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I crave sex now more than ever
A few months ago I started meeting up with someone and we decided to have sex (I should probably state that I'm female). It was my first time ever having sex and ever since I've been feeling so desperate to keep having sex. Almost every single time we've seen each other we've had sex. Although I was originally hoping for a steady and serious relationship I can't seem to control my urges. We haven't tried anything different and we can only meet up once every few weeks. I feel like I'm so deprived of sex most of the time. I don't know what this means for me and what I should do.
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Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
You found an activity you really enjoy, GREAT. Have fun but be safe.
If you want a committed relationship or if you just want a friends with benefits let the guy know. Be honest about what you want out of the relationship.
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It means that you want more sex. So you should have more sex, Duh!
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There is an special energy released anytime you experience anything new whether that toy you wished for at Christmas as a kid, a new relationship, sex for the first time.... For your sake I'll call it New relationship energy, NRE.
The thing about it is that it heightens the feelings you have about something new like that toy at Christmas you just had to have. Once you got it you were so happy and had such fun for the first couple weeks or months, but eventually at some point, the specialness wore off and the toy wasn't seen as so special anymore. We all can relate. It happens to everyone.
With the sex, it could very well be that you are experiencing something of this NRE. And that the extreme needs now will slow down a little to what will be the regular pace and feelings. Its still very good, just lacking that high peak of continued excitement like adrenaline that never stops.
That's one theory. Another is that you may have a high libido. The libido I feel is what regulates how often a person wants sex. Some guys may want it several times a day and others are happy with once a week. Its more rare to find woman with extremely high libidos but its possible as I have that too. Now if he is happier with less often than you, there's a mismatch there. It can not be fixed. He would feel put upon to give more than he wants to take time for or you become resentful eventually when you are not getting the amount you need.
I understand this is a new relationship of sorts. And I also understand wanting a steady serious relationship but that means there has to be love on both sides, not just what you feel for a guy but what he feels for you. So while I feel its good that you discover exactly what you want and like in a lover and you need to have sex with enough different lovers to figure out which you like best, theres a caution to you as a female having sex in a non serious relationship, or call it friends with benefits, or booty call partner.
Here it is: Women regard sex as both an accompaniment to a strong relationship and a method of securing that relationship in the first place. For men, its a physical act that can lead to an emotional bond but they often seek sex just for the sake of sex. For women, the emotional bond is tied into the physical act so they have difficulty seeing the two separately and thus have the hard time with still feeling love for a guy who mistreats them or broke up with them.
I learned that bit from a book on relationships I picked up at the library.
I say the same thing for the dating process, that meeting just one person, tho some fall in love at once site with their first person and marry, it's the exception but not the rule so its pretty uncommon. Most of us do best sampling more than one icecream. If all you had was vanilla, how would you know what your favorite flavor of 31 flavors of icecream was yours? Same for relationships. Date around and of course try out sex with others and get a feel for the persons character and personality besides the sex. It takes two things for a solid foundation to build a relationship on, one is mutually satisfying sex and the other is being each other's best friend. Think of a girlfriend for that. YOu can agree to disagree and won't get angry or take things personally, you know each other so well you can just look at their face to know how they are feeling, both of you are always thinking of ways to please each other and show love through your actions. Find a guy who can be your best friend and also the best lover for you and you'll be happy. I don't know if you're the type to wait around for a guy to notice you or if you approach men and try to start a friendship. If you wait around, you may not ever find what you want if the guy is young or never really grew up and all he is looking for is a willing sex partner. There is no commitment in that. Nothing wrong with it. Even I had a sex partner for a short amount of time in late forties, while I was still waiting to find the man I would marry. But I don't see this as the long term best for most women as they will get those loving feelings eventually cropping up which happens for women when having sex. But those feelings alone shouldn't be trusted as a best way to make a decision on a life time partner or long term one. You may want to decide what you're also looking for in a man besides sex and when you think you see it, ask a guy if he's single. If he is, then ask him out. Many really great guys are either shy or of the mind set that they need to leave it up to the female to make the first move so they are not disgusted by another guy hitting up on them. My second husband has a high libido like me and I could tell he was very enamored by me. He just was leaving first kiss and sex up to me to make the first move but not saying that until after I had made the first move. If you have any other specific question that I haven't hit upon, just let me know dear and I will share to the best of my ability from my life experiences.
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Sex is that decadent treat when once tried we can't seem to get enough of but is not always around when we crave it. It would be a lot easier to answer this question if I knew your age.
From what you have written and the fact that this was your first sexual experience should I assume you are hopefully in your late teens or older. I am not going to give you the lecture on waiting until you are married but I will lecture you on safe sex.
There are alternatives to intercourse to reduce the sexual anxiety you are feeling and I will talk about them in a minute. First intercourse and pregnancy. If you are under 18 your boyfriend is not the one who has to tell his parents he's pregnant; you are. Regardless of what he says about using condoms you must insist he use a condom as it offers the best protection other than the pill against pregnancy. Worn correctly it is 85% effective in preventing pregnancy and it provides protection against many STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus. He may make all types of excuses for not wearing one, fact is if he does not you tell him no sex. As long as one of you is over 14 one of you can purchase the condoms.
Masturbation is the best way to relieve sexual anxiety. Contrary to what you may have been told masturbation is not dirty. Your parents when making love during foreplay participate in mutual masturbation. Dad fingers mom and mom jerks off dad.
There is no reason in the privacy of your bedroom or your bath that you cannot relieve yourself. It is not a sin to masturbate and most religions while not condoning it they do not condemn it either. The reason for telling you not to masturbate is it feels good. In fact it feels so good that parents fear you will want the real thing. Instead they should be telling you to masturbate as an alternative.
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