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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

I need help with writing a letter to some well meaning individuals for financial assistance towards the deplorable condition of a road in the area I live in.

Unless this is a private road you do not need financial assistance to repair it. All roads in a town or County, unless it is a state highway, are the responsibility of the town or county to repair and maintain. Your tax dollars pay for the maintenance of roads.

The street I live on is considered a low priority street meaning it is the last to be plowed of snow and the last to paved when they repave streets. The last two times they repaved the streets in this area they bypassed our street. A simple email to our County Councilman was all it took to have our street paved and to have the snow plows remember to plow us out when it snows.

What I suggest is you find out who is your town or county council representatives are and send them an email explaining that the street in question is in deplorable condition. You could include photo's if you wish as well.

If this road is a private road say in a condo association; I would still write the councilmen and ask for help. Remind them you do pay road maintenance taxes and the community doesn't have the funds to fix the road. It is an election year for most of the country and your community represents votes so they may be willing to fix the road in hopes of gaining your communities votes.

Hi there. I'm a 25 year old female and I'm a second grade teacher. To make a long story short... when I was in college, there were two tracks to becoming a teacher. One was called the "internship track" and the other was called the "developmental track." Basically, the internship provided student-teaching opportunity and you couldn't graduate unless you passed the teacher licensure exam. With the internship track, you were responsible for finding your own experience and you you didn't need the licensure to graduate (although you will need it in order to teach in the state you are living in). I live in Florida. So, if someone lived in Texas, for instance, and had to take a different exam to become employed, then it would be in their best interest to take the development track because if not, they would have to take two different exams: the florida one (to graduate) and then the Texas one (to work). I decided on the development track because I had a full time job, as an assistant teacher, and didn't really need the internship. But, I am still faced with having to take the license exam. As an assistant, I didn't need it. Then, I took a job in the university because it paid for my master's degree. So, this is my first year as a full time, lead teacher. I got a job in a private school because I am taking my license exam in December. The private school didn't require the license, just my degree and obviously, a background check. It's a very small classroom of 5 children. I use to have a classroom of 26 when I was an assistant. Often times, I was left alone with them... but, they were not as difficult.

Since I teach second grade, I use a lot of visuals and manipulatives. I have one student who is autistic. He has a therapist that comes to work with him for abut 3 hours of the ay (in the morning). I've really grown to love all the kids. He, especially! He's so so sweet. He's very loving and he's one of the most adorable children I've ever seen. But, there is a problem. Once, the therapist leaves, he usually has raging outbursts. By this, I mean that he starts throwing classroom furniture. One time, he came up to the front of the classroom and hit me. On another occasion, he took out a pair of scissors and started cutting his books. Now, I have been able to control him. I am perfectly capable of handling the situation. The problem is that handling it always comes at the expense of the other students. Every time that he has an outburst, I have to stop the lesson and handle the situation. I've been told by the therapist and his mother to ignore the outbursts. But, that is impossible when the safety of other students is at risk (such as when he is throwing furniture). It's also an issue when he walks up to the front of the room to slap me in the middle of a lesson. His mother told me that she would like if during math, since he usually completes the work with the therapist, I would give him language arts work. But, he does not sit still. If I give him language arts work during this time, I would have to sit alongside him while he does it. This would be fine if I had an assistant or resources provided to special education schools. But, I don't.There have been incidents where he runs away from the class. He rarely listens when is told to stop going ahead of the class. During the PE (I was not there), the teacher found him sitting under a tree in the parking lot. His teacher from last year told me that if you chase him, it is worse. He will run away. When she had him, the therapist was with him the whole day. I have worked with autistic children before. But, they fell on different areas of the spectrum. I really love this little boy. But, this is not the environment for him. He doesn't do well sitting all day. He needs to be in a place where he's allowed to learn on his own terms. However, the school would never tell them that because it's a private school and they need his tuition money in their pockets. Clearly, I can't be the one to say it. But, I need help here. By next year, I will be in a different school and hopefully, I'll be moving out of the city. Can someone please help me with what I can do in the meantime? Has anyone ever experienced something like this?

I am not a teacher and I have not worked with special needs students. I am a parent who has entrusted my child to a school system just as the parents of the other four students have. You are responsible for their safety as well as his and yours.

What you are not responsible for is the financial well being of the school you are employed by. They have administrators employed with that responsibility.

If in one of these outburst he was to injure one of the other students you and the school could be held liable for their injuries. His parents and the parents of the other students have not only entrusted you with educating their children they have done so with the knowledge that you will keep them safe. If yours is a mainstream classroom then he does not belong their. If yours is a special education classroom then you should have an assistant.

My niece is a special education teacher in the Nevada public school system. Her class size varies from 2 to 6 children and she has at least one if not two assistant teachers depending on the class size and the types of disabilities of her students.

My advice to you is; If you are not employed as a special education teacher that you advise the administration of the school that this child needs to be removed from your class as he is a danger to the other children. Do so in writing and make a dated copy for yourself.

If you are a special education teacher then you again inform the administration in writing that this child is a danger to the other children and they either remove him from your classroom or provide an assistant teacher to provide the special instruction he needs while you teach the other students.

School administrators be they public or private look only at the bottom line. You must watch out for yourself and your students. This is your first job and they will take advantage of you if you let them. You must stand up for yourself first and the children second. For in the end if one of the students is hurt by this child the school system will dump it all over you. Send that letter today and send it through the postal system return receipt requested so you know they received it.

