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This may end up getting lengthy, but the situation is complicated...
My circle of friends is made up of married couples, people who have BFs or GFs and single folks. We are all in our late 20's, early 30's and we all pretty much met in college (not all the same college, though).
Anyway, there is one particular girl in our group that has a habit of dating the guys in our group. The first time this happened, the rest of us were happy for the two of them, but unfortunately, their relationship did not last long (about 3 months) and it ended badly. We then had to endure a period where the two of them could not be invited to the same group functions because they couldn't stand the sight of each other. Things were really awkward. That was a while ago (about 3 yrs), and now we are all able to hang out together again, but things are still strained between them. She harbors animosity towards him and still speaks badly of him when his back is turned.
A couple of months ago, she started going out with a different guy friend of ours (who IS aware of her previous relationship with guy friend #1). It has been hard for most of us to support them because we remember what happened last time. We really don't want to go through that awkward period again if things don't work out. Add to that the fact that the two of them have some major differences in thinking when it comes to things like religion and sex before marriage and you can see that this relationship is most likely doomed.
This whole thing is causing our circle of friends to unravel. Instead of doing things together, no questions asked, invitations are now met with, "Are THEY going to be there?". Some of us feel that it's better to avoid them entirely than have to pretend to be happy about their relationship. Myself personally, seeing the two of them together frankly grosses me out.
I should add this bit of information about this girl: she is an only child and extremely introverted. I feel the reason she becomes attracted to the guys in our group of friends is because those are the only men she is exposed to! She has always refused any attempt the rest of us has made to get her in a public setting where she might meet some other single guys. (And she's a cute girl! She would have NO problems meeting someone.)
Now the questions:
Is there an unwritten law that friends should not date friends?
Should we just keep our traps shut and hold the I-told-you-so's until they are warranted?
Should we hold a mass intervention with these two and let them know how we all feel?
Should the chance at *love* be sacrificed for the good of the group?
Honestly, the longer this thing goes on, the more disjointed our friendships are going to get unless we do something soon. Your sound advice will be MORE than appreciated.
Thanks,
R.P., 31/F/NC (link)
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I don't think there is any unwritten law about dating friends. I do see that it can get awkward, but it really shouldn't. The same thing happens when people divorce too. Who keeps the friends kind of thing. The way I have always handled feuding relatives at holiday time would work here as well. Invite everyone and if someone doesn't want to show up because of someone else...well, they miss out.
I don't think saying I told you so will do much good. They will just get mad at whoever does that. They aren't going to listen. Besides, she didn't learn the first time!
To be quite honest, I don't think you should do or say anything. People have to make their own mistakes in life. Once you reach a certain age you should be able to do that in your own. The best thing any friend can do is mind their own business unless asked...then be brutally honest.
Any real friendships will survive it. Just let them both know right now, as a group, that whatever happens in the future...don't come crying to any of you about it because you don't want to hear it. :)
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i want to start masturbating...but how do u do it i am a girl (link)
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http://www.coolnurse.com/masturbation.htm
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I have been working in my dads company for the past month and a half. There are all these guys that work there and I was friends with a group of them. I hit it off with one of them and we always talked and worked togther when we could. He talked about all his problems and I would talk about mine. We would give eachother advice. I finished work on Friday coz Im going to uni tomorrow. We got real close on Friday and when I was leaving we hugged for ages and then it lead to us kissing. He said to me that I couldn't leave now. I don't exactly want to go to uni coz its on the other side of the country but I am going. He asked for my number and then he left. I can't stop thinking about him. Hes a really nice guy (the nicest I ever met) and we got to know eachother pretty well.
I don't know what to do. I want to see him, but I can't because Im leaving tomorrow. I havent got his number. I want to come home nxt weekend to see him.
Im scared I will never see him again.
(link)
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I think you'll be seeing him again. You gave him your number, with luck he will call you soon. You could also probably get it from your dad if he is able to give out employee numbers. :)
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ok sorry...weird question...but if you have sex while youre on ur period, like the last few days or w/e...what are the chances that you'll get pregnant? sorry if thats kinda weird/gross (link)
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You can get pregnant anytime you have sex. Here is some birth control info for you to check out.
http://www.coolnurse.com/birthcontrol.htm
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Has anyone else ever had salsa with creamcheese?? Like you mix it togeather????
