I'm closing my account after being on this site for longer than I can remember right now.
I would like to say thank you to all the columnists that I've met through this site, may your hearts of gold continue to shine through this site.
My reason is simple: I no longer feel I have a use for it anymore. I once was a person who couldn't help other people because of certain difficult situations in my past, but all that has now changed. This site allowed me to be who I really was and for that I'm so grateful for that. It played a very important role in my life and I'll never forget it!
The questions which I answered allowed me to reflect on my life and where it was going, and gave me the opportunity to really appreciate the life that I have, which I'm now living with open arms.
I wish you well for the future,
Triquetra....signing off for the last time.
Member Since: November 24, 2007
Answers: 577
Last Update: December 1, 2010
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my boyfriend lives in another state then I, his friends and family because of college. he is turning 21 soon and I want to go ALL OUT for him! I want it to be very memorable!!! I'm thinking of myspacing or calling his CLOSE friends and asking them to come down on that day. I also want to have a party for him. the best party anyone can throw. his apartment (shared with 3 roommates) is where it would be. I don't want him knowing that I am throwing him a HUGE party either! Please Please help!!! Thank you soooo much! (link)
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That's a really good idea.
Get in touch with his roommates and see whether they can help you set up the party but ensure that the conversations are kept at low key and when he's not around otherwise he may get wind of it.
IMPORTANT: you need to ensure that all his close friends will be a available for that day and it's best to do that soon so that they don't get booked up with something else. It would be even more special if all his friends could be there.
For a good surprise birthday, it's best to have one of his friends distract him enough which will last for a day (going out somewhere for a drink or something of that nature) whilst you and the other two friends and possibly some other friends can set up the decorations whilst he is away. Get his favorite music mixed in with a few others so that can be good dance music.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
PS Good luck with the birthday party!
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What is the most painless way to commit suicide?....The only thought that provides any degree of solace to me is death. I do not want to live anymore, there is no other way to end the pain. I tried paracetamol in my 20`s (am in 30`s now) and they just pumped my stomach. I fell in love with a married woman (yes I know there was no future) but I just don`t wanna live as the memories are killing me. The memories and love wont go away, despite the fact that she cheated on me. So anyway I have high BP and am being monitored for my heart rate regularly by my Dcotor. I have not taken my prescrption for some time and thank goodness my BP level has risen again but this is not working. I have taken to smoking a shisha pipe as well, so my health is pretty bad right now but it`s taking too long. The thought of death is the only comfort available to me, dpoes anyone understand this? Please just recommend an easy an painless way to die as I am a complete an utter coward, have no career prospects and have no ambition. I am not mentally ill but just want to die. I pray to God every night to take me but thts not working either, so anyone got any advice on the most painless way to commit to kill myself? (link)
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I know heartache, I've been there and still suffering from it now and I still have the memories of what I felt, what I'd imagined if we'd been together and I'm still sad by it all. There would be/are times when I thought I wouldn't be able to continue on with my life without that person just being there for me.
But even though that was/is a tough period in my life, I never gave up and do you know why? Because I took comfort in the fact that that person was happy with who they were with and that they'd have a happy life and even though I wouldn't be there every single step of the way, I'd try and make sure that I made the best possible time which we've got.
I may be young(ish) and I've seen a lot on this site and I've come to learn that yes, the going does get tough, but if you do nothing to try and get back onto your own two feet again, then the going will get even tougher and it's harder to pull yourself through.
Personally, I never bring religion into these kinds of situations since I'm not religious, but let me tell you that if you've prayed to God every night and you're still here, writing what you wrote to us, I think that's a big message saying that he ain't gonna take you, no matter how many times you pray, scream about it, talk about it etc., it's not your time at all.
Look at the responses that you've gotten. We're complete strangers to you, but we all care about one thing: your life. And if you give up on your life, then you would've let down the people who care for that life.
You try and take the easy way out of your situation and may I add, it's the cowardly way. Yes, you're a coward because you can't be a man and live up to the problems in your life. Instead of running from them, face them and see them through.
triquetra
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I am being completely and utterly serious.