Should the school not acknowledge you in anyway or refuse to assist you or remove the child. Then I would suggest contacting a lawyer to see what your options are as well as protecting yourself. For as sure as you are reading this before school ends something is going to happen and you are going to be blamed which could end your career.

Is it normal to subconsciously convince yourself that everything negative that you feel is just made up?

I'm a recovering self-harmer and have been since December 2015. Every single time after I relapse or have a bad day, a little voice in the back of my head always says things like: 'You're just pretending to be sad for attention' or 'If you were actually ever sick, how can you be okay again after a while? See? You're just making it all up and exaggerating everything' or at least something along those lines. Does this happen to anyone else? And does anyone know why this happens?

While I generally agree with Dragonflymagic's advice this case is an exception. C.B.T. is not for everyone you have to let the doctor decide what therapy is best for you. Hearing voices at times is just us giving voice to our own thoughts. At other time it is more serious and requires different therapy. Because of this you have to be absolutely honest with the psychologist or psychiatrist you are seeing.

If you are not presently seeing one of those two doctors than you need to start seeing one and I suggest you start with a psychiatrist as in many states if medication is indicated only they being medical doctors can prescribe. Then you go to a psychologist for talk therapy.

Since you are 15 years old you are going to need to have a parent make the first appointments which means talking with mom or dad or both and tell them about the voices. As to see someone both the psychiatrist and the psychologist are covered or should be covered under their health insurance and employer EAP programs.

As I said it is sometimes okay to hear voices. It depends on what the voices say or tell you that makes the difference. This is why you need to see someone and talk about what the voices are saying.

I am a 14 year old female and this is my story (apologies for uncertain details as this happened a long time ago and I can't remember much about it). I'd like to start by saying both my parents are good people, my mum is one of the kindest people you will ever meet and my dad can be strict, but he means well and loves me lots. Both my parents care about me a great deal and would never intentionally hurt me. As a young child I used to wet the bed fairly frequently and get nightmares a lot, so I would sleep in my parents bed often to make me feel safe and to be able to sleep peacefully. Now I think I was about 5 or 6 when this happened. I'm not entirely sure why I wanted to sleep in my parents bed this night, but I'm pretty sure it was because I wet my bed. It was about the middle of the night when I woke my mum up requesting to sleep in her bed, and she complied and went to sleep on the sofa (I think to have more room to sleep). My dad is a deep sleeper and wasn't conscious when this was happening. ((Warning next part gets a bit graphic)) At some point in the night my dad started putting his penis in between my legs and rubbing it on my genitals. I'm pretty sure I didn't have any bottoms on from where I'd wet myself, but I might have. I don't think he penetrated me, but my memory is a bit hazy but I know his penis was definitely moving I between my legs. I was young and didn't understand that what was going on was wrong, for some reason I liked the feeling and not knowing anything about sex or incest I let him continue. I believe I fell asleep with his penis still between my legs. My dad obviously thought I was my mum because he wasn't aware we'd switched, and in a half asleep state was trying to be intimate with what he thought was his wife. His eyes weren't open when he was doing this so he didn't see it was me. When I woke up again in the same position part of me knew what had happened was wrong, but still not understanding the situation. I carefully detached myself from my dad and bolted out of the room. I thought I was going to get in trouble, so that's why I left. A few minuets later my dad came into my room asking where mum had gone. I told him she had gone to sleep on the sofa (but I didn't say I slept in their bed as to avoid 'getting in trouble'). I could tell he was really confused, in his perspective his wife had just randomly left to go and sleep on the sofa (I'm not entirely sure if he even remember what had happened but I think he did, although he still thought it was with his wife not his daughter) it must've been confusing. When I went to school I spent the whole day in a state of utter anxiety, I knew my dad was going to ask my mum what had happened and when she told him I stayed in his bed if he did remember then he would put two and two together and realise he'd been intimate with his daughter. However when I got home nothing was said about it, so I just assumed I was off the hook and didn't question it. I'm 14 now and nothing has been brought up about it ever since. So I still don't know if my dad knows, or if my mum and my dad know. Either I'm the only one who knows, my dad also knows and hasn't told my mum and just pushed it aside, or both my parents know and decided to leave it thinking I would probably forget about it if I remembered at all. I vaguely remember asking to sleep in my parents bed again and my mum saying no incase my dad thought I was her. Nothing like this has happened since but the constant not knowing whether they know is driving me crazy. I've never told anyone about it, I'm too scared to be judged, and it wasn't my dad's fault and I don't want people wrongly accusing him of being a paedophile because of what happened. I'm too scared to bring it up to either of them because if they don't know it would be so awkward. I am definitely traumatised because of what happened, it will randomly come into my mind and always make me feel upset and guilty. It's making my life a real struggle, and I know it sounds silly it's just so difficult- I see my dad everyday and he's so loving and caring, to think that we were intimate together makes me feel physically sick. So to link back to the question, does this count as sexual assault? Because although I didn't object I was only a minor not aware of what was happening, but my dad didn't know it was me he was being intimate with. Also what should I do? It's eating away at me keeping this inside but I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone and I don't want my dad to get in trouble for something that wasn't his fault.
All answers will be really appreciated, and I'm sorry this is so long- I had a lot to get off my chest. Thanks.

