about

My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

27 female

I was molested by my dad when i was 3 in 1991 .my mom pressed charges against him . The court gave him 1 night in jail and got 10year probation plus my mom divorced him and was only allowed supervises visitation but my question is that when I was little my granny let him live in the house that she owned right behind me.why did law enforcement allow this when there is a sex offender law ?

Different states have different laws regarding sex offenders as to where they can live and as to whether or not the need to register as a sex offender. Registering as a sex offender is a relatively new requirement imposed on sex offenders after release from prison or if put on probation.

Not knowing where you live or lived at the time your dad molested you. I cannot say or do any research to see when certain laws which may have given you more protection were instituted. This information is easy enough to obtain if you desire to get it by going to the local Circuit Court or District Attorney's office and asking for the information.

If you find that was a violation of law there may be remedy at law that you could get by discussing this with an assistant District Attorney.

I am so sorry this happened to you, no one at any age should suffer what you have. I would like to make sure that you have dealt with this properly and can move on with this properly. If you have not had therapy for this I suggest you find a qualified psychologist to talk with. If you did have some type of therapy when this happened I would suggest you have some more as this letter tells me you have not put this behind you and moved on.

I'm not saying you will ever forget what happened, which is a mistake many parents make when something like this happens to someone as young as you were. Parents feel you will eventually forget, not true. It just sits in the back of your mind and can ruin your life and marriage at some later date.

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Hi everyone, 29/f.
The long and short of it is, despite my meds, it's dreary and I'm feeling depressed. The biggest problem is I have no energy (and caffeine triggers my anxiety) to DO anything to get rid of this feeling. Otherwise I'd clean my apartment, or something...

How do I shake myself out of the blahs? How do YOU shake the blues?

Most of solidadvice4teens advice is very good. Having suffered with depression myself I am going to add to the advice in a different manner.

TO start with who is administering your medications? If it is your family doctor this is not the right doctor to be treating your depression. Family doctors are like a jack of all trades the know enough about everything to evaluate and initially treat you. At some point they need to send you to a specialist. With people like us that specialist is a Board Certified Psychiatrist who is also a medical doctor who has done a fellowship in psychiatry and past all the requirements to be certified by the College of Psychiatry.

Most depression is not mental disease but a medical disease best treated by a Board Certified psychiatrist because it is caused by a lack of chemicals secreted into the brain causing a chemical imbalance. There are a number of different medicines to treat this problem. The one my family doctor shoes didn't help much. The one my psychiatrist chose worked miracles.

The next problem with depression is that it is circular in nature. Anxiety causes pain, pain causes depression and depression causes anxiety. Until you break the circle even with medication you will continue to suffer some form of depression to some degree.

How do you break the circle? With talk therapy with a qualified psychologist to find out the trigger for the anxiety. If you can find out what triggers the anxiety you can break the chain because you can learn to deal better with what the triggers is. What is important here is finding a psychologist you are comfortable with for the psychologist is your new best friend someone you are willing to tell your deepest darkest secrets to comfortable in knowing no one else will know of them.

I went through three before I found a lady I was comfortable with. It's not easy baring your sole but together we worked hard and the trigger was found. She also saw something else that I had buried deep in my subconscious and she kept at me until I gave it up. I won't go into what it was just that when she finally got it out of me the light at the end of the tunnel turned into the light of day.

I am a much happier person today and off the meds. When I started talk therapy I didn't know what to expect. I knew I was hurting but didn't know how this worked for just where did you put the bandaid?

I will tell you that it does work if your willing to put the effort into it. The proper meds take about 2 to 3 weeks to fully restore the balance of chemicals though you start to feel better after about 5 days.

My advice is as follows.
1. Make sure you are seeing a Board Certified Psychiatrist. If you are not then make an appointment to see one. If need be call your local hospital Patient referral line for a referral to one. If you are seeing the right doctor then make an appointment and tell the doctor the meds aren't working and they will be adjusted.

2. If you are in talk therapy you need to be. Your Psychiatrist can recommend one or you can go through the hospital patient referral line if you wish. If you are in talk therapy decide how comfortable you are with the therapist. You might want to try a different therapist someone you can connect with better. Possibly a women.

Depression is not something you can treat by yourself you need to professionals I have recommended.

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I'm wondering how ancient timelines work. Like in BCE, are larger numbers older or smaller numbers. For example, did 8000 BCE come first or 1000 BCE? I'm asking this because I'm writing something about history and I don't wanna sound stupid.

