I'm glad you like my advice. I'll do the best I can. ^_^
In situations like these, it's tough because you want to listen to your friends. But think about it. If you listened to them, you might miss out on an awesome relationship. One of my friends doesn't like my boyfriend, but I think he's the best thing that ever happened to me. With matters of the heart, you really want to go with...well, your heart. You'll regret it if you have a chance with this guy and don't take it. I mean, I almost said no when this guy invited me out to a movie, but typed "Sure, why not?" instead. We've been together for almost 14 months and have only kind of argued once. Lol. I mean, this guy could be great in a relationship. Your friends aren't the ones that will be dating him. It'll be you. If he annoys them, let him annoy them, as long as he doesn't annoy you. I understand that you value your friends' approval and all that, but as you said. You really like this guy. Go for him, if that's what your heart is telling you to do. Unless your friends know something about him you don't (like he's a player, he's a jerk, he cheats, or he's a bad kisser (lol)), they really have no reason to stop you or want to stop you from dating him. Weigh your choices and make your decision. I hope this helps! If you need/want more/better advice, don't hesitate to bother me again. This is what I'm here for.
-Siren =)

Hey honey, my boyfriend does that to me all the time. Just let him know it bothers you that he doesn't call you back when he says he will. Give the example that you gave us, that he says he'll call in 20 minutes and doesn't call for another 2 hours. You've gotta tell him when stuff bothers you, or he'll never know! I hope this helps! -Siren =)

Talk to him about the way you're feeling. I know exactly how you've felt. I was afraid to let myself get attached to the guy I'm currently with, but one day I let "I love you" slip out, and I really fell for him. It was the smartest thing I've ever done. I've never been happier, and neither has he. My boy and I don't have that much in common either, but you don't really have to, for the relationship to work. Tell him what's going through your head. Maybe he'll be able to console you and make you feel better. Let him know you sometimes think he isn't interested in you, and you worry about getting your heart broken. It's really surprising how good boyfriends are at making you feel better. Give him a chance to show you how good he is at it. I hope this helps!
-Siren =)

Hey Ciara,
Just be straight up and tell him you'd rather not make out every time you kiss. Sometimes a light touch on the lips is nice. Just let him know what you're thinking. You're gonna have to, if you want him to know. Guys aren't psychic, as much as we wish they were...
So just talk to him. He's your boyfriend! He should be understanding and willing to wait until you want to make out to stick his tongue in your mouth. Lol. That's perfectly fine to not want that. I don't like it all the time. *Shrug* I hope this helps!
-Siren =)

Well, there's a loophole in his threat. He said he'd kill her if SHE called the cops. I usually never tell people to do things for other people, but in this case, I think you may have to be the one who calls the cops - or tell your mom and have her call the cops. Rape is serious, and so is physical abuse, which is what he's doing. That's just not cool. If you don't want to tell your mom or dad, you really should tell some adult, and have them call the cops. That way, this Jason guy can't turn on you, even though there was a loophole in his threat. Be careful, though...this guy sounds kind of...um, crazy? I hope this helps, and I hope your friend gets this sorted out.
-Siren =)

Well, the way I see it, it's usually the mother that points out when she thinks her daughter's boyfriend is no good, but in this situation, I think you may have to be the mother to your mom. She's probably blinded to his apparently slobishness by her affection for him. That's part of why so many teenage relationships go bad, girls (or guys) are so blinded by their affection for their attachment that they'll overlook things like not returning phone calls, for example. I suggest, if you can't outright tell your mom, write her a note and leave it somewhere for her - or give it to her when he's not there. She's your mom, she should be able to listen to you. Point out that you love her and you just want her to be happy, but that her boyfriend is worrying you because of the way he acts (eating all your food, never cleaning up, etc.) If she knows it's bothering you, or even if she hears your point of view, she might take a look at the situation and be able to see the problem(s). Just talk to her. She's your mom and she cares about you, and your opinion. I hope this helps!
-Siren =)

Well, the first thing you need to do is talk to him and ask him exactly what's going on. Tell him what you told us, that you feel like you've lost that "thing" that first made you attractive to him, everything seemed fine the other day when you hung out, etc...maybe even ask him what you just asked is (is he using you, does he really like you, is he confused...) Tell him you feel like you're losing him, and you really don't want to, because you love him, etc. Just be open and honest with him and let him know what's on your mind. If something's not right, you've gotta tell him! If he hasn't fixed it, chances are he doesn't know about it. As much as we would like them to be, boyfriends are not usually psychic, which is why we have to tell them what's on our minds. I mean, god knows I've opened my mouth and bitched at my boy a couple of times. (Or even just told him it feels like something's wrong, if I felt there was). You've gotta talk to him, honey. Communication is KEY in every kind of relationship, especially boyfriend/girlfriend relationships. Don't try to figure it out yourself - save yourself the trouble and talk to him, not us. We can only help you so much and guess what's going on, but he's the only one that can really tell you. I hope this helps! -Siren =)

