I work as a Customer Laison Complaints Case Officer at a major insurance company, where I have worked for 3 years. I left school when I was 17, as I had some very bad experiences at school and wanted to see what the real world had to offer.
I now live with my boyfriend of 3 years and spend my spare time reading, writing, socialising with friends or just watching some TV.
Times are still hard and I'm trying to cope with various health problems on a daily basis but I'm working my way through things and really want to stop it from getting me down.
I dream of some day going to America and watching a real baseball game (we don't have that at all in the UK) and perhaps finding a job I find creatively fulfilling. Until then, I'm happy trying to be me and making the best of what I have.
Website: My Space
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset, UK
Occupation: Customer Liaison Case Officer
Age: 21
MSN: hottchickie@hotmail.com
Member Since: January 28, 2006
Answers: 1016
Last Update: March 5, 2009
Visitors: 64959
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okay i can help people with there problems but i cant solve my own....i am 16 years old female and i have an 18 year old boyfriend...the other day he broke up with me and said i was talking to guys on the internet...then a few hours later after i said i wasnt he comes back to my house and says okay i believe you...should i take him back or what???
signed
confusedmyself (link)
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In my experience, guys who display jealous/possessive behaviour such as this, where they act on suspicion rather than fact, are always best avoided. The main issue is, he's done it once with no evidence to support his theory and how many times will he do it again and what will his jealousy lead him to do? You have to think long term with guys like this and try to work out what their behaviour might be say, six months down the line. Will he get enraged because you talk to a guy who is just a friend of yours?
I can't tell you what to do but I would like to suggest that if you can imagine he is the sort of person who would fly into jealous rages some time down the line for no reason at all, you need to think seriously about whether or not you want to be having to handle that.
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I have a problem because I really want to be in all the theater things and plays my school and town has to offer, but i'm only a good actress, not singer. I am a HORRIBLE singer. THis is so anniong because literally ALL of the productions in my town are musicals!! When I audition I have to embarass myself by singing, and I don't get a part/get a horrible part. Is there any way to solve this problem. Oh yeah and please don't tell me to take singing lessons cause there is no hope for my voice! (link)
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What might help is practising singing more often. For example, a lot of the time, I can hit the right notes when I need to, but my voice is too weak to get there (I have quite a husky voice for a girl and hate it!!). The only way to overcome this is by singing. The muscles you need to get to certain notes might be weak and you need to make them stronger, so practise hitting the notes more often. Warm up first by singing songs in a lower key and then work your way up. If you can do this a few times a day, you might begin to see an improvement after a while.
If you're problem is that you are tone deaf or just can't seem to hit the right key, although you might think you are a lost cause, the working Singing Coaches can do is incredible. Unless you're naturally gifted with a good voice, you're unlikely to come out sounding like Beyonce, but it should make a great improvement, so don't knock it til you've tried it. You might give it a go and find out that after 6 months you've made an incredible improvement.
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Hi, I recently asked the question about anorexia and menstruation and bloating and the main response that I got back was not that I was bloated from lack of menstruation but the anorexia itself. So why am I bloated from anorexia? Okay...what makes anorexic people bloated? And what can I do to make it go away, besides eating? Help? (link)
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Anorexia would not have caused the bloating. Bloat is typically caused by trapped gas in the stomach, caused as a result of undigested or partially digested food fermenting in the stomach and/or intestine.
Sadly, something I know all too well. I am not anorexic (although was many years ago and am now recovered) but I do have digestive problems.
The thing you have to remember is that if you don't eat, when you finally do eat something, your stomach will have trouble digesting it because it won't be used to it. The only way to sort this problem in your case is to start eating regularly and healthily. If you do that, you'll feel much better, not just in your stomach but in general.
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What is that show about and what kind of genre is it and who are the characters? I hear everyone talking about it, but I've never actually seen it. (link)
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It's meant to be a drama but it does have funny parts in it. It's very much like a cross between Scrubs and ER, as it is following around Med Students from their first internships at a hospital.