No gay answers or i will rate 1's.
~Melissa~ (link)
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Yes I have Melissa and it is yummy. Just dump some salsa into the cream cheese. Mix it up with a beater. Spread it in a dish. Its good that way, but if you want to get fancier...put some chopped onion, shredded cheese and lettuce on top! Its good that way too! I'm going to the store now....:)
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my parents' anniversary is coming up and they keep reminding me because im the oldest of 3 so they want me to do something for them or buy them something.. i hav no idea wat to get or do..and im limited in money..any ideas?? (link)
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Get with your siblings and bake them a nice cake and decorate it. Doesn't have to be pretty or perfect! Make them a card. You might also help them out by keeping your siblings out of their hair for the evening so they could have some alone time. That may be the biggest reason they are letting you know about it now. :)
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okay
so i did something
and now im getting liek these sores in my mouth
like open sores kinda and they hurt
could it be an std ?
(link)
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Here is a website that has a chart on it explaining all the STDs. For more info on any certain disease, just click on it and it will tell you more about it.
http://www.coolnurse.com/std_chart.htm
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My boyfriend and I were having sex, same as normal. We put the condom on correctly, but it still broke in the middle of us having sex. He hadn't cum yet so we just stopped there and finished in ways other then sex. My boyfriend said he didn't pre-cum, but I'm not sure that he knows exactly what that means, and I'm pretty sure you can't control that kind of thing. Is there a good chance that I could still get pregnant or anything I could do?
I need a real answer, so please, no 13 year olds that are just guessing. (link)
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Your boyfriend wouldn't know. "precum" isn't something you feel happening.
To answer your question yes, it is possible to get pregnant from this. More than likely you won't so don't panic. But it is possible. :)
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why do you burp and get the hiccups. (link)
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Here is what I found in the wikipedia. :)
Burping:
Physiology
Burping is typically caused by eating or drinking too fast, and thereby swallowing (aerophagia) and subsequently expelling air, in which case the expelled gas is a mixture of nitrogen and oxygen. Burps can also be caused by imbibing carbonated drinks such as beer, soft drinks, or champagne, in which case the expelled gas is carbon dioxide from the drink itself. Gastroesophageal reflux disease can also cause involuntary burping. Some studies ([1] (http://in.news.yahoo.com/041026/139/2hica.html)) have suggested that aerophagia is not the primary culprit but that burping is in fact a learned (social) behaviour.
Hiccups:
hiccup
A hiccup is an involuntary spasm of the diaphragm; typically this repeats several times a minute until some home remedy is applied. The sudden rush of air into the lungs causes the glottis to close, creating the "hic" noise. It is sometimes written as hiccough, though this spelling is becoming archaic.
The causes of hiccups are unknown, but they can sometimes be brought on by eating quickly, taking a cold drink while eating a hot meal, eating very hot or spicy food, laughing vigorously or coughing.
The term hiccup is also used to describe a small and unrepeated aberration in an otherwise consistent pattern.
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sorry this is so long but... is it wrong not to love your father, now hold on don't blow a gasket i'll explain everything. ya see my dad went to jail when i was really young and and i never got to know him. and my grandperents keep wanting me to go clear across the state to visit him. and i don't wanna spend 5 days in a hot car just to see someone i dont even know for 2 hours. but i feel so ashamed, i feel so self centered, i feel so selfish. i feel like i owe it to him to go. please i want your oupion am i the scum of the earth, or am i ok
please, dont yell at me. i already feel bad enough as it it. (link)
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This may sound harsh but what did he ever do for you? He isn't a father hes a sperm donor. A father would have been there a shared your life not sitting in jail. You are not being a bad person.You owe the man nothing. Most people do not go to prisons just to talk to strangers. It doesn't make your grandparents bad either. I will assume they are dads parents and they think they are doing the right thing. I found a web site you might find interesting. If you ever have questions they can even help you out. rather than explain it, I'll just let you check it out. :)
http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/archive/index.php/f-94.html
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I just met this girl in pottery and she is really cool.( we are both Freshman) We were just talking and she said she used to cut herself and do drugs but not anymore.She said in the summer of 2009 (when we graduate) her and her friends from a different school are going to burn down there old school and then stand across from each other and shoot themselves because they all want to die at the same time.I dont know if I should tell anybody.She sounds really serious about it and I dont kno what I should do.I dont think I can tell a consouler because they will confront her and she will know it was me because i was the only person she told.Ill rate high (link)
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Anytime someone talks of suicide it should be taken seriously. While I realize you don't want her to be mad at you it isn't something you can handle alone. Here is some reading for you to do.
