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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
I've got a choir audition on Saturday. I'm in for sure, it's just a matter of which choir I'm in.
Any audition tips other than to be confident?
The Answer
Get a lot of sleep and dress nicely. For any audition/interview you ever have in your life, it pays to look good.
You might also want to avoid any dairy products for a day or two beforehand, they aren't very good for your voice. Tea however, is wonderful for you.
Good luck.
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The Question
Today in Life Skills, my school counselor told us girls "all 13-year-old boys care about is looks." (it's not a co-ed class) She also went on to say that 13-year-old boys only like girls with big boobs and a big ass. She said that they are very shallow, but the best thing for us to do is wait for them to grow up.
Is this really true? Do boys only notice boobs and butts on a girl and nothing else? It doesn't make me feel too good knowing that, because I certainly don't have a big butt and big boobs, and I'd like to have a boyfriend.
The Answer
Although I don't think your teacher was right (and certainly not politically correct) to say what she said, I have to agree with her conclusion that 13-year-old boys are basically undate-able.
As a 13-year-old girl, I met cute guys, I met guys I liked and I met guy who were really sweet, but I NEVER did or have met a 13-year-old guy who is actually capable of being in the kind of relationship I wanted. Emotionally and socially, I've never met one who is quite there yet.
That isn't to say they don't exist, just that I have not yet seen it.
I think the important thing for every girl in your position to remember is that not every guy you like is worth turning into a boyfriend. Having a boyfriend just because you want a boyfriend, is asking for trouble and pain. If someone wonderful falls into your lap at thirteen, great, lucky you, but don't count on it. I honestly believe you'll save yourself a lot of angst and disappointment if you hold off on dating for a few years.
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The Question
Hey, I'm 15/m. There's this girl at my school that i've known for about a month now and I really like her, a lot. I want to ask her out, but today she told me that she was bisexual, and leans more towards girls because so far her guy relationships haven't been so well. I asked her if she still dates guys and she was like "Haha why?" and I just said "Hehe just wondering ;)" but yeah she seems like she wants to go out with me too and we seem to always be around each other during lunch or passing periods and such. We're going to a movie together on Friday, but we're getting there about two hours earlier so we can shop. I'm thinking about asking her out then, but I'm not sure if she'll say yes... any suggestions on what to do? How should I ask her out, what should I say to spark the convorsation? Any help please? Thanks.
The Answer
Being bi-sexual doesn't mean she is less likely to go out with you then any other girl. If she likes you she will, if she doesn't she wont. It's that simple. Chicks are usually that simple.
My advice is the same it would be with any other girl. Just talk to her, about anything, ask questions about things she says and things she is interested in, pay attention and enjoy yourself when you are with her.
If you are really worried about being turned down you could always ease your way into dating. I'm a huge fan of the pre-date. Invite her out just the two of you a few times (without using that scary 'date' word) and it will quickly become obvious if she is open to dating you.
One last word of advice, if you are going to ask a girl out do it closer to the end of a get together, not at the beginning. That way if the answer is no you don't have to keep hanging out feeling awkward. In this case I'd just say something like "Hey this was fun, we should do this again." and throw out an idea of something else you could do together.
Good luck.
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The Question
Is losing your virginity on prom night the worst thing ever??
cause me and my boyfriend are staying in a hotel with his bro and my best friend... but with 2 rooms?
Im a good virgin but i love my boyfriend... and i dunno if im ready...
The Answer
If you don't know for sure, don't take the chance.
In my opinion, your first time is a big deal, you don't need to make it any bigger by putting it on a very special night like prom. I strongly advise that if/when you are ready to take this step, take it slowly and calmly someplace you are comfortable, not some foreign hotel room. Being able to relax is the difference between a clumsy icky first time and an enjoyable one.
Besides that I have seen far too many girls ruin their prom for themselves as they sit there and worry about the sex they'll be having afterwards rather then enjoying the party.
