Gender:
FemaleLocation:
Washington stateOccupation:
RetiredAge:
64Member Since:
April 24, 2013Answers:
7093Last Update:
October 11, 2025Visitors:
128438Favorite Columnists
solidadvice4teens
Hollywood22
adviceman49
GiddyGeezer
Razhie
kittenlover2000
Grandfather
rosalee
missundersmock
teehigh
gr8fruit
more...
Main Categories:
Love Life
Families
General Sex Questions
View All
about
Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
advice
I fucked up my high school carrier so bad all from pot, i am a clean cut 16 year old who is active and rides dirt bikes i have everything i could ever want, i constantly get yelled at everyday for my fuckin up in school, i just wanted to make my parents proud , but obviously thats not workin, they wont even let my transfer to a continuation school to earn credits and get my diploma there , im in a fucked up situation, i cant live for this shit, my whole fam would be so pissed if they knew how many credits i was missin, i need advice quick
Hey hon, I am sure they may be pissed at what you've got happening at school. But first lets take another perspective here.
First, don't hate yourself for it. If you can't forgive your self, even with the best supportive family, you'll still not get ahead. Life is about making mistakes and learning from them,not repeating them.
That said, there are some reasons teens get into messes like this and it would be good for you to understand why and your parents to remember when they went through the same thing.
One obvious reason is peer pressure or just curiosity. The problem with resisting the peer pressure or being able to put a healthy limit on things is because of the following:
The prefrontal cortex, is a section of the brain that weighs outcomes, forms judgments and controls impulses and emotions. This section of the brain also helps people understand one another. The prefrontal cortex section of the brain in teens is still a little immature as compared to adults; and it doesn't fully develop until your mid-20's.
Therefore, young people are more prone to make decisions that have terrible results. We all suffer the consequences of having immature brains at that age, just some of us don't have it as bad and seem to skate through without any obvious bad effects.
Why I mention this about the brain is that knowing how this is affecting you now is part of the solution, the other part is utilizing adults you trust as a sounding board, someone to talk to of all the things you want to try and do, not just serious stuff like school but fun stuff like dating, sex, and yes, trying pot, smoking, drinking and also any problems. You need people who can be open minded, objective and not tempted to give you the answers, only another perspective.
In making decisions, even as adults, the more we research and the more perspectives we get before making a decision, the better equipped we are to make the best choice. When you are operating with only one perspective--yours---you have a fifty/fifty chance of getting it right or wrong. It is wise to up your odds of getting it right.
Good choices for an adult for a sounding board are first those who know you the best such as parents, an aunt, uncle or grandparent. Others can include school counselors, your priest, youth pastor, sport coach, any other professional adult you come into contact with who you feel comfortable going to for advice. You made a good first step by coming here for advice.
My husband had a psychologist as a mentor when his parents went to the guy for marriage counseling. The man met with the kids to see how the problems at home may have affected them. They became good friends and stayed in touch for 10-15 years. Although I utilized my parents a lot, other mentors were the school nurse and youth pastor.
Remember, a person should not be defined by their past, only upon what they are doing currently. Keep that in mind when viewing yourself and regarding how others view you. You want a mentor who will work with you based on where you are at right now, not on your past.
Your parents said no to you attending a different type of school just to get your GED. If they had the missing information of exactly where you are at it would explain why you asked. If you are serious about making up for lost time, and paying the consequences, they may be pissed but proud of you at the same time for wanting to fix that.
Give the parents a chance. They may be initially pissed but also proud at the same time.
If you can't handle their anger and disappointment, then tell them about the grades in a letter. Let them know that your current situation has scared you into wanting to do the right thing and make them proud. So you are giving them time to get over their initial reactions to this news by writing instead of speaking to them and once they have calmed down, you want them to come to talk to you. Let them know you are hoping for constructive support and suggestions to help you begin to learn how to make solid adult decisions, not taking the reins out of your hands and making all the decisions for you but giving you a chance to have a voice regarding your future. Good luck with that. If the parents can't handle it well and are not helpful, don't give up dear...it's your life and future here so if you find yourself in this situation, then go find someone who will help you by laying out all your options, and helping you get hooked up with the solution.
OMG. Okay so I kinda like this guy and I think he might like me but I am not sure. We act like we hate each other but like once I was winning a race and stuff and he put his hands over my eyes. Isn't that like boy for "guess who I am" or something like that! And then he told me kinda jokingly at frozen yogurt that I was gonna go down where the devil lives if I got a purple spoon! WHAT DOES HE MEAN. Then I had this dreamish thing and we kissed and he said "I have been wanting to do that for a long time" and remember this is a dream so what does that mean for me!?!?!? I am so confuzzled. Can you gimme some advice!!!
(I am a young teenager)
Finding any way that seems accidental or normal for the circumstance to use as an excuse to touch someone you like of the opposite sex, is one of the ways that people Flirt, by touch. Other ways we flirt is by what we say, and non verbal things like our smiles and looking at the person.
I'd say the guy has an attraction to you unless he goes putting his hands over lots of other kids eyes. Does he like to tease all classmates or is he a person who uses his hands often to express himself as he talks and he does things like touching all people when he talks? There's people like that, I am one of them. If he does not...then clearly he was looking for a way to touch you and see how you react to gauge whether you are interested in return.
He can't read your mind. So get your interest out on your face and smile at him every time you see him. It will make you look more open and approachable to him. Say hello and greet him by name.
As for your dream, it could just be wishful thinking, your subconscious mind expressing how it feels. It can not express how he feels. That you will have to discover for yourself while wide awake!
I have no idea what he meant by the devil and a purple spoon. Maybe it's a common saying from a particular part of the country or maybe only something his family came up with. Makes no sense to me. You would have to ask him someday what it means. Even if you're a young teen, its a great time to learn how to approach, flirt with and communicate with the opposite sex cus there are some differences in how they think and process information and in what they say.
Be brave and start conversation with him. Start hanging out as friends and classmates. Then to show that you are hoping for more, flirt by touch if he hasn't yet. Guys will find reasons to brush up against you, touch your hair, place a hand on your shoulder or arm briefly. You can touch the same way. Pretend to remove an eyelash off his cheek or a bit of fluff from his hair. A person who is not interested in the other person won't be comfortable with anyone touching them for any reason even legit reasons.
I will give you links on a you tube website where the topics covered are mostly oriented to sexual topics but she does discuss relationships and dating too, usually from her perspective now as a young adult but it works for younger folk too. For now, here's something on crushes and dating. Good luck dear.
How to talk to your crush
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQqLhp0hcJg&list=PLTXiNEUzXWKS_CuWf_uiLKON6PeZrHErB&index=15
The next one is the best compliment you can pay another person is wanting to spend time with them. It shows how special they are to you and works with crushes as well as Laci's example.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOqrWzclvUA
Lastly, some things to look out for in relationships where it might become unhealthy or bad.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ag6YqvQLmRY&feature=youtu.be
Sorry to ask here but I have been through a lot recently and am having a hard time keeping going. :( Do you have any quotes that have inspired you to keep on going when it seems like there really isn't much of a point to trying anymore?