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So for tomorrow, my teacher has given us groups where we are supposed to remember 4 soliliquies/monologs from Romeo and Juliet. My group decided to divde them amongst us, and I was wondering if anyone had any good ideas that would help me remember my part...Thanks. (link)
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Memorising is always a very difficult task. Even celebrities like Julia Roberts have trouble with it (as evidenced by the rather hilarious outtakes!).
The best tip I found was reading it out loud, after reading it through carefully 4 or 5 times. Then, I got someone like my Mum or Dad to help me. I would read through it and whenever I messed up, I got them to correct me. Learning by doing is by far the best method with most things.
If you run through it several times with someone, you'll be word perfect in no time.
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you know those scrubby things that you put in showers and you put soap on them and then rub yur body or whatever? do i have to use that thing with shower gel? or can i just pour the shower gel on my hands and put it on my body and rinse it off? (link)
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The body puffs (as I call them but they can be called different things) are useful when having baths or showers because they help to exfoliate the skin. However, you don't have to use them and when it comes to using shower gel, you can use a sponge, a flannel or just your hands.
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If I have been on birth control for one pack already, along with 2 weeks into the next pack, do you think I'm safe because my bf came in me last night and I'm not positive. Also, I've never missed a day but I've been about 4 hours MOST off from taking it. Like I take it at 9 but took it at 1 but took it at 9 the next time I took it. Do you still think I'm safe?
(link)
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It should have this information on the leaflet that comes with the pills but in most cases, you need to have been using it between 14 to 28 days for it to be considered effective.
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I am a single guy just turned 33, on a visit overseas staying with my elder brother (Mid 40s), his wife (mid 40s)and 4 kids (oldest bening 16 year old girl, youngest being 4 year old boy) I have been staying with them for almost 3 months now, have made a few girlfriends who want to know my house and certainly would want to get physical, but I dont know if it is all right to bring girls to the house and in my room, my room not even having a key, even though i stay alone there and the younger kids have the habit of barging in. Kind of funny problem, right? And by the way, we are black Africans. Whites tend to be more liberal about this kind of things than blacks. Just wanna know what u guys think before I make a decision. Thanks as always, guys (link)
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I guess in my opinion it really depends on the feelings of those you are staying with.
I know it's an awkward situation but I think you need to sit down with your brother and his wife and discuss the situation. Explain to them how great they have been letting you stay with them but that you don't know how to handle the situation where girlfriends are concerned because you don't know if it would be okay for them to come home with you.
If they don't seem to have a problem with it then there is no reason you couldn't have a lock put on your door, to keep out the innocent eyes of their children and allow you some privacy.
If they don't like the idea, at least you know there is nothing you can do about it and you will have to either remain celibate until you have a place of your own or return to the homes of your girlfriends at the end of the evening.
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ok so here's the deal:
i have a crush on my girlfriend's best friend. . .and i'm pretty sure she's likewise, with the way she acts around me.
anyway, i really love my girlfriend, and i don't want our relationship to end. i need some advice on how to get over her.
it's not that i want to date her. it's that i have a crush on her.
she's my friend too if that helps.
thanks (link)
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Generally, crushes are no real danger. However, what you need to do is decide whether this is a crush that could turn into anything serious.
There is no way you can distance yourself from your girlfriend's best friend without making it look like there is a reason for the distance and if you do this, your girlfriend will get suspicious. If, over time, the feelings you have for her best friend get stronger, you will need to reconsider your current relationship.
In most cases, however, crushes go away over time. You can't force them and you can't speed them up. I'm sorry to say that but there's no magic cure for these things. If it is just a crush then it WILL pass.
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ok so i FINALLY got over this guy i liked for FOUR WHOLE YEARS..and i felt soo free and liberated, but then all of sudden his msn-name was the lyrics for OUR song and my mind directly thought "aww he likes me again!" and i started likking him again and now i cant stop thinking about him (even though I KNOW he doesnt like me) so whta do i do? do you suggest i delete him (i realllly dont want to!) (link)
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If you really do like him again then there's only way to resolve this situation and it's not by running away. You need to talk to him about this. Either tell him straight out how you feel about him or ask him about the lyrics, perhaps just reminding him that they're the lyrics to your song.
