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well i am i right or is my dad right (long)
Ok well i am 14 and a girl
My "father" moved in with us 3 years ago when we were living with a family member
From the 1st sec i hated him
When he got to the house he started telling us what to do and being mean
A year after that my "mom" and "dad" bought a house without telling me or my brother which we all decided they would tell us
They bought a crap house where the air conditioning was bad, a big oil pipe in the backyard, and old wooden floor. (THERE WE BETTER HOUSES BUT "HE" WANTED THE WORST ONE))
Next he yells a lot and i am a person that would say "the hell would help you" when i get yelled at
So he would always get mad instead of listening to my mom (she is sweet and i love her will all my heart but i really do think that she is complete retard) about getting a moving van to move he made my older brother do all the work of moving and "he" would call my bro a retsrd and that he could not do anything right while he just stood there
He took 20 round trips with my brother and my mom had to buy the gas
Then we got a bunny and he took my bunny outside (a cage with pipes as walls)
PS i am an animal lover and future vet!
I told "him" not to and that he would run away
we i came back from dinner my bunny was gone
But like always he would do whatever the hell he wanted (all in 1 1/2 years)
List of "him"
-anger problems
-bought old crap to call furniture instead of my cousin new couches that she offered to give us
- Curses all the time (before he came into our lives we would never curse at all but then they started)
- called the puppy we got mine when he punishes her and he chooses everything
-he yells at my mom and she takes it (she is a retard like i said)
- he tease me because in am shorted then normal
-calls my mom names
-keeps on saying that "then i will got back" whenever my mom got mad at him
-he has no job and does nothing around the house
About me
- I hate cleaning i get allergies
-i can't wash dishes because i would get a cold
-i have a lot of homework and projects to help me mom cook
-i love new things so my mom buys some like every 5 months
oh yeah also i had 2 surgeries and the first time we had to stay in a hotel after he stole the remote, changed what i was watching to some movie with cow crap in it and i get sick with that)
Cause of that i slept on the floor a few hours after my surgery
I asked my mom so many times to divorce him cause in all we all hate him even his own siblings
Well there is WHOLE lot more of thing he did that i hate him for
1.what i am asking is am i right for hating him so d**** much
2.should my mom divorce him?
3.would you hate him
THANK YOU FOR READING AND SORRY FOR THE LONG DETAILS
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW MORE JUST EMIL ME :D
also he is my real dad we can my mom, brother, and i came here 8 years ago
3 years ago "he" got his greencard
and i have been trying to cope with him but they alway end up bad the last time this happened:
my brother, dad and i went shopping for fish (during the move i lost "erick" my 4 year old betta fish that i loved with all my heart i kept his tank" "he wanted to use my erick's tank for his new cheap fish (all the fish that went into that tank after erick died. that tanks) the tank ment the world to me because it was the every last time that i was happy for real cause when we got to the new house my other 8 year old dog died by getting hit by a car-he was the only one that went out that morning
ok well he started screaming cause i would not let him use it and i told him from the begining
he yelled at me for 10 mins and when my mom came in he yelled at her to saying how "you don't teach your childern anything" well to make it short he yelled at me to take it out of the living room if i would no use it and i cried for the whole evening (i am very sensetive when people are mean to me especilly about my pets)
my mom had to bring me food first before she went to work because i would not go down stairs
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
I think the best thing to do is talk with your mom and family about it and tell her that it is effecting you. This would drive me crazy but just remember you have to do some chores too even if you hate them.
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"- I hate cleaning i get allergies
-i can't wash dishes because i would get a cold
-i have a lot of homework and projects to help me mom cook
-i love new things so my mom buys some like every 5 months"
Seriously? And you wonder why your dad yells at you all of the time. Grow up and stop complaining. Help your parents out, maybe? Get a job? The list of possibilities are endless.
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1. The bible doesn't agree with divorce, so i would not recommand it.
2. you do have to respect your father, i was thought frowing up that you should respect your elders no matter what.