The numbers before BC work backwards from 8000 to 1. After BC they work upwards from 1 to 2017 today. I realize it is a bit strange and I would like to explain the why of it but I'm not sure I could do so correctly so I won't try. I just know this is the way things are.

If you need real clarification I would recommend asking a member of the clergy.

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Ok if I want to improve my financial condition so what is the way ?I want to established myself.and I m absolutely feeling alone so how I established myself?

Improving one’s financial condition and establishing themselves are two different goals thought they do intertwine as one should and must be secure financially in order to establish themselves. While there are some basics to establishing one’s self they tend to go with the how, what and where of establishing yourself. To offer you any advice on that subject we would need more information on what you would like to establish yourself in. Things like what your life plan may be and the goals you might want to establish. Your education and training also are helpful.

As for improving your financial condition; you start by getting a copy of your credit rating from the three main credit companies. The first thing you want to look for is your F.I.C.A. score. Anything below 650 is bad, 650 to 700 are marginal, and 750 to 800 are good, 800 and above are considered excellent.

If your credit is below 740 then you should look at the reports and find out what or who of your creditors have reported you to the credit agencies and for what reason. You have a right to challenge anything that is wrongly reported. IF you are constantly late with payments then this is something we can work on as late payments will bring your credit score down. Another thing that will bring you score down and makes no sense but constantly applying for credit even if approved brings your score down so be cautious with applying for credit.

How to rectify late payments? You start by putting together a budget; list all your expenses for each month which include the normal things such as rent, food, utilities, transportation, insurance, dry cleaning and entertainment. Then you add in a line for monthly credit card bills and other revolving charges you may have. This is the line that can cause the most problems because when added together they exceed our ability to pay them even at the minimum required amount. IF this is where you find yourself I will have a few suggestions for you below. If not then do as I did; my bank offers on-line bill pay service. My problem was sitting down writing checks. With on-line bill pay no more checks to write the bank took care of it and if I schedule the payment to arrive on time and it arrived late the bank would talk to the creditor and correct the problem and pay the late fee in needed. The advantage to my creditors was if the subscribed to electronic fund transfers the got cash the day I said to pay them. If not they received a bank check in the mail which is the same as cash. No more bounced checks because the bank took the funds before payment and if the checking account was short they moved money from my savings account or they did not pay the bill and sent me an email.

You have put together you budget and find you do not have the money to cover all needed expenses because of credit card debt. There are two choices: See if you can find a bank or loan company to float you a debt consolidation loan. In general when they do something like this they will send checks to all of your creditors and then bill you monthly at a lower cost for the outstanding amount of your loan. If you cannot do that then find a credit counseling agency. These agencies charge a fee to help fix your credit and usually are able to get you a debit consolidation loan or they make you the loan themselves. This is a bit more expensive then the first option and takes a bit longer to pay them off. If you follow their advice when you’re done you should have great credit again.

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I am a 13 year old female who has done TONS of research on Islam, the Quran, the Hadiths, etc. I have converted, and I practice in secret. I was brought up in a Catholic family. My father in particular is a Trump supporter who HATES Muslims and has even talked about wanting to kill them. He's the one I'm most worried about but I still am not sure how I am supposed to tell anyone in my family, even the most religiously accepting. I'm not sure if I should wait until I'm supporting myself or what. They are getting suspicious on me not eating pork all of a sudden and slipping out 5 times a day. How should I go about doing this? Islamphobe=ignored so don't even bother.

You are really between a rock and a hard place. Legally you are a minor and must do as your parents wish this includes practicing the religion they teach you unless they give you permission to practice another religion.

That being said there is nothing in man's law that can force you to practice your family's religion other than church law. On the other hand there are other laws such as being named as a delinquent that your parents could use against you.

True Islam is a Peaceful and Peace loving religion. Many Parts of the Quran encompass in values many parts of other religions. Unfortunately because of terrorism in the name of Islam and the Prophet Muhammad people fear Islam like your father.

Normally I would suggest trying to teach your father and others about true Islam before coming out to them. You're two young to do this they will only respond you have no idea what your talking about. If you do come out to them they will fear ISIS has gotten to you and converted you to their cause.

My advise is to talk to your Imam if you have one for advice. If not and I feel you may not then you will have to follow you parents desires for you until you are older and can fight a better fight or old enough to go out on your own.

