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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
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How can i avoid my cheating boy friend
I will assume that you haven't a choice because you go to school with him and he's in your classes, or you work in the same company. That will make it difficult to avoid him. Be civil/polite but not overly friendly. Say or do nothing to encourage him to pursue you again. If you doesn't know why you dont want anything to do with him, just avoiding and not bringing up the subject is not going to help. The adult thing to do is to let him know why you are avoiding him and want no relationship with him. If he calls or texts, just ignore and don't answer. If no other gal is available to entertain him, he may pester you and repeatedly thinking he can wear you down so that you will finally respond. Just do not respond, no matter what he texts or what he writes on FB. He might try to get a reaction out of you so you're mad enough to respond, that only encourages him. Total silence is much better. Eventually he will give up.
Hey guys,
Look. I've a problem which i believe is my fault as well. The thing is, i'm still in my teen year, below 19 and for some reason, i feel as if.. i don't know. I want to focus on studies and get a great university in the future, in two 1/2 years time and i don't.. i don't want this feeling. I don't know if it's love or not but i genuinely care for him (same age, but oceans apart, have known him for two years) , he's been through excruciating hardship all these while and all i really want is for him to enjoy his life.
I'd say i'm semi-jovial but thinking of him makes me unhappy. I want him to be happy too. The reason of this feeling is unknown. Another confession is, i did tell him 'Love you' several times but no longer as a friend (don't know if he realises it or not). I mean those words. I would travel there if he needs me to, and i'd be there for him and i'll listen no matter what.
I just.. i don't know it does hurt at the same time too. He did say he liked me before, and he didn't care even if we're of different races or lives but that was before, time and feelings change. I don't know if he has a girlfriend or a crush, but if he does then i'd still be happy for him.
Guys, help me. How do you let your own heart know that you don't want to like a great guy more than a friend anymore? Gotta move on, tried to but failed. How to stop thinking of him and miss him? How?
So you met on internet and likely haven't in person. I will tell you what I learned myself in on-line dating. The person you click with on-line you may not do so with in person. One possibility is you may lack the chemistry. . . no matter how nice he is. It is something I could pick up on in the kiss of greeting...no sparks, no electricity, like being kissed by your brother not a potential lover.
Or the person I was falling for on-line when I finally met in person was nothing at all like he had presented himself to be.
So I am saying there is no guarantee that he would have worked out anyways. Tell that to yourself. All feelings and emotions come from your sub conscious mind. The sub conscious is what also dreams. So if this is what you want to do, visualize yourself getting on a plane and arriving there. He meets you at the airport. You are so excited when you spot him that you run into his arms and he gives you and long hard kiss. Halfway through it though you want to squirm away because it doesn't feel right. You don't like the smell of his breath or the taste or the feel of his kiss. Instead it is turning your stomach. You are beginning to panic cus your there for a 5 day visit and can't imagine how you'll make it through. He'll likely want to make love and you can't even get past the kiss. You try to ignore it go to his place. Walking through his door is like being assaulted by something unpleasant, his place is much too disorganized, cluttered and unpleasant feeling for you. (this happened to me 1st time I went to one really sweet kind man's place.) He starts talking and he has a speech impediment you cant get past, maybe a lisp or he stutters,he's sounds extremely nasel, or a high voice like a female. You thought you could handle it in small talk in the car but now you find this is overload. So right there you tell him that this is not going to work out. If you could, you'd fly home tomorrow... If you can truly picture this in your mind, like watching a movie and get into the emotions of it, this means you have captured the attention of your subconscious, she will decide she is repulsed by him and drop of feelings of the ideal of love she had for him. Good luck.
I'm a 13 year old guy who gets horny a lot. I dont know what to do I masterbate when it gets that bad. But it changes how I feel about girls. And how I talk to them. I get really sweet am they like me and then they think I like them. I dont know what to do. Please help ):
All 13 yr old boys get horny alot...welcome to the human race. LOL
Warning:
Don't ever pretend to like a girl to get sex. You will develop a reputation for being a player. That doesn't help you when you finally do fall for a girl and feel love for her. The good girls are not going to take you seriously.
What you are feeling is lust, not love. Meeting the right girl can change that all for you. When you meet this girl, although you feel aroused by her, your heart and mind has also taken an interest in her. You find yourself wondering what she thinks of you as a person, you want to please her, you want to be near her all the time because just being in her presence makes you feel good. You don't want to ever hurt her feelings or use her. You don't want anyone else to mistreat her either, even her friends, cus now you are feeling protective over her. Your heart skips a beat when she responds to you in conversation...etc... it is a wonderful thing.
Having sex for the first time or first couple times shouldn't be something that you forget cus it was no big thing, just you scratching an itch. It should be memorable, with both you and your girlfriend having deep feelings for each other and wanting to please each other sexually. You both plan it, make it special and likely if she enjoyed it well enough, you've likely just gotten yourself a lover as well as friend.
