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I always convince myself that my problems are fake
Is it normal to subconsciously convince yourself that everything negative that you feel is just made up?
I'm a recovering self-harmer and have been since December 2015. Every single time after I relapse or have a bad day, a little voice in the back of my head always says things like: 'You're just pretending to be sad for attention' or 'If you were actually ever sick, how can you be okay again after a while? See? You're just making it all up and exaggerating everything' or at least something along those lines. Does this happen to anyone else? And does anyone know why this happens?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
This definitely isn't normal and not your real thinking at all. I am glad you are able to see that this is cause to be concerned. Your illness is still trying to run the show and pass itself off as your own thinking and correct version of reality when it really is a counterfeit of you and it.
I can say this having dealt with mental health issues and been around people who are like yourself. It wants you to think everything is alright and that I'm not sick and all my problems are imaginary and or for attention or made up when the reality is they aren't. This can become a crisis if you are blinded further to the fact you could be in trouble again with disregarding the voices and carrying on as usual.
What you should do is show and or tell your parents about what you said here and what the voices constantly tell you. Then you should immediately go to your psychiatrist and explain honestly what is happening with voices and what it's saying to you and ask for guidance. You must do that you can maintain the mental stability you have had from Dec. 2015 onward and not relapse or have a bigger problem to deal with for not checking this out.
He/she knows the reasons it happens and the way to turn voices off and provide correct treatment to you. That's where I would start as it may prevent hospitalization if you catch this now and obey the "hey this isn't right" feeling like you have. I wish you well. Let me know how things transpire.
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While I generally agree with Dragonflymagic's advice this case is an exception. C.B.T. is not for everyone you have to let the doctor decide what therapy is best for you. Hearing voices at times is just us giving voice to our own thoughts. At other time it is more serious and requires different therapy. Because of this you have to be absolutely honest with the psychologist or psychiatrist you are seeing.
If you are not presently seeing one of those two doctors than you need to start seeing one and I suggest you start with a psychiatrist as in many states if medication is indicated only they being medical doctors can prescribe. Then you go to a psychologist for talk therapy.
Since you are 15 years old you are going to need to have a parent make the first appointments which means talking with mom or dad or both and tell them about the voices. As to see someone both the psychiatrist and the psychologist are covered or should be covered under their health insurance and employer EAP programs.
As I said it is sometimes okay to hear voices. It depends on what the voices say or tell you that makes the difference. This is why you need to see someone and talk about what the voices are saying.
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Psychologists will call this Self Defeating Thoughts, Common Thinking Errors, Negative Thinking, etc...
A thought is a cognition. The way we think is something our emotions and feelings will follow. And when our emotions are mostly really sad, scared or angry...the more negative emotions, then our actions that follow based on our thoughts will also be negative.
Luckily for a few decades there has been a treatment available to Dr.s that is not based on medicine. Many psychologists may still believe what they are trained to do, which is to give medicine which a very small percent of people actually require to feel normal. The greater majority respond to something called C.B.T, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Only some psychologists are offering this therapy. So if you decide to see a professional, make sure their bio says they do C.B.T.
To be honest, all humans do negative thinking at times, our mind will wander while focusing on negative what if's. But we catch ourselves, and stop before it can affect our emotions. I catch myself quite often dwelling on something negative but before I can become scared or depressed on consistent basis, I tell myself this is not true, And I speak aloud to myself the positive truths I wish for instead, even if I can't see them happening yet. The only catch here is that it takes many times more positive thoughts to rule out just one negative one, so a person must be diligent to work on this on a daily basis. The world we live in is very stressful so I find the need to work on being positive and I do so daily in many ways. I have had temporary depression caused by events that made me feel depressed for a day or two but I guess I am pretty strong this way and decided I didn't like the way depression felt and began to search for ways to get out of depression or avoid it. I learned to become so intune to what I felt like inside if I got so upset or frustrated which if I did nothing but dwell on it, I would end up feeling depressed. I do have a list of things to counteract that, but that would be mild depression for a person who does not struggle with daily negative thoughts. I would say it might be best for you to see a professional for that. Good luck dear.
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