool myself and the teachers at my school are very careful and aware of what they say. There is a line between Teachers and Students and making sexual comments to a student is crossing that line.
I hope this helped.
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I'm scared my parents fight a lot and I'm the oldest of three kids ( my 8 year old sister and my 4 year old brother) I'm supposed to comfort them but I don't know how to calm my sisters fears without her knowing mine I want to be there for them but I can't do that without crying myself what should I do? (link)
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You should talk to your parents and let them know how you feel. If my parents were arguing all the time and there was physical abuse involved, then I would let them know that what they are doing is affecting me and my siblings.
I hope this helps.
~Andrew~
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so I have this gym teacher in high school who is young, (younger than 30 I think) really pretty and good looking and red headed (I love red heads) and she teaches gym and Health and so we are doing the swimming unit and while in the pool she was walking around and she then said to me and some of my friends later that she likes the swimming unit the most because she likes to look at all the boys without their shirts on in the water and it gives her lots to look at. I honestly have zero problem with what she said, but if some kid who was around me heard it decides to go and cry to someone about it, will she get in trouble?
(link)
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It's not crying or "tattling" because some kids wouldn't be okay with that comment. But to answer your question, yes she would get in a lot of trouble only because teachers aren't supposed to say those kinds of things to their students or minors in general.
~Andrew~
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Looking for a fast and easy way to hurt myself .. wanting attention and/ or to end up in the hospital.. this is the only thing i can think of, i've tried messing up my kidneys and bladder i have tried cutting i have tried beating my head till it bleeds ...nothing..
(link)
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Instead of harming yourself, you need to talk to someone. If you are feeling neglected, TELL SOMEBODY. Don't hurt yourself over something you could have solved with your words.
Think about what I said.
~Andrew~
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hello, my name is Sam. Im 13 almost 14 year old guy. There is this girl on my swim team and i really liked her. I asked her out and she told me it was wrong timing, because she had just broken up with her boyfriend. I told her that that was fine. I gave her some time and about 3 weeks later i asked her again. She said no. Again because she wasnt ready. Then i asked her if she reslly meant that, or if it was just an easy way of "putting me down" she said honestly a little bit of both. Well then she told me later that she likes a guy in my grade (shes one year below me) and asked me if we could just be friends. Honestly.... I dont want to be friends anymore. I want to show her that i am better than him. And i dont know what I should do. (link)
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If she wants to be friends with you, then let her be friends with you. I'm sorry if this isn't what you wanted to hear but she said NO and you have to respect her wishes. And besides, what if something happened and she needed the support of a friend? Would she be able to depend on you, or would you bail on her because she wouldn't be your girlfriend?
SHE IS NOT THE ONLY GIRL IN THE WORLD. There are plenty of others girls who would love to be your girlfriend.
I hope this helped.
~Andrew~
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This is the 2 time I've been posting on this board and to be honest things haven't gotten better they've just gotten worse. I would post the other question but I don't want an ip bann.
At this point I just feel like giving up on this dump I call a life. Schools trash, all I see when I go to school is 3 things druggies, rich kids, smart kids. I at this point just keep to myself and try not to talk much and this is really affecting me in a negative way as I can't get help from any classmates and ussually end up doing long heavy work enducing projects meant for 2 alone. And this comes back to the point that I just feel like giving up. I've missed almost 22 days of school just because of stupid fights at home and if im late 12 more times or miss school 2 more days I fail the 9th grade. Pressures stacking and I just can't do this. My school counselor messed up my schedule and now because of that I have to take classes next year with kids younger than me and I can't even take any fun/semi-interesting classes with my friends. My grades aren't bad most are A's with the exception of 2 f's i got last quarter because of a bad teacher and once again not doing projects because of the ammount of work. I tried telling my parent but to no surprise they don't listen and compare to my sisters or other kids. I just want to say to hell with this and just sleep an eternity away. Overall schools terrible, homelifes crap and I honestly don't even feel the need to do this shit anymore. Rage is bottled up inside and I feel like one day im just going to snap and hurt someone. I need help but I have no one to turn to, no one. Please help me, I can't continue this anymore... (link)
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Well I'm glad that you decided to come talk to us. I know how hard highschool can be because I'm a junior. I may not be going through what you're going through but trust me, when you hit junior year that's when you start planning for college and scholarships and what not but back to you.
Just because life is hard doesn't mean you should give up on it. I know how you feel. It's hard to be yourself and open up and talk to people, but THERE IS NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF. Nobody can make you feel inferior. Highschool is where you are supposed to realize that in real life, the world isn't always going to hand you what you want so you have to get it for yourself.
If you're so angry that you might hurt someone then you need to talk to somebody. You can't go through life not trusting anybody.