Sex..... I'm 13, I'm a guy lol,I'm from USA (New York), and willing to have sex. if I ask a girl I really know well, she's sometimes horny and wants to have sex ; i think if I ask her, she will say no and she might tell her friends or say I'm a pervert and slap me. What do I do? ( if it doesn't make sense well my bad because I didn't know how to say it out ;) .)
I like what kittenlover told you. Its true, better to know a gal really well through being her friend and dating her. So are you saying "if I ask a girl I really know well," as a hypothetical what if in the future case scenerio? Or did you mean there is already a girl you do know that well. When you say she's sometimes horny and wants sex, it makes me think this is a real person you're still talking about. So how do you know that she wants sex? Are you guessing from signs you pick up? It could be the signs you take as a girl wanting sex, are simply a girl flirting because she likes you and would like to be your friend and date you. If a girl was horny it depends on the girl as to whether she'd have sex. To take care of their horny feelings, some girls masturbate or use a vibrator. These are the girls who don't want to have sex just to ease an itch. They intuitively seem to understand that a friendship is an important base to any relationship and she would rather wait to have sex with a guy who is like a best friend to her and they have developed feelings of love...not lust for each other. This is the kind of sex that is most rewarding for both people. Yes, this might be the type of girl who would get upset if you asked her. As was already explained there are the trashy girls who will have sex with anyone almost...I suppose she has to think the guy is cute for her personal tastes. Many of the gals who are easy to have sex with have a low self esteem. They feel better when a guy pays attention to them. They choose to believe the lust is love. And so they come with all the hormonal problems of a young female who is angry when she finds the guy didn't really want to date her but just wanted sex. She may try to latch onto you and bug the heck out of you to convince you to date her. Too much drama and not worth it in my book.
Another thing I would suggest you keep in mind is that at 13, very few girls are on contraceptives yet. So if you hope for convincing one of the nice girls at a party or some other event, you're taking a great chance at getting her pregnant.
Better for you to get to know her. Then later when you have feelings for each other have discussions about having sex the first time together. I have heard from girls in your age range who want to have their first time but most have not considered birth control yet. Use condoms against STDs but Dont rely on it for birth control. If you had a girlfriend who is considering having sex with you for the first time, it might be a nice gesture to accompany her to Planned parenthood where she can get the pill or the shot, something more trusty than a condom.
For English we're supposed to rewrite a movie script based on a popular book and we need to recast the characters. I can't come up with someone at all for todays actors of who would play a good Peter Pan. Can anyone give me suggestions please?
It has to be someone who still has that young kid look, so how about Justin Beiber?
hi..i got my period on aprl 13th..on 19,20,21 i had sex and tuk two pils unwantd 72 and mistake pil..on 28,29 i hd sex and tuk postpone 72 pil..hd sex on 5,6th bt usd cmdm..got my period on june 8th..nw in july i havent got my date yet..wl i b pregnant or do u thnk due to pil overdose my body got afctd?
Everyone is right...you are very hard to understand. I am not sure that you writing us back a second time is going to help. These days, even I have trouble with writing even though it was my best subject in school. Between my brain and my fingers, things get scrambled and i have to double check everything i type. (I have fixed 3 errors in what i have just typed so far.) Please double check before you click send.
You wrote: "i had sex and tuk two pils unwantd"
I gather from this you took two pills right after having sex. but the word unwanted does not make sense. Is that the word you wanted to use? Because if you did not want to take the pills, no one was going to force you to. See, it doesn't make sense.
I have a feeling that either you don't know how, or have forgotton how the pill works. Because doubling up on any kind of medicine...contraceptive, heart meds, pain killers, etc...is a BIG NO-NO!!!! Instead of helping to do its job, it can have bad effects on your body. The number 72 means nothing to me, just confuses me.
Next: "and mistake pil on 28,29: I have to guess again what you meant. Did you mean to say, I mistakenly took the pill on 28 and 29? Are we talking about the days that you are supposed to rest from taking the pill?
So far, you double up on pills and then take them when you should stop for a couple days. Not a good track record of contraceptive taking.
Next: "i hd sex and tuk postpone" Since there are no dots/periods to signify the end of any sentence my best guess is that this is an entire sentence--- I had sex and took postpone. Is Postpone the brand name of your contraceptive pill
Next: "hd sex on 5,6th bt usd cmdm." To state that a condom was used only this one time implies that you usually do not use one. If you are on the pill, that is enough protection against pregnancy so there is no need for using one. The only need for a condom is if you used one all the time for protection against STDs. But that's not what you said. So what are you trying to tell us by saying you used a condom?
Next: "got my period on june 8th..nw in july i havent got my date yet." First of all, it is not July yet. So I have to hope that you meant June. And instead of the word "date" I assume you meant "period".
End result, you want to know if your body is affected by your not keeping strictly to the dosage schedule. YES, i am sure it is. Since this is so difficult, you need to take something more carefree where you don't have to worry about taking anything on a schedule.