I am researching demons, specifically names, behavior, appearance, etc for a story that I am doing. I am religious (Roman Catholic) and my mother has taught me that "playing" with the supernatural/demons, devil, etc may be "inviting" them into your lives. (Being possessed, or haunted) I do not want this to happen to me. I do not wish to mess with them, I just want to do research. I would prefer for the advice given to be done by somebody who is religious (some form of Christianity is preferred, but as long as you believe in good and evil, etc) I am being serious. Also, is just WRITING about them dangerous? Thank you so much.
-WiseRose (link)
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No, researching, writing about demons/devils/spirits etc. certainly doesn't mean that you're inviting them anywhere or puts you in any harm.
What you mum meant was practicing using the "Dark Arts" in a way in which you called upon them (magic for instance), that what she meant by 'playing' with them.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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I already loaded the songs on to my ipod, and now i want to add artwork to the songs..but if I put the artwork on them now, and add them to my ipod, i'll have every song on my ipod...twice. I dont want that..how do I take the other ones off without the artwork, or is there a way to replace the song without the artwork WITH the song WITH artowork without copying twice.?
Any help please and thanks! =] (link)
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That shouldn't happen really.
What I did was to just add the artwork to the songs, and then synched the ipod again and it was updated without putting songs on twice and the artwork was placed there.
But if it does happen, the easiest thing to do is to delete all the songs on the ipod and just reload them again with the artwork.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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What do you think is the most important? Compatibility? Understanding? Love? Destiny? Something else? (link)
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Honesty
Friendship
Trust
Commitment
Selflessness
Love
Support
Those are on my top list on what's important in a marriage.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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ok well me and my boyfriend just broke up, we went out for about 5 months.
but anyway, i am still not over him.
and what helps me the most to get over a guys is to listen to music and get my emotions out with the words of the song.
so i was wondering if anyone has any good sad\love songs for me to listen to.
i am into about any kind of music,
so plz give me some ideas!!!!
thanks! (link)
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We Belong Together - Mariah Carey
Can't Let Go - Mariah Carey
Don't Forget About Us - Mariah Carey
Without You - Mariah Carey
I Don't Wanna Cry - Mariah Carey
Circles - Mariah Carey
triquetra
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Okay so I just got a new computer
Its windows vista
From the Circut City closest to my housee
Anyway, this computer was the display one, so it had thise stupid popup that comes up if you dont move the mouse for like 3 minutes
It says something about 'Check out firefox" and something about computers
It pisses me off
How can I remove that?
Step by step details please? (link)
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Click on 'Start'
Type in 'Internet Options'
Click on the 'Privacy' Tab
Check the box which says 'Turn on Pop-Up Blocker' (or something like that).
Click 'Apply'
To set the security level of blocking the pop-ups, go back to the 'Privacy' Tab, click on the 'Settings' Button and go to the 'Filter Level' and set the level which you want. Personally, I use the Medium level.
Hope this works,
triquetra
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My cat just had kittens and I want to keep them as healthy as possible. Sometimes I give them water from my sink, sometimes I give them filtered water, and sometimes I give them water from the hose. Which is cleanest/which would they like best? And what should I use to wash the bowl? (link)
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Before giving them anything, go to a vet and have them checked over and see if they're okay if you haven't done so and see whether you should be giving them water yet and see what the vet says and get his advice.
Personally, I wouldn't be giving them water yet but when they're old to have it, then I would've thought that any kind of water would be good except hose water. As for the bowl, just ensure that it's properly cleaned out and dried. I would've thought that ordinary washing liquid would've done the trick.
Here's a site which can give you tips:
http://maxshouse.com/kitten_care.htm
I hope this helped and congrats to your cat!
triquetra
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ok so my boyfriend is like 5'7 he weighs like 220 pounds.. he doesnt have a gut or anything but hes thick.. hes a football player and he works out all the time.. is 220 bad for his height with all those in consideration!? (link)
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Reading around, 220 pounds can be classified as overweight, but not obese. Normal should be around the 100's give or take.
When you say 'thick', what do you mean by that?