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I recently passed the board exam and now a professional. Its been 3 months and I dont have a job yet although I really fail to put effort in it for the first 2 and half months. Now I feel like I am a burden, but I do not like to rush my job search because I want to be so sure about it. There were offers for me but I keep on declining them because of the location and the nature of work. Am i being picky? I wanted to have job already, but I cant just say yes to something that I do not sincerely like. My mother keep on nagging about this and she is afraid about what others may say now that I am still unemployed. Thanks in advance.

There are two sides to every coin and this coin may have a third side.

Side one - It is understandable that you want a job that is fulfilling and will be your life's work. You say you have had offers but turn them down because of location and nature of work. I understand location but without knowing your profession cannot expand on nature of work.

Side two - This is an off the rack world nothing is a custom fit. When offered a position look at what they are offering and see if the position is flexible enough to allow you to tailor it to fit what you want the position to be.

Again not knowing exactly what your profession is I can't say exactly how to tailor the position. What I do know is that employers look for two things when they look for a new employee. First someone who can hit the ground running. Second someone who is bright and energetic who can bring new ideas to the position. This where you get to tailor the position.

Side Three - This one will hurt a bit. After 3 months and several job offers you have to stop and take a good look at yourself. You need to find out if you are lacking motivation, being too picky or just being lazy. Sorry if I have hurt your feelings but most people would not be to picky especially if they have the start of student loan repayment staring down their necks.

You have 3 more months and you will need to start repaying any student loans you have. You are given a six month grace period to find a job, set up where your going to live and get things in order and hopefully back some payments in advance so that you are not student debt poor.

My advice is take the next offer that is 70 to 85 percent of what you are looking for. The reason I recommend this is you are reaching a point where future employers are going to start to wonder why someone else hasn't hired you. Then you start down the road of hard core unemployed and it will be even harder to find the job you want.

Once you are employed you can continue your job search for your ultimate position. Just remember what I said about this being an off the rack world.

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A few months ago I started meeting up with someone and we decided to have sex (I should probably state that I'm female). It was my first time ever having sex and ever since I've been feeling so desperate to keep having sex. Almost every single time we've seen each other we've had sex. Although I was originally hoping for a steady and serious relationship I can't seem to control my urges. We haven't tried anything different and we can only meet up once every few weeks. I feel like I'm so deprived of sex most of the time. I don't know what this means for me and what I should do.

Sex is that decadent treat when once tried we can't seem to get enough of but is not always around when we crave it. It would be a lot easier to answer this question if I knew your age.

From what you have written and the fact that this was your first sexual experience should I assume you are hopefully in your late teens or older. I am not going to give you the lecture on waiting until you are married but I will lecture you on safe sex.

There are alternatives to intercourse to reduce the sexual anxiety you are feeling and I will talk about them in a minute. First intercourse and pregnancy. If you are under 18 your boyfriend is not the one who has to tell his parents he's pregnant; you are. Regardless of what he says about using condoms you must insist he use a condom as it offers the best protection other than the pill against pregnancy. Worn correctly it is 85% effective in preventing pregnancy and it provides protection against many STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus. He may make all types of excuses for not wearing one, fact is if he does not you tell him no sex. As long as one of you is over 14 one of you can purchase the condoms.

Masturbation is the best way to relieve sexual anxiety. Contrary to what you may have been told masturbation is not dirty. Your parents when making love during foreplay participate in mutual masturbation. Dad fingers mom and mom jerks off dad.

There is no reason in the privacy of your bedroom or your bath that you cannot relieve yourself. It is not a sin to masturbate and most religions while not condoning it they do not condemn it either. The reason for telling you not to masturbate is it feels good. In fact it feels so good that parents fear you will want the real thing. Instead they should be telling you to masturbate as an alternative.

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Hello all, he asks a personal questions like, which college do you go to, which church do you go, such as birthday, says I might have seen you somewhere around here etc. So, is this normal for a bloke or is he just a another weirdo? Men point of view please?! Thank u all.

Everyone has their own opinion on those types of questions. TO me those are icebreaking questions I would ask to get to know someone. A couple of questions I would even ask a guy if he looked like someone I might have met somewhere.

You see a girl you would like to meet. There are the standard lines such as, "Where have you been all my life," which never work by the way, or you can go up to her and introduce yourself. Maybe you ask if you can buy her a drink then what? You have just met what do you talk about. Those questions are fairly normal questions to try and get a conversation going.