As I see it, you have 3 choices, 2 are hormonal based. If you are not having side affects like headaches, tender breasts, weight gain, etc... from hormones, then either one should be safe. One is the Birth control shot which you can get from your dr or planned parenthood.
How Does It Work?
The hormone progesterone in the birth control shot primarily works by preventing ovulation (the release of an egg during the monthly cycle). If a girl doesn't ovulate, she cannot get pregnant because there is no egg to be fertilized. The only catch is that it is good for only 3 months and you need to make an appt and not forget to get another shot before your 3 months run out or you become pregnant.
The other hormonal choice would the the Mirena, an IUD which means
Intra-Uterine Device, an object that is placed inside your uterus. Mirena prevents pregnancy for up to five years after insertion. The last choice is another IUD, non hormonal one, the ParaGard made of copper and it is good for 10 years.
So the shots are still a hassle with going every 3 months for your appointment to get a shot, not good if you hate shots and forget appointments.
So I would recommend you try one of the IUD's.
Good luck. And just double triple check your writing work from now on...I know how it is, i have to also.
Hi I am a 14 year old girl and I might be a bit of something you would call a hypochondriac. Almost every disorder or illness I hear about I look it up and start worrying that I have or will get it to no end.(they never came true) This past month I've been a lot lot better then I was last year. There's still a little bit of the old me still there and I want to be carefree(not completely carefree) but just to the point where I don't worry about silly things so I would like to change my perspective on life. I want to be optimistic and fearless but in order to get there I need to get past this obstacle, right? How do I do so?
All your feelings and emotions which includes fears and worries comes from your subconscious mind. I am guessing your sub needs some reassurance that you are not going to catch everything or get a disease. Your subconscious is right now a scared little child, call her your inner child. Instead of being carefree, she is over absorbed with worry of becoming ill. I am not saying you are a child, everyone has an inner child no matter how old we get. Lets say for example yours is 3 or 4 years old. How easily are kids that age spooked or scared?
What I think will reassure her is if you began to be proactive about your health, not worrying what might happen if you sit around doing nothing. Read up on natural health. On line or magazines. A good one to start with is
http://www.wholeliving.com/about-body-and-soul-magazine
I would save and re-read these magazine and found almost every article was helpful to me.
Health is more than a physical thing, our mental and emotional state can affect our physical health, also spiritual health is important too but that can come later. So I recommend you meditation, yoga for the stretching of your muscles, some kind of aerobic exercise like dancing, skipping rope or plain skipping down the sidewalk. Start watching what you eat. Stop any artificial sweeteners (they are all poison) and stick with pure cane sugar. Once you read up on the subject you'll know what I mean. Many so called foods are artificial substitutes. Take margarine for example, your body doesnt know what to do with it so it just builds up inside you over a life time and can cause problems in later age. Butter is much healthier even though it is fat. Just use it in moderation. There is so much you could study and learn.
There is so much toxins in our food today that we can't avoid it totally, you'd have to stop eating. But one way I have experienced my body being cleansed of some toxins is Gong therapy. That is listening to a gong played for maybe 20 min to 1/2 hour.Your in the room with the gong and can feel the reverberations going through your body like waves hitting the shore at the beach. This is much like being near the speakers at a concert where you can feel the beat inside your body. Unfortunately, rock music doesnt have healing therapys on the body. Copper Tibetan singing bowls works as well, same as Crystal singing bowls. Have fun looking those up and listening to examples on You tube. If you can, read up about Chakras, energy centers in your body that can become stuck by what you are experiencing in life. If stuck too long, the organs near that chakra can experience problems but take can also take a life time to get bad. It is better to have someone check and balance your chakras or learn to do it yourself. Reiki is one of the methods. A master of Reiki teaches you how to do your own chakras for a price. $200. or so. Its less expensive to buy a book on it. I would recommend Magick and Reiki by Chris Penczak. Although not a book on strictly traditional Reiki, it is to me more helpful because it incorporates using our minds in thoughts, will, and intent, especyially visualization with some of his pagan rooted beliefs. Coming from a Christian background, I find nothing threatening or evil connected to what he teaches. Often in studying alternative health practices some churches will label everything bad simply because of the belief system of the person practicing healing. My church forbade us to see an acupuncturist because its evil. No other explanation other than they are Buddhist or something. Your objective is to become well informed so that you feel you have a comfortable control and rein on what goes on with your body. Training your mind to be creative and visual will be part of it. Try this, next time your mind is worrying about you might be getting sick. Close your eyes, take 3 deep breaths. Now visualize in your mind a jar of magick pills. Make the jar look any way you want. See yourself opening the jar and taking two pills. You decide if they are to be swallowed or chewables. These pills have an effect on your mind, they heal your mind of worry about health. Thats their purpose. Stop and do this any time you have an issue.
I also recommend this web page:
http://www.naturalnews.com/033652_alternative_news_headlines.html
Good luck dear.