Go to this site and you'll find a whole host of sites which will tell you exactly what you want to know:
http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=Normal+weight+for+a+5%277+man&btnG=Search&meta=
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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I would like to start off by saying that I only want responces from breeders, animal rescuers and people of like nature.
This is what happened. I have had my love bird for just over a month. In that time she has become a very loved and close part of the family (I and my husband). Recently, there was a dog that came to our home. Our Upstairs neighbor said that it was a very friendly and gentil dog that belonged to a lady up the road, that is a little off maybe, and she would not put in the affection that the dog required. So the dog would go to neighbors and stay at different ones houses for periods of time. Well I LOVE ANIMALS. So first we would hang out for the evening and then once I realized she was gentil and quiet, after consulting my neighbor, I took the time to let her sleep in the house, because we live in idaho and it is the middle of winter right now and it is amazing the dog hasn't been frost bitten. I proceeded to get her some dog food etc. I was keeping my lovebird Arina in the cage while the dog was around so that it could grow to know her. I did not do this out of complete ignorance, because I did a lot of research in the past before I got the bird and everyone that I spoke with, in person and online that had multiple types of animals, said that they live together in harmony and there is no problem. I even saw videos on YouTube of birds sitting on cat's and playing with dogs. This was not an aggressive dog. The only thing of concern that happened was that I saw the dog catch a mouse and eat it. Now I understood this behavior, because the dog is out there during the day fending for it's self. The reason why I let it slide is because I read that many people's animals keep their animal instinct, but do not exhibit that behavior towards the family animals. No matter how small. Anyway, I decided to take the bird and put it on my shoulder to visit our neighbor because it was squawking very loud and my husband was sleeping before work. I took her out and everything was fine, the dog and my neighbor's dog were both calm, and as I was about to take her back in the house, she flew off of my shoulder, and in a split second, the stranger dog lunged at her and grabbed her in it's mouth and i surley think it would have eaten her if it hadn't been for both of us ladies yelling and lunging at it to stop. Natuurally we kicked the dog out, and now I feel aweful, because he is sleeping outside. :( I know it wasn't deliberate, he was just doing what was natural to him. But here is the issue I have. I always saw my self as someone having many animals in the future, all different sorts living together in the same home. I see these people that rais Wild Animals like tigers and such that have birds and cats and children and they all play out in the open together in the living room, all coming into contact with each other at different stages in their lives. Where did I go wrong? What are these people doing that I did not do? What does one have to do to have these different types of animals living together. What is it that keeps the peace? Are there certain breeds that are more prone to get along with different animals. My husband had a cat, and that cat started living with him and his parents who have a dog...they chase each other sometimes, but they can be left alone together in the house and they do not kill each other. That dog did not grow up with cats or anything. What steps should I take now when deciding on getting multiple pets in the future? I don't want to have to keep them all in cages and in seperate rooms. What can I do? Thank you for your advice. (link)
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First of all, I think that you shown train the dog as what to do and not to do ( if it's still young that is) because then it will know the boundaries which it shouldn't cross, in this instance, not to attack your bird. But know that it's living outside, I'm sure it might've gotten the point that it had done something wrong so the likely hood of it happening again may be minimal. But just reinforce it every now and then so it knows.
But about the multiple pet thing. Personally, I wouldn't go for it unless you're really committed and know that it will be a lot of work to care for however many pets you're thinking of having and it will be expensive as well (with food, accessories etc.). And plenty of space for them. But if you do go for it, I suggest that you introduce new animals with a year or two between them, why? Because it will allow the other pets get to know the new comer and accept it into the 'pack' and if it doesn't work out then you can do something about it quickly.
It's best separate the new comer from the others at first so that he/she can smell and see the others at first so that they can get used to them and its new surroundings so you don't get a scared animal getting harassed by other animals and it doesn't know where to go.
With dogs, it's best to stay with them for a quite a bit of time because in the wild, dogs go around in packs so with you spending time with the new dog, you're accepting it into the pack or becoming its pack and it will follow you around because it's accepted you as its leader and will learn the rules from you.
