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is it wrong...
sorry this is so long but... is it wrong not to love your father, now hold on don't blow a gasket i'll explain everything. ya see my dad went to jail when i was really young and and i never got to know him. and my grandperents keep wanting me to go clear across the state to visit him. and i don't wanna spend 5 days in a hot car just to see someone i dont even know for 2 hours. but i feel so ashamed, i feel so self centered, i feel so selfish. i feel like i owe it to him to go. please i want your oupion am i the scum of the earth, or am i ok
please, dont yell at me. i already feel bad enough as it it.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
I don't think you should feel bad. I feel that this is a normal reaction, and I think you should go. Maybe you two can reconnect.
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No, it isn't wrong. You have the right to love/like/hate whomever you choose to.
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OMG it is not your fault if you don't love your father. He went to jail for doing something wrong so you've never actually spent time with him. It's like going to meet a stranger for two hours. Don't worry..you are not a bad person at all. Maybe you aren't ready to meet him now..but maybe you will be later on in life..and when you are, you can go visit him. You are not self centered or selfish and you should not feel ashamed at all. If you don't want to see him, you don't have to. Hope I helped!
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Its not that you dont love your father. Its just that you probly feel hurt that he really hasnt been there for you in the past. Yea you might be mad that he hasnt tried to get in touch with you but maybe he wants to see his child that he never had the chance to see grow up. He probly feels guilty too. But dont feel self-centered. Its a normal feeling. And your not a scum of the earth. You have the right to feel the way you do. And hey, maybe if you go and visit him maybe you can learn more about him. Learn a little bit more of his childhood..his past. Just follow your heart.
Katina*
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Listen I know how you feel. I've been trough worse. My dad he goes to jail to for a couple of hours for fighting with people. He ALWAYS makes an excuse to not come to my b-day. He told me I had a brother and a sister in P.R when I was 8. And SO MUCH MORE. But if you haven't met him B4 then I think you should take a chance. I gave my dad a chance, so I think you should too. GOOD LUCK!!
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It's fine that you don't love your father. It isn't fine if you hate him. It isn't really fine if you dislike him even, if you ask me. If you don't know him, then you really shouldn't judge that he is going to be a bad guy, he could be really nice, although the chances of that in prison are a little slimmer.
Do you live with your grandparents? What about your mother? Anyway, just wondering why your grandparents had such an influence on telling you where to go...
You say that you feel like you owe it to him to go. I think you owe it to him too. Aren't you even curious to know what kind of a guy he is? Don't you want a reason to be proud of, or angry with him?
At the very least, you should see that going to see him might be the only bright spot in his long life in prison.
Then again; maybe he doesn't want to see you. Do you know? How do your grandparents know that he even wants to see you? Maybe he's a child-molesting creep, who wouldn't want to see his own son. Perhaps you should talk to him on the phone before you spend those 5 days in a hot car.
In the end, it's not "wrong" not to love him. Give him a chance to know you, and perhaps he will win your love. Or at least give you a reason to not love him.
-K
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This may sound harsh but what did he ever do for you? He isn't a father hes a sperm donor. A father would have been there a shared your life not sitting in jail. You are not being a bad person.You owe the man nothing. Most people do not go to prisons just to talk to strangers. It doesn't make your grandparents bad either. I will assume they are dads parents and they think they are doing the right thing. I found a web site you might find interesting. If you ever have questions they can even help you out. rather than explain it, I'll just let you check it out. :)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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yeh don't worry about it just go for it. I know you probably don't want to but maybe you should after all he is your father. I don't see my father but still Its not wrong not to love your father! You don't even know him. So just go and say hi i mean take it with a pinch of salt. I don't blame you i would not want to go. i would feel ashamed aswell so don't worry. good luck lv sweetcorn
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You shouldn't judge yourself in comparison to others when you obviously don't have a 'normal' relationship with your father. As you said, you don't know him and I'm guessing your feeling fairly weird about actually meeting him (I know i would). But you're worried that it is wrong not to love your father, but how can you love someone you've never met? I don't think you're selfish or self-centered, I think your concern is natural but you are putting unfair pressure on yourself. If your father wasnt around for your young life then you don't 'owe' him your love- he needs to earn it. Go to see him when you are ready and don't feel ashamed in the meantime.
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dear asker ♥ you don`t not love your father, you may not like him but that is just because you have not gotten the chance to know him. you`re not scum on earth either. i would be scared to, meeting someone so close to me for the first time. maybe you should tell your grandparents how you feel. tell them that you are scared to go meet your father. i`m sure they will understand. i hope i helped.
next time you need advice
just drop one in my inbox
---> xOxO Alexxa ♥
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