I hope to become a singer/songwriter in the near future and I'm trying to find a name. I do not like my last name, but I'm willing to work with my first and middle name which is: Jenna Michelle. My genre is contemporary christian, nothing too edgy. I want something that will sound good on a CD and will give people something to notice.
People will notice and resonate with just about anything after a while. Think about some of the bands out there. In bands, there is one using a vowel and a number as their name, bizarre. U2 is widely accepted and not even questioned as a name.
My girls when younger liked Christian singer Tammy Trent. You know Trent is not her last name but the first name of her deceased husband. That goes to show it doesn't really matter.
Lets look at some other female singers:
Amy Grant (simple and plain easy to say)
Jaci Velasquez (too big a mouth full)
Natalie Grant (musical sounding)
Next: homophones—words that sound alike but have different meanings
Michelle Tumes (I equate with Tombs in my head. Would have been better using middle name, Michelle Louise)
Carolyn Arends (I equate with errands.The middle name is Bernice, I dont like that any better) My focus is so drawn to the homophone like last name that I tend to forget the first name." Whats the first name of that Tombs singer or the Errands singer?"
and lastly
Jenna Michelle. Easy to say, rolls off the tongue and goes well together, musical. the only other name in my list that equals the quality of yours is Natalie Grant. You have a winner. Go with it. Blessing on your venture.
What could be wrong with me, whenever i have a romance with my boyfriend and when he sucks my breast i feel some pains in the breast even after the foreplay. unless i stop for a very long time before it stops. what could be the reason?
Lets get this clear, the pain is only when he plays with your breast, not when theres play with your clit or intercourse right?
I would say he is being too rough with you. While there is a certain firmness in the hand grabbing the breast that is okay for each woman, each has a point at which just the teeniest bit more pressure causes a pain already. When you say Ow...he should stop what he is doing immediately or you could be bruising your self. As for the nipple, any use of teeth on it will produce pain as it is very sensitive area, especially at the tip. The sucking motion of a man should mimic what a baby does breast feeding and it won't hurt. The aereola, the area around the nipple is the part that gets sucked on. In the beginning, I did not get any sensations when having my breasts sucked but it developed later. There seems to be a great connection, a tingling in the breast with the feeling of electric bolts that connect to your sexual parts so the stimulation of both at the same time is very pleasurable. If you aren't feeling it yet, don't have him work harder on the breast, that won't make it happen. It will happen on its own one day. I think it was a whole year later before I was able to be aroused by stimulating my breast.
When you say a very long time...thats not specific enough. After foreplay, are you saying the pains are there for an hour before they stop,
a couple hours or all night before they stop, a whole day before they stop? If its closer to a week before they stop, then I'd wonder if something else is going on. Go see your Dr if it persists for longer than it takes your body to normally recover from mild bruising.
About two nights ago I went over to my friend micheals house, we ended up having sex. We didn't use protection but I am on the pill I have been on it for about 7 days now. Michael and I have had sex before, and the last time I ended up telling my mom the day after and the next day she took me to the doctor and got me tested for STD'S and put me on birth control my results came back clean, that was about 2 months ago. Ever since having sex with him again, I have realized that I have gotten red bumps on my leg I don't know if they have anything to do with what I did with him or if they're flea bites because I have also been dog sitting. I don't have any bumps on my vagina yet they're only at the bottom of my legs and they appeared the very next day after inter course, I put Neosporin on them yesterday but they haven't gone away they have only gotten worse, and more have appeared over night. I have also noticed that when I went to the bathroom this morning I had a dark brown discharge, I googled what that could be and the results varied from STDS, to signs of pregnancy, to just being blood mixed with the discharge. I didn't get a clear answer. The night Michael and I had sex was the night after I got off my period. I was thinking about going to the pharmacy and buying the morning after pill (which is what I did last time) but I figured the birth control was enough, but now after seeing the brown discharge I am having my second doubts.
What do you think the red bumps are from? do you think the brown discharge could be a sign of pregnancy? Could the red bumps on my leg be scabies? What do I do? do I have a bigger chance of getting pregnant since I had sex the day after I got off my period or do I have less of a chabce. I don't want to tell my mom about this again because last time she flipped out and I told her that what happened between Michael and I would never happen again, but it did and now i'm fearing every possible thing that could go wrong is going to go wrong. am I over thinking this or should I tell my mom and take yet another trip to the doctor. Also, I know nothing about Michael's past with girls, I have no idea how many he's been with or who he's been with, but he has been my first everything.. HELP!
Read the insert that comes with your pills for explanation on how long before its effective. I have read that it also depends on what type of pill you are taking and at what point in your cycle you were when you started taking them.
