NinjaNeer's advice column

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Q: Im 17 years old, about to graduate high school soon, im a dude. And i've been living in SoCal for my whole life, particularly the really safe, rich, spoiled neighborhood, and i can say that I'm sick of it. Not only because of the people, so i'm not specializing or anything, i just think that some places are better.
I went to Toronto in the summer for vacation and i loved it. The difference in the people werent big. The men were pretty unfriendly and reserved from my experience. However, they were very polite and civilized. The girls in Toronto were OK, very pretty, very friendly, at least from my point of view. so in general, in my own personal experience (not generalising) i have had better experiences with foreign people rather than people in LA, where all i see is trash whores falliing out of cars, spitting in public, dressed in ripped clothing, drunk off their asses, and drooling into trash cans. When i was in Toronto, i hardly saw any of that, all i saw were people living and behaving decently.
so i have been thinking about moving to Toronto pretty soon, NOT only because of the people, so its not like im anti social or anything, but actual research and surveys on the internet says that canadian cities have some of the best quality of life, whereas i see no american cities on the list. If you dont believe me, go to wikipedia, and look up "list of cities by quality of living"
so my advice im looking for is, should i move? all my friends tell me i should, and my buddies are moving to Southern Ontario halfway through college. Thanks!

I may be biased, as someone who lives in Southern Ontario... so thank you for loving us :) I'd say go for it in a heartbeat! Although I'm wondering what parts of Toronto you were in, because it definitely has its really shady parts...

Do you have any plans? Unfortunately, you can't just waltz in here and put down roots. Make sure that you get a work permit (which can be tricky) or a student study permit. It takes a while to get them, too, so plan in advance. Otherwise, you're limited to a few months.

College will cost about 2-3 times what it would for a student who lives here, but that won't be a huge issue because that puts it on par with tuition at American universities.

Toronto is also an extremely expensive place to live. My friend had a one bedroom apartment with her boyfriend, and she was paying $1000 a month for it. She had cockroaches to boot! If you can't afford to live in Toronto, take a look at schools elsewhere in Southern Ontario. Hamilton, Guelph, Waterloo and Kingston all have fantastic schools and are within driving distance of Toronto. In fact, you can take the train or the bus from Hamilton to Toronto in about an hour. So it's something to think about.

Q: so i am going to have sex for the first time this weekend.. & i haven't gotten my period since last january.. and the year before that i got it. so i've only had my period twice within the past 3 years... i'm scared about having my cherry popped because a "cherry" is a layer of skin which is broken and releases blood held up in there. i probably have a bunch of blood so i'm concerned with how much i am going to bleed.. do you think it'll be so bad that i'll bleed clots?? & also. i am not on any form of birth control but i willl use vcf, my bf will use a condom & will pull out. & if the condom were to break i'd still take one step the day after pill. i have it stored safely in my room just in case of an emergency. if i took the day after pill would it make me bleed blood clots? because apparantly that medication makes you bleed to clean out your uterus but because i haven't gotten my period in forever what will it do...? help please asap! Thanks guys!

Your hymen doesn't act as a sort of flood gate, holding back everything in your uterus. The reason why you bleed when it's broken is because it's a piece of skin that tears, along with the tiny blood vessels in it.

Some bleed a little more, some bleed a little less. Some never bleed (I didn't, because I was an avid mountain bike rider as a kid and broke it that way). Don't worry about it... it's not enough to ruin the mood.

As for what happens if you take the Day After pill, it's different for every woman. If it does make you bleed heavily, that's not unusual: it basically makes you get your period over the course of 1-3 days instead of the usual. Keep in mind that your uterus doesn't just keep generating new linings on top of the old one: that would mean you'd be swelling up like a balloon by now! Your body just isn't getting the message to shed the one you have.

Q: there's a person who kepps bothering me and liking me but i doont like her what do i do to get her off my back without talking privately and personally something i can scream out loud so evryone can hear.

Yeah, that would probably humiliate and destroy her. Not a good idea.

Let her know that pestering you won't make you like her any more. Just calmly tell her you're not interested. She may just be gunning for a reaction from you, so yelling at her would be counterproductive.