The thing about the YouTube videos is that those animals have gotten to know each other and learnt the boundaries over years, so of course they will get along by the time those videos are made. It will take time to get to that level. Plus, you still need a huge amount of commitment and patience, which is probably what those owners had/have.
You did nothing wrong. It was just a simple case of the dog doing what it would do naturally as you pointed out so there will be slip ups here and there.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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Hi everyone
Long story short
I am a 25 female
My mother left us when we was around 13 years old,so i had to take care about my 2 other sister and i practacly raised myself,still managed to get a degree and i have my own home ...''a normal life'',it is so hard for me to get a man since i cant trust no one ,it has to do much with my past ...about more than a year ago i felt in love with this guy and he lives in Africa and he is the best that could have happen to me ever and i hope and dream again .Finally we decided to meet in july and my sisters dont really aprove this cause they are scared that something may happen to me when i go over there to visit him ...this thorne my heart appart,They even made me doubt this guy even though he never did anything to make me doubt him ....He is an accountant and ahve his own home and dont want to leave his country to come live in Europe so it's not a pasport thing ,I am just going there to visit and meet him and come back and see what happens .Can you pls help me ....I dont eat ,sleep ..i am really confuse and i am running out of answers ....Is teh frist time i feel like i fanaly can go and do something for my own happiness .For the first time its about me and not about my sisters
My sisters are my only reason to live and my only family
what should i do ?....should i try to forget this guy eventhough he is my reason to live or just go ahead and do what my heart tells me to do ?..and if i go over there what precausions should i take in case something goes wrong?
I really dont knwo what to do ... (link)
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If you don't go and meet with this guy, then you'll end up spending the rest of your life wondering as to what your life could like if you had met him. At least if you go and it doesn't work out, at least you know but if you didn't, then you'll never find out if it would've worked out.
For most of your life, you've been selfless, putting your sisters before you in helping raise them so on and so forth. Now, I think you're old enough to be selfish and do something which you want to do.
Of course your sisters will worry, next to being there for you it's the next best thing anybody in any family can do and it shows that they really care for you and don't want to see you get hurt. But sometimes, you just need to go on ahead and see what happens. Like I said before, you won't know what will happen, unless you go on ahead and do it.
Could you live with yourself, knowing that you'd found 'the one' and you'd let him go for your sisters? I admire that think about them, but now it's your time to be yourself and I'm sure that your sisters are old enough now to look after themselves.
As for precautions, it all depends as to which part of Africa he's from. You get the good parts and the bad. Go to your doctor and see if there is any medication/vaccinations which you'll need when you're in the country etc.
Cliff notes version: go and meet him and see how that turns out because if you don't, you won't ever know how it would turn out.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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i'm looking for the BEST love songs of them all. i have no idea what to do for my boyfriend for valentines day but i have an idea but i need to know the PERFECT love song.
help!!! (link)
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Love Story - Mariah Carey would be my personal choice
Others:
We Belong Together - Mariah Carey
Without You - Mariah Carey
Thank God I Found You - Mariah Carey
Always Be My Baby - Mariah Carey
After Tonight - Mariah Carey
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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ok everyone i want your view on something...
lets say hypothetically that a guy and a girl like each otherthey have all the aspects of a relationship without the titlenow lets also say hypothetically that the girl decides she wants to kiss someone else without repercussionsBUT the boy cant do the same because the girl says he cant(there will be repercussions)what are your views on that?is it fair? not fair (link)
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It all depends upon how the couple views those actions. Personally, I think that the girl shouldn't be kissing sombeody else if she's with somebody already because that breaks down the trust between the couple and ultimately destorys it, which is a shame because of one act. If she kisses somebody else, then it means that she's not that interested in her current relationship or isn't taking it seriously.
The same goes for the boyfriend as well, if he cheats, then the realtionship will end up the same way.
There will always be repercussions for the girl and boy, no matter what.