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I just want to feel feel pretty sometimes. So basically back in December my friend and I were walking around a mall and some guy came up to her and said "hey sweetness" which is slang for "hey beautiful" I just shrugged it off because in high school all the guys used to chase her and I was always the invisible friend pushed to the side. So last Friday that same friend and another girl and I went to a different mall and we saw a group of guys. Long story short those guys followed us throughout the whole mall but I know If my pretty friend wasn't there they wouldn't have bothered. So my friend tested it by waving at one of them and the guy nearly had a heart attack and he was basically walking backwards watching her leave after waving back. So then my other friend she was dressed nice was saying those guys were coming for her and my pretty friend and didn't even acknowledge me at all. I'm used to it though so I didn't say anything. So I just need some tips to look more attractive, here's a description on how I look,so I'm 18 but I have a baby face so people sometimes mistake me for 13 I want to start wearing makeup but I need a job first cause I can't really afford makeup right now. There's nothing wrong with my body it's on the curvy side but I cover it up with baggy clothes because when I don't, guys approach me and I already know it's for the wrong reasons. One time I was wearing a maxi skirt and a guy cat called me from his car and then when I turned around he had a look of shock when he saw my face and quickly sped away. Anyways my friend she wears makeup and she's curvy as well but she was wearing her winter jacket, so was I so you couldn't see either of our shapes. The difference with the both of us that we're both black but she's light skinned like Rihanna and I'm dark skinned like Kelly Rowland and if you look online you can see dark skinned black girls go through a lot of struggles. I was hit on back in September wearing my baggy clothes by some guy but I turned him down cause I was 17 at the time and he looked about 20 (I turned 18 in December) and he was also an international student so even though we both go to the same school we would be culturally different

So your on the curvy side that you hide under baggy clothes. Well that is one reason you don't get hit on your hiding your best assets Having a baby face is not a liability it is really an asset but it takes some proper hair styling to make it an asset. Makeup on a dark skinned black girl is something you need to be careful with. TO much or the wrong makeup and you will send the wrong message.

What you need is a complete makeover from what you wore and who you were in high school. This is an obtainable if you remember that Rome was not built in a day. It is going to take time and money to do it write. Your present clothing will be fine for when you are not looking to make an impression or just hanging out at home. It may even be fine for work depending on what type of job you get as office romances are never good.

I would start by seeking out a good hair stylist and asking for help with a hairstyle that will enhance your facial features while playing down the baby face. I'm thinking he or she will probably suggest a style that frames your face somewhat.

Next when you can afford the proper makeup for a dark skinned black woman; seek out the help of a cosmetologist. You will probably find one working in a major department store such as Macy's and Nordstrom's' in the cosmetics department. They work on commission so there advice and the help they give you in showing you how to use the makeup to your best advantage is free.

Last is clothing. You want clothing that sends the right message. You have a baby face so you are going to need your clothing to send the right message and to fit properly because of your curvy body. Your hairstyle, your clothes, your demeanor all send a message. When you want to attract someone you need to dress to kill so to speak. In your case you need to dress up to look older which means slightly longer hem lines. Not baggy clothing but nothing skin tight either.

As I said to begin with this will take time. I assume you still live at home rent free so you don't have that to worry about. Don't be in a rush to move out as living at home rent free is to your advantage once you have an income. When you do set up a budget. Set aside something for clothing, makeup and hairstyling as well as something for savings. Setting aside something for saving is very important even if it is $5.00 a week that is $20 a month or $250.00 a year. You also budget for entertainment and emergencies. At the end of the month if you have
funds left over put half in into savings and the rest into your emergency funds.

Should you do as I am suggesting not only will you look and feel better. You will have the basics of budgeting that will help you for the rest of your life as well as some basics in goal setting.

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I know it can cause memory loss and loss of concentration/focus.

How can I improve all these as these are extremely horrid?

The simple answer is yes. Having suffered from depression myself I know how horrid this illness can be on someone. Depression is the cause for many different feelings you may have. One of which that is most affected is perception. When depressed we tend to see things differently then they may be and is something you need to be aware of.

To improve means to get treatment for your depression. Simple or clinical depression, which is what most of us who suffer from depression are diagnosed with, is not a mental illness. It is more of a medical condition as it is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain.

The best doctor to treat you for this illness is not your family doctor. Your family doctor can screen you and make an initial diagnoses and may even recommend some medication. The doctor best able to treat you is a Board Certified Psychiatrist, who is a MD who has had a Fellowship in psychiatry and past the testing to be certified as a psychiatrist.

