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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

When I use the bathroom there is blood in my stool

None of us here are doctors so we are not going to be able to give you a definitive answer to your question.

Being able to see blood actually mixed into the stool itself usually requires a test strip. I think what you are seeing is bright red blood on the tissue paper and or in the water in the bowl. This could be caused by several things the most common are hemorrhoids, both internal and external and something called anal fissures.

While neither of these are all that serious and generally are left alone by the doctors; unless they interfere with bowel movements or bowel movements cause uncontrolled bleeding. It would be best if you made an appointment with your family doctor or a gastroenterologist.

I'm not really skinny, I promise, its just everyday I have the same thing over and over and I will not change my routine. I think I tend to eat less because I'm a busy person, eating feels like a chore so I eat things that are really quick to eat. This is my diet:
Breakfast- 1yogurt + drink
Lunch- 1apple + water
Dinner- homecooked meal with the family

Is this a healthy diet?

Your diet isn't the best I have ever seen and it is not the worst either. You could probably improve upon you lunch with a salad or a sandwich to go with that apple.

If your healthy and not underweight then there is not anything truly wrong with you and you are certainly not anorexic. You could try eating smaller type meals more often if taking time to eat is seen as a chore.

If your still in school I'm sure you can find something quick and easy to eat in the cafeteria at lunch other than the apple. When you get home maybe a PBJ sandwich or something else like some carrots or celery sticks. Celery sticks with cream cheese or that thick Greek yogurt would be really good. Then dinner with the family and an after dinner indulgence would be in order as well.

When having anal sex can a girl cum thru her anus

There are a great many nerve endings in the rosebud of the anus that might feel good when stimulated. Though to produce an orgasm is highly unlikely.

Most women who say they had an orgasm during anal sex is because they or their partner also stimulate their clit during the sex act. This allowed the recipient to come. Unlike the male a women does not have a prostrate that might be stimulated during anal sex. So stimulating her clit or her vagina is generally required for her to orgasm.

Hiya there, 16/f..
Me and my boyfriend are going to lose our virginity to eachother pretty soon and I've heard that boys often climax too quickly and get too excited during their first time.. so has anyone got any little flirty foreplay tips or something to make him last longer so we can both remember it?

Before I answer your question I have listed below a URL for a website I believe you and your boyfriend should look at before you have sex. I found this site when answering questions like yours from other young ladies.

I hope you and your boyfriend are old enough to be having sex. As young teenagers your bodies are old enough to perform the act but you really do not have the maturity to be having sex as a young teenager. There are ways to enjoy each other intimately without having sex and fear of unwanted pregnancy. Also if you are not on birth control I would suggest you wait until you are. You boyfriend should use a condom as you can get pregnant the first time you have sex and condoms are only 85% effective when worn correctly. Both off you being virgins the possibility is good that he will not know how to properly use a condom. This will decrease the effectiveness of the condom as a method of birth control.

Now to answer your question: You could give him a handjob or blow job before you have intercourse. Being young his recovery time will be quick so this may not slow him down to much. Before you have intercourse it would be best if you two work at having fore play to get to know each others turn ons and how to get each other off with foreplay then take the next step to intercourse.

http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/virginity/readyornot.html.

I am in desperate need of advice. Couple years ago, a guy got me drunk a few times before we had sex. We had a thing for a little while but the times I drank around him were few. I think he has a video of us or me naked. He admitted to it several times and denied it several times. He described the time it happened. The reason I approached the idea to him was because I remember a camcorder right next to the bed a specific night we messed around but I was drunk out of my mind and don't recall several hours of that night but I remember waking up half sober/half drunk and seeing it right there and he told me he didn't record anything but there were a tone in his voice when he said that insinuating he did. He denied it everytime I asked until recently. I let it go forgotten for a while but when I thought to think about it, I got really anxious. I think it was just one time, it couldn't be more than three. He told me he would bring it back from home for me to destroy it but I don't have reason to trust him. I know it's illegal to have that kind of tape of someone without their permission. I thought if I sent warrants to his house, his family would deny it to vouch his word and I don't believe police are very good at finding things like that. What can I do? I know I'm an idiot for being so absent minded for so long. Please Help. I'm scared of being exploited. I'm also very self-conscious of my body, I couldn't live with myself if that got out.

I can think of two things that come or can come into play here.

The first is you are right. It is unlawful to tape anyone without their permission. To distribute that tape or show that tape to anyone is also unlawful.

