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Q: ok there is this guy i really like and apparently he likes me too but he wont go out with me because he doesnt like my friends..... i dont know what to do because i cant get over him but at the same time i wouldnt be able to hang out with him and my friends at the together
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It's not right to make you choose between him and your friends, and he needs to know that. You don't have to choose, you need to tell him he needs to be tolerant of your friends. You'd have to hang out with his too, and point that out to him. You can let him know what you're thinking without being a bitch about it. Just gently tell him that you don't feel it's right to choose between him and your friends. Try to make it sound more like this is what you're feeling, or this is what's happening. Not "this is what you're making me do" because that could lead to a fight. Try not to use the word "you" in a sentence. Even for the one I suggested: "I've been thinking about this, and I really don't feel that it's right for me to choose between a guy I like and my friends..."
Then again - you may not have to deal with that, if you just decide to hang out with your friends when you're not hanging out with him. That could get awkward, though. I really suggest talking out your feelings with him. It might help you two compromise. I hope this helps, and I hope you get it worked out!
-Siren =)
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Q: Im 13 years old. A lot of the other girls have boy friends and all but ofcourse i dont. ive never even had a first kiss or went on a date with a boy. Its not like im ugly because im not really. i just dont know...it just feels like that time is never going to come??..
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Hey, honey, I felt like that too at your age. 6-about the end of 8th grade, I wasn't ugly, but no guys liked me. As soon as I hit ninth grade (turned 14, by the way, in october while I was in 9th grade) I had guys...hitting on me...lol. I didn't know what to do with it. Your time WILL come. Trust me, if it came for me, it'll come for you. I got my first kiss when I was fourteen. *Shrug* I have a friend who's 17 and still hasn't had her first kiss, and I think a guy friend or two who haven't had their first kiss, and one of them is a junior in high school. Don't worry about not having been kissed yet. Your time WILL come. 13 is young! You have YEARS. Trust me. Don't rush into anything, savor your youngness. Lol. I hope this helps!
-Siren =)
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Q: well im goin out with this guy my mom hates and i mean she really hates him.... and she wants me to stop seeing him but i told her no and i got into this big fight with my mom but i really like this guy but my mom thinks hes not right for me.......what should i do??? ive already tired telling her how i feel about this guy but she wont listen
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If your mom's uncomfortable with your guy, I suggest you let HIM talk to her (maybe even without you around) and let her find out how much he cares about you. Or, if you don't want to do that, arrange for you and your mom and your guy to go out to lunch sometime and have a get-to-know-you session. Does she even know him?When my dad didn't know and was a little uncomfortable with my boyfriend, I dragged my boyfriend and my dad along with my mom and me to a chinese restaurant for dinner sometime, and let them all talk and get to know each other and stuff. It worked like a charm. Her problem might be that she doesn't see how much he cares about you, if she never sees you together. That was my mom's problem, until I dragged my boy over to my house for dinner one day and she saw us together and all that. Let your boyfriend get to know your mom, and it might change her mind. I hope this helps, good luck!
-Siren =)
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Q: Okay I got a diamond promise ring from my boyfriend of Christmas! One question though, what is the whole point. Like what are you promising or whatever? Thanks a bunch!
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Well, I always thought it was sort of the predecessor to an engagement ring, but I think it has a different meaning, depending on who you are, who your guy is, and what your relationship is like. If my boyfriend gave me a ring, it would be the predecessor to an engagement ring. If someone else's boyfriend gave her a ring, it could mean he promises not to cheat on her or anything. I really think the meaning varies. If you want to know specifically what your promise ring means, why don't you ask him? He'll tell you exactly what he means by giving you the ring. I hope this helps!