Certain types of antidepressants have a zombie like side effect. Those drugs are for treating other types of depression. The drugs used for clinical depression take several weeks to build up in your system as they do the veil of depression will lift it will be a very natural type effect.

You will probably be sent for talk therapy with a psychologist. I found this most beneficial as it is designed to get at the cause of the depression. something like a smell or a taste or something you saw may have triggered a memory. For me it was a number of events that happened at one time that triggered something and the psychologist I worked with saw something else something I didn't even know I was holding back. Eventually she got it out of me and then we dealt with it.

TO day I am a much happier person than I have been for much of my adult life. It took those number of events to send me for help making me realize I was hurting. I had been depressed for so long I thought I was normal.

My suggestion is to get properly diagnosed and then seek treatment. If medication is offered accepted and take it as instructed. You will not need to take it for life only for a year maybe two.

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My husband don't want our relationship anymore

We need more information such as why your husband has left you and any other relevant information so that we might offer some suggestions.

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Hi.. I'm just 11 and today is not going great with me.... please help well I was going to school but still packing and as I know it I feel a sharp pain that made me sit down. It was getting worse every minute. Then I started to feel my whole stomach hurt but the spot that was hurting the most was the original spot gained more pain. My whole stomach was feeling like a tingling pain. Now I try explaining to my mom but I tried but when I speak it hurts even more. Even if I breathe through my mouth deep or short it hurts even more. Now I can't help it now every minute goes by it gets worse every last time. Now the tingling pain goes to normal pain while my sharp pain turns into a far worse then sharp. Please help I kept telling my mom I'm not lieing because she thinks I'm making an excuse to not go to school. Please help me I'm really scared what's going to happen to me.....

If you have not seen a doctor and you are still in pain you can call 911 and ask for help. Calling 911 is the same as going up to a police officer when lost and asking for help. You do not have to be an adult to call 911.

Tell the call taker how your feeling and that you have asked your mom to take you to a doctor but she has refuse. Tell the call taker you really don't feel well, your in pain and you need hale. Be specific on where the sharp pains are, left side or right side then ask for a Paramedic ambulance to be sent.

Based on your age and the symptoms you have written about what will happen next is this and you should not be scared for this is all to help you. The nearest fire truck will be sent. In most states the firefighters are EMTs. They are sent to care for you and assess your condition to pass on to the responding Paramedics. A police officer is also dispatched. The officer is there to make sure that if the firefighters or Paramedics think you need to go to the hospital to see a doctor that your mom allows them to take.

If your reading this in school go to the school nurse and tell the nurse how you feel and ask that 911 be called. Most nurses will call 911 when they feel you need to see a doctor without you asking.

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My friend is super lucky. Her parents make a lot of money, she always gets to buy merchandise for her favorite youtubers and so on. She has a nice, cool, older sister, who has the same tastes as her, and is amazing at art. She gets to go to concerts, and I remember complaining that a musical I ABSOLUTELY love is expensive, but I really want to go, and she's going later this month. She has a dog, a cat, and a hamster. She's super pretty, and has a lot of friends, and all the boys like her. I love her to death, she's my best friend, funny and kind and sarcastic and mean but in a loving way. I need help.

You're asking for help but did not say what kind of help you want or need. We cannot help you get tickets for that Musical if that is what you are asking for. Write back and be specific on what help you wish for.

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It's a Rachel again . My mom does not have legal guardianship over me. She has talked about it,but never followed through with it.

If your mother does not have legal guardianship over you then at 27 getting your tubes tied is between you and your doctor. Even with your low IQ you are a legal adult without guardianship and can make this request on your own.

Now given everything you said yesterday a doctor may want someone more responsible to authorize the procedure. This would be for his/her protection. If this happens then it is a legal matter in which case you go to a legal aid lawyer and ask for a court order to have the procedure. Once you have the court order, for which I see no reason a court would refuse as it is reasonable. Any doctor would do the procedure.