Q: Ok well i am 14 and a girl
My "father" moved in with us 3 years ago when we were living with a family member
From the 1st sec i hated him
When he got to the house he started telling us what to do and being mean
A year after that my "mom" and "dad" bought a house without telling me or my brother which we all decided they would tell us
They bought a crap house where the air conditioning was bad, a big oil pipe in the backyard, and old wooden floor. (THERE WE BETTER HOUSES BUT "HE" WANTED THE WORST ONE))
Next he yells a lot and i am a person that would say "the hell would help you" when i get yelled at
So he would always get mad instead of listening to my mom (she is sweet and i love her will all my heart but i really do think that she is complete retard) about getting a moving van to move he made my older brother do all the work of moving and "he" would call my bro a retsrd and that he could not do anything right while he just stood there
He took 20 round trips with my brother and my mom had to buy the gas
Then we got a bunny and he took my bunny outside (a cage with pipes as walls)
PS i am an animal lover and future vet!
I told "him" not to and that he would run away
we i came back from dinner my bunny was gone
But like always he would do whatever the hell he wanted (all in 1 1/2 years)

List of "him"

-anger problems
-bought old crap to call furniture instead of my cousin new couches that she offered to give us
- Curses all the time (before he came into our lives we would never curse at all but then they started)
- called the puppy we got mine when he punishes her and he chooses everything
-he yells at my mom and she takes it (she is a retard like i said)
- he tease me because in am shorted then normal
-calls my mom names
-keeps on saying that "then i will got back" whenever my mom got mad at him
-he has no job and does nothing around the house

About me

- I hate cleaning i get allergies
-i can't wash dishes because i would get a cold
-i have a lot of homework and projects to help me mom cook
-i love new things so my mom buys some like every 5 months

oh yeah also i had 2 surgeries and the first time we had to stay in a hotel after he stole the remote, changed what i was watching to some movie with cow crap in it and i get sick with that)
Cause of that i slept on the floor a few hours after my surgery

I asked my mom so many times to divorce him cause in all we all hate him even his own siblings

Well there is WHOLE lot more of thing he did that i hate him for

1.what i am asking is am i right for hating him so d**** much
2.should my mom divorce him?
3.would you hate him

THANK YOU FOR READING AND SORRY FOR THE LONG DETAILS
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW MORE JUST EMIL ME :D

also he is my real dad we can my mom, brother, and i came here 8 years ago
3 years ago "he" got his greencard

and i have been trying to cope with him but they alway end up bad the last time this happened:

my brother, dad and i went shopping for fish (during the move i lost "erick" my 4 year old betta fish that i loved with all my heart i kept his tank" "he wanted to use my erick's tank for his new cheap fish (all the fish that went into that tank after erick died. that tanks) the tank ment the world to me because it was the every last time that i was happy for real cause when we got to the new house my other 8 year old dog died by getting hit by a car-he was the only one that went out that morning
ok well he started screaming cause i would not let him use it and i told him from the begining
he yelled at me for 10 mins and when my mom came in he yelled at her to saying how "you don't teach your childern anything" well to make it short he yelled at me to take it out of the living room if i would no use it and i cried for the whole evening (i am very sensetive when people are mean to me especilly about my pets)
my mom had to bring me food first before she went to work because i would not go down stairs

I can guarantee that you're not going to like my answer.

You are way out of line. You are the child in this relationship. He is your father. You have no right to choose where you live (are you paying the bills?). You have no right to decide what the rules of the house are, and you most certainly should not be telling your mother to divorce your father.

Your excuses as to why you can't do chores are ridiculous. I have severe asthma and allergies, and I still manage to clean. You can't get a cold from doing the dishes. Billions of people around the world manage to do their dishes without catching colds.

You want to know what I think? I think you sound like an incredibly self-entitled, whiny, obnoxious brat. Try being nice to your father, and respecting his decisions. Contribute around the house. Stop ordering your father around. Your family pays for your food, your shelter, your pets, your things. Start treating them with the respect they deserve. Act like an adult, and they'll treat you like an adult. Keep acting like this, and you will end up alone. Your parents won't support you forever, and nobody else would live with someone who acts the way you are now.

Q: hi, i am shirin bansal, male, 18 years old from india. its about my first love.we got to know each other in a coaching in October,2009.to keep the story short, i started liking her, proposed her for being a girlfriend, she never said yes or no, it was all well for just 20 days, then everything went wrong, we never dated, i lost total contact after 17th march,2010 but always sent her messages on her phone and facebook profile, i stalked her.meanwhile, in that time, she got admission in a far city for college.one day, i got her number, called her but i was too desperate and nothing changed.i tried once more but this time she was too loud and rude, so i stopped contacting her since October,2010.