Don't feel sorry...there's nothing to apologize for. This is as good a place to ask as any.
Here are some quotes that helped me and short bits of advice of friends that helped me when I was in the midst of my crisis's and when I had finished going thru them. Things that helped me see the past crisis as a positive thing and also to have the right attitude to focus on the future.
“The word “crisis” is from the Greek, meaning “a moment to decide.” The recurrent moments of crisis and decision when understood, are growth junctures, points of initiation which mark a release from one state of being and a growth into the next.”
~Jill Purce~
“As with an Antique, the ravages of life upon an individual create a more precious thing in the end, giving one more character and charm, gaining the status of being precious for simply still being.”
~Luna Nebulosa~
“Even the most daring and accomplished people have undergone tremendous difficulty. In fact, the more successful they became, the more they attributed their success to the lessons learned during their most difficult times. Adversity is our teacher. When we view adversity as a guide towards greater inner growth, we will then learn to accept the wisdom our soul came into this life to learn.”
~Barbara Rose~
“If you live on this planet, it is inevitable you will run into hardships, crisis, personal attack, and disasters; that is a given. What is to be determined is whether you simply survive it or overcome it. A survivor is still alive but due to what they've experienced, has stopped living. An overcomer finds ways to deal with and heal from their hurt, pain, disappointment, devastation, confu“If you live on this planet, it is inevitable you will run into hardships, crisis, personal attack, and disasters; that is a given. What is to be determined is whether you simply survive it or overcome it. A survivor is still alive but due to what they've experienced, has stopped living. An overcomer finds ways to deal with and heal from their hurt, pain, disappointment, devastation, confusion and temporary lack of new direction and continues on with life.”
~Luna Nebulosa~
When I was in the middle of my biggest crisis of my life, a friend told me "It is not a selfish thing to love yourself first. Love yourself enough to not settle for less, remove yourself from harmful jobs, relationships, etc. Until you do, you are not loving yourself fully and that and reaching will hold you back in life and from making goals and moving forward.
That word of encouragement hit home and gave me just enough strength to push through my crisis.
Once on the other side I was plagued with the "What if's" of whether I could have done better, critizing myself and any and all decisions I made.
Someone else told me, it doesnt matter what path or road you took to get here, what matters is that you made it. Life is a race where everyone gets to cross the finish line and it doesnt matter how quickly you finish each segment, the detours don't matter, its all in the past. Don't look into the past, look into the future.
Another key thing I was told, forgiveness is a big thing. Forgive yourself for decisions you made, things you did or could have done better. Forgive in your heart, those whose actions affected you, whether they even know you or not.
And then again, i came across information that reminded me of how diamonds are made naturally. They all started as carbon rich rocks. A rock like that looks nothing like a diamond and doesn't have anywhere near the strength a diamond does. Its what that carbon had to go through to become the hardest most indestructable and most beautiful rock we know of today. If halfway through the intense pressure inside the earth it had to go through, the carbon rock cried out, God remove me from this, I can't stand the pressure, then it would not have formed into the diamond of today. What I think is that our souls are the diamonds in the making and to be ready to live in our creators presence, we need to go through the changes and growth that make us strong enough to live for eternity. Well, its a good thought that helps me when my body is tired, hurting, I get some satisfaction knowing my soul is being shaped into a thing of beauty.
Im 13 and my boyfriends turning 14 soon and for.his birthday we want to have sex, but we have no place to do it. Im never trusted to leave the house so im always inside and hes not aloud inside my house. We really wanna try even though were too young. We just need help about when and where we can do it. I thought about school but they have cameras everywhere and i live next to the school so i cant just go somewheres else. Im really stuck and i need help asap. We may be young but we just want to try. Any ideas? Im open to anything.
Having sex with a partner is only one piece of this journey you began when beginning to go through the first changes of puberty. There is much more to it. Since it looks like there is no place to try it let alone a time when you two can be alone together, I suggest focusing on all the other aspects of your sexual debut. This includes things such as getting familiar with your bodys sexual areas, inside and out. Get used to looking at yourself down there in a mirror, touching yourself inside. Do you know what your cervix feels like? Have you discovered your g-spot yet? Have you tried clitoral stimulation to achieve an orgasm? Its not about losing virginity or losing anything but about gaining all sorts of experiences.
I have a favorite you tube channel I share with teens. The videos are many, all short 3-4 minutes, on positive sexuality and relationships with focus on young people and the gal is in her early 20s and really researches and knows her stuff. Has worked together with Planned Parenthood.
Here's some of Laci's links. I recommend eventually watching all her videos. Save her page and go back often. You'll be referring to it lots over the next 5 years and beyond.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdYtYveJI1Y
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-hUbI8my0Q
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AepqPbvpsvo
Hey, I'll get right into it. I met this girl called Kelsey about year ago in my science class and some people joked about being married and i never thought much of it but over the last few months we've been talking more and more and the marriage joke had gone really far. Anyway we talk about everything, including our love lives. We talk most nights now and i really don't know if i've found a good friend or something more.
And if i do a crush on her what do i do about it(i know she still has feelings for an old boyfriend)
Thanks for reading!
You are not going to be able to explore whether there is a spark or something more to what you have until she is over emotionally healing from loss of old boyfriend. Maybe just your being a great friend will help her to process through it. If you begin to develop feelings for her besides the friendship kind, then keep it to yourself until she shows signs that she's emotionally over the other guy and now available for a new relationship. If not sure, then after a month or so ask her how she's doing regarding the old boyfriend, if she's over the hurt and loss. What you can do also is trying flirting by touch to see how she responds to it. If she doesn't the first time you try does not mean she isnt interested at all that way, it might still be too early for her. Give her more time and then try for more definite flirting by touch and if she responds then she is equally interested that way.
http://www.lovepanky.com/flirting-flings/get-flirty/body-language-attraction-touchy-feely-flirting
i am scared whether im pregnant or not..i gave my bf a blowjob and then he fingered me.. i dont remember whether he washed his hands or not..but he is very sure that hes hands were dry. that time i was scared whether im pregnant or not! i gave him a blowjob on 24th dec.. my periods were supposed to come on 28th dec but they came on 1st jan as i was taking pills to delay my periods cause i had a function to visit. i got my next periods on 6th of feb.. i dont have any pregnancy symptoms the only thing is that i have pain in upper stomach and i get a quick pain during passing stools..i have this pain while eating anything.. or it comes suddenly. im having this from past few days. it started with a problem in passing stools. what could be the reason. i cant take a pregnancy test.. i am very scared! please help me. i want a sure answer.. because im scared to death.. im 17! and if im pregnant then give me some solutions. i did google on this topic and they said that it is possible to be pregnant without missing periods or even without having any symptoms of pregnancy.. please help and reply.. i need help
No, you're not pregnant because you had a period recently.
Yes, you do need help...medical help to discover what is going on. If it was just pain with stools, then maybe hemorrhoids as mentioned.