-Siren =)
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Q: my boyfriend cheated on me with another girl .. we have been goin out for 2 1/2 monthes now .. he says he loves me, but i dont see how you can cheat on somebody you love. he didnt have sex with the other gurl, but they kissed. so i then broke up with him and that same day i broke up with him he kissed another girl .. im so confused. should i stay with him ? i mean we are both only 15 years old . so maybe it was just hormones. but do you think he loves me. he treats me really good, hes boughten me a gold ring and big teddy bear when i was sick he
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You can believe him or not, but I would not go back to him. He cheated on you. Fifteen or fifty, that's not cool, and if you go back out with him, it sends the message that it's okay to cheat on you, and if you're like most girls I know, that's not okay with you. (Obviously it isn't, as you broke up with him for cheating on you the first time.) This guy obviously does not know the meaning of the word "love" if he says he loves you but kisses someone else. Hormones are no excuse whatsoever for cheating. I mean, my guy has hormones, and he's never even thought about cheating on me. It is possible to be a teenage guy and not cheat on your girlfriend. As far as you should be concerned, he already lost you when he cheated on you. You don't want a guy who will act like you're special on the outside, but go and cheat on you. That's just not right. Never stay with a guy that cheats. He needs to learn that it's not right, and if that means losing you, so be it. This may cause a little pain on your part, but isn't the pain of knowing that he cheated worse? Weigh your choices, and make your decision. I hope this helps!
-Siren =)
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Q: ok is it weird for girls to bite guys lips? cuz usually guys bite mine but iv never bitten theirs... and what about running my tongue across my bfs teeth when were making out? my firend told me thats good but i dont know... please help ill rate hi and if u guys have any other ideas please tell me!
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I hope it's not weird, 'cause I do that to my guy, lol. That's funny, I've never had a guy bite my lip and you've never bitten a guy's. Haha. Anyway, those things depend on what your guy likes. But the lips thing is probably good. My guy also likes it when I lick his lips, but I'm sure not all guys like that. If you're just asking for ideas for making out, I suggest going in to kiss your guy, but whisper to him, like, an inch away from his lips, so he can feel that you're there, but don't kiss him. Tease him. It's fun to watch their reactions...*Grin* Those are just a couple of basics. Just play with actions and see what he likes...I hope you have fun with this, and I hope this helps!
-Siren =)
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Q: I think I am loosing my best friend. She has been hanging out alot with someone else, and when she isnt she always has excuses. she isnt the same person, i know she has to change, but i mean- she is obsessed with her weight and eating. Im not really worried about that though, i just miss her. what should i do? just forget about her?
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If you're worried about it, approach her one day and tell her you'd like to talk to her about something, and tell her what you're feeling. Tell her you miss her. Ask her what's going on. Point out that you think you're splitting apart, and you feel like you're losing her. If you don't tell her how you feel, how's she going to know? If she doesn't know, how can she do anything about it? Communicate first before you do anything. ALWAYS talk about your feelings. You might be able to stop the friendship from dying if you point out what you see to her. Be prepared, though, she might be a little defensive if you tell her "you're not the same person" and stuff like that. Make an effort to emphasize that these are things YOU are feeling, and not necessarily the way things are. Don't just forget about her, though. You've gotta tell her what you're feeling.
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)
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Q: Wait i read your profile thing and it said you can anylyze dreams? Just your own or other peoples?! thats really cool!
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I can analyze dreams, anyone's. Some are harder than others, and can get overwhelming if there are too many symbols, but I can usually analyze them. ^_^ Some dreams will predict things, others just reveal what's going on in your subconscious mind. It's hard to tell, but it usually depends on the feel and how vivid the dreams are. It is really cool, lol.
-Siren =)
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Q: hello. i am doing a project on suicide. i've tried to look online but i cannot find much. For my project i need to find the least painful and fastest type of suicide, and if a drug is involved, where that can be purchased at. ty
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Hey =)
I noticed you're not a registered user, and I think this is an interesting question - unfortunately, I don't know how to answer it, but it would be deleted if I reject this. I really wish I could help, but I don't know what it would be or how to find it, lol. Might I suggest you ask the pool of advicenators? Someone else might know a little more about your question. In the meantime, I suggest you go to google.com, or your favorite search engine and look for "suicide methods". It might work...^^ I'm sorry I can't help more! -Siren =)
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Q: Over the weekend me and my friend got in a fight with a permanet marker, she accidently got some on my light pair of jeans and it won't come out. I washed them and put SHOUT stain remover on them twice but it still won't come out. Do any of you have any suggestions? My jeans are really light, so I dont wanna to ruin there color or anything, and if I bleach them, then I'll lose the color in that spot. Please help.