Whatever you decide to do, if you were finally over him, you wouldn't start liking him again so quickly, so there are clearly some residual feelings and they won't go away until you confront them and see if it can go somewhere so take a deep breath and jump in head first.
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my house is usually pretty cool, which isnt good for my parakeet. he shivers a lot whenever hes out of his cage. i keep the top of his cage covered with a towel to keep him warm, but what else can i do to keep him warm?
thanks (link)
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It might be worth investing in a small fan heater to keep in the same room as the parakeet. Keep a thermometer in there aswell, to make sure it doesn't get too hot. If you're in there the whole time, you won't notice how hot it is. Hang the thermometer from the cage and then you'll have a happy, warm bird!
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I have this weird rash on which started me picking a tiny bubble on my middle finger. Then it got dry and some more tiny bubbles came and spread to my other fingers. I think it's Ezema or Psiasis or whatever they are called. I'm going to the dermatoligist and I need to know something...
Do you have to bring a physical?
Do you take one there? Like height and weight?
Do they draw blood?
I have a pretty sucky insurance it's Kaiser so I'm going there so anyone who has them too and went to the Dermatoligist there please help. (link)
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Oddly enough, I think I may know what you're talking about because I have the same problem. Is it really intensley itchy where the bubbles are? Also, are they really tiny little bubbles filled with a clear fluid? If so, it sounds like the same form of eczema I have recently been diagnosed with. It's not there all the time but I have flare-up's every month or two.
Currently what I used is a steroid cream called Dermovate (prescription only so you will need to see your doctor) in the morning and before bed and then Anthisan Cream throughout the day. So far, that seems to keep it at bay or get rid of it quite quickly.
However, I strongly recommend you see your doctor about this. Other than the obvious fact that it may be a different form of eczema, with anything like this, they need to provide you with the correct treatment and/or refer you to a dermatologist. I've recently been to see one for this eczema also and have been given a list of do's and don'ts for the next four months. For example, I'm not meant to use normal soap but a special liquid soap they've given me that doubles as a moisturiser. I'm not meant to wash my hair with bare hands but instead use non-latex plastic (not rubber) gloves which should be disposable. So on and forth. It's a NIGHTMARE but it helps them work out if it's a contact related eczema or just a randomly occurring kind.
The Dermatologist usually does not do a physical but they will normally take your height and weight, in order to assess your physical health. They don't usually do blood tests, although depending on the type of skin problem you have, they might decide to run tests to make sure it's nothing else.
Hope that helps. I can't help the insurance part of it I'mn afraid, as I'm in the UK and we have the NHS but if you need to know anything else, feel free to ask.
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Well i'm 15/f and me & my boyfriend have been talking about sexual stuff. Well I like him a lot, and i'm willing to do a lot of things, he wants to finger me. And I said i'd think about it.
But I need to know, Does it hurt, what does it feel like, is there anything bad that can come out of this situation, how long does it last.
Please help!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks in advance!
(link)
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You say you're 'willing' to do lots of things. This is very different to wanting to do them. IF you aren't sure you are ready then you need to talk to him about this and let him know how you feel. If he really cares about you, he will wait until you are ready without putting any pressure on you.
Now, as far as this goes, the truth is that nobody could really say because it is all dependant upon technique. It might be that he tries to be a bit rough with you and you find that painful, in which case it might be uncomfortable. On the other hand, he might be too gentle and it won't feel too good at all. The only thing you can do is have him start out being gentle and then work out what feels good for you. You need to have good verbal communication for this to work, as you need to be comfortable telling him what feels good and what doesn't.