Let me start by saying from what you have written I don't believe your dad intentionally sexually assaulted you. In the strictest terms of the words you were not. If as you say your dad is a deep sleeper he would not have known you were in bed with him. The question that would be asked if this was ever to come to light would be ; could he have known the difference between you little legs and you moms mature legs in his sleep.

That would be a judgment call on whoever would be making that decision for there is no way to know for certain what your dad felt or did not feel. You have already made the determination your father did not assault you and I would suggest you continue with that determination as there is no right or wrong answer to this question.

I believe you mother and father know what happened while you were in bed with him. It is probably something that is normal between them. Again whether you dad knows for certain that it happened only he knows for sure. What your dad did with you would be perfectly normal between adult couples.

Since you are having difficulty with this I would suggest you try and get some counseling to help you put this in the proper prospective. Whatever you say in counseling stay with the therapist and will never be repeated to anyone including your parents without your written consent.

...I still have this hint of miserable depression inside of me. It's the worst chemical balance. What can I do to make my chemical imbalance... balance and I'll feel the happiest without that sickening hint of depression?

I go to a psychiatrist. I'm taking the correct medications (Lithium, Lamictal, Latuda and Invega). I don't do therapy because I feel pressured to talk no matter what, and that makes me feel BEYOND worse than I already feel.

I'm doing aromatherapy which helps A LOT, but it's not enough. I do exercising INCREDIBLY a lot, and it makes me fully happy right after, but then that hint of depression comes back. I do yoga and meditation too.

Nothing's helping to take away that hint. What am I supposed to do?!

I have suffered from simple depression and I agree with Solidadviceforteens the medications you listed are normally used to treat manic or bipolar depression which is not a chemical depression per se.

I would add to the advice already given that you do go to talk therapy for two reasons. First the psychologist you should work with can help you better understand your illness. Second all depressions stem from something in manic depression or bipolar disorder the object is to keep you from swinging from extremely happy to extremely depressed. This is where the psychologist is most helpful by helping you recognize the symptoms that cause the mood swings and giving you ways to keep things more in balance.

The other things you are doing for yourself are great and I suggest you continue. I would also suggest you try acupuncture. I did and it was extremely helpful. One word of caution acupuncture for depression is not a one visit fix. The acupuncturist may suggest twice weekly visits to start, then once a week, then twice a month as maintenance visits.

My doctors consider my depression cured now but I continue with the acupuncture as it helps both my mood and the physical pain which caused the depression in the first place. I was disabled in a car accident which eventually with everything that goes along with an accident of the type I was in, the only innocent in a 3 car wreck. Dealing with the lawyers and insurance companies, everyone trying to beat you down took its toll on me.

I am a 12 year old girl who can't masturbate and need help because I can't buy a dildo

There is nothing wrong with masturbation and I fully support anyone who does masturbate regardless of what their parents might say to them about masturbation. No one has ever gotten pregnant through masturbation. It is a safe and enjoyable way to lose the pent up sexual tension teenagers have and adults too.

At 12 years old you are a little young to be shoving things in you vagina for 2 reasons. First your muscles in your vagina may but be ready to stretch to accept a dildo a which could cause you pain. Second shoving a dildo in your vagina will rupture your Hymen. While your Hymen and virginity have nothing to do with each other I would hang on to it at least until you're 14 for it is one way to prove to your mother you are still a virgin.

At 14 mom can no longer, by a law called HIPPA, force you to have a examination of your reproductive system against your will. Write me back when your 14 and I will explain more fully.

For now if you are unable to climax clitorally then use your fingers in your vagina putting through the hole in your Hyman that allow menstrual blood to drain. But first try masturbating by stimulating your clitoris. Use the web to find out the best ways to do that. Just type Clitoral masturbation in to a search engine.

MEN DO YOU FLIRT/PICK ON/MASSAGE SHOULDERS WITH OTHER WOMEN, WHEN YOU HAVE A FIANCEE AND OR A WIFE ?

if so why? do you do this to be silly, potentially wanna cheat with one of those women???? there's a reason behind everything you do....and im just curious as to why some men do this, if they have no feelings for the person that they are picking on/flrting with daily especially if they are just friends and this is what you both agreed to be..... then why get upset/hurt if she doesn't gesture back or if she says/reminds you that the two of you are just friends and this is what you agreed to be and on top of that you have a fiancée?

Would you be/get jealous if she did what you did to other men? I find doing that type of stuff while having a significant other is being disrespectful especially if you don't tell the person you are doing the actions to, that you have some and lie and say you are single and you aren't......

To start with let me say I have been happily married for 45 years and the only woman who has shared my bed in those 45 years has been my wonderful wife. As to your question yes I have given other women neck and shoulder massages. Some were friends of ours and some were business associates.

Let me explain, for most of our married life I have been in sales. At one time I worked for a leading manufacturer of products that were sold in lighting showrooms. These showrooms were primarily staffed by women and the more exclusive the showroom the more model type sales people they employed.

Part of selling is not just product knowledge it is getting to know your customer and becoming their friend so that they welcome you into their place of business. Salespeople like me of both genders know they have obtained this status when they walk into the showroom and are greeted with hugs and kisses. It hard to say no to a friend is the theory behind this.

As the products I sold were not always the type I could drag into the showroom they would have to look at pictures and cut sheet. As they bent over their desk to look at the pictures and material I was showing I started to give the ladies I was closest with neck and shoulder massages. They liked it and I continued. Again on the theory of be hard to say no to a friend.