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My name is Rachel and I am a 27 year old female and I am going to the doctor to talk to him and see if I can get my tubes tied because I do not want kids.
I am 100 percent sure of this because I have so many mental health problems . I have Anxiety , an essential trimmer that causes me to shake. I also have been diagnosed as mentality retarde with an iq of 69 .I have a new diagnosis called sensory processing disorer. I can't stand loud noises. I can't cook, drive, or live on my own. I get SSI and I can't even control my own money . My mom does that. I do not want to be one of those mothers that has someone work raise her kids. My mom said she needed to have a talk with me . My mom said that my 16 year old niece wants to adopt when she gets older because she don't want to give her kids the genetic disease that she has and said she would help me when she got older , but I don't want to have a baby and make someone else raise it . Help.can I still get get this done if my mom says no with an IQ of 69. Help!

This is both a medical and legal question one which I would need more information such as does your mother have legal guardianship over you.

I think what you want to do is a very responsible thing to be thinking of doing. I would hope your mom would be supportive unless there are medical reasons not to do so.

I would suggest you contact a lawyer. If you cannot afford one you can contact a legal aid lawyer. Even if mom has legal guardianship over you it might be possible for the court to appoint a guardian ad Litem to speak on your behalf which would allow the court to authorize the procedure over your mother's objection.

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So tonight I dyed my naturally blonde hair black for the first time. Ever since high school (I'm now 21) I've been wanting to dye it black because I have a light "porcelain" complexion with pink undertones, light blue eyes, and I'd looked up photos of girls with black hair and the same skin tone so I knew it would look pretty. However, people would tell me not to because they all said that people who aren't born with black hair and dye it that color always look terrible.

Anyways, This last weekend I had a mishap with my hair at a salon. I had asked the lady for light red low-lights in my then light blonde hair and for some reason the lady filled in all of my roots this nasty rusty red (she had me turned away from the mirror so I couldn't see what she was doing) and then did some very patchy looking low-lights. I was horrified of course and talked to her manager to have it fixed. Well it turned out they couldn't as the red just wouldn't lift even with bleach and a clarifying treatment. Turns out the lady was a fresh graduate out of hair school and didn't know what she was doing.

I left and let my hair relax for a few days and then dyed it all auburn red (which I had done years before and liked). Unfortunately because of the damage the lady did to my hair it was very porous in some places (from the bleach) and sucked in all the color, which resulted in very dark red hair on the top and crayon red hair on the bottom. It didn't look terrible actually, it looked like an ombre and I got a lot of compliments about it, but also a lot of weird looks and obvious "what did you do that for?" statements.

I have two formal events coming up as well as an internship search and I want my hair to look professional. At first I was scared because I didn't want to go to yet another salon to fix it and I didn't know how I could possibly fix it myself and then it clicked in my head to just dye it black.

Now the deed's been done and I'm afraid people are going to freak. It DOES look really pretty on me like I suspected because I have the right skin tone for it and know how to do my makeup to compliment it, but I know just the action of it is going to make people think I'm going through some kind of phase (especially because it's gone from blonde, to blonde with nasty red mixed in, to red, to black in a week).

I also feel a little sad because although I like it, I know there's no going back now. It'll be a very long time before I can go back to a lighter color especially blonde.

How can I make myself and others feel better about it? I don't want people to think I'm just some crazy young adult trying to be edgy. :(

To be brutally honest as I tell everyone with this type of question. The only person you need to please is yourself. If you feel you need to justify what you have done with your hair, which you truly do not need to do. You have a very valid and compelling story to tell just as you have told us.

A stylist ruined your natural hair color when you asked for highlights. They have seen the fix they did to try and correct the mistake While you liked it you do not feel you could present a professional appearance with your hair that way and you have dyed it the only color that would cover up both the damage and the fix they dried.

The fact that it is a true story you will be able to tell it consistently to anyone who may ask. When and if these people compare notes they will see the consistency and believe you.

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My penis is cross when it is expanded. Will I have any problem in future while having sex?

What do you mean by Cross? Is it a typo and did you mean gross. In any case I doubt you will have any problems with sex as you get older. Remember what comes out of a woman's vagina. The vagina will expand to accommodate a penis you must be careful and patient when having intercourse and take your time entering a woman's vagina.

As far as looks are concerned most women could care less what your penis looks like just as long as you and it are capable of giving them pleasure. It is the same as men and a woman's vagina. Most men could care less what a vagina looks like just as long as the woman allows them to put their penis in it.

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okay there is this boy at my school and i really like him but if i ask him out i am scared that he will say NO! help me !

rainhorse68 has the right idea. Also you cannot allow yourself to be paralyzed by fear. The longer you allow fear to control you it will eventually hold you back from obtaining any goals you may set for yourself.

