Good question!

Usually what helps me is to keep the T.V on all night and keep the lights on until I can fall asleep. Like watching a favorite movie of yours, or corny T.V shows on Nick@Nite.

Sometimes reading a magazine could help, reading a book could take your mind off of it. Listening to the radio if you like that.

What would probably help is keeping the lights on all night, because when the room darkens, that is probably what triggers your mind to get scared. And then, you'll get used to the fact that theres nothing to be afriad of in your room a few days after.

-TheTeenGirl

I definetly think you like him. You both talked a lot and you were really excited to see him. Theres no hate in this situation, you just have to break him from his shell.

The next time he starts talking about bass, change the subject to something you guys used to talk about. And if he jumps back on the subject of the bass, just say, "ok, lets talk about something else besides the bass" or something like that. Tell him you want the friendship you both had back and you want to start from where you left off with him. Guys can find a lot of different things to be obsessed with, and soon he may get over that and talk about something else. I'm sure if you started a real relationship with him, he may just stop talking about the bass so much.

He's just being a guy, and thats truly all the explaination you can get by with. But, this definetly isn't hate.


-TheTeenGirl

Usually when you are feeling depressed, you don't really want to open to anyone around you that much.

I've been in the situation, and I've learned that everytime I get depressed and I talk to someone, so much weight feels like it's came off of my shoulders. It's a good feeling to know that somebody else knows you've been really depressed. And if theres anyone you should tell, it's definetly your parents, or at least one of them, whichever you are closest to.

What you have to know is that it's OK to feel weak, and depressed. It's OK to cry on someone's shoulder. And it's definetly OK to ask for help when you feel like you are drowning in your tears of depression.

But if it takes telling somebody else first for you to feel comfortable with telling your parents, then I'd probably confide in a best friend, or a school counselor.

If you need anymore advice concerning depression, or asking for help, I'm definetly here to help, and I know the pain

-TheTeenGirl

Well, nothing makes me more happy than to hear that you want to clear your reputation. It's very responsible of you and I know that you can definetly find it in yourself to do so!

For one thing, it's no joke to be called a slut, theres nothing funny about it at all even if you don't mean it. So you have to be the one to step up and tell them that you feel hurt to be called a slut and that it isn't a joke to you. You have to tell them that you want to start over and have support in it. If you have friends that are calling you a name that everyone else is calling you, how will ever ever find support in their hearts?

For another, you have to be able to forgive yourself for this reputation. You say that you wish it never happened. Well, it did, but that doesn't mean it's too late to start over and move forward. If you truly can't forgive yourself for what's happened, then you'll never be able to move on. It's about loving yourself again and loving who you are.

You also asked if having sex with 4 different people was slutty. Well, it's a slutty act, but I don't think you ARE a slut. I think you've made a mistake, and you're learning from it. And I hope you've learned that having sex young isn't the smartest thing you can do for yourself. Even if you weren't being called a slut, I hope you'd still want to clear things up and start over. Because you will likely not end up with these people later on. You will likely not be married to them because you are so young. Everything changes very much as you get older.

Sometimes it takes learning from experiance to understand why something doesn't work out. I hope that you now understand from experiance that young sex isn't the way to go.


-TheTeenGirl

You have to be able to make a line with yourself that you shouldn't cross with another guy.

When you flirt with another guy, you have to think, would I want my guy to be flirting with other girls like I am with other guys? And I'm sure you'd hate it if he were flirting the way you were with other people.

If you run around flirting with guys, then you'll push it with your boyfriend, and he'll think that talking to girls in a certain way that you don't like is ok because you don't watch yourself when it comes to the way you act around guys.

You have to make bounderies. Flirting and acting love-silly is for your boyfriend's enjoyment, not your friends! You have to make him feel like he is your boyfriend, not just another friend you flirt and play around with.


-TheTeenGirl

I'm very sorry that things aren't really working out for you with boys.

Dylan sounds like a guy you shouldn't try dating again if he will take one of your friends over you. And your friend shouldn't be labelled your friend for even trying to break you and Dylan up.

If you know that your new boyfriend isn't treating you right, then you need to end things with him too. Sometimes you just have to try getting over those feelings you have left for boys because obsessing with him and trying to find ways to get him back would make you weaker.

so be strong and move on with your life! You don't need Dylan or your "friend".

Well, I kind of have to question your action. Your friend went and got pads for you and you got upset because she told the nurses that they were for you?

I'm sorry, but I don't understand the big deal about it. She was kind enough to help you in a emergency, and you fought with her over that? I mean, do the nurses not allow you to get pads more than twice? And if the pads were costing you money, they'd give you as many as you needed and ask you to pay them back.

So, my next guess would be that you felt embarrased about the nurses knowing that you were on your period? I really don't understand what the big deal was. What I really think is that you overreacted. Not only because you got upset over something small, but your friend went out of her way to help you and that wasn't enough for you. Every girl gets their period, every girl does. So the nurses understand that obviously that you had an emergency.