As for anything bad that could come out of the situation, as long as his hands are clean when he goes down there, there should be no problems at all. If he is a little rough with you, however, it may make you a little sore but again, this should change with time and growing experience.
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Hi. I want to ask you something.
When you are looking after a convenience store, I walk in and start lookin at porn adult megazines. What would you say to me?
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In most cases, I imagine that nothing at all would be said. As long as you are a paying customer, most stores don't mind what you buy (unless there is an age limit and as far as I am aware, there is no such law in force when it comes to adult magazines).
The most anyone is likely to do is ask whether they can help you at all.
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ive been haveing sex with my boy for about 6 months and i dont think ive ever orgasmed..what could be wrong with me? we have tried different things but it hasnt worked...any suggestions? thanks (link)
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I want to start off here by saying that not being able to achieve orgasm through penetrative sex does NOT mean that you or your partner is 'bad at it' as someone has said.
Actually, only around 33% of the female population are able to achieve orgasm through intercourse alone. This is generally considered to be because the areas from which women experience the greatest sexual arousal are on the outside of the body, rather than the inside. However, some women are able to orgasm through sex alone as they are more sensitive inside. In addition to this, although there are ongoing studies into it, it is believed some women are able to achieve orgasm through penetration by stimulating the g-spot. This is a fairly elusive area inside the body which is about the size of a walnut and fairly rough to touch. Some women find it merely makes them feel like they need to urinate, some feel arousal when it is touched at all and others feel nothing from it. The best thing to do is to see if you and your partner can locate this area and see what your reaction to it is. If it works for you, try alternating your sexual positions to one that will stimulate the g-spot through penetration and you may find it easier to reach orgasm.
If, on the other hand, this does not work, you may need to (how can I put this delicately?!) lend a helping 'hand' during intercourse to stimulate the areas on the outside of the body. This should help you achieve orgasm. Remember to be patient and relax as well. If you work too hard on reaching orgasm, it will be much harder to do.
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19/F
Last week I came down with a stomach bug, but it went away within a day. Since then, I've been having digestive problems.
I went to the doctor's office today, and he said that I have post-infectious IBS.
Is it permanent? Will I be able to eat spicy/greasy food ever again?
If anyone has any experience with it, and any tips on how to make it better, that would be great. (link)
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It is usually temporary, but it can last for different lengths of time, depending on a number of different factors such as the severity of and the length of time you suffered with the stomach bug.
However, whether you can eat spicy foods or greasy foods again is not something anyone can determine. IBS can be developed as the result of a number of things that occur and if you go on to develop 'normal' IBS (for want of a better phrase), you may find that certain foods make the situation worse.
I would recommend for the time being that you stick to plain foods. Bread, scrambled eggs, plain rice, soups and so on and drink plenty of fluids. I would suggest you do this for around a week, in order to give your stomach a chance to fully recover. Then gradually increase more of your average foods like meats, sweet foods and so on. Hopefully your symptoms will have gone by this point and you won't need to worry but when you do try spicy/greasy foods again, for goodness sake, do it in small doses!! I suffer frm IBS and I can promise you that eating foods like that in large quantities when your stomach is sensitive to it can produce some very nasty results!! Lol!
Hope you feel better soon and if you need any more advice on living with and controlling IBS, let me know.
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hey. i'm just wondering what to do in this dj situation. lol
i have these dj's. the guy i like is the dj and his best friend is, but they work together. however, this guy has a girlfriend, and i know all this and all that but the thing is that its my birthday and i don't want to see him there with his girlfriend and he might bring her to the party. what can i do? because i hire them for my parites and they're really good and i trust them with this because they are wonderful and my mom loves them and wants them there because they're very clean and very descent gentlemen. but, how can i make sure his girlfriend doesn't go? thanks a bunch (link)
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If he is just dj-ing the party then the chances are she won't come anyway, especially if this guy and his friend are only invited as dj's and nothing more.