But you have other symptoms:
Pains that come on suddenly without warning
Pains while eating anything
Pain located in upper stomach or upper abdominal region.
Pains that are shorter when passing stools
This takes seeing a doctor to get resolved. So talk to your parents and tell them what is going on. Having sex or being pregnant does not cause this kind of symptoms and pain. It may not be anything really serious but if left untreated could become serious so do not delay getting the parents told and yourself in for an exam.
My stomach hurts all day when i eat it the pain goes away then comes back five minutes later please help
Theres no way to really know why.
The best thing is to go see a doctor to find out what is causing it. There could be a dozen reasons why.
Just for example of how varied a stomach region pain could be:
I know from experience and from co workers who had it that stomach ulcers can cause varied symptoms. Usual is a pain after eating certain types of foods that cause a pain reaction as they come in contact with sores in the lining of the stomach. A doctor can do tests to see if this is the case and give medicines that will make it go away. I had one small one and meds got rid of it.
It could be gall bladder related. I had gall stones and the pain was upper stomach, just under the rib cage and I experienced it whenever I had anything with any fat in it at all. The gallbladder tries to release gall which helps to break down the fats you eat but if the gallbladder is very full of gall stones, it can cause pain for a period of time. Eventually a stone getting stuck in the tube that releases the gall became so intensely painful I ended up in emergency and having it removed.
Those are only two examples. I've even caught flu virus's that instead of causing nausea and vomiting caused nothing but gut wrenching pains and cramps as if someone were twisting a knife in my stomach. I had it from September thru February one year and it was only after getting a flu shot. It came and went kinda like you are feeling.
So my advice is to see your doctor cus it could be just about anything
Weird scenario where I disn't actually intend to send break up text. He got it though. I saw his profile on free dating site we had met on. I panicked and texted him. I explained I didn't really wanna break up and why had he jumped back to dating so fast? He said was just looking around and had no pics so noone knew who he was. Talked about taking some time and meet again later. Two hours later his profile was full of pics, including ones I had asked him to take for me and send me. Ugh. Why lie? Should I call him on it? I am hurt he lied.
Okay so you met on a dating site. Do you know for sure if once he starting dating you that he made his profile hidden or closed it? He may have kept it up to keep dating options open. .
Perhaps dating doesn't mean he has necessarily made a commitment yet to be only with you. For many, even myself as a female, we want to date several people at the same time UNTIL we get to know each one well enough so we can see which person we have the most in common with, the most spark with and who we really want to commit to. Going out on dates is an exploratory thing at first for many. However, lots of females make the mistake of assuming there is a commitment.
Another mistake is having a lack of self confidence. Men are attracted to women with self confidence over women with models looks but no confidence. Confidence is sexy to guys. Dont take my word for it, there are many videos on you tube by dating and relationship experts who spell this out for women. You can look it up yourself or ask me to provide links. Women who are constantly checking up on guys, who act too desperate for a guy send little messages that they are not confident enough in themselves and their personality being enough to attract him. And if he's not attracted or changed his mind, instead of desperate, she's happy to let him go because the confidant woman wants a guy who is really into her, not some what or lukewarm.
So to actually answer that question, do you call him on it? No. There is no reason to.
What gets me is that usually you need to have a profile to look up profiles. I am wondering for what reason you were still using a dating site. Or why you were checking up on him. The woman who behaves as if she could care less if a guy were seeing other women, and not making herself available for him at the drop of a hat, are the ones who actually become more interesting to a guy.
I did free internet dating. Met 2nd husband nd that way. I met a lot of duds first. I screened guys first by a list of what I was looking for in profile. Then by talking on phone and if he passed those screenings, I met with them in person. It was then I discovered things they'd kept hidden or lied about and that was it. The moment any one of them contradicted themselves, or I caught them in a lie, I dropped them. Harsh? No. What a person is really like at core will eventually show itself after they take off their mask of 'good behavior'.
One last thing, I once met a guy from dating site at a coffee shop. He understood that I was checking out lots of different guys and meeting them. However when I got ready to go home he began to beg me, "Please choose me, choose me, Oh I hope you want and decide on me." It startled me to see a guy do what women typically do. And now I knew why guys don't like women who act desperate like that. That guy made himself appear weird, unattractive, wimpy, low self image, maybe effeminate, and desperate and that was a BIG turn off to me. It is the same thing to men.
How to break up with a guy you really care about. We have been dating 3 months. He shows up to my kids sporting events I am not even divorced yet although paper work is filed. I was married 4 years separated in July. I want to focus on me getting more in shape. It's a constant battle inside my head do I want to be with him I do its just not the right time. He is a sweet man. He tells me how much he cares about me how he wants us to work. Although he is looking.
Getting in shape? What are you talking about? Is this about losing weight first so that YOU feel you are more attractive and thus more worthy of him?
You mention a constant battle in your head.
It sounds like he's already accepted you as you are and is attracted to you without you having to "get in shape". If you want to become more healthy than you already are, adding in exercise and changing a diet, those are things that can be done with a partner, there is no need to break up with a guy for the reason that you physically aren't at the best you can possibly be right now.
If this man is asking you to get in shape and lose weight, then he is not accepting you as you are. A mate should encourage his partner to go for their best but it shouldn't be a deal breaker if they dont make it.
I don't know you so this may be off..but --There is a possibility that what you are dealing with is related to self confidence, your self image. If lacking confidence or have too low a self image, then yes...you need to work on that BEFORE going out and meeting guys. That piece of advice works for those who haven't found another guy yet, so since you have, you'll have to find a way to achieve both...staying with him if you both already have feelings for each other, and dealing with what ever it is you want to deal with.
So what I am saying is that a person does not break up with someone they care about. What you need is to trust in him, gain intimacy where you feel okay sharing with him everything, your strengths and your perceived weaknesses. You need to talk and let him know what you are thinking and struggling with how you want to focus on getting in shape. But dont just toss out phrases like that, explain in detail for him what you mean by that rather than leaving him to guess. tell him that you don't know how you can do that while seeing him and give him a chance to offer his perspective and any possible solutions. Maybe he wants to be able to be a part of it and help you 'get there'.
Okay so my boyfriend & I have decided we want to take our relationship to the next level. A bunch of my friends said that having sex for the first time really hurts & others said that it doesn't. He has fingered me before & it didn't hurt although I know its nowhere near the same as having sex, but I'm curious about what I can do to make sure the expierience won't be painful..?
The reason your friends are giving such varying reports of 'it hurts' vs 'it doesn't, is because too often, no one has read up about having sex beforehand and so, often they do some things wrong so there is pain.
Some believe the Hymen will cause pain. It doesnt have to. It is a very elastic stretch of skin covering a portion along one side or two walls of the vagina. With practice to stretch it out using first one, 2, 3 fingers inserted or if you're old enough to purchase a dildo, that will help to stretch it out.