You are right about what your friend did by not giving the pads to you. It was wrong even though you guys were in a fight. I think you both owe each other an apology. Tell your friend that you greatly appreciated her getting pads for you, but you realize that you overreacted, and I hope you do realize it, unless there is something in your story that you failed to add. Tell her that the arguement that got started wasn't worth the friendship being broken. And ok, maybe she was pretty rude to mention your name even though you asked her not to. Tell her that it made you feel upset when she did it, don't yell and start fighting.

And tell her that you know you were wrong on your part, but you really needed those pads at track practice, and you feel that she would have rather let you leak than jut being mature and giving the pads that she went out and got for you.


-TheTeenGirl

I'll just let you know ahead of time that you won't ever be able to convince your friends how stupid their behavior is when they do drugs.

Whatever you do, stick with your promise to yourself. If you give into it, think of how much you'd be letting yourself down and it'd be like not being able to keep promises to yourself!

As for having them as friends, if they are always getting high and drinking, then you've probably got low chances to hang out with them again. Not only would you be left out, but you may even feel tempted or you'd get in trouble with them if they did something stupid and dangerous.

Just whatever you do, do NOT give in! If you feel tempted, then it's time to make them just people you talk to in school, where they aren't high or drinking. Your oath will be worth it in your life. Take this from someone who had to watch drugs ruin someone I love's life. I never usually share my past experiances in my column, but you have no idea what drugs can REALLY do. Do not let yourself down.


-TheTeenGirl

Where are you parents or guardian? If they are unaware of what's going on, it's time to drag them in.

I'm not just going to tell you that your sister doesn't really hate you, whether it's true or not, you don't deserve to hear it all of the time. A lot of sisters do fight and say horrible things, but if it's hurting you this bad, then it's time to tell your parents. If you know that she is in a controlling relationship, let your parents know this too. Sometimes telling your sister differently when she tells you that she hates you, it might make her think twice.

For example, the next time she tells you that she hates you, just say, "You know, I could say the same thing, but that wouldn't be true for me to say, so sorry that I can't respond the way you'd like me too." Or something along those lines. It will make her think about what she's saying. Just don't fight back even though it's really hard. But, it would be saying to her that you really don't care what she's saying. EVEN if you do, don't show it.

But mainly, I want your parents to know what's been going on between you and her. So please let them know so that you can feel good about letting someone know! And you will feel good.


-TheTeenGirl

You just need to let her go off with him and tell her that if she can't be a true friend, then you can't be a friend at all. You've already told her how you felt about the lying.

Also, try to understand that just because she's found a boyfriend that makes her happy, it doesn't mean that she's forgotten about you. She is just really happy to have a boyfriend, it's all new and exciting. That little "honeymoon" phase with her and her boyfriend will be gone if she even stays with him for that long. But, if she's lying, then that's when you should start getting upset.

Let her know that she is losing her friendships by lying and covering up the fact that she's with her boyfriend again, and tell her that you'd rather her be telling you the truth and being with him all of the time rather than lying about it. Tell her that you are aware of her lies still. If she still can't accept that she's damaging her friendships, then don't talk to her, but DO NOT round up your other two friends and team up on her. That would be just as cruel, you have to be the mature one in this situation.

-TheTeenGirl

It isn't that girls don't like really nice guys, when they are young, they want the ones that are popular or get into trouble half of the time. It's pretty normal, but soon they grow up and realize that guys like you are the ones worth running for. A lot of girls are just confused and don't know what they are getting themselves into when they date guys just because they are hott or they happen to be liked by every girl.

It's like any other trend, skaters are the guy trend right now, but soon it will change.

-TheTeenGirl

There isn't really an answer to it. It's human to stereotype.

It's just normal, in your mind you just kind of split everything up into different groups. I know that it isn't always healthy, but it really can't be controlled. When you are put into a school of thousands of kids that act/walk/dress/ or talk differently, you can't help but to notice it and stereotype.

-TheTeenGirl

Everyone in school will get judged and talked about, you have more of that because your difference is noticable as you said. I can't exactly imagine how you feel to have that extra layer of judgement, but the important thing is that you know that you are just like everyone else and you are fun, loving, and pretty.

This is important because these are people at your school, it isn't your sister, brother, or parents. These people are people you won't have to live with forever. And if people don't really care to actually hang out with you, or talk their time to talk to you before they say something, those people don't deserve to know you in the first place. They don't even deserve a chance. You don't need to show these people that you aren't what they say you are. It doesn't matter what you do, they will always want to see you as what they say you are.

And it isn't because they hate you or anything, it's because you are physically different and people see it, so they have nothing better to do than laugh at somebody who is as different as you. You need to just hang out with your friends like you are a normal fun girl that you describe yourself as! And don't be afraid to open up to new people, I know it's hard, but as you say, you are just like anyone else and it's true.