However, if there really is no way you can do this, then I'm afraid it would be unreasonable to refuse to let her into the party. I understand how you feel, don't get me wrong. But I have been in this girl's position myself and being the object of hate because you fell for some other girl's crush is a horrible position to be in. No matter how you feel about him, the fact is that she is just a girl who fell for a guy. She didn't do it to spite you, because the chances are she never even knew you before she started going out with him. So why are you so mad at her?? It isn't her fault and it's unfair to treat her this way just because you can't have the guy you like. She doesn't deserve it. Perhaps if he knows how you feel about him, you should be mad at him, not her.
However, if the reason you don't want her there is because it would hurt want to see them loved up together while you are trying to celebrate your birthday, then you are within your reasons to try to find a way to ensure she doesn't come. BUT, do it tactfully. Explain that it is just close friends and family at the party or something along those lines, to make it clear it would be inappropriate for her to come. That way, you don't hurt her feelings, the guy you like doesn't get upset with you and you still get to party.
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how do you get rid of cellulite? cause like i'm 14 and hate having it! and.. whats it from? cause i'm about 135 & 5,1 -- fat i know! but like i had it when i was skinnier too? ahh. thanks. :) (link)
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As the person before me has said, there is unfortunately, no magical cure for cellulite. However, there are steps you can take to reduce the appearence of cellulite.
The cause is basically fat stores that are held in the body, so yes, exercise and a healthier diet will be the best way forward. However, you can also do the following:
- Drink more water. Water helps to flush out toxins from in the body and suppress the appetite. If you drink the recommended daily amount of 2 litres (8 cups) a day, this will be a big help.
- Help stimulate the circulation in the affected areas. Purchase a body brush, which is normally a circular wooden brush with natural fibre bristles. Start brushing from the bottom of your legs and work your way up, always brushing towards the heart. It is best to do this before you have a shower or a bath and over time should both improve the appearence of the skin in general and aid in reducing the appearence of cellulite, while increacing the circulation.
- Find a firming moisturiser. I use Dove Firming Lotion, which works very nicely. Massage it into the affected areas twice a day in a circular motion and it should firm the skin, reducing the appearence of the cellulite within around a month.
Lastly, I would warn you not to go too mad with trying to get rid of it. The majority of people, especially women suffer with the 'orange peel' skin, even famous celebrities. So please bear in mind that to an extent, it is normal.
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I'm a 21 year old woman and I live alone. My next-door neighbor is a middle-aged man, and I feel that he gives me excess attention. Since I moved here last year, he's left several gifts on my doorstep, including t-shirts, candies, home-grown vegetables, and long letters about how people come into your life for a reason. He often offers to fix up my car or cook for me. Last year, I contacted my property managment and, without naming names, let them know that a neighbor was being too friendly. What scares me is that they knew it was him, and he laid low for a bit. Eventually he confronted me, jokingly asking if I really thought he meant me harm. At one point, a policeman knocked and asked me if I knew my "older, African-American neighbor" but wouldn't tell me why. I feel somewhat guilty of racism and snobbery, but, more importantly, I don't feel entirely secure. He might be spying on me. He knows if I've been napping or on my computer. Tonight I was dozing off on the couch, having a little alone time, when he knocked. I have blinds, but I noticed they were a bit tilted. When I opened, he asked if I were "daydreaming" and then asked my boyfriend's name, claiming he might have received a package for him. Am I a racist or a snob, or do I really have something to worry about? Contacting the management didn't work, so what should I do? (link)
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To be honest here, no I don't think you are being a snob or racist, because if I were in your shoes, I would feel just as violated and threatened.
The fact is that this guy is focusing unwanted attention from you and despite trying to warn him away, he keeps coming back and appears to be verging on stalker status.
It's perfectly possible that this man is just trying to be nice and this is a possibility we cannot dismiss out of hand because he has not yet behaved in a way that solidly warrants belief he is after anything else. However, my rule of thumb when dealing with someone like this is to be very careful, as you don't want to upset them and inadvertently bring out a side of them you don't wish to know.