Also put the name of your pill, it's medical name for the type of hormone it is into a google search and read up on the side effects of it. Many women suffer from one side effect or another. Others are not effected at all. I was not on the pill but still got brown discharges at times in my life when my period was late due to stress or being sick. Being on the pill can affect your cycle also. As for bumps on your upper thighs, it could simply be from both your own and his sex fluids. Not always but at times my husband and I will get those little bumps. It's from the skin being damp all night as we slept or a combo of how strong our fluids were. What you eat changes the taste of your fluids and i assume also the sharpness of it as far as having an irritating effect on the skin. Thats why we don't always have it. A good thing to try is washing up right after sex. You could Make it something special with your boyfriend getting a nice warm wet washcloth and thoroughly wiping your intimate area's clean. It's very special experience. If you routine wipe up afterwards, the irritation should go away. If it doesn't see a doctor. Also, you may not have to see the doctor for any questions but his assistant or staff may be able to answer you over the phone about how long to be on your particular pill before its effective in case you've lost the paperwork. If you have the name of it though, start by looking it up on line. I've done that for other girls when they give the name of their medication. I dont know why they couldnt find it on their own. Each type of contraceptive will also have lots of womens comments on how good or bad it is. Usually the bad effects listed.
K so i am 12 and this guy started to sit by me all the time and copy me cuz we sat a table awy for lunch and i thought he was just doing it to annoy me but my friend knew he wasnt but she didnt tell me thn she told himtht i hated himbut i have liked him for like evr anywy wen she told him i hated him i wsntthere and he kept sayinghehated her so i kept asking himy but he wouodnt tell thn he rote it on a note and meand her have been groeing aprt since thn wat happened wewere the best of friends
No matter what was said about you to him or him to anyone else, the fact is, his actions speak louder than words. He is still showing he is interested in you by sitting near you and paying attention to you.
If she doesnt have a boy who likes her, then most likely your friend is jealous of you that you have one and she doesn't. Or perhaps secretly she has had a crush on him and would never admit it in a million years. That's enough reason in her mind to be upset and withdraw from friendship with you. I know, it's silly but at that age, you gotta admit you all are just learning about attraction, dating and sex...a whole new exciting world to discover and not one of you has prior experience, you all have to learn from the very beginning. So just like with tests in school you kids will be bound to make mistakes but need to view them as learning experiences. Your girlfriend is in a learning experience of learn how to be happy for you and not jealous. Only you could know if there was something else, that you said or did to her to upset her enough to make her grow apart from you. But I am willing to bet it's over this boy. Give her time, she likely will eventually come around to wanting to be friends again.
Yo wassup? I'm 13 years old, living in NY. I'm a guy.
Many of my friends got girlfriends. They say they had sex with them . I'm the only one that haven't had sex yet. My problem is I want to have sex with someone but I don't know with who or how to solve the sex problem about my friends.
I agree that the guys are likely all telling tall tales. If a guy has to brag about it to his friends, it's probably not true. The really good guy, when he does have sex with his lady is not going to go around school or town, telling everyone about it. That is something precious between two people who really care about each other. To tell everyone when you have really had sex makes the whole act now demeaning to her. If she hears you go around telling or it gets back to her and you really did love her, you just lost her. If those girls who are being talked about find out what their boyfriends are saying, there'll be hell to pay. Quite a few will break up with them for lying about her.
What you need to do is decide for what reason you want to have sex.
Is it to fit in with the guys? Wait til you are older and have a close female friend that you have sexual chemistry with.
Or is it because your sex drive is making you go crazy? Masturbate as often as you can to take care of it.
Experiencing sex isn't something to be rushed through just for the sake of being able to say you are no longer a virgin. Those who do have sex at your age just to do it, will not find it to be anything special if there is no connection to the girl friendship wise and more. The guys will get their BJ or sex and have their sex craving satisfied for a couple hours maybe. But thats it, their heart and their minds are not in it. And its worse for the girls if the boy doesnt know to give equal time to pleasing them.
During your time spent waiting to meet the girl your heart falls for use this time to read books, study all you can on how to relate to girls and read up on sex. You don't have to know it all. I think you could learn lots of helpful info on dating and sex on Youtube. Look up Laci Green I love her short 3 or 4 min videos. She's funny but has all the facts straight. Please check this out. Wish you the best.
Im only 14 I HATE MYSELF i have scars on my wrist and thats why.. I want to know how to get rid of them without surgery!! Please! Someone! Anyone! Let me know!! I want my scar free wrist back. I'll do anything to have it back. Please sometime help fast! I can't take it
I am glad to hear you are no longer cutting yourself. People have scars for many reasons. They are like a road map of places we've been or ordeals we had to go through like surgery, childhood scrapes cuts and gashes. Some people have stretch marks from a quick gain of weight and they can look like long scars. Quite a few have written to ask how to get them to heal faster or disappear totally as you've asked. I dont know of any.
Perhaps a plastic surgeon but do the parents even have that kind of money? You'd have to ask to see if one even does that kind of fixup or if its even possible.
Since the issue is how you feel about yourself as you see your wrists, I would suggest you find a way to cover them with bracelets of your choice, like lots of cloth woven friendship type bracelet, enough so that they cover the 3 or so inches you need to cover. I make my own beaded bracelets with beads and stretchy cord from Michaels because I have wrists too small for most bangles and bracelets. I will wear 8 or so in a row, all made to hug my skin so they can't catch on anything. This would cover a wrist well and there are some bigger ones ready made to buy where one or two together may cover the area. You might find something cool at a store like hot topic, a leather cuff that goes all the way around the wrist and is wide.