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I don't know if this will work, but you might try rubbing alcohol. It gets permanent marker off of/out of everything else...I found that out the hard way. Lol. It shouldn't bleach the jeans, but it might be able to get the marker out. If not, try nailpolish remover...Or just keep washing them. It should fade eventually. I hope this helped! -Siren =)
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Q: if you have oral sex, or your boyfriend/girlfriend has done anything sexual to you besides sex, is it a sin?
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That depends on your religion, and/or YOUR personal beliefs. I think, if you don't consider it a sin, then it isn't. I'm jewish, and I don't think we believe in sex before marriage, but I personally don't think it's a sin, and in my belief system, it therefore isn't. I think religion is all about YOUR opinion. God, or whatever higher being is up there is generally forgiving, so I would say it's up to you. If you think you need to be forgiven for it, then ask for forgiveness. If not, don't. It will probably forgive you anyway. But again, it depends on your religion. If you're worried about it, go to google or whichever search engine you prefer, and do a search on your religion to find out what the beliefs are. Or, form your own beliefs. I encourage that, but each to their own. I hope this helped on some level! -Siren =)
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Q: Somethimes i feel like my boyfriend is only with me to get booty . I dont know what to do cause I really love him and I dont know if I should tell him how I feel. Please Help!!!!!!
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If you're worried about it, the first thing you need to do is talk to him. Explain to him what you're feeling and why you feel this way, if you have reasons. If you don't have reasons, let him know that too. He can't know there's a problem if you don't tell him, and I assume you do want this fixed, right? Just talk to him. When there are things you're worried about, the first step to solving the problem is talking about it. You've gotta always let people know when something bothers you. I learned the hard way. Don't make the same mistakes I did. ^_^
Hope this helped!
-Siren =)
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Q: Im sorry you guys, but I noticed that a LOT of youngins say they love theyre boyfriend or gf...so I was wanting to know, what do you guys consider love...because 13-16 is really young, i dont know I could be wrong, but what do you consider love??
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In my opinion, love is when you can't picture yourself with anyone but this person. The person you love is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, I think. I consider love to be the greatest emotion known to humans. Love is incredible. There are no words to describe it.
However, I don't think love is a "can't think about anything else, can't breathe, can't eat" state of mind. That seems more like lust to me. love is something deeper, more meaningful. While lust does tend to accompany love, it doesn't mean the same thing, and I think a lot of people confuse the two.
While I do believe age really is a state of mind and not being, 13 year olds finding the people they're going to marry is unlikely. However, I'm 17 and I think I've found the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with. Each to their own. I think love is up to interpretation. There is no one solid meaning. It means something different for everyone else, and I think that's kinda cool. -Siren =)
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Q: I like this guy who likes me too, but the thing is I'm so scared to fall in love because i dont wanna get hurt! My friend thinks i've already fallin for him but i'm hoping that It's not true! It's weird because when i'm not around him I feel so empty! But then when he's with me I fell like my feet won't ever touch the ground again. How can I not fall in Love?!
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OH honey, you sound so much like me last year. I've been with the guy for over a year. I got my heart stomped on by this guy who lied, and cheated on me, then lied about lying and cheating on me. Lol. I didn't want to get into another relationship, but this guy invited me out to see a movie with him, and instead of typing "Sorry, I'm busy," like I meant to, I typed "Sure, why not?" instead. Lol. That night, we confessed that we liked each other, and I continued to fight my crush on him. I failed miserably, and we decided to solidify it into a relationship.