Everything went wrong because of me. i never understand any situation, never gave her space, i was too desperate and never used my brain.

The thing is even today, i think of her every second, i feel its incomplete, i want another chance as i feel i can now handle it very well.But she is completely screwed up with my constant desperate behaviour. i want to start from nil, to be friends again, then take it to the level of relationship,slowly and gradually

how can i start from scratch,how will she become normal and atleast be my friend?she has set up her mind not to talk to me?i love her, i miss her but i am mature now and can be her boyfriend if she forgets the past.will time normalize her? how much time will fade away my past image?

It's something that we are all guilty of from time to time, so don't be too angry with yourself because of this!

The best way to convince her that you have matured and can give her the space she needs is to let her know that you would like to be friends (nothing more) and that you will let her make the decision. If she decides that she doesn't want to speak with you any more, let her be. I know it's not fun to think about, but you can't force her into friendship. It might take some time. Once you're friends, take it very slow. Wait a long time before you even mention dating, and if she doesn't seem interested, back off and wait some more. Let her see that you're not desperate and she'll be more open.

Q: I am currently away studying abroad and will have zero dollars left when I return. I have the option of working at a camp for two months this summer. I could make up to 2000 dollars, have no expenses, and have a day off each week along with 2 hours off each day. Sounds like a good deal, right? The only things holding me back are that I'll already have been away from my friends, family, and boyfriend for five months, I'm moving into a house in august and will need to plan for that, and my family may be getting a puppy and I would miss being there while it's small (a little silly, I know). I'm considering putting out a flyer in my neighborhood and in the surrounding area to let families know I'm available to babysit/petsit/tutor, but I'm afraid I won't find any work. What should I do? What would you do?

I've gone away to work in isolated situations for 4 months at a time. It's some of the most fun I've ever had. You get to spend time with new people, be independent and break out of your comfort zone.

I know it's hard being away from loved ones, but the time goes so fast you wouldn't believe it. Most of these places also have internet or phone, so you can keep in touch with the people at home. So yes, I would definitely recommend it.

Q: So I've never bought dark choclate before but since it's another good thing to have in moderation, I thought why not keep some in my purse?

It doesn't matter if it's a bar i can break or whether it's choclate chips, they contain MUFA and 1/4 cup is a nice serving. But I went onto the site and each product they have, they give you the ingredients and stuff and actually none even are all dark chocolate! The closest product I found was Costa Rica 71% Dark Chocolate Bar.

Am I dumb and there's actually no such thing as pure dark chocolate, or what?

Pure dark chocolate is really expensive. I don't think Bulk Barn sells it. Most dark chocolate that you'll see is about 70%.

Lindt makes chocolate bars that are 99% cocoa. Any more, and it won't stick together very well or have a good texture. It's a really intense flavour.

I've found that yes, they're quite expensive, but I don't eat a full serving because one tiny square is enough to satisfy any chocolate cravings.

Q: Okay so this is crazy. I started my birth control like 9 months ago or not yet 9 months and I do not get periods. I went to my doctor today and had a pregnancy test, it was neg. But I look pregnant, I feel pregnant, I have been nauses, pain in my sides, tired, frequant urnitation, I have even felt/ seen my stumoch move , crazy huh? My doctor did blood work, urine test and is schuduling for a ultra sound, not the one on your belly but i think to check for cycsts. I just have this strong feeling that im pregnant. I dont want to be like those girls on the tv show that have their baby in a toliet.

Wait it out for the ultrasound.

It is possible, despite what everyone else has said. It's unlikely, but possible.

My mom found out she was pregnant with me at 7 months, because she tested negative through blood work and urinalysis. She didn't put on a lot of weight, either. She ended up finding out she was pregnant during the ultrasound. She was also on birth control, and didn't have periods because she'd had mono (she was on antibiotics, which negated the effects of her b.c.)

So yes, possible. Also unlikely. The ultrasound will show you for sure, if you think you're that far along.

______________________________________________

The baby won't have originated in your "belly". It would be in your uterus, which is right near where they would be checking for cysts (ovaries). So yes, it will show if it's there.

Q: I'M NOT SUICIDAL, i'm just bored and wondering how you can kill yourself with the least pain possible?

That's a heck of a question to ask out of boredom.