I would also take these women to lunch. I would lead the conversations away from business to ask about them, their husbands, children or boyfriends and other things going on in their lives. After returning to the showroom and completing our business I would get back in my car drive down the street and park, pull out a file I kept on each customer and make notes of our conversation so I could remember to ask about whoever was ill or if she and her boyfriend got over the problem they were having.

That night from my hotel or over dinner at home I would tell my wife everything that happened that day. I had to stop giving the neck rubs when sexual harassment became an issue. The ladies missed them and asked why I stopped. I told them why and they understood that some one could misunderstand my intentions.

So as you can see not everything is as you might think. The hugs and kisses were all brother and sister type and for me just a part of business that even when I started calling on different industries I used different portions of this to continue to be a very successful salesperson.

For me I was never looking to cheat on my wife. My only goal was to make a friend who would find it hard to say no to what I was attempting to get them to buy and it worked very well. To be frank since none of them ever tried to make any type of pass at me I don't think they wanted any more from me either.

Hello,
I am an 18 year old, who does like to drink alochol quite frequently (not proud of it) and have been doing so since I was 17. I drink every 2-3 days depending on my mood. I think my drinking habits are too excessive for my age and every time I have a drink it upsets people. It upsets my boyfriend the most as every time im drunk I say horrible things to him that I dont mean and wouldnt say sober.i do love him to pieces.he tried to support me and tells me to stop drinking but I cannot help myself. I would be gratefull if anyone could give me some tips on how to control my drinking before it's too late thanks

It sounds to me like you have a problem with alcohol that is not truly related to your age. The type of problem you have related is the type you would most likely experience at any age. TO put a name to it you are a "Problem Drinker."

There is no cure for this problem other than to stop drinking altogether. If you truly want to stop drinking not just control your drinking, there is a difference, then you should look into joining Alcoholics Anonymous (aa). Below is a link to their home page where you can find the location of meetings close to you.

My brother in-law is a 25 year recovering alcoholic and credits aa for his sobriety. The meetings are free. They pass a plate around at each meeting for donations. Donate if you can.

If you truly want to stop drinking they can help you. the word anonymous means just that. You're known only by your first name. They will not tell your parents or your school. They will find you a sponsor who you can talk to and who will help you stop drinking.

Your sponsor may encourage you to tell your parents about your drinking and I support you doing so as well as your boyfriend. The reason for doing so is there is a support group for them called al-anon for your parents and Alateen for your boyfriend where they can meet others who have loved ones with drinking problems and learn how to help them. Once again these meetings are free and you will find a link to their homepage below.

While the problem you have is not the drinking per say it is your bodies’ reaction to alcohol. Two or three drinks depending on how large they are should not make the average person so drunk as to cause what happens to you when you drink. Your body is the problem in that it does not tolerate alcohol most likely in any amount.

The only way to fix this problem is to stop drinking. The suggestions I made above will work if you work the program. It aa is a tried and true program that has helped millions of people and will help you as well.

http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa-resources

http://al-anon.org/find-a-meeting

So my 4 best friends and I are going off to university this week. Tomorrow night we are getting together and giving each other letters.

I need to write a letter for each of my best friends with like memories and what I like about them and stuff.

I have no idea how to go about doing this. I am really not very good with words (but I can't draw either so that's not a viable alternative). Like I can form sentences but I just don't know what to say. My brain doesn't like to mix words and emotions...

Any help of any kind is welcome! Thanks

I use to be more verbal than written which I think may be your problem. One of the biggest problems I had with being more verbal was back when I was in school, back in the dark ages with the Flintstones, we had to write these long essays. It just wasn't in me to do that.

My dad came up with a crutch, and aid, for me to use to help me get through these assignments. He bought me a tape recorder. I Would do the essay first by speaking into the tape recorder then transpose the tape to paper.

You could do the same thing using your smartphone if you want. Set your phone photo record and talk to it as if you were talking to each of your friends. Then just transpose the recording to paper. I could suggest sending them a photo letter instead of a written letter but large photo files are hard to send on some email servers so it may not be possible to do that.

Using the tape recorder as a crutch was helpful and today I no longer need the tape recorder I can in a sense talk to myself and type at the same time; then go back and edit.

I am a 17 year old girl and a junior in high school. I live with my 2 sisters, 1 brother, and mom and dad. I have been through a lot in my life. I was sexually abused when I was 4 until I was 11. I have been to 3 impatient care facilities and therapy for the past 5 years. My parents used to let me do a lot of things and trust me a lot. But as I have gotten older they have less and less. I do not lie to them, whenever they ask me what I've been doing I tell them, even if it is getting drunk in the woods. I let them have my phone location, literally anything they wanted in hope of being trusted, even though I have never really done anything to lose their trust. Although I do smoke a lot of pot, but I use it for ptsd because the pills don't help. I do well in school and I have a part time job. I have always wanted to be independent but never been allowed to basically because of my parents controlling my every move. I am going to be 18 in February and my question is should I get an apartment (probably rent a room)? I cannot stand being here and they don't let me out or go for sleepovers. I live in a 2 bedroom house with 6 people. I can't be here and I can't wait 2 more years for college. I am really not sure what to do or how I am even going to afford it. But I really don't want to ruin a relationship with my family. I just need to be independent and live my own life instead of my parents controlling my life. Thank you for reading and please let me know what you think I should do.