It will take time but as you grow older the scars should become fainter. You need to get past the next couple years without having a low self esteem, any depression, or any self hatred. We all make choices we regret later, some aren't as devastating as other peoples but when its ourself, we take it very seriously. I hope this helps you some dear.
I've been in a situation when me and mom don't get along and it's gotten worse i live with my dad and step mom while my mom lives two hours away I don't get to see her often and when I try to she doesn't have time for me I have been talking to people like my dad about it but every day it eats me up I get upset about her and it hurts me I've gone to council ing but she told me it was my fault and I ruined our relationship when I left I was 8 at that time and now I'm 15 I miss my mom so much but I hate feeling like I'm walking on eggshells when I'm around her we constantly fight and I don't know what to do anymore I'm tired of crying at night any advice?
Did your dad have any suggestions? Is he willing to talk to her? I don't know what circumstances had you being separated at 8, your choice or dad winning custody. Either one probably hurt your mom in ways that she never was able to get over. For her to blame you now for something that happened years ago shows she hasn't moved on with her life. She is miserable so she wants to make everyone else miserable and that includes pushing you away, keeping you at arms length and picking fights. Sometimes we end up with a parent that acts more like a kid. Its sad, but it isn't age that makes one mature you know. My daughters grew up with a dad who was immature. It was like I was counseling them how to handle a pesky bratty younger brother instead of their dad.
You can pray for her but there is nothing you can do to make her change. We only have control of ourselves and how we change and grow. So don't allow moms behavior to suck you in to becoming stuck too just because you don't have your mom around for the mother figure you need during your teen years. You need to be able to forgive her. She is just another soul like you on this earth who has some important lessons to learn in life. Think of your moms rejection as an opportunity for you to learn to build your own character in ways you might not have otherwise. Sometimes this means being willing to reach out for help. Your dads choice of a new wife was not your choice for a mom substitute so I don't expect that to necessarily work. But see if you can think of any other women who could be that mother figure to you. It takes humbling yourself but it can be done. When my parent died early and the kids had one less set of grandparents, we asked an older couple we knew who wanted grandkids but didnt have any yet if they would like to be honorary grandparents to our kids. They were delighted. Our kids had many happy times with them. Do you have aunts, or moms of your girlfriends that you especially like. You get to pick out the honorary mom you want...not to replace mom, but to take care of the emotional and nurturing needs you have right now. I am serious about this hon. You have perhaps heard of the big brothers, big sisters program. They match you up with someone. It may not be someone around your moms age,likely college age and you may need to qualify somehow since social workers are supposed to keep tabs on the both of you to see how things are going. I still vote for finding your own mom substitute. Maybe your step mom is perfect. If you like her but don;t get that motherly feeling from her,tell her what you are hoping to do, find an honorary mom for your self. And as much as you love her, she doesn't inspire in you the feeling of mom and you feel you don;t click enough. Ask her if she'd still be interested in helping you find that person, perhaps one of her girl friends is willing and perfect. Your dad and step mom will need to know what you're doing and who you are meeting with so they can rest assured you are in the best hands. Good luck dear.
Ok so im 14/f and the boy is 13. Im going to highschool next year and weve reccently started flirting alot. Ive liked him for about a year now. 2 nights ago we were at a school trip to a 4 day camp and on the last bonfire day, we sat together. He held my hand and pulled me closer because I was shivering, he put his arm around me and gave me hugs after we had to go to bed. I like him alot and he likes me alot. Problem is that we wont get to see each other very much after school ends. He wants to date me but in highschool. I dont really think it will end up being that way because ive ben in the situation with my ex boyfriend. I want to date him so badly. Hes the perfect guy for me and everytime I felt like moving on, something didnt let me inside. We are going to hangout soon alone and he really wants to kiss or makeout with me. Im ready for that. But I want it to last forever. What can I do to keep our relationship strong until hes in highschool?
Adviceman gave you great advice. I will continue from there. Since you are a year older and will be in high-school while he's completing a final year in middle school, there will be a whole year you are moving in separate circle s and may not see lots of each other. When there is a factor of time keeping you from each other, a relationship will grind to a halt. It cannot thrive when you haven't the time to put into it. You mention a ex boyfriend, so you are contemplating moving on to a new one with the guy a yr older and the pattern of dating several people before you settle on one to marry one day has started. I know that these days so many pre teens are experimenting with sex now at ages 10 on up. Your body matures before your mind does. Keep this in mind when you are making any decisions during your teen years cus your mind doesnt catch up and become mature until mid 20's.I know you are going to do what your inner voice, heart and your mind are telling you whether it will be the best decision in the end or not. Just don't be hard on yourself but learn from each experience and use the knowledge to help you make a better decision the next time. So if you are so determined to have sex with the younger guy soon as you say, go to Planned Parenthood. There is no age limit, no one is turned away. Get on contraceptives. Once you start the ball rolling (sexual experience), it is
hard to go back to choosing not to. So decide if you want to really do that now or wait another year or two.
