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My teacher betrayed me. Why would she do this?
I have a huge crush on my math teacher, she is young and extremely hot and I like her personality. She is 28 and I am 17. Unlike other sissies, I went and told my teacher at the end last year my attraction to her and how she is the girl of my dreams. She said "Come back when you're 18 and graduated" that must mean she was willing to go out with me after I graduate! I was so excited, but now, just six months or so before I graduate, I find out she has a boyfriend! What? , I am so sad and angry and jealous now, I feel sick. She might as well have stabbed me, it would have hurt less. Why would she trick and betray me like this?
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It was a JOKE! She took your comment in that light knowing full well your age and hers and that no such relationship could EVER happen at that time or in the future even if 18. You however, took this as literal when it wasn't. She didn't betray you.
What you MUST understand is that your lust for her then was fantasy and technically okay so as long as you never made it into reality. It's the same thing now as an adult. It's a fantasy and lust and you have NO shot of that with her now as you did when a kid. She never lead you on. She made a remark meant as a joke and that's all.
She's always been entitled to be married or with whomever and has no obligation to you nor has she betrayed you. If unable to see that as the truth it may be a good idea to tell a therapist this thing with your teacher as it's NOT a normal way to be thinking.
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She didn't mean to lead you on. She was being kind, perhaps trying to be funny to laugh off the situation. She probably thought you'd grow out of your crush, a didn't take you entirely seriously.
You are right - she should have just told you no straight up.
But, she probably didn't want you to feel too rejected.
She was not interested. She was very, very, very unlikely to date you when you turned 18. She probably would have been shocked and uncomfortable if you had actually asked her out again.
This is for the best. Your obsession with her was not normal or healthy. Feel as bad as you need too, but recognize she did nothing wrong. She wasn't going to date you now, and she probably wasn't going to date you when you turned 18 - and even if she was - she had every right to date others, even fall in love and get married, between then and now.
You don't own her, and she didn't owe you anything. She did the kindest thing she could do - she said no and tried not to embarrass you.
Let it go. She was never the one for you.
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She wasn't trying to lead you on.
She probably assumed that you would eventually move on and forget about her. She didn't want to entirely crush your dreams.
But you need to realize, SHE IS AN ADULT and YOU ARE A TEENAGER. I know that's not what you wanted to hear but it's the truth.
There are plenty of girls your age that you would like.
You should really tell an adult that you trust about what you are feeling.
I hope this helps.
~Andrew~
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