-TheTeenGirl

You probably shouldn't worry about it. A guy friend was telling you this, anyway. You guys aren't together, if he's hinting around something, maybe you should wait until he's man enough to come out and say it.

-TheTeenGirl

Listen, you are fourteen years old. I know that every teen goes through certain times where they just don't care to believe or just don't want to, but the point is that you are young. You cannot decide this kind of stuff right now at your age. You need to respect your parents and try church classes, they only want the best for you, so be mature about this like you want to and just keep trying like a mature young woman would do.

Plus, you need to ask your parents more about their religion and exactly what their beliefs are. It sounds to me like you don't know a whole lot about it when you say that you just don't believe in that, "stuff". That is something else you should do to come across mature, when you try arguing it, you come acrossed debating like a child. Remember that you are so young to start acting like you know a lot on this topic.


-TheTeenGirl

You don't need to hang around or confront Lizzie about this situation. I think that I should tell you something that might help.

When you go and talk really bad about popular people, or just anyone, it makes you nearly as bad as you make them out to be. If you sit and hear people trash talking somebody, you think really low of them because they have nothing better to do than worry about hurting others' feelings. Don't be that person. When she asks about who not to trust, you can just simply say, "Well, you can trust me and my friends and hang with us if you want to. But I don't know other people enough to really tell you whether they are trustworthy or not." Even if that is not true, you need to say it and not start talking bad about anyone.

She was very wrong for doing what she did to you, but I think you can kind of learn a lesson from that. And remember, don't try to say that I'm keeping you from telling your opinion. I am telling you that there is a difference between an opinion, and just plain disrepectful gossip.


-TheTeenGirl

Aren't you eighteen now? You said two years ago you were sixteen, so you are at least an adult now, so why are you doing a childish thing like friends with benefits?

You should be acting your age! Not that anyone should be doing friends with benefits but don't you think that maybe you should know better? I guess not. This is exactly what you deserve for putting yourself through this with a guy thats free to do whatever he wants. He doesn't HAVE to call you and tell you where he's been or where he is. You guys are only friends that have sex! That is what message you are giving to this guy. Friends with benefits isn't commitment, it's having freedom of going off and doing other girls including you. Aren't you grossed out yet?

I think that you need to have a little more respect for yourself and call the whole thing off. Think about what you are doing. You are an adult! Make decisions that respect yourself and the people around you. This is damaging you more than anyone else. Think about that, too.

-TheTeenGirl

If you know that he's flirting with you both the same, then I wouldn't try to compete with another girl. Is it really worth it if you think that he's playing the both of you? No. Don't go after the player. Don't even play the game!

You can't make somebody like you more than another person, thats just being silly and selfish. It's basically a waste of your time to try to compete with someone, go for somebody who won't make you try to fight for him.

-TheTeenGirl

If she's trying to be your friend, it's best that you are honest with her about how you've felt ever since she went through her changes.

People like her, that turn away and go downhill wouldn't call it changing. They think of it as growing up and maturing, but it's not. It's the exact opposite. There are a lot of people that you'll meet, and you'll think that they will be there for you forever, but then when they chanfe, you realize that they won't be hanging around you for too long. Not because they don't like you anymore, but because they have low self-esteem and they go out and try to get attention.

I know that you're thinking that they really do think higly of themselves, but they actually don't.

The best that you can do is tell your friend that you want the old Hana back instead of one that changed.

-TheTeenGirl

This situation depends on you. Do you want to go to the party? I wouldn't want to go if everyone there was going to drink and get involved in illegal activity when I didn't want to be involved in it. If you know that your friends won't get drunk or drink too much, then I'd see a point in going.

But for now, it seems that your friends are in this too. What I'm saying is that you'll be singled out if you're invited to a party that involves drinking if you aren't going to drink. You'll be the only sober one there. Thats being left out. So personally, if I were you, I'd have no interest in going. But, if you do go, you have to do whatever you can to stick to your personal goal. If you do not want to drink, or get drunk, do not let this change even when times where you feel like nothing is worth living for or if your friends are begging you. The key is self control in this situation.

-TheTeenGirl

My name is Erin and I am now 18 years old. You may realize through out looking at my column, some of you love me and some of you flat out hate me. There's really no gray area with me I guess you can say.

I haven't given advice here in so long and it's only because I got caught up in life. But I'm more mature than I ever thought I could be.
So anyway I'm here again. It's been a long time, but I still love giving advice and still plan on it in the future.

Everyone should feel free to Private Message me for advice, I can be harsh, but I'm always trying to help someone by giving them the truth they need.

About My Ratings:
I enjoy ratings. And if I ask a question on here, I always rate the person. If you work hard to give advice, you deserve to be rated.

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