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My mom isn't understanding of orientation week?
So since I'm not living on residence for university I decided on going to my schools orientation week. I had to pay 140 dollars for it because of all the activities going on for it, for example going to the amusement park, touring downtown and going to the beach. Some of the activities that interested me the most take place during 8pm and my mom is saying I can't stay on campus past 5pm cause it's not safe to be there because of the rape reputation the school has. The thing that is pissing me off the most is that I didn't even want to go to that school in the first place but my mom kept insisting I go to that school instead of another school I wanted to go to. So now I'm going to the school she wants and she's telling me I can't stay past 5 because of certain types of people that will be there?? She knew what type of school it was so why am I even going there?? I wouldn't be complaining if all the good activities were in the daytime but they aren't and I don't wanna waste ONE HUNDRED AND FOURTY DOLLARS (that I had to pay for myself, she didn't pay for it) just to go to one event and stay home for the rest, don't get me wrong I'm not going to all the events like the orientation parties that end around midnight or the boat cruise (which I really wanna go to but my mom said no) what can I do to make her understand? She called her friend who goes to my uni for her doctorate degree and she basically told my mom whatever she does don't let me go because there's certain rape situations that always happens smh. How else am I going to make friends when I go to a commuter school? Why would I talk in class when I'm paying to be there? I checked all the clubs out for my school none of them look interesting enough, anyways I'm a 17 year old female btw and thank you if you have answered my question
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Do you have a friend or roommate that can be trusted that also goes there? I was thinking that if you had an older friend or someone mom can trust go and be a spotter for you and keep track of your well-being that mom could relax. Give her the cell # of this person to check in.
The other thing you could do is get a relative or someone older you trust and she trusts the opinion of. Explain your situation to this person, the costs and what you paid and where and when you are going to certain events and what they are. Have them explain how important this is to you.
Another adult needs to illustrate to her that although sexual assaults have happened there that it's not a huge number and that you are aware of your surroundings, situations but it's bloody unrealistic that come 5p.m. you have to home and be locked in because of some idiots lurking looking to harm others. Get self-defense lessons if this is a real irrational fear of hers that you could be harmed. Also, there must be campus and other security.
I would not walk alone in those areas after dark but rather in pairs and do all you can to be secure but other than that mom needs you to go around like a normal person would on campus 17 or not and experience all the things from Frosh that everyone else is doing and meet friends from your college and even your own dorm. It's more than just having fun but rather networking and finding people who can help you later on.
I see why mom is concerned but it is irrational fear and wanting to control a situation to protect you from something that isn't as real or big as she's making a situation to be. Someone needs to prove this to her but you can't convince anyone of anything but you can make a point and have others back you up.
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Right now you are truly between the proverbial rock and a hard place. The problem, the hard place, is your 17. The hard place it is your money.
Until you turn 18 your parents have ultimate control over you. No matter how grown up you may be, the fact that you are finished with High School and on to college. It is the fact that you have not attained the age of majority hinders or hobbles you. Until you reach the age of majority which is 18 in all states parents have ultimate control over a child's actions. This includes anything the child may pay for themselves and the school you attend.
When you reach your 18th birthday if you are paying for school or if you wish to saddle yourself with about $60,000 of student loans you can ditch this college for the college of your choice. Your parents may holler, scream and even try and forbid you to go but in reality they are not paying the freight so they have no control.
Parents try and control their children when they reach 18 by what they provide. Legally they need not provide anything, morally is another story. By providing for college, giving you money and paying for medical, dental and clothing is how they control . Why, simple it is what you are use to so you follow their directions unchallenged for the most part. You don't have to. All you should do or need to do is say thank you for your continuing support.
My advice is the only true advice one can give you at this time. Hang in there until your 18th birthday then reassess what you want to do.
The other advice I feel I need to give you is this; do not let mom control you once you turn 18. I have a feeling mom is a controlling type person and you may have to stand up for yourself or she will control you for the rest of your life. You have to follow you own mind and heart. Listen to her advice then decide if she is right or trying control you and do what is best as you feel is best.
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