Another tip to avoid pain with sex, whether first time or your umpteenth time, always use lube. there are many types of Personal lubricants available. Pharmacys and groceries have them but there are even more types available. Some People believe that all women always produce enough personal wetness to take care of it. Maybe a few do. However they are not going to have any of the thicker lubricating mucus available if not properly aroused. Guys usually dont know enough let alone have patience to work on a female long enough with foreplay before entering her. It would be best if both of you do some studying, get educational books for couples on sex how to's, or if too young to purchase that, then the internet has plenty of informations available in articles and on videos.
Some people think it's wrong to work on sex—that it should just flow naturally but studying, learning, coaching, and practicing is important for anything we want to tackle in life. Non or us are going to be pro's the first time but study can avoid the common problems and make a first time more enjoyable.
A last point is for the boyfriend to move in very slowly, a little at a time giving the hymen a chance to adjust and stretch slowly.
Oh one other thing. The females vagina before being fully aroused is an average 3-4 inches in length while an average erect penis is 5-7 inches. So already, you can see that he is longer than available space if he does nothing to arouse her. The period of time needed to get a female aroused can vary, 10, 20 minutes but it can be much longer 1/2 hr to an hr too. However, once there, she stays aroused and doesnt come back down for a long time. Most guys first time dont take the time. When the female is aroused, the uterus and cervix pull up higher inside her and the length of the vagina increases by several inches. Even so, there can occasionally be a guy who is much longer than her aroused length. The other pain comes from the tip of penis ramming too hard into the cervix or slipping to one or the other side of it and hitting nerves that send painful electric shocks down the legs. So its important for the guy to listen to you. And both of you need to communicate almost as if you were a sportscaster giving a verbal account of each little thing. Encourage and say when something feels good, or say ow...wait, and try more lube or to say to go more slowly. If you do all this, you should experience no pain.
19/f
The guy I'm talking to is 22. We've gone on a few dates and he kissed me on our last date.
We went on another date today and things went really well and after we ate, we watched movies at his place. Well after awhile we ended up making out and it escalated. I stopped before we went too far because I'm not ready to mess around. He was cool with it. That was one thing that bothered me but since he didn't pressure me or anything, it was fine.
Besides that, he compliments me and talks about his family, work, ect. So he seems to actually be into me.
The thing is, I'm never good at telling when someone is just seeing me to get in my pants or to genuinely get to know me. I've had some bad experiences so I want advice before I jump in. So what do you think?
Some other information is that we do text a lot. After tonight he texted me and told me he respects my decision and all that. He told me he wants to date and see if it can go long term and that he can see that with me. Then he asked me to be his girlfriend. Is that weird or normal? It threw me off. I just told him eventually yeah, we'll see where it takes us or something like that. Now my first thought was that he wants to be with me because I told him I don't mess around with someone who I'm not in a relationship with. But he told me it makes him like me more since I have self respect or something.
Honestly, I might be over thinking all this but he seems really nice and I'm really starting to like him. I'm just paranoid. Probably because of my past but I won't get into it. I am getting professional help for some pieces of it though.
Also, I just want to know if it's normal for guys to move that fast with a potential girlfriend? Like obviously I'll see it on TV shows. But we barely know each other so is it weird or is it just me?
Pretty much any advice on relationships would be awesome. Or any experiences that you've had. Thank you and sorry that it was long!
I'm glad you're both communicating..that helps me to answer you. You wrote: " But he told me it makes him like me more since I have self respect or something."
The greater majority of males are attracted to females who have self respect, a good self image and are confident. That confidence shows when you tell him what you will and wont do, what does and does not interest you, what you believe in or not and you stick by it all. You lay it all out and say this is how it is, if you don't like it, you can go elsewhere. Only girls who are desperate for attention from a guy will make changes or adapt for the guy and to win him and keep him. Only a few guys coming up across someone like you will not be interested because they want the party girl who has no depth to her personality or to her mind because all they want is her body for sex.
All males are interested in sex. So of course he will hope that some day the two of you can explore that. But he is drawn to you because of all the other things about you which will become more obvious over time. You don't have to rush anything. Yes, there can always be the ones who pretend they respect that, give you a little time and then start to pressure you for sex. If it doesnt feel right and, your inner sense is saying something, listen to it. It won't take long for him to show his true colors. So give him a chance. Time will tell.
i used to think Bruce Springsteen was a wonerful singer untill he came out with Devils and Dust in 2005 also i learned that he cannot sing he screams in most of his songs and in 2010 i gave him another chance but afterwards stopped but why does he scream always and yet people call him a talented boss becuase his voice is just awful not only that but he is also sometimes compared to Billy Joel
Hey people have different taste in music. For example, I personally don't like Trans music, Rap, or hard acid rock with songs where the person screams...so I 'm with you on that.
As to why he does it? It's anybodys guess. The
only person who could really answer that for you is Bruce himself. Maybe there's a fan club for him where you can write in and ask.
He is afterall 64 yrs old and though many singers are able to retain their singing voices for longer than that, with some people, the quality of their singing voice starts to fade as they age.
SO just maybe he was losing the quality of his voice so he turned to screaming to cover up that fact.
Many rock bands have become famous over the years for their musical composition more than the quality and sound of their voices. I have heard way better voices on America's got talent, than I have heard from some individuals in famous rock bands. They may be able to sing on key but not have a high quality voice.
Thankfully in this world, we have a choice as to what music we listen to and what movies we watch. Just exercise your choice and try not to worry about what others do and why. Try not to let things that others do bother you because you have no power to change it. The only person you have power over to change is yourself. Thanks for writing in.
So first of all im a shy 17 year old girl and it takes me some time to become comfortable around strangers enough to talk to them. Well my boyfriends mom and dad are divorced so he has 2 familys kinda. I feel uncomfortable around them both. They are complete opposites of my family and what im used to being around. My family is a christian family who are strict and will do anything they can to help someone in need. They make anyone feel accepted and comforatble. But his family is the opposite. His dads house is where he lives mostly and he hates it. He has that evil step mom. i mean shes evil. She would be rude to me and talk crap about me when i wasnt there and my mom and dad found out and im not allowed back in that house. His dad has talked to me once which is the day i met him. Thats it. His mom lives about an hour away and we go there every weekend. His mom has a gf and they live together. Well i hate it there. His mom makes me feel stupid and like she judges everything that i do. I feel like they always talk about me while im not there. and she looks at me like im stupid sometimes and when she talks to me my boyfriend has to tell me she has something to say to me. And her gf isnt bad i like her a lot better. But i still dont feel comfortable. Usually by now i would have already opened up to them and talk but im still as shy as the day that i met them. When we get to his house i stay back in his room unless we ride his 4 wheeler. i stay back there by myself a lot while hes in there talking to them. The other day we were in the car and she told me when i come over the next time instead of standing there to say hi or something. i started crying because i have social anxiety and i got soo nervous thinking about having to do that.. idk why. but when we were parking his mom said something about how she forgot i was back there because i was so damn quiet. and she yelled it and it embarrassed me and hurt my feelings tbh. i hate being around them. i HATE it. One time i was in his rooma and he came in there and told me to tell his mom thank you. i have no idea for what. So i went in there and he said mom candice has something to tell you and i said thank you and she said youre welcome! it was confusing and embarrassing becuase they all knew except me. Now my boyfriend is absolutely amazing and i know if i tell him how i feel he will listen. He may get a little aggitated or something but he will try to understand. Tbh im very jealous that hes so accepted and loves being at my house and i hate going to his and feel the way that i do. Now its getting close to saturday and im trying to think of excuses of not to go to their house! Should i say something to my boyfriend? Weve been together for 3 months. Ive tried telling him but i got too nervous and didnt know what to say. So what should i do?