Does anybody know how to put pictures on face book with a digital camera ?
We take the memory card out of our camera and plug it into the computer and download onto there first. For some places, you may have to downsize your photos before you can have ease of downloading to Facebook. I will assume you know how to use facebooks photo albums, creating one and downing pics on it from your pc. Facebook has instructions. If you can't figure it out, ask us again when you get to that point
I have to do semi-structured interview with single parents to get their lived experiences of being a single parent. REally struggling to come up with questions.
Got things like how have friends, family society treated you. tell me about your experiences of bieng single parent etc.
Its not about getting truths out of people just experiences of brining up a child as the lone parent lived it and experienced it or percieved it.
Here's a few more questions:
How do you explain to the kids the reason for them not having the other parent?
What do you choose to hold back from telling them so they aren't hurt or confused?
Is it easier to get the kids to obey because they don't have the other parent to play off of?
Have you ever had to fill the part of the other parent and felt uncomfortable or out of your league.\give some examples. (this would be like dad taking a daughter bra shopping, or mom having the sex talk with a son....)
Imagine how you would have felt as a child having one parent and that may give you perspective of what the single parent is up against and you'll get inspiration for more questions
I'm 24 n dating a guy younger than me, we together for a year n our parents are aware we planning to get married next year.
My mom was on hospital for 10 days, I visited her twice a day n took cooked food n snacks! My bf visited every evening. Mum was released friday and I've been taking care of her since, sunday her brother flew down from another city to visit her. He never called once before saturday to find out anything , sunday evening mum asks my bf to hide in the room as her younger brother is coming to visit.she said her brother will insult her n ask questions as my bf is not rich . I found that rude n disgusting considering how much my bf has done , I then said I am going to go out for dinner with my bf and she can spend time with her brother ! She always worried what her brother says and puts him first, since sunday she has been sending me n my bf bad msgs calling me a bitch n telling me to leave her house ! This is not the first time !
Your mom has a longer history with her brother. Yes she may be afraid of his behavior. Whether she ever tried standing up to him in her life or not, we don't know. If she is acting so insulted, she may have learned that there is no way to every win any stance or argument with her brother,your uncle, and was simply wanting to save you the heartache of an uproar from him targeted on you and bf. From how you wrote, it sounds as if your Mom was accepting of him no matter what his financial status. Maybe it wasnt the best way to do it but if I got a call that a very difficult relative was on their way about to knock on my door, honey, I would have panicked too as I wouldn't have had the luxory of time to think it out. And loving my daughters as I do, I would not have wanted them and their boyfriends to get verbally attacked by him. It's early on, your bf may not know about all the other people in your family yet. I don't know what you said to mom. But I'd say her feeling are hurt by what you said or even the horrified look on your face would be enough. You came up with the best idea..leaving the house quickly to go out to dinner to leave her time with her brother. I think you may want to give her time to get over her anger and then you need to talk. Find out if my scenerio is what was really going on and if so, then apologize and thank her for wanting to protect you and bf, should say fiancee, from the uncles tirade. Either way, you need to find a way to repair things with mom so that you can have a wonderful wedding with her being a big part of it. You may want to discuss what to do about the uncle in that scenerio....invite him or not. If might seem best to not invite but he will hear from someone and wonder why he never knew you were engaged, and why he wasn't invited. So at some point in the future you may hear from him unkindly anyways. Or ask her if she thinks it is okay to invite him but with ground rules. You may write inside the invitation that he was never told about your engagement because of the family knowing how opinionated he can be. Everyone else approves of your fiancee and you will marry him. As your uncle, you would love him to be present to experience this important event in your life IF he can be truly happy for you and not become verbally out of control in a way that threatens the joy of your wedding. You will appoint a couple people to escort him off the premises if he can not be kind or he has the choice to not attend the wedding. And do appoint a couple beefy friends who would be willing to play the bar bouncers if needed.
No real names/places are being used in this.
Hi.
So, my great-grandmother who lives in Kentucky recently passed away on Thursday. I was supposed to be going out of town Sunday morning and coming back Monday night. Last minute, my dad wasn't able to get off work so we weren't able to make it. (This is in June.) April 29th, I had a "one night stand" with a guy who means nothing to me. In May, my period came super late. I was worried, thinking I was pregnant, but then my period came at the VERY end of the month so I thought I was fine. I've been seeing a new guy, "Kyle." Well, the Thursday I found out my grandmother had passed away, I took a cheap pregnancy test a friend had because I was feeling sick and had been throwing up. When I see cheap, I really mean a cheap dollar store one she had at home. It came back positive. I was really scared and confused. Instead of telling my boyfriend and friends that I wasn't going out of town, I made them believe I was still just so I could lay in bed those two days and think about everything. A friend of mine ended up going to my boyfriend and friend, Kelsey, apartment and told them I wasn't out of town. Now they all hate me. I tried apologizing and telling them why I did it, but they hate me. It wasn't intended to hurt them or anything. It just gave me a day or two by myself without anyone asking questions.