I hope it helps you out. :)
http://www.aap.org/pubed/ZZZ7FR2VR7C.htm?&sub_cat=1
http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/mental_health/suicide.html
http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetails.aspx?p=240&np=298&id=2061
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ok. what is like genital herpes look like. sry not trying to be gross. im not sexually active, no guy has even touched down there. i dont shave often. but i have little red bumps sometimes, and even sometimes on my leg by that area. im worried that i have it. and idk how i couldve gotten it. im young so please help. sry for the details, i just want help!
thanks-
really really embarrassed (link)
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Genital herpes aren't really bumps. It is more like an open sore. The bumps could be caused by a lot of things including heat (like a heat rash). I don't think you have anything to worry about. Try using some powder and see if that doesn't help with those bumps. :)
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I'm 13 female and i haven't kissed anyone yet...is this normal? Most of my friends have kissed someone but i want to wait until i find someone special. Most girls though have their first kiss when they are 12...am I abnormal? Or just plain 'ol me? (link)
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I agree with you! Wait until you find someone special. Don't just kiss some frog...wait for prince charming. You are normal! :)
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ok.....i HATE using pads....hate it!! And i want to use tampons but i have no idea how to do it..i've tried to put one in but it hurts and it wont go any further up....what do i do? (link)
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Here are some websites that might help you out :)
http://www.kidzworld.com/site/p3627.htm
http://www.tampax.com/en_us/pages/ques_main.shtml?pageid=tp0002&=1
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hey youngrandma!! just stopping by to say great job && keep up the good work! i really like you column and i want to be as good of a columnists as you are someday! (link)
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Hey! Thanks for stopping by! I'm sure you are already a great columnist. :)
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Which is your favorite?
The two most popular American brands have been battling each other since before the Hoover administration. Just thought i'd take a poll and see what you think..which is the best ride
(link)
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If you look at my column you'll have the answer! Chevrolet is hands down the best! :)
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I'm like an A size bra becuzz I'm pretty skinny for my age, but it's porportionate to my body and I'm not undernourished, or underwieght. Only thing is, since I have such small boobs, they should be round, and they usually appear to be in the mirror. When I look down, it's a whole other story... they look pointy and gross and stuff...... is it maybe the angle I'm looking? I know this is a really wierd question .... but what the hell. (link)
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Go with the mirror image...thats what those around you will be seeing. Its just the angle! :)
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ok so theres a kid at my school that picks on other people because they cant spell good. hes all like.. you'll never meet anyone if you cant spell.. but we know its not true but no one will stand up to him. what should we do? (link)
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What a weird kid. I don't think guys or girls go up to each other and say Would you like to go to the movies? But first can you spell ...You just tell the kid if spelling is that important to him thats great. Most people just want someone nice and who will be good to them. To each his own! :)
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i REALLY need help on this 1!!! im new at this advice thingy and i want to give great advice! how do i give good/great advice????
PLZ help me!!!! *i will rate high on good answers! :)*
from,
stuck in it! (link)
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Just be honest with people. Don't talk down to them or judge.
Do not use chatspeak or any other gibberish.
If you don't know an answer for sure, move on to next question.
Don't give long answers unless really necessary. Some people don't want long ones.
Do your best and don't be afraid to ask questions...but check the Help/faqs first :)
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Ok, there is this guy and everyday when I get on the bus he constantly stares at me. when I get to skool in the morings he stares at me! He used to like me I think. But I want to know if he still does. i think he has a girlfriend. Whats something I could just talk about right out of the blue and not sound stupied? (link)
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I do have a web site that has conversation starters on it...I think even for those riding buses. Check it out. :)
http://www.shykids.com/shykidschitchat.htm
It does have a section on talking on the bus! Thought it did. Its the very first topic. :)
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