I understand that dads new wife is not friendly and talks behind your back. Staying away from that negative energy whenever possible is a good thing, however mom and her g/f sound like nice people.
What you are describing is not so much a problem with these four people not "accepting" you, it's more about how you come across to others in the world, other than your family who knows you well.
A great majority of people lack good social skills. And that will affect how they come across to you too, even if they are more self assured and have no social anxiety as you do. Even friendly people have trouble with how to make first contact, reach out and befriend someone.
You are battling the same extreme shyness I had when I was young. I was your age when I was finally tired of being that way and wanted to change and become more like my dad, very outgoing and friendly and making friends with strangers all the time.
You can't expect ALL people to figure out that you are shy and want to coax you out of your shell...it doesnt work that way. I may be one of the few exceptions. Here's my story of having a young teen like yourself come to my house. My daughter in 6th grade brought home a friend who was shy and wouldn't speak a single word. I could read by her body language that she had this social anxiety like I'd had once. So I welcomed her and asked her a question or two which she did not answer. My daughter had to answer for her. Once I had my answer, I acted as if she'd told me herself, "I'm glad to hear that dear. Well welcome to our home" ending with a comforting quick pat on the shoulder. She eventually over a couple years worked out of her shyness. I was told by daughter she felt comfortable and welcome at our house even though her body language and actions told a different story. At one point I asked her if I could give her a hug after I just greeted my daughter with a hug. She gave a slight nod. After hugging her, I told her i felt like I had 4 daughters now instead of three, that in my mind she was like an adopted daughter. I know that day was a turning point for her and she was able to start talking to me after that.
So honey, I truly know what you are going thru. You have to trust me when I tell you that you need to work on yourself because the majority of people in the world are not going to be like me, you are going to have to learn to overcome your social anxiety...its do-able. I did it. You are soon going to be on your own and you will continue to feel like this where ever you go, and believe that everyone else is unfriendly or judging you or not accepting you. It's faulty thinking. I know from experience. Of all the stuff I imagined what others thought of me, maybe I only got 1% right and 99 % wrong. For the longest time I believed the problem was "Out there..." with "other people..." when it was all internal...with me. No matter what others do, never take it personally because just like you, their battle is internal also and their actions do not reflect on you.
So heres what you can do to overcome your social anxiety.
It took until I was about 16 before I decided I was sick and tired of being so shy. I didn't have the guts to just switch behavior and start talking. Strange how I never thought to talk to my outgoing, friendly dad about that and get help from him. So I prayed and asked God for help (He knows each of us better than anyone )
and here's the answers I got. It sure helped me and I know it will help you. You can skip any steps you already have mastered.
1. Smile at strangers every day as you come across them. When you are comfortable with this, move on to step 2 Do the same with his parents because you are not comfortable with them yet.
2. Smile and add saying hello to people you don't know. This is already harder because your mind will be going, "They're gonna think I'm nuts cus I am saying hi and they dont even know me." When you can do this without feeling awkward or shy, move to step 3 (When you say Hi or greet his family they may or may not respond back at least I get the impression that its possible at his dads house...but remember...you're doing this for yourself, to overcome here. What they decide to do when greeted is their own problem not yours.
3. Smile and say hi to and then pay a compliment to another person you don't know. It could be telling the grocery clerk you love her necklace. Keep paying compliments to people until you can do so without being fearful of their reaction or simply the act of doing it. Do this with his family and also with strangers cus this is the hardest step. example: Hi Judy, oh are those new earrings? They look cute on you. His dad, Hi Earl. (he grunts in reply not speaking) Oh, sorry Earl I'm not fluent in grunts but I'll try. Grunt 1. Smile at strangers every day as you come across them. When you are comfortable with this, move on to step 2
2. Smile and add saying hello to people you don't know. This is already harder because your mind will be going, "They're gonna think I'm nuts cus I am saying hi and they dont even know me." When you can do this without feeling awkward or shy, move to step 3
3. Smile and say hi to and then pay a compliment to another person you don't know. It could be telling the grocery clerk you love her necklace. Keep paying compliments to people until you can do so without being fearful of their reaction or simply the act of doing it.
4. Smile, say Hi, and start a conversation with a stranger. Here's an example. When I'd be at a clothing rack and another woman was there...no matter her age, I would make a comment to her about the clothing. I'd pull something off the rack something that looks absolutely hideous in color and comment, what the heck do they call this color and who would look good wearing it? Would you wear it?
Keep trying statements with a question to get responses from a person. If they don't open up and start responding and sharing some of their story or thoughts then they are part of the 10 % of people who are hermit like and don't like being around people or talking to them. I took a class that taught about personality types and discovered that 90% of people are very friendly but will not start conversation first. If you can learn to start conversation first, in every situation, you will find that the majority of people respond in a very friendly and supportive way. They won't find the fact that you start talking too weird. Once they figure you're a naturally friendly person you will see them willingly respond back and share bits and pieces of information and such.
If his dad is not the generally friendly type, do your best to try anyways, Say Hi Earl, how are you today. If he chooses not to answer but just grunts at you for example, this is a point where I will tease to get a point across to the person that they aren't communicating well with me. I might say, Sorry I am not too fluent in grunt language but I will try. Make grunt noises in return. then say, in case you wern't able to translate, that meant I hope the rest of your day goes great. If the person has a sense of humor they will chuckle at the very least and perhaps make a response but if always in a sour mood, then no response and you will learn quickly after a few tries if the person is someone to not put any effort into. Keep greeting with a Hi and goodbye but dont attempt conversation. the ball is in their court and if they want to talk at this point they have to start.
Hope this helps dear. If you come up with any particular situation as you work on this that you'd like to talk to me and get my opinion on, what you said, someones response...let me know.
Good luck.
So me and my boyfriend are in a ldr and I've never had an orgasm. I'm 22 and he's 23. He told me to go to a adult store with a giftcard he won and buy myself two different vibes. So I did and tried one alone in my apartment. I had my first O. it was so intense I screamed and my whole body convulsed like a mini seizure. It was so scary I didn't like it. I prefer just getting to the point where I'm relaxed and feel like I have to pee and then stopping and having sex with no O. It was too intense and scared me. I don't think I ever want to feel that again. So now I just vibe to where I'm comfy and no further. Help? I want to O without screaming. I don't want it that intense. Intense but not that intense and my **** burned after. Again help? Advice?