Fear is designed to protect us from getting hurt both physically and emotionally. when fear grabs hold think about what is scaring you. If you can't be physically hurt by what is causing you to be afraid then say to yourself; "Nothing ventured nothing gained," and move forward with whatever it is you want or need to do.

Most of the time it is rejection that we fear. No one likes to be rejected. In almost every instance when you get a rejection it is not you they are rejecting but the idea or concept you are proposing.

This includes the boy you like. I don't know how well you know him. I don't know your ages either. There may be many reasons he would say no to a date none of which have anything to do with you. He could be involved, if you are young teens he may not be allowed to date or he could have other plans for when you wish to date.

It would be nice if he said, "Gee it's nice of you to ask and I would love to if I didn't have other plans or I'm involved with someone. Here again it depends on his level of maturity as to how he will respond.

If he does reject you do not take it personally unless he says so. Just scratch him off the list and move on to the next guy. As my mother would tell you there are plenty of fish in the sea. Bait your hock and keep fishing.

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I am BEYOND ugly. Every time I look in mirror, I see this hideous monster looking back at me. Please don't try to tell me that I'm not ugly or ugly doesn't exist, because that's genuinely not what I'm looking for. I'm truthfully NOT fishing for someone to tell me I'm not ugly "even though they can't see me."

Instead, I'm searching for detailed answers telling me how I can be SUPER confident IN being ugly and seeing my ugliness as uniquely beautiful? :)

Thank you.

Okay I won't tell you that you are beautiful though you can be or at least pretty.

First beauty has two parts. A person can be outwardly gorgeous and be the ugliest person you've ever met. Why, because they either have no personality or a very ugly one. You see outward features and personality go hand in hand.

For the record I have never met a truly ugly person. I have had a friend, a woman, that one could call homely if you didn't know her. If you knew her she was a very warm and beautiful person. As for outer beauty she did her best to work with what she had and when she, her husband me and my wife would go out for the evening she was much less homely looking. I know from experience when my wife dresses to kill, which is for me that it takes time and is something she can't do on a daily basis. Neither can my friend.

Let's start with outer beauty. As I said you work with what you have. You don't say if your a guy or a gal. Which ever you start with hair. Get a hairstyle that complements. If your a gal find a cosmetologist to help you with makeup to complement your bet features. If your a guy try growing a short beard.

If you can get more comfortable with your outer features your inner self, the real you will come out better. Remember one thing from all of this please. Beauty is truly only skin deep. Who we are resides just below the surface. Generally we do not bring home to meet our parents the dumb blonde or the GO male model also an air head. The person we bring home has personality the matches ours.

If you think your ugly or you feel ugly then that is the personality you will project. In psychological terms it is called poor self-esteem. This is what you need to work on. No one is truly ugly inside. If need be get some professional help from a psychologist to rebuild the self-esteem you one had.

This is my advice I hope it helps.

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Thank you for answering my question earlier. However, I would rather not tell my mother about the problem whatsoever, as she would pry constantly about wether or not I was sexually active. Despite my being a virgin and telling her so, she still wouldn't believe me and I would likely be in trouble. Do you know of any way that I could consult a doctor without my parents' knowing? I don't have any friends or siblings with a license to drive me.

Hi,

I answer on average about 6 questions a day. I've looked back through the questions I've answered and cannot find a question that matches what you wrote above. What I will offer you today is more or less general advice which I may have already offered. Please respond with more information about your problem so I can give you better advice also your current age.

If you are over 14 under a law called HIPPA you can go to any Doctor you chose for anything related to your reproduction system. This includes any of the clinics that are now opening around the country. You are not restricted to your family doctor. All you need is your health insurance card from your parents’ health insurance company.

You might be able to get one by going on to the insurance companies’ web site and down loading a copy. At the very least you can request one from them over the web. Any child in their teenage years should have an insurance card in their wallets fro as children get older they travel further from parents and may need medical attention.

Where I live there are several walk-in clinics with-in walking distance of our Shopping Mall. Check and see if there may be one of these clinics close to a shopping mall near you. IF so see if mom will bring you and a friend there to spend a Saturday.

As I said I don't remember you problem, if it cannot wait until next Saturday you can also call 911. Paramedics will be sent to you. Once again if you are over 14 and the problem is one concerning your reproductive system the paramedics will transport you to the local hospital even over moms objection should she be there. All you need to say is "I invoke my rights under HIPPA.

I hope this is helpful if not please write back with more information on your problem.

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