3. you are also at fault just like you father is.
4. i don't undetstand why your father that you haven't seen for a long time, would come back, and your wouldn't be happy.
5. truly talk to him and set teh family down to talk out things.
6. Your brother has been the man, while your brother was gone right?, what does he have to say?
ADDING ON!!
From the comment you wrote me, I am shocked.
your father gives you money and asks you to be home ate a certain time and you say you instead do that. I just look at that it makes me wonder about all other children out there with no parents who would love to have a father with them. I hope someday your own children don't treat you the way you treat him and i pray someday your children won't see you cry like your father is crying for you, because believe me, parents can either open your future or close it
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Im gonna make this short and simple and answer your 3 questions.
1. No your not right. Your father is your father. Respect your elders. Sounds to me like you have quite a sense of entitlement that you have done nothing to deserve.
2. Its your mothers choice who she is married to not yours. You are 14 and know nothing of being an adult or having responsibilities.
3. I probably wouldn't hate him. More likely you would annoy me.
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Your father might be the nastiest, most evil man to every walk on this earth, but anyone who reads this question darling is also going to have to admit that you aren't a ray of sunshine either.
You are demanding and have a sense of entitlement that is shocking, and you express your anger very, very poorly. You throw tantrums.
Your father was actually fair to say that if you were going to refuse to have the tank used for any other fish, then you should remove it from the shared room in the house. That was a fair request. He might have been a total asshole about how he said it (and I'd bet, you weren't exactly clear and calm about the way you responded either) but he still had a point.
I'm sorry you are in a tough place. I'm sure it sucks. Unfortunately there is no law against mean people having kids. But the way to make it suck less isn't to go around screaming until you make yourself sick. That only makes things worse for you. Throwing these tantrums only makes everyone more stressed and angry, and you're contributing to your own misery.
Learn to take deep breaths, and think calmly before you react. Your father might never be any better than the lousy, nasty, name-calling jerk he is today HOWEVER, that doesn't mean you get to behave just as selfishly and awfully.
Stop trying to act out to punish him - it's not going to work. You need to get calmer and more proactive in the way you address things. He might never be any better, but if you chill out and work on being more accepting and humble, YOU'LL be happier even if the situation still sucks.
You are 14 years old hun. You are too old for these tantrums. You need to find a better way to handle conflict and disappointment.
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Hun your perfectly fine with how your dealing with this because its exactly that. This is your way of dealing with it. The person that answerdd before me has no clue what they are talking about. Parents should put their children first. Absolutely number one over everything. Yes you should have had a say in the buying of the house. Yes your mother should stand up for you and yes the way your acting is totally normal. I don't care what your age race religion or gender is. No one deserves to be treated like crap. Everyone deserves to be respected. To get respect you gotta give it and that goes both ways. Your right for telling your mother how you feel in this because frankly your growing up and becoming your own person and setting your own rules for your self. Your parents especially your dad needs to understand that. Its good that you are choosing not to be bullied by your father. Feel free to message me anytime. -alw.x3
P.S. the person that answered before me would get along real well with your father if you ask me... ;) good luck
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I can guarantee that you're not going to like my answer.
You are way out of line. You are the child in this relationship. He is your father. You have no right to choose where you live (are you paying the bills?). You have no right to decide what the rules of the house are, and you most certainly should not be telling your mother to divorce your father.
Your excuses as to why you can't do chores are ridiculous. I have severe asthma and allergies, and I still manage to clean. You can't get a cold from doing the dishes. Billions of people around the world manage to do their dishes without catching colds.
You want to know what I think? I think you sound like an incredibly self-entitled, whiny, obnoxious brat. Try being nice to your father, and respecting his decisions. Contribute around the house. Stop ordering your father around. Your family pays for your food, your shelter, your pets, your things. Start treating them with the respect they deserve. Act like an adult, and they'll treat you like an adult. Keep acting like this, and you will end up alone. Your parents won't support you forever, and nobody else would live with someone who acts the way you are now.
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