The second thing, and this is really the big thing, is if you were under the age of 18 he is or could be in possession of child pornography. This brings up a whole host of charges including federal charges that could include his parents since the tape is in their house.

Those charges would be the making of Child Pornography, The possession of Child Pornography, The possession for possible sale of child Pornography. If you were under the age of consent in your state add in the charge of statutory rape.

Now you can threaten to go to the police with these charges if the tape is not returned. Or you can just go to the police and file the charge of video taping without permission. During the investigation it will come out if you were under age and during the search, they will obtain a search warrant, if they find the tape or others he could face the charges I mentioned or others. It would depend on what the police find. His parents could possibly face charges as well if the tapes were found in other parts of the house other than his bedroom.

As I see it you have options by which to force him to turn over any and all tapes he may have of you as these charges do not go away over time. If ever caught with them, especially child pornography, he will face jail time.

No matter how drunk you may have been. If you feel you were recorded go with your feeling. As long as he may have a tape of you and him together he can always sell or distribute it. Worse someone else could find it and sell it.

17/f

I am 5'8. To give an idea of my dimensions, my measurements are 44-38-48. The mechanical scale in my bathroom says 216. The electronic scale at my home reads 219. The electronic scale at the gym reads 226.

For my weight loss tracking I just use the mechanical one at home, trusting that if the number is going down and my clothes are getting looser that I am indeed losing weight (~30 pounds gone so far, baby! WOO! :) ), but I just can't help wondering which one is more likely to be accurate?

When I tell people I weight as much as 226 they seem like they can hardly believe me, for whatever reason. I don't know if they're just being polite or if the gym scale is a little off.. What do you think?

It does not matter which scale is right. What matters is which scale you can use every day at the same time. I would use the one at home as this is the scale you can weigh yourself either in the nude or in just your underwear.

Since the weight of your clothing changes by what you wear you should attempt to weigh yourself wearing the same clothing. Either gym clothes or your underwear. At home in the privacy of your own bathroom you can even weigh yourself in the nude if you wish. Each weigh in should be done in the same manner as close as possible to the same time of day as our weight will fluctuate some during the day.

Using the same scale at the same time in the same attire will give you the most accurate weight loss. Your goal is to loose weight and any scale regardless of its accuracy will accomplish this if you follow the simple rules of weighing yourself at the same time of day, wearing the same clothing to get the most accurate reading.

I'm not a big fan of BMI at least not at this point in your weight loss program. When you get closer to your goal then you may want to look at your BMI. While you are on a weight loss program you should be checking in regularly with your doctor so that he or she can monitor your progress. This is important considering the amount of weight you have lost and what your goal may be.

What are the ways not to get pregnant when not having safe sex

The best way not to get pregnant is not to have unsafe sex. Not only is unsafe sex a sure way to get pregnant it is also a sure way to get an STD. Condoms are about 85% effective at preventing pregnancy when the man wears them correctly. They are also effective at blocking the transmission of some but not all STDs.

The use of proper birth control methods is the only way not to have an unplanned pregnancy.

I only tested for hiv 10 months after possible exposure. My results came back negative, but i have been having this headache for about a month now & i appeared to have a flaky skin, pain aroud the umbilical & ichy rash on the neck cord 6 weeks back that lasted for 4 weeks. I once had a headache 3 months after possible exposure, where the doctor diagonised it as sinus. Then i read somewhere that sinuses is an early symptom of hiv, hence the reason of being afraid to test at the time. Could i be hiv positive?

You will never know for sure until you have been tested. It is possible you are seeing elephants where only ants exist but this is understandable given your reason.

The general rule is that after 6 months a negative test is giving you a correct reading. Most labs will run the test several time to make sure they are not getting a false reading. To put your mind at ease go ahead and get another test.

3years ago I was in a "hidden" relationship whit some guy I truly loved... Had sex like a regular bf nd gf did use protection bt there we're times that we didn't use anything..question is...I tooked the morning after pill 6 times in 7 months got pregnant wen I took the 5th one nd went for abortion...am I damage from inside will I ever get pregnant even if it was 3years ago..I do get my period regularly thou..?

Frankly this is a question you should ask of your Gynecologist. As far as the abortion is concerned; if done properly that should not cause a problem for you in getting pregnant.

The morning after pill is, as I understand it, nothing more than a high dose of birth control medication to prevent fertilization or implantation. Saying this I still can't answer your question. Whenever visiting a doctor your entire medical history is important in your treatment. The fact that you have had an abortion and used the plan B pill as often as you have I believe is something your Gynecologist would need to be aware of. Your GYN is also the person most qualified to answer your question.