Please help me. What do I do?
Give them time. They will come around. They need to get over the fact that you wouldnt come to them and confide in them and lean on them for support. Maybe they care about you that much and thats why they are so hurt. If they really are true friends, they will get over it and forgive you. You dont have to do anything but give them a couple days or a week and then contact them to do something together.
I think part of the problem these days is knowing how much to confide in others and how much is too much because so many are quick to say TMI. too much information.
As for the predicament that started this all, Honey, next time please remember you can go to Planned parenthood and they can check to see if you're pregnant or not. Better yet is for you to go see them right now and get on some birth control...dont count on condoms...those are good for not getting STD's but if counting on for not getting pregnant, it could have a rip or tear in it...thats happened to me, or there is leakage along the side or it slips off him as he withdraws and remains inside...thats happened alot. It depends how quicking a guy shrinks after ejaculating. So go see them about a contraceptive. Research them ahead on the web. There are side effects to the hormonal ones. Many women have those side effects and are writing in here for advice. You may be lucky and not get them. But know what they are and dont choose to put up with them. The best alternative in that case is the copper IUD. Read up on the side effects and benefits of that. Good luck dear
I have trouble dealing with my shyness. It prevents me from making friends and asking girls out what should I do?
First let me give you some examples of how shy I was to start so that you know you can overcome shyness too. You don't need fancy self help books, or counseling, just that feeling of “feeling tired of being shy” and a determination to overcome it.
As a child and teen in school, I was so terrified of being called on that I would avoid contact with the teachers eyes, if called upon, it didnt matter if I knew the answer or not, all attention was on me and the feeling of 28 pairs of eyes staring at me was excruciating so I'd quickly say, “I don't know” so she'd move on to someone else. If my pencil needed sharpening I would not get up to sharpen and continue to try to write with a blunt tip until the teacher noticed and sharpened it for me. I wasn't even brave enough to ask her to do it for me. I couldn't do it because everyone I thought would be staring at me to see what I was doing. It wasn't until my late teen years that I finally grew tired of being so shy and being religious, I decided to pray and ask God for help. What I share with you now is exactly what he told me to do. On each step, take as much time as you need. Enjoy some success with it before moving on. There is no time limit in which to complete a step, If it takes a week or a month or more...thats okay.
1. Make eye contact with and smile at everyone you come across today. If you're so shy you have trouble with this, you need to master this.
2. Do the same as in step one but add saying “Hi” “Hello” “Good morning” etc to the person. It may seem insignificant reading this. But it was harder when I tried because I feared that if I greeted a person, they would start a real conversation with me and I was terrified of that. If this is your fear too, lay it to rest. The majority of the extroverts, the out going persons who actually start a conversation with someone is maybe 2 in every 50...not many. In a company of 200 employees I had a position where I had to interact with every dept besides my own. Work related conversations were the norm, asking for what you needed. But I was always the one who started up a friendly non work related talk with others. Maybe 1 person each month started the conversation first.
3. Add to your greeting of Hello, a comment about the weather, or compliment them on something. If its a guy compliment a girl, older gals can tell when its a true compliment or the guy trying to hit on them. They have a sense. Remember this is your training, tell yourself it's not a pick up line to find a partner. How about “I really liked the book report you gave the other day.” or “Those are really nice earrings” Most will say thankyou. If you see a funny look in their eyes, quickly add, “It looks like my moms/sisters taste in earrings, I want to get them for her Birthday.” Usually everyone responds with thankyou. Thats the end of it. Only a minor few will feel they have to reciprocate and compliment you back. This all may seen a big step but it really isnt if you have truly mastered the smile, eye contact and greeting part. It's the natural progression from there.
4. Last step, you can drop the greetings part for you are going to start up a real conversation with a total stranger based on where you are at the time and what you are doing. At a clothing sales rack at the store, as soon as someone else joins you there, pick out two tops/ shirts or whatever and ask, “Hey, mind if I ask your opinion? Which is these do you think looks better for me?” And hold them up to you one by one. Most people love to give their advice or opinion. We tend to give it even when not asked for it. LOL Or find the clerk at the dressing room and ask her. It will take you planning ahead thinking of all the places you frequent, and how you might start up a conversation.
Like how to start one while waiting at a bus stop with someone. 'Wish this bus would hurry up and get here. Do you think it's on schedule or late?” and later, “I take the bus to save on gas and wear and tear on the car but I still drive. Do you drive too or strictly take the bus?” Sometimes once you started the first couple questions, if the other is in the mood to talk they will change the subject and make a comment or ask you something. You will want to give the greatest amount of time to this step because it involves lots of creative thinking to coming up with ways to start a conversation, even if thats not your strong point, it can be done.