I'm scared my parents fight a lot and I'm the oldest of three kids ( my 8 year old sister and my 4 year old brother) I'm supposed to comfort them but I don't know how to calm my sisters fears without her knowing mine I want to be there for them but I can't do that without crying myself what should I do?
Additional info, added Friday February 1 2013, 11:43 pm: It's not in the area where they hit but where they threaten for divorce and I can't lose my family so yeah and it scares me because me and my sister have already been through this and we don't want our younger brother going through this and It's hard that's why it scares me. Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Families? lightoftruth answered Sunday February 3 2013, 6:08 am: There are many kids that go through this situation. This happened to me when I was younger.
When this happens, just go do something with your siblings. Color, play a game, do something to distract yourself.
Later when things cool off, you need to talk to your parents and tell them how you're feeling.
Parents fight, adults fight, girlfriends and boyfriends fight. It's not good at all, but it does happen. So just stay strong and know that your parents are going through a hard time as well. When people fight, it effects everyone but I'm sure they're so consumed on how they are feeling that they don't realize you're listening to them.
Just go talk to them and tell them how you're feeling. [ lightoftruth's advice column | Ask lightoftruth A Question ]
Drewb13 answered Saturday February 2 2013, 9:52 pm: You should talk to your parents and let them know how you feel. If my parents were arguing all the time and there was physical abuse involved, then I would let them know that what they are doing is affecting me and my siblings.
Manulo answered Saturday February 2 2013, 11:41 am: It's never easy having to hear parents argue and yell at each other. It's also not easy being strong but the fact that you are being there for your sister and brother speaks volumes of strength about you. Don't let the negative aspects of what your parents are doing make you feel that you will not be a family. No matter what you and your siblings will ALWAYS be a family. What you need is to find that strength in yourself and know that no matter what happens you and your sister and brother will be fine. Never doubt yourself and never let anyone tell you differently. As you continue to find that strength it will sooth the pain and fears that your sister and brother are feeling because they will look to you and see that strength and know that no matter what it will be ok. [ Manulo's advice column | Ask Manulo A Question ]
adviceman49 answered Saturday February 2 2013, 10:55 am: I am sorry you have been placed in this position. I would much rather reach out and put my arms around you and your siblings to hold you close and comfort you then be trying to suggest ways to help you.
It is unfortunate but we adults do fight and in the heat of arguments we will say things that we may not really mean. I can't say that your parents will or will not divorce I don't know them and I do not know what they are arguing over. There are a couple of things that you might try to make life at home for you and your siblings more comfortable.
One is to try talking to whichever parent you feel closer to. Tell mom or dad what their fighting is doing to you and your siblings. Tell them how scared it makes all of you and how you end up crying.
You can also tell them you wrote to us for advise as to what to do to help them. That we suggested that you ask them to get family marriage counselling for whatever is bothering them and that you and your siblings can tell the therapist how scared you all are when they fight.
The second thing you can do if you feel you cannot talk to either one of your parents is to talk to a trusted teacher of your school principal. Tell them what is happening at home and how it makes you and your siblings feel.
Your teacher and principal are not only there to educate you but to see to your well being as well. If this means they need to ask your parents to come to school to talk about your home life they will do so.
As I said in the beginning parent do argue and when they do they do not always mean what they say in the heat of the moment. If there arguing is scaring you and you can't talk to them about it then you have your teachers and principal to talk to or you could try talking to an Aunt or Uncle or possibly your grandparent. I'm sure one of them would be more than willing once they know what is going on to try and help your parents and you kids.
ch3mistry answered Friday February 1 2013, 11:36 pm: hey,
whetherits in a violent way they fight or a verbal way, you should keep yourselves all away from them.you are obviously scared of them and withyou trying calm your siblings it won't be easy. have you ever thought of calling another close family member to get away or if its violent please call your local aurthority. its not right for you to be scared. hope this helps [ ch3mistry's advice column | Ask ch3mistry A Question ]
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