So it isn't fair on either side, no matter how you look at it.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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i asked this question before but i have a little more detail there's this guy i liked since last year May, he was in my english class. He seemed like he liked me, he was always staring at me and sometimes looking away when i caught him.i told him on msn that i liked him and he didn't believe me then he said he had a g.f but even after that he would still stare at me and stared to act fidgety when i passed him. he even talked to me on msn after that. i asked some ppl that know him if he had a g.f but they said they highly doubt that he has one...okay i'm not being racist or anything but he's indian and i'm black, so i was wondering if that was the reason why he said he had a g/f because i heard they can't date out of their race or religion or he just didn't take me seriously? maybe panicked? what do you guys think? i'm starting to think that maybe i should just get over him even tho it's gonna be hard:( (link)
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Well, he's showing all the sings of liking you, but I think that he's just scared to admit it. It's a big thing, telling somebody that you love them eve though you know that that person loves you back. Unless of course there is something which he knows which you don't know and he doesn't want you to know.
I don't think that colour, religion or race should be any part of relationships unless it's important to the couple. If you like the person and they love you back, then there should be no reason as to why you shouldn't go out together.
Don't give up on him, give him some time and just be kind around him and see what happens. There's no lost cause until all options have been exhausted.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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This boy that i like ive been liking him for while now and he knows i like him. You see i have this class with him and usually he be talkin to me or be messing around. But now all of a sudden he dont even talk to me or nothing. Like at first i thought maybe something between us was really happening but now its like nothin. what do this mean. (link)
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It may mean that there's something going on in his life which he's dealing with at the moment and that's distracted him from you.
I think that the only way to find out is to talk to him and see whether there is anything wrong and let him know that you're there to just somebody to talk to should he need it.
Sorry I couldn't be more help,
triquetra
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I'm 17 and a regular bloke who likes surfing, movies, footy and drinking. I wouldnt say i have a homosexual trait in me at all. I have never really been called gay before apart from the odd payout, but a couple of weeks ago l was with a few mates and we were having some bongs in my mates shed.. I had about 8 bongs and after that can't remember a thing. I must of blacked out.
From that night onwards everyone has been calling me gay because i must of said something gay or whatever. They've been acting different around me now like i am actually gay. They have been telling everyone else what had happend but not telling me anything. I have asked my mates what happend but they keep denying l did anything.
How do l find out what happend and make them stop thinking im gay?
Cheers (link)
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I can safely say that I'm going through that right now. Except in my case, it was an invasion of privacy and a complete misunderstanding and now, I've got to do the damage control which sucks.
There really isn't any way for people to stop thinking that you're gay. Just be yourself and people should begin to see that your not different at all. And don't treat your friends differently (not saying that you are, but just in case).
I think it is really important that they should tell you what happened because if they're spreading rumors which aren't true then that's quite serious and I'm still trying to get all the facts which I know are still floating around. Ask them and if they try and beat about the bush, then ask them again and keep on pestering them until one or all tell you what happened. Or ask the people whom have been told what allegedly happened and see if the stories match up with other people. If they don't, then it could be a lie. But if they do, ask your friends again and tell them what you've found out and take it from there as to what you want to do.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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I am sad. I don't know if it's just stupid hormones, and I'm not depressed. It just seems like my Mom yells at me a lot. It makes me really sad. It makes me seem like the only place where I'm happy is alone at home, which is rarely, or at school. It feels like nobody understands me. Sometimes it feels like nobody likes me at school either. I have some friends, but I say one thing by mistake and everyone hates me. I feel like I'm left out, like I'm in a world I hate. I keep telling lies and plastering a fake smile on my face. But I'm sick of it. I need help. Welcome to my Life by Simple Plan is my stinkin THEME SONG. It;s true. Welcome to my life. (link)
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I suggest that you go and talk to your school counsellor. Trust me, I went when I was down and he really did help me and do you know what he did to help? Nothing. He just let me talk everything which was on my mind and helped me to understand as to why I was feeling the way which I was and I felt like as if somebody did care as to what I was going through when I thought that nobody would listen, and best of all, they're free and confidential. After those sessions, I really felt confident because he supported me in the things which I did and helped me through in his own special way.
I would make up lies just to get through a tough period and pretending that I was ok and I even had a theme song to my own life, and it was called 'Can't Take That Away' by Mariah Carey and it really did help me not to let anybody say things which could get to me because at the end of the day, what depends upon your happiness is yourself and how you let others get to you.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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Does anyone know a song about a girl who really likes a boy and he likes her too but neither of them will say anything?