All I'm trying to say is that if you want to change and you want to make friends, then you need to reach out and open up to people. Maybe things will change in a couple of days or maybe they won't, but you have to try. Put yourself out there and START LETTING PEOPLE IN. Let them get to know who you are.
I hope this helped.
~Andrew~
P.S: Don't give up on life!
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M/17. It's been getting very stressful. During like the 1st 3 years of HS, I planned to just go to college for engineering. In 10th grade me and my best friend started playing guitar. We practiced alot and we love it. And now that I'm finally about to be free of academic work, projects, deadlines, and stupid grades of judgement, everyone wants/expects me to go to college, and I think I'm changing my mind. My friend and I have met people who want to do music too, and we want to start a full band. I cannot fathom how much I want to do this. I understand and have heard that its hard to make a living playing in a band. But if the opportunity is always there, why should I just give up? I haven't even graduated yet and I'm always getting lectures and being criticised. I'm tired of doing what everyone else wants me to do. I hated HS, what makes them think I'll enjoy ANOTHER 4 years of blackmail and crap?? It pisses me off cause I know for a fact that if I just told my family Fk college, I'm going to do what I want (link)
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I think the idea of you wanting to do what you love is great. That's what high school is all about. I'm in my junior year of high school and I have my whole future semi-planned out. But you know that you can study music in college too. Just think about it. With all the skills you have now and add that to what you could learn in college by majoring in music? You could be great.
I'm not here to say that you need to go to college because that is your decision. But you should really think about this very carefully because there are a lot of people who had a chance to go to college and didn't and now they're filled with regrets or worse. Wouldn't you like to have a degree in music or something like that? Not going to college at all would close a lot of doors and opportunities for you in the future.
Just make sure what you decide is what you want to do. But don't automatically say you're not going to college. Actually think about this and then make a decision.
Good Luck and I hope this helps.
~Andrew~
P.S: Don't lose your dreams.
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pretty much all my friends have boyfriends & i feel so alone & i wanna boyfriend. i've had things with guys but never actually had a boyfriend. what should i do?
my friend might sleepver friday & i wanna look for guys or somethin
melissa (17 female) (link)
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You shouldn't try to get a boyfriend just because you want to have a guy on your arm. You need to make sure that if you do get involved with a guy that it is because you actually like him not because you want to show him off to your friends like a toy. We may not show it all the time but guys do have feelings and emotions to so be aware of that.
Basically what I'm saying is that it's ok to date and look for a boyfriend, just make sure it's for the right reasons.
I hope this helps.
~Andrew~
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You may want to check the question, "my wife says she wants to sleep with other men" for the details leading up to this question. I told my wife "NO!" I told her that I loved her dearly and could not stomach the thought of her with another man. Additionally, I was thinking of our kids and careers with this response. Kids have to go to school with their friends and the black guy in question is one of their teachers. My wife also teaches in the same building. I am a principal in another building in the same district. Now my wife tells me that she is also thinking of our kids and careers and that I need to say "YES" because she was the woman that she described as having the affair with this black guy. Now she pees on a stick and tells me she is approaching 8 weeks pregnant and will soon start to show. My wife and I decided that I would have a vasectomy years ago after our last son was born. So, there is little question who the father will be. She thinks that there will be scandle if I do not stay with her. It is also likely that all three of us will lose our jobs and our careers might not recover from this. I see my only chance to salvage my career is to go public and cut ties with her. She obviously wasn't thinking of me when she was with him. Problem is I still love her and she tells me that she still loves me and that it was just sex with no emotional ties or commitment. Additionally, the kids are the victims no matter what I do. I am very torn about how I should handle this. On one hand I have always loved her very much and I love my kids and on the other hand I am very hurt! A marriage is based on love and trust. How can I ever trust her again? I know others have been where I am. Please, I am open to suggestions.
Additional Details
The make-up sex has been great. She has been after me like a newly wed. I still love her and love sex with her but the cheating and I the whole time that I am making love to her I cannot get the image of another man crawling all over my wife out of my head. Does that image ever go away?