Heh. Sometimes I get nervous before I'm about to IM someone I like, or someone I haven't talked to in awhile. I just type "Hi" and hit the enter key before I can stop myself. I do that when I'm calling people sometimes, too. Like on my cell phone, I dial the number, then before I can stop myself, I hit the send button. I'm always glad I started the conversation.
If you think about it, he gave you his sn because he probably wants to talk to you! You talk - even flirt - with him in real life. The net's easier to talk on! Just be confident that he wants to talk to you.
But I really suggest hitting the enter button before you can hesitate. It works SO well for me. Lol. I hope this helps!
-Siren =)

Okay, just so you know, if any of his ejaculate gets anywhere near your vaginal opening, you can get pregnant. This is why everyone says "USE CONDOMS!" Plus, unprotected sex is just messy. As far as how much it hurts, it totally depends on how small you are and how big he is. If he's big, it's probably going to hurt a lot. In my case, it actually hurt the first three times I did it. In my mom's case, though, she said it didn't hurt at all. I mean, if you use tampons or finger yourself, you're probably going to be a little more stretched out, which is better. Just be ready for pain. That way, if it doesn't hurt, it's a pleasent surprise. Lol. In most cases, the first time a girl has sex, she won't have an orgasm, I've heard. I've also heard that it's usually a little awkward the first time, and/or uncomfortable. The more you do it, the more you get used to it/the more you start to like it. Because I'm morally obligated...CONDOM! Lol I hope this helps! -Siren =)

Well, as far as doing more, don't go to the movies for that - go to your house or his house, if you can. You're right, it is hard to do anything else when so many people are around. As far as what you could say, just make little references to sex, or anything sexual. Guys are pretty easy to turn on, lol. I hope this helps!
-Siren =)

I honestly don't think you have to pick one religion/faith. I'm supposedly jewish, but I believe in reincarnation, and am a little agnostic. I mean, faith is an important choice, true, but I say if you can't pick one faith, make your own. Decide what you believe and stick with it. Or don't. I think whatever being is up there will understand if you make your own beleive system. Humans were created with free will, and free will includes choice. I don't believe you can make a wrong choice as far as faith goes. Faith is faith - a bunch of beliefs and stuff like that. Just decide what you believe and go from there. I hope this helps!
-Siren =)

Yes he is...*drool* Lol. He is incredibly romantic. Always knows what to say to make me smile...Like, he talks and I swoon. It's disgustingly girly girl of me. I used to be a tomboy. If you can believe it, lol. I disagree with your last statement, but thanks for the compliment, lol. ^^
-Siren =)

Nah. You don't have to think he's cute. Personality is really everything in relationships. If you can't talk to the guy, you have no future with him. Girls have to talk. It's an unwritten rule, really. So, being attracted to his personality and therefore having a crush on him is, in fact, totally possible. ^_^
Hope this helps!
-Siren =)

Well, I'll see what I can tell you, 'cause I'm in that situation with my friend, sort of, except I'm on the other end. I'm the friend who's always busy.
Truth is, she might really be that busy. I mean, I am. I have a ton of music to learn, a job, friends, and a boyfriend to balance, and it gets a little difficult to balance it all sometimes. Sometimes when I'm not busy, I just want to stay at home and rest because I'm never home. That might be another of her reasons. I can see where your friend is coming from, I think, and I really don't think she's just stopped caring. I feel like I split from my best friend, but that's because I have so much going on in my life, and she wants it to be like old times, hanging out all the time, talking about nothing...I mean, I'd love to do that, but life gets in the way, you know? Next time you get to talk to her, talk to her about what you're feeling. Tell her what you just told us, and that it makes you think she doesn't care anymore. I seriously doubt she'll say "you're right, I don't care, go away." Maybe you can resolve this - but, maybe not. Friends do split apart as time goes on, and it sucks, believe me, but it's a fact. Strong friendships are usually salvageable. I hope this helps!
-Siren =)

Well, there's no sure way to tell, and I don't think anyone's ever REALLY sure.
Well, here's how I know. I first knew I loved him when the words "I love you" literally slipped out without my thinking about saying them. I believe that the subconscious mind always knows more than the conscious mind does or is willing to admit. If the subconscious says it, it must be true. I know I love my guy because I can picture myself with him for the rest of my life. I look at other guys and think no one's as attractive as him. I can't picture myself with anyone but him. I know he loves me because I can see it in his eyes when he looks at me, feel it when he touches me...when we kiss, the world disappears...it's all feelings, I think. Go with your instincts. If you think it's love, and you feel, deep down, that it is, then it probably is. Despite what people may say, age is really just a state of mind, not being. It doesn't matter how young you are or how old you are. I'm seventeen and I believe I've found the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with. *Shrug*
When you're in love, your entire being tells you. You just...know. I hope this helps on some level, lol. -Siren =)