Whatever you decide though, decide before you get to the hotel room and tell your boyfriend your decision up front. Don't let the question of sex or no just linger, shove it out of the way so you can have a stress free night.
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The Question
hi,
i am a male and 21 years old.a year ago i used to masturbate more(probably 35 times a month).gradually i decreased the count.now its hardly 5-7 times a month.since three months i ve been experiencing an acute pain in my stomach after masturbating and i am feeling tired too.i am afraid if something is going wong with me.does masturbation harm one???please let me know why this is happening and if there could be any problems later....
thank you
The Answer
Go ask a Doctor.
Masturbation isn't harmful and it should not cause pain, having said that no one here is a doctor and a doctor is the only person who will be able to deduce what is happening to you.
I understand this might be a bit embarrassing for you, but I doubt it will bother your doctor. Doctors aren't there to judge, they are there to heal and they work with the human body all the time, the intimate bits don't bother them.
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The Question
To make this short: Well I like this guy and he liked /likes me back! But then once he told me he loved me and I hated that! So I started ignoring him! First he seemed like he was upset and now he’s doing the same thing! Now I’m upset :-( well he’s not talking to me and sometimes he looked at me but not for long or something just for like 2 sec. and yesterday on the bus he was talking about another girl he was like: yeah she has straight hair (well I also have straight hair but everyone knows that ???) and than a guy said (I don’t know if he was talking to my crush but maby he was???) show that girl…and then he got interrupted …. So yeah does he like some1 else? What do you guys think? And does he still like me? Well that thing when he told me he loved me happened 2 month ago but I’m just wondering…oh yeah and what should I do on the bus tomorrow? Talk to him? And when yes what should I say? And does he still like me????
Thanks for your advice :-)
I’ll rate 5 for good advice
The Answer
If you got upset with him and then ignored him without an explanation, then yeah, he probably doesn't like you anymore. I don't blame him.
If someone says something to you that you aren't comfortable with, discuss it. Talk about it. Figure out what is going on. Ignoring someone is the way a six year old would deal with it. Unless you're a six year old, you should be able to manage better.
Talk to him tomorrow if you want, maybe he'll forgive you eventually, maybe not. You treated him rather shabbily.
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The Question
How old do you have to be to work at blockbuster?
I looked on the website but couldn't find an answer. If it helps I live in San Diego, CA.
Thanks a bunch.
The Answer
From my boyfriend who is dangerously close to making a career out of being a Blockbuster employee:
Officially the hiring policy is that you must be over 16, however since Blockbuster rents R-rated movies they much prefer people to be over 18. So if it comes down to you and another person who is over eighteen, you will not get the job.
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The Question
im sorry if this is in the wrong category but..
14/f
im going to get a physical soon ..and i shave down there so would it be awkward if he notices it, like would he say anything?
The Answer
Doctors see everything. Literally, every possible weird/gross/odd physical thing you can imagine, they see it. Shaving isn't even wierd, and besides that, they don't much care.
Lots of people shave, men and women, even very young women. I doubt your doctor will bat an eye at it, except maybe to ask you if you are sexually active.
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The Question
Yet, I still find myself caring.
I used to go to language school early last year with this guy I met there and we spoke a bit then I left and we spoke sometimes on MSN. Well tonight we were talking and he basically joked "What's a hot sexy girl like you doing alone" and I asked if he really meant that, and he said then I wasn't hot and sexy at all, and I would be if I wore a bit more makeup. I felt very upset by this comment and got mad at him and called him a whole lot of names, and said I was only nice to him because I felt sorry for him, blah blah blah. I didn't mean a word I said.
Well he just emailed me, not apologizing or anything, but saying he was upset by what I said, and that its true i wasn't the most attractive girl there, everyone else was prettier but he doesn't try and sugarcoat things. Then he went on to say he feels horrible he wasted effort and breath on me when i was only being nice to him because i felt sorry. He said this cut him pretty badly because he thought we could've been friends.