There's no way to kill yourself with little pain. Death is painful... period. And if by some miracle you don't hurt yourself, you hurt everyone around you.

Q: I really don't know how to handle my wife, how to talk to her or deal with her. We're a young married couple, I'm 26 and she's 21, been married for over a year now and been together on and off for seven.

We both want kids. She wants kids now, and I want them some day. I'm not ready to be a father, certainly not ready to be any kind of role model for anyone, and we've both got school to get through. Thing is, she'll be done with school in less than two years and I want to go to med school, which with the late start I got due to not having the money to go is going to be at least another six or seven years.

She wants to have her first kid at 25. We both know this isn't possible, but because she has the baby bug now she sees 25 as a compromise.

That's not going to happen with me. I try to avoid this conversation because that is the flat out truth, I will not be having kids with her when she is 25 and I am 30. I will still be in school, possibly med school, I will not be able to be a father during that period.

She wants a definite date, and I can't give her one. She puts it on me to answer her, and this conversation comes up about every month or two ending in a fight each time because the answer never changes. The truth is that I don't know. I'm an undergrad at a shitty community college. I don't know how long it will take to get back into a decent university via transfer, I don't know that I will get into med school the first year I apply, I don't know how things will be five years from now.

But we always come back to her point of view. "This is my priority, everything I'm doing I'm doing so we can have kids". As condescending as it probably is, I cannot take her seriously. She's 21, I'm 26 and I'm not ready to be a father, and knowing that its literally biological clock issues that keep this on her mind make it difficult for me to have any level of patience with her when she gets all over me demanding answers and timetables and making veiled threats about "maybe if our priorities are this different we need to rethink things". When I get angry at her for making empty relationship threats during irrational periods I'm the asshole. When I tell her the truth I'm the asshole. When I try to avoid the conversations entirely I'm the asshole.

I know that what she feels is real and visceral, but she knows we cannot have kids any time soon, she knows I hate her pressuring me for answers that I do not have, timetables I cannot be sure we will be able to meet.

She flat out told me it's my job to comfort her, to give her what she needs here. To me, that's unreasonable. This is a partnership, and she uses that very word against me because she has an emotional desire to have kids which in many ways outweighs the logical rational knowledge that it cannot and will not happen right now.

I'm reaching the end of my rope. She's got a billion reasons why it needs to happen as soon as possible. Every one of them is, to her, entirely valid. If I disagree with her I'm not being sensitive to her needs and feelings. If she disagrees with me her thoughts are right and mine are wrong because she's the woman and she will have to carry the thing. I mean, she's repeatedly used the "my body won't recover from the pregnancy as well if I'm older" line to justify wanting to have it sooner. She's quoting autism statistics and studies and yelling at me that the five percent increased chance of complications from 30 to 35 is something that needs to motivate me to move my ass.

She wants to see me freaking out as much as she is. Her biggest problem is that, at this point, I don't think about kids. I have too many other goals to accomplish before they are a realistic possibility, I'm fighting for us to have a cohesive life that isn't living paycheck to paycheck before kids are a desire or consideration for me. She is angry at me, I feel like, because she is a woman with hormonal urges to have kids that make her think about this daily, and I am a dude who has nothing of the sort so I am focused on our goals, the things we need to and can accomplish. She wants me to obsess about children as much as she does. She knows it isn't and won't happen, because whatever biological clock I might have is entirely overridden by logic, and it makes her mad that I don't get it and don't feel like being harassed by her because of it. I can empathize with her when she is prepared to be reasonable, but right now she is not, and I'm getting really goddamn sick of it.

Therapy is not an option (uninsured and broke) so keep that in mind and if you're under 25 you do not have the life experience to give me an opinion I will respect (no offense intended) but if you're over 25 give me a perspective, ideas, anything.

Paging Rahzie to the front.

I'm under 25, but engaged, own a house and have loads of life experience under my belt.

First off, this is something that should have been discussed BEFORE marriage. You should have had more than enough warning that she wanted children earlier than you. That's where you're at fault. You rushed into marriage without getting your life priorities sorted out with each other first. What's done is done, though, so you've got to move on from here.

Your wife is at fault because she's being incredibly childish about it. You know what? I want to have children too. I haven't finished school yet, and we're not in a stable position yet, so I'm sucking it up until then. Your wife is an adult, and she is fully capable of making a mature, reasonable decision. If she isn't, then she certainly shouldn't be having children yet. Just because she's hormonal doesn't mean she can't be mature and think of your wishes as well as her own.