The smartest thing I ever did was let my wall fall and let myself fall in love with him. I've never been so happy in my life. I speak from experience, as you can tell - with love, there's always a risk of being hurt. But when the guy likes you as much as you like him, if not more, the chance of being hurt is very little. Trust me, it's disgustingly difficult to keep yourself from falling in love. But, if you're so determined, focus on his bad points. If you can't find any, you're as doomed as I was, lol. I couldn't find any bad points either. If you're so worried, tell him what you feel. Tell him you're afraid of getting hurt, and that's why you're so reluctant to get into a relationship. If you want more help with this, don't hesitate to contact me, I'd love to help you through this. I went through exactly the same thing, so I know what you're feeling. I hope this helps! -Siren =)
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Q: 15/f. I have liked this guy since last year. And he told me last week that he liked me too. I am not allowed to date until I turn 16, which is in a week or so. The thing that worries me about going out with this guy is that he has done things that I have never done. I've never made out wiht a guy and he has made out with all the girls he's gone out with, and he has fingered a girl. I wouldn't mind making out with him, but getting fingered is not what I want to do. What should i do if he tries to finger me. Thanks in advance.
Signed:
Unsure
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Hey, if you don't wanna be fingered, and that's what he tries to do, just tell him you're not ready for that yet, or that you don't feel comfortable doing that yet - you will tell him when you're ready. He will probably be respectful enough to say "All right," and not try. Realize, though, that he may not even go that far, at least not on the first date! Lol. He may not push you - or even try to go that far for awhile. Just don't let him do anything you're not comfortable with. You have to be willing to speak up and let him know you don't like something if you don't. Just be honest with him, and you should be fine. I hope this helps! -Siren =)
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Q: How do you manage to stay thin?
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I have kind of a high metabolism in the sense that my body uses what I eat as fuel, but I also never eat much...Lol. Like, not on purpose. I just get full really easily. I wish I could help you more, but the last time I lost weight it was because I couldn't eat anything and my body like, rejected everything I tried to eat. Lost 21 pounds that way, lol. But, I think if you only eat three meals a day, and one serving of everything you eat, you should be fine. And - don't worry about carbs. Your body needs those for fuel. Oh, eating veggies and stuff helps. "Water foods," my health teacher called them. They help fill you up, and your body has to work hard to digest those. Also, nuts are good snacks. If you have a habit of craving sweets between meals, keep low-calorie gum around that you can chew when it's lost its flavor, like sugar free bubble yum. That stuff is great. Keeps your mouth occupied. ^_^
I hope this helps! -Siren =)
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Q: Well, I have this friend, and it seems like every time she gets a boyfriend, she forgets about all of her friends. It drives me crazy b/c we're supposed to be like best friends but everytime she just meets a new guy and like...ditches all of us. And then she wont hang ot with us unless he can come and all she does is like make out in front of us with him. Im getting really annoyed with her but I dont know if i should say something or not...
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Well, first of all, you do need to talk to her, I'd think. She may be your friend, but she's probably not psychic. She can't know it bothers you if you don't tell her, so tell her!
Secondly, you gotta know that some people have a really difficult time balancing friends and a boyfriend. Maybe point out to her that you miss those times when it used to be just you two hanging out, or "just the girls." Let her know you'd rather she not bring her boyfriend everywhere with her. Remind her that you can still spend time together, and she can see her boyfriend, just the two of them, another time. She might need a little help balancing you guys and her guy, even if she doesn't think so...just help her out a little bit. Next time she asks to bring her boyfriend along, say you were really hoping it would just be the girls, and you'd rather he didn't join her. Just be nice about it. Help her out, but talk to her about what you're thinking, first. I hope this helps!