Should I apologize to him? I have absolutely zero interest in him, but I feel guilty now. He did hurt me pretty badly though. I don't take comments about my appearance too well. Then again two wrongs don't make a right. I did insult him pretty badly. So what do I do? Sorry this is so long.
The Answer
You probably should apologize if you said nasty things just to hurt him. You were certainly in the wrong doing that, but that doesn't make him right by a long shot and that certainly doesn't mean you should pursue a friendship with the poor fool.
If anything, this situation tells you that the two of you have very different expectations and attitudes. In my opinion, this guy wasn't just failing to 'sugarcoat' things, he was being a jerk. He could have just said he was teasing you or even "Nah you're not the prettiest thing ever", but his poor judgment caused him to cross the line into Jackassville. The make-up comment was entirely inappropriate and certainly not the behavior I expect from a friend.
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The Question
My best friend has been kind of mad at me for a while now. Not like angry pissed off and doesn't talk to me; just kind of like hurt, upset, can't talk to me. I asked him to tell me what I did and he wouldn't. He's been kind of mean to me (well I think he's being mean but I know it's just because of whatever I did) and I really couldn't stand it. I've known him almost all my life and I can't have him act this way towards me and not tell me why.
So today I went to his house and told him that I'm sure he has a good reason and whenever he wants to talk to me about it I'll be there but until then, I don't think I can be friends with him. He told me that he just couldn't talk to me about it just yet and that he understood that I don't want to be around him and that he could talk a break from me too. So after that, I left.
I don't know if I should have done that now because I feel really bad about it. Should I have done that? What should I do now? 17/f
The Answer
You have a right to take care of your own feelings. If you needed a break from him because his behavior was hurting you and he wasn't willing to change his behavior, that's fine.
Don't cut him right out of your life though. If you do you might never know just what happened. Maybe wait a week or two and drop him a message asking if he was feeling any better and you could talk about what happened. Tell him you'd like to be his friend again and put this behind you.
Being there for him isn't going to be much help to him if *you* are his problem. So back off, and let him figure it out.
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The Question
Hi there!
I am a 24 year old female who is single. I am currently liking my co-worker/friend who is a year older than me. Can you please help me decipher whether he likes me or not.
I have been with the company that I work for over a year. But towards the end of last year my co-worker started to act weird around me. He tends to hang-out in my cubicle more and takes time to chat with me. He acts extra sweet and nice to me compared before.
When he gave his christmas present which by the way is a purse. While opening the gift, I found a piece of paper with white doves on it. The first thing that came to my mind is that this symbolizes marriage or love. My question is did he intentionally place this or was it just an accident?
And is it normal for him to kiss me on the forehead on special occassions? My friends tell me that it it not normal for friends to kiss. Was it just a friendly kiss or did it have meaning? Please help me!!!
Thank you very much!!!
The Answer
Please! You are twenty-four years old. Stop playing the "Does he like me?" game. Start playing the "I am a grown women in charge of my own destiny" game.
He gave you a nice gift and is affectionate; these are good signs (however I doubt the piece of paper in the purse meant a thing, very few men are that subtle.)
But most importantly is that in your gut, it sounds to me like you believe he is interested. There you go, trust that instinct. You know your own world and mind better then anyone else here.
So great, he's interested. Are you going to do anything about that?
If you like him too, you probably should.
The first thing you might want to do is look into your company's policy on interoffice dating. You don't want to do anything that could get either of you fired.
After that, offer a bit more encouragement and work up to asking him out for coffee or lunch, something quick and sweet during the work day or right after, where you can truly gauge his interest.
Take control and good luck.
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The Question
is it bad to practice putting in tampons when you havent started your period?
The Answer
There is no real problem with practicing before you've started your period but you could irritate your vagina if you start practicing too often. Once or twice should be no problem, but tugging them out repeatedly will probably make you very uncomfortable.
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The Question
I just got my period and i put a tampon in. How do I know that i put it in the right place. I read the directions and everything... is it also possible that may be too long??