2 days ago
Am I a bad person? I love having all the recent sex with my wife. She is very horny now. She says that I am her husband and that I am the one she loves. She insists on staying together; but, I am starting divorce proceedings. She won't give him up and wants me to come watch their meeting tomorrow after school. She thinks that if I see her with him that I would understand their relationship.Whether I come watch or not, whether I approve or not she is going to meet him. Then she wants to come home to me with loads of him inside her and screw me all night. The thought makes me very horny and repulses me at the same time. About the child, he told my wife to get an abortion. He wants nothing to do with fatherhood and raising a child. He told my wife that he is just in it for the sex! It is amazing to me how a woman with a Bachelor's and Master's degree can be so dumb! She keeps going back to him drooling like a puppy that has been beaten. What the hell does she see in him? If we stay together, my wife plans that at the end of the school year she will only be 5 months pregnant. She will tell everyone that she had a miscarriage and she wants to get away for a while.Which at her age is reasonable. Then she will have the baby in another city and return for next school year telling everyone that after losing her baby we decided to adopt. Thus explaining the interracial child. She is sneaky and has given this a lot of thought. One of my biggest fears is if I have the courage to divorce her what will I do for sex. I don't see myself being celibate The bar scene is not for me. And I don't see myself being satisfied masturbating to internet porn. I mean, I will be divorced, mid 40's and within spitting distance of 50, balding and 15-20 pounds overweight, who would want to be with me? I am only tall when I am standing on my wallet which I am sure lawyers, court fees, divorce, and child support will greatly reduce. So now what? (link)
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I'm only 16 so I'm not going to talk about the divorce because that is your decision. But what I will say is that SEX IS NOT EVERYTHING. Also, THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS EMOTIONLESS SEX. It's just not possible. Your wife is pregnant! THAT'S NOT EMOTIONLESS.
I don't know if I'm grasping at nothing or not when I say this, but throughout your whole question you said that your wife was having sex with you like a newlywed. You never once said that she made love to you. You always said sex.
And I could be wrong, but to me there is a difference between making love and having sex. I'm young but I'm not dumb. Love involves two people who love eachother, who complete eachother, who sacrifice for eachother and who have a well established emotional connection with eachother. Sex is when two people want to feel good and get on with the rest of their life. I don't mean to sound preachy but when God gave man sex, he intended for it to be a sacred act between two people who are in love spiritually, emotionally, and physically.
And the fact that you feel you need money to be attractive is sad. The kind of women you want is someone who is going to be by your side through the good and the bad, not some floozy who is just going to stick around as long as you're financing her shopping sprees and hair appointments. If you feel unattraction physically, then go to the gym. If not, then be confident in who you are. And remember sex is not everything. If you don't believe me, look at what you got out of it: A wife who wants to have sex with all the time and with her lover from work all the time and a son that is probably not yours.
After just reading that you should realize that sex hasn't done you any favors.
And before I go I just want to tell you that I would not want a wife who wants me but wants some arm candy on the side. She would have to love me with her whole heart and I the same. Just thought I should say that.
I hope this has helped you.
~Andrew~
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Hey im a 15 year old boy from London.my family go away on holiday with 3 other families every year.i get along well with a girl my age in one of the families.i just broke up with my girlfriend cus she had kissed another guy and this friend was really there to help me.shes decent looking and fun to be around,so i am thinking of startin something with her or at least trying to,BUT if things dont work out(which they usually dont at 15) everything will be very awkward.also if our families find out it would be very embarrassing.i cant stop thinking about her so any advice would be appreciated!i just feel lonely since i broke up with my girlfriend and it would be nice to feel wanted by another girl:) (link)
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I think if you really genuinely like her, then you should go for it. But don't date her because you feel that you need to have a girl on your arm. Be respectful and be a gentleman. And take things slow. Don't try to rush anything.
I hope this helps.
~Andrew~
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I have a huge crush on my math teacher, she is young and extremely hot and I like her personality. She is 28 and I am 17. Unlike other sissies, I went and told my teacher at the end last year my attraction to her and how she is the girl of my dreams. She said "Come back when you're 18 and graduated" that must mean she was willing to go out with me after I graduate! I was so excited, but now, just six months or so before I graduate, I find out she has a boyfriend! What? , I am so sad and angry and jealous now, I feel sick. She might as well have stabbed me, it would have hurt less. Why would she trick and betray me like this? (link)
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She wasn't trying to lead you on.
She probably assumed that you would eventually move on and forget about her. She didn't want to entirely crush your dreams.
But you need to realize, SHE IS AN ADULT and YOU ARE A TEENAGER. I know that's not what you wanted to hear but it's the truth.
There are plenty of girls your age that you would like.
You should really tell an adult that you trust about what you are feeling.
I hope this helps.
~Andrew~
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I am 13 years old and all my friends make fun of me because ive never had my first kiss. I go out with a 14 year old and we have talked about it but were to nervous to do anything. All weve done is kiss on the cheek and thats nothing! How do i get him to kiss me? (link)
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You shouldn't feel the need to kiss your boyfriend because your friends say so. You should live your relationship the way you want too.
But if you really do want to have your first kiss with your boyfriend, then you make the first move. You don't always have to rely on the guy to make all the decisions.
I hope this helps.
~Andrew~
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