Thanks. (link)
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I Wish You Knew - Mariah Carey
Without You - Mariah Carey
We Belong Together - Mariah Carey
Your Girl - Mariah Carey
triquetra
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Well...I have a best guy friend who likes me and he knows i like him back..Sooo a few days ago he asked me to be his girlfriend and i said ill think about it. So he says he'll give me time..And i dont just like this boy i love him like crazy...So yea he is reallynice, funny, and extremely cute...Also im not allowed to have a boyfriend. So what should I do? (link)
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Personally, I think that you should wait a while before having a boyfriend. Why? Because which scenario is worse:
1) You having a boyfriend and your parents finding out and when they said you can't have one and therefore they may impose restrictions upon you.
or
2) Wait a little while until you feel ready to have a boyfriend and your parents allow you to have one.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't have one right now, just wait for a bit. I'm certain that your friend will understand and your friendship shouldn't be affected.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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Hello. My name is Bobby, I`m 32 and from London. I no longer want to live. I am not in an irrational state of mind and niether do I suffer from a debilitating mental illness. I obviously have issues but I have a fire in my heart and I strongly believe death is the only solution for me in order to exorcise this pain. Yes I am sad and lonely and have no friends and have debts and have little money and no prospects but I do not want anything anymore. Death has become a beautiful dream for me and all I want from the almighty is death. If people in physical pain are sometimes allowed to die (euthanasia) then why can someone in extreme emotional pain not be allowed to do the same. My pain is too great and too deep to be simply diagnosed and treated via therapy or drugs or a combination of the 2. My pain has paralysed me emotionally and has left me a pathetic and useless wreck. I must have the same rights to die as someone in physical pain. I don`t want attention and niether do I want to be celebrated (I`m a nobody after all) so this is not a plea for help or some pathetic attention seeking rant. I genuinely want to die. If society can accept the self-death of someone in physical pain then why can it not accept the death of someone in emotional pain. Who`s to say my pain is not equal or greater than that someone? (link)
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Bobby,
Every single person in this world goes through a hard time, some go through hell. Some people either give up and take their own lives, but some keep on fighting to see the next day and do you know why? Because they know that after every bad thing which happens to them, that if they do something about it, then their lives tend to get better afterwards whilst those who don't do a thing about their situation tend to get into even more trouble and never can find a way out.
From my point of view, I think that suicide should only be an option when all other options have been tried and tested for a fair amount of time before looking at another option. Now, I'm sure you've looked at options to find a way out of your situation. Plus, the people who use suicide are the ones who've been running from problems their whole lives, never facing them.
Of course people commit suicide because of their physical/emotional pain and it doesn't make it right, no matter how you look at it.
Bobby, I may be 16 years old, but I've seen enough on this site to know that life is never perfect. I mean, you're 32, you've still got a life ahead of you to live. How can a man/woman (you didn't specify) of your age have no friends??? The pain has only paralysed you because you've let it paralyse you. Now, if you tried to get rid of the pain (OTHER THAN SUICIDE) and try and do something about it then you're on the road to helping yourself.
For starters, go and find yourself a job. Something which is stable and something which you like doing and something which will bring the money in. You're not a nobody, somebody who is a nobody is somebody who has no self-respect and the fact that you're on this site is a clear statement to me that you do have your self-respect clear and intact.
I'm sure that you've had some hard times in your life, what did you do then? Did you run away or did you bring yourself through to the other side? This is the same, only a little more extreme. I know that you can get through this hiccup in your life because you aren't on that cliff edge yet where you're aksing how to do it (and trust me, people have come here on this site to ask that very question and their the ones who don't listen).
If I remember correctly, Euthanasia can only be used if there is no chance fo the person in question surviving an experiance which has left them diasbled beyond hope.
I know that these are just words form somebody whom you don't know. But soemthing which I read on this site which was quite true was the fact that if you get a number of answers, then it shows that we do care about you, even if others don't and we're complete strangers! Take that into consideration.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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