Really, you should be discussing it with her. Tell her that you would love to have children too, but that it just isn't possible right now. She knew ahead of time that you wanted to go to medical school, so she can't blame you for dropping it on her. Tell her she can't threaten you into it. If you have to, stop having sex with her if you can't trust her not to sabotage birth control.

You both need to sort out your priorities, separately and together. Are you prepared to divorce if she puts children ahead of your need to go to medical school? Is she prepared to live with you giving up medical school (including your disappointment, the financial difference) in order to have what she wants now? Work together to sort out budgets for all possible options so that she can see what will work and what won't.

You also need to stop letting her bully you. You're not an asshole for being responsible. Call her bluff when she makes empty threats. Stop bowing to her rage. She's attempting to emotionally blackmail you, which is just not acceptable. Tell her that you know what she's doing and you're not going to take it.

One last suggestion: do you/can you have a pet? We got a dog, and he fulfills most of my baby urges. Just a thought... they're much less expensive and lower commitment than a baby.

Q: Is it weir for girls to like playing on like ps3's and play black ops or shit like that? Like i dont get why everyone has a problem with it

My XBox gamerscore is higher than my fiance's.

It's just not a traditionally girly thing. People tend to think of girls as being quiet and passive. They forget that we can have every bit as much of a thirst for violence as our male counterparts!

Q: Those who wrote about not killing themselves have never faced financial ruin caused by economics.
Money is the breath and soul of life. Those who do not discuss money are hiding it.
Wouldn't you kill yourself if you lost everything as I have? I will find a painless way to kill myself,,, I will.

The fact that you are here, writing another question says that the advice you were given before worked, and that you don't really want to kill yourself.

Money doesn't make the world go round. Sure, it puts food on the table, but it doesn't make relationships work, it doesn't give you health and happiness, and it doesn't give you fulfillment. It's bits of paper with arbitrarily assigned values.

These things do happen to people, and yes, some people kill themselves because of it. That's because they put all their self-worth on those little bits of paper they were collecting.

If you have anything else going for you in your life: a talent, a relationship, a friendship, a hobby... that's where true fulfillment in life lies. I don't have money, but I do have happiness because of the relationships I've forged and the things I do.

Look. My parents lost over half of their retirement savings in the crash. Fortunately, it's building itself back up, but that was a lot to lose. They're not killing themselves over it. That's because money isn't life.

If you don't have relationships, make some. Volunteer, especially with those who are less fortunate than yourself. You can see how people can live life with even less than you have.

I'm going to tell you what I've told others who are seeking a painless way to commit suicide: there isn't one. Pills are commonly viewed as the least painful way, but I can tell you from (failed) experience that it isn't. It hurts more than you can possibly imagine. Damage to the liver and throwing up until you feel like you're about to vomit your intestines. Fun, huh? It just isn't painless. I've done the research, I've asked the same question. A painless method just doesn't exist.

Yes, rebuilding is hard. It sucks at times. Any pain you suffer in the process is repaid in happiness later on, though. Give it a chance.

Q: Where can I get bigger buttocks injections that will my butt get bigger?

You can't. No such thing exists. There is no pill, no injection, no cream that will make your butt bigger.

The size of your behind is related to your genetics, your body fat percentage and how much you exercise your glutes.

Q: I started to realize my friend who I became friends with at the beginning of the school year is a complete loser. She looks like she has a mustache and she doesn't use common sense. She's really ugly, annoying, and hangs out with complete losers.
One of my friends dumped me last year because of popularity and I wasn't popular, I'm not popular, I probably never will be, but I will be considered a 'cool geek'.
Okay here is why I don't want to be her friend:
~She has a mustache and wears boots every day, not cute boots but horse riding boots or what looks like those kinds of boots.
~She has a mustache
~She went out with a complete loser
~She doesn't use common sense
~Is friends with other losers, one of which looks like a hippy
~She calls me her 'gym buddy'
~SHE WATCHES SOAP OPERAS(and in seventh grade)
~She doesn't have a facebook, cell phone, or email.
So how do I dump her without hurting her feelings? I've been kind of ignoring her lately. . .why should I do?!! Also all of he losers I mentioned are losers according to everyone except heir 'friends'. Oh and we are in seventh grade 13 years old she is 12 though.

