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should i lose my virginity?

Question Posted Thursday June 20 2013, 5:30 pm

i'm 13 i've been with my boyfriend for 9 months and i kind of want to sex. idk though. help!?

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MrWombat answered Saturday June 22 2013, 7:59 pm:
Don't. "Kind of want to" and "idk" is nowhere near good enough. There'll always be guys wanting to sex you for the next 15 years - you have plenty of time to leave it until you actually want to.

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lightoftruth answered Thursday June 20 2013, 10:52 pm:
You shouldn't have sex when you're not sure. Kind of is not sure. When you are having doubts, you don't have sex.

I'm sure you're aware of things that can happen if you do have sex.
If you do decide to have sex, make sure you're on birth control because you don't want to get pregnant. Also, use condoms.

One of the consequences of having sex is pregnancy. I'm sure being 13, you're not ready to be a mother. You definitely don't have the money to take care of a child.
Also STDs, so you need to be aware of these things.
Besides those two, your body just isn't ready. I'm sure you only started your period a couple years ago. So your body is still growing and it will hurt like crazy if you have sex right now. It'll be enjoyable to your partner but it won't be fun for you.
Also, sex is an intimate thing. A lot of girls just jump in because they think it will be fun and it won't effect them at all. But I've known lots of girls who have suffered emotionally because it ended up being a big deal.

I'd suggest you wait until you are older. You've only been with your boyfriend for 9 months. It's better to wait till you are 100% sure.

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Dragonflymagic answered Thursday June 20 2013, 8:34 pm:
Kind of is not a strong enough reason to have sex.
Being curious as to what it feels like is not a strong enough reason to have sex.
Wanting to hold onto a boyfriend who is pressuring you to do this if you care about him, is not a good reason to have sex.

At your age, there is no reason to hurry to have sex. No its not a bad thing to be a virgin. My 3 daughters knew I would support them if they fell for a guy and in dating him got to the point that she wanted sex. I only wanted to know so I could take them for birth control. Even with the green light to experience sex, none of them did until graduated or 20 or 21. They waited for a guy they really cared about. Not trying to talk you out of it. Just want you to do so because there are enough loving caring feelings between you and it's something you want to do, not that he wants you to do it for him...its a mutual decision.

Perhaps the reason you don't know if you want to have sex is because you have not had a convo with your boyfriend yet. Have a good chat about it. Decide how much you both would be happy with for a first time. Sometimes, just kissing and mutual masturbation is enough for the first few times. You two decide what, and when. However consider first getting on some good birth control whether the pill or the shot. With the pill you have to remember daily to take it or it won't be as effective. With the shot, it's once every 3 months. You can get birth control at Planned Parenthood and don't need parents approval. They don't turn anyone away because of age. Make sure that is part of your planning this out. Good luck dear.

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