Your comment of finding it scary takes me back many many years to when I was about 15 and gave myself my first orgasm. The things I was feeling and doing scared me so much I didn't do anything for 2 years after. LOL
I just want you to understand that you can't custom order your orgasm, and pick and choose like what ingrediants you're putting in tonights soup.
I have come to discover over time that those intense reactions from my body are normal
My suggestion is to take things slow and get used to it slowly going further. The great thing about orgasms is that they are stress relieving and actually healthy for you physically in many ways.
A females clit has thousands of nerve endings, 3 to 4 times the amount that the head of a penis has so of course what you are going to feel is intense. BTW, 75% or more of females never have an orgasm in their life and a smaller percent only through clitoral stimulation but not during sex. As for a burning sensation, perhaps you didnt use enough lubrication? Was this a burning and soreness that lasted a long time or was only related to directing after the orgasm? Those nerve endings are going to be extra sensitive afterwards and I suppose you could say it is a burning sensation.
Train your body slowly to get used to it. I don't really know a way to train my body to "Not" response. Perhaps only 1 in 100 learn how. Your bodys response in sex is going to happen whether your mind wants it to or not. It's an involuntary action like when the doctor taps your knee to see if the leg will jerk. Your mind didn't choose to make it do that, nor could it decide to not allow the leg to jerk. My opinion is that sex is like that. If you do anything to stimulate, you are going to get responses but one day it might be a light orgasm no screaming and the next, hard and intense all from the same stimulation.
The point you mention of you feeling the need to pee, is the point just before a big g-spot orgasm. If you drain your bladder before doing so, you'll know its empty so when that feeling comes, if you can train yourself to let go, you can have great orgasms.
It might be helpful to study the physiology of orgasms as taught to med students in short you tube videos with helpful diagrams. I will add those links for you. Perhaps if you understand how your sexual organs work to achieve orgasm, you may find your own ways to gain some control over them.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVL_GudwAOI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnEJ6bcVFsI&list=PLHROYgtRnnKAdSQWyUzdDDdkls81azAm2
A few days ago I went to sleep over my grandmothers house (Im going to sound like a crazy person right now, but whatever), Around 5 am I was laying on her couch and I started to hear somebody talk to me in my head. There was something I was feeling guilty about that time and that voice told me that he forgave me and that it was alright and I thought it was God at first. But after a while that voice became really annoying and when I started to doubt if it was God it became really scary. I would feel really heavy and started to hear more voices talking. I was in total panic because I had heard scary stories about people being possessed and killing others. And I was really afraid that my body was possessed too and would move out of itself. I suddenly started thinking of knives and all that and my family who was sleeping. I started clinging to the couch and keep holding on to it and tried to keep still. And when my leg suddenly began to spasm I freaked out. It felt like something jumped through my body and I got scared. And well at the end I started crying.
I then prayed to Jesus and asked if he could please help me get rid of the voices. When I stopped praying I heard one voice say 'Im still here' and I went on with praying. Then I called my mom to come get me because I was too scared and my grandma wouldn't wake up , when my mom came I got into the car and I heard angry growling & demon voices. I was so scared that I didn't tell my mom cause she wouldn't believe me. They've gotten worse.
I've been hearing voices on and off since I was 10 yrs old but now they're worse. I see shadows (not people's shadows) all of the time.
I probably sound like a lunatic but I swear this story is true. I have no reason to make this up since I don't gain anything from making myself look like Im crazy. I keep hearing scary demonic voices and I'm scared. I hear angry screaming and weird noises. I even saw a cloud of black smoke floating by me when I was in the living room. When I close my eyes sometimes I heard angry demonic voice too and I know I'm not mentally ill.
Is your family very religious, you mentioned praying to Jesus.
I used to attend church and I know darn well how focused they are on the negative and fear based thinking. While I attended church I ran into so many people who experienced what they called hauntings, seeing things, being scared by unseen or seen forces feeling evil presence, etc....
However, since leaving the church, I have run into many many who believe in God, Jesus, angels, or a higher power and not a single one is being plagued by demons or evil? Wanna know why? Because they aren't daily or weekly focusing on stories meant to scare us into being good so we dont go to hell. I know many who believe in Jesus but don't follow the stories of Hell, Devil, demons or demonic attack. YOu see, what our minds constantly take in and dwell on in fear, we will draw to us like a magnet simply because of the focus on it.
I have to share this next bit in case there is a chance that this is going on for you. I'd be remiss if I did not. Your statement: "I have no reason to make this up since I don't gain anything from making myself look like Im crazy." is the thought process of a normal sane person. But here goes:
There's always the chance that though you feel normal to yourself, that you may have developed schizophrenia which is the one condition I know of where people can have hallucinations seeing things that look quite real and have tactile hallucinations in which you also feel things that seem real. I had a brother who was schizophrenic. He has all the different levels of it. When the parents invited him to church, I noticed that the depressive subject of hell and devil and such influenced what his mind hallucinated and it went from seeing friendly people to seeing devils and demons and believing the devil lived inside of every woman except for me his sister. So if you try what i suggest you do later here and it doesnt help, you may want to have the parents take you to get checked out.
What if I told you there was no such thing as Hell. Its only the Christians that believe in it. In the early stages of Christianity certain leaders of power wanted more power and believed if the masses all came under the control of the religious authority of the day, they'd have great power.
I could go into telling you how the church imitated pagan holidays, (pagan meaning:not attending a christian church/it did not mean the people didn't believe in God) just trust that it was a carefully thought out plan to gain eventual total control through Christianity. So how did they convince people whose ancestors for thousands of years believed differently?
What motivated the people to change over to Christianity? Planting doubts and fears in their mind.
So the whole story of Hell was created to scare people into accepting Jesus as savior because if they didn't they'd go to Hell. Did Jesus come to earth...Yes. Was it to die for our sins? No. Did he die on a cross, Yes, because he knew his job He came to do was done. Aren't you curious now as to his original reason for coming?
I have been led by God to read certain books so I can decide for myself what is real and what is a bunch of garbage or waste of the. There are many paths to the same conclusion of coming to belief in God. We may have one part of it right and the rest still believe wrong but God is ecstatic that we have got the one piece right and will work with us within the construct of what we currently believe whether completely right or not.
Since you are in a spot of immediate need without the leisure to go read and discover it all yourself right now, I will share some basics for now that I want you to study later on your own and learn to think for yourself and decipher what is true and what is not with the help of God who resides inside you.
God does not sit with a judgement book and decide who goes to hell or not.
Reincarnation is real and Hell is not.
There is no time limit by which we must come to know Jesus as Gods son and God as the heavenly Father. We have as long as it takes us. We get to resist as long as we care to. But eventually with enough time, we begin to learn and grow as souls with each life we live on earth which is the classroom of our souls.
So there is no Hell, there is no Devil running around on the loose, so where do these dark entities come from?
Most of us have the same ability to create with our minds as God does and the humans who are choosing to walk a path in the opposite direction of God will collectively create these negative dark entities that are real because they were created by our thought. We underestimate our capabilities as Gods kids. Few of us realize we have the ability to create healing energies and heal a person who is open to being healed or on the other hand to create dark energies without most of us aware that we did it, how we did it nor how to undo it.