Please, for her good, stop being friends with her!

You're right. She does hang around with losers. Losers who will dump a friend because of some unfortunate facial hair and the fact that she doesn't communicate electronically. Losers who think it's more important to be popular than it is to be a decent human being.

I was one of those "losers" back in the day. You should be careful how you talk about them... the "losers" from my high school are now engineers and computer programmers. I ran into one of the popular girls working at a retail shop recently.

Q: Okaay, so there is this guy that I like but I don't know if I should ignore him or not because it might give him mixed signals. But one day I didn't talk to him at all and atleast every 5 minutes he would try to talk to me but I wouldn't answer. It seems like he likes me but I'm not so sure. What should I do? Also I am 13 and female and the guy I like is 13 too bur male.

If he did like you, he probably doesn't any more.

Playing hard to get is a delicate tactic. You aren't giving him mixed signals by ignoring him: you're telling him that you're not interested.

Playing hard to get doesn't mean ignoring the other person. Really, it's an oversimplified way of saying "don't be clingy and weird". Be friendly, but don't start planning the wedding.

The best way to get a guy to like you is to (cliched as it sounds) be yourself. If he doesn't like that, then nuts to him, because someone else will.

Q: okay so me and my girlfriend were getting coffee and since it was night and the noise from the cars and people went away, we thought that it was okay to have some fun . so we started playing on the park slides and when we got to the monkey bars we started kissing and soon we were making out and when i held her i found out she was wet and we were about to take it to the next level and we did but is this illegal because i dont want us to get in trouble

It is illegal, whether you were caught or not. You really shouldn't risk it again... being caught could result in you being pegged as a sex offender, which is a tag that would follow you your whole life.

It could also be illegal in other ways. We don't know how old you are, how old your girlfriend is, or where you live. In some places, the age of consent is as high as 18. Even if you're under 18, you can still be charged with sexual assault if she's under a certain age and complains (like, say, you break up or her parents find out and report you).

Educate yourself on the laws, and stay within them. You don't want to go to jail for a little fun in the park.

Ages of consent in the U.S.:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_North_America

Q: I want to get laser eye surgery in the future. However, I have astigmatism. Is it possible to get surgery if I have this? I know that astigmatism results in your corneas being more of an oval than a circular shape, so how would surgery correct this?

I'm not a doctor, but both my father and sister have astigmatism, and my father has had corrective surgery for it. He actually had it over 10 years ago, and is just needing reading glasses now.

Astigmatism is actually caused by inconsistencies in the shape of the cornea. Rather than making it an oval (like near-sightedness or far-sightedness), which makes your eyes focus light at a point before or after the retina, astigmatism scatters the light and keeps it from focusing in one place.

When they do laser surgery for it, they smooth out the surface of the cornea.

If you want more particulars, many laser eye surgery specialists offer free consultation sessions. They can answer your questions.

Q: im between the ages of 14-17 and i want to be a cosmetologist when i grow up. is it a good career? how much will it pay? wat classes do i need for it?

PS. i decided to choose this career because i love doing hair,makeup, nails etc. so its a job im intersted in.

You can go to a beauty school that is specifically catered towards teaching cosmetology.

How much you get paid is all up to you. You can get paid minimum wage working at a cosmetics counter, or you can get paid $100 an hour or more to do wedding or modelling makeup. You can set your own hours, or work from home on the side to make a little extra cash.

It's a good career if you're doing what you want to do. Some might look down on it, but life would be pretty boring if we were all doctors and engineers. If you can do your passion for a living, you're ahead of a lot of people!

Q: If you say anything about "There's a reason for you to be here" or anything about God or giving life a second chance, shove it. I'm 22, have had diabetes since I was 9, have had multiple sclerosis for over a year, have been the president of a club on faith, and have done so many other things that people have suggested. No one gives a shit about me, and that is that. People who I've taken care of for years don't care about me.Life, is bull shit. What is the best way to end it, in your guy's opinion? The least amount of mess too, I've thought about using my pistol, but then there will be brain matter for others to clean up. What is the easiest and cleanest way to commit suicide?

Short answer: There isn't an easy way, and there certainly isn't a clean way. Most of all, you're not going to get what you want here.

Long answer:

First off, don't come here and tell us to shove it. In fact, I'm going to do you a huge favour and tell YOU to shove it right now. I'm 23, have failed out of university multiple times, have several mental illnesses/disorders and severe asthma. Does that mean my life isn't worth living? Because I've been operating under the misunderstanding that it is.

