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starting from zero
hi, i am shirin bansal, male, 18 years old from india. its about my first love.we got to know each other in a coaching in October,2009.to keep the story short, i started liking her, proposed her for being a girlfriend, she never said yes or no, it was all well for just 20 days, then everything went wrong, we never dated, i lost total contact after 17th march,2010 but always sent her messages on her phone and facebook profile, i stalked her.meanwhile, in that time, she got admission in a far city for college.one day, i got her number, called her but i was too desperate and nothing changed.i tried once more but this time she was too loud and rude, so i stopped contacting her since October,2010.
Everything went wrong because of me. i never understand any situation, never gave her space, i was too desperate and never used my brain.
The thing is even today, i think of her every second, i feel its incomplete, i want another chance as i feel i can now handle it very well.But she is completely screwed up with my constant desperate behaviour. i want to start from nil, to be friends again, then take it to the level of relationship,slowly and gradually
how can i start from scratch,how will she become normal and atleast be my friend?she has set up her mind not to talk to me?i love her, i miss her but i am mature now and can be her boyfriend if she forgets the past.will time normalize her? how much time will fade away my past image?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I say give her space for a little while. Maybe even a couple months. Girls like their space and like to think things through. Then, call her. Tell her (if she doesn't answer, leave a message) that you are sorry for being so stalkerish in the past. You really just want to be friends and you two should hangout some time. Give it a couple weeks, and if she still doesn't call you, then oh well. At least you tried. Time will only tell if she wants to be friends with you or not. Though you can't force her to like you.
Some tips: girls like feeling wanted, but they also want time alone as well. They don't like being called every single minute five times a day. Once or twice will do. For your girl maybe one or twice every few days. Dont control her, trust her. All will be well. XX
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It's something that we are all guilty of from time to time, so don't be too angry with yourself because of this!
The best way to convince her that you have matured and can give her the space she needs is to let her know that you would like to be friends (nothing more) and that you will let her make the decision. If she decides that she doesn't want to speak with you any more, let her be. I know it's not fun to think about, but you can't force her into friendship. It might take some time. Once you're friends, take it very slow. Wait a long time before you even mention dating, and if she doesn't seem interested, back off and wait some more. Let her see that you're not desperate and she'll be more open.
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