Yours is a complex problem one that needs more help then we can offer in this type of communication. My knee jerk reaction to your moving out based only on what you have written. Is that doing so without knowing how to pay for everything that goes into living on your own will only put more stress on you. Right now I do not believe you need or can handle any additional stress.

You don't mention who your abuser was or what the outcome of the abuse was. Is this person a family member? Does this person still live with you? You mention inpatient care and therapy for the past 5 years; was this all for the sexual abuse?

It appears from what you have written that you parents are being overly protective. If it is because of the sexual abuse I'm not sure I understand their reasoning. Sexual abuse of a 4 year old can in no way be blamed on the 4 year old. You did nothing wrong. By the time you were old enough to understand you could not stop the abuse. Which leads me to wonder if your parents put any blame on you and is the reason for the over protection.

Are you still in therapy? If not I feel you should be. You need to discuss these problems with a good therapist. Meaning if your uncomfortable talking with this therapist than ask for a different one, this is your right.

The questions I asked you are ones that need to be asked, answered and discussed with your therapist. You need to discuss with your therapist this issue of overprotection and trust between you and your parents. You can give your therapist limit permission to discuss that issue with your parents so that he or she can help you resolve it and move forward.

If you have not had any real closure on the sexual abuse you need to gets some with the help of your therapist. That and the issue of trust along with any other issues you may have need to be resolved before you can fully move on.

I am a 27 year old female and I hear about all these 12 and 13 year olds getting their periods. My middle sister got hers when she was 11 and my oldest sister got hers when she was 12 but I didn't get mine until I was 16 could this be why I have trouble getting pregnant? Thanks in advance.

I am not a doctor so this is in no way a medical answer. My sister had her first period between her 15th and 16th birthdays and had no problem getting pregnant.

Getting pregnant is not as easy as getting in bed and making love. You have to make love within three days of ovulation so that one of your partners swimmers has a chance of fertilizing your egg. Then there is also the possibility that you are not the problem in why you are having trouble getting pregnant.

First things first, before you injure your partners ego visit your GYN and get a complete work up to see if there is anything wrong with you. If you are in working order then your partner needs to see a fertility doctor or a urologist for a check-up.

He may have a low sperm count or he may have low "T", which is low testosterone. There are a number of other things that could be a problem but those are the most common. A low sperm count may mean you conceive you child through inve-tro fertilization which can be expensive and most insurance policies do not cover.

Hello, I'm 22 and a recent college graduate with my bachelors. I worked retail for four years before I got my present job as a lead teacher at a preschool. It won't be my forever job but it'll give me the experience for my resume which will, in turn, help me get a good job for my degree.

Anyway, per state laws: I cannot be the only adult with my 10 children as there is a 5:1 ratio that I need to follow. So I have an assistant teacher. She's been working here for about two years so she knows her stuff but I also think that she really doesn't like me. I went in this past weekend to take all of last school years things down and put up my own. It took me longer than I anticipated to take everything down so there is more stuff bare than full. I came in this morning so excited for my assistant to see my new bulletin board and everything and she yelled at me for changing the room and making it look bad. When the overtime was offered to change the room over the weekend, she told me that she wasn't coming in on the weekend and that I can do whatever I want. Then she goes and yells at me for doing just that. Today, my kids were painting for their craft and as I was cleaning them all up in the bathroom, one got into a box of toys that I didn't see and my assistant yelled at me and told me that I need to be better at doing two things at once.

I really don't want to confront my boss about it but it's going to make this whole school year miserable for me if she keeps demeaning my work here as well. Plus, I've only been here for about two weeks. I just don't know what to do about her and how to make the situation better. I always ask her how she does things and advise so I don't do anything wrong in her eyes and it always just backfires.

First explain to her that you are the lead teacher and things will be done your way. If she does not want or like the way you do things she knows where the door is. In other words take control and own your job. Also follow Razhies advice on how to handle the way she talks to you. When you do need to correct her take her aside when you do. Do not correct her in front of the students.

My knee jerk reaction to why she is down on everything you do is this. Most likely she expected to get the job you have as a lead teacher. She has two years experience dealing with the children while you are a recent college grad. Is she qualified or as qualified for the job as you? Probably not or they may have considered giving the job to her. In any case I believe she is angry for not getting the position and taking it out on you.

Therefore my advice is to follow what I wrote in the first paragraph. Sit her down and make her understand who is in control of the classroom, who sets the agenda for the day/week/month and just what you expect of her as your back up in the classroom. Again remind her if she is not comfortable with being the second the exit door is always open. Do not be afraid to use those exact terms. You need to demonstrate to her that your in charge and she follows your lead or she can leave.

is mostly bisexual?

First I'm not sure that is totally true. For another the female is more open about being bisexual then the males is. It is also more socially acceptable for the female to be bisexual.

From my standpoint on sex what ever happens behind the closed doors in the privacy of one's bedroom is of no concern to others. Just as long as both or all parties are consenting adults. Operative words are CONSENTING ADULTS.