Hey, don't get me wrong. I've been there. I lost contact with my family and friends. I lost just about everything, got into debt, attempted suicide multiple times. So I'm not feeding you touchy-feely bullshit. I'm also an atheist, so you don't have to worry about any God-speak coming from me.

If you're feeling like this, you need to get yourself to a hospital or another safe place where you have no access to anything dangerous. A friend's house, a parent's house, a shelter. Whatever you need to do, just remove yourself from the danger until you can think rationally.

I'm not going to tell you to give life a second chance, because that is B.S. I'm going to tell you to give life a third chance, fourth chance, hundredth chance, millionth chance. Your life is made up of billions of moments, and it's a matter of taking the good and learning from or moving on from the bad. For every bad moment, there are hundreds of good ones. Yes, you experience pain. Lots of it. You also experience sunsets, ice cream and puppies. It's not all bad. You need to find a way to fill your moments with happiness. Have you considered getting involved in the MS community? You can start fundraisers for research, speak out to raise awareness, volunteer at the hospital. Help others... it helps to bring meaning to your life.

Dealing with a serious health diagnosis, you should be seeing a counselor. They can help you to sort out your thoughts on the matter and show you how to make your life more like what you want it to be. They can also refer you to a psychiatrist who can make decisions as to whether you could use some pharmaceutical help.

The fact that people are responding to your question here and disagreeing with you should tell you that we all "give a shit about you" on here. I bet there are people who have read your question but don't feel qualified to answer, but STILL feel concern and empathize with you. In fact, I'm pretty sure I won't get a response from you (any questions I've ever answered about suicide don't get a response) but I still care enough about an anonymous stranger to step in and tell them not to make the biggest mistake of their life. Take what you can from us reaching out to you. People do care.

Suicide, or even attempted suicide, is a hostile act. It hurts everyone around you. It hurts your family, friends, old high school acquaintances, the cleaners who have to peel you off the walls, the cemetery workers who have to bury a person who should have lived a full, happy life. Most of all it hurts you. It means you've given up on yourself. Give yourself a little more credit, and get the help you need to get out of this.

Q: Hi,
I'm having more of a problem with my hair as time goes by. I have elbow length hair. My hair needs to be washed every other day as my scalp/hair- esp front gets oily otherwise. After I wash it- I use Garnier shampoo and the deep conditioner- my hair becomes extremely tangled. i can never brush it, it needs combing for a good 20minutes and then can i only style it. I usually let it airdry and only on occasion I blowdry and straighten. Since the last year it feels as if my hair is getting more damaged/unhealthy. Am not sure what to do. I dont use anything else, no styling products, no hair color. Some say not to wash it as often but I ve been doing that since forever and otehrwise it will get oily. Am I using the right shampoo. Do I need to use any other product. Please advice for both the unhealthy and tangled problems!
THanks.

When's the last time you had your hair cut? It might be time for a good trim. Damaged hair gets tangled really easily, so trimming it frequently will help prevent tangles.

My hair's shorter than yours, but I still have the same sort of problems, especially in the winter (sweaters are my worst enemy). I started using Herbal Essences Long Term Relationship line, and it's easing up.

There's a shampoo, conditioner and leave-in conditioner. I use the leave-in on my roots and under my neck only. It has really cut down on the split ends and tangles, and I haven't had any problems with using it every day.

bio

My Personal Forum

My name is Amanda and I'm 26 years old. I'm currently studying electrical engineering. Armed with a fairly odd sense of humour and a sunny outlook on life, I'll take on just about anything. I'm also cussedly stubborn, which has its ups and downs. Things get tough sometimes, and I've never been one to run from it.

In my last 8 years with Advicenators, I've gone from honours student to failing out of university (and getting back on top again!), from single to married, from tenant to homeowner.

Until lately, I have been struggling with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and OCD, which had basically ruined my life and taken just about everything from me. I'm thankful every day for every experience I've had because of this ordeal, because it's helped to make me who I am today. Things like that really make you appreciate what you do have. Now that I'm back in work and school and starting to become myself again, I couldn't be happier. I credit Advicenators with saving my life back when I was a teenager, which is a big part of why I'm still here.

I won't necessarily give you the answers you want to hear, but I'll always be honest and do my best to help.