So how to be protected from and go on the defensive regarding what plagues you?
1. Focus your mind on your Angels. Sometimes angels will act without being asked to protect but the majority of the time, they are waiting to hear orders from you, be given a specific job before they will do so. The instant you picture them doing whatever you asked and pictured in your mind, it is being done. Use your angels to protect you whereever you go, to stand guard over your house and property. If you're having trouble feeling they are as real as the negative things you see and hear, then Give your angels names and picture in your mind what they look like, they can look as individual as humans do.
2. You can also place a shield around yourself, what your visualize in your mind with your eyes closed will be real even though you can't see it. See yourself surrounded by a clear bubble that nothing bad can penetrate. Like being in a giant soap bubble but this is not fragile like a soap bubble, nothing or dark energies can enter to mess with you. Even though you can't see it, the dark energies can, and like magic, they can not penetrate it because it was created by a child of light. Darkness can not enter or live where there is Light. You know that from the Bible.
3. Restructure your thoughts. You'llwill have to work on your negative thought patterns because they have contributed to your problem.
Maybe this mental picture will help. Remember everything King Midas touched turned to gold? It's like that with your mind, everything you think, you create.
The moment you worry and think about what if it doesn't work and something growls at me or I see something, then capture that thought. Talk to it:
"Negative thought, I am kicking you out. There is no place for you here. I replace you with..." and replace it with whatever seems right like thoughts of how the angels are filling the very space you're standing in and multiplying in number until they're packed like sardines in a can, so many that there is no room for dark energies and those energies are being pushed out of the room. Retraining your negative thought pattern will take some time so the first few days you may have to replace scary thoughts every other minute. It'll be a pain in the butt but you have got to do it if you want things to get better. Eventually these bad thoughts and the fears that come with them won't come as often and soon will be gone and the bad energies with them.
If you dont believe in your own ability to have these powers of your mind heres a little test for you. Go look up some pictures first on the internet of what our aura, and our energy field looks like. Our aura has different colors depending on what we have been experiencing in life, a recent sadness will show in the colors, if you are a teacher or artist at heart, these traits will show in certain colors in your aura. When you are consumed by negative feelings, like the guilt you mentioned that started the last attack, perhaps low self esteem, self hate, unforgiveness, jealousy, anger, shame, fear these things will show in your aura as clearly as the Matador waving a red cloth at a bull to get the bull to come attack him. Its like a blinking flashing light for dark energies, they see it and they are drawn to it like moths drawn to a flame.
When I was first learning I did this experiment with my energy field. Other people can feel your energy field. Ever come to stand close to someone and they back away to put distance between you and them? They are overly sensitive and can't handle the input of your energies and so automatically their body backs away. Some peoples energies we are attracted to and they feel good.
So heres the experiment you can try so you can come to a place of believing in your power to picture and create with your mind.
I read that a person can visualize pulling their energy field all the way in side their skin so it no longer extends several feet around the body. this energy field is what people feel when you give them a hug too. Without telling a friend who liked to hug that I was doing this, I visualized pulling in my energy and then gave her the hug. Her immediate response was "Whats wrong? Are you mad at me? Is something bothering you." I laughed and told her what I'd done and pictured in my mind my aura and energy field being released back out to its normal reach several feet beyond my body.
I hope this helps you a lot. I am picturing two burly looking angelic warriors that look much like the fierce Scottish Highland warriors on each side of you. They will remind you to use your mind in positive ways.
i just now regained access to this website and i have looked in LightofTruths Advice Colum but really didint see any new advice from her did she quit this site or is she still giving advice and im sending this to DragonflyMagic
Yes, Lightoftruth is still on here giving advice. I have her listed as one of my favorite advicegivers and she has me too. I checked her page and one of the questions she answered is the same one i did a day or two ago.
i read in your advice colum recently and found a question asked by a 24 year old girl who said she was babysitting her cousin who is 22 and has autism anyway what i am saying is shouldnt he be allowed to stay home unsupervised having autism does not mean he cant i have autism and i get to stay by myself and i handle everything very well so um how is it that some people who have autism can stay home unsupervised while some cannot becuase to me autism is just a part of who they are and they can get passed tantrums which is sometimes good to throw also i hope you get this one in your advice colum real soon thank you
Hello sweetie, thanks for writing.
I hope you did not take anything personally.
I understand that there are many levels of autism and funtion-ability with that.
This girl did say that she is dealing with someone who has the mentality of a two year old and yet I know most autistic people to be extremely highly intelligent, in many cases more so than the rest of us who dont have it. So there is a chance the young man has complications and that it is not only autism but something else he suffers from. I of course could only guess. If as his cousin, she is assuming that he has the mentality of a two year old based only on the tantrums he has then that is not a good assessment. I got the impression that her relatives did nothing to teach her how to handle him when as his parents after 20 some years they ought to have a clue what regular consistent patterns he needs and what helps him to calm down.
Actually I dislike the word tantrum as to me as tantrum means that the one doing so is too mentally immature yet to be able to process and handle a situation such as any normal young child.
I prefer calling it an emotional meltdown/breakdown which is something any mature adult can go through whether autistic or not....everyone has their breaking points of what takes them over the edge. Its just that with autistic people their brains just "fry" as my husband puts it because of too much sensory input all at the same time. He should know, he is a low level autistic with great ability to function.
I am sure you are well able to take care of yourself dear. I personally do not assume that being autistic means you need supervision. My own husband figured out for himself what he could handle and what he cant and is good to let me know when something is becoming an overload. For example: he has long hair and one day i may be playing with it and all is fine and he loves it, on another day I go to do it and I've barely started when he exclaims sharply, "Honey, honey stop. I can't take it, it hurts." It is painful to him and I understand and dont feel rejected, it is how he is. I love to dance but it is for the same reason he cant and wont dance because he can't handle the sensations of movement and music at the same time, he says his brain starts to fry...his way of noticing the start of what could progress to a meltdown if he tries to push it or not stop the sensory input thats causing it. Sometimes I have to listen to my music with headset cus he can't handle the sound. But he does great for some reason with techno music and can pick out all the different beats where I hear only one. Well, thanks for writing, if you have any other question let me know.
okay so I want to have sex with my bf and were both virgins.... all my friends tell me not to... they say it hurts ALOT and now im scared but I really want to have sex with him....
-how bad does it hurt?
-should I be scared?
-what is the most comfortable position?
-will the pain ever stop?
these are my questions... please awnser them!
It may depend on several things as to why they all experienced pain.
The first time does not need to be painful. If a girl is really young, then she is not done developing yet and can also be quite small and then her hymen, which is a strip or two of extra skin along the sides of the vagina partially covering the entrance make it a tighter fit for several times until it is stretched out. It is very stretchable and over time will slowly stretch to accomodate whatever size, size of a tampon, a sex toy or a penis.