I'm a middle school girl, and I "suffer" from severe anorexia. I personally don't believe that it is an incredibly big deal, however there is one other problem. I can't lose weight. No matter what I do, nothing happens.Everyday, I record my weight, width of my waist, and what I ate that day. At the very most, I eat 750 calories a day. I do a hundred-cal workout however many times is necassary to work off the calories, plus 400 crunches. I eat organic cereal with milk for breakfast, resulting in 260 calories. For lunch, I have a 50 calorie container of applesauce, if anything. Then for supper I eat the smallest portion of whatever my mom cooks that I can get away with. Finally, I workout, doing the hundred-cal 3 times for lunch and breakfast, plus another 5 times for supper (I just estimate 500cal for supper cause I don't know how much it really is).

Despite all of this, I still don't lose weight. I fluctuate from 108.5Lb to 106, and from a 26.5in waist to 29. Im so tired of doing all of this, but I have to until I'm skinny. Anyone have an explanation? (Or at least some sort of appetite suppressant ideas)

If it helps, I'm a 5'2 female and 13 years old.

Razhie is right you can't lose weight because you have no more weight to lose. The fluctuation in weight you are seeing is muscle weight from all the exercising your doing. When you exercise as much as you are you are adding muscle weight by toning the muscles.

That is not all your doing, YOU ARE SLOWLY KILLING YOURSELF. SEVERE ANOREXIA IS A BIG DEAL AND IT WILL KILL YOU. I WATCHED A DEAR FRIEND'S DAUGHTER DIE FROM SEVERE ANOREXIA.

Let me explain to you what is going on in your body. The body is designed to keep the brain functioning at all costs. The body is a machine much like a car. In order for it to operate properly it need the proper octane, calories in the right amount. For the average person with average activities the amount of calories need varies between 1,900 and 2,100 daily.

What the body doesn't use on a given day it stores as fat to use on days when it may not get sufficient calories. This works well for most people and their weight fluctuates by several pounds.

For those who are anorexic like you. When their is no stored fat to draw on the body goes into safety mode and starts to protect the brain. TO do this it starts to shut off those systems it can't support in order of least importance. In women the first system is the reproductive system. You may not be getting your period or it is wildly fluctuating. Female Olympic athletes do not get their periods while in training and the very young ones develop slower.

After the reproductive system it becomes an organ recital, the Kidneys shut down next followed by the liver then the lungs and then the heart. Finally when everything is shut down the brain dies.

Depending on how long you have been this way you may have already harmed some of these organs may be irreparably. You need to start eating again and to see several doctors. First you need to see your family doctor for a complete physical to see how badly you have harmed yourself. Then you need to see a doctor who specializes in eating disorders. You may also need to see specialist who may be able to repair the damage you have done to yourself.

Once your Kidneys shut down there is no reversing the damage done. You may have only weeks left to live. If you want to see your sweet sixteen tell your parents what is going on with you and get to a doctor NOW.

I'm a 7th grade girl, and I am absolutely terrible at social interaction. What I believe to be setting me apart from others is my intelligence. Although I may sound extraordinarily arrogant in saying so, I am much, much smarter than most. I have a genius IQ, and aced the English TCAP in 5th grade and the math TCAP last year (scoring at 99% or 98% in all other classes). I had a final grade of 100% on my report card in science, and I was selected for numerous intellectual contests (not all of which I participated in).

My intelligence creates a barrier between myself and the outside world because I find difficulty in understanding how others feel (either emotionally or as in not understanding things that I deem to be quite simple). Also, I have trouble in feeling many emotions whatsoever. When my grandfather died two years ago, I didn't shed a tear. Same goes for when my best friend committed suicide, and my baby brother died before even being born.

Help me... I'm too socially and mentally different to function like a normal person. I'm so sick of this.

Having a hi IQ does not always make one smarter than the rest of the class, in your case it seems to do just that. Some people especially girls trying to attract boys will try to dumb themselves down so to attract a man. Don't do that.

Your intelligence and ability to learn at a higher level than your peers is a gift that needs to be honed and used to make the world a better place. Social interaction is a learned skill just like driving a car, ice skating or any other activity.

For most of us it comes naturally as we grow and mature. Your ability to see things on a higher plane makes others uncomfortable and may be the reason you don't react to certain social situations the way others do. If I was your parent this would not be upsetting to me.

If I was your parent and I'm old enough to be your grandfather. What I would do for you is take you to a psychologist who understands better than I so the problem you have. The psychologist can show you how to switch between different levels so that you can have social integration but retain the gift you have at the same time.

My brother in-law is a lot like you. He has a very high IQ a Masters in Nuclear Engineering and a PHD in Nuclear Physics or the other way around I get confused which is which. If you were to meet him you would think he is the original absent minded professor. He also has the ability to explain things, when he can, in terms anyone can understand.

He works for one of the alphabet departments of the government on mostly secret things that go Boom and wipe out cities. Now he heads a department and I still don't know exactly what he does. He didn't get to be a department head on his IQ and education alone. He learned long ago when he was your age how to park his ability to learn and to learn to interact with others. Actually it was my father in-laws doing having an older cousin take and show him how.

My advice if you don't have a family member a bit older who will show you how to interact. Then I suggest you ask your parents as I suggested above to have you see a psychologist who I know can help you.

You have a wonderful gift that you can train yourself to use for good things. You could be the one to find a cure for Cancer or MSD or any of the other horrible diseases. Maybe you will be a doctor who will discover breakthrough surgical techniques. This is the gift you have. Learn to social interact and your gift will open a whole world to you.