The Answer
I can't see how you could have put it in the wrong place, chances are if you feel like it's too long, you actually haven't put it far enough in.
It's a little nerve racking I know, but the tampon really has to go all the way in for it to be comfortable and to protect you. You shouldn't be able to see anything but the string. Next time you try to put a tampon in try putting it in a bit deeper. I bet that will help.
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The Question
For my english class i have to watch a movie, and then "critize" the movie the best i can in like an essay. And then talk about why i like it, and why i dont. Well i'm not the smartest kid in the world, and i spend most of my english time sleeping or listening to my ipod. So if you could.. tell me what critizing is. And how i would do that for a movie i like. [she made us pick the movie first.. & write it down. And i picked one i like]
THANKS IN ADVANCE. puh-lease help!
The Answer
I am assuming that by 'criticize' the movie the teacher actually means for you to write a critique of the movie. Based on the that assumption I have this to offer you:
How to Learn to Write a Movie Critique
Method One: Pay attention in class
Method Two: Admit to your teacher you were not paying attention in class and ask them to explain the expectations to you.
Method Three: Check out the following websites and hope against hope that that is what your teacher is expecting from you:
http://web.uvic.ca/geru/439/essay.html
http://dl.ccc.cccd.edu/classes/internet/history175/critiques.htm
http://chs.smuhsd.org/bigue/art_of_video/index/docs/film_reveiw.doc
Good Luck.
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The Question
Hey, so i've been going out with my boyfriend for about 8 months and we just recently have becoming open with each other and talking about our past relationships and what we have done with people, and i'll admit i hav hookedup wit a decent amount of people..and whenever i mention a guys name he asked me if i have hookedup wit them..and i keep telling him what happened and i think he gets uncomfortable..so when he asks if ive' hooked up wit a guy next time i mention a guys name, shud i just say no or tell him truth, i do think honesty is the best policy but it seems to be making him more upset..so what shud i do?
The Answer
Honesty is the best policy, but honesty doesn't mean full disclosure. Don't give him the gory details. They are none of his business. The details of any of your 'hookups' are only important to you and the person you were with.
Beyond that you might want to tell him you rather not talk about it because it is clearly making him upset. Talking through the issue might be all you need to do for him to realize he is being silly obsessing about the past. He is the one you want, those other guys are behind you.
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The Question
i m 25 years old. when ever i think or watch about any thing related to sex there some liquid start to flow from my vegina. i mostly feels wetness through the wholeday. i just wanna ask that i m sinle not a married one, does it can be harmfull form me or not......otherwise please give me some advise to avoid these situations.......please please im really worried. u must tell me
The Answer
That is completely normal, every woman experiences that.
When a woman gets excited the vagina produces lubrication to aid in penetration. Even if you aren't going to have sex, your body just does this, it's out of your control and you can't do anything to make it stop. The only way to avoid it is to avoid any thoughts of sex.
Since that is probably impossible, if the wetness really bothers you, you could wear a thin pad like you do on your period.
It sounds to me like your culture probably doesn't encourage you to speak openly about these things. Check out http://www.coolnurse.com/vagina.htm to learn a bit more about your body.
Good Luck Darling.
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The Question
I lovee my current girlfriend soo much! SHe has been gone for 10 days on vacation with her parents to Canada. Last night I had two friends over. One is an ex who I am still good friends with. The history on us? It was a short 1 month thing. The classic friends giving the 'somethin more than friends' thing a try that didnt go well.
Well me and her were laying on my bed and my friend was next to us. Her body was not close to mine..but i was resting my head close to her and my hand was on her shoulder. I was extremely tired about to fall asleep. Is this cheating in some way to you? I mean i have other friends that are girls who will rest their head on my stomach while playing video games..and it is absolultey nothin romantic about it because we are strictly friends and both have different love interests and 'types.'