The first thing I would recommend is that you let everybody close to you know about the problems you have been having with him. That way, on the offchance anything should happen, other people know about this man. Also, make sure that you have curtains, rather than blinds for your home, so that he is unable to see through. Do everything you can to secure your home frm outside view and from being broken into. Purchase a deadlock. These sorts of locks are hefty and quite expensive but they work in a way that means nobody can gain access to your home without a key, even from the inside.
Also, start keeping a diary of what happens. Make a note of what he says, when you see him, the presents he leaves you. Whenever he leaves you a gift, thank him but return it so that if he considers these gifts to a potential lover, he can see the feelings go unrequited.
I would be very interested in why the policeman asked you about this man. Generally police speak to neighbours of someone they suspect of an illegal action, in order to identify him as a person or his general personality. If you believe this might be why they came to you, I would advise you contact them again and tell them what has been going on. I would urge you most strongly to do this, in case he is under investigation for something serious and you could be at risk. The chances of this are small but it is always better to be safe than sorry.
Finally, if you believe this man is a danger to you in ANY way, either get out of your home or call the police. It may sound melodramatic but many a woman has lost her life over not taking a situation seriously enough. Get an attack alarm and keep it on you at all times if you feel he may be a threat but has done nothing yet. The minute he indicates he may do something, call the police. If he actually does try to harm you, use the attack alarm. For safety sake and for general good use, it also might be a good idea to look into self defence courses in your local area, so that if anything does happen (with him or anyone else) you will know how to protect yourself.
Finally, I know you're scared. Try not to look it. Fear is a weakness men with intentions will pick up on easily and take advantage of. So even though you may not feel it, walk with your head held high and walk confidently. Also, try to keep something about your person that can be used as a weapon. Something as subtle as an umberella will work perfectly.
If you need to talk, if you are scared or concerned or if he does anything else and you're not sure what to do, then PLEASE let me know. Don't go through this alone. I have been stalked myself in the past and I know how terrifying it can be. So feel free to message me here or e-mail me, day or night on hottchickie@hotmail.com and I will do anything I can to help you. I check my messages here and my e-mails several times a day so please don't hesitate.
Take care,
Vikki
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well my boyfriend and I (I'm 16 and he's 17) have been dating for almost 5 months now. He said he loves me a lot. He wanted to get married , etc. We've known each other before. I met him 3 years before this and we sorta gone out for a little bit but things weren't working out. But now he says things are going to be different. For some reasons I don't trust him. I seem to have this feeling like we wouldn't last. I can't talk to him about it. He thinks we're meant to be. But I feel like our relationship has so many flaws that we shouldn't be together. Don't get me wrong, I love him though. So I'm just really confused. Someone help me?.. thnxx. (link)
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To be absoloutely honest, you are both very young to be contemplating something as everlasting as marriage. You have to bear in mind that marriage is meant to be a permanent thing and at 16 and 17, you still have a lot of time ahead of you both to grow and change as people. In four years time, you could find that you are both totally different people to the people you are now and that you no longer fit together as a couple.
One of the reasons I say this is because with such a high divorce rate, you need to be absoloutely sure that you want to marry someone before you leap in. From what you have said, you don't sound like you are ready or that you really want to spend the rest of your life with this man.
The thing you have to bear in mind is that love does not mean the relationship is right. You can love someone with all your heart and fear being apart from them...but if they don't want the same things you want or if that relationship is not one built on trust, honesty and communication, love does not mean you have to be together. Sometimes, if a relationship is detrimental to our mental or emotional growth as a person, or if it is bad for you in some other way, no matter how much you may love that person, you have to walk away.
Please bear in mind that you are still only 16 and he is still only 17. There is more than enough time for you both to move on and find the people you are both to spend your lives with. If you really feel you can't trust him now then the chances are you will never feel you can trust him and the relationship will not work out. It is, of course, entirely up to you as to how you deal with this and what you decide to do. However, my personal advice would be that if you know the relationship has no future, the kindest thing would be to end it now.
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