What I do know is that very little if no sex ed at all is being taught in schools these days. Maybe just warnings to not get pregnant, where to get condoms or just use abstinence. But nothiing is explained on what to expect when becoming sexually active. So its very likely that ALL your friends did not do something right.
Here's a list of what might cause pain and what preparation is needed so there wont be any.
Not having proper lubrication. Even couples who have had sex all their life will find days when they need more lubrication than what the females body creates. In fact, most days, a good KY jelly or other personal lubricant purchased at a pharmacy will help alot if spread over the penis and over the pussy lips. Without proper lube and the guy pushing to gjet in, if fast and hard is how he enters he can tear the hymen or any skin near the entrance of vagina is sensitive too and lack of lube means two dry surfaces coming together with friction or movement is going to pull uncomfortably at your skin and you'll feel a twinge and say "Ow, stop...need more lube." Even I have a day every once in while where I have to say the same to my husband. Most young girls the first time don't communicate to their partner or he doesn't really care enough about her to listen and ignores her. Be sure the guy you're with really cares about you, is willing to listen.
If the guys penis hits your cervix too hard and that hurts. (The cervix is straight at the back of your vagina and if you've put your fingers in to explore, feels like the tip of a nose) There can be two reasons for this hurting.
The first is the most common one. Women take a longer time to be aroused than men so young guys don't realize that there are things they need to do until she is ready. Lots of foreplay, kissing and giving her orgasms by stimulating the clit or g-spot. The importance of the female being aroused first is that her uterus will pull back further up inside her which increases the length of her vagina for penetrative sex. Beforehand an average length of the vagina is not much more than the length of a tampon applicator pushed all the way in, therefore only 3-4 inches when not aroused. After aroused she can be several inches longer in length. Most penis average lengths are 5, 6, 7 inches. If he tries to enter a female who has not yet been aroused and is only at 3-4 compared to an average sized guy of 5-7, you can see that there is not enough room for him to get all the way inside. In the frenzy of his excitement, he can try to hard to get in deeper which would hurt the female.
The second possibility not as common as the first is that the guy is over average in size, 8 inches or more in length. I know from experience what that feels like. The extra length of penis wants to go somewhere and so the end of it slip to either side of the cervix and pounds a pocket of skin where there is a nerve it hits, that feels worse that hitting your funny bone like your elbow and having that electric shock go down your arm cus that funny bone pain is just the once but with each thrust from the guy, its like hitting that same nerve over and over so you have your legs end up frozen in incredible pain. The way to get around it is try different positions other than missionary. Your partner should promise immediately to stop the moment you utter, "Ow" . And you should do that the moment something feels just slightly uncomfortable but not painful to catch it before it becomes a pain. If you're both moving slowly at first, then you should have plenty of time to speak a warning.
If you are too fearful going into this, you will already be tense which could make things uncomfortable.
If the both of you have decided that each of you is the one you want to experience sex with the first time, then it would be a wonderful thing if you both studied and did some research on line first. If he has no idea about female anatomy nor you his other than what is visible and what it looks like, thats not enough. You need to both understand the physiology of it to have a good base from where to go exploring.
If you want links to some things you both could study together so you can both be better informed, let me know. I'd be glad to help.
me and myboyfriend had sex. We didnt use protection. He didnt cum in me at all. I looked upsigns of pregnancy and ive been feeling them ever sence. I just had some blood fall out . I dont know if it was spotting or not. He said he didnt pre cum in me and there was no acess cum on his dick. Im scared im pregnant . But it doesnt seem like i could be with no cum. SOMEONE ANSWER QUICK
You're probably not pregnant. But your great fear of becoming pregnant and the stress of that fear can make you period late.
Then the power of your mind can play crazy tricks on you.
My suggestion is that you make a trip to planned Parenthood and have them talk to about your birth control options and get started on one of them. Be sure to get complete instructions on how to use it, if the difference in the colors mean anything, if during the week of rest you can or cant get pregnant, these are the usual questions including what to do if i forget a day. Make a list before hand but get that done. It's more comfort for your peace of mind than just a condom. As you already know, precum can get transfered to the vagina in several ways before a guy even gets to the point of putting on a condom.
There's this kid that I've definitely been friend crushing on lately, I just think he's cool and think he'd be a great friend, a cool person to hang out with. The other day, my friend needed him to do something for her but he was at home for the weekend. His roommate is one of my best friends so I got his number from my best friend (his roommate) and texted him what my friend needed.
Since texting him, we've been talking more in person and I definitely think I might have reeled him in. The other day, a group of us was going to Applebees, I texted him and asked if he wanted to go, he told me he's been spending way too much money on food lately and thinks he should stay that night in. I said okay, no problem. My friends and I got to Applebees, and he was there with three other people. The girl I was sitting next to at Applebees told me about 15 minutes into us being there that he was waving his hands trying to get my attention so I didn't look because I was upset that he told me he wasn't going just for me to go and see him there. A few minutes after that, he texted me "I really wasn't planning on coming tonight. They wouldn't shut up until I agreed to come. It's nothing against you, I promise." I went to Applebees with his roommate and showed him the text and asked if he texted him and he checked his phone and he didn't, he didn't text my roommate either.
The other day, we had an exam in class. He messaged me when he was done taking it, before I went in to take mine and told me specific things to look over and remember for it. The next day, our grades went out and he texted me what he got, he didn't even tell his friends first, he texted me when he found out what he got.
I know it isn't enough to go off of but I'd just appreciate if you would tell me what you think about the situation. I don't want to pester him all the time if he's just being nice or whatever. Do you think he wants to be friends, too? Maybe more?
Thanks.
Finding reasons to be near the person one is attracted to and finding reasons to talk to is a good sign that they are interested in the other. Whether the interest grows from there depends on how well you both communicate, how you spend time together, ie:times talking more rather than watching a movie together and not talking, and finding similar hobbies to do together.
If he feels close enough to you to want to tell you his grade on a test and cared enough about you to give you pointers, that is a good sign.
To find out if he is interested in more than friends, try some subtle flirting with him.
Besides breaking into smiles when you see him, trying finding natural ways to touch him briefly while in conversation with him in person. This conveys an interest as people don't tend to do that if not interested in the other. Touch his forearm briefly as you talk, I naturally touch people I know when I talk and I tend to touch only 3 seconds at the most and sometimes it's less. If he's said something funny or teased you a playful but not hard slap on the shoulder is great along with a comment, "Geez, you make me laugh all the time, or you're such a tease---but I love it! You can find other reasons to touch such as saying to hold still cus you want to remove an eyelash off their face or something from their hair. Even if nothings there, its a good excuse to pretend for the opportunity. Ever notice how a guy will reach out and tuck a strand of a girls hair behind her ear? Thats a guys version of doing the same. A really close 'just friend' who is male could be comfortable enough to flirt this way too. The difference over time is that he waits to see how favorably you respond to his touch and flirting before attempting to put an arm around you and holding hands and then go for a kiss. So its a process of steps.
Good luck!
Anyone not into you as more than friends will not