Schools safe enough during emergencies?

Should we be looking into "safe rooms" or storm shelters, etc at least for schools in tornado ally? Huddling in hallways doesn't seem to work that good. There were tornado's today but not around my school. It was raining really hard. And there were tornado warnings for other counties.The principals and the teachers thought it was a real tornado so they were running down the halls telling kids to get out of class. They were making everyone scared and some of us were at lunch. They made us go into the auditorium by the front where there are glass windows and doors, then they made us go into the halls where there is big glass windows and glass doors and some of the kids were only a few feet from the door even though they were telling us to get down. I think if it was a real tornado we would have all died cause there is no where to go and everyone was scared. Kids were just running through the halls scared and mad. The roof fell in the cafeteria and the lighs went out for a while. Don't you think schools should have shelters?

The safest place, the experts tell us, during a tornado is underground.

When building something like a school the school board has to weigh the cost versus the risk. The cost of building a school with a full basement is extremely high. Add to that the cost of engineering it to be strong enough to with stand the effects of an F3 tornado and the costs go even higher.

Like everything else in life cost is equal to risk versus cost factors. A traffic light at a intersection is 3 to 5 fatal accidents before a state or county will spend the money for a traffic light on a local street intersection. The same equation is used to an extent in building the type of school you want.

As another advisor stated your parents, collectively, need to tell the department of education what they want in a school building. If all they want is a building that is functional for what it is being used for that is what will be built. If they want a community safe haven for storms. Then the board of education must build a school that is also a storm shelter to protect the students and residents of the community.

You and your fellow students can start this movement towards a safer school. Local news media will pick up on your activism and the school board will have to take notice. Many of your parents will join in your activism. Activism starts with one person and some thing to act for. In this case you can be the person to start calling for safer schools.

My husband to be and I are going on a romantic get away to Gatlinburg, and we're staying in this cute, romantic cabin for a few days.

I want a good tasting wine.
Nothing expensive; but a good price for the great taste.

Any ideas? I've never had any wine before, I'm usually a vodka, or wine cooler kind of woman, so any good ideas would be helpful.

Thanks.

I've always felt that serving a Zinfandel is always a good choice. Be people I am entertaining be experienced wine drinkers, new wine drinkers or have particular tastes in wine a Zinfandel seems to satisfy everyone. It is inexpensive, depending on the maker it should be no more than $14.00.

Most vineyards will produce a blush wine or Zinfandel. My preference in a Zinfandel is Sutter Home.

I don't understand my math and whenever I listen in class I get it but whenever I take the test I fail and my mom is really mad and so am I but whenever I try to go to the tutoring hours for my teacher she's never there

If your teacher is being paid to be there during tutoring hours she should be there. Go to the guidance office or your school principal and ask for help. When your told to go to tutoring hours explain you have and that the teacher is never there.In the alternative you could have mom call the principal and ask for help giving the same explanation when told to send you to tutoring hours.

Some people just can't take tests. They know the work but freeze up when it comes to testing. You could discuss this with your teacher and see if there is an alternative way of showing her you have mastered the lesson.

I had a baby 6 months ago and two months after my son was born i noticed a huge lump in my stomach that moves all around sometimes near my ribs,belly button, even above and below my belly button. It gets hard and i usually feel it most when i lay down... I had a c section if that helps. Im scared of what it could be i dont have insurance or money right now to go to the doctors. If any one has had this problem that would be great help!! Thank You!!

We are not doctors and we are not allowed to make diagnoses. Even if we were doctors we would have to examine you to make a diagnoses.

The bigger problem with your question is you're asking if anyone else had something like you're experiencing. No two people are alike and no two people will have the same diagnoses for the same pain or problem.

The fact that you don't have insurance does not mean you can't see a doctor. If there is not a free clinic in your area go to the county or city hospital. They have to see you and treat you regardless of your ability to pay. There are programs such as medicaid that will cover your visit if need be.

I don't know what your problem is but lumps should never be dismissed. So go to a clinic or hospital.

Like homes that have ppl check up on elderly people. Cause my great grandmother fractured her neck and fell on her face today. This is not the first time she has fell. She broke her hip before. And she lives in a different town from most of her relatives. We live 30-45 minutes away from her city and she lives by herself. I think nurisng homes are bad and I've seen some people in there. My great grandma is 95 yrs old and she has problems with remembering things too. Is there homes that can have people check up on her?