Just tell him you like to take things slow, and that you're not ready to kiss yet. You've gotta tell him what's on your mind. It's perfectly fine to want to take things slow, but if you do, you may want to be the one to make the first moves to make sure he isn't pushing you. Tell him what you just told us; that you're the kind of girl who likes to take things slow and build up your relationship first. Let him know that the third date is just too soon for you, and that you don't want to hurt his feelings, but you do want to be with him. Just lay out your boundaries and tell him what you're thinking. He's not psychic, so he can't know, right? Just talk. Communication is everything. Hope this helps on some level!
-Siren =)

Ooh, I love romance...Let's see...
If you think she'd like the whole mystery angle, drop a note and a flower in her locker telling her to meet you somewhere (cliche, I know, but still cute.)
Flowers, though, are a big YES! With all girls. Lol. A lot of girls like cliche stuff like notes/flowers and stuff. I hope this helps! If you need more suggestions/advice, lemme know.
-Siren =)

Noooooooooooooooo! Don't use 2 condoms, they're more likely to stretch, rub against each other and break that way! If she's not on the pill, she needs to use one condom, NOT TWO.
You're right, though, it is her decision. However, it should be HER decision, not his. If she's not truly ready, she'll know. If she has doubts, or she's afraid, she's not ready. I wasn't, at first. 3 Months isn't that long a time, you know. However, if your friend thinks she's ready, let her be ready. But make sure she knows to take precautions. She should really be on the pill, but then, I wasn't on it the first time I had sex. Again, ONE CONDOM ONLY. If you use 2, they could rub against each other and break. Make sure she knows that. If she's that paranoid, too, she has to tell the guy to hold the bottom of the condom to make sure it doesn't slip off when he pulls out. My mom, by the way, told me all this. Parents are really useful resources.
Anyway. If your friend is really ready to have sex, I say let her go for it. Just tell her the right stuff to make sure she's safe about it. I hope I helped!
-Siren =)

Memorize it first, line by line. Say it first without doing other things, then say it while brushing your hair, in the shower, etc...Then once you know it well forwards, say it line by line backwards. When you can do that fairly smoothly, you know it. If you know it so well, you have no reason to worry about forgetting it, which gives you no reason to freeze. This is, by the way, what I did when I had to memorize a monologue in two days for an audition. I learned it backwards and forwards. Just be confident, once you know it, that you know it. Nothing can make you forget it, you can say it in your sleep! Be confident that you know it, and you will. That's a trick to learning music, too. Sing it once and see how much you can do from memory. It's amazing how fast you learn and how much you learn. I hope this helps!
-Siren =)

I would, if I were you, either talk to him in person or call him. E-mails, IMs and notes to me give off the impression of cowardice. I had a guy break up with me over IM, and I just thought "Wow, what a chicken. He didn't even have the nerve to tell me to my face," and you don't want the guy to think that, do you? I mean, I'll bet it's different for girls breaking up with guys than it is for guys breaking up with girls, but still.
I would talk to him in person or on the phone if you can. While IM would be easier, it's probably not the best way to do it. Seems kind of...uncaring, like you couldn't even take the time to talk to him in person. That's just my opinion, though. Hope this helps, good luck!
-Siren =)

I'm a laid-back 26 year old with a Psychology BA, starting my MA program, and working my way into the field as quickly as I can. It took me an extra Bachelor's degree (in vocal performance and creative writing) to figure it out, but I was put on this Earth to help, to heal, and to love.

I have made the decision to dedicate my life and career to helping others. I am here to do just that.

I've been a member since 2004, and since I signed up, I've gone through quite a lot and learned quite a lot from it. I'm here to give guidance where I had none; no one should have to go through the difficulties I went through alone.

Feel free to visit my website/blog, if you want to read my experience with domestic violence and my thoughts on it.

***While I do tend to answer mental health and other health-related or medicine-related questions, I am by NO MEANS a licensed physician or practitioner of any sort. Any and all advice I give for these questions is from my own experience or studies.***

If you need to get a hold of me quickly, my screen name on AIM is SirenCytherea. Just let me know you found me here.

I'm a strong believer in the idea that there are no stupid questions except the ones left unasked, so, please, keep an open mind, heart, and mouth.

Siren

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