There was a shooting on my college campus three years ago. I was in class and heard something like a bookcase falling over. A loud bang. A few minutes later I heard screaming in the hallway. My professor looked out and didn't see anything so class resumed but I had a horrible feeling in my stomach. A few minutes later we heard more yelling, and this time something inside me just knew. I texted my family text, "I think there is a shooter." My school sends out emergency alerts and for some reason my sister had gotten the alert before I did and sent a screen shot to our group text that there was an active shooter situation in my building. More alerts came in, and it was found out that one person was already dead and that the entire campus was on lock down. People in my class started to sort of freak out, but before we could make any kind of decision police officers came in and evacuated us from the building. I was so out of it and there were police cars everywhere. No one was telling us where to go so I had to walk the entire way through campus back to my dorm not knowing if the shooter had been caught or if he was out roaming the campus. It was February, below freezing, and I didn't have a jacket but I was sweating and it felt like a dream. Every campus building was locked down and no one would let the students from that building wandering around inside. I threw up when I got back to my room. It was the worst hour of my life.

Turned out, the shooter was in custody at the time of me walking home. And it was determined that the shooter went into the academic building with the intent to kill the other student. The university called it a targeted and isolated attack as if that was supposed to make us all feel better. As if it was supposed to make me forget all of the fear I felt that day. And I did, for awhile. I felt bad expressing my feelings about that day. I felt like I didn't deserve to be upset about it. Even though I had heard the shot, the aftermath, saw the blood, and felt that my life was truly in danger, it never actually was and I didn't feel like I was allowed to feel affected. Even though people's eyes would go big when I told them I was in the building of the shooting, there were students that actually witnessed it happen. Who was I to feel traumatized?

I still feel the effects of that day. If I hear loud voices in a hallway I have to excuse myself to calm my breathing in the bathroom. I can't go to class during syllabus week because during the emergency preparedness section my professors always talk about that day. I feel panicked in movies with gunfire or when a book falls off a table and sounds like a gunshot. It's not like its all the time and its not like its horrible, but as I'm entering my senior year I wonder if I need to do something to face this. And I don't know what to do. I don't feel like I deserve to feel this way, especially after all of this time. But I don't want to leave this school with this feeling in me. There were os many good times and I don't want this memory to be the one that sticks with me.

You are probably suffering from PTSD. PTSD is not just for Soldiers returning from war. You suffered a trauma and even though you were not hurt the trauma is real and needs to be dealt with in a positive and professional manner or it will haunt you for the rest of your life.

I have been a firefighter for most of my adult life. Like the police we see and must deal with things that people should never have to see or deal with. There are some things I just will never forget but because the fire department makes sure we get counseling after horrific calls I have learned how to deal with the stress and trauma of our job. We are not the hero's people make us out to be. We are human and things do get to us.

My advice is to go to the campus health center and ask for counseling.

I am a 24years old girl...I have PCOS, unwanted facial hair and everything possible ugly things regarding my appearance..I have obesity, high cholesterol, thyroid and blood sugar as well..I am so sick that I can not go to my research laboratory regularly.. so a bad reputation of absenteism i have..my parents are literally tensed about me..i am under medical treatment..but i do not wish to live so lack of motivation and depression causing no affect on my medication..i am becoming burden to my parents..a guy wants to marry me but i know my condition will only get worse..so i won't be able to fill his life with happiness and can not serve all marital urges..i do not want to become a burden in his life too...i just want to die...if anyone can show me some rays of hope please help..

Please don't take what I am about to suggest or offer as a suggestion the wrong way. I am making it with the knowledge of a friend who had similar problems but not total PCOS. She had very bad Endometriosis. Her doctor wanted to do a complete hysterectomy but she refused as she wanted to try and get pregnant. She never did. She ended dying at the young age of 63 from Diabetes, heart disease and other complications. All of which I read about under symptoms of PCOS.

MY question and suggestion are the same . If the problem is related to the reproductive system would not a complete hysterectomy solve the problem? In what I read I did not see that as a solution only ways to limit the impact on fertility were given.

If the chances of having children are minimal at best and the chances of uterine cancer are high. Why run the risk? Remove the organ and have a somewhat normal life. If removing the organ solves the problem the depression will lift, the obesity can be reduced and all the other things PCOS is causing should return to normal and you can marry the man who wants to marry you. If you wish to have children there are literally hundreds of children in need of loving homes. You can adopt or be foster parents.

Doctors are always looking for cures and that cure is always just around the corner. You want a solution. If you feel that my suggestion has merit then talk to you GYN.

I'm usually abnormal when it comes to having my period. It's been 5 months now not having it. But me and my boyfriend had sex for the first time and he cum on my clit. It was alot that it actually went down to my butt and bed. He did this twice and he told me that he precum the whole week we intercourse. Could I get pregnant from this situation?

IF you had intercourse without being on birth control and not using a condom, the chances are100% possible you could get pregnant depending on when you ovulate. Since you haven't had a period in 5 months I can't tell you if or when you ovulate. I'm guessing you’re a very young teenager and just starting into puberty, which hopefully is a saving grace for you as I'm sure you do not want to be a teenage mom.

Since I believe you to be a very young teenager I'm going to fill you in on the facts of live about teenage boys and love, love and sex.

Teenage boys do not define love as you do. To them the definition of love is closer to that of lust. They will tell you anything they think you need to hear to get you to have sex with them. IF all else fails the use lines like; "If you love me you will have sex with me, "Sex is not how you prove your love for someone, it is the end result of your love for someone and it comes about naturally. Yes there is such a thing as recreational sex but that is for people much older than you.