My ex thinks it was nothin..but should i tell my gf about this? If she ever found out she would flip out because she is extremely sensitive on the topic of me and my ex. She finds it odd we hang out because we are exes. *keep in mind its not like i hang out alonnne with this girl* I have a big group of friends kind of and we hang out together kind of thing.
well..do i have anything to feel guilty about?
The Answer
No, of course not. You didn't cheat, not in action and not in thought. No need to confess something to your girlfriend when you did nothing wrong, especially if it will only upset her.
Confessing this non-cheating event will do nothing but feed into your girlfriend's insecurities and make both of you miserable over something that didn't happen anywhere but in your imaginations.
The real problem here is that your girlfriend seems to think that your behavior is inappropriate. Have you made it clear to her you disagree? Do you plan on changing the way you deal with female friends because of her feelings? You should be able to talk with her on what you think is okay, not with your ex specifically, but with all the other female people in your life. There might need to be some compromise, but in the end she's going to have to have some faith in you.
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The Question
This may seem like an odd question but i need advice. How shall i put this. well, to me a normal guy would have a straight penis. Well mine when hard seems to take on the banana affect. it veers to the left. not real bad but a definite curve. Will this hinder my sexual performance. I mean im shy to have sex knowing my penis is curved. is this normal.
The Answer
Perfectly normal.
From a female perspective, I have had no complaints about anyone I've been with who was less then perfectly straight (at least no complaints that had to do with their penis).
Although if the girl you choose to be with doesn't know they can be curved you might just need to politely inform her it's natural. No need to be insecure about it.
(Someone in your life might suggest to you that a bent penis is caused by too much masturbation. That person should be laughed at and then promptly ignored. It absolutely is not caused by masturbation. It's the way that the muscles, fascia and skin develop from birth to puberty that shapes the penis, not anything you do to it.)
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The Question
Im really upset, i said id go out with my bestfriends cousin, he seemed like a really nice guy n ova msn we got really close, we talked thru my bestfriend alot n even had cyber n sent exposing fotos...he then said a few things that upset me, like "i love you becuase i want to have sex with you" and refused to call me, he is now in europe for a coulple of weeks n in that time i became friends with this other guy that im meeting up with him tommorrow, we hav planned to get a bit friendly...*hint hint* n he wants to be with me, the other guy im with is a tool, bt he has his sweet moments, bt im cheating on him with another guy, cheating isnt my style, should i ruin his holiday and tell him now, or should i cheat on him and tell him when he gets back? need sum serius help her guys!
The Answer
How about don't cheat, or stop cheating now, tell your guy in Europe as soon as you can that it is over, and then go out with the new one.
If cheating 'isn't your style' then don't do it. If you cheat, then you are a cheater. Easy as pie.
But honestly, if you are cybering, sending photos and arranging to get friendly with guys only a week or two after you met them you are setting yourself up for some disappointment. Trust me, I've been there and done that. The sooner you fool around with a guy, the sooner he morphs into an incredible jerk. Get to know them a bit better first and you wont find yourself in this situation with a 'tool' for a boyfriend nearly so often.
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The Question
...even if we give good advice people rate low if it's something they don't want to hear? Too bad we can't add a comment to their rating.
The Answer
Revenge ratings are a simple fact of the system as it stands. You will get low ratings for telling people what they don't want to here. Just the way you'll annoy people in real life for telling it like it is, not like they wish it was. Your rating here isn't vitally important and the moderators are very aware of the problems in the current rating system, revenge ratings being one.
Moderators also do keep their eyes open for people who are trolling and rate a ton of people low out spite.
Now if people are being abusive in their feedback, insulting, threatening or breaking any rules, report that as abuse. The rules of this site apply in feedback just the way they do in questions and answers. Check out the Abuse Report form and The Reasons We Ban People, they are important things to know.
But don't let those low ratings get to you too much. Sometimes when a person is first told the sad truth they are angry and upset, but as more and more people talk sense to them, most people see the light (or at least that is the hope I hold in my heart). Being one of those voices of reason must often be the reward in and of itself.
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