Depending on how badly your grandmother fractured her neck there may be no choice as to where she lives in the future. Once she is ready to leave the hospital she may be discharged to a rehabilitation hospital and from their to a nursing home. This will depend on what level of disability and care the fracturing of her neck has caused he to need.

In the best of circumstances after a short stay in the rehab hospital she may be able to return to her own home. To move your grandmother into an assisted living center, which is what you are looking for, may not be what she wants. Elderly people do not function well when forced to move out of surroundings they are comfortable in. It is proven that even in nursing homes, if a patient is moved to a new nursing home after they have been in one for any period of time, is devastating to them. So much so it is actually sort of life threatening as it has been proven that it shortens their life expectancy.

My advice is that if your grandmother is adamant that she stay in her own home then if at all possible you arrange to do that. Fix the house up to be as accessible for her as possible. Arrange for visiting nurses and if needed a live in care giver. Meals on wheels is also something that should be looked at as the delivery person is yet another person who is responsible to check on your grandmother during the delivery of her daily meals.

Speak with neighbors to see if they will look in on her on the weekends and at on holidays when the other services may not be available. If you do these things which will allow your grandmother to be at home where she is comfortable she will be with you for as long as she is destined to be with you.

21/F
boyfriend is also 21

my boyfriend and i have been dating for 4 months. I know it doesn't seem long, but we were talking for 3 months before that. but officially been dating for 4 months. anyways, things were going really good we never really fought and if we did we would figure things out pretty quickly. we go to the same college and so we see each other a lot but we give each other space too so we don't get annoyed of each other. 2 weeks ago things started to get a little different and he told me that he just doesnt know anymore. he's super confused with himself and doesn't feel completely happy. i asked if i did anything to make him feel this way and he said no, that it's all him. he doesn't know whats wrong with him and he doesn't know what to do. i asked him if he wanted to break up or be single and he got all teary eyed and said that hurt really bad to hear that. he wants to work things out and wants to still be with me but he's really confused and doesn't know what to do or how to help himself. and neither do i. i have no idea how to help him. he says it's killing him inside because he knows he's hurting me. he said the only thing that bothers him with me is that my mood changes and he doesn't know if he's the one that's making my mood change or what. i've told him that it's never him. it's just school and other things. and i've been trying to change so that my mood doesn't go up and down all the time. he knows i'm trying. he would never cheat on me and i know this for a fact and i would never cheat on him. we both have been cheated on and so we both know how it feels.

the main thing is he just is so confused and doesn't know what he wants. and he just wants to be happy again. i have no idea how to help and thats what i really want to do. i'm worried that he's going to break up with me but i already asked if he wanted to and like i said, he said that he didn't want to and if he wanted to he could of done it already.

i guess what i'm asking is if anyone knows any suggestions of what i could tell him, how i could help, what i can do, or something..

Being 21 should I guess that you two are in your last year of college. If I'm correct there are several things that come to mind.

He may be unsure of the future, not specifically his future with you but the future in general. This has brought on a form of depression. I'm not sure if he is suffering from the clinical form of depression he would need to be screened for that and be diagnosed. This could be done at the health clinic. This would be a good idea to have him do.

Not knowing his field of study I will say he that his major concern could be the high rate of unemployment for college graduates. At this time it is running between 118% to a high of almost 25%. Remember 6 months after graduation student loan repayments start. If your unemployed and can't repay them it hurts your credit rating.

He could be being pressured to go to graduate school in a field of study that does not truly interest him.

These are just a few things that could be weighing on him. Your relationship is too new that he may not feel comfortable discussing this with you. My suggestion to you is that you find a way to ask about these things to see what the root cause of his problem may be and see if he won't go to the health center to be screened for clinical depression.

Stress is the main cause of clinical depression and is easily treatable. Remove the stress the depression goes away and he will see things more clearly.

I hope I have helped

Hi, I'm 14/f.

I masturbate on my stomach. I don't like to do it on my back because I just can't reach orgasm. I've tried countless times, and it never worked so I just flip over.

Is it bad to masturbate on my stomach?
Is it bad to masturbate really roughly?

Thank you in advance for your answers, it really means a lot!

Short answer is No.

Whatever works for you is fine. Don't listen to friends who may tell you differently. we are all different in are likes and dislikes. The same goes for sex. Masturbation is in effect a suitable substitute for sex. So if doing so on your stomach works for you have at it.