-Siren =)
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Q: hey im 15/m/cali (turnin 16 in a month)
i haved like this girl for about 2 years. the first 6 months i told her, and the day i told her she didn't know wat to say. i ended up telling her i was just 'valuing' our friendship and i told her dat i really didn't like her. its the 2nd year now and i am really beginning to like her. the big problem is she has a b/f. her b/f got wit her 11/24/04, and he is my best friend. of course, he asked me b4 if he could ask her out, n i said i didn't have feelings for her becuase i didn't want chaos to happen again. Now i really am beginnnig to like her. we talk online every night. sometimes we talk till 3 or 4 AM on da phone when shes not talking to her b/f. she always asks me for help on hw (cuz im a smarty pants :p) and i help her out. today, it was raining and we were walking from class to lunch n her class n right next to mine. i always wait for her, and a few of my other friends. the classes were outside and it was raining. so as she got out we talked a bit and then we started to walk. she hooked her arm around mine and we started to walk in da rain to lunch down to a place where i usually hang out. she usually is really nice to me and i dont know wat i should do. I really like her, but i dont wanna mess up anything between her and my best frend. im just really sad lately, although whenver she's around i cheer up n we always talk. (sorry this is long) i dont know wat to do.... theres a lot more stuff i chose to leave out. but yea... plz help me!
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Hey =)
Don't worry about the length. The more detailed, the better, in my opinion.
Well, you do realize you can still tell her what's on your mind without messing stuff up between her and your friend, right? If it gets messed up, it's her choice. If I were in your situation I think I would talk to her and tell her what's going on in my head. I'd tell her that while I said I simply valued the friendship, the truth was I really did kind of like her. Let her know, though, that you don't want to destroy the friendship over affection issues. If she doesn't know what to say, tell her she doesn't have to say anything, and that you just wanted her to know what was going on in your head.
That is, of course, if you want to tell her. You don't have to, but it sounds to me like you're regretting keeping the fact that you like her a secret. So just talk to her. You two sound like really good friends, and I don't see why she wouldn't be willing to listen.
As to leaving stuff out, if this wasn't helpful, know that I am a very nonjudgmental girl, and I've heard pretty much everything. Lol. If you think telling me what you left out would help me give you better advice, don't worry about me telling anyone. ^_^
At any rate, I hope this was helpful on some level...-Siren =)
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Q: can guys get erection by gettin a hand job>?
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Yes. An erection is the result of sexual stimulation of any kind (or even if he's just horny, lol). A hand job does qualify as sexual stimulation, and it should therefore cause an erection. Hope this answers your question!
-Siren =)
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Q: I want to have sex with my boyfriend but he doesn't even live in my state and i love him but im only 16 and idk if he'll cheat on me if i dont have sex with him im worried he'll cheat but i love him withall my heart and i think im ready i just dont wanna get pregnant or stds...help.
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Wait, wait...so you want to have sex with him to make sure he won't cheat on you? That's not a reason to have sex! Well, it's a reason, but not one I'd call valid. He should be willing, if he loves you, to wait for YOU, until YOU are ready to have sex with him, and have the reason for it be that you love each other. Tell him you're worried about getting pregnant or stds, and that you're not ready to have sex (if you aren't), but that you're also worried about losing him, and see what he says to that. Communication is always key. I hope this helps!
-Siren =)
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bio
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I'm a laid-back 26 year old with a Psychology BA, starting my MA program, and working my way into the field as quickly as I can. It took me an extra Bachelor's degree (in vocal performance and creative writing) to figure it out, but I was put on this Earth to help, to heal, and to love.
I have made the decision to dedicate my life and career to helping others. I am here to do just that.
I've been a member since 2004, and since I signed up, I've gone through quite a lot and learned quite a lot from it. I'm here to give guidance where I had none; no one should have to go through the difficulties I went through alone.
Feel free to visit my website/blog, if you want to read my experience with domestic violence and my thoughts on it.
***While I do tend to answer mental health and other health-related or medicine-related questions, I am by NO MEANS a licensed physician or practitioner of any sort. Any and all advice I give for these questions is from my own experience or studies.***
If you need to get a hold of me quickly, my screen name on AIM is SirenCytherea. Just let me know you found me here.
I'm a strong believer in the idea that there are no stupid questions except the ones left unasked, so, please, keep an open mind, heart, and mouth.
Siren
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Info
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Website: Gender: Female Age: 26 AIM: Member Since: February 13, 2004 Answers: 1526 Last Update: April 26, 2014 Visitors: 107840
Main Categories:
Favorite Columnists
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