Also teenage boys cannot keep a secret. If you are as young as I believe you to be it won't be long before every boy in school will be after you because you had sex with your boyfriend and he told his best buddy who told his best buddy and so on.

Last but most important always use a condom. Don't listen to his excuses as to why he doesn't want to for they are all BS. Condoms protect you in 2 ways. First they are 85% effective in preventing pregnancy when worn properly. Second they protect YOU from many of the STDS out there and the HIV/AIDS virus. Never trust a teenage boy to tell you he is a virgin, there is no way to prove this. There is also no way for you to know how many others he has had sex with and if you have unprotected sex with him. You are having sex with everyone he has ever had sex with.

You need to trust me on this for I was once a teenage boy myself and I'm telling you like it was. Nothing changes when it comes to a boy trying to get sex. If you were to ask your dad and he was to answer you honestly he would tell you the same thing.

My advice is to stop having sex until you’re older. If you are going to continue to have sex insist on the boy using condoms, carry them in your purse. Hopefully you are not pregnant, If you are pregnant and over 14 but under 18 write me back in a private message and I will tell you what your legal rights are which are many.

So since I'm not living on residence for university I decided on going to my schools orientation week. I had to pay 140 dollars for it because of all the activities going on for it, for example going to the amusement park, touring downtown and going to the beach. Some of the activities that interested me the most take place during 8pm and my mom is saying I can't stay on campus past 5pm cause it's not safe to be there because of the rape reputation the school has. The thing that is pissing me off the most is that I didn't even want to go to that school in the first place but my mom kept insisting I go to that school instead of another school I wanted to go to. So now I'm going to the school she wants and she's telling me I can't stay past 5 because of certain types of people that will be there?? She knew what type of school it was so why am I even going there?? I wouldn't be complaining if all the good activities were in the daytime but they aren't and I don't wanna waste ONE HUNDRED AND FOURTY DOLLARS (that I had to pay for myself, she didn't pay for it) just to go to one event and stay home for the rest, don't get me wrong I'm not going to all the events like the orientation parties that end around midnight or the boat cruise (which I really wanna go to but my mom said no) what can I do to make her understand? She called her friend who goes to my uni for her doctorate degree and she basically told my mom whatever she does don't let me go because there's certain rape situations that always happens smh. How else am I going to make friends when I go to a commuter school? Why would I talk in class when I'm paying to be there? I checked all the clubs out for my school none of them look interesting enough, anyways I'm a 17 year old female btw and thank you if you have answered my question

Right now you are truly between the proverbial rock and a hard place. The problem, the hard place, is your 17. The hard place it is your money.

Until you turn 18 your parents have ultimate control over you. No matter how grown up you may be, the fact that you are finished with High School and on to college. It is the fact that you have not attained the age of majority hinders or hobbles you. Until you reach the age of majority which is 18 in all states parents have ultimate control over a child's actions. This includes anything the child may pay for themselves and the school you attend.

When you reach your 18th birthday if you are paying for school or if you wish to saddle yourself with about $60,000 of student loans you can ditch this college for the college of your choice. Your parents may holler, scream and even try and forbid you to go but in reality they are not paying the freight so they have no control.

Parents try and control their children when they reach 18 by what they provide. Legally they need not provide anything, morally is another story. By providing for college, giving you money and paying for medical, dental and clothing is how they control . Why, simple it is what you are use to so you follow their directions unchallenged for the most part. You don't have to. All you should do or need to do is say thank you for your continuing support.

My advice is the only true advice one can give you at this time. Hang in there until your 18th birthday then reassess what you want to do.

The other advice I feel I need to give you is this; do not let mom control you once you turn 18. I have a feeling mom is a controlling type person and you may have to stand up for yourself or she will control you for the rest of your life. You have to follow you own mind and heart. Listen to her advice then decide if she is right or trying control you and do what is best as you feel is best.

Okay, so after watching the fundamentals of caring, (a movie about a boy with muscular dystrophy who is wheelchair bound, and a caregiver to watch over him who also takes him to the world's lamest attractions around different states) I was genuinely curious if a caregiver would work with me as well. I, thankfully, am not wheelchair bound, but I do suffer from hypermobility syndrome, also known as Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (type 3).

I deal with daily dislocations, and I was wondering if I could potentially hire someone to help me out on days that are particularly not easy on my 16 y/o body.

(No, I am not asking for someone to take me across the country)

Does anyone know if this could be possible?

Anything is possible if you are willing to pay for it. If you are asking you health insurance company to pay that is a different question. From what I read this is one of those illnesses that is commonly misdiagnosed and when diagnosed still misunderstood. Wherein lies the problem of possibly getting your insurance company to pay for a caregiver.

Being 16 your parents are your caregivers at least until your 18 and possibly longer under the new insurance regulations. The question I believe you should be asking is; once your parents are no longer legally responsible for you can you get a caregiver through some agency or insurance company.

TO do this I would suggest you start by talking with your doctor. He or she would first have to evaluate to what degree you are capable of caring for yourself and to what degree you need a caregiver. In other words to you need 24/7 care or just care to bath and other hygiene needs? Are you able to walk with a walker, cane or crutches? Can you climb stairs without assistance and so forth. All of this and other things go into deciding if and how much care assistance you need to be supplied with.

Starting now will save time later for the process is lengthy and loaded with red tape.

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