Hi. I'm 14/f and my boyfriend an I have been talking about having sex. He really wants to and was respectful enough to just ask instead of trying to pull my pants off, unlike my ex's and I've told him that I don't want to and he knows how I feel about the whole thing so he hasn't asked that question exactly, but he has hinted a couple times and got the same answer and then yesterday he brought up the topic of masturbating and right away this came to my head;

If I don't have sex with him but still satisfy him somehow (by masturbating for him & letting him watch and masturbate if he wants to) then is that wrong? Of course I don't want to tease him by telling him that I have this idea and then not do it so my question is;

Is this wrong? I'm 14/f, virgin and I want to stay virgin until my wedding, by the way

Thank you for all answers!

I agree with masterclinic in that you at age 14 are too young to fully understand what you want sexually. Yes you want to remain a virgin until you marry and that is a good thing. You may change your mind later in life, possibly in College when you believe you have found Mr. Right. That would not necessarily be a bad thing.

For now though it is wrong because at your age being in a position of masturbating with your boyfriend puts you in a very vulnerable position. I had a letter just yesterday were a girl, younger than you, felt pressured into having sex with her boyfriend even though she did not want too. She was in a very similar situation to what you describe. Being forced or compelled after you say no is rape and that is what I told her. So I ask you why put yourself in such a position?

Their is nothing wrong with masturbation. If you need to then do so in your bedroom with the door locked so you are not disturbed. Masturbating with your boyfriend is really foreplay to sex; a position you are to young to handle should he try to push you in anyway to have sex with him.

What type school would be best for Registered Nursing?

I would suggest you make an appointment with the Director of nursing at your local hospital. Ask him or her about what are the responsibilities of a registered nurse and what jobs are done by a registered nurse within the hospital(s).

If you hear one of more jobs that sound interesting ask if you can job follow those positions for a few days and ask the Nurses where they went to school and what they thought about the schools they went to? Did those schools properly prepare them for these jobs? Are there better schools that would prepare them for these positions? If you have more then one hospital in your area call them all.

The people doing the work and who went to the schools are the best people to ask. Then you should look at the schools on line. Pick the ones you want to apply to and visit them.

Nurses are in such short supply you just may find a hospital that may be willing to assist with tuition in return for you contracting to work for them in return for a certain period of time. This would be a good deal if you find such a hospital. If such a program is not offered when you are face to face with the director of nursing ask. You have nothing to lose by asking and everything to gain. Just make it your last question.

Ok I'm not like freaking out cuz my bf hasn't written me yet he's in badic training gor the air force but about how ling will it take him to be able to write me?

Unless things have changed since I was in Air Force basic training. when he arrived at Lackland AFB he was instructed to send a letter home to mom advising that he arrived safely and how mail should be sent to him. At least once a week the Drill Instructors allow a few minutes time to write home to mom.

Now I am saying mom because in all branches of the military even the highest ranking General fears mom(s). I was a flight leader and part of my job was to see to it that my flight wrote home when they were suppose to. Of course this left little time for me to write home. My mom got worried after not hearing from me and called my recruiter. He called his Captain who called someone else who called the base General who called my Captain. I was called to the Squadron office where the first paragraph of a letter home was dictated. I then finished the letter which the Captain said he would mail for me. I was then given 15 minutes to get back to my barracks which was 5 minutes away. This left me time to make a call home where I proceeded to tell my mother never to do that again.

Long story short they keep your boyfriend very busy during the first few weeks of basic training in order to avoid home sickness. When they let up on him he will have sometime to himself to write letters and make phone calls home. If you want to write to him his mother should have received a letter within a few days of him arriving at Lackland AFB.

Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost two years now. He's never rushed me into things and we both want to have sex. I wanna make sure I know what I'm doing soo I don;t look stupid (by the way I don't know much. Can I get any advice soo I can kinda chill out?? Also, I want to know what I can do AFTER we have sex soo it won't be an awkward situation??? Anything would be great (:

I found the website listed below sometime ago when answering a question for another young lady. I would suggest you visit it before you have sex.

You should be using birth control to avoid pregnancy. If you are using a birth control pill you should be on it for at least 30 days before having sex for the best protection. Your partner should also wear a condom. Not just to prevent pregnancy but condoms while not protecting you from all STDs do prevent the transmission of a good many STDs.

Even if your boyfriend is more experienced then you I suggest you both review the website I have listed below. One of the most important things it will point out is you find a comfortable and safe and secure place where you can take your time and not be intruded upon.

I also hope you are old enough to have adult sexual relations for even though you may take adequate protections against pregnancy there is still a chance. If you are still in high school I would strongly suggest waiting until you graduate